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Cheezburger Network Blog
Saftey is always third!
Following savings and PROFIT!
Not at this store.
So, Malicite, tell us: Why do the lawyers always have to spoil everything?
One word. Money.
What about the Glory?, don’t forget about the glory!
Oh, that reminds me, Power as well.
…and fame.
I better get into bloody law school…
Bloody law? Is that homicides and assaults only?
…and blood bank robberies.
Yah, good thing we didnt have to bail them out.
also includes bloody nose clean up crew headquarters
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Shoulda been a go-go dancer.
*smooch*!!!!
Smooches are free. It’s extra for a lap dance, though. *hugs*
Can I pay you in yen?
I’m applying now Mookie. *feels a career change coming*
Wear a helmet when you practice on the pole.
…and watch out for that bar.
Wear a visor when you practice on the slav.
And steel toes boots when you get into school.
Do you have to supply your own thong?
song?
*thqueeeeeeze*
*slides down pole to the moominmobile*
*drives off*
*things a thilly thong*
It’s NOT too late. Ya gotta start by moonlighting, then work your way up.
*bares ass to lamp, climbs ladder, doesn’t get savings*
I need to invest in some shiny clothes and an Afro.
Mali, you make it sound like you weren’t going to do that anyway?
Why? Cuz he doesn’t look good in shiny?
Oo! Shiny!
Lawyers never getting fame nor glory at all….
You’ll never reach the top if you don’t climb the ladder!
Ooooh that smell!
Plus, they use elevators instead of ladders.
MRN, any particular reason for that question? Something happen?
No, just reminded me of warnings on coffee cups, etc – that the smaller sign was an afterthought.
Hahaha… I can completely see someone making that sign necessary.
*sighs*
(Reposting)
… or this classic New Yorker cartoon:
.
http://www.cartoonbank(dot)com/assets/1/29456_m.gif
That’s crappy rope to use for a noose.
Yes, few successfully hang themselves with pixels.
Yeah, and I bet they use ponies instead of horses to drag ‘em up
I think that died with its legs in the air.
Cute little pony legs?
True, but she could’ve done with a pedicure.
I tried to hang myself with pixels once, it wasn’t a good resolution.
Suicide is not the answer, the answer is always C.
No, the answer is “yes”. The question is “beer?”.
Do you want me to pour the beer directly into your bowl?
*lays down with mouth open, next to fluffy’s bowl*
*pops the top on a St. Paulie’s Girl* or would you prefer Killian’s Red?
There’s a good East Coast US brewery called Dogfish Head – that might be perfect for Fluffy.
Ohhh have ye had the kind thats like hard cider? Apple flavored beer….surprizingly good.
Dogfish Head! I have one of their t-shirts. Good beer.
I think Fluffy might like a “Fish Tale Ale” from Fish Brewing Company in Olympia, Washington.
And you, Brewski? *mixes a Grey Goose and orange juice* it’s almost noon here..what would you like?
12:08 by my clock!
*sidles up to Annie’s bar*
*peruses array of bottles on wall*
Uh oh, your Cabo Wabo is empty. Was WoahNellie just here?
He may have sprinted through. I hope he comes back…I want to try that Whoe here, Nellie there…….
*obliges Annie*
Meanwhile, in other news, Moose Drool is excellent beer – they also used to make Squirrel Spit, but alas, it is no more…
*pours Cabo shots all around*
“Bear whiz beer – it’s in the water, that’s why it’s yellow.”
Did you photoshop them?
I personally like to spin them around like tiny little coins on a table and THEN Photoshop them.
Fortunately, he used stuck pixels and not dead pixels.
*POUNCE!!*
Hm. I must be getting better. I didn’t wobble and fall over that time!
*POUNCE-BACK!!*
*pins you down, licks your ears*
Oh, come on…I was as weak as a kitten yesterday!
Today I’m surely adolescent tabby-strong.
No, we revised the business plan.
1)Collect Fails
2) ?
3) Safety
4) profit!!!
No, safety can never come before profit. Ever.
Safety comes third. We’ve established that already.
Someonerandm’s way to think is brought to you by the economic crisis.
Crisis – when living in a house just isn’t cool anymore!
Would you like to look at the latest in cardboard boxes?
Cardboard boxes?!?!! Luxury!
Then profit is the mysterious second step. We have discovered it!
