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Ah, irony. XD
Holy shit, I’m first? o.O
Of course not, it’s an illusion.
They’re clever around here.
or is it …..?
what idot…i hate this “first” comments…we shoud block all those “first” IP’s
and those who can’t spell…
ikr? total fail right there.
I’m a personal fan of foreshadowing.
.
Good morning!
Good morning to you too, velvet! How’s your day so far?
*unfortunately, cue FIRST troll*
So far, so good. I turned in Project 1 for my 8-week Advanced Ethics class, so I’m good on classwork until Monday.
.
Glad to see your head cold is vanishing. Hope it’s not moving into your chest, though. That’s where mine end up, and I eventually have to go get bronchitis meds to finish it off.
Huh. Well, it’s certainly getting better. Sorry to hear what colds do to you, though.
That’s where mine is headed.
G’morning.
Argh, I tried to say “good morning” to Judy and the blogmonster ate my post!
*curses blogmonster*
How are you today, Brewski?
Quite well, thanks for asking
In spite of a hungry blogmonster.
He noshed on a couple of mine yesterday.
*burp*
not irony, paradox
paradox is only suggested when the piece is longer, like around a paragraph’s length. if anything, this would be an antithesis.
don’t be such a know-it-all.
I forgot what I was going to write.
Was it “second!!”?
Ah, no. No, it wasn’t.
.
Are you being silly or did you just not recognize the ‘memory loss / forgot what to write’ connection?
Uh, yes silliness was my objective I apologise for the lack of wit…
I gotcha. Now, go get coffee. Regular, not decaf.
Sorry, forgot what kind. Hope you like decaf.
At least you remembered it was coffee. Or did you get decaf tea?
hahaha I always laugh at the comments. Sometimes, I come to the site to read the comments rather than look at the “FAIL(S)”.
What “FAIL(S)”?
I remember you were going to write about hey, look at that, a bird..*blank stare* did you want something velvet?
Yes, I do! I need a oh wow that truck just ran off the road! Cool! Where was I? *thinking*
.
Nope, I got nothing. Was it a lemonade? No. A potato? No. Now I’m blank.
Where am I?
On Failblog. Your name is WhoaNellie.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… it’s all coming back.
Whew, I thought we lost you there for a minute…
Lost who…where? *vacuous look*
Wha?
P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney! That’s where I’m going!
This comment is full of win.
…and fin.
Fishes unite!
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming swimming swimming
What do we do we swim, swim, swim!
Okay, I’m thinking of something orange, and it’s small…
Like a hot kiss on the end of a wet fist?
And my hubby is currently about an hour south of you in Idahell.
OMG – whatever possessed him to do that?!?
He loves it there. Freak. LOL! His best friend is from there and moved back last year. So he’s there for a week visiting.
.
I hope he doesn’t apply for a job or anything. My happy tail is not moving somewhere that gets that much snow!
Well, norther of here is beautiful, even with the snow – it’s kinda worth it, I think. But souther of here is a bit dismal, depending on where souther…
He’s near the area that had the big forest fire a couple of years ago.
.
Way to rural for me. I like a nice city/town with about 50,000 people.
Having lived in both small towns (current is about 25,000) and cities (Los Angeles, Chicago, Portland), I think the best thing is to have a home in each
I love my 5 minute commute.
I miss the city.
WAAH!!
Idaho actually doesn’t get that much snow. It’s not like Buffalo or anything. The winters tend to be fairly dry, compared to much of the country (like where I live). The air is dry too. I remember people from the coast would visit out there and get nosebleeds because they weren’t used to the dry air. But the perk is, very few bugs!
Pfft – how do you explain that over 3 feet of white stuff in my yard this last winter?
True, it was more than usual, but the further north you get the more there is…
I lived about as far north as you can get. Moscow and Cour d’Alene don’t get much on average. It’s all relative, I guess. The northeast is worse.
Yes, gotta admit, you guys got walloped good this year!!
I’m blank too. Failblog seems so other-worldly today. The universe is just not right. I blame LEILA.
*Gloweres at Leila for being the cause of all problems*
You need to work on that. You can’t expect those to work right off.
Teach him the right way Avis. Let the pro do her thing! I didn’t feel a thing when he glowered @ me.
I’m not gonna teach him! He tried again down a few threads btw.
Glowers are my shtick. Dragon has FOOOMs!!!! I have GLOWERs. He’s got to come up with his own “power”.
Point taken. Then we shall point and ridicule him!
We each need our own “power”?
Hmmm. I suppose I could unleash a monumental beer belch. But that just doesn’t seem very elegant.
I can throw a devastating haymaker!
Gotta make hay while the sun shines, eh Arthur?
If you prick me I bleed.
.
Hey AE, I left you an answer to your hairless ape question.
If you prick me, then I’m definitely sending off the wrong signals.
Thanks Marius, seen and replied!
i have to power to make uncomfortable silences…….
I got the powah!
.
It’s gettin, it’s gettin, it’s gettin kinda hectic.
I ♥ that song!!!!
By the power of Grey Skull!!!!
You can’t teach that, it’s genetic.
