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Cheezburger Network Blog
Looks like my avatar!
Thar she blows!
not at all
bet when you blow your nose it smells like baconlube…
Watch out, these tissues give Swine Flu.
and it will give Swine Flu scare, which is ten times worse!
Don’t mention this around Bondfan. He tends to panic easily.
Hey! You poked your i out! You should be more careful.
Actually, Avis glared it right off. Leila repaired the “s” and Avis donated an unused “k”. I still haven’t located a good “i” yet.
Look down vvv
*gives brewski a good “i”*
All set already, but thanks for the offer. Perhaps you can donate it to a worthy cause.
*tosses fruitcake a bottle of Nyquil*
*quickly drinks down Nyquil*
Wait, it’s not night! I am…. *falls asleep*
Hm. I’ll have to remember that trick.
*starts buying Nyquil by the case*
*wakes up*
swine flu is also an STD
(Reference to previous fail comments.)
Great for a blow
No it do-nut!
It kinda does. Mookie’s got a hole lot of explaining to do.
Yes, butt will she? Maybe if we ass nicely then?
Be careful, she may give you a bum steer.
Yea.. after we stuff some papers in her hole.
It looks like donuts?
Is this a symptom of swine flu?
It’s a symptom of poor decorating taste, I know that much.
My nana had a flamenco lady in the bathroom; she kept a stash of bog roll under her dress. (The lady, not my nana! Though, now I mention it…)
I just thought those were the coolest things when I was little. Come to think of it, I’d probably put one in my bathroom now for the sheer kitsch value.
Let me guess… do you also have plastic pink flamingoes on your front lawn?
No! Not my darn pet flamingo!
Notice it’s in a car? It’s actually mobile poor decorating taste.
No, to be really poor mobile decorating taste the head would be bobbing up and down.
Uh, wait a minute….
tissue will come out of your dingdong?
Handy for when you get the sneezes!
Handy for when you need to wipe!
ouch
c==3
(_x_)
Kiss your ass?
Hehe!
X marks the spot!
Yarrr… there be treasure for a MightyPirate.
A chest full of midgetheads and potatoes? He’ll be thrilled!
This Friday is off to an inauspicious start. Bestiality and perverts. Pretty much par for the course.
I don’t know what you mean! I’m on my best behaviour here.
*looks up while shagging a sheep*
*smiles and waves*
*tortures sheep to death, eats it*
Do you need a disclaimer?
♪And when you see a can I see a crook
And when you see a crowd I see a flock♪
Dammit Arthur, you made me laugh again. My coworkers are starting to get suspicious! The yoga laugh-therapy one is no longer working.
I’m so (not) sorry.
( . )( . )
( o )( o )
_/(Y)\_
9_____^^.. reee!
]]—-[[–0
Granny, it took me several times, but I finally see what you drew!
*squeeze*
poor piggy!
It’s smiling, it likes it.
It rubs the baconlube or it gets the hose again.
Pissues.
*snerk*
Pigssues
*this is not a shoe*
Major animal rights issue.
omg i’m actually one of the first posters. can’t believe it
nope, not really.
one of… not the.
xD! Nice one!
If you would like to see another funny pictures look at flamez.net !
I’m sure your site is nice, but I think I speak for all of us here if I say we’d like you to take your spam comments to another site.
Or at the very least learn some basic grammar.
She’s probably a bot.
Double-use, obviously. But as soon as the tissues are empty you really need them.
More useful pushed inside?
After a while it would be hard like concrete inside of it. Could spoil the fun.
(*changes ‘double’ in previous post to ‘dual’*)
You’d just bang your end away.
Break on through to the other side?
Bustin’ up or bustin’ out?
HAHAHA
*laughs with czuhc*
*cackles*
What a fertile mind you have, Arthur!
You misspelled ‘perverted’.
That’s inexcusable, as it’s Lou’s pet name.
The tissues must be its small intestine
lol boomboom……i am to i feel hapy
So a piggy can wipe before the sh*t even leaves? *made self gag*
It’s super pig, I guess. *waits for silly reply referencing spider-pig*
That is just offal Jam.
thats weird theres another big in the backround smiling at its friend haveing open surgery. mean pig.
Maybe this little piggy is the sixth one that cleans up after the one that goes wee-wee-wee all the way home!
Little pig, little pig let me come in?
Not by the hairs of my ****?
Eggs?
Huevos rauncheros.
Huevos rancheros*.
*ahem*
She knows that. Play on words, Capitan.
*had huevos rancheros for lunch yesterday…*
Hopefully these huevos were hair-free.
(mornin’ Mal!)
