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Cheezburger Network Blog
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Cheezburger Network Blog
How about a song? Anyone feel like singing today?
♪ I want to ride my bicycle, I want to…. whooops!
I got a bike you can ride it if you want, it’s got a basket and a bell to make it look good. (Or something, at least it’s early Pink Floyd
)
DOT >Splat!<
Ah, thank you! I feel much better already.
Dang, hate it when that happens.
When what happens? Every single time your bike gets ripped apart on the middle?
That, and also when I eat a juicy tomato and it squirts all over my white shirt.
Oh, is THAT what they’re calling it these days?
I’m assuming it was a beefsteak.
*turns cherry red*
Sorry, MRN.
That’s just plum silly. Your comment could be read in a roma-ntic light.
*turns the light down low*
Brandy? Wine?
I was thinking something about “cherry”,
but I don’t want to go there just now.
Good. Otherwise I’d have to bust your stones.
Ah…talking about the heirloom family jewels, are you?
*smooooch*
Eating a tomato? I OBJECT!
No, “I” is the subject. “Tomato” is the object.
Is yours inherited from the class Fruit or Vegetable?
I object to your object-oriented humor!!
No more Smalltalk from you about that!
*sips some Java*
*Wonders if there can be message passing between the two currently active computer pun runs.*
Be careful or you will be type cast.
Grammar-WIN!!!
Poor grammar there, it should be “I am the subject”.
There’s no ‘I’ in ‘Tomato… It must be a trap!
It was a meat-tomato. Is that ok?
A Beefsteak tomato?
♪ Bicycle, bicycle, FAILcycle… ♪
I hate when my nuts back off, even just a little bit.
♪Well I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I’ll need some information first.
Just the basic facts.
Can you show me where it hurts?♫
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
You’re lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I cant explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons
Now I’ve got that feeling once again
I can’t explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am
I have become comfortably numb
O.K.
Just a little pin prick
There’ll be no more aaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick
Can you stand up?
I do believe it’s working, good
That’ll keep you going through the show
Come on it’s time to go.
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying
When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown
The dream is gone
And I have become
Comfortably numb.
*kick ass solo*
*grabs guitar*
*performs the kick ass solo*
*sits back and enjoys*
*takes guitar away*
*breaks into rousing Hendrix version of the theme from Twin Peaks*
♪…I can ride my bike with no handle bars,
no handle bars, no handle bars ♪
I WIN
Gonna take your Mama out all night yeah, we’ll show her what it’s all about,
We’ll get her jacked up off some cheap champagne and let the good times all roll out!
Folks, we’ve got a winner!
Congratulations, MRN, you’ve just won this wonderful prize! Show her what she’s won, Blogmonster!
Didn’t we just see this fail? Except in the city instead of the woods?
Same fail, they used a green screen.
Awesome! I want to see the version where he jumps over the Snake River canyon!
Oh we don’t have that version, but the Godzilla and giant ants version is being edited as we speak.
All those made-in-China bicycles… it’s gonna be everywhere soon…
Bike Fail! Coming soon to a place near you!Is that the Queen song MRN?
@ Noconspiracy: Yes.
@ Judy: ♂ (same sex as the avatar)
S’OK, it’s not clear, and I purposely ducked the issue when Leila brought it up several days ago. To me, it’s obvious, but hey, I’m on this end of the keyboard (or that end from your perspective.)
I knew, too.
Hi, Failbloggers!
*SQUEEZE*
Ono, how did Judy get MRN’s gender confused?
*SQUEEZE*
Christ, you know it ain’t easy,
You know how hard it can be. ♫
Well, now she knows how hard YOU can be.
Oooh, that was bad. *smacks self*
*squeezes Admiral*
See, I told you Judy. We do need a better system to identify genders. LOL *looking for own gender right now*
But WHY do we need to identify or authenticate genders here?
Something fun to do in my spare time.
You make me nervous. You know that, right?
