Submitted by Libby M
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Cheezburger Company Blog
I only eat the Microwavable variety.
Hot for the trots!
I guess that’s healthier than the fried chitterlings.
.
*double-squeeze*
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GM malicite & brewski!
I find this fail hard to digest.
Hi velvet! Belated g’morning, Malicite!
*squeezes*
Morning Mr. Brewski!
I’m holding out for the microwavable vowels. In a figure of speech, of course.
I prefer my bowels with potato.
…heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Moomin!!!!
No, no he not.
yes, he yes
Unbeknownst to me, he beat me to the punch. I mean, to the potato. See thread way below.
He beat you to the punch bowel?
My cheerios are giving me a message. It says OOOOOOOOO.
.
*squeeze*
LOL! Cheerios are easily impressed.
Oh. My cheerios say coooo. My oatmeal though is to proud to talk to me.
*squeeeeeezie*
.
At least they’re not saying cocococococo.
*Squeeze*
Of course they’re not. That we be copyright infringment on Cocoa Puffs!
*tosses an ‘e’ up*
My cheerios are saying BooB.
*snork*
My boobs are saying “cheerio!”
*snork*
Oops. Too late. Symmetry ruined.
I thought they said, “Ta ta for now!”
hehe.. you’re such a boob sometime, AA…
Do they make bras in AA? That small is sad.
Maybe manziers come in that size. Tho I hardly see the point.
That’s the ‘training bra’ size. Remember those?
Where is Loz when you need her?
Wassup, AA? The existing boobs not good enough for you?
Hee! No, er…I was just remembering her bee stings.
Argh. I leave for a little bit and the Snork Count gets outta control…
Snork Count = 2
*snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork**snork*
ERRORERRORERRORERROR
Hee…!
I never did the training bra thing. I went to bed flat-chested and woke up the next morning with a full rack. My mother looked at me and said, “Holy sh*t! You grew breasts overnight!”
Aaaah, puberty!
Oh me too! One day I had insect bites, the next day they were melons.
family guy quote win!
I’d like the microwavable towels please!
I forgot to bring one.
it sais bowels instead of bowls
*SQUEEZE*
Morning! How are you?
Great! It’s Friday, it’s sunny, it’s warm, and it’s payday. Life doesn’t get much better than that!
.
How’s your day so far?
I’ve spent the better part of it on here! So it’s going excellent!
I love Fridays
I could have sworn I commented on this fail; it must be in the bowels of the blog.
A happy Good Friday Morning and squeeze! to all.
Malacite – I never got a chance to congratulate you for being accepted into law school! Although, I must admit, my first thought was “OMG, not another friggin’ lawyer in the world!”
*SQUEEZES* all around
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!
*squeeze!*
And HOW!!
A sweet sweet Friday too. I have the next two weeks off! All paid!
Party on Garth!
DUDE!!
Most excellent!
SWEET!
Dude! What does mine say?
Sweet! What does mine say?
Dude! What does mine say?
*reads*
It says dingleberry. Dunno why.
It says your awsome.
Dude! Where’s my car?
This could’ve turned in to a very long pun-run with the two same sentences repeated over and over again… I’m not sure wether I’m disappointed or grateful that Arthur stopped before the madness began… I should probably be grateful… Yes, I guess I should.
*squeeze* What are the drinks going to be today WN?
Need you ask?
*pours Cabo shots all around*
*passes out limage*
Why thank you sir. *downs shot and waits for refill*
*places bottle next to WIK*
*looks around* No invite! *drops down 6 shot glasses*
Time to play catch up!
*seethes with jealousy*
*joins brewski in seething with jealousy*
.
Nobody (except the owner) gets vacations here. The whole place shuts down for 2 weeks a year, and that’s your vacation.
*squeeze*
Don’t be jealous. It’s my first vacation in 3 years. I’m looking quite forward to it. I wish I could share it with everyone. It’s so much more fun when there are more people!
Are you doing anything special?
Just going back East (US – Vermont specifically) with my fiancee. She has never been there and I haven’t been there in 7 or so years. It will be good to see all my old friends again. One in particular is having his wedding (hence the cause for going over)
Enjoy every moment.
I am soooooo jealous!
Yeah this was a rough week for me. It the first week back for a week long honeymoon cruise. I hate work.