Thanks, Sidhe. I wasn’t around to defend myself.
Only if they’re teabagged.
*jinxsqueeze*
No self-squeezing during work hours!
*wags finger*
Oh! Is self-squeezing considered wanking? Uh-oh!
(Mookie really DID jinx me. That jinxsqueeze was supposed to be under her comment!)
You can squeeze so hard it could make a horse collapse!
Hawse? I always call ‘em dah-lin’!
Timing is everything! *jinxsqueeze*
*shampoos*
I tried to ‘phone the Swine Flu Helpline, but all I got was crackling.
*snort*
I suppose it’s my fault for telling porkies.
It’ sow your fault I snorted, Babe!
If you hang on the line long enough they send you some oinkment. *cringes*
Don’t cringe! The rasher’ll be gone soon.
*squeeze*
Did you know it takes 12 pigs with dermtitis to make a box of pork scratchings?
*thinks “Do they have pork scrathings in the USA?”*
*thinks again – “well they have cheese in a can so they may have”*
I do believe you’re referring to what are sold as “pork rinds” here. Deep-fried pig skin. I wouldn’t touch those with a nine-foot rod.
When I finally got though to the operator she kept calling me Babe.
Soon you will end up on her plate in the form of ribs. This world is cruel indeed.
And delicious!! *Hands Leila a plate of balkopan*
*ribs Leila*
Baconlube production. You wring the tissues into the bottle.
No. No. No. I OBJECT!
You’re an object? COFF or ELF format?
*runs linker*
*looks around for MRN, cause nobody else will get this joke*
And I thought people ran out of funny things to reply to permanent OBJECTion…
*gets the joke*
I don’t get it. Maybe you can explain it to me.
Geek humor, if you could even call it “humor”. Computer programming. If you really must know:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_code
new BaconLubeFactory.createBottle().squeeze().apply(theMoomin);
Bieflapjes.
Knipoog. (I guess that doesn’t fit, but I like it!)
Apparently this translates to Dental Hams.
swineflu win
Today is Friday, there will be no:
Baconlube
Self-squeezing
Back door treasure hunting
and *insert everything else here*
Says you.
*Baconlubes LEILA, inserts her in back door, squeezes shut*
Hee!
AAAAAAaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!
WTF?
You should really lock your back door, there’s thieves about!
*is currently ignoring all innuendo*
What goes around comes around. That’s what you get for commiting all those sex crimes yesterday.
*squeeze*
*replaces ‘o’ with ‘u’, removes ‘e’*
That’ll do pig, that’ll do.
Well, I gotta do my time then. *sigh* No excuse for sex crimes.
Dear God in heaven! “Everything” will not fit!!!!!
*inserts* Can you hold my purse for me?
Is it made of silk?
>Is it made of silk?
you must know by now you can’t make a silk purse out of a pig’s ear.
Congrats! You got it!
Is it made of MILF?
Of course not. Sow’s ear.
*squeeze*
Hello, mrs_z!
The tissue kind of looks like a Mr. J’s homemade condom
Maybe it’s a female pig?
Yes, the male pig dispenses lotion.
Maybe it’s just her time of the month then.
She dispenses her own tissues for those teary, hormonal moments?
Or maybe she put the tissues in!
*rocks back an forth in a corner, trying to erase the memories*
Exactly. Sanitary Napkins.
Actually, I think you are right. A boy piggy’s thang is actually shaped like a corkscrew. I shite you not.
I’m from the country, obviously, and you learn all kinds of things out here that city folks don’t. And you see all kinds of things you sometimes would rather not, but animules don’t tend to be subtle about things, or inhibited. Or self-conscience or easily embarrassed or have good manners. Kind of sounds like city people…
Well it snout a boy pig is it?
Damn…nesting failure! GV this was for you! *sigh*
This happened to me, too. Shouldn’t have had that 12th cup of coffee…
*inspects comment*
*tries to lift*
*extra comment makes it too heavy*
Oh well, thanks anyway
Mookies was better! You can leave it here if you like.
What ever works.
*g’morning squeezes for all*
*squeezes Boobie Trap*
Hey! Let go! I was just being nice!
*finally dares to squeeze boobs since Sidhe is caught in the trap*
*squeezes Boobie’s boobies*
I squeezed a girl and I liked it!
WOW!
You guys sure make Friday’s fun!
I would bow, but um… I seem to still be in your trap here. Not that it’s unpleasant, mind you, just that it may appear a bit strange with a winged cat fondling your boobies in public. Just sayin’…
*roffle*
A winged cat’s gotta do what a winged cat’s gotta do!
