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What was he thinking.
Thinking????
You got a point.
I would have tried to do that too! How else can you impress girls if you have a small one?
Yeah…brains, humo(u)r and kindness are SO much less important than whether or not you can do a flip. Good thinking, there.
HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
No, they don’t. They really, really don’t.
Avis – you and Dragon can stop wasting your time. This one isn’t worth it. I predict he’ll be gone soon enough.
Oh, I wasn’t really arguing with him. Just pointing out what an idiot he is.
Though in truth, he did that well enough all on his own.
*Does a flip*
How do you like your pancakes? I’m sure that impressed you two femmes.
Pancakes?! GIMME GIMME GIMME!!!!!!! *loses her will to resist*
I got many kinds, banana, chocolate chip, strawberry, blueberry, banana chocolate chip, cinnamon, the list goes on.
*snatches a chocolate chip waffle*
*is left standing awkward*
Why would someone want to snatch something I’m handing to them?
Life is so much funner that way.Life is MORE FUN that way, isn’t it?
That was for ME Ninja!! Give it BACK!!! I want chocolate.
*Hands Leila a new chocolate pancake.*
*curtsies* TY Emperor. *devours pancake without syrup for fear Ninja would snatch it away* Anyone got soy milk please?
Sits in corner, eyeing pancakesLevitates ALL the pancakes to the corner and shares them with Ninja.
*sneaks a side of bacon onto LEILA’s plate*
Geesh, I don’t arrive ’til late and what are they all doing? Eating without me…
*rofl*
*offers WN a large plate of blueberry pancakes*
Here! I’ll share mine!
Thanks
I feel better now.
Any syrup left?
i hope this post gets me into the subliminal message added at the end of each video o.o
Impressing the ladies with a neck brace. Oh yeah, smooth!
I love pancakes! Do they come with blueberries?
*squeeze*
Yes and an extra bit of love for everyone.
*Spreads the joy in pancakes of every flavo(u)r (Hands out pancakes)*
Nummers!
*stuffs multiple pancakes into mouth*
Fanks!
*is now embarassed about unlady-like behaviour*
No worries, I used a beach towel to hide it from view, no one saw anything. I REPEAT NO ONE SAW ANYTHING.
My hero!
Just doing my job ma’am.
*squeeze*
Hey! I saw that! and give me back my beach towel.
*reaches for blueberry pancake – forgets about towel*
And I predict flips will one day be recognized as an afrodesiack
Not until he learns how to spell. And even then it’s doubtful.
“you guys” Not he, and “learn” not learns.
I need the bukkit.
what’s with the you guys classification…hmmmm?
I only see one of him.
Are you suggesting that all men are like him?
Sorry, no, I was trying to salvage my post. I was trying to multi-task again.
I thought for a minute I was going to have to throw rocks at you.
^^^would not have enjoyed that.
Not a good idea in any case, as we all live in glass houses at times.
Do we, Emperor?
So we do. I had no idea the walls in my house were all made of glass.
.
I’m scared.
Or you could find a girl that would appreciate all the extra effort you will put into the relationship, to compensate for your little member.
It's just a phrase.Sweets, it’s not the size of your member that’s causing your problems.
I am looking right at you, waving… now jumping.
*tries with all of his might to get bf’s attention*
*slowly turns to walls and screams*
Or in BFF's case...Wow. And he just continues to prove my point, doesn’t he?
They aren’t usually so accommodating.
Dragon, this one is like a UPS guy, he even packages himself up for you.
………………………/’ /)
………/´ /)………/¯ //
……,/¯// ………/…//
…../…//. ……./¯ //
…./´¯/’´ ¯/´¯ /…/ /
…/’…/… ./… /…/ //
.(‘(…´(… ……. ,../’. .’)