Please tell me why? I am curious.
Just a… feeling.
Hmmm…interesting. All I am is just words on a monitor. I wonder how you get a feeling about that.
It can be amazing what words can incite.
I can certainly see that w/books but I learned a while ago, working for a large corporation, that I cannot take a tone of an email that comes across my desk too seriously. You know how sometimes it sounds like someone is berating you and in reality you find that they have poor writing skills or they don’t quite know how to express themselves in writing.
See? And I was attempting to sound mysterious and deep up there.
LOL. I am sorry.
*Pokes head in*
Seems we must be over expressive and very descriptive in order to get our proper meanings across.
*Pulls away from the conversation.*
*offers Thesaurus in case it’s needed*
*photocopies Thesaurus and gives out copies*
What’s another word for “Thesaurus”?
Thathtingthathasallthewordsinitthatmeanthesamethingastheotherwords.
Now you’re calling her pig-like?
Hm, is my comment dead?
I’m getting a pulse, but it’s weak…
..no, it’s gone.
*prepares to tell his family and friends about the death of Noconspiracy’s comment*
Headline in NY Times:
“No comment”
I’ll have to cut out the entry in the obiter dictum section of tomorrow’s paper.
obiter dictum? I thought FB filtered out such obscenities!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
Is it just my ore made I a laeghing FAIL
♪I can land my bike with no front wheel
with no front wheel
with no front wheel♪
I believe it’s called a “unicycle”. He needs more practice.
Actually, it’s now called two unicycles.
♪ Ridin’ dirty, I was ridin’ dirty…
Sweet, 2 unicycles!
Pedal on, pedal on, pedal on for miles, pedal on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9Enm3xUQs4&feature=channel_page
Karl likes this.
Paris Hilton:
i can ride my bike with no handebars, no handebars, no handebars
DOT ORG!
You can hear it during the slow-motion replay!
All I hear is BLLOOAAARRHHHHGGHAAAHHAAARREEYOOOOUUUOOOKAAAYY?
me too!
Wow, we think alike. We should hang out.
How did this get here? Nesting fail.
Huh. My pc must be tired today
Where was it supposed to go?
To Narnia I guess?
Charlie? Is that you?
Found it! Clicky!
That was so……addictive. I watched three episodes before I remembered I was at work! I like….Charlie!
I watched it. I thought about what I watched and I just have this to say:
If you scroll down to other offerings in the series there’s one that runs backwards. It has a happier ending.
There are three of them!? I only knew of the one! Sweet!
He found his kidney!!!!
Can I have it?
No. In other news…
Is FB completely out of imaginative fail videos? It seems I watch them only to see who powered it.
I waited for a loooong time (20 secs) on purpose to not-fail
The quality of bikes these days is just disturbing.The lack of “DOT ORG” is disturbing
The lack of the lightning bolt is disturbing.
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
*feels disturbance in the force*
I find the disturbance in the force disturbing.
I feel your findings and find your feelings equally disturbing.
oooooooooh that tickles!!
I feel that my findings of the feelings of the tickles of WN make me feel that I find tickles disturbing.
*tickles WN but only to see how meaty he is* Get your minds out of the gutter people!!
*slaps Leila again*
I thought I told you this, but listen carefully this time. There is no eating Fail Blog friends!
If you are that hungry for flesh, try the trolls.
Dammit Ms B! Again??? I don’t like trolls and I don’t want to eat them either.
Eating your friends will leave you alone with the trolls.
Good point! I believe I need to wake up with a different attitude tomorrow. New day / New me.
Whew!
LOL *squeeze*
*cautious squeeze, checking first for any hidden forks*
I can wait till tomorrow if you wish.
*Floating out-of-body, so Leila can’t touch this*
*snork*
*forces the disturbance further along*
*listens to Disturbed while forced to have feelings*
In Soviet Tatooine the force feels you.
In Soviet Russia, the with may force you!
Oooh! Bad touch!
