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Cheezburger Network Blog
He’ll get fired. Hehe.
I love word games!
Is that guy hot or what?
He’s smokin’ hot, closet!
Sure sparked my interest.
GREAT FAIL FLUFFY
Now, to hours of word games and beyond!
Well, it sure gave a new meaning to “fire fighter”. I wouldn’t want to run into this guy in a dark alley, which wouldn’t be very dark for very long.
This is going to ignite quite a controversy.
I’m burnin’ for some action!
They have creams for that, you know…for when you have a flare-up.
Do you take sour cream or butter on your potato, Mal?
Roasted potatoes need no sour cream or butter.
That dumbass spread the fire to 2 other people
You can go for pills aswell, cures your impotence in no time!
[Not saying that you have an impotence Mailicite, just saying you could.]
I’ve gotten impotency and ED in the same day. Wait, aren’t they the same?
Don’t worry Mal, it’s not impotent.
I thought a noticed a little limp there Malicite, but I wasn’t going to say anything.
Did you know that impotency is genetic?
If you can’t have kids, your kids can’t have kids.
But can you have grandkids?
That can’t be possible. Why, the universe would implo-
*universe implodes and starts humming “The girl from Ipanema”*
oh, burrnn.
He must of been a member of I set my friends on fire.
Fire at the Disco!
Fire at the… Taco bell….
I had an auntie troll once. She’d appreciate the support.
Knock it off, you flamers.
Obama’s Teleprompter?
Seriously, what were you thinking?
LOL!! I love it
Let’s not have any incendiary comments.
It seems they have passion burning in their veins
Which led to a burning when they pee
i like it when you torch me like that…
I’m not really attracted to guys who act all flaming. Besides, a girl can get burned by guys like that.
I would say a firestorm of controversy.
One of the lighter comments, I must say…
I bet when he thinks back about this incident it really burns him up…
Or what.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE*
*Squeeze Smooch*
Hey ya. How was your weekend?
*SQUEEEEEZIE*
.
Busy. Mowed 3 acres of grass. Went to my high school reunion cookout (not that much fun).
.
How was yours?
Entertaining and somewhat relaxing.
I had a cookout both Saturday and Sunday night. Great food, good company, and didn’t get a lick of work done. It was great, but now I am stressing because I have so much work to do and it has to be done before I leave for the east coast next Monday.
Ooh! What part of the east coast? Maybe I can meet you in the convertible.
.
*wink, wink; nudge, nudge*
*giggles*
I will be in upstate New York and Vermont for most of it, however I will also be all around. Lobster in Maine to visiting relatives in PA and Maryland. I’ll be there two weeks.
hey, Im from upstate NY, currently residing in PA. What parts are you visiting?
I live in PA too! Goooo Phillies!
Goooo Red Sox!!!
Mmmm… free goo…
I’ll be in Plattsburg.
Dang it…
*Throws an ‘h’ up for Plattsburgh*
*pats Aiki on the back*
There, there, I know, hairballs suck!
YOGA FIRE!
Yoga Flame!
Looks like he already was…
Damn that was original!!!!
Fired..I get it. haha
Fire! Heh, heh. Fire! Fire! Heh, heh.
Calm down Beavis!
Heh, heh. Ok. Pull my finger.
Don’t make my bunghole angry.
Are you threatening me?
Huh huh. Shut up Beavis, before I have to, like, kick your ass and stuff. Huh huh.
As Red Guy said: I’ve always wanted to be a fireman. Until I discovered that they PUT OUT fires.
Was this suppost to happen?
NO!
But the guy Farted… OK?
What happent to your grammar?
Thats hot!
white power
hot shower
pot flower
nice tower
DAMN BROWSER!
Bam Bowser!
Doogie Howser
Sup with Bowser?
Zero Hour
Bill Cowher
Time for shower!
[It's been about 2 and a half months]
Buy more power!
exploding flour
Matt Lauer
$7.50 an hour?!
Powered by fluffy the fish! Woot!
.
*confetti*
Yea Fluffy!
*Funfetti*
WTG Fluffy!
*blows bubbles*
Woo hoo hoo!!!!
Thank you, thank you *bows* It is my pleasure to power this fail for y’all.
Fluffy! Yer famous!
*squeeze*
fluffy, ya done swimmingly I must say!!
*group squeezes*
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE*
*eyes pop out of head*
Um…guys…I appreciate the squeezes and all, but your enthusiasm is making it very difficult to breathe!
There’s no living in Failblog! *DOT ORG*
Hope you feel better Dragon :/
Tanks. My fever is down below 100 now, so I think I’m on the mend. Last night was awful, though.
This usually happens to me at the end of a semester. I hang on through that final push at the end, I relax, and BAM! I’m knocked on my dragon-ass by some bug.
*in hushed voice*
Oh no, don’t tell me… is it… “Them!”?