..\………. ….. ..\/…./
..”…\…. ….. . _.•´
….\……. ….. ..(
…..\….. ….. …\
☆┌─┐ ─┐☆
│▒│ /▒/
│▒│/▒/
│▒ /▒/─┬─┐
│▒│▒|▒│▒│
┌┴─┴─┐-┘─┘
│▒┌──┘▒▒▒│
└┐▒▒▒▒▒▒┌┘
└┐▒▒▒▒┌┘
…_…|..__________ __________, , )…..__
……/ `—___________—- _____|]….||__)
…../_==o;;;;;;;;__ _____.:/
…..), —.(_(__) /
….// (..) ), —-”
…//_____//
..//_____//
.//_____//
Does it work?
LittleRichardMale is a strange case alright.
He does seem to be a little Tutti Frutti.
.
Hello Coyote! Hope all is well as well can be.
Doing fine, thank-you. All is well with you too I trust.
Make something funny out of what I say!
Those are just the detail, you see dragon, if you can do a front flip, well that tells the girl you can do a front flip, and she will looove you for that.
(*hopes he has transmitted the sarchasm well*)
Clicky for a laugh, as always its safe.
That definition rocks!
Adds “s” to detail. Many thanks gray. Though I saw it on a shirt first, it said sarchasm: the gulf(chasm) between one of sarcastic wit and one not able to grasp it.
I likey!
If the kind of girl you are trying to impress, only likes you for the size of you dick,
it seems to me you’ve gt a fairly shallow girl on your hands. Perhaps good for the occassional f#*%- however if you’re looking for something a bit more substantial/long term, these are not the kind of girls you want to attract.
Ugh, typos suck. I fail at life.
Not to worry; you seem to do fairly well at M/F relationship philosophy
So to get this strait.
Did you just confess to all the ppl reading the useless comments from around the world, that ur wiener is actually hardly as big as a cigarette butt?
Nice going idiot. This should be in the failblog spotlight tomorrow
“splotsh”
Acrobatic exfoliation WIN!
I just liked the “thump” sound
Ouch probably.
I don’t think that guy has the intelligence to feel pain.
He does, it’s just delayed some.
are you sure? he kinda looks like… rush limbaugh.
“I’m gonna make it, I’m gonn-” Then his brain broke.
He has a brain?
Yeah, but it wasn’t being used.
So, no harm no foul then?
Oh, I think he bruised his most valued possession.
Are you referring to the ego he seems to have lost now?
He has a brain, and he was using it at capacity when he was thinking of 4 words.
Ow Ow Ow Ow?
well, I meant the ones I typed (4 Different words) but that works even better!
jump, rotate, stick landing?
lather rinse Repe- wait, that’s three.
Jizz in my pants
Turns out, you don’t really need one!
Exactly! That’s why I sold mine on eBay
confucius say, “man with big butt much lighter with empty head.”
sold a long time ago on ebay.
Description was *like new, low miles*
I bought On eBay
My house
Is filled with
This crap
Shows up in Bubble wrap. . .
lol, Monsters vs Aliens ftw
Nose-Dive-WIN !!!
underestimated angular velocity win.
Sand win.
He fancied a really big sandwich.
Ah, the Bad Pun Police have just arrived.
He was thinking about doing a flip to impress the hot chicks around.
That’s what you get for showing off.
You can HEAR him land in the slow-mo.
You can actually see his pride being destroyed in the slow-mo.
You can also see his dignity sinking into the sand.
I thought that was blood.
As his head bobs you can see his ego escape, just before the sand rushes in to fill the void.
I like the part where each individual grain of sand laughs at him, all in tiny little sand voices.
There’s a grain of truth there.
What happen' to the intro??Boggy ate it? :S
No more intros, they won the two awards.
Sarcasm. All the people whined about the old one.Stupid people.
I’m sorry to say, but I didn’t like it. They didn’t have to get rid of it, though. I just clicked the bar further down after the intro…skipped it. it worked for me. Sorry to all who did enjoy.
*agrees w abstract and waits to be punished*
*punishes LEILA*
*Holds back starfish*
Whoa, one is enough.
*dumps baconlube on Starfish so he can slip out and finish punishing*
*Uses, sand from fail to dry up baconlube, so that starfish is all crsuty.*
*switchers “s” and “u”
Nobody likes a crusty starfish.
*crawls home to rinse off*
*gently soothes LEILA*
Aaaaw … thank you abstract. I feel better now.