The lack of a win is disturbing.The presence of fail is somewhat calming, in my opinion. The lack of win equals a fail
The lack of Pie is disturbing…
*Looks for Judy*
I know what will cheer you up! It’s PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME, PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! Whey-ye, whey-ye
HA HA HA! You remembered!
It’s over here, on the table. One Granny
CatFlapSmith apple pie, fresh out of the oven!SQUEEEEEEEE!
*brings vanilla ice cream*
This pie smells funny. I think I’ll pass. Thanks though!
I find you sense of smell disturbing.
*Dishes up the pie*
Brewski…want ice cream on yours?
DOT SALMONELLA!!
Yes!! Thanks.
*sniff*
Smells okay to me, Ms B. Did I miss something?
*munch munch*
I fink Ms B was shniffin the bukkit!
Pssst! *whispers* I think Judy’s pulling a fast one on you. Those aren’t the apples you think they are!
*stops chewing…vacant look.*
*shrugs….keeps eating.*
Yeah, I forgot something….
*whisper* I’m going commando today.
*shifty eyed look.*
*smirks*
Ah, heck, that’s just a normal Thursday!
*eyes pie*
Damn. Now I’m all pie-eyed.
Don’t worry, all – the pie is perfectly fine! Honest!
Just regular old apples, fresh-picked at the grocery store.
I command Boobie to put some underwear on. JEEBUS!!! *averts eyes*
But what better way to authenticate gender!
I LOVE commando Thursdays!
Oh. You are right MRN.
Did sumone say boobie?
I don’t know who sumone is.
Yes?
*eyes leila’s new name*
….Whew!
I haven’t made my rounds Dragon. For instance, there is a pending inquisition in regards to your methods of FOOOOOMing / FFFFFFFFOOOMing and how you obtained the power to FOOOOM. Nothing serious really. You will be served in due time. LOL
Ooh, goody! I’ll be served toasted leila on a silver platter?
The *FOOOM!* just is, and it’s a very handy tool for making problems go away.
*waggles eyebrows in a very significant fashion*
*is really curious as to just how LEILA thinks she best Dragonwriter*
*ahem* “how LEILA thinks she CAN best Dragonwriter”
Bukkit please!
TeeHee … come on Avis, no one is infallible nor invincible. Besides, it’s a simple inquisition, not a challenge.
*impressed by how Dragon waggles eyebrows*
You found the “can”, you don’t need the bukkit. *snork*
I never said she was either. But she can best anyone that comes HERE, no question.
*Snickers*
I eat inquisitions for breakfast.
*burp*
Oo! And *Snickers* for dessert!
Thanks, Boobie!
Ew! Inquisitions for breakfast?
Crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside!
No charge.
Avis, I wish I could tell you that I am here to BEST anyone (don’t even know what that means). Not that interested. I just like to have fun which is why most of everyone here comes to this place. Barring the occasional troll, who gets chewed and spat in no time, everyone has been really fun to play with here.
None of us are here to best anyone (look it up), but you seemed to be implying that you were interested in dragon-steaks. And most of what I say is in jest, don’t take me TOO seriously.
*boobs LEILA’s nose*
Silly head! Don’t take it too seriously!
Avis, I left you message waaaaaaaaaaaay up there about words and tone and stuff. I know you are joking…I hope you know that I am too.
…and OW! Ms B, you’ve slapped me twice and boobed my nose today. I am going to need some makeup to cover it up. LOL
Alright enough! We haven’t had drinks in at least a couple hours here!!
*opens the bar*
*sets out some beers and fruity drinks on the bartop*
*toasts*
To FAILblog!!
To FAILblog!
To Fail Blog!!
L’chaim!
*feels very touchy-feely today*
Wow LEILA, I didn’t realize I was so physical today. My apolgies.
*SQUEEZE*
SALUD!
*has to go now, has things she SHOULD be doing*
*pouts*
Tah-tah!
Bye!
Salute’!