Well, I’m certainly getting antsy waiting for her to recover.
99.5°! Woohoo!
I still feel lousy, though.
*gently squeezes Dragon*
We don’t want to cause an accidental FOOMing!
Make way! Make way!
How’s the congestion…do you need some steam?
Only one thing can truly be in said in this situation:
*makes whey*
Sorry. That was a cheesy comment.
Pardon me, I’ll be right back…(distant honk)
.
.
I just bleu my nose. Is it red?
No, not at all. That was quite a feta-ccompli!
You curd say that.
You were whey late, Brewski. You ricotta remember to refresh.
Oh cheese, you guys…
Queso what are you going to do about it?
Personally, I’m not going to let it grate on me.
*Cheshire grin*
Oh no…it’s all gouda.
(And I love your cheesy grin!)
I Camembert to cheer you up with this can of Silly String.
*squeeeze*
Dammit. The blogmonster ate my cheese!
Try again…clickie!
Hee! The dairy claims that the cheese is not illegal outside of Nova Scotia, and that they will happily sell and ship it to you. It’s illegal to resell it outside of Nova Scotia, though. Local news stories can be full of holes no matter where you live.
I’ve had enough work… time to go home and get ine-brie-ated.
Happy fails all!
Don’t get drunk behind the wheel!
Never! A friend did that and bleu a 0.17%!
You’d have to be emmental to drive under the influence!
… or to drive under a Muenster truck!
You are a fontina of information, as always sweets!
I met a Gorgon name Zola once. How’s that?
Was she driving a chèvrelet?
How did she smell?
Awful!
(sorry.. BFF’s joke from yesterday is like a brainworm for me)
In Soviet Russia people burn the fire
In Soviet Russia, fire lights you.
In sovjet Russia fire lits YOU
It’s gettin’ hot in here!
AAAAaaaaarrrrrgggg!!! EARWORM!!!!
You know I’ll get you back for that one don’t you?
Here, lemme help you:
Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
Grrrrr. I’ll get you yet!
I was HELPING you! And you weren’t supposed to read that. It was an anti-worm for that horrible one Ms B planted.
But now THAT god-awful “tune” is stuck in my head! Believe me, I will come up with something truly hideous to get her back.
To get rid of all ear worms I usually think of, Pretty Fly for a white guy. I clears the mind of all ear worms and is self deprecating.
it* clears the mind
*sigh*
bukkit
You’ve just cleared my sinuses!
Oooh! Me next!
These allergies are killing me!
Here enter my office, better yet let me escort you in.
*sweeps Ms B off her feet and carry’s her in to his office*
*tries to catch breath*
Yup, that’ll do it…
*Pants*
Glad I could be of service.
I need some time before your next appointment.
♪ I like your pants around your feet… ♪
That’s what she said!
Yes, yes it is.
Taste the Rainbow.
How about,
Burnin’ inferno,
Disco Inferno,
Burnin’ inferno,
Burn the mother down…
Play that funky music!
*feels thrilled that he doesn’t know these tunes*
Oh, I. I just died in your arms tonight.
NOOOO!
*reaches out throttles velvet*
^and^
“The ink is black, the page is white, together we learn to read and write!”
One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever know.
Joy to the world! All the boys and girls!
Momma told me not to come!
*whimpers*
Sing for the moment sing for the tears, and whimpers.
Sweet dreams are made of these…
This way Dragon!
You got a fast car and I got a plan to get us out of here.
Sorry, she’s getting in my little red corvette.
Dammit aiki I was helping, but I have the anti ear worm. Pretty Fly FOr a White guy. It works like a charm to get rid of those. Also currently listening to stairway to heaven on youtube.
NIN is good for getting rid of earworms too. Pretty much anything from Pretty Hate Machine will work.
NIN is a good remedy for a lot of things!
Not a hangover!
Actually, Admiral, I thought we’d take the pink cadillac…
Odd as this sounds, I like to listen to NIN while folding laundry. I tend to move to the beat, and the folding goes by faster and for some reason I also fold better than if I listen to something else.
OOh, you just reminded me, there was an orange Lamborghini in front of Home Depot yesterday. Just like any other fan of the car, I took a picture of it and made it the back ground of my phone.
Please take the caddy. AA, You’re going to drive me to drikin’ if you don’t stop driving that Hot – Rod – Lincoln.
*is in awe of Avis’ laundry folding skills* I just throw them in a pile on my floor. It goes with the personality….really
I fold my parents laundry, not mine. Like I said on a previous fail ( afew days ago) I try to contribute to their household. And they both are VERY particular as to how they like their stuff folded.
Do they like NIN?
Not really. But they do like Metallica. Go figure.
EEEEEEEEEXIIIIIIT Light!
Metallica?!?! Wow. When my parents were really getting wild and crazy, they might put on some Mozart.