I OBJECT!!!
What?
-
*pounces Nellie*
Stop that Ayn! You’re disturbing the space-time continuum!
LEILA!!!!!
HI!
*Leila deserved to be punished…?*
No Effin way!!!
HI!!! *waves*
-
Haven’t seen much of you lately.
Food poisoning will do things that you really don’t like to your body.
So does eating *insert any animal here*!!!!
*inserts Starfish there*
*goes back to staring at DW’s ches…err…face*
Uh Oh!! *runs and hides* Are you suicidal today? You never stare at a woman’s chest. Never!
*lets the air out of GrayMatterZ’s tires*
continuation of posts below VVVVVV
*puts sugar in his gas tank*
They started it….
I was just looking at a car and they both slapped me for it.
Ooh, thanks sweetie. I was going to choke/throttle him, myself, but that works too!
You know how I like to flatten ‘em.
*eerily floats out of the room with his head down*
*DOT ORG!*
OK really gotta get some work done, bye all!
Bye! C-ya later, gator!
In a while, crocodile!See you soon baboon.
Bye, guy.
Toodles, noodles.
Later skater.
Doe-doei!
That looked like an intro to me. I thought he promised they were eliminating all intros.
He showed gritty determination to have a go.
That boy’s got sand.
He showed true grit.
anyone know why my comments are dying mid-transfer?
Mine are too. I just thought it was my internets being wonky.
Negatory.
You both forgot to brush your teeth this morning.
The interwebs are getting more refined of late.
By next week it will be black tie only.
*shops for a black tie online* What do you wear a black tie with?
A top hat and tails.
That’s what I call Puttin’ on the Ritz!!!
Do Moomins were black ties?
*tries to smell own breath*
DID TOO!!!!!
I think he polished off too many beers.
He took landing for granite.
and grits
Apparently there’s a sandbank at the shallow end of the gene pool.
This one’s more of a sand spit.
He can’t reproduce the way he’s stranded.
Maybe he’ll need a shoal-der to cry on.
There was no tide in the affairs of that man.
No matter, he’s just a drifter.
man who jump crick better have paddle
Frankly, he had no idea what he was dune.
Damn amateurs.Show them how it’s done, ninja!
*performs a quadruple front flip, goes into a double back flip, cracks open an ice cold Bud Lite, and then vanishes before hitting the ground*
*gives standing ovation*
*puts Ovation back in case to protect it from sand abrasion*
*pushes General BondFan4518 MD of the 3rd Witty Comments Countering Trolls Division, Earl of Huntingdon-on-Thames, occasional judge/BFF News back down*
its impossible to trun a front somersault into a back tuck withought touching the ground.DUH
*watches in awe and stands up and claps* Yay! Do it again.
Where did he go?
*pops up behind LEILA*
*sneaky squeeze*
whaaa…Heeeeeeeeee!! I have an extra squeeze if anyone needs it since I have no idea who did a sneakity squeeze on me.
*Raises hand*
Oooh, me-me! Pick me!
…and then wakes up.
Wow! That was incredi…Hey – I just got that outta the fridge! Come back here!
*suddenly, empty can appears back in Judy’s hand*
Can I commission you to steal me a case of bud light lime? I can oly pay you in WOW gold.
Bud light??
I’ll take an Ommegang Hennepin. Or perhaps a nice Trappist Ale like Trappiste Rochefort.
Their tongue-out smiley sucks…
*substitutes good ol’ fashioned :p for above*
Some of us are happy with our overcarbonated pisswater, thenkewveddymuch! Enjoy your ales!
Mmmmmm, pisswater! Would that be PBR? Miller? Budweiser? Longhorn?
Stout me, please.
Ladies and gentlemen!
I give you THE ONE,
THE ONLY
*the crowd goes wild*
BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG NINNNNNNNNNNJA!!
He’s nimble,
He’s quick,
Quite over the top,
He always bedazzles,
Never had a flip flop!
*and the crowd goes wilder*
FFF!
Failblog wins at alliteration!
All alliteration aside, this guy’s assonance is obvious.