*Snicker*
Just sayin’…
*Wonders how many can be trapped at once.*
Maybe another name change is in order for
public decency?
Suggestions?
I quite liked your first one! I think we should abbreviate it to SrSr for Arthur’s benefit.
Srrsly, I liked srrslysrry.
Boobs aren’t bad…
If I switched to Boobs though…
I might be confused with Skwerly Bob.
We can’t have that!
I’ve never squeezed a Skwerlly Boob!
*Snots Diet Pepsi through nose*
OW!
Sorry for the unlady-like behaviour.
*blows nose*
Pfft!
oops… sorry
excused, you know if you hold those in, you could explode.
*UnBoobulates the captured for good behaviour.*
Ahh! Now I can fly off to the next Fail!
*bats lashes*
Arthuh dahlin’, don’t! stop!
*takes away unneeded exclamation mark*
*likes it better with! both!*
So did! I!Fine
*re-adds unneeded exclamation mark back to sidhe’s comment*
It’s not unneeded, FruitSA! It’s supposed to be that way. Don’t you get it?
*squeeze*
Man, those history studying really messed up my mind! Now I have a problem with “FruitSA”… (Although not as big as my problem with “SS”)
I don’t understand, but I won’t use it again.
*squeeze*
*gets confused*
*squeezes back*
I was squeezing Arthur, Fruit! You need to go to bed and sleep some more.
*squeezes Fruit*
Oops! Sorry, I guess you are a bit over-ripe.
The SA was a Nazi-organization of 4 million (at their peak), mainly used to fight the “war for the streets”. After 1934 they were deprived of power and mainly used to collect money and stuff like that. Their next “big” moment came in 1938 when the German synagoges where burning…
.
Too much info, I know. Sorry.
Yikes! Forgive me, Arthur. I am lax in my History memory (for abbreviations, anyway.)
Nothing to forgive here. I certainly don’t expect everybody from around the world to know everything about German history – hell, I’m far from knowing everything about that!
Why, ah do behlieve you’ve found me out!
*fans self*
Ah, and so we learn why the Wolf was trying to blow (down) the 3 pigs!
He huffed and he Puffed?
To be fair, he did give an ultimatum first…
-stares-
Foreplay to hanky-panky?
-dares to stare back-
He wasn’t one to stand around picking his nose.
If he had known the piggies had tissues he
wouldn’t have had to use their houses to blow
his nose… Or maybe they offered and he was
like “No way!”
He’ snot one to dicker.
*huff puff pass*
*puff huff pass*
And I would’ve gotten away, if it wasn’t for those meddling kids!
Two pigs, one…?
nevermind…
…tissue at a time.
BACONLUBE+ SWINE FLU FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Moomin? Your turn!)
I would have suggeted the
-step. But ok, I’ll go with the flow.
*s
*tickles Arthur*
Yep, realized I missed the smiley after I posted. Oh well.
(Tag!)
Moin! How do? BTW, I found your missing ‘i’. Want it back?
*takes Arthur’s extra “i”*
Thanks! Much better.
I am so ready for a weekend. Say, are you enjoying your new plants? What did you get, cannabis?
Hehe, no, unfortunately not. A variety of plants for our balcony, plus two … don’t know the English expression… permanent torches (?). They burn lamp oil. You know what I mean? Looks great now! That’s when spring and summer really start for me; it gives me a big smile every day!
I’ve been working in my garden all week, been having a blast.
Garden?
*jealous*
yes, I have finally bought a house that has a large side yard for fruits and veggies and wild flowers. I am loving it. In fact, I am only going to be here for a short while today, I have to go get more soil and seed.
Lamp oil? Rope? Bombs? *you know exactly where I’m headed
*
Sounds excellent! I believe the common term in USA is “tiki torch”, so you got it correct. Nothing says summer like lounging on a deck/balcony with the torches burning!
Thanks! Kinda strange expression
.
That’s it! A beer or a good wine, all the flowers around, tiki torches… Don’t need more to enjoy a summer night (except my gf and/or friends).
The Idea is cute… But… well…. wrong position for the tissues… XD
If you think H1N1 is cute, then you’re definetly right!
*destroys ‘definetly’ and puts in definitely*
*sneaks back to evil lair*
Nothing ever happened!
NOTHING!
*becomes suspicious of wolfgang’s misdeeds*
*becomes suspicious of FruitcakeSolvesAll’s suspicion*
*becomes suspicious of octo-mom*
*becomes suspicious of headcold.*
*becomes suspicious of WIK’s pic*
You should be, it only LOOKS like a beautiful butterfly, but in reality is more deadly than a black mamba.
How’s it more deadly then a black manba? Is it as deadly as a poison-dart frog?