My parents are Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and Deep Purple fans. Every once in a while they will play one of the records or the early version of the tape on their record/ tape player. (I dunno what the wheel with the tape on it machine is actually called.) Then they blast it, this is in the afternoon of course.
I believe that is a “reel to reel” tape. And quite old. Before the eight track even.
I just confirmed it with my mother you are correct. Thank you as well by the way.
# You’ll be brushing out a brood mare’s tail
While the sun is ascending and I’ll just be
getting home with my reel to reel…
Believe it or not, there are still people who use reel-to-reel tape.
Further, it is still the best archival format around. Late last year I
was doing a bunch of digitizing of 40 year old tapes and most of them played just great. The best digital technology has only recently gotten up to the sound quality of professional reel-to-reel.
Dance around the world!
All you boys and girls!
It’s a small world after all!
I’m. An. Or. Di. Nar. Y. Guy.
Burnin’ down the house!
Qu’est-ce que c’est?
No throttling Velvet.
*stops Brewski*
*Hands Velvet a spiked lemonade*
Here, fresh squeezed.
Mmmm. Thanks! I’ll never turn down a lemonade.
.
*smooch*
.
Hey brewski: Jitterbug! (snap, snap) Oh, Jitterbug. (snap, snap) You put the boom-boom into my heart…
*injests large amounts of drugs to kill pain*
Can you take me higher?
Sand in the vaseline, we are…
I would like to say that… I hate you all for those earworms. I will team up with Avis (though I doubt she needs my help) to extract a most painful revenge.
The funny thing is, I’m actually punishing myself when I plant them…I thought of it and it’s in my head too. I just thought I’d spread the joy!
Hey, what’s that song the big purple dinosaur sings? You have kids, right?
Good one! Fortunately, we don’t watch that show at my house.
I love you,
you love me,
we’re a happy family.
In our house that used to go…
I love you,
you love me,
we’re a happy family.
With a mommy, daddy, and a wee man too,
Is your diaper full of poo?
Made it up while suffering from new mom brain rot and it made the kid giggle so it just didn’t die.
Does Dora the Explorer have a theme song?
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!
I usually get
Welcome to a place where words come alive!
Let’s build a word!
Word World!
*totally unfamiliar with that one*
*remembers “The Letter People” though*
A whole new world…
Hey! That’s MY earworm, along with “My Heart will go on” and “Stayin’ Alive”,
I was merely attempting to annoy her! It was more of a rhetorical question!
Sorry about that. I hear Dora all the time and it drives me nuts.
Excuse me, can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame street?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
Aargh. Don’t say that word!
Over here in NL they dub Dora in Dutch with the Spanish bits replaced by English (since everyone here is supposed to be able to speak it.)
But many words, like “open”, are the same in Dutch and English, so it just doesn’t make any damn bit of sense.
Kit kat bar theme- “Gimme a break, Gimme a break…”
Gimme three steps, gimme three steps mister…
Ok, now I am totally craving a Kit Kat! Me thinks the afternoon munchies have set in…
Some how that really doesn’t console me.
*squeeze anyway*
*squeeze*
Ok, I’ll try to be better. I don’t usually like to plant the worms anyway.
Well, this is just lovely. I come to the blog after 24 hours of being incredibly, painfully, miserably sick…only to get earworms.
Hmph.
*truly pitiful look*
Dragon, sick again?!?!
We need to isolate you like the bubble-boy.
Those bubbles are NOT dragon-resistant.
*squeeze*
Sowwy!
*smoooches your pity lips*
*weak as a kitten POUNCE!!*
And it’s more like “still” than “again”…I never shook off the first bug. Ah, the joys of being on immuno-suppressants.
But thanks, guys. It’s nice to be able to sit up again.
*squeeeeeeze*
You lay right here. I’ll attend to your every knead.
BEEP!
You have… one massage…
Great. Now AA will be sick too.
Well, at least they won’t spread it to anyone else… I hope.
.. and that’s why you never get between a dragon and her admiral…
That an you will get a severe beat down and 3rd degree burns to match.
Would you like some soup?
Yes, please. Though not non-seq’s chicken soup that makes people fall asleep. I’ve slept quite enough in the last 12 hours.
*hands over souper tasty, non-drowsy, creamy chicken verde soup*
It’s kinda spicy, but oh, so yummy!
Mmmmmmm. Tanks.
DW: Sorry to hear you are under the weather. Have a cuppa firewater. (Not as good as Dragon Grog, but it’ll warm you up.) Take care! *crawls off to re-immerse self in college finals*
Bring it!
Hmmm!! Should I try to incur wraith?
*thinks*
Ahhh, why not! LOL!
THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND, ROUND AND ROUND, ROUND AND ROUND, THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND ALL BAY LONG!
all BAY long?
YES
all BAY long!
got a problem with that lil’ tiger?
Huh? Do ya?