Then profit comes second. We have discovered the mysterious second step!!
especially at home depot(that’s where the pic is….obviously…)
Nesting fails strike again!
Cheers to not saying safety [b]FIRSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT[/b]
< not [Safety time!
*does the Safety Dance*
*does the electric slide*
*Does the hustle, hopes nobody notices*
*Does the boot,scoot and boogie*
*Does the macarena* >.< its the only one I ever learned…..
*jumps to the left*
*takes a step to the right*
*puts hands on hips*
*brings her knees in tight*
*pelvic thrust*
*goes insane*
*does the Time Warp again*
*leans to the right*
*dons a ton of makeup & joins DrB*
*steps to the riiiiiiiight*
* Goes up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-b-a-start *
Ooooh, sparkly!!
Nesting fail!! *sob! *
Nesting success after all! * sob squared *
Ok…when did we stop doing the macarena and start doing the dance from “Rocky Horror Picture Show”?
NOW!
*grabs Anniebunny*
Pull your knees in tight and do a pelvic thrust!
But it’s the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane!
Let’s do the time warp again!
*gets sense of Deja Vu*
I know one dance ok!
*feels ashamed, attepts macarena*
Macarena?!?!
*slaps sofaking with a shellacked mackerel*
uhoh…..
Duck Anniebunny!!!!!!!!
*waggles his hips to the soothing sound of the Macarena*
Dude, that hurt. Did you really have to shellack it first?
It was a moral imperative.
Sorry bout that. The Macarena just brings the worst out of me.
*feels guilty*
*does it upside down, rolls over, and does it again*
(whitewater kayaker here)
No where to go but up.
Nowhere to go, butt up.
Nowhere to, go but up.
Now here, to go butt up.
*bites pillow*
*loves it when she calls Moomin ‘pillow’*
Demographic fail all over
This is like the sign in front of Bayer Drug Co. in southern CT that said, “Drugs Don’t Work” – true story!
(I should drive down there some day and take a picture if it’s still there – but it probably isn’t.)
There’s a sign – at least there used to be – in Santa Monica –
——
NO TRESPASSING – VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW
- Sisters of Mercy
——
One of my personal favorites
Heh heh…
Lordy have mercy on me cuz the Sisters surely won’t.
Ready for penance, huh? Umm…actually, nvm
I am NOT an altar boy.
*clenches buttocks*
In the temple of love you hide together
Believing pain and fear outside
But someone near you rides the weather
And the tears he cried will rain on walls
As wide as lovers eyes
-Sisters of Mercy.
*looks puzzled*
Always thought the lines were blurred between Goth and religion.
They all wear a lot of black and dwell on death.
But do they *SQUEEZE the Moomin*??
Once upon a time.
Where? I’ll go get a pic.
“Just do it” (No, actually don’t)
You know you want to. I just did.
In your pants?
In YOUR pants.
In YOUR endo!
Whatever happened to the Lunchboxes of yesteryear?
We have a burger joint here that collects lunchboxes and puts them up on shelves around the dining room. I’m constantly tempted to take a few home with me.
I miss Lunchbox. And his pants. And your endo.
I do toooooo. I was thinking of him yesterday, what with the “Fireman Fail” and all.
That’s “Fluffy Powered Fireman Fail” to you.
*squeeze*
If you were to get a Coke there are Friday the 13th…your kids would have bad luck…
are = on *sadface*
Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.
Climb your way to savings…. Is the ceiling on sale?
Are they selling vertigo?
Climbing is not an option.
This is not a ladder.
This is not my beautiful wife.
These aren’t the droids you are looking for.
How did I get here?
…same as it ever was…
…same as it ever was…
…same as it ever was…
And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!
You mean it can’t happen (English) or it has to happen (French)?
*eats a Happen (German ~ a bite)*
How do you say “happen” in German? In English it’s Dutch.
Mostly we say it dishonestly. We ate more than just a Happen (Polish).
Can I polish that pole for you?
First we should get rid of the BaconLube.
ShamWow! Stat!
What just happened?
In the Netherlands, nothing ever happens. That’s why the dutch.
What the dutch?
Exactly.
Climb your wayto, savings???? What’s my wayto? And why would I want savings to climb on it?
Someone called?
What the heck is a paint doing there?