Should we call you Schultz? (sp?)
Me?
Um, nooo. I “replied” to Wolf^.
*gives Fruitcake a Vick’s inhaler*
*examines inhaler and quickly eats it*
*steals inhaler*
MUAHAHA!
*feels guilty*
*gives back*
sorry ’bout that.
*asks wolfgang for a wiimote*
This little piggy does not have Pop-up Blocker.
If you carrot all, you’ll help me with a vegetable pun-run!
Can we not stick it with the meat?
Peas go along with the veggy pun-run.
Peas stop meking puns!
DARN IT!
Why veggies? You been practicing?[inserts potato]
:l
:-l
I seem to have forgotten how to do this one.What the heck? What character did you use? Not | apparently.
Was that you on the voting page, disarming that samurai?
It’s
(the shift+\)
:/
:\
*runs screaming from the room*
Ok, hold SHIFT, the press \, it shall make a long straight line. before that line put : and you’s gots a smiley of boredom!
Tada!!SUCCESS!
♪We are the champions, my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting, till the end
We are the champions –
We are the champions
No time for losers
‘Cause we are the champions! of the world!♪
i dont carrot all
Orange you just a party pooper *converts pun-run to fruit&veggies*
banana
Grapes*places a strawberry gently on Ninja’s head*
*eats strawberry*
*uses needle to sew a cloth for Ninja’s sai’s for cleaning*
*steals strawberry away before ninja eats*
*destroys every last remaining evidence of jamal jeffries existence from the face of the earth*
*places empty basket on space that used to be jamal*
WAY too slow.
*summons starfish with a starfruit*
*reincarnates with the help of Dr. Manhatten*
*redestroys jamal along with Dr. Manhattan*
*takes remains of Dr. Manhattan and uses them to help make a new frankenstien*
Do you need any assistance here, ninja?
Unfortunately I’m not trained in martial arts. But I could fart in their general direction. Or I could tell them their mother was a hamster and their father smelt of elderberries.
Wouldn’t that be tantamount to throwing pearl onions before swine?
wow we have some great designers in this world
Mornin' evabody!G’day to you too Sir ninja
Hi. *squeezes Ninja*
*squeeze*
*sneakity squeeze*
*playful squeeze*
*bat bat bat*
Oh, you’re a cat now?
Pssst, look at the name.*looks at name*
Now what?
*facepalm*
*takes facepalm*
*sells facepalm on eBay*
Well you were sidhe belle before and now you’re sidhe cat. So you morphed into a cat from a belle.
Just ‘cos I’m a cat, does that mean I cannot also be a Belle?
Cat is what I am, Belle is … oh never mind.
cantalope
You cantalope do that.
you cannot use cantalope fore a pun
I just did.
how did you get the smiley??????????????
Which one?
Cool I’ll have to remember those ones. I already knew roll, but I forgot to put it in there lol.
your a penis
your happiness depends on my penis
Your dolphin depends on my extra set of wiggly eyebrows.
its in the blowhole or nothing
*wiggles eyebrows*
*Sprays*
HAHAHA!
WIN!
That name is very origional! *sarcasm*
*starts punching himself*
*begins muttering “Why am I on Fail Blog? Why am I on Fail Blog?”*
I got to study for my Spanish Final today, wish me luck everyone!*wishes luck*
Wait…. Why would a Ninja need to know spanish?
For the International Ninja Convention.
I’ll be serving free nachos!
Good luck! And don’t come back, unless your exam is finished!
*goes to next fail*
¡Buena suerte!
buena suerte amigo.. qur te vaya bien en ese dificil examen =P
f uck spanish
………………………………and you ninja dude
That’s some pig!
HOT! Its even got a cape hanging out of its…er….pig vagina
You’ll get swine AIDS too
i would still like to stick my penis into it
The new FLESHLIGHT model.
Does anyone need to say it? Oh well. DICK. SNEEZE.
This has WIN written all over it.
I think that is how the swine flu spread…
*bows*
Use it for the swine flu! xD
I’d like one of those.
It’s so adorable and funny at the same time, a pig dispensing tissues from its belly button.
that’s what she said?
This should be “Tissue Dispenser Win” instead.
tacos are awesome.
Puff-suey!
This is beginning to make me think that things like this (as show in previous failblog pics) are not actually sold in real life but are made by a company specifically to amuse others rather than be sold for practical use. There’s just an inordinate amount of idiocy about where things should be pulled from. It’s too much to be a simple coincidence series of human retardation.
Aw… My p**** Aah!! I’m cumming XD
Oh gosh…. I sooo want a child to use THAT tissue…. XD