LEILA, weren't you the one who challenged Avis in Glower contest?Yes. It’s not over. Avis and I have scheduling conflicts. I left a message for her that I will have my people call her people to set something up. Why?
Are you sure that's a good idea? Especially after what happened last time...I don’t remember what happened last time … If you haven’t notice, I have changed a LOT.
*tosses a ‘d’ up*
I did notice your new meat-loving tendencies. I have an ad in front of me for people suffering from memory loss, interested?Nah. I am good. Who are you again?
I noticed!
*squeeze!*
Um…wait. What were we talking about?
Are there like special glower magnifying glasses I can buy?
No.
I got that from the greatest Simpsons Episode of all time. “Last exit to Springfield. It’s hillarious when Mr burns starts rhyming like Dr. Suess.
“Their flower power is no match for my glower power!!”
What? *puts Bambi’s Momma leg down and wipes dripping blood from mouth* What did I do?
Found love, apparently!
Give me that!!
*grabs for deer leg*
Hey! I am not done with that.
Oooof! ergh!! Gimme!!
*yanks loose from LEILA’s death-grip and tosses leg into bukkit*
Time to confuse you.
You ate bambi’s mother, you have tested eating methods on a deer. Therefore you have tested on animals, and since you are against that, you must punish yourself as you punish others, which I believe was being a carnivore and eating the. Therefore you must now eat yourself.
Demonstrate on yourself and I will.
I cannot. I wasn’t the one to violate a Leila-law. So I don’t have to take a sentence.
I’ve tried, but I’m not that flexible.
Do yoga once a week. It will make you flexible. Very flexible.
velvet … I know …
*types this note with her toes while legs are on her back*
I think he’s splitting hares. Thumper will not be amused.
Deer Avis:
I couldn’t agree more.
Sincerely,
WN
Seriously, that took me longer than it should have.
It’s just that you have been strange since you started eating meat. For instance, you could have killed the deer before you starting eating it.
*notices deer screaming as Leila devours flesh*
*bludgens Bambi’s Momma over the head with a rock* I am sorry, I couldn’t hear you over that little b*tch’s cries …. You were saying…?
*runs franticaly away from what I am now dubbing “Zombie Leila”*
Are you attempting reverse psychology?
I am just hungry … that’s all.
And notice how she placed the severed head on the table, with eyes open and staring pitifully out into space?
*puts a silk scarf on severed head covering eyes* Sheesh … you have a weak stomach Brewski.
Is LEILA an acronym like ENIAC or SHIELD?
‘cuz that would be COOL…
Lately Eating Insane Large Animals ?
I don’t discriminate … I eat them all. Bring me a chinchilla. Fire pit is ready.
Perhaps the Los Angeles branch of Law Enforcement International?
REJECTED!
Lady Executive: International Laugh Assoc. ?
DrB: your suggestion will be put in the consideration pile.
Lycanthrope Erupting In Late Afternoon?
Explains the bloodlust I guess.
Lubing Engineer In Lower Areas?
Lost Everything In Los Angeles?
My suggestion is shot down by a female – I retain my perfect record.
You are being too hard on yourself.
Heeee!
*squeeze Starfish* Say, are you edible?
Loves to Eat Innocent Loving Animals?
*squeeze Leila* Uh, yes if you like sushi. Why do you ask?
*looks through thread and notices Leila is now a carnivore*
We taste bad and have lots of mercury.
*slaps Leila*
No eating of the friends of Fail Blog!!!
You are more than welcome to eat the tasty trolls though…
They taste a bit gamey, though…use lots of salt.
*is NOT a game hen!*
So you’re a hen who’s not a ‘goer’?
An example of the cure being worse than the disease?
5th!
What disease?
Swine flu!
Now with BaconLube.
Now it is…
*insert your guesses here*
Swine flew – when pigs fly.
I ♥ BaconLube! As a matter of fact … I am going to marry BaconLube and have little BaconLubies – which I will eat.
I OBJECT!!!!!!!!
OVERULED!!!!!
VETOED!!!
SPINDLED, FOLDED, & MUTILATED!!!!!
*Shreds a tear*
OVERRULED THE VETO OF THE OVERRULING OF THE OBJECTING, what now!
Hah!
Huh?
Heh.
Wha?
Who?
Why?When?
Hummmmmmmmmm….
I see your Hummmmmmmmmm and raise you an octave.
But the cure is the disease.The disease is the cure.
Hi, I am here for the memory help…
Here’s your bill.
That’s the kind of patient you can bill every month for the same service. Me likey.
Yes, yes Mooks…you agreed to two at a time last visit.
I’ve gotta start writing these things down.
Shush now. It’s time for the session. MoooOOOMMIN! Ready??!?
*waits*
Maybe he’s fluffing?
MOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooMIN?
?
Good, you’re here..Dr, you may begin.
Oh WHAT? Not again
Everything is just how you like it, Sir. The gibbon is still in the cupboard.
Is the Princess still in the closet?
Are you lot monkeying around again?