I can only imagine.
Hang in there.
These bowels are gonna move right off the shelf.
With a turbo re-laxed special like that…who can blame them?
The contracting economy will push companies to make more of this crap.
Ew, Admiral, that was offal!
I agree, we should eliminate comments like that. This subject is anathenema to me.
Hoser.
McKenzie Bros reference, FTW!!!!
Failblog To-Do List
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.
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Make “hoser” comment to Brewski..
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Oh Gawd, Admiral.. That actually made me ROFFLE out loud.
Bwuaaahahahaha….
Ohh, yaah, you betcha!
Take off, eh!
LOL! Oh my gosh. I hope that wasnt my store.
Is that so.
Campbells is mmmm good.
But only if it’s microwavable!
Oh bowels. Bowels.
At the fair price of 10 for $10 with your preferred card.
They are missing a colon. :
colon, megaton, magneton, coupon,
What’s the difference?
I like sparkly christmas cards.
Indeed, they are superior cards.
I like birthday card with annoying low-grade music that annoys the hell out of the person I send them to.
I like sparkly things that go on your fingers…
rings….
Is there another kind?
Yes, there is. Clicky
A finger hat is a small, half spherical covering that can be slid over the finger tip. It serves to protect the finger tip when working with sharp needles while sewing or with other work done by hand. It guards the finger against unexpected pricks, if it worked becomes bijv. with stiff matter (leather) and shoot can the needle sudden by the matter.
The finger hats became a collectors item. There are many memorabilia finger hats made with images of, for instance cities, municipality weapons, flags and members of the Royal House. The most finger hats are made using porcelain, but they are there also made of crystal, plastic, buyer, brass, tin, silver and gold.
What do the bold bits mean?
Thimbles?
You mean a kiss?
Oh, the cleverness of you.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
It’s a beautiful moment in the story
A token’s value has NOTHING to do with its price.
A Tolkein’s values have NOTHING to do with its price.
Tolkein’s volume 3 has nothing to do with Vincent Price.
Sparkly nail polish? Sticky tape? Sparklelube?
Sparklelube?! Tell me more wise Moomin!
Baconlube with glass.
Yowch! That probably doesn’t sell well!
It’s an Estranged Father’s Day gift.
I’d check the fine print; I don’t think we’ve seen all that this deal entrails.
*Reads fine print*
*Has a visceral reaction*
Are you dissin’ bowels?
This contract is tripe!
More like mmmmMMMPHHH *red strained face* good.
Wait…that’s the irritable kind, not the microwaveable kind.
Clean up on aisle seven!
*rushes over with bukkit and ShamWow*
Oh excellent stuff for the bukkit! Nice and fresh and steamy!
15 ounces of fail
I may never eat again….
This is just offal!
Sounds like crap to me.
Tsk tsk, such a waste.
Should be eliminated post haste.
You sure? It might have a royal flush.
It really is a crock of shit.
Bull caca even…
Turd is the word.
T-T-T-TURD TURD TURD, TURD IS THE WORD
T-T-T-TURD TURD TURD, TURD IS THE WORD
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Nah, it’s not the same.
What exactly are you getting (sc)at?
Hasn’t this pun run already be dung?
No, it just loosened.
I don’t think it’s run its course quite yet.
We can take it one step (fart)her.
I find this all highly irregular!
poop
The ingredients are mainly potatoes.
15.4oz potatoes! 0.o
Must be what they serve at the priory.
It may seem strange to us, but at the abbey…normal.
I really wish that vicar story would have been about a rector.
Ha! Great minds think alike. ^^^
That sux.
Get your fails microwaved today! *see back of box for failsurance details*
*reads back of box*
Failsurance details:
None
I don’t get it.
I wouldn’t either. Sounds nasty.
Actually, I think it’s quite excrement.
You are a party pooper!
Nincompoop!
Nor shall you.
How shitty of you…
Hahaha
Let the movement begin…
I certainly couldn’t pass them, not at that price.
I can feel my inhibitions loosen just looking at them.
*text message*
Oi gaynorvader, patrica and I are doing fine.
Is she allowed to swim?
*/text message*
*swoops down to beach*
Sorry my phone ran out of battery, of course she can swim, just make sure she wears plenty of SPF 50.
*flies off, leaving bottle of sun screen*
wow..