To the blog containing fails, and to those who power the fails, and to those who perform the fails, and … what was I saying?
*Drinks deeply*
It’s okay Ms B … *squeeze*
Hee…! Don’t worry, guys, I just figured everyone was joking.
*raises glass*
*clinks ‘n’ drinks*
I’d stay and drink, but I’m the menu today. Gotta go!
Am I too late? Did I miss the festivities?
I think we both did.
*parties anyway*
Whoo-hoo! Failblog, FTW!!!
The joys of working the midnight shift…
*joins Sidhe’s party*
Morning/evening all.
Gotta work, can’t party.
*joins the party*
I’ll play
.
How long’s the shift tonight Crow?
*begs for ice cream*
*Scoops up ice cream*
Want some pie with this?
*slurps*
No thanks, maybe later! But save some for me, please.. Please?
Wait a minute… It was Brewski who brought the cyber-ice cream. Did you steal it?
*Innocent grin*
*forgiving dignity*
No problem, it’s just cyber ice cream. Tastes like proxy settings. Or maybe like chicken.
If you want cookies with that, you’ll need cache.
(Good one, DW!)
I’ll have to browse(r) around for some.
All the ice cream melted in my root beer float. I’ll ask the server to refresh.
Your ice cream melted? Did the chips synch, or are they floating in the root beer?
.
(Wow! Your pun with the word “server” hit both my old and new careers.)
There’s nothing I like better than waking up in the morning to find fresh cookies and a hot cup of java on my desktop.
Surely a cookie and coffee splattered computer is a bit messy?
Not everyone favors coffee. Jam, for example, has a tea bios.
Some of us still believe in the freedom of Assembly, you know…
That is a BASIC right in many countries.
Hm. I give this pun-run a C++.
SORRY! Sorry…I have a hard time getting out of the habit of grading things at the end of the semester.
Well, at least we pas(cal)ed.
I’m going to have to Pas(cal) on this run. Ask Ada about it.
Love what you’ve done with the thread guys, but it’s a touch visually basic – needs more red(hat).
*brings Queen cream*
The lack of the trailer guy’s voice: “FAIL BLOG!” is disturbing.
Hm, I just realised it does not say “trailer park guy” up there.
…the video cut out before the lightning strike.
Exactly.
Of all the times to have lost our intro…
Yeah, that bike could have used a few bolts.
Not to mention a “DOT ORG!!”
Thats what I was gonna say…
Should have stuck to trampoline jumping.
Or creek jumping.
Or creep jumping
Or creek jumping.
Uh, I mean, creel humping.
Meek monkey
Or meal bunching
Deal munching
Seal punching?
Feel judging?
Peel rushing.
Heal brushing.
Thread shushing.
Or grief dumping.
*takes a grief dump*
.
*wonders how GCF is going*
Should have left the mower in the front.
Yep.
Woods was gettin’ a bit out o’ control, vegetation-wise.
Now you can ride your bike, mow the lawn AND crush your precious jewels, all at the same time! Introducing: *da-ta-ra-ta-ta-daa* The fail bike!
I blame Leial for going carnivorous on us.
What? What is all this blaming LEILA caca?
Hi LEILA!
Blame…blame? *Hides previous post*
No one’s blaming you for anything.
I distinctly heard her blame Leial. Not LEILA.
Oh, then no harm done.
You misspelled ‘ham’, chicken.
Hey, I didnt know bikes could do the splits!
Watch the video...they can't.They can, but not on purpose
Well, it can do the split. . .
Good point.Well, now he needs to get his wheels a-lined.
How would trying harder have prevented this outcome?
A stronger sense of self preservation might have helped.
Maybe if he tried harder to borrow someone elses bike instead of his mom’s he would have been okay.
Maybe if he would have tried harder to go back to sleep that morning….
Maybe, Maybe.
This is weird – that’s almost the exact comment I was going to put there, but got distracted here at work. Uh…thanks for finishing that for me….