Well foop is nitpicking down there V V
AND apologized… *feels foopid*
Meh. No sorries. *squeeze!*
(haha and it made sense)
*nitpicks*
I ape to agree with you.
Must refresh…. *looks at shoes*
I thought that was how you reload.
?
I usually smell my armpit.
Arcade light gun game reference. Fire the ‘gun’ off-screen (usually downward) to reload.
I tried to reply to jam. I failed.
That has to be the funniest mis-messaging ever.
Now that I re-read it: Yes!
Plus CWR wasn’t even surprised by my way of reloading. Hehehe!
Just come back and laughed again.
*sigh*
No, He just accepted it.
Genius deadpan delivery there.
Thanks, y’all!
*feels much better*
*runs around and squeeeeeeeeeezes everyone in thread*
Dammit! I miss all the best laughs.
Fortunately, they’re still here so you can come back to them later!
*snorkroffle*
Did anyone else think of “A Fish Called Wanda” when Arthur smelled his armpit to reload??
Note to self, Mookie is evil.
It’s spelled L-A-W-Y-E-R not E-V-I-L
In French it’s spelled D-E-M-O-C-R-A-T-I-C.
WIN
That was my first inclination but I decided to generalize it.
McFail, haven’t seen you around these here parts lately – how’s thangs?
Not bad. I haven’t been ’round these parts first because I was busy at work and then because I had my wisdom teeth removed late last week and was pretty much outta commission for a while.
Didn’t realize how difficult it was to type without your wisdom teeth, eh counselor?
Can’t get the strangest picture out of my head now.
*doesn’t dare elaborate*
Yikes.
Well, glad you’re back
Even if you’re slightly less wise
*ba dum tish*
Thats a win in my book…
No fare, I have not had a change to read your book so you have me at a loss.
Don’t bother it’s long winded and the protagonist is a A**hole
I thought that ** was Vonnegut code for having 2 anuses…?
This has bothered me for quite some time now and I can no longer resist saying so. The use of the word ‘win’ when proposing that a fail isn’t a fail. It is an off-key, out-of-kilter choice. It makes me wince every time someone writes it.
“Win” is the opposite of “lose.” You win a contest, a game, a match, a race, etc…..or you lose it.
The word “succeed/success” is the opposite of fail. You fail at doing something, achieving something…or you fail at it.
p.s. This is so nitpicky and I truly am sorry you are the recipient of this feeble little rant wrapped in an an(a)emic comment.
No problem I’m glad I could assist you with your rant…
*or you succeed
…then again, I probably just proved my own point.
If I could only remember what it was . . .
i’m pretty sure the ad meant to say that as a pun
Huch that joke is a bit mad. Don’t you think?
Who is this “Huch” of whom you speak?
Isn’t he Tom’s friend?
Scott & Huch?
Sarsky and Huch?
Is the t in the r?
Turner and Huch?
Had what?
That indefineable “it”
Holy Christ, that’s worse than the swine flu.
Losing it is actually worse than having it, though.
Your not suppose to talk about it.
I can’t remember what to do with it.
It won’t fit in my locker.
It’s a given, that.
It’s one of those “the more you take away the bigger it gets” kind of scenarios.
Don’t mind me. I’m just sitting here, minding my own business, waiting for the next fail. This one is wa-a-a-a-a-a-y too puddleducked.
They also taught fish to breathe water. Not terribly impressive. Also, admitting to kidnapping? Not terribly smart.
“We took a young woman…” Kidnapping.
Maybe, but she doesn’t remember it.
Still…kidnapping.
irony win
definately
You have a fault in your genes.
He also has A wrinkle in his ironying!
That seemed out of sequence for you Admiral.
It will make you quake in your boots.
It’s Leila’s plate shift that has me worried!
The fissure on her plate, too?
Yes, I (too) heard the fish are on her plate.
All women have a fault in their jeans when wearing denim pants.
So they did nothing?
Hi, doctor. I’m here to see you about…wait..why am I here again? Who are you? Where am I? Who am I?
*Cue Gilderoy Lockheart*
You’re standing in a room.
In front of you is a table with an apple on it.
There’s man with a banner standing in the corner.
Take three steps forward and put the apple in your satchel.
If you want to talk to the man with the banner, go to page 21.
If you want to eat the apple, go to page 45.
If you want to throw the apple at the man with the banner, turn to page 77.
If you wish to have sexual relations with the apple, go straight to hell, do not pass go.
*uses fingers to wedge book open at pages 21 and 45 and reads page 77*
‘the man with the banner banishes you. You must start your quest again.’
*looks around*
GOOD JOB I WAS GOING TO CHOOSE PAGE 45 AndIWasJustCheckingWhatHappenedOnPage45HonestGuv.
You can’t even cheat properly can you?
Hope you’re proud of yourself.
Go sit in your corner and do some work.
Is this the wrong reply or do have multiple personalities?Yes.
Do have.
The Moomin is how the Moomin race refers to themselves – like the Borg. So the Moomin has multiple…Moomin.
But what is a group of them called? (like a gaggle of geese, a herd of sheep…)
A maze of Moomin?
I like, “A muzzle of Moomin.”