*paint bucket
Would you like a bukkit for that bucket?
fluffy why does your posting date have a margin? o.O
Huh.. never noticed that. I have no idea.
Lemme try something here.
It’s the longer names that get a margin. Fruitcake and Anniebunny have them, too.
WN and BFF get datelines right justified.
Might have nested correctly, might not… who the f…… know?
I can see all of your’s, Fluffy. WN and BFF’s too.
Mine don't.Leave it be, that’s Fluffy’s margin of error.
Yeah, we don’t want to see fluffy flushed!
*snork*
Climbing it’s way to savings.
“its”? Want me to find the bukkit Starfish? *squeeze*
Hand it over. I have an apostrophe infestation and the little buggers are all over the place.
*takes fly swatter and starts beating down on apostrophes* Here’s the bukkit…I will clean up the infestation.
FIRST
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Almost!
Lol, he’s tenth.
Well, he’s First-Zeroth
Notice it says Please don’t climb ladders, so you can’t even get savings.
You guys must be happy now, as I have to go.
Awww…feel better soon.
You misspelled “behave”.
I did? *ponders*
*snorkroffle*
Don’t be so hard on yourself fruitcake, you’re doing better each day.
*releases snakes*
LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
*lubes the snakes*
You’re a slippery customer.
*rubberizes the tarantulas*
*installs rockets on snail*
*attaches tiny little hoses to rockets*
*turns on rocket fuel pump for .00001 seconds*
Too much NELLIE!! Noooooooooooo!!!!
*snail goes all Challenger*
*gets a mop*
*comforts LEILA*
*converts remaining snails to dilithium crystals*
The Circle of Life!
*adds a flux-capacitor*
JULES!!! I was talking about you today! Are you married?
Yes, I am.
Congrats!
*breaks out the champagne*
Did my little guy win?
Your “little guy”? You’re right, we do need a gender indicator around here.
My little guy as in my snail … NOT my NoNos which last time I checked is ALL female.
*checks*
Yep!
Heeeeeeeey…..
What? I was just saying your snail is definitely male!
She is most certainly NOT! Didn’t you see the little pink bow on her forehead?
Actually, s/he is both, all snails are hermaphrodites.
So no snail sex?
*packs up video camera*
Nope, they still go at it, in fact sometimes they get stuck and the one currently playing the male will gnaw its penis off.
Really? I did not know that.
Yep! ♀♂
That’s the worst thing you could have possibly done!
*again clinches buttox and tries to make it home*
It might’ve been alot worse if those snakes were dry.
For a real challenge, play Snakes and Adders. Mathmaticians get riled when you try climb on them.
Just watch out for the hypotenuse
And remember not to tan opposite the adjacent or you run the risk of skin cancer.
*assesses Moomin’s perimeter*
You shouldn’t try and tan with lube either or you’ll be reflecting.
The lube comes in handy for the slide rule though.
I can’t function so well without the lube.
I find it hard to differentiate between lubed and non-lubed to be honest.
WHAT? It’s an integral part!
With my x it was a constant.
Euler’ve the fact you’re constant and binomials unstable.
Your all (sin)ers!
SFA, don’t go off on a tangent.
There’s only a small fraction would agree with that statement.
The common denominator being they’re all top heavy.
Now you’re being irrational
I’m keeping it real.
So i see. You’re all natural.
You’d log yourself if you knew the truth.
So thats why you didn’t cosine that statement!
*counts himself out*
I think I found the root of the problem.
JULES!!!
How the hell you been?!?
Busy with a wedding and honeymoon.
*squeeze*
Welcome back!
*squeeze*
Thank you very much.
None of this stuff adds up.
But if you can manage half the base times the height…well there’s no going back.
i must refresh i must refresh
hehe
Thank God you realized that. I didn’t know a polite way to tell you that.
*sniffs*
Arthurs been behind Jam many a time.
Jam sandwich?
*SQUIDGE*
Arthur, I know (think) you are currently in Germany…but are you from the States or England? I always mean to tell you that your English is immaculate…
Thanks, but it’s not. Example? I had to look up “immaculate”.
Arthur there are plenty of Americans who would have had to look that up too.
So? That still means that my English is far from being really good. But thank you!
.
To answer the question, Malicite: Born and raised in Deutschland. Of Yugoslavian decent, but that doesn’t matter.
I’m very impressed! I wish I could speak..any other language…
Arthur, your english is very good. No matter how you look at it.