*flips tail around teasingly*
I make it a habit to not eat squirrels but if you keep tickling my nose with your tail I might make an exception.
*As a piece offering, offers a Hot McChicken Sandwich*
Here, it’s a bit too drippy for my tastes.
are you sure that’s chicken? it smells of fish
*Looks warily at the sandwich*
Ummm… thanks for the offer but I just became a temporary vegan.
*offers small stash of acorns as a return peace offering*
Baconlube™ anyone?
No.
That is truly a good one!
However the favorite neverending song right now is
OLD MCDONALD HAD A FARM
E-I-E-I-O!
ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT,
GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM…
Y M C A … stayin at the Y M C A…
Dancin Queen, only seventeen!
Dang comment got eaten…
.
Whoop there it is!
I know this much is True, earworms suck!
Yeah. I think I got one stuck in my head and I didn’t even post it. Talk about a backfire.
I watched Mamma Mia! yesterday.
Let’s just leave it at that.
There, there…
*pat pat pat*
I’ve had a plethora of ABBA songs chasing each other through my head all day.
“So when you’re near me, darling can’t you hear me…”
“Dancing Queen, young and sweet…”
“If you change your mind, I’m the first in line…”
This is the “pun run” that never ends,
yes it goes on and on my friends…
Holy crap…crow!
It’s lovely to see you again, my friend…
*squeeze*
Hiya Dragon, good to be back, I missed ya’all!!
Yesterday he was performing for me many times.
Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls!
Next up, the Alphabet from A to Z!
I apologize for not knowing what an “earworm” is.
…So burn up all your clothes.
…And the spectators.
Wow.. we sure put out some horrible horrible brainworms out there. I’d like rectify what I have done, and give you all a nice, feel-good worm:
Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world it’s turning inside out, yeah
I’m floating around in ecstasy
So don’t stop me now don’t stop me
‘Cause I’m having a good time having a good time
I’m a shooting star leaping through the skies
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I’m a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I’m gonna go go go
There’s no stopping me
I like how he throws the fire at the onlookers.
He just wanted to share!
They were former lovers; he was just trying to rekindle an old flame.
Nothing like adding a little spark to an old relationship…
He always had the hots for her.
But she flamed him a couple of times.
Even if you’ve been burned, it’s never too late to reignite the passion.
The Devil you say!
Yes.
His mother never taught him that it’s not polite to point when you’re dripping in burning lighter fluid.
My mother never taught me that either. What else can you tell me about the etiquette of being engulfed in flames?
I don’t know but David Sedaris wrote a book about it.
Go jump in a lake.
And always conga when your soul’s on fire.
Whatever happened to “Stop, Drop, and Roll?” That fireman evidently didn’t practice what they preach.
Fireman’s rule #1: Don’t let the doofus start a fire with gasoline.
Fireman’s rule #2: When something in you hand explodes into flames, set it
Fireman’s rule #2: Grab the extinguisher on the side of the truck.
Fireman’s rule #3: Face the man with a pressurized hose and yell loudly.
I would definitely have done the same…
“Hey, guys! Look what I can do!”
It’s all part of his juggling act.
I guess he is the one who started the flame war…
I’m the firestarter
twisted firestarter
We didn’t start the fire,
No we didn’t light it,
But we tried to fight it…
Yeah, I wanna be able to do that… someday… without having to get covered in it first…
wow…all comments above mine FAIL
sounds like someone has a case of the mondays.
Or they’re jealous that all the people that posted above hers can legally buy beer.
Of course there are some of us who should be able to buy it but have been politely asked by a judge to not do so.
Asked? Politely? Are you sure?
It was either:
“Blue2Fairy, I’m going to have to ask you to not purchase or consume alcohol for a period of no less than 12 months”
or
“Blue2thFairy, I’m boeing to hat flask pew cot purpose or cue all for aphed foe lockness tan 12 punch.”
Just how much had you had to drink immediately before the judge spoke?
Sounds like he had locknass tan 12 punch.
I’m sure it was the latter.
*Hands B2th a beer*
Thanks!
*shifty eyes*
*drinks beer*
Generally you aren’t supposed to be drunk when in front of the judge.
Where were you 6 months ago?
WHY?? What have you heard??? I wasn’t doing anything!
*shifty eyes*
I mean…I was here, knitting and drinking iced tea.
DW! *hugs*
Hi!
*hugs*
We’ve missed you!
Probably drunk.
ROFL
Obviously the latter! No right minded person, judge or not,
would request the first of a true Red Blooded Amercian
Male like yourself!
You can’t make “Lockness Tan 12 Punch” outside of Scotland!
Not legally, that is.
Note to Closet: Obliviously Stating the Obviously Obvious is Annoyingly Annoying!
