Note to counters: The incredibly important Snork Count requires actual snorks to occur before incrementing the Snork Counter. Your attempts to confuse the count are a FAIL.
That is all.
A Sylar is simply a misguided youth with mommy and daddy issues who has made some bad decisions in his life. Oh, and he steals other heroes’ powers by slicing open their skulls and studying their brains.
Hey, dw, after you’re done with Judy can I borrow that plunger for my bath sink?
.
And FSA, don’t even tell me you’ve never heard of computer viruses…
.
The boss is away this week, so everyone here thinks they are the boss. It’s gonna be a loooonnng week.
Whoa! I almost missed the show! Velvet, why didn’t you call me? *digs in bag for handful of dollar bills*
C’mon, Brewski, shake that money-maker!
*wolf whistle*
Whoa nellie! *sees WN* Oh, not you, I just… OK, ehrm.
Stop Right there! *scowls at Brewski* We only use powers for good! Great responsibility and whatnot…
Hey, falling off a log is not easy. You have to get on it first. Not to mention, how are the people here gonna find woods, to find the log, to climb on, to fall off of? They don’t know where the door is in their house which leads outside! I’m fully expecting a day when “outside” is a dangerous myth perpetuated by parents trying to get 40 somethings out of the basement…..
We called in a local pest control company last fall, when we were having trouble with somethings in our basement. It worked really well, just had it re-treated for the spring somethings. Can I get you their number?
Mal, according to an ideal weight calculator in iVillage, for you and assuming you are of medium frame, your weight should be 160-174lbs. I cracks me up how these websites can determine this so easily. Wow!
Men have it so easy. Why the hell is it also so easy for you guys to talk about your weight so openly. If you notice, none of the ladies have divulged their weight … such a sensitive subject.
Remember the movie “When Harry Met Sally”? Harry said men can’t be platonic friends with women they find attractive, because the “sex thing” gets in the way. The men always want to have sex with attractive women. So Sally asks, “So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?” And Harry replies, “No, you pretty much want to nail them too.”
Are you inferring that all men are pigs therefore the true swine flu carriers?
-
I never saw that movie but I am always reminded of the scene w/her yelling YES! YES! YES! @ a restaurant.
Brewski, my best friend is female. We had a relationship loooong ago, but stayed friends. We even lived together for two years some years after our relationship ended. No sex thing was in our friendships way. And she is very attractive.
I’m impressed Arthur!
I had a close female friend for many years. She flew out to visit once. Several drinks later, she started acting very friendly. She talked me into sleeping (literally) in the same bed with her, and then she grabbed my arm and put it around her. I didn’t do anything, but I have to admit it took every ounce of willpower I had to avoid it!!
Thanks, but there’s nothing to be impressed about. I simply don’t want to have sex with her. Same the other way round. We love eachother, but as friends. Might be because we had sex for three years, so now we’re through with that.
.
A good friend (male) has the same with his ex. They still live together, since… dunno… 10 years or something.
I don’t know why women feel that they can’t talk about their weight, but I know that it is true and just accept it. I know better than to ask a woman her weight. People come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. I understand that a lot of women feel a lot of pressure (both internal and external) to look a certain way, and are often dissatisfied with their appearance. I find this unfortunate. There are a lot more important things about a person than just their physical looks.
I wish someone would photoshop him. I can’t tell if he would be my type or not.
-
velvet, you do like them very skinny. I don’t like them rotund but I would think to have someone that skinny, I would be black and blue all over from too much bone bumping while doing the horizontal mambo.
*Sees Malicite crying*
What the heck?
*looks up*
Oh…Well, 190 is not 200, so yeah, that’s healthy.
By the way, is there anymore of that BaconLube popcorn fluffy had?
In all seriousness, Leila, I often call myself a “part time” vegetarian. I know lots of awesome vegetarian recipes. I have a few vegetarian cookbooks. Meat is okay as a seasoning, but I don’t usually go for a big slab of meat on a plate. And I often cook vegan meals for dinner.
Feel a little better???
As I said before, I used to work at a McDonalds. That meant about 4-5 times a week fast food, sometimes before and after work. I lost weight back then because I didn’t train.
Yeah, the more I exercise the more weight I gain (more muscle). When I’m the sloth I’ve been lately, I settle down to my normal weight. Most people look at me like I’m some freak or mutant when I explain that.
Malicite, Bored Paralegal and Supporter of the Anti-Troll Initiative says:
Wanna hear more, Mal? Even in my thin times my body has an acceptable shape (latissimus and breast muscles). The downside: It doesn’t matter how hard I train, I never have big muscles.
When I was in training I would eat literally until I almost got sick. Had to force myself. I started to hate eating. But it was the only way to bulk up for sports.
*butts in conversation*
I used to weigh about 180 lbs. and I was getting too heavy to get enough momentum to flip, so I had to stop exercising for a while.
My guess is that this is in the USA and the ramp was added after a lawsuit from the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act). It just takes one person to complain. Now there is a ramp but nobody can get in. ADA FAIL!
“Ada is a structured, statically typed, imperative, and object-oriented high-level computer programming language, extended from Pascal and other languages.”
This is in Cozumel Mexico on the main street, the sidewalk in front of the ramp is about 3 feet wide. If you rolled down this you would jet right out into one of the busiest roads in the city. This is a huge FAIL either in or out of the place.
Actually, this does NOT comply with ADA. The maximum slope for a ramp is 1:12 (In other words, if the ramp goes up 1 foot, it would have to be at least 12 feet long). So don’t blame this ramp on ADA.
So, I don’t see the fail. Just get a running start.
.
And besides… Hey! Who tagged my name with my gender!? Not Cool. I was pretending to be a girl, so people would forgive my sexual aggressiveness.