At what age do the schools start teaching English? (I assume your English is school taught.)
.
Actually, I’d be curious to hear the answer form others too.
Honestly, I know some other Americans that don’t speak English as well. One person was convinced that the past tense of “bring” was “brang”. I kid you not.
*cringe*
I constantly get “My computer’s broke”, and it’s driving me bonkers!
I was born too early. English started in the 5th grade for me, nowadays it’s mostly taught from the 3rd grade on. But I was in a summer camp when I was 11. There were groups of four kids from 20 or 25 nations, so I had to speak English for four weeks. Pretty good training!
I tell those people to give it money.
If Americans had great English…we would lose so many fails…
Personally, I think that anyone in America that can’t use proper English should be barred from contact with foreigners. Certainly an easier way to improve our collective intelligence than teaching all of our idiots.
I “studied” French for 3 yrs, but it was in High School (grades 9 -11), so by then it didn’t sink in at all. Many schools in Connecticut now start foreign languages earlier, but very few start before 5th or 6th grade. It’s such a shame, because studies show that the earlier kids learn a new language, the better. Heck, we all learned our f*rst language when we were toddlers!
And that would have been better for the respect of the world. But this rule comes at least eight years too late, GWB has already done the damage…
There are many many things about the way some Americans speak that drives me up a wall. One in particular being “supposably”. It’s like fingernails on a chalk board.
“All of the sudden.” Even worse.
You should axe them why they talk like that.
*balled up in the corner, rocking back and forth*
I speak good, I speak good, I speak good…
Or even worse “where are you at?” That one is EVERYWHERE!!
Americans speaks English very goodly. We’s know better English then anywhere. Theirs no better.
Avis….where you at? Can you come learn me this?
My current favorite is the phrase “What happened?” instead of “excuse me, I didn’t hear you”, or even, “Huh?” or “What?”
I wish I could speak another language too.
You do very well, I can hardly catch an accent.
Common phrase: That’s the reason why…
Correct phrase: That’s the reason… or… That’s why…
“reason why” is like saying “repetitive redundant”!!
It’s because people just don’t pre-plan what they’re going to say.
Dingleberries! …Now I wish I had pre-planned that comment…
Arthur, is your pre-cognition failing you??
You could of predicted that.
(GRRRRR! That one’s my personal pet peeve!!!)
I’ve started noticing people adding “already” at the end of sentences. “My friend is coming to pick me up tonight already.” It’s taken me a bit to realize that it doesn’t imply impatience but is just an idiosyncrasy.
Also, “my bad.” It makes me cringe, and on the rare occasion it slips out of my mouth I punish myself.
The one I hate the most is “same difference.” Can anyone say “antonyms?”
i must shower after working out
That about sums it up!
I could use that to triangulate your position?
I know he’s in the area somewhere.
That comment speaks volumes.
You just took it to the next dimension.
It helps me see the breadth of the problem.
So you can maximise the possible solutions?
To reiterate what you said, I like to optimise the solutions.
(That’s what I said, Booby Traps)
ADVANTAGE Moomin.
You cannot be serious!
*jumps over net and squeezes*
*waves and squeezes*
Gotta go.
*waves*
Comment = All real number from -infinity to infinity
*did that maximize the possible solutions enough?*
*glues one end of the rules to a Moebius Strip*
*tesseracts*
* Sticks the Mobius strip in a Klein bottle. *
Hey! It keeps falling out!
What? You were having a math run while I wasn’t around?
*cries*
*squeeze*
Night-night.
*squeeze*
can someone pls explain me the fail? mayb my english is to worse to get it
One sign says “Climb…” the other says “Please don’t climb…”
The contradiction is the Fail.
oh dear…my eyes are to bad i didn’t see the “please don’t”…i was like: huh?
thank you mate
Snorlax, remember it’s spelled “too” not “to” when you wanna say “a lot” ( mucho si hablas español )
Replying Fail!!!
Oh no! it wasn’t a fail.
Now believing it was a fail when it wasn’t. That’s a fail!!!
I’ve got one of those somewhere on this page too. It’s a phantom nesting problem that fools just about everyone at some point.
* Hoping this goes where it should…. *
They usually do – but once the count reaches 300 it just may take a refresh to get them there.
Bien dicho. Also, the cake is a lie.