And those of us who can legally buy beer but have never quite managed to do so due to a surprising number morons working retail. Between “you need to have a state drivers license” and “that ID is obviously fake, no way you’re 21″ and other gems I haven’t managed to buy alcohol since turning 21 yet I never had a problem before that. I don’t drink anyway but it would be nice to shake this jinx and be able to pick up beer for the hubby or wine for cooking.
Get a passport. They never seem to deny those. I had to show THREE forms of ID to drink when I turned 21. At 34 I STILL get carded from time to time.
I got carded at an airport recently. But they would have carded my grandmother. I always looked old for my age, so never got carded, even in high school. So that meant I was the “go-to guy” for classmates’ beer purchases. I hated that.
My senior year in high school, at 18, I looked about 15. When I was 21 I looked about 17. If it weren’t for the grey hair, I think I would look about 27 now. I got carded. EVERYWHERE.
My brother just turned 36 and still doesn’t look a day over 18. He’s 6′2″ and 140 lbs, with a VERY big appetite. I hate hanging out with him…jerk…
*grumbles incoherently*
Is he single?
*snork*
But 140 is SKINNY for a guy that tall!
Not after I cook for him!
The worst part is he can eat massive amounts of pasta, eats seconds of the massive amounts of pasta, and gains nothing…disgusting!
*starts ranting to self again*
Yeah, 140 is VERY skinny for a guy of that height.
.
*snork!*
I read Avis’ comment as, “Not after I cook him!*
Heeeee…! With a nice sage butter and truffled salt, no doubt!
And lavender!
“Here, hold this spring of rosemary in your teeth like this.”
^sprig
I’m gonna need a bigger oven.
Hee…! Yah, I’m feeling better, but not exactly spring-y yet.
But spriggy…I can do spriggy.
Sounds like someone has a case of STUPID, to be correct.
* Someone has a case of stupid.
What a great reloading function I have.
Firemen aren’t supposed to MAKE fire.
Fahrenheit 451
On a serious note, I want to give a big win to all the firefighters who battled valiantly against the Jesusita Fire.
“I’m on fire, so i might as well burn everyone else”
Ah damn! Second!
Do a barrel roll
Fox! You okay?
We’re entering Corneria City now…
FIRST
” i fell into a burning ring of fire” Johnny Cash
*removes one eagle*
Sung by Johnny, written by June Carter
Flaming retard…ant.
Call the neckst deaf-end-ANT.
Sofa King funny.
At least this one is fully dressed.
a little longer and he would not have been. (thank baby jesus for small favors)
So are you saying that the Differentially Disabled Ant is Flamboyantly Gay?
Combustible special-needs formicidian.
Harboring a burning resentment?
.
B2TH! Welcome back!
He’s just getting the crowed all fired up!
It’s just a little friendly fire.
But it might make his career go down in flames.
Think he’d be fired for that?
Anyone got a light?
Well he was lit when it happened.
I’m pretty sure he wasn’t just blowing smoke.
He would definitely be on the hot seat.
He’s simply fighting fire with fire.
Fire for effect?
Someone call Donald Trump!
I prefer Donald Duck.
Weee!
Fireman Sam wouldn’t have had this trouble.
This pretty much illustrates the difference between firemen and fire fighters… The latter actually puts out fires while the first inhibit superhuman powers like spontaneous combustion and shot flames from their hands!
*sneaks in an ‘ing’ right after shot*
The ing was always there!
*Jedi mind trick*
Shoting?
Ah.. Jedi mind trick not as powerful as it once was.
Might have something to do with the Jedi.
*inserts random star wars pun*
Oh man, that was hilarious! How did you ever find a rhyme for “Chewbacca?”
That’s just too funny.
*snork!*
they inhibit powers? what good is that going to do?
Hey, isn’t that Fire Marshall Bill??
Clickie!! ^^^
It sure is! Seems he forgot about “stop, drop and roll” in the heat of the moment, so to speak…
I think Fire Marshall Bill prefers to wait a good long time first.
Yeah, he likes to keep’em on pins and needles…
Remember, only you can prevent people fires.
But do I HAVE to?
This fail would suggest not so… go ahead and have fun!
jajajajajaja ….
se la baño ese bombero…
Firefighter or firehelper?…
Why is the intro still there?
Wold’nt failblog take of the intros?
That isn’t the intro you are thinking of.
And WTF is Wold’nt?
Wold’nt = Wold Not
Wold = “World” in lisp
“World not failblog take of the intros?”
Judge Ronald? Is that you?
I know what a wold is. Sorta. They have ‘em in England. But it’s a noun, so how do you conjugate a noun?
You defenitely wold knot.
On a serious note: a wold is an open area surrounded by grass and plants.
Ewww, I would never do that.
Liar. Get a few beers in you and you conjugate like a pro(noun)!
You know me all too well, I do enoy a f**king noun every so often.
Wold Wolda Wolde Woldin Woldes Woldnes
and to negate just add n’t.
There… an improperly conjugated noun.