I was thinking along the lines of an “embrace of Moomin”, but I think I like “a crush of Moomin” better, for its slightly cartoonish imagery.
A moomin of Moomin would be the proper term, but the recent slang is a squeeeeze of Moomin. I wonder if this is how many so-called experts got their start? Making shit up? Not that I am.
No you
Oh man, I can’t tell you how many times that trick has saved me from reading the introduction again.
This is a knightmare.
No-ones gonna get the reference!
Choose your own quest books?
No, a program called Knightmare.
(clicky)
I always liked the end bit where they had to jump over the grid.
Who am I? Why am I here?
Your name is Stevo. You’re here to randomly be nice to people in the street. Now go.
This makes me smile.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
I say win. That’s an ad from Cedar Sinai Hospital. They’ve had a long-running campaign of some sweet headlines. This is a sweet headline, said the advertising copywriter. No, I didn’t write it.
Well, Cedar Sinai rocks, I gotta say
I remember that place!
Then they’re not doing their job properly.
*tastes headline*
Hmmm. Nope, not sweet. A little bitter actually.
I find it kind of sweet, but it tastes a bit gooish.
*smooch*
.
There’s some sugar for it.
Woo velvet!!
*SQUEEZE*
.
HAHAHAHA! How’s your morning shaping up so far?
*big SQUEEZE*
Oh, the usual. Need some coffee, I’m still asleep. Trying to motivate to do some… um… work, I think it’s called. How’s velvet today?
Getting there. The tree pollen count is almost gone, so I’m breathing and functioning much more normally. Grass pollen is high, but it doesn’t affect me like tree pollen.
.
Work is at a lull here today, so I’m just diddling around the office. I have a bunch of papers on my desk that make me look busy. I just rearrange them once an hour.
.
If you need help on something, send it to me!
*shuffles papers* heh heh
I’m glad I’m not allergic to tree pollen, I’m in tree central here in New England.
I’m jealous Velvet! It’s the grass pollen that gets me. My eyes are so itchy I can’t see
Nah, don’t be jealous. You were breathing fine while I was miserable, and now I’m breathing fine while you’re miserable. It’s even.
.
I just need to start my allergy meds on March 1 instead of waiting until I feel bad around the middle of March.
Ms B and velvet — I am a huge year-round allergy sufferer too. Did you guys read the report where there is a new operation for people who suffer from allergies? If I find it, I will provide the clickie. In a nutshell they said that after the procedure, people are able to live allergy free and their sense of smell improves greatly. I don’t like doctors much but I would consider something like that.
I’ve taken Drixoral since my mid-teens; only thing that works for me.
Now, thanks to the druggies, you can’t get it in the USA, and it costs a fortune buying it from Canada.
Gonna be interesting when my supply runs out…
At least you’re close to the Canada border.
.
And there’s always eBay!!
I’m confused. I thought you could get it. It’s just held behind the counter? Last time I had a cold, I went to the drug store and had to fill out some form, sign it, and then they pulled a box from the pharmacy. Pain in the a**. No prescription needed, but they do require ID.
Has that changed?
*tastes Brewski* Hmmm…
*glowers at Leila for her canabalistic tendencies*
RUN BREWSKI!!!
Oooh…a pretty bird!!! *licks lips*
You are a carnivore all the sudden, devouring everyone!
*puts onion ring over Leila’s mouth*
Now you’ll have some sense back.
*raises eyebrow*
*flies out of reach*
Why don’t you go attack Fruitcake? He won’t be missed.
She’s a carnivore. I’m a fruitcake. *fruit, not meat*
I’m in no danger of being eaten.
But I shall now make all of you happy and joyful and take to my leave.
Good day, everyone.
*breathes a sigh of relief*
I would still worry if I were you.
Then again, I’ve never met anyone who actually LIKES Fruitcake, so who knows?
I like fruitcake. At Christmas time we eat Panettone which is the traditional Italian fruitcake.
But do you like Fruitcake?
Fruitcake is cool…so, yes. I do. What did he do?
Never mind. It would take too long.
And for the record, the people I REALLY dislike, I simply ignore them.
Okie Dokie.
Don’t leave FSA! Staaaaaaaaaaaaay……………
Avis, that wasn’t very friendly!
LEILA needs to take some meds today. I suggest we sedate her and confine her to her quarters.
Birds have eyebrows?
*SNORK!*
hehehe…
Snork Count = 1
But you knew that
Sure. Haven’t you seen Woody Woodpecker? Or Tweety Bird? Eyebrows.
Ok. By the way – who are you folks and what are you doing on my… whatever this here is?
Shooping.
Ah man! I must be in the wrong place. I thought this was where I could do my shopping.
I wasn’t trying to be friendly.
You have a tranq. gun? ‘Cause I’m not getting that close to her.
You have to land at one point or another … I am patient. I will wait.
*scratches head*
Did I miss something?
That’s what trees are for.
*Scowls at Avis up in a tree*
Was that acceptable, I found a new way to furrow my brow at things?
*is impervious to scowls*
Feathers can be useful.
*is NOT impervious to Dragon FOOOMs!!*
No one is.