But if you go down it.. The frontwheels will block and you will fall out of your chair! that’s pretty dangerous! And when trying to get up.. You’ll probably fall over to the back. This thing is great for skateboarding though..
I think the owner of this shop had one too many fat people coming into the place on powerchairs, so he wanted to remind them that they can, in fact, walk.
Either that or he’s prejudiced against the disabled and doesn’t want them in his store, but he doesn’t want to appear that way.
Holy Shit!!! i know where that ramp is!! hahahahahaha ive seen it before but i didnt have a camera. that shit is like litterally a 45 degree angle lol. FAIL
hahaha i just decided to stop my finals studying to look at people failing and saw it… and that guy prolly came from the senior frogs down the street. he wasted for sure
I know exactly where this ramp is! It is in Cozumel, Mexico – I have a picture of the same ramp, and it is extremely steep! We joked that at least they met code and HAD a wheelchair ramp. I guess it was the thought that counted!
Arthur? I’d like you to read the comment I made on your question in the previous fail.
And tell me what you think here It took me like 20 minutes to get my story logical
Thanks,
Well evolution is never over. I didn’t say they are keeping their
fur forever… But hey.
.
Every living being has DNA, but not every living being has the same
DNA nor the mutations.
.
Some pigs are also naked, and there are types of dogs and cats
that are naked. So humans are not the only ones. And ‘naked’ is not the right word because everyone has hair, over their whole body, but not as much as it used to be.
.
Wounds start to itch because of the new cells, when alot of new cells grow it itches not sure why.. But I bet your balls where itchie when you started to grow pubes.
(sorry for being gross)
@Bald-ass Hairy
Google alopecia…it is a condition (probably hereditary)
which causes hair to fall out and not return. I know a woman
with the condition, and she has no hair anywhere…
no eyelashes, not even the tiny hairs that we have in our sinus passages.
I’ve seen a lot of things like this in China. While they are obviously useless for someone in a wheelchair they are still of considerable benefit to those pushing someone in a wheelchair. It’s a lot easier to get a wheelchair up a too-steep ramp than to get one up stairs.
it may have nothing to do with it, but who honestly cares? people just post up comments trying to be the funniest person on a site dedicated to FAILURE. so why not just add random crap that has absolutley nothing to do with what were supposed to talk about
I am NOT trying to be funniest – it’s who I am. I didn’t know it was a competition and frankly my dear, I don’t give … Wait, what are we talking about?
We must destroy the pigs before they destroy us! Bring on the swine flu! Bring on the BaconLube! Pull out all of the stops!!! Failure is not an option!
*gets lightheaded from all this panic and shouting*
*sits down*
*wonders what got into me*
Well, time to leave for me. It was nice meeting everyone. Arthur, sorry if I offended, it was not meant to. Bye Bye!!! *zooms down ramp and into the sunset*
He bobbed by yesterday and said he was going to be very busy this week getting ready for Ireland. He hopes to be by on Friday to say farewell before his escapades.
*squeeze*
Nah…it’s an able bodied person using a convenience reserved for the handicapped. Don’t believe anything anyone else tells you…especially about the cake!
Well, if you tilt your head to the side a little, it doesn’t look quite so steep anymore! Or you could just tilt your computer monitor over on an angle.
holy crap! that is me! but i’ve never been to Coumel, Mexico. I really don’t remember where this was taken. Ziv: who are you, you want to find me on facebook?
It isn’t you its me, Ziv is my Hebrew name. I was in Mexico and my buddy took this pic after seeing this insane ramp. I am really not exaggerating on how steep it is. Those who have been there know how crazy it is. The best part is that if you rolled down it you would shoot out into one of the busiest streets in the city. And although I was at senior frogs earlier I was not wasted in this pic. Thanks for all the great comments!
Dude, no way. That looks exactly like me. right down to the black rainbow sandals that i’m wearing right now. and I’ve been there before, just not in Cozumel, Mexico.
Well, I think that it might have something to do with the extreme angle of the ramp built for wheelchair access. But what is even funnier to me is your confusion about it. hahaha
Oh my gosh, I know this is really mean but can’t you imagine someone in a wheelchair trying to go up the ramp but flipping over??? I really hope the person in my head didn’t get hurt…
Good morning!
Howdy! How’s your morning?
Clogged and stuffed. I caught fruitcake’s head cold.
How are you, V?
How does one catch a cold over the internet…?
You’d be surprised what you can catch over the internet….
Roger that!
* Snork! *
1
2?
Pick up the shoe.
3
4
3
Note to counters: The incredibly important Snork Count requires actual snorks to occur before incrementing the Snork Counter. Your attempts to confuse the count are a FAIL.
That is all.
Ah that’s what the count was for. It was missing the snork=
*snork*
Note: That was my first and last!
snorkcount++;
snorkcount/=friday;
Snork Count – Snork + 2 = 3
…And the official WN count begins…
And I was FIR……
…um…nevermind.
It’s a dirty job, but…
…you gotta do it?
but… beats using the snot rocket method?
*gets out the plunger*
Open wide!
*opens mouth wide*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA………
*peers in*
*turns pale*
This is why I could never be a doctor.
*faints*
Uh, hello, anybody? Help?
*removes plunger from Judy’s mouth*
There ya go… now take two aspirins and call me in the morning.
No! I meant, help for Dragon! She’s fainted!
Hey, you kids quit throwing Cheetos on her! Git!
*opens one eye*
*munch…*
*places shiny gold coin just out of Dragonwriter’s reach*
*settles back to watch*
*uses telekinetic powers to bring coin within reach*
*erases gaynorvader’s memory of the event*
*resists memory erasing*
*is mildly impressed by Dragonwriter’s psychic prowess*
That’s a good power, Dragon. I must have it.