The cookies are the truth!
Cookies are the ONLY truth. They are your salvation.
YOU KNEW ABOUT THAT?!
No. That’s not true. THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!
Please, no star wars. It’s gotten dull fast already.
Star Wars? Dull?
NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO!
I’ve never liked star wars. Please deal with it. We all have opinions, I guess you must like star wars, but I don’t and you probably dislike things I like. It’s life.
Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand.
Well, since Rogue is a long-time failblogger and one of the original crew members, and fruitcake is a noob with a serious problem of running off at the keyboard, I’m thinking he can just suck it up.
*buys ticket to Star Trek movie*
*shows up in stormtrooper armor to piss off the Trekkies*
“Mr. Sulu, show this pile of cheap recycled plastic the business end of a photon torpedo!”
“Captain Piett, bring all turbolasers to bear. Wipe this fool off the face of the galaxy.”
Enterprise vs. Executor. Fanboyism aside, that would be a hell of an epic space battle.
Jedi worms?
Yes. They feed on Rebel scum.
Yes…great buff food. They up your strength, stamina and intellect by +30 and give you the ability to track changes in the force for 60 minutes. Try them with catsup!
I thought the cake was from a video game…and I’ve not seen Star Wars (the Latest) yet.
Geez, it’s been out for four years now.
Oh my…name recognition fail on my part. I did get dragged to Star Wars…its Star Trek I refused to get in the car for…well, any movie for the last year. I just will not go.
I’m going to hurt you now for confusing the two.
*lightsaber hums*
I refuse to acknowledge that there have been any Star Wars made since the original three.
Star Wars Lego?
What do you mean, “original three”? There are only three Star Wars movies anyway!
What about the remakes?
What remakes? Han shot first!
Take me to see something scary, instead, Lord Rogue…
Clone Wars it is, then.
Yeah, once you see that Jar Jar character you’ll run screaming from the theater!
“Meesa gonna eat yousa SOOOOUUULLLL!”
Noooooo!!! I’ve endured that one already…*cringes at the realization that there is a Hannah Montana movie* ok…Clone Wars is fine!! I’ll buy the popcorn…
Or we could all just meet at my house and watch Ironman on my plasma TV. I’ll make popcorn…you bring beer.
Ooooh! I haven’t seen it!
*brings Strongbow*
I’ve always believed that the manna in the desert lo those 40 years was actually Mystic Mint cookies.
I agree w you. It was re-written however because many died at the thought of having mint in the cookies.
Wow… whoever this was couldn’t afford the proper size sign, so they had to splice four small signs together…
…and they capped the amount which you could possibly gain before you can even begin to save. I am so dizzy!
That’s what you get for shopping at Home Depot
It looks like Home Depot. The funny thing is they sell signs big enough for this at Home Depot.
But you can’t climb to success if you use the signs you sell!
OMG someone got trapped in one of the vending machines!
And he’s happy about it!
It’s the ghost in the machine.
Dead mouse ex machina.
*sprays coffee all over monitor*
Oh! and there’s someone with the same shirt in the other machine!
Ham Solo?
Wow… feels like a victory these days not to be the 387th poster.
Nothing really to say, but after the first 15 no one is really reading these at this point. Except THAT guy, who must be really bored…
It was quite moving when you died, I liked your speech.
*throws some red matter in his/her direction.
*feels self being sucked into his monitor*
*resists*
*succeeds*
WHEW!!
LEILA THAT GUY
*tosses an ‘ = ‘ sign up there*
The equals was implied
T’was … but I am trying very hard to avoid the bukkit.
Leila, you are a very effeminate guy.
I wish! My male gay friend is more feminine than I will ever be.
Sounds like a quitter attitude.
I am going to keep being all girly to the best of my ability. Better?
I thought she was ordering us to ‘LEILA’ them. Was trying to work out what that entailed.
*curious to find out* Didn’t know I was a verb. This sounds very exciting.
Verbs are always exciting.
*grabs popcorn and waits*
Well, LEILA this one and LEILA that one – gets a guy through the day, note I mean?
So…would I Annie one and Bunny the other?
No, but you can Whoa this and Nellie that.
*picks mind up from the gutter* ahem…
I hear you sistah!
*goes in corner to behave*
Why start now…?
I’m serious! Being have is no fun whatsoever!
I note you mean. I do.