*shivers*
You mean distracted by Charlie.
Hee!
Yowch!
Woosh!
Pow!
Blam!
Pew pew!
QQ!
Isuzu
*FOOOOOOOM*
*Whirring as the Universe restarts*
Choof! (??)
*sign, sign, pass*
ZORK!
Blarrghh!
Oh Blurg!
AHHHHHH!!!! A BLARRGHH MONSTER!!!
*comes for you*
BLAAAAARRGHHH!
*Runs away and looks for a place to hide but can’t find a place*
HEEEEEEELP!!!
*proves that I’m too great for you and continues the success*
BLAAAARRGHHH!
*flexes*
*cowers*
*waits in fetal position for inevitable demise*
*pilots army helicopter over Chaz and rescues him from clutches of Achwel*
*flies into sunset*
Thank you Mr. Bond! I thought I was done for!
*Gives BondFan a martini as a token of gratitude*
*banishes BondFan from my premises for all eternity*
I shall return, I shall retuuuuuuuuuuuuurn…
*turns into blue glowing vapour and vanishes*
Hey…! Who took the ROFLcopter out for a joyride??
*sneaks into ROFLcopter while no one is watching and takes off*
Bye Suckers!!! SOI SOI SOI SOI-SOISOISOIsoisoisoi
Whut?
Twisted is nominated for comment of the fail.
ZORB!
*gets tissues ready in case Dilly sees*
Poit!
Shoop!
Shoobie Doo-Wop!
Shoop da Whoop!
ShooBeDooBeDooo!!
Do you get even stranger in the night?
Mmmmmmm…why do you ask MRN?
Well, ShooBeDooBeDooo sounded very Sinatra-like, almost as if from the song “Strangers in the Night”.
But… let’s pursue your question: Why do you ask why I ask?
Why ask why MRN?
-
Ooooooh…..Strangers in the night … I do vaguely remember the song. I have the tune in my head now.
-
I thought you asked me that because of the new me.
That was the deeper reason.
Who let the penguins in here?
Sorry, I forgot they know where the spare key is.
Sigh… someone sent the Penguin Dissolving Mat off to the cleaners again, didn’t they…
That’ll leave a mark!
what the hell?!?
did he even survive!?!?!?!?!
he looks like he broke his: neck, back, skull, “body in general”, and of course, his bike.
That's what I was wondering. How do not end up paralyzed from that?*reaches for bukkit*
I've been missing 'you's all day.Hey youse guys!
I can tell you from experience, it hurts but not permanently.
So your story had a happy endo?
A few scars, and a lots of people doing my work for a couple of days. Yeah I’d say so.
Starfish, are you really full of mercury or are you just saying that? Hmmm…?
It depends. Would the presence of mercury deter you from eating me?
*waits for the answer with broken thermometer that looks like a boys hoo hoo*
You broke Mairie de Verrieres’ thermometer?
Had to. Leila is looking at me like I’m a tuna roll.
I will remove you from my menu … for now.
Damn. It is feast or famine with these stupid apostrophes.
*tosses apostrophe up*
to where?
nvm
To boys, to make it “boy’s” possessive.
Doing a front flip on dirt doesn’t kill you. He’ll be fine.
And whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
He won’t even need 1/4 of his ass shaved after that one.
Not necessarily. (clickie)Thnx 4 that. My nu fav website by the way.
“There are no stupid questions but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots”
best quote ever!!
Been my fave company since their (very) early days.
Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.
Hi WhoaNellie! Stand up and slowly turn all the way around for me…please?
Okeedokeesmokee.
Hey, they promised they would cut out the intro!
*ZAPS Aja*
DOT ORG!!!
What do you know? My remote DOT ORG! system is working perfectly! I don’t even have to lift a finger anymore!
They promised to cut the OLD intro. This is the NEW intro.
Just like here in the UK, where they promised to change OLD Labour into NEW Labour.