Nice try, Sylar. :p
What’s a ‘Sylar’?
All throughout the Star Trek movie I kept pointing at the screen and going “EEEEEEEEEEEEE”
Never seen Heroes?
.
.
.
That’s okay, neither have I.
Nope, I don’t like watching TV, I’m too restless.
A Sylar is simply a misguided youth with mommy and daddy issues who has made some bad decisions in his life. Oh, and he steals other heroes’ powers by slicing open their skulls and studying their brains.
Nice, I like a good old fashioned dragon battle.
Battle? What battle?
The Battle of the Bulge. I’m winning.
I have NO idea. But I’ll sit down and watch one.
*munches popcorn*
Oooh! A dragon battle? Where?
No one wins in War. Unless you can completely destroy your enemy without being injured at all. Then I have no problem with it
Dunno! Do you think it will start soon?
*offers popcorn*
*takes handful*
I sure hope so, my roast pigs are getting cold.
*offers roast pig on a stick*
Ooh, nummy! Thanks!
*munchity-munchy-munch*
*Throws ticket on ground in disgust*
I got screwed again!! Yet another battle-bust!!
Where’s the excitement??
*shows Brewski bust*
Well, I guess that answers the gender question…
haha.. nice save there, Dragon2.
*lends some color to Dragon’s comment*
*smooch!*
Wake up!
*blinks*
I had the most amazing dream! You were there…and fluffy, and Arthur, and velvet was there!
There’s no place like Failblog!
Hee! You look good in B&W, too, my pretty.
And my little dog, too!
*pats Kumquat*
I’m particularly fond of all her beautiful wickedness.
Hey, dw, after you’re done with Judy can I borrow that plunger for my bath sink?
.
And FSA, don’t even tell me you’ve never heard of computer viruses…
.
The boss is away this week, so everyone here thinks they are the boss. It’s gonna be a loooonnng week.
Oooh, that’s what you’re implying. I was in a whole different area of assumation.
velvet! I want that report on my desk first thing tomorrow morning! And get back to work!
Nice try, Brewski. Do that again and I’ll write you up.
.
Now put that Chippendale outfit on and do your job!
*digs in dresser for bowtie*
*puts on bowtie*
*turns on lights, music, and smoke machine*
*performs awkward dance moves*
Whoa! I almost missed the show! Velvet, why didn’t you call me? *digs in bag for handful of dollar bills*
C’mon, Brewski, shake that money-maker!
*wolf whistle*
Brewski is selling snow shovels?
*gyrates toward Judy’s seat*
*fails to notice edge of stage and crashes to the ground*
OW! Um, you didn’t see that…
*limps back to stage*
Aren’t plungers what trumpeters use to make odd musical sounds? Hope you wash it so the poor guy doesn’t get excretous in his spit valve.
‘morning Judy!
Morning, Leila. How goes the gender tagging?
For a minute, I thought that said “tender gagging” and I was upset.
I read that too. Wasn’t upset though.
gag me tender, gag me slow…
only elvis knows the real words to that song. he knows his intentions!
I have a few people who refuse to cooperate, other than that, I have identified a few.
I have been branded. Now I can roam free with out worry of losing my identity.
Please consider me identified.
IDENTITY ACCEPTED *thuds Nellie on forehead w stamp*
*collapses in a fully stamped heap*
*draws a mustache on Nellie*
*puts red lipstick and electric blue eye shadow on Nellie*
*Ties a red bow in WN’s hair*
WHA?!?
*sits up*
WN, my dear, you look mahvelous!!
Ooooh, pretty!
.
*takes picture of WN*
Wait…just a little mascara then he is ready to go.
Pretty Whoaman?
Pretty…something…
*curtsies*
here, can I have mine?
does anyone know or to the person who took this picture where it was taken?
Looks a lot like Vietnam to me
Now we’re the ones who are handicapped.
Extreme wheeeechiair ramp!
There’s a wheelchair half pipe across the street!
Works best with a turbo wheelchair.
with NOS injectors and a super charger, you could catch some air!
*gets lawn chair and bicycle tires, welder,duck tape bailing wire, and a coke bottle.*
*tosses up , while looking on Ebay for motor from a ‘72 Gremlin*
I pullout a…
RACE CARD!
3,2,1 GO!
*takes the lead*
*straps Lear Jet engine to wheelchair*
*eyes ramp*
*looks at WhoaNellie*
*pulls out bannana peel*
*puts it on ramp*
MUAHAHAHA!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
*incredible engine roar*
Having watched many Wile E. Coyote cartoons, I have a bad feeling about this.
Fair warning: This NEVER works for Wile E. Coyote.
In the USA, the “race card” is something that is always played from the bottom of the deck…
Indeed. And all too regularly in some circles.
I see you are MacGyver in disguise.
Somebody seriously needs to jump that ramp with a bike. Get the ol’ Schwinn out at try to renact ET.
Way too steep!
Nah! That’s what makes it exciting!
.
(glad your cold is dying)
Thanks. I’m feeling a lot better.
Obvious noob is obvious.
actually, I’m a noob, not FSA
Sez you.
well, I can be sure about one half of that statement
You’re not even sure about the percentage.
I AM NO LONGER SURE OF THE PERCENTAGE. Wow, this mind control stuff is crazy.
You will give Brewski $100.
*Searches wallet, under the matress, jacket pocket, and bank account* Sorry Master, but is there some other way that I can appease you?
Whoa nellie! *sees WN* Oh, not you, I just… OK, ehrm.
Stop Right there! *scowls at Brewski* We only use powers for good! Great responsibility and whatnot…
*performs vulcan mind meld with Olur*
Olur! What about that incident last summer? You don’t want me to tell all the nice people about that, do you?