I like your logic.
I am. You are unique, don’t you ever think otherwise.
Just like 6 billion other unique individuals currently alive on planet Earth.
I’m not unique.
That’s a very unique perspective, Arthur.
But.. but… Where’s BFF’s button?
OOooooh…you mean his IMPLOSION button!
6 billion? Are you sure?
Uniquely.
I’m tired. Anyone cares for a line of coke?
Yummy, do you have cherry?
He only has caca-cola. Sorry.
How did you know?
Hey, Hairy! How did your surgery go?
Sure. I’d love to do some steelmaking.
Only people from Pittsburgh will get that joke…
Someone might get it by induction (furnace).
I’m in the (Bessemer) process of looking up more steel jokes.
We have a large cast of people here to help.
[Aja]
♫
Come with me
I know the way
It’s down, down, down the dark ladder
♫
[/Aja]
Wow, this one took me a while to figure out.
Good one, AA.
Wow, I guess I haven’t been to the hospital in a while. I just got Tylenol with codeine.
That sh*t will knock you out! They gave it to me when I had bronchitis and I didn’t like it at all. I was all out of it.
hehehe – gave me delightfully itch red spots all over…
Tylenol causes measles??
AAAAAAHHH!!!!
*runs around like BFF, screaming and waving arms*
*tears all Tylenol bottles out of cabinets and throws them away*
Tylenol is ten times harder on your liver than alcohol is. Taken together the damage increases exponentially.
*takes Aleve*
Yes, it’s way more fun to abuse your liver with alcohol than with Tylenol.
Sounds good. Where is that tequila? I am high on claritin D right now. Doesn’t take much for me.
*sighs*
*pickpockets LEILA’s keys*
*gets ready to carry her home again*
*wonders why gaynorvader pickpockets me when I obviously carry a purse and have no pockets*
It’s a turn of phrase, of course I lifted them from your purse, ‘cutpursing doesn’t really roll off the tongue though.
Hairy!!! *gently squeezes* How are you? diet coke for me.
Fine, thanks!
*squeeze*
*hands Aniiebunny of the nonpoisonous variety a diet coke*
Anniebunny, I am really concerned about you advertising your nonpoisonous variety. *whispers* You are amongst flesh eaters.
*darts a look around* true….
*whispers* i’ve never seen “Titanic”…..or “Scarface”….or “I Know What You Did Last Summer”
Good that we didn’t hear that.
Pssst.
[whisper]I’ve never seen Titanic either[/whisper]
We could start a secret club. B)
We already did – oh, you didn’t know…
[whispers]I wish I had never seen Titanic.[/whisper]
*whispers* Me either Anniebunny. I have to add that I’ve never seen star wars either. I just don’t see the draw. *flees*
Yaya!! People make fun of me for that….especially not seeing *whisper* Titanic, they’ve even been offended almost…
*whisper* want to see how to rile up some star wars fans?
*whisper* I did watch Titanic, trust me, you didn’t miss much.
They believe star wars is the best thing since sliced bread. I don’t get it.
I don’t think sliced bread is all that great…
*lift*
I abhor *eline *ion – I have a physical reaction to her voice. That was reason #1 and the other one is, I mean, we all know how it ends – thrill is gone.
The Thrill is Gone is BB King – much better tune.
I worked in a movie theater when it came out. And it went on and on.
*whispers* I unfortunately have seen many a waste of film. When I worked at Blockbuster I watched everything that came through the door…big mistake.
*whispers* I know what you mean. I worked at Movie Gallery and did the same thing. *shudders*
LEILA, you will never know the power of the dark side.
I am the dark side.
I am the Kwisatz Haderach
You are Shortening of the Way?
Yes. Why not.
But…I bought the M&Ms….
Welcome back Hairy!
Hi!
Hello! How was it?
Fine, not so much pain. My ass is half bald though!
*snickers*
*bountys*
Mutiny!
Could Rogaine help your ass?
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
So how are the painkillers?
Someone (Brewski) thwacked me with a shellacked mackarel today…….why does that keep happening to me!
He got a mackerel too? DTI has a trout, and Dragon has a halibut.
At least it wasn’t a blue whale!
Or a swordfish.
Hee!
Boo!
Are you sure it wasn’t just a fluke?
failure, no doubt about it, and its ironic too
No. It’s a win (for whatever reason).