Wolda, colda, sholda…
That’s like three words for this little gem: Fonly
lol.
Hehe,
wold knot?
*waves hands*
That’s not the intro you’re looking for.
Move along.
You can go about your business.
Lord of the Flame…
Ward of the sane…
Sneer of the dame.
Whore, don’t be plain…
Sore groping pains
More sloping plains…
Your open wang…
Euro poon-tang…
Sex on the brain…
Mexican train…
(I’m not sure, but it sounds kinda’ dirty)
snakes on a plane
Mary Jane…
Hairy cane…
*rolls eyes*
Slightly lame…
*Unsightly shamed*
Was that a train?
I wish i had flame throwing powers like this guy
“Psssst! Hey you, Jαмѕтєr come over here.”
*surreptitiously cracks open the lid of a huge heavy metal case*
*points inside* “LOOK!”
“ALL the freakin’ FIRE Power you’ll ever need!”
“It’s a Mark 17/XZ Plazma Torch… shoots 200 yards!”
*cops raid*
*sodomize Skwerlly Bob of FailBOG Co. Inc.*
*cops find that they have handcuffed and sodomized a representation of Skwerlly Bob craftily crafted of twigs and leaves!*
*chatters and flicks tail teasingly from very top of tree*
“In Soviet Russia fox fires YOU!!”
~ Russian reversal on Firefox
In the US Fox does more canceling than firing… (Brainless drones!)
Fireman evolves to charmander at 00:24 lol
Flame on!!
Fireman win.
Fire-extunguisher-man fail.
I got an extunguisher once.
My mother lit me on fire once…..once.
Did she put the fire out with her extunguisher?
No, she watched ‘Johnny Dangerously’ …weird huh?
Haha, I guess you should have had a fire extinguisher laying around somewhere. Fire extunguishers don’t always work.
With that aside, I have no idea what Johnny Dangerously is.
I figured as much. I’m soooooo 1984.
Psshh…I’m so 1991.
???
It’s a movie, it was made in 1984 and my original reply was a spin off of that….no worries.
No, I was question marking at Baconlube here.
First you have to go legit.
You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes… like yourselves.
*is trying not to hyperventilate from laughing*
*is not really succeeding*
*puts paper bag over Avis’s head*
I’ve long since recovered now, but thanks anyway.
*cuts out breathing holes*
HOLD STILL AVIS!!!
*ahem*
Exactly why are you doing this? You know I can GLOWER my way out of this right?
Anything but the glowering! There are still burn marks in the walls after you glowered a troll into a puddle!
I think we’re still cleaning up after the glowering contest with Leila.
Avis, you look like “The Unknown Comic” with that bag over your head.
*tears bag off of head*
*smirks*
my mother caught on fire once
Is it just me or did it look like he threw fire on those people on purpose?
Aye dios mio! Fuego!!
RAWR! – Is “I love you” in Dinosaur.
You took that in high school too?
*raises hand for high five*
*lowers hand for low five*
*pulls away when Blue2thFairy tries to slap high*
*punches bystander in the face*
*tail wags*
Obviously, I failed English.
*replaces 2nd high with hand*
*slaps the monkey poop out of monkey standing near*
Obviously you don’t see the ad.
if i’m on fire everyone’s on fire!!
Pyromaniac WIN
You removed the intro … to replace it with another one. Stupid.
It’s just the logo. Damn.
FIRONY!!!
It looked like he had pyrokinesis at one point when he threw that fire on a guy.
“Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap”
This is the first joke ever told. Just thought I’d share.
*blinks*
However the oldest British joke recorded is like…
“What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before?”
Answer: A key.
Dirty minds are eternal. Cavemen probably told fart and penis jokes.
Ahh…the Exeter Book of Riddles.
A good read, that. Those 10th century clerks had quite the naughty sense of humo(u)r.
Fireman fail??? Maybe MAN fail, but the FIRE part was just about right
Fail + Napalm = Failpalm.
*facepalm*
Face + napalm?
No thanks.
Why is this a Fail? It’s a win. After all he’s a FIREman, not a waterman or something.
Fire Win!
I would like to quote Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers:
“F-f-f-f-f-ffffire!”
I would like to quote Manuel in Fawlty Towers:
“I know nooothing!”
FAKE!!!
That video is so obviously photoshopped
Question, when you say photoshopped, you were implying that they added a picture into the movie. If you said muveemaked it might have been more appropriate but still a fail.
ur right, it’s not photoshopped, my bad.
Now i’m sure it must be paint-ed
i’m sure they threw an image of a running man behind the original video of flames
Even if that were possible, it’s still more amusing to think it’s real.
One dark night, while we were all in bed,
Old Mother Mary took the lantern to the shed,
And when the cow kicked it over, she woke us up and said,
“There’ll be a hot time in the old town tonight.
FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!”
I still can’t believe most of Chicago burnt down due to a cow kicking over a lantern.