Powers for evil? *gasps* That’s so shortsighted… It’s just not logical!
I hope that wheelchair is an automatic and not a stick shift!
Yes. Velvet noticed he’s missing an arm
What’s that in your avatar, Tophy?
A happy bird.
It’s a chicken being stuffed. Long story, haha. I’ll change it eventually.
Thought so… Better not Leila see it. She’ll have a hissy fit.
FIRST!!111!!!!
Your all loosers!
First fail, noob.
Loose FAIL as well.
Who let the fail loose? We’re supposed to keep a better eye on them!
B3nd 0v3r & I’ll show you “loose”
Not likely, Q.
*escorts Quijibo to top of cliff*
*pushes Quijibo over edge”
*dusts off hands*
*walks away*
*applauds WN* TY!!!!
Aw. Poor thing.
Don’t feel sorry for it, the fact that he has the grammar skill of a 1st grader is sad enough.
True. True.
1st!!!!!!!!………grader……dang
Nice!!!!!….save…there
much gratiousness
As opposed to tighters?
You know what they say about loosers and tighters…
No.
Righties and tighties, but lefties are loosey?
ARE, not and.
It’s too frikkin’ early.
*bukkits*
*squeeze*
*steals mailicite’s squeeze*
HEY!
*SQUEEZE!*
WHEEEEEE!!!!!
*POUNCE!!*
*Steals bukkit and gives Dragon more coffee*
Theng-kew.
*sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp*
Tightie Righties?
Damn! I was hoping you did.
Loosers are lively,
Tighters are tame?
I’m not loose!
…I’m just easy.
…like Sunday morning?
Like falling off a log!
Greased with BaconLube?
It’s okay, Leila…I’m not a vegetarian.
But BaconLube ruins the pig-flavour
That’s why we use honey.
Honey attracts fruit flies.
Fine, I’ll used VegiBaconLube.
Save a cow! Eat a vegetarian!
Other than this comment about not commenting, I refuse to comment on that sexually awkward statement.
I refuse to comment on your comment about that sexually awkward statement.
-
…and, oh how I wish I could erase it.
*giggles*
We usually do afterwards
*snork!*
Shocking. Just shocking.
BZZZZZZZZZZTTT!
Hey, falling off a log is not easy. You have to get on it first. Not to mention, how are the people here gonna find woods, to find the log, to climb on, to fall off of? They don’t know where the door is in their house which leads outside! I’m fully expecting a day when “outside” is a dangerous myth perpetuated by parents trying to get 40 somethings out of the basement…..
We called in a local pest control company last fall, when we were having trouble with somethings in our basement. It worked really well, just had it re-treated for the spring somethings. Can I get you their number?
Don’t you mean “You’re” all losers!?
No. It means: “I’m pathetic, look at me”.
Look at who, now?
The troll that said, quote…
“FIRST!!111!!!!
Your all loosers!”
That guy up there.
*facepalm*
*heavy sigh*
*commiserating look*
*satisfied smirk*
*takes ShamWow by the only clean corner, wipes smirk*
On your mark.
Get set.
Fail!
You misspelled *SPLAT!*
DOT ORG!
Hey! That dude’s not disabled!!!~
He’s missing an arm! Doesn’t that count? Especially on *this* ramp?
*blushes* Honey, why would he need an arm for *that* ramp?
To grab the rope so he can actually get up the ramp?
.
*squeeze*
You spliced that together nicely.
Yeah – he can’t walk on all fours if he’s only got three!
He’s being helpful. He invites the disabled to wheel over his back, which is easier than using the ramp.
(Good afternoon!)
Plus, he provides an obstacle course for the Special Olympics in his spare time
Wow! Is this for wheelchairs that you can take four wheeling in rough terrain? I mean WTF?
*takes out the U in four*
There, I did Hairy’s job for him!
It might be. It’s certain;y steep enough isn’t it?
*puts the U back in four*
*switches the ‘ ‘ with a – between four and wheeling*
*switches the ; with a l*
*Puts the lime in the coconut.*
*shakes it all up*
*pours it down everyone’s throats, one shot at a time*
Tank-u. Glug… Glug… Glug
Stop that!
-
Just re-write my whole sentence. You are confusing the hell outta me. *waits*
I simply changed the ‘for wheeling’ FSA created to ‘four-wheeling’. The third line was for FSA’s ‘certain;y’ correction.
.
*hands Leila a lemonade*
The thing is I saw that typo I made just a moment after I clicked post, but of course it was too late to change it.
That lemonade better have some rum in it velvet. I NEED IT!!!
There might be Brandy in the Fruitcake.
*eyes Fruitcake speculatively*
*takes a bit of Fruitcake* … Um…nope. I don’t taste it.
*bite*
*wonders what LEILA is trying to bite as Fruitcake left about 30mins ago*
No more ‘lemonade’ for me!
That’s certainly a good intentions fail.
Not really. High velocity is the key!
Going down would be fun.
Okay…I wrote that, then read it, then *SNORK!!*ed…and decided to keep it anyway.
…makes it easy to slide out too.
Getting in would be a challenge. I would image that someone would need help.
*highfive* You’re the speaker of many truths.
Thanks Dragon.
Now I have Love in an Elevator running through my head.
hehe… Living it up when I’m going down… WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Umm…quote… “Dat’ll keap ‘em owt!”.
Your keep them in. *wink*
Or, not your…*damns himself*
That owner is a collector?
Actually it’s an exit win.
wow, i could totally take flight in a wheel chair with that thing!!!
Hey! Hey! It’s the Monkees!
Shock the monkee!