Hehe, forgot to press “Reply” button
or not.
(cough)
AAAAAAAAH!!!! SWINE FLU!!!!
*runs around in circles with arms in the air*
Bondfan, you really need to break this habit of running around and screaming. You’ll panic the civilians.
*hoses BFF down*
*is thrown back into wall*
Ooooof! Thanks for that, I had a panic moment.
Perfectly presented piont.
*pionts @ Starfish*
Starfish’s spelling sometimes sucks.
*begins to beg for bukkit*
*withholds bukkit*
You bukkit tease.
I don’t think it’s a bukkit deserving offence.
ALL misspellings are bukkit deserving offenses.
Who says? I mean, even bukkit which is meant to serve as punishment is misspelled. What do we learn from it?
I’m afraid Ms B is correct.
And we learn exactly what we need to learn from it.
Time after eternal time.
Sorry Starfish, I tried. I will share bukkit w/you if you want.
Thanks LEILA. I made my bukkit, I can lie in it.
*Curiously eyes starfish, lying in bukkit of lima beans.*
Wait, I like lima beans. WTF kind of punishment is that?
So what sort of garden can you have at the beach…?
Faceplants!
AAAAAAAAAAhahahaha!!!
Hee! Hee!
Hey, Dragon! How are ya?
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
I’m so happy that school is over!! I’m going to do another dance of joy right here in my living room.
*dorky dragon-dance of happiness*
*picks a frolicking tune on the old banjo*
*squeeze* Yah Dragon! Congrats! Welcome to summer?
Do you get burned when you squeeze a dragon?
Only if said dragon has a fiery temper.
Hehehe…
*plants a smoooch!*
Hee…! Those grow in my garden particularly well.
*smooooch!*
*wraps arms around you tendrily*
That’s what you get for trying to show off!
HAHAHAH!!!!
almost lucky 7. I would have laughed 10 times harder if he had landed on those girls in the background!
Me too, the things guys will do to impress girls. *shakes head*
I know. Mostly unnecessary, too.
My Andy had me at “hello”.
Ignore innuendo! Must not make rude comment!
That restraint must come in handy; I wish I had it.
“…I wish I had it”? Why oh why do you people torture me so with these straight lines?
‘Cuz that’s what’s going down on the blog today, coyote.
I know what you want. You want me to say that your saying, “going down” really sucks. Well I’m not going to. So there.
Are we that hard up for hilarity now?
Has it come to this?
I’ll bite, has it?
Shame on all of you!
Wait, don’t stop! Faster!
Wow! Took almost 12 hrs for this pun run to be consummated!
Oh dear, I’ve come too late, haven’t I?
Mind forged manacles do tend to be hard to break free of.
Yeah, cause we all know that every girl is impressed with what we “know”, not what we can “do”.
Smart girls do it better.
“I’ve got legs! D’you like bread??”
I’ve got a Fre. . .
I can’t say it.
*snorkroffle!*
*scratches head in confusion*
Smart girls can do what we guys “do” better than us?
Really?!?!?!
OMG, it’s the end of civilization. Men are no longer needed.
That’s not what I said.
Is to,
Is to, Is to. Nannynannybooboo.
*thwacks GrayMatterZ with shellacked mackerel*
DAMN!
Is this beat the sh*t out of graymatterz day?!?!
Don’t make me go all “Carrie” on you.
Well, there was more beating Fruitcake on the previous fail. You’re still better off than he ended up!
I think you mean “Christine”.
actually…it was Carrie for the telekinesis references.
HOWEVER, Christine will also do just fine in this instance.
Careful or Avis will flock you up.
The only thing that would scare me about that is the flock of birds flying at me ON FIRE
I’m sure I could round up a phoenix or twenty.
You’ve never heard of a Firebird?
Oh, oh...Um, did you know that these...What were they?...anyways, there were these one things that were supposed to, supposed to...What were they supposed to?...oh well, they actually did, um...I forget. Anyways, it was really interesting.Oh! I heard about those! They. . . um. . . well it doesn’t matter because what actually happens is. . . well I can’t say that here.