Overused failblog comment #3
PIXESL!
Overused failblog commnet #4
Shadows!
Overused blog comment #4
5…#5 *glares at bukkit* !@#$*&^ snails…
Ironical indeed.
I am go to dance, very carefully
-
I don’t want to break my ass again.
*takes his beloved 70’s outfit*
*grooves ‘I am go to’ in ‘i am going to’ and thinks, why did i ever type that?*
That’s better.
They’d have to shave the rest of it then.
*dances around Hairy with a large fluffy pillow* Do your thing Hairy…you’ll be off those drugs soon…
Wahoo!
O.k. next song.
*the jukebox plays the next song which is: Born to be alive – The village people*
Anniebunny!! that’s OUR song!
*dances on and on and on*
Tell her it’s the theme song from a recent movie – she’ll never know!
It’s the theme song from a recent movie!
Good enough?
Oh..a movie? I haven’t seen that one.
It was a recent movie. That’s the second part of the trilogy.
Was that any good MRN?
Reallyyyyyyy… O.k. so i post ‘Good enough’ and i get nothing…
Then i guess.. I’d try again different word use.. Click o.k. and suddenly i’ve got 2!
I fail at acting like i’m failing
Sorry, didn’t know you were waiting for an answer. OK, great, thanks!
*does the macarena with Hairy* shake it slow Hairy!! woot!! *tucks a dollar in Hairy’s pocket*
Wow, thanks. Now i’ve finally made enough money with dancing to pay for my new carton of cigarettes.
Those cigarettes will stunt your hair-growth you know. Especially ass hair.
Just don’t break your little coccyx.
F to tha izerst!
all bow before me!
I refuse. Where the hell is my name?there you are
You're also missing Skwerlly and a few other people who haven't been on Fail Blog recently.You are missing mine!
my length is very long i am the ad coverer!
No ads.
I feel somewhat slighted…
I can’t even see it past bondf, and there is no scroll bar, so I don’t know who he is missing.
About two thirds of the regulars, thankfully, otherwise he’d probably crash the blog engine.
Hmmmmmm…. it was after this yahoo (he of the very long name) posted that most the nesting screw-ups seemed to happen. Just an observation.
This individual is obviously suffering from a multiple personality disorder.
And he spelled my name wrong :/
*thinks everyone does*
I don't think I've ever spelled Malacite wrong.THWACK!
Hey, give me back my shellacked mackerel!
Why does it need to be shellacked?
To keep it from rotting.
That, and it’s more fun to say that way. Try it!
Shellacked mackerel
shellacked mackerel
shellacked mackerel…
shellacked mackerel
shellacked mackerel
shellacked mackerel
-
nah … I don’t feel the tingle.
*evil grin*
*thwacks LEILA with shellacked mackerel*
NOW do you feel the tingle?
*looks innocent*
*sees multiples of Avis flying around head* Oh, um … I feel it now. It is fun!
*snork*
*throws a concerned look at Avis* You okay?
*catches concerned look*
*places it gently on Avis’ beak*
Hee! I was laughing at the ninjas comment. Why would I not be O.K.?
*looks at concerned look, sees that it is nothing to be concerned about*
All is good then … False alarm … my bad.
Aren’t you two supposed to be staring each other to death?
We never agreed on a time for the re-match. And today’s no good, I won’t be here for that long.
LEILA for the humane treatment of the criminally insane
April 30th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Let’s see *opens calendar and mumbles to herself, Tues is day at the spa, Wed tennis classes w Umberto, Thur…nope – helping poor defenseless animals, Fri = fun day, weekend NO good, um…aha* How about Wed 5/13 at 2pm MST?
Oh CRAP!!!! *looks in Outlook* … when was this supposed to happen? Plus, Avis – or someone, just wacked me with a shellacked mackarel. My vision and ability to glare will be seriously affected.
*is seriously afraid of MRN* Wow! *nervous laugh* MRN, you are very efficient. Good investigative skills.
That’s tomorrow! We haven’t missed it.
Anyone who’s seen Star Wars or Titanic would know how I did it.
How can you spell Malcite wrong? It’s an easy name.
What the heck does that mean, anyways? Malicite?
Are you related to Malachite, the mineral?
Mal, I cite?
I’ve noticed that, Mal.
I bring this on myself.