I was a tomboy – got scratches on my leg to prove it. I’ve climbed many trees.
*tries to squeeze Avis’ thigh to see how meaty it is* Hmmm…
I am a teeny tiny finch, for the record. I can land where you can’t climb.
*stays out of reach*
Nice try though.
*pops up next to Avis*
Whatcha doing up here?*disappears*
A little finch in a big punned?
Hahaha.
Brewski, why haven’t you put that amulet I gave you on LEILA yet?!
After fruitcake charged in, I totally forgot about it!!
*Looks at amulet*
Lets see… remind me how this thing works again?
Just hang it around her neck! It’ll make her susceptible to my spell!
Place it around her neck, it weakens the spirit to my spell!
Ok, Ok, I heard you the first time!
*quickly throws amulet around LEILA’s neck*
*runs far, far away*
Shia si vydraes os si kaer pandryl-kyr, Shandaster. Ai parn o or boli mosor eil tar o ailai si paedaer paer os si maelael caer thys eir aeraesoria.
LEILA?
You better start speaking some English GV. *starts knawing at his leg*
Damn! An English speaking spirit!
By the power of the great dragon-god, Bahamut. I draw
you out, vile spirit and cast you into the deepest depths
of the seven hells for all eternity!
*lays claws on LEILA’s brow*
A dragon performing an exorcism. This ought to be entertaining.
Hell? I will save you a seat my friend!! *knaws at GV’s nose*
BY THE FOUR WINDS OF FINALITY, DEATH, FAMINE, PESTILENCE AND WAR; HEAR MY COMMAND: REND THE UNNATURAL SOUL FROM THE BODY OF THIS GIRL AND BREAK IT BETWIXT THE FORCES OF LIGHT AND DARK, THEN CAST THE REMAINS TO BE GNAWED BY ALL THE LOWLIEST DAEMONS IN THE LOWER RUNGS OF DESPAIR AND CRUSH THOSE DAEMONS ONCE
*
THEIR MEAL IS ENDED! FOUL SHADE, KEN MY WORDS AND BEGONE FROM THIS PLACE!
*eyes glow with strange light, fire flows from corners of mouth*
*glad I don’t have a nose
*bored* Okay…yeah, yeah … unnatural soul … blah blah … begone … Let’s catch us a moo cow and feast. Let’s go.
Woohoo! cow meat!
*kills seven cows, eats five, offers remaining two to LEILA*
Still warm!
Pssst.. Leila, it’s “gnaw”.
Yes. G N A W … gnaw. TY Avis. …and yes, bukkit please.
*starts shaking paprika on gaynorvader* Shoot…amulet won’t have any affect on me.
Wait, I’ve got it!!
*covers gaynorvader in lettuce, broccoli, and salad oil*
Take that, you menace!!
Pffffttt! Nothing. Get that crap off gaynorvader … I am ready to dig in.
What the…
Not in front of the whole blog!!
*considers a “shags Brewski” joke*
*decides not to*
You are very wise, grasshopper.
Would’ve been fun, though.
*slowly backs away from thread* I don’t even want to know…
Here, I’ll walk with you…I’ve got to go for a bit *passes chicken wrap*.
Mmmmm…CHICKEN!!! Got any more?
I don’t think you want it after it has passed through his system…
Ew!
*giggles*
HI JUDY!!!!
WHY AM I ON THIS PAGE?
WHY AM I LOOKING ON THIS PICTURE?
WHY DO I WRITE THIS?
WHO THE @#°! AM I?
Why did I write that befor?
How did you get here?
Why do you know I’m here?
And where the hell am I?
*head explodes*
Why is it so messy in here?
Blue2thFairys head just exploded.
Omg! Blue2th! R U ok?
Blue? Blue? BLLLUUUUUUUEEEEEE!!!!
Retry? Yes/No
Dude, he’s over. :p
Yes
I’m still here.
Damn! Your the real SUPERHERO!
You’re just saying that ’cause he’s wearing his Shamwow like a cape again.
Alas, my trusty sidekick has returned. We shall battle the evil L-A-W-Y-E-R-S together! Dom-Dom-Dom!!
NEVER SAY THAT!!! OH MY GOD!!!
Do you know Chuck Norris?
Blue2thFairy owned him with 2 fingers, and 1 was broken!
Pffft, Chuck Norris aint got nothing on red matter.
Dear Mr. Blue.
Can I take a picture with you?
No? Why not?
*slap*
He was dead.:(
Roguelord is on the scene!
*adjusts domino mask*
*Superhero is loading his guns*
For those about to rock!…. FIRE!… we salute you!
Come, my young ward, there is crime to be stopped!
Burt Ward?
We did it.
Brain Fart.
Ouch, that hurts.
Worse, that smells.
Yes if your standing next to him. hahaha
Sorry! *cleans everything up*
*Try to build the puzzle*
By a long, dark tunnel underground. At the end, it was filled with chaos, panic and disorder.
FYI, he was in New Orleans.
Are you god?
What’s a “god”?
Your asking that for sure?
I used to be the god of dogs, feels great to be one.