♪ Meet the new boss,
Same as the old boss. ♪
(Cue CSI Miami intro.)
New crap for everyone!
Yaaay! Now there’s nothing that I want for christmas anymore, now that I have got NEW crap! Wow, thanks, GI José! Hey, you kids wanna buy some gum, or cotton candy, or a stuffed animal? Or what about an inflatable mallet! This is fun! You can hit your friend on the head with it! But don’t hit him on the head with it!
*takes a shot*
New crap for everyone! Isn’t that the motto for the economic stimulus package?
Failblog failed?
nvm
the “dot org” intro.
Oh sheep!
What the cluck?
How em-baaaa-rassing
*tosses self an r*
Wow, how’d I do that?
OMG magic?
Nah…let’s just get the flock out of here.
*makes himself herd*
At first glance I read that as “hard”.
Ewe silly head!
No, I’ve somehow been getting all the “hard” knocks on this fail.
It isn’t hard to do around here.
I herd that!!
Oh fork!
Ewe sheep!
Oh donkey!
D’oh monkey!
Go funky!
Funky Monkey
*gets down*
*makes monkey sounds*
*feels incredibly cool*
Mo’ CHUNKY!
*drools* mmmm Chunky Munky.
Heeerrree comes lamb!
That guy needs a mic. A mic. He needs a microphone… I mean he needs a bike.
“I got a bike you can ride it if you want, it’s got a basket and a bell to make it look good.”
I’ve got a mouse but he hasnt got a house i dont know why i call him gerald
Welcome to wal mart, we have a nice selection of premium temporary bikes on sale.
One time use?
Hey, they’re made on Fail Blog, what can you expect?
Failblog is now Walmart’s supplier? Well I Never!
Why can’t you but one-time use cameras with one-time use money?
Thank you! How much?
About the price of one trip to the hospital.
It’s really sad when this happens to a person who is riding on a smooth, paved road. . . a sign he is too fat to ride a bike. . .
… Or a fat-bottomed girl, to go back to the song at the top of the fail.
Or that he needs a stronger bike.
Not a bigger boat?
Only if there are landsharks about.
I’m on a boat.
I’m on a lark.
Or loan sharks. I hear those are amphibious.
The word faceplant comes to mind.
*remembers the good ol’ days*
*smiles nostalgically*
*facepalms*
*feels good*
Oh did you say faceplant? I meant facepalm. Much better. Try it!
*promotes product*
Hi! Vince here! Let me be your spokesperson! I’ll sell so many facepalms you won’t be able to keep up!
Leave the selling up to Billy Mays!
Leave it to Billy Mays!
I FAILed at replying!
No, you grow faceplants at the beach.
Wouldn’t it have been awesome if it was Vince Offer on that bike? I’d love to see that smug idiot get what’s coming to him.
Being a little hard on yourself, eh?
Heee!! He said……nevermind.
*Introduces Vince Offer to a judge*
“Your honor? Offer. Offer? Your honor…”
Pleasure to meet you, your honor.
Now if I could just have a minute of your time to talk about the ShamWow.
Your honor will be saying Wow! every time you use it!
*puts on judge wig*
*bangs gavel*
ORDER! ORDER!
Now, would the prosection please explain why they are offering to sell me some product?
Yes your honor, operators are standing by who would be happy to take your order.
Offer denied! Arrest all operators associated with Vince Offer!
*bangs gavel*
Would the jury please give their verdict?
The jury is not ready to slap-chop together a verdict, your honor. We paid for a half hour and intend to use every minute of it.
Indeed. Please, carry on with your 30 minutes of intense thinking.
*bangs gavel*
Security! The prosection is waving his products in front of my face and I’m finding it rather annoying.
**FOOOM!!*s products*
Better?
*stares as burnt Vince Offer and his now ash ShamWows crumple to the floor*
Well, at least he’s stopped.
Your honor, the jury would like to cite habeas corpus, but there’s no corpus left to habeas.