♫ Shock the monkee ♫
*Dares anyone to do the Monkee*
*doing the Monkee* …so monkee, do you have a name?
*monkees around like a chimp off the old block*
…and people say we monkee around.
We’re too busy blogging, to put anybody down.
Hm, maybe not.
*blogs*
*puts the monkee down*
*shags it*
*smiles and waves*
QED.
Arthur!! It appears you are starting a nasty habit!
Wait, I am not sure how Arthur got hold of the monkee while I was the one who was shagging w it.
Spit roast?
What, Brewski? You and Marius asked me to do it. Okay, not specifically me, but I wanted to prove my multitasking abilities.
I said “do the MONKEE” not “DO the monkee”!
erm, “put down” means “insult”, or to speak badly about somebody.
Not to shag them!
Oh. Misunderstanding then. Well, at least it was fun!
That’s a sure fire way of catching AIDs young man!
I do have a name…my name is Bob…nice to meet you. I go by Bob, Monkee, BobtheMonkee, or Douchebag…whichever is easier!
*does the genuine monkee dance*
why yes…i do! My name is Bob. I go by Bob, Monkee, BobtheMonkee, or Douchebag. Whatever is easier for you!
*does the monkee dance*
Dude, you could totally get some serious air off that thing. Like, 3 feet at least. Gawd!
-Taylor
I mean
-Jose
Wow, just wow.
*walks away*
Shamwow?
Nope, Cillit BANG!
Don’t walk away. There might be some nice carnage here soon.
*hops on couch with bowl of popcorn, waiting for the show*
*brings margaritas*
*drinks one*
I guess you’re right.
*sits down*
Is that butter popcorn?
BaconLube popcorn.
I think I will pass on the popcorn, thanks.
I think I will eat some popcorn, thanks!
*nom* *nom*
what?
LEILA totally objects.
Totally and absolutely! But what about you?
I don’t have much on the objection of BaconLube. And I huess I’ll make everyone happy, as I have to go. Mabye I’ll be on tomorrow. Bye!
*squeezes again while removing the h and slipping in a g*
*isn’t too sure of FSA anymore* Friend or foe? Hmmm…
That’s not a fail. It’s so the handicapped can make a quick EXIT!!
Quick exit, long entrance… with more muscle work.
*mind in gutter* That shirt is way too loose. I can’t see his shape. His buns look okay though … Hmmm.
Just look at those smokin’ legs, man is he a babe or what?
Not my type. I like stick men. Six feet tall, 150 lbs, 30″ waist. *drool*
That emaciated! I’m 6′1…if I weighed that little I would probably die
That was me 30 years ago. Ichabod Crane.
Mal, according to an ideal weight calculator in iVillage, for you and assuming you are of medium frame, your weight should be 160-174lbs. I cracks me up how these websites can determine this so easily. Wow!
I’m 6′3″ and 218 pounds. Yes, I admit, I’m overweight. Food is just too good.
I mentioned this the other day, but my brother is 6′3″ and 140 sopping wet. And it’s not like he doesn’t eat! The man inhales food!
*grumble*
Life is so unfair!
Yeah, he’s older than me, and if you were to see us walking together down the street you would think I was older. That makes it even worse!
I eat like a horse, and still weigh the same I did in high school. 6′4″, 205 lbs.
(Sorry velvet, 34″ waist)
*ducks to avoid thrown rocks*
Men have it so easy. Why the hell is it also so easy for you guys to talk about your weight so openly. If you notice, none of the ladies have divulged their weight … such a sensitive subject.
It’s easy because we just plain don’t care. It’s also why we don’t usually diet.
But you do care when the woman is overweight, no?
Remember the movie “When Harry Met Sally”? Harry said men can’t be platonic friends with women they find attractive, because the “sex thing” gets in the way. The men always want to have sex with attractive women. So Sally asks, “So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?” And Harry replies, “No, you pretty much want to nail them too.”
Are you inferring that all men are pigs therefore the true swine flu carriers?
-
I never saw that movie but I am always reminded of the scene w/her yelling YES! YES! YES! @ a restaurant.
Brewski, my best friend is female. We had a relationship loooong ago, but stayed friends. We even lived together for two years some years after our relationship ended. No sex thing was in our friendships way. And she is very attractive.
I’m impressed Arthur!
I had a close female friend for many years. She flew out to visit once. Several drinks later, she started acting very friendly. She talked me into sleeping (literally) in the same bed with her, and then she grabbed my arm and put it around her. I didn’t do anything, but I have to admit it took every ounce of willpower I had to avoid it!!
Oh, the comment jumped…
Just ignore me…
Cause it would have destroyed our friendship.
Even what happened put a damper on our relationship. Hard to explain.
Nice comment nesting jump!
Thanks, but there’s nothing to be impressed about. I simply don’t want to have sex with her. Same the other way round. We love eachother, but as friends. Might be because we had sex for three years, so now we’re through with that.
.
A good friend (male) has the same with his ex. They still live together, since… dunno… 10 years or something.
No, but you gals started on about what you like…the boys are just putting themselves out there, no?
Gals?
Like girls, excepts older.
Hmmm…
*lassos stray s*
I don’t know why women feel that they can’t talk about their weight, but I know that it is true and just accept it. I know better than to ask a woman her weight. People come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. I understand that a lot of women feel a lot of pressure (both internal and external) to look a certain way, and are often dissatisfied with their appearance. I find this unfortunate. There are a lot more important things about a person than just their physical looks.
(BTW, I’m 6′-0″ and weigh 165 lbs.)
I wish someone would photoshop him. I can’t tell if he would be my type or not.
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velvet, you do like them very skinny. I don’t like them rotund but I would think to have someone that skinny, I would be black and blue all over from too much bone bumping while doing the horizontal mambo.