Oi. I belive you. I suppose you like doggy style. haha
Perverse…but, yes
I was the god of dogs because I couldn’t stop running after the mailman..
And because I have done such incredible things for all dogs.
.
I lost my title because of acting like a troll with leetspeak..
Hahaha. Maybe I can help you to get your titel back?
Yes please help me out. Mail to:
Mibo11@hotmail.com
and tell him that a hairy man would never use leetspeak.
name the email: “hey, Michiel! lang niet gezien”
please..
Come on! Help me please.. I want to be the dog-god of dogs again!
Hahaha
Maybe I can help you to get your titel back?
I’m worse than a dog when it comes to footballs. I always wish they roll towards me so I can kick them back…
Hahaha.
*rolling forward to Arthur Eld with incredible speed*
*kicks superhero back*
Oops. Sorry, I thought you were a ball.
Damn! You’ve broken my nose.
*cry*
*shoops superhero’s nose*
There fixed.
*changes SH’s name to ’sissyhero’*
I need a status update on this superhero fellow, is he good or bad?*changes AE’s name to Arthur Smelled*
Oi NInja! what do mean with good or bad?
good or evil?
Stupid or smart?
Funny or not?
.
*squeeze*
He’s lawful neutral.
He’s new, BN.
*changes own name back*
Roguelord, how can you say that???!!!
I LOVED YOU!!!! I REALLY DID!
Who else is new here?
I’m on that page since…4 hours?
I’ll stay, I’m sorry.
Well let me tell you something, new guy. Never be a troll. Never say 'First. Always be friendly to the good people here. If you do this, we will like you and maybe tell you how to get an avatar.Good boy…
Who’s a good boy? who’s a good boy? yesssshh you’re a good boy!
Ok now SIT!
LIE DOWN!
ROLL OVER!
JUMP!
FLOAT!
STAY!
Your message is photoshopped.
@Blog Ninja
I don’t see the reason to say “first” on a picture. (there is none?)
I’m friendly, I’m funny.;)
I hope you will. Even if my english is not the best, it’s a
foreign language for me. I hope it wont be a problem.
Sounds like a plan.It’s my plan. First I’ll get control over failblog and then…I fail the whole world. I’m evil
You'll have me to reckon with. Unless of course we join forces.
Blog listen to me, we can have everything! YESSSHH EVERYTHING
*ahem*
You’ll get control over WHAT?
THE WHOLE WORLD!
The world is not enough.
Oh, um...*clears throat*...hi, Avis. We were just atlking about uhh...what do think about the global economy?The plan in that comment got reality because he posted that particular comment.
Uh-huh. Global economy? OK. Sure.
Oh. I thought he said “globally con me”. I was going to sell him a subprime-mortgage oceanfront property in Switzerland and throw in a free Ford Pinto (just pay shipping and handling of $49,999,999.99)!
DEAL!
Excellent… Heh, heh… No more off-brand Pop-Tarts for me.
from now on you will get pooptards and fartnuggets.
Do you want a McChicken Vagina with that?
Lord knows there’ll be flies with that (even if he didn’t order them).
I was thinking, what if McDonalds sold Rocky Mountain Oysters? Would they be called McNuts?*smiles at foop for the literary reference*
I played football (soccer) for two years starting when I was 6. Even after that little time playing and ten years not playing, I will STILL reflexively kick any football, basketball, or beach ball that comes my way.
You kicked every balls? Oh damn, lucky I am that I don’t live
in the same city as you
Nope, just a canadian fruitcake. :3
So tell me, how the hell can a canadian fruitcake have the answer to this
questions?
AND WHAT IS A FRUITCAKE?
here’s what a fruitcake is. *clicky*
*hide-his-eyes*
“For other uses, see Fruitcake (disambiguation).” Hehe
Good idea.
I think that’s supposed to be New Jersey…
Nope, it’s Chicago.
“The police are not here to create disorder, they’re here to preserve disorder.”
~Richard Daley
That sounds about right.
A big sandwich?
Don’t eat me!
Psst – your line is: ‘Don’t eat me, Bro!’ Trust me, it’s a funnier read.
Yea, I’m sorry i forgot my part!
DON’T EAT ME, BROTHAAA! PLEASE!!
O.k. take 3 you don’t say BROTHAAA you say bro’ like the real o.g. street wise hoodlums do!
I was actually referring to “Don’t taze me, Bro!”
Back to OldsQl?
PIXZL! I C IT! LOZL! PHOT0SHOZP!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!
Now we’ve had that continue with commenting.
Nice avatar.
Thank you!
Hairy…what do you think you’re doing? *pulls hairy by the ear and puts him in a corner* Now stay here and think about what you have done.
I was upset, for not being FURST!… Sorry, can I get out of this lousy corner now?
I don’t know, can you?
I can, with LEILA’s permission..
I will just spread my wings and leave.. Can’t wait for my dead Leila to give me permission..
I thought ‘my dead Liela’ was the name of a band…
When are they coming in concert?!