That’s because it didn’t really happen that way.
True. A reporter made up that story…he admitted it later.
But wouldn’t it be a chuckle if it did happen. Then they find out that the cow was a serial arsonist.
The whole story was a bunch of hooey made up to blame the Irish for the fire. This was when the country decided it didn’t like the Irish, as they were probably the newest of the immigrants. The phrase “Luck of the Irish” was actually meant to be denigrating.
Is it related to the folklore story of the unfortunate Irish child. Who is riddled with bad luck so much so that his town exiles him. When all of a sudden the luck of the town goes awry. They ask him to return and he does. Supposedly he was the father of all leprechauns as he was small.
No. It was a sort of left handed compliment, meant to imply that the only way an Irishman could succeed was through luck. That they were lazy and incompetent. This country was really unkind to newcomers. Still is for that matter.
That is the case for most societies in general. Sad state, but it is what it is.
Granted, but for some reason we ended up with a lot of phrases that are meant to be really demeaning for this group. The sneaky underhanded part of this one is that none of those phrases SOUND particularly bad. Americans can be relly cruel. Rather like children if you think about it. Makes me sad.
So much for “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free”, eh?
When did we ever REALLY espouse that idea as a country?
*sigh* I need to get off my soapbox now.
Well I can grant you one thing, you country has a sense of identity. We on the other hand are having quite the crisis. Ask any American (what are you?) whats their background they will say American. You would have to ask what their heritage is to get it. Ask a Canadian what their background is they will give you their heritage. Excepting those in Quebec, natives and any others we pissed off as we came here, or if they are 15th generation Canadians.
I’m more likely to tell you what my family heritage is than say I’m American. I dislike the global opinion of Americans. That is to say I do not wish to be associated with that opinion.
I think I have a great sense of identity, but that identity has little to do with the country I call home.
Well I was speaking from generality of my own personal experiences. On a vacation, I asked a lot of people what they were, and found fellow Canadians wouldn’t say Canadian but say their heritage and I would ask how they spoke English, they’d say were from Canada. Americans tended to say American first. Though this happens even more according to our teachers that traveled abroad and friends as well have told me similar stories. But that is something I admire from the American people, as sense of unification, a belonging to a group proud of who they are. Not a nonchalant group of people together in an area called Canada.
I don’t know, being more than the sum of my parts, I can’t give a short answer to that question. And my countries politics have spoiled all of it for me.
I suppose that should be “country’s”. If I’m to be understood correctly.
Well in the end you are only who you want to be remembered by, I just want there to be moments in my life, where people will remember me for something I did or said, or the mere fact that I was there. To be a little recognized, not to go down in the history books. All this regardless of the nation that has claimed me a citizen of its empire.
lol, love it how hechucks the accelerant on the dude
I bet he teaches kids in elementary about safety with fire.
This reminds me of the idiot who drank the burning shot without blowing it out first.
I have drank a burning shot, fast, without blowing it out, without pouring it over myself. Straws are great. It was funny to see the fire go out as I got the last bit. It looked like I was drinking fire. I won a bet on this.
Then I guess the guy in the video I saw didn’t drink it fast enough. He was breathing fire as he got up to run for the bathroom sink.
Ah, the trick is to close you mouth and quickly extinguish the flame by pressing you tongue to both palates. But don’t tell him that, next time film it and post it on fail blog.
It’s from the internet. I can’t find the specific video anymore, but youtube has plenty of clips of idiots burning themselves with flaming shots.
How ironic life can be?
THATS A BIT ELEPHANTT
in Soviet Russia, fire starts you!
The best thing is when he lights the two other people on fire!
fake?
i doubt it
lets not get into a heated argument here
FIRE BAD! Catch!
This is a field exercise FAIL, I watched it in the news. Not a fake for sure IHA is a Turkish news agency.
My favorite part was the way he spun around and threw fire at the other people and caught that one guy on fire. xD
Ralph Wiggum? Is that you?
Fireman WIN. did what his title implied. he was a man on fire, spreading the joy.
ohhhh he totally threw a fireball at that guy!!!
Be afraid, Goomba. Be very afraid.
He must of ate a flower just before pouring on the gasoline.
First!
Oh noes! hand on fire! Quick throw the flaming petrol at the crowd and run!
Hadouken!
I see your hadouken and raise you a shoryuken!
I see your shoryuken and raise you a svicktenfergen! (the spinning kicks)
*reaches up and removes “svicktengergen” and replaces it with “tatsumaki kyaku”*
I just go by the sound I remember hearing.
great.
ed cheese
would be tasty toasted.
I could swear he staged this just to toss a MAGICAL fireball at that dude! *puzzled mind*
He must be a demon!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! WE’RE ALL DOOOOOOOOMED!!!!!!!!!