You can never have too much bone bumping.
*Hides*
Marius said it!
.
Skinny men tend to be more flexible as well.
That’s true too. Plus, you don’t want to take a ride on blubber. I am just sayin…
I have trouble doing the horizontal mambo with a man who has better legs than I do, I like them to weigh a little more than I do.
Agreed WIK.
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Why is Maruis hiding?
bukkit please.
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Sorry … Marius
M
A
R
I
U
S
Marius
Ooooo! I have my own cheerleader?
.
I still feel uncomfortable making lewd comments around women.
Much appreciated but it’s not a PG blog … you could make a comment and try not to be so lurid. Go ahead, try it.
*hands Marius a margarita*
*Reaches out from under table and grabs Margarita*
Lo siento a señora!
Wtf…I am overweight at 190… *cries and goes on a diet*
*Sees Malicite crying*
What the heck?
*looks up*
Oh…Well, 190 is not 200, so yeah, that’s healthy.
By the way, is there anymore of that BaconLube popcorn fluffy had?
*sniff*
Thanks…
Don’t worry Mal…I don’t know who decided all these weighing standards. Don’t go on a diet. Not worth it.
Thank you Leila! *squeeze*
*goes off to eat some deepfried baby geese*
Mmm, can I have some of that?
*offers Mal some baby-seal skewers*
Oh yummy! Would you like some club soda with those seals?
Get it?? get it?? CLUB soda with the SEALS!! I crack myself up…
Reminds me of Serge, the Seal of Death.
We just love to get a rise out of you!
*squeeze!*
*slides Brewski some baby-seal skewers*
Awww Leila… *offers her some…salad?*
I seriously can’t think of any uber awesome vegetarian meals….and I am not even trying to be mean right now
In all seriousness, Leila, I often call myself a “part time” vegetarian. I know lots of awesome vegetarian recipes. I have a few vegetarian cookbooks. Meat is okay as a seasoning, but I don’t usually go for a big slab of meat on a plate. And I often cook vegan meals for dinner.
Feel a little better???
I’m allergic to most vegetables, so I do eats slabs of meat, but I’m a carnivore so it’s probably alright.
Brewski…I feel much better. Thanks.
In the winter I’m too lazy to train. I eat a lot, but don’t do too much sport. Yet I lose weight. Such on that!
Or suck on that. You decide.
Erm….
…naaaaaaaaaaah. Too easy.
Arthur? He’s very easy.
Fluffy! You and Arthur? That’s so sweet! He really does have a sensitive side, doesn’t he? And you – - you’re such a tease!
Be cute, you two!
Aw hell, I’m no good at snap decisions.
Stop, Drop, and Roll.
That’s how I train, or it’s when I’m having a seizure.
Crazy thing is, I ate well and trained all winter…in the bloody cold and everything. I think I actually gained weight.
*could use a ninja right now*
Turn around and ask. Chances are there are at least two ninjas stalking you now.
*turns around and looks*
Ninja? Here ninja ninja ninja!
As I said before, I used to work at a McDonalds. That meant about 4-5 times a week fast food, sometimes before and after work. I lost weight back then because I didn’t train.
Yeah, the more I exercise the more weight I gain (more muscle). When I’m the sloth I’ve been lately, I settle down to my normal weight. Most people look at me like I’m some freak or mutant when I explain that.
*looks at Brewski and Arthur with pure ENVY*
Wanna hear more, Mal? Even in my thin times my body has an acceptable shape (latissimus and breast muscles). The downside: It doesn’t matter how hard I train, I never have big muscles.
When I was in training I would eat literally until I almost got sick. Had to force myself. I started to hate eating. But it was the only way to bulk up for sports.
*butts in conversation*
I used to weigh about 180 lbs. and I was getting too heavy to get enough momentum to flip, so I had to stop exercising for a while.
You mean like your acrobat flip up on to a nested comment earlier?
Something like that.
5′-11″ @ 188 lbs. Thanks!
Eh, this is not so much of a fail, this is an exit as the doors open towards
the shop thingy, therefore this has to be an exit.
Good morning people.
My guess is that this is in the USA and the ramp was added after a lawsuit from the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act). It just takes one person to complain. Now there is a ramp but nobody can get in. ADA FAIL!
“Ada is a structured, statically typed, imperative, and object-oriented high-level computer programming language, extended from Pascal and other languages.”
“Primarily used in government programming”.
Not good for making battleships games.
Building codes enforcement has not been by yet. There is no sidewalk, so the front of the store has to be torn off and rebuilt 12 feet back.
Maybe ADA hasn’t visited … yet.
American Dental Association?
Lemming
Lemming
Lemming of the ADA
This is in Cozumel Mexico on the main street, the sidewalk in front of the ramp is about 3 feet wide. If you rolled down this you would jet right out into one of the busiest roads in the city. This is a huge FAIL either in or out of the place.
Actually, this does NOT comply with ADA. The maximum slope for a ramp is 1:12 (In other words, if the ramp goes up 1 foot, it would have to be at least 12 feet long). So don’t blame this ramp on ADA.
So, I don’t see the fail. Just get a running start.
.
And besides… Hey! Who tagged my name with my gender!? Not Cool. I was pretending to be a girl, so people would forgive my sexual aggressiveness.
a running start? for handicapped people?
A rolling start is more like it, I think
That was the joke. Glad you picked up on it.
Non-obvious humor fail! *makes fun of Dargus to hide his own shame*
Sarcasm is hard to convey without the use of emoticons, and I’m no good at them.
;(
I also am handicapped in this respect, and this ramp is too steep for me to push my wheelchair of internet inexperience up it.