Will there be free Sham-wows? They should always be provided when someone’s coming in concert. (Wait, did you mean simultaneous orga…um, nevermind…)
Our office is conveniently located in the ministry of truth, right next to the ministry of love building. Good Luck
Hi, my name is O’Brien. Would you like to join the Brotherhood? XD
Hi O’Brien, I have been telling your children for months that your a spy. Expect a letter in the mail..*thugs at your door start knocking*
O’Brien! Give Leno his job back!
“Well, we totally cured your memory loss problem.”
“You cured my what???”
“Exactly”
Your memory problem is completely gone.
Memory what?
You see?
I remember everything.
What did I just say?
Ah, right that makes everything crystal clea-huh who are you?!
She forgot about her memory but at least she remembered to mow the lawn on her failbike
its funny because she has has a crapy memory!
Her memory’s like a crepe?
She must be french.
no it sucks so she cant remember that she has a memory problem.
If I can’t go home now I might get suicidal! My work is boring!! Please, somebody! Save me!
.
Superhero?! where are you when we need you..?
You are at work so soon after THAT surgery? Are you a masochist?
He even skated! Some people never learn…
I did learn today, switch varial heelflips!
But my surgery was 1,5 week ago.. And i hate doing nothing, so don’t blame me!
Masochist?
Does that mean he.. he.. lives in Massachusetts?!
Oh man, I pity the fool.
the drug is made from ecolsme from dead babies
You’re testing that now, huh? =/
Home-made drugs for sale, 70% dead babies!
Does that come with an extra virgin baby oil, sir?
No, those are out of stock.. We’ve got baconlube if you want..
There is the ho-made sauce though.
…with BaconLube!
-
And who is the ho who made the sauce?
It’s a reference to a long ago Fail.
I thought you died alone, a long long time ago.♫
I just registered here aaaaaaaaaaaand… I think I like you guys already.
Ironic as xd
OK, what’s going on here? Where’s the new fail?
I demand to see a manager!
It’s not the right time for a new fail. Be patient, young padawan.
Hee!
search your fellings brewski
Brewski! You really need to stop felling all these trees! Don’t you know they’re becoming extinct?!?!?!
♫ Fellings… Nothing more than, fellings! ♫
♪♫♪Whoa, whoa, whoa, fellings!♫♪♫
O.K. my workday is over see you tomorrow my dear failers!
BYE!!!!!!!!
Toodles!
*waves*
B-bye
WHO ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE!?
(te he he! Morning all! Got into Law School! (finally))
good for you, not that it concerns us, but good for you
It does. So ssssssht.
Morningafternoon! I thought you were a lawyer already? Or do you teach?
I’m just a liability paralegal at the moment… *hates it so he is glad to be moving on*
Congrats, Mal!!
Back to the life of a student, preparing to join the ranks of the most joked-about profession on the planet!
*realizes that sounded kinda negative*
Seriously, that’s great. There’s nothing better than getting out of a dead-end job.
*thinks about doing the same*
Danka!
I think he’s a paralegal. Basically does all the research and behind the scenes work, and gets none of the credit.
*Extra Squeeze*
*squeezes back*
Yay!!! We should celebrate!
*SQUEEZE*
Would you like a froofy drink?
do i want to know what “froofy” is?
*SQUEEZE*
I’ll take what ever you’re having!
*gives Malicite a strawberry daiquiri garnished with a black berry, a strawberry and an orange slice, and an tiny umbrella. In a big fancy glass.
*tosses in an asterisk at the end of that post*
*grabs the asterisk and drops it into his daiquiri*
Cheers!
Heh, you look a little silly holding that glass.
By the way, I think new regulations require the calorie count to be posted on the side of the glass.
When did that become law? Do they have to also post the rest of the nutrition al info?
er… no. True story… Bert Grant of Yakima Brewing (WA state) printed nutritional info on some of their beers. This greatly angered the BATF, who then relentlessly harrassed the brewery. He eventually relented and removed the nutritional info. ^^^ clickie for story.
Also true story: MA is passing a law that requires all chain restaurants to post calorie count next to menu items. In letters as big as the name of the item itself. New signs will be made for all the fast food joints.
My sentiments exactly.
And those signs for the fast food joints are going to have to be ginormous! If they want to get all that type to fit AND still be readable from a reasonable distance.
Wow…the BATF are a serious bunch of **** suckers.
This article made me sad in pants.
I love celebrations!
*tosses confetti in the air*
I’ll take one of those froofy drinks, please.
Congrats Malicite!!!!
*hands Ms B a froofy drink*
Careful, they’re a mite strong today.
Thanks!
*sluuuuuurrp*
Strong is good. It’s been one of those weeks.
You misspelled “roofie”
YAY!! I want some legal advice please.
Find a better attorney then I’ll be
Thanks! Exactly what I wanted to hear.
Congratulations!
*squeeze*
Congrats, I think. What type of law are you going into?
I bet its criminal law, the shades says it all.
Mal, that is absolutely wonderful! Congrats! and a *happyhappyjumpforjoyhug*
Mr. Moomin, Red and Swell, thank you.
Freckley- Anything but product/premises liability.
What the hell is product/premises liability lols?
Anyways, grats man, was it hard?