Ohhh Ohh Ohhh…I remember that…saw it on this one show about things….yeah it was really cool, i think, maybe…anyway what it said about it wa
WOW look at those headlights!!!
*slaps GrayMatterZ*
Look at my FACE when you talk to me, bub! :p
*slaps GrayMatterZ for no reason* Look at Dragon’s FACE buddy!!!!
OWOWOWOW!!!
Wow.
I just happened to see a really pretty car. What the hell’s wrong with that?!?!?!?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Thats exactly what guys are looking for.
Us to laugh AT them? Wouldn’t it be better to laugh WITH someone?
No….I was thinking more along the lines of getting my head shaked, but I will pick my mind back out of the gutter. *bangs on street sign accidentally, forgets math*
*snork*
What exactly does snork mean?
*tries math…two plus the batman symbol equals the letter H. That sounds right.*
It’s kind of like a snort, combined with laughter. It generally means I thought your comment was funny.
It’s also incredibly important to keep a good count of them.
e.g., “snork count = 1″
Otherwise, they can multiply and destroy civilization (as we know it).
You realize I can’t do math anymore right. Is 1 like a lot. I think we are doomed I have seen several snorks already today. (the silliness is dangerously high)
Have you lost your ability to use question marks, too?
Here…I have some extras.
?????????
I have some extras as well. See? extras extras extras extras extras extras extras extras extras.
NEWS EXTRA: EXTRA SHORTAGE OF EXTRAS
Your name seems to be getting extra long.
You just have extra long on the mind, coyote.
*SNORK!*
For God’s sake don’t encourage her Judy.
*innocent look*
*grin*
Encourage away, Judy. She’s one of the really bright lights hereabouts.
*blink*
Why, theng-kew!
A snappy pun and well timed quip,
May slightly touch the heart,
But it’s feigned innocence and coyness
That polishes the dart.
~My apologies to Burns
George: [looking at Gracie, who is arranging a large vase of beautiful flowers] Grace, those are beautiful flowers. Where did they come from?
Gracie: Don’t you remember, George? You said that if I went to visit Clara Bagley in the hospital I should be sure to take her flowers. So, when she wasn’t looking, I did.
~ My apologies (actually, a small tribute) to Burns and Allen
DW, a true compliment, heart felt.
OMG – I did that once. Turned to wave Hi to someone I knew driving by, turned back around, and *thwack!*. The sign? “Stop ahead”.
It did.
lol!!!! my bff in middle school did that on a bike! I was such a b*tch i went back and lauhed at her before helping her up.
On the other hand, doing nothing usually brings zero attention. So it’s still a net positive.
So you’re of the “negative attention is still better than no attention” school of thought?
And what would your thoughts be on squeeze attention?
*squeeze*
*runs off and gets landed on by flipper*
*Tackles the Moomin*
MAZINGER-SUPER-SQUEEZE!!
Tag! You’re it!
*runs away*
Wheeeeeee!!!
Can’t have too much *squeeeze* attention!
*pushes Flipper off the Moomin and helps him to his feet*
Need another squeezer?
*squeeze*
Sucker!
*hands Anon a lollipop*
And now he’s so embarassed he’s hiding his head in the sand!
Not really.
*boots Anon away from Judy*
Methinks he will feel that anon.
That looks a lot more like Ms B than Judy.These are not the droids you are looking for.
*admires Dragon’s boots*
The boots that were made for walking?
..and that’s just what they’ll do.
*snork*
My brain is obviously already on vacation. ‘Scuse me whilst I go fetch the bukkit.
No worries!
I’ve had my fair share of the slows today. I think it’s a lack of sleep on my end.
I saw some guy on a motorcycle drive away with it.
*is suddenly reminded of Strawberry Shake fail*
Move along.
The girls may have laughed, but he sure made a great “impression” on the sand…
*snork!*
*Snickers*
If I surrender to lowbrow humor and laugh at him would that be bas-relief?
He’s a castaway on those shores.
Shore’nuff!
This sand so much more.
*POP* Sounds amazing!
No, no, no. It’s *POP* goes the weasel.