But if you go down it.. The frontwheels will block and you will fall out of your chair! that’s pretty dangerous! And when trying to get up.. You’ll probably fall over to the back. This thing is great for skateboarding though..
SKATEBOARDING IS NOT A DISABILITY!!
(bumper sticker)
It is if you screw up too badly.
I want that sticker.
Isn’t your ass half hairless as it is?
Hey, Hairy, how are you? I’ve noticed you commenting today, but didn’t see you mentioning how things went last week. Recuperating nicely?
I think the owner of this shop had one too many fat people coming into the place on powerchairs, so he wanted to remind them that they can, in fact, walk.
Either that or he’s prejudiced against the disabled and doesn’t want them in his store, but he doesn’t want to appear that way.
oh that would be as funny as hell is hot
Um… what?
Oh, now I see. I feel pretty dumb now.
Holy Shit!!! i know where that ramp is!! hahahahahaha ive seen it before but i didnt have a camera. that shit is like litterally a 45 degree angle lol. FAIL
if any one is on vacation in cozumel, mexico (avoid the swine flu) the ramp is on that main shopping area.
Who needs GPS when we have JunkRaider! That’s so crazy that you saw this place…
That also suggests that the man in the picture is likely drunk…
true, but at least hes having a good time………..
true, but at least hes having a good time………..
true, but at least hes having a good time………..
Echo echo echo…
Hey…do you think he’s having a good time???
Hey…do you think he’s having a good time???
Hey…do you think he’s having a good time???
No.
Aww… they were having such a good time too.
*has a good time*
*poops the party*
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
RRRIIIIIIII-COLAAAAAAAA!
plus hes having a good time, you cant beat that
hahaha i just decided to stop my finals studying to look at people failing and saw it… and that guy prolly came from the senior frogs down the street. he wasted for sure
Oh, so we Americans have nothing to do with the high grade ramp. *sigh of relief*
I was so worried that the silly Euros were going to start being all sorts of mean to us “Yanks”
Ahem.
I said the “silly” Euros. Not the emotionally and linguistically sophisticated ones.
It’s too late Malkorth … just take your punishment.
*squeeze* I’m an eighth German? I love you Arthur? Oh well. *bends over*
*helps Malkorth up*
You’re doing good.
‘Yank’ your chain?
Ooooooooooooooooh…why, oh why did you say that? *hides*
Hey, this is my hiding spot!
Sorry! I will go elsewhere…
Try youtube. I noticed you powered a fail there.
Say what?
Basketball hoop fail
Sorry, I don’t speak sports.
You do now.
*goes back and puts up a sign* MARIUS IS HIDING RIGHT HERE
I know exactly where this ramp is! It is in Cozumel, Mexico – I have a picture of the same ramp, and it is extremely steep! We joked that at least they met code and HAD a wheelchair ramp. I guess it was the thought that counted!
Arthur? I’d like you to read the comment I made on your question in the previous fail.
It took me like 20 minutes to get my story logical 
And tell me what you think here
Thanks,
Seen and answered.
Lovely.
Truly beautiful.
This is my comment back:
Well evolution is never over. I didn’t say they are keeping their
fur forever… But hey.
.
Every living being has DNA, but not every living being has the same
DNA nor the mutations.
.
Some pigs are also naked, and there are types of dogs and cats
that are naked. So humans are not the only ones. And ‘naked’ is not the right word because everyone has hair, over their whole body, but not as much as it used to be.
.
Wounds start to itch because of the new cells, when alot of new cells grow it itches not sure why.. But I bet your balls where itchie when you started to grow pubes.
(sorry for being gross)
And I’m not sure about any of this shit
Well, don’t let evolution make a monkey out of you
You’re not ready for it?
Here, accept this lithium battery.
@Bald-ass Hairy
Google alopecia…it is a condition (probably hereditary)
which causes hair to fall out and not return. I know a woman
with the condition, and she has no hair anywhere…
no eyelashes, not even the tiny hairs that we have in our sinus passages.
sorry if i ask but u got 7 o’clock in the morning ?
Nope, we traded it to the Denver Broncos for a 3rd round pick and cash.
No. I need that card. I’ll trade you a Thorn Elemental and two Eternal Witnesses.
I have a Pikachu, what will you give me for that?
Uh, maybe a David Eckstein rookie card. I’ve got two of those.
Would you rather have my speeding ticket from last night? It’s a rare. Also, it says $104 on it. I think that’s how much it’s worth.
Is the Witness FNM? I’ll trade you an 8:37 in the AM for it.
I’ve seen a lot of things like this in China. While they are obviously useless for someone in a wheelchair they are still of considerable benefit to those pushing someone in a wheelchair. It’s a lot easier to get a wheelchair up a too-steep ramp than to get one up stairs.
maybe so, but if it were longer and i had a tobagen, it would be fun
it may have nothing to do with it, but who honestly cares? people just post up comments trying to be the funniest person on a site dedicated to FAILURE. so why not just add random crap that has absolutley nothing to do with what were supposed to talk about
Wait… We’re SUPPOSED to talk about something specific? Who says so? Why? And most importantly: When do I get paid?
I am NOT trying to be funniest – it’s who I am. I didn’t know it was a competition and frankly my dear, I don’t give … Wait, what are we talking about?
bunnies.
Bare back bunny riding the bucking funnies.
Don’t make me tell the funniest joke in the world again!
Joke warfare has been banned!
I dare you! I want to see if I am the funniest of all…
No LEILA, you don’t know of which you ask! That joke is too dangerous to be heard!
Are you not familiar with the perils of the funniest joke?
^^^clickie
BTW, Arthur, that clickie may not be safe for you. The joke is told in German, so you would actually understand it.
Ahh, I love MP! They are so funny!