-Unless he’s just a fireman. There’s always that. *Wipes sweat off of forehead*
Gotta love when people like that screw up at something they’re trying to teach.
At least he didn’t shoot himself in the leg during a gun safety demo.
nice aoe
Hello to all of my fellow failbloggers.
As many of you know, I am going into the hospital for a month or so. I go in early Wednesday morning and since tomorrow promises to be hectic I shall say good-bye to all now.
To those who have not yet joined in the fun, but merely watched, I say, “Jump in. The water is fine.” Just apply the Golden Rule and you will be fine.
To the Trolls: Keep it up. The world needs more clowns.
To my friends (and that is everybody else), hone your razor wit and be careful whom you run through. Keep a list of any particularly good pun runs for me. Try to keep the flirting down to a R rating. There are minors about. Keep a list of the good bits in that as well.
To wrap this up I shall tick off the females. Gentlemen don your plumed hats, capes and rapiers, and look after the ladies.
I’ll see all of you on the other side of this.
Coyote
Coyote, *SQUEEZE* Our thoughts will be with you! And we’ll try to not eviscerate the trolls (or each other) too often. And more often than not we females end up sticking up for the guys!!!
I’ll be thinking about you, coyote. I look forward to chatting with you and hearing of your adventures upon your return. Keep those caregivers smiling–they’re as much a captive audience as you are a captive.
*HUG!*
R RATING???
As if. :p
Remember us, dear friend, as we shall certainly be thinking of you. Often. I look forward to sharing in your wit and kindness again soon.
*HUG*
Good luck, sweetie.
*big squeeze*
Bye! We'll miss you! Good luck with whatever you're going to the hospital for. I'll do my best to defend ma'ams from danger!*stands guard*
*gooses*
Best of all wishes!
From me too Coyote. *squeeze*
*SQUEEZE!* No worried Coyote! We’ll keep a few trolls for you to munch on when you get back. I’m sure you’ll be hungry.
Good luck and hurry back! We miss you already!
Sad to see you go, love to watch you leave. It felt right… Coyote, take care, be kind and show your true self. You will shine just as bright there as you do in our hearts. Till we cross paths again, may God keep you well.
*squeeze*
wishing you all the best for a speedy recovery and fast, safe return!!
Best wishes.
*plays Coyote by Joni Mitchell in his mind*
Best Wishes.
*squeeze*
You are always on my mind…
Awaiting your safe return, my friend.
*gives coyote pet mouse to keep him company*
No levitating from bed now, ya hear? ;
*squeeze*
firemen are great, they serve the public well, as for myself, i wouldnt even have the balls to run into a flaming building…
now that is indeed a FIRE-man.
YAY BURNING FIREMEN!
Wet T shirt contest!!!
I JOIN!
(FAIL)
and I dedicate this fail to my lonely and beautiful country…
we all have fun like him in here, hope and recommend you to come here..
to quote Steve Martin as the fire chief in “Roxanne”:
“we’re supposed to put them OUT!!!”
there’s a fail blog title card…
GET THE MARSHMELLOWS!!!!!
Kinda old. Think I saw this about 4 or so yrs ago
new meaning to flamethrower at :10
Is it just me or did he throw some of that on a businessman?
Wow….my friend’s eight-year-old knows, “stop, drop, and roll”, but a trained fireman apparently knows nothing but “run around flailing and spread the fire”. Firefighter training FAIL.
Chuck
I bet when he reflects back on this incident it really burns him up….
look its all on her body, her face, her hands, and shes throwing it onto someone else……..the fire that is
This isn’t a fail. It’s an uber win. Fireman makes fire.
Saddam??
“Why don’t I give everyone the opportunity to practice ’stop, drop and roll’?”
I liked when he threw fire on those guys. Classic.
Assassination attempt!!!
This is like something out of The Simpsons!
Fireman= guy who sets stuff on fire, srsly. )))))))))))
pass the flame.
This isnt even funny. Oh let’s watch a guy almost burn to death…hahhhaha that’s hilarious. Oh and we can watch a lumberjack get mutilated next time haha… it’s not even funny. The fail he did was kneeling with a match into gasoline or kerosene or lighter fluid or whatever. You’re supposed to throw a lighter or a match. That guy’s an idiot but still, i dont think that this is funny.
That’s kinda what Gambit from the X-men would do…
LOL! That really is Epic Failure..
No BURNIN LOVE there..
Hes not a fireman, Hes a firemage!
what a flamer
he’s throwing level 3 magic missiles..
0:11
firaga win
did they die?
did he die?
Im not goin down alone!!! lol
Shit- This is a WIN!
shitty puns,
he was doing ok… putting it out and everything. then he set like 3 other ppl on fire. lol
lol she/he threw fire at people she/he was more hazardis than the fire itself XD
i dont knwo if it was a she or not
rofl,right?
this gives a whole new meaning for the word “fireman”
Fire-throwing WIN