*thinks, he sure takes good care of his calf!*
It’s all backed up now.
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Hey, you better be checking on Patrica. I don’t trust Hairy.
Why not? I am a very trustish person!
I looked in my files and I don’t see your application to date Patrica at all.
It was spontanious.
It’s fine, the kids are just going for a swim!
Hey gaynorvader I came to bring patrica back.
We had a great time at the beach!
I’m going home now, see you tomorrow or maybe monday.
Bye!!
Bye patrica!
Bye everyone!
Thanks Hairy, see you Monday!
*waves*
Bye Hairy!
Hopefully they will follow through with other varieties.
They’re coming out with a line of pickled products sold in jars.
It’s number 2 on my shopping list.
What’s #1?
Pepto?
Clepto?
Frozen baby.
#3 is SAFETY. clips.
Almost a pound of bowels for a dollar…. What a steal!
What a meal!
I’d like to buy a bowel.
Have you not enough incontinence to guess the word?
Hmm. Diarrheally think i should go for it?
Alright, I’ve had it, Failblog! Quit eating my comments!
*eats Judys comment*
Yuck! how can Failblog eat that crap?
taste like bowel
I’m never eating comments again, I’ll just stick to pineapples.
Did you see what Arthur can do with a pineapple?
Eat it? :O
*shakes head*
*facepalm, just for the halibut*
no, he does it on porpoise.
Nellie, was that a *facepalm* on purpose, for acting like you didn’t get it?
atleast you made me smile 
pineapples taste like bowel too if you buy them from the vicar
So buy em somewhere else
I has a sad. (Sorry!) I’ve wished good morning to all, gave out squeezes, congratulated Mal on his acceptance to law school and even commented on the fail! And all invisibly. Blog ate them all.
Just cuz I had a url.
I don’t believe it for an instant.
Thanks Judy! *squeeze*
You were accepted?!
Congrats Mal!
Good job Mal! what kind of law are you going into? I may need to
retain your services.
Thanks you!
Thinking community advocate.
*applaud for maliciate*
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Ooh! When do your classes start? Be sure to watch Legally Blonde and Legally Blonde 2. Very important! LOL!
*grabs spare a in malicite’s name and throws it into paper shredder*
.
There!
.
Stupid a’s always jumping in where they don’t belong.
Damnable a’s!!! *Squeeze* thank you! I start in August.
*is debating quitting his job in July and traveling the country for a few weeks*
Congrats! You definitely need to travel the country for a few weeks.. It’s the best thing you could do for yourself.
*Invisibly squeezes back just because.*
*brings a fresh bowel of water for Judy’s flowers*
This will perk them up.
*sniff*
This water smells funny…
They do have a certain ordure.
It might smell bad, but there are good things in the offing.
Watch out! She has an url! That thing might go off!
Don’t worry, it’s only set to “stun.”
*ducks to avoid killer URL*
*squeezes*
*squeeze*
I hate mornings like that!
How are you this fine Friday, Ms. B?
I’m doing pretty good, a little tired though. Stayed out late to see a movie. Other than your comments being eaten, how is your day shaping up?
Awesome! The head cold is on it’s way out, the sun is shining, and if I wasn’t in this dang office, I’m sure I could hear the birds singing.
Was it a good movie?
I really enjoyed it, but the hubby who is hyper-critical didn’t like it as much. I decided last night I need to stop taking him to the theater with me because he keeps ruining it for me.
Don’t ever watch “Spinal Tap” with me.
“Oh, hey, this part is hilarious!! Check it out, did you notice that knobs go to 11?? Ha ha ha ha!!”
I thought Spinal Tap was a band until last week.
Well, they are. So to speak. They are on tour right now, “Unwigged and Unplugged”. Kinda a spoof of the 90′s fad of “unplugged” songs.
All my amplifiers have ALWAYS gone to 11.
Just how it is.
I just turn mine one step past the 10 by brute force, I am that bad.
Sorry Judy. It was me. I will stop eating your comments now.
Thanks! And glad to see you quit trying to eat failbloggers. That was just….wrong.
Agreed…it was wrong on many levels.