The LSATS are like the SATs with a boat load of crack…the rest was tons of paper work and money.
Product/Premises liability is… person A walks into a store. The store has a cooler in the back that malfunctions and leaks. Person A falls and sues. That kinda stuff.
Like Plankton sued mr. Crab for falling on his wet floor?
Psh, sounds booring.
Congrats Mal.
*pats on back*
*squeeze!*
Better late than never… CONGRATS MAL!!!
*squeeze*
new day, new fail. and the wheels on the bus go round and round
BYE ALL!!!!!!! I GOT TO GO NOW!!!!! and what is “froofy”?!?!!?!?!
*waves*
b-bye!
lolxxx..
*Comes in, randomly squeezes everybody and forgets what he was doing*
*blank stare*
*squeezes*
You’ve been away a bit haven’t you?
Who is he?
And who are you?
I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.
College took a man with mild autism and made him wish to avoid human contact for the rest of his life. (and I’m not even done yet)
*also registers on the autism scale*
*is vaguely unsurprised* quite a large spectrum isn’t it?
Yup. It sure is.
Aspergers (sp?) by any chance?
Not exactly. It’s more like a very high functioning Aspergers. Clickie my name and it takes you to my blog. In some of the posts I talk about the neurological disease I was born with. For some reason, I have the hardest time explaining my situation.
That may be because language is in general a lousy way to store information, if it weren’t necessary to convey it language wouldn’t exist. I hear some people actually think in language to make it easier to use. Never liked that proposition myself, but to each their own. Interesting blog post, crazy what people will do to try to get away. *understands the irony of saying this on failblog*
But the weird thing is I’m GOOD at language! It’s the executive function stuff that trips me up!
Well, language is a less complete way of storing info, one used to a more complete way would have the tools necessary to use the “downgrade”
I tend to think in pictures and emotions if that’s what you mean. It’s really numbers and body-language that go right over my head.
When I read novels, it’s kind of like watching a movie in my head. I forget I’m reading sometimes.
It’s a cool thing to have isn’t it? No book required really, just memories. I tend to treat is as portable entertainment myself. Makes long drives a lot easier
. Like that time I had to drive home from TX because American Airlines are stupid.
I wouldn’t want to do that while driving (I really wouldn’t want to drive period) but it works for passengers very well. Not just memories, but daydreams too. It makes train rides just fine.
That doesn’t sound too difficult. -_-
I'm finally done with all my finals!Hooray!
*throws confetti*
*gives ninja friendly slap on back*
Time to party then!! There are froofy drinks being offered up there if you want one.
WooHoo! Doesn’t it feel great? I remember those days.
*sighs nostalgically*
If only it did... I spent too much time on Fail Blog, and it was reflected in my grades.tough break. What degree are you going for?
Fortunately, I'm just a high school student. I'm taking all my classes at the local community college.I I hope the girl on the bike remembers which way to wipe! Grrrrosss! Ahhhh.
im sorry i forgot, what was the question?
Back to front or front to back…that is the question.
Fair thee well fair bloggers.
Leaving right before the last fail of the day?
I think it’s a rather clever play on words, personally. *shrug*
And there she goes, straight into the next fail.
Good thing she won’t remember the awful fall she’s about to have.
Wow, that HAS to be some type of paradox :O
>.< My head hurts from that sign!
Oops. I forgot not to post here
Can anyone tell me why this clever advertising and obvious play on words is a fail? Does it have to do with the “we” that is pointed out, or the lady on the bike?
It are haz to do with quantam mechomochanics. Something about penut butter, dogs, a video camraz. If youz have any more’s questions plz email/fax/phone/carrier pigeon/pony express/poke my face @ mort.gov.fail Thank you!
The program works like a charm!
I are not find funny pictomoture…to manyz commentz everywherez… I are like FAIL BLOG. ^_^
E Ihoā Atua,
O ngā iwi mātou rā;
Āta whakarongona,
Me aroha noa;
Kia hua ko te pai
Kia tau to ata whai;
Manaakitia mai
Aotearoa
What’s so Funny about this? I forgot.
01010010100010101011101110100010001010110110110110110110110110111011010010110101010101010010000101000010
Very funny !!
Pretty sure they were aware of the play-on words.
i think this is a win
It’s not a fail at all. It’s clearly a deliberately witty advertisement. Shouldn’t be on here.
Agreed. It’s witty, but the people commenting on this are the same Youtube comments, so don’t expect much.
Huh? I have a headache and I can no longer understand what we are talking about.
#23
This is a FAIL fail.
Surely this is actually just a joke slogan playing on the fact that they help people with memory loss and so they “forget” they had it.
I just happened to see this one in Popular Science some time ago…
If amnesia got alzheimers, would it forget how to not remember?
Pun, you guys. So a win in my book.
did she die?
Last! haa! I got it!
Suckers..
and I like that woman..w/o memory
Ok I Admit it I Did It!
Do I have memory loss? What’s my name?
this is THE most hilarious fail i have ever seen on this site. it took me about an extra half second to understand it, but it is hilarious!
Gah!
*nudges comment up to nest*