*bangs gavel*
Ow, my finger!
*lays down gavel cautiously*
I digress. The defendant is found guilty.
*orders cleaners to sweep ash into bin*
That is not a bin.
Nor is it a door.
Dude, he is in jail for punching a hooker…….I think he’s has been punished enough.
Is that the shamwow dude? If so, didn’t he say the hooker bit his lip and wouldn’t let go?
I’m tired of this BS rumor! Damn bitch bit my lip and wouldn’t let go, so I had to hit her! If you would bother to check the public record before flinging accusations around you’d see that the judge threw the case out!
*Want to reply, but biting my lip for now…*
You can let go now.
*bangs gavel*
Guilty. 10 years in Sing Sing on a count of assault .
*Throws out case… of ShamWows.*
I believe he was kicked out of the Church of Scientology. Now THAT’S embarrassing and quite the punishment!
TOTALLY nailed it.
Hi it’s Vince with FacePalm(tm)!
Perfect for hiding your ugly mug!
I’ll take one. How much is it?
Just two easy payments of you smacking your forehead with your hand!
I want one too!XD
Hi, it’s Vince with HookerPunch ™!
Perfect for when that ugly mug tries to bite your tongue!
Hi, it’s vince with HookerPunch V1.2™ !
Perfect for when this ugly black dude tries to give you HIV!
Bike Rule #2: Look for weaknesses such as rust before you start riding.
Bike Rule #1: never buy ur ride off ebay for 19.99.
Bike Rule #3: SAFETY!!!!!
Today’s rules have been brought to you by:
The letter “B”!
Bike Rule #4: Don’t get in the way of Dragon and Admiral riding tandem.
Bike Rule #5: PROFIT!
And the number “42″ !
That’s what happens if you try those sort of stunts with one of those bicycle-shaped pieces of scrap metal they sell at Wally World. If you want to do serious mountain biking or BMX, invest in a proper bicycle.
I’m on my iPhone so this is an absolute notemare to comment. But anyways, was that dude Irish or something?
Must be nice to fail while on the go.
*wishes for an iPhone*
They are extremely awesome, the web browser isn’t the greatest though. It can’t really handle all these comments too well.
Still, I’d be able to at least SEE what’s going on while I travel! The train would be a LOT less boring!
yeah, it is pretty convenient. I don’t live in a city with trains so I don’t have to worry about that. I am actually at a friends house and he doesn’t have a computer. I took off work today, hehehe >:)
I mean Amtrak. I travel a few times a year. And I hate to fly.
Man, I never travel anywhere. I wish I could, I’ve always wanted to see a big city like Tokyo or new York. Then visit a tranquil place like a temple in japan to male up for the city, LOL.
I hate flying too, but do it all the time anyway. Ugh. My last 2 flights this year both got cancelled due to mechanical problems, so I got stranded overnight at the airport. Now I have lots of vouchers for discounts so I can get stranded in some airport again.
*switches l for a k up above*
I have never even been on a plane. I’ve heard it’s really cool though
No. It’s not.
That’s funny.
Indeed…wait…what are we talking about?
Avis (a bird) does not like to fly. That made me chuckle.
Oh…I’m slow I guess.
heh heh! I didn’t get it at first either, actually.
I believe I can fly.
I don’t believe I can spell my own name, tho’.
In planes. I hate to fly in planes.
Actually, given that I do not do so well with heights, I don’t think I’d do so well flying WITHOUT a plane!
It’s not the flying part that gets me. It’s the possibility of crashing. And the claustrophobic interiors of the planes.
It’s a lot less comfortable sitting outside the cabin, I’m afraid.
That, I’ll believe.
And it shows.
Ugh…nightmare. It actually autocorrected it to notemare.
It’s a notemare too!
I think my iphone autocorrect has down syndrome or something.
Solamente faltó que diga “dot org” ja ja ja!!
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Only fail that says ‘dot org.’ hahaha. I think. (Therefore I am? Whoo-hoo!)