Couldn’t they have sold some microwavable eggs as well? Whould have been swell! Then I could avoid the smell. Please don’t make me yell. Sausage
Don”t tell me about that carousel, Call my on my cell,I don’t like to spell. That’s why i added naturell.
the economic crisis is hitting the bumsex industry hard, real hard
granny!!!! *squeeze*
not too hard my dear! my bowel seems to be on holiday
*squeeze back*
Someone tell me to get my a** going and do some work because my employer is under the impression that I should be earning my pennies. Words of motivation please…?
What do you work as? I can only do as much work as I have to do, so no one really cares what I do most of the time.
Corporation stuff! Sometime very boring but usually very exciting. I do a lot of system and data analysis and everything that comes in between. Sometimes I have high dollar impact but most of the time not.
*tests Leila’s $ impact on a shaved monkey*
*discards the monkey*
NEXT!
Sounds better than what I just had to do, run through over 1000 audio files to make sure they match up with a written script! My eyes itch!
I think you should stop scrubbing, then.
*continues scrubbing*
But it feels so good!
*catches Admiral’s look*
*stops scrubbing*
Yo, gaynorvader.
I came to bring patrica back, we had a great time!
Thanks man!
I’m going home now see you tomorrow or maybe monday.
Bye!!
GET YOUR A** GOING!
Going! I will be back after I put my mind at ease for a job well done.
Don’t do it!
.
.
.
I mean, Just do it!
Oh poo. I was having fun flinging mud with you, Leila. Hope it at least feels good to be depended on around the workplace. As for me, I need to get up early in the morning for a road trip, so g’night and have a great weekend everybody. *squeezes all around*
Bye!
Goodnight!
I wish I could help, but unfortunately I seem to be having the same problem.
Ms B – we just have to bite the bullet and do it. LOL *yawn* Okay, I am going…
Do it for all the poor Skwerls who
can’t afford microwavable bowels.
Is that a poem?
Do it for all the poor Skwerls,
Poor skwerls who can’t afford microwavable bowels.
They scratch about for nuts in the leafy swirls
Their poor hungry faces hidden beneath ratty cowls.
now, THAT’S a poem. (I really need to figure out how to do italics)
{i} Type words here{/i}
with the { being replaced by <
Italics are really overrated.
Italy?
it tallies
testing 1 2 testing.
Thanks aiki!
*spooky voice*
Leila….LEILA!!! Stay with us Leila!
Don’t work Leila….stay and faaaaaaaail!!!!
I would love to stay and fail … I really would.
*sneaks the “ni” out of Leila’s comment*
Fuj, flaki z mikrofali. Najlepsze sa gorace, podgrzane na gazie i do tego setka wody mineralnej niegazowanej.
I would say this is Polish, but it doesn’t say “kurwa” so it can’t be.
Czech?
I was thinking Hungarian, but my Hungarian is very rusty. Fuj would be yuck though.
You speak Hungarian?
My Nagymama was Hungarian, my Dédanya couldn’t speak English at all, so I had to learn some. I was never very good though. My Opa was German, so I learned quite a bit from him.
And no, we didn’t call him Opa, for him it was just Grandpa, but for grandma and Great grandma we did refer to them in Hungarian.
Quite a mixture!
Makes me wonder why so many Americans forget about their family history and ignore the customs from their grandparents. seems like such a waste. My family was able to provide me with a great advantage in language and cultural history (we are still have some Hungarian traditions.)
That’s great. I think it might be differently for many other Americans because they wanted to assimilate themselfs in the new culture.
American culture? Isn’t that an oxymoron?
I have to go WAY back (1600′s) before I find an immigrant in my family tree. My forebears were mostly all born here. So I know no other culture than “American”. (except for travel/reading/etc)
I am in the same boat as you Brewski. I have so much mixed blood in me, the only way to classify my lineage is mutt.
Is that Russian? Or did you face plant into your keyboard?
I know I did
*roffles*
Arthur was right, it’s Polish. But I have no clue what it says. Google translate mostly barfed on it.
I think maybe he made a joke about them being served with mineral water “with gas”?
I like the translation google came up with, it made me giggle.
Fuj, with the guts mikrofali. The best are warm, heated gas and, for that hundred niegazowanej mineral water.
Engrish FTW!
Kurtyfel, ENGLISH dammit!!!!
Wieso denn? Er/sie hat doch einen recht lustigen Thread hervorgebracht. Und warum das Gebrülle und der ewige Kommandoton?