*gets on knees* Please forgive me Malicite. I shall not misspell your name going forward.
I will only misspell your name while going backwards, eticilam!
Malicite seems cooler spelled backwards actually…
I’m just sorry I forgot to capitalise!
*fires ‘eticilaM’ to replace eticilam*
*really really really wants to be inappropriate right now*
Success is not an option.
Two words, Malicite: Lorena Bobbitt.
You remind me of this clicky.Do you think people email The Onion and complain that the pics are Photoshopped?
Heck, I am complaining that my hibiscus is photoshopped. I mean, LOOK at it! L
K @ IT!!! 
*LOOKS @ IT!!*
It’s still loverly!
*looks around*
Why are people staring at LEILA’s flower?
Cuz it’s photoshopped and everyone is laughing!!!
*runs out of FB*
Jar Jar Binks was definitely the best character in any of the Star Wars, he was the only one I found interesting.
Really? Why?
He seemed to be the only one which had any character development, plus he was so funny!
I only like the original three movies, so I only half paid attention to the newer ones.
Episode III was great!
Wind up fail?
O.k. see you tomorrow, woa! feels good to say that instead of: see you in about a week
my ass is getting chopped up with a big ass knife.
Bye!
*waves* Bye my Bald-ass Hairy friend.
Toodles!
Comb over anytime, Hairy.
Cheery-bye-now!
It’s good to have you back! See you tomorrow!
I’m off myself…a meeting at work. *squeezes everyone* ya’ll behave now.
*gives Brewski the keys to the bar*
lock up when you’re done.
Hoo hah!!
Now taking orders!!
*mixes himself a Tanqueray 10 martini, 2 olives*
Where does this belong?Where does what belong?
I thought I was replying to a comment that was out of place down here but apparently I just started a new thread.Watch, in about an hour this will go where it’s supposed to and we will have had the ULTIMATE in nesting wins!
Just imagine it.ULTIMATE?
*grabs frisbee*
*waits for brewski to throw frisbee*
Back! Go way back there! Keep going!!
Uh, wait… I can’t throw that far.
Refresh first – he might nest closer to you.
*refresh*
Hey, that worked. Why are all these dragon eggs here in a pile?
♪ Where the eagles fly on a mountain high…
Far from the world below
Where the clear winds blow ♪
There appears to be something amiss in FailBlog today. That or my computer is borked. Again.
Yup your computer is broked. It reverses o’s and r’s around.
That was purposeful.
These nesting screw-ups are getting ridiculous!
Sorry I just wanted to make a joke about your computer as well
.
The blog seems to be a bit wonky today. I’m not entirely sure it’s my computer this time.
Ya its a bit off, guess they are doing so service work.
I didn’t know you were a Swedish chef.
Zeere-a eppeers tu be-a sumetheeng emeess in FeeelBlug tudey. Thet oor my cumpooter is borked. Egeeen.
This fail brought to you by the brilliant minds at Home Depot. Thanks Frank Blake… you never cease.
Cursed Coke machines win! Good luck with that…BUDDY.
Work’s over, bye peoples!
*tosses keys to LEILA*
*tosses shiny gold coin to DragonWriter*
*waves*
Byeeee.
Ooh! A shiny!
*puts gold coin with rest of treasure hoard*
hey thats at walmart right?
how the hell is that a fail? I thin the store rather not be sued for some idiot falling and cracking their skull.
Are you kidding? If someone cracked their skull how could they sue? Plus ladders are so much fun! So are savings!
because the store was irresponsible and allowed kids to climb on really high ladders.\
And yea I know ladders a fun xD just retards ruin it for all >_>
That’s Home Depot for ya :3
lol love the name of the picture
Gotta love contradicting and absurd directions.
http://www.peoplethatlooklikeanimals.com
…also gotta love your mom.
…and animals that are trying to make you shit your pants.
I love this!
Don’t climb XD
so, those are werner ladders, and home depot doesn’t sell those. it’s a lowe’s brand. is anyone else as disturbed by this as i am?
Which sign am I supposed to listen too??!!
shit…*to
lol
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lol
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lol
lol
lol
u guys need lives………
P.S
lol
Epic. F***ing. Fail.
*boots comment upwards*
Get to where you’re meant to be.
I thanky you many. Veri nice from yous!
*bends the rules, allows for more solutions*
*bends some more*
*perk!*