Oi, so my work day is over.. See you tomorrow!
BYE!!!!!!!!!
Bye bye!
Hairy, that’s awfully selfish of you. JUST because your day is over, doesn’t mean you have to leave us. I feel so used.
…and abused!
…and cheap!
…and fearful that one day, due to the ravages of nuclear war, pigs will develop intelligence, rise up and destroy humankind.
We must destroy the pigs before they destroy us! Bring on the swine flu! Bring on the BaconLube! Pull out all of the stops!!! Failure is not an option!
*gets lightheaded from all this panic and shouting*
*sits down*
*wonders what got into me*
Well, time to leave for me. It was nice meeting everyone. Arthur, sorry if I offended, it was not meant to. Bye Bye!!! *zooms down ramp and into the sunset*
*summons Mr. Cuddles*
Nest fail?
Mr. Cuddles summoning fail…
*snickers*
Nah, I just realized I haven’t seen him around my lately…
And just what was cuddles doing around your “lately” anyway?
Hmmmm?
*is very much damning himself today*
AHEM!!!
*hands LEILA a cough sweet*
Mr Cuddles here…You rang?
*Squeeze*
Thanks, but you don’t feel right… *pokes*
Thanks anyway!
He bobbed by yesterday and said he was going to be very busy this week getting ready for Ireland. He hopes to be by on Friday to say farewell before his escapades.
*squeeze*
Well, I tried to be there for you.
-
What is it you poked me with exactly?
Leila: *blushes*
Mr. Moomin: Thank you kindly!
If you look closely, his ankle is buckling
*looks closely at avatar*
*doesn’t see anything*
BOO!
Hmm…I’m afraid I don’t get the fail. Is it because of how steep the ramp is?
Nah…it’s an able bodied person using a convenience reserved for the handicapped. Don’t believe anything anyone else tells you…especially about the cake!
Or the owls.
A nonhandicapped person is crawling up it. It’s a little steep.
Meh, he’s exaggerating a little much.
A little bit, but still…
Well, if you tilt your head to the side a little, it doesn’t look quite so steep anymore! Or you could just tilt your computer monitor over on an angle.
Think of the fabulous toned calves you will have once you utilize the ramp. How is that a fail?
It’s due to the fact that the ramp is made out of owl cake.
Oh…
Wow…If you type NYC in Windings it comes up with a skull and crossbones, a star of David, then a thumbs up…are Microsoft Nazis that live in new york?
Anyways, does anyone know the character code for a musical note?
♪ or ♫ ?
Fare thee well fair Fail Blog denizens, prithee, grace me once with thy presence on the morrow!
Uhh…see ya?
G’ night gaynor
Once and only once on the morrow. Till then, God speed!
*issues God a speeding ticket*
Try to keep it below the limit, okay?
Look! A furless human.
I think thats at to high of an angle for a ramp too
Ramp entrance for Evil Knievel
They just put the wrong emblem on the ramp. Instead of a person in a wheelchair, it should have been a person on a motorcycle!
Evel Knievel
1938-2007
R.I.P.
it’s a skate ramp!
Dang, I was gonna post this same ramp.
Its in Cozumel. Standards are pretty stretchy there.
I saw this too, when I went there on a cruise! Weird…
1.copy and paste
2.paste on 2 video’s
3.count to 10 in your head
4.look at your hand’s
That’s right, make those damned crips work harder for their store.
The first handicapped ramp that’s easier to climb for the handicapped than for the rest.
Assuming they can climb…
That’s so funny, we were just in Cozumel twice this year and saw that ramp in the shopping area…Thought the same thing…Total fail.
well, those handicapped people do enjoy several seconds of hangtime every now and then…
Goodness, all you people and your names. Are you even talking about the picture? I dubbed this as TL;DR somewhere around the dragon fights…
They got it right in spirit!
Wicked! I saw that ramp in Cozumel Mexico, but kept forgetting to take a picture… Glad someone did!
But… I’M Ziv.
Does Ziv actually have any meaning apart from sounding cool? Recently I seem to have noticed an influx of “Zivs” around the internet…
this ramp is in Cozumel, Mexico!
I was just there in April
holy crap! that is me! but i’ve never been to Coumel, Mexico. I really don’t remember where this was taken. Ziv: who are you, you want to find me on facebook?
It isn’t you its me, Ziv is my Hebrew name. I was in Mexico and my buddy took this pic after seeing this insane ramp. I am really not exaggerating on how steep it is. Those who have been there know how crazy it is. The best part is that if you rolled down it you would shoot out into one of the busiest streets in the city. And although I was at senior frogs earlier I was not wasted in this pic. Thanks for all the great comments!
Dude, no way. That looks exactly like me. right down to the black rainbow sandals that i’m wearing right now. and I’ve been there before, just not in Cozumel, Mexico.
I’m confused. What’s the joke?
Well, I think that it might have something to do with the extreme angle of the ramp built for wheelchair access. But what is even funnier to me is your confusion about it. hahaha
Maybe we can get a fuse or 2 and some old rockets and see what we can do?
did he die?
Why does everyone who posts here have some like game. Snork count? Wtf is all this
My wife took a picture of the exact same ramp in Mexico, we thought it was hilarious and terrible at the same time…
I bet this picture was taken in China. They always like to take shortcuts and save a little money. Cheap bastards
Oh my gosh, I know this is really mean but can’t you imagine someone in a wheelchair trying to go up the ramp but flipping over??? I really hope the person in my head didn’t get hurt…
LOL
OMG IVE BEEN THERE XD
is he mentally challenged thinking that will work for cripples
I think if you have difficulty accessing the door as a non-handicap person, then the handicap might have difficulty as well…
Wait…I’m confused, why did you not do anything?