Kommandoton? what is this?
when saying this over and over it sounds like robotic villain from Transformers.
When prnounced there is a break as if they are two words. Kommando ton.
*o
You understood the rest? Well done!
Kommandoton is the way drill sergeants speak when giving an order.
I didn’t understand all the rest, I cheated a bit.
I thought so.
Command tone (of voice)…
Wow…your first response to me and I cannot understand a word. *googles to translate from German to English*
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Why then? He / she did a pretty funny thread spawned. And why the roar and the eternal Kommandoton?
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?
Tripe soup with chitterlings and natural sausage casings. The chicken process bypass meal is in the dog food isle.
Next to the microwaveable bowels?
These are all synonyms for bowel. Smoke curing, boiling, deep frying, or microwaving is your option.
Do they sell the instant, just add water, variety?
toilet water
Didn’t see you there, Granny…must remember to reflush.
Its a courtesy, but you might have to get the broom and push the bits down
It’s not a very popular variety. The shelves are cramped with the stuff.
Hahahahaha aahhhh hahahaha *poop* aahhoohh boy. not again.
“New Campbell’s Rectum-Flavored Bowel Soup – just add urine!”
ew… ew… That is just nasty!
well out!
Ruukasu removed the smile on my face. Gross is not always funny.
My smile has since turned upside down…with my stomach.
Neve Campbell?
*looks for someone I know from way back when*
*fails*
*sidles away*
Hello!
*waves enthusiastically*
Hi! I go away to have a baby for a few months, come back… and it’s a whole new set of commenters!
Wow! That sounds like one intense childbirth!
I know.
I mean, I’ve heard of them taking hours, but months?! Fair dues! How is the baby? Boy or a girl? Am I asking too many questions?
Well, that’s exactly why there are so many new commenters
Too many questions? But there’s so much to learn!
There’s lots of new regulars, Sara, but plenty of old regulars are still around.
And as this FAIL plainly shows, plenty of irregular ones as well.
*waves*
Hi, Sara!
Sara J! Welcome back!
*HUGHUGHUGHUG*
Stick around, Momma!
Hi Admiral! How’s things? Guess what… I’ve got ANOTHER little baby foxy on the way!
OMG!!!
*squeeeeeeeeeeze*
Congrats, Mama Fox!
Woohooo! That’s great, Sara! Congrats!
*HUGS both Sara J and DW*
Please, don’t be a stranger, Moma Fox.
Agreed. We miss you, Mama Fox.
*HUGS the Asse and the Admiral*
My dear Dragon! Squee! Hey Drag, I’m going on vacation in a few weeks, and I need a good base tan… think you could help me out with that?
Nothing says a full day begining with Pooptarts for breakfast, followed by some Microwavable Bowels for lunch, and topped off with a sensible portion of Frozen Baby for supper!
Maybe it’s just haggis.
naw your thinking cooked in stomach lining…
Delicious… also i think they do have in microwavable now too!!
It’s cooked in the stomach but the intestines are used on the inside, minced up with the other meat.
Yum!
I’ll have a bonsonant please.
tasty?
someone needs to spell check xD
can’t be good PR!
I’m thinking it’s a Scottish thing. Like haggis.
I don’t get it
yeah me neither.
Microwaveable BOWELS. It meant to be bowls.
Oh shi- ….lol That’s an Albertsons shelf sign from back when we used to have the “preferred savings” shopper’s card. It’d be even funnier if it were from the location I work at but I don’t think it is. But funny stuff like that shows up in the system a lot take Land Of Lakes butter for example.. it shows up on the register screen as LOL butter. I kid you not.
he’s got a very interesting job
*lunch
But they’re free with a coupon!
I can always go for a good bowel
I believe this is the new treatment for colon cancer.
you guys are so gay
So I guess this would be a “fail” on myself but i dont get it…
I get the fail blog itself just not this pic
Sweet! Thats from an Albertsons store, I work at an Albertsons store!
if your bowels were microwaveable, THEN EVERYONE WOULD BE EXPLODING!!!!!
Congratulations!
Somebody understands how this works.
I don’t get it.
lol it took me so long to get this.
Just make sure you hold your breath when you open the microwave to get the hot bowles.
michael jackson’s dad left out of his will. fatherly fail.
hot bowles so nasty
won’t even buy them for $1 for 10