Actually translates as “He just missed to say ‘dot.org’, ha ha ha”. Sorry, I was taken by my enthusiasm and posted in Spanish. That’s also because my English knowledge is lousy.
dang
Lol, *ooooh the chain came off*. No, it really didn’t.
xx
Why was the guys reaction so delayed?
What do you mean? I’d say he face-planted very promptly, no delays there! Gravity and all.
I was just fixing my bike yesterday. It needed a couple of new tires, and I tightened up the brakes. Now it rides real nice again.
Scorpioned !
FAIL!
What, here on Failblog? Are you serious? Next you’ll be telling me the Pope’s Catholic.
that’s what you get when you buy cheap Chinese crap at wall-mart……
Oh, sheeeeeeeeet!
*looks around*
What sheet? I don’t see anything even remotely resembling a blanket in the video.
The whole thing is a cover-up, I say!
antbody notice that the kid said “i can’t get up”? poor guy, hope he didn’t do any spinal damage with a fall like that causing him to hyperextend his neck. yikes!
Now he’s getting all the traction he needs.
Old fail alert: Alex just became the 14th person to solve the Object Group Fail.
There’s a solution to that confusing fail?! What is it?
All I can say is IN YOUR FACE, SUKA!
If my only exposure to bicycles was failblog, I’d have to assume that all bikes are designed to do this since all of them on failblog seem to.
Currently listening:
Queen – bicycle race.mp3 <– sitck it to this vid
Such great song….
Thats why you DONT buy anything from wall mart somone ends up badly hurt and SOL
What brand of bicycle was that? Is that a WallyWorld special?
now that….was some skillz
It could have ended much worse…
Goodness. Now that’s a shoddily-made bike.
Or a sturdily made ground.
SPORK!!!
*squeeeeeeeeze*
How have you been, toots?
…. aaaaand she’s gone in a flash!
*flashes past*
I’ve done something similar but never lost my front fork. I’ve seen similar vid’s but never seen the loss of a front fork.
Staged, perhaps?
Ouch.
“Oh sheet…”
Did he actually say that, or I misheard? It sounds funny as hell.
Hey, it was bound to happen sometime right?
E Ihoā Atua,
O ngā iwi mātou rā;
Āta whakarongona,
Me aroha noa;
Kia hua ko te pai
Kia tau to ata whai;
Manaakitia mai
Aotearoa
Good morning Failer Community.
Hello!
LOL. That very thing happened to me. Exactly like this! Don’t worry, it does not hurt *that* much. I was just a bit dizzy, and had to remove some gravel from my face afterwards. ^^
OMG… the f0ckin fork just broke… don’t do stunts with cheap bikes and without protection!! This kid is a pure kamikadze..
reactions fail. he didn’t say ‘oh shit’ until about 3 seconds after the jump bailed, the bike smashed and his mate got owned.
Anyone noticed how all bike stacks/fails are done without wearing helmets?
WOW… kan u say major fail that was so0o funny
I think the kid is explaining to the camera man why he didn’t clear the gap. To me it sounds like he says, “… the chain came off.” I think he was saying he couldn’t get enough speed because the chain came off somewhere in his run-up.
This is not a rider jump fail, but a front fork fail.
Made in cn?
Here comes Dan!
I love his Oh Shit!
I like how he’s hurt but explains that the chain broke lol
Holy crap, I know that kid. He lives down the street from me.
Oh, Sheet!
did he die?
oh sheet!
That’s gold!
Good to see some Aussie’s on the Failblog.
Represent. ha ha ha
TESCO cheap bike WIN!
“Oh sheet”
I lol’d
His headset was loose. If you’re jumping on a bike like that, at least keep it well maintained. That’s a 20 second fix that could’ve kept him in the hospital for quite awhile. And gotten him a pair of dentures.
oh sheeet……FAIL
LOL I like the way he waits like 2 years to realize the other guy got screwed by the bike
Forget something?