Round and round the mulberry bush. And I think I saw the monkey chasing him.
Monkey eye soup! Hmmm, my favorite. Right Indiana?
Bad movie flashback! *Thwack*
That was a particularly disgusting scene, but I can think of worse.
That whole movie gave me nightmares.
Does it involve a Quatto?
Quattro?
Audi?
Or BMW??always a BMW! It is the ultimate driving machine after all. They weren’t lying. *blows a kiss to Germany*
It can also play a mean game of chess.
It beats me every time.
Oh, it comes with the leather options?
Only if you get the bruise control.
Also available in black and blue (only).
Let’s not forget the rack and pinion mechanism.
Quack?
Something broke in there.
He tried to impress the girls. Double fail.
She fried two sets of pearls. Mumble Hail.
what the hell are you talking about
not the smell you are balking about?
YOU DON’T GET IT?!? Goodness Gracious, what the f*** do I have to do
to get through to you people! It’s clear as day!
;/?
Refried, blue, excessive turtles. Trouble, Dale.
Replied who? Obsessive squirells, shuttle mail.
he failed at life
he was trying to rape a beaver!!!!!!!!!!!!
*calls mental asylum*
Hello? Have you checked if any of your inmates have escaped recently?
*checks list*
Why yes, we are missing a pile of bitchshit.
OMG.
I can’t stop laughing.
That was a good five minute chuckle.
The one post that made me LOL today! Thanks ninja!
*bows*
*whips around to find Judy with the E.T. finger*
Oops! Found out!
*flees into darkness*
Hello, yes we are missing a young man with an infatuation with forest animals. Avoid contact at all costs.
We must have been on speakerphone.
You know, you can change your name, but your symbol is the same. So we still know who you are.
You caught me.
*uses wand on Starfish* Just making sure you didn’t catch a case of the crazies while at the asylum.
Wait, Starfish was bitchshit?No, look just a little further up the thread.
Oh yeah?? Who am I now?
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
(Can’t see video)
So what do we have here? A gent tries to look cool and does a 50% flip resulting in a smooch with Sandy?
Er….No. He crashes, or belly flops, into the sand.
…Which is to say yes, Mal…that’s exactly what happens.
Answer: Daily Double
*zapping laser sound*
Actually, it was a 150% flip. Same result though.
Close, it’s a 150% flip resulting in a smooch with Sandy.
Great minds.
*squeeze*
It was an intentional 125% flip and the video was supposed to be on ICHAC since he is cleaning the seaside litter box with his teeth.
The landing is a face first belly flop. Into a beach. In front of a group of girls.
That’s sad sounding.
Thanks for the help everyone
One more thing, his head makes a distinctive thug as he comes into contact with the sand.
I was actually kinda (only a little) worried that it was his neck or something…
just look at it bitch
Listen, bud, you have NO right to call Malicite, or any of the regulars here, a b*tch.
Thanks General!
*is itching for a fresh splatter*
Splatter away!
What part of “(can’t see video)” did you not understand?
I believe he had trouble with the "can't"And “see”.
I think you’re both right.
Dang!!! Who is this bitchshit hater?? I think you made the wrong turn and ended up here. Follow the sign:
-
ALL HATERS GO THIS WAY –>
FYI, you guys are great…
*feels the Failblog powah*
*SQUEEZE!*
Powah to FB peeps!!!
*SQUEEZE*
*MEGA SQUEEZE*
*pops*
*zips Malicite’s fly* There you go buddy.
I guess this balloon has an exit now.
said the bitchshit
stop that rhyming and stop your crying
im gay
No, you’re sad.
who cares?
Hi it’s Vince!
Watch me do a front flip!
*thwack*
*throws a tomato at Vince Offer’s face*
*Cleans up with ShamWow*
Wow these things are GREAT!
no really i am. i f uck beavers
that doesnt make you gay
I can feel a new set of implosions coming on…..
*ducks*
*chickens*
*turkeys*
TADAAAAA
*turdukens*
Very Good.
I am soooooooooo proud of you.
I only said it cuz it starts with TURD!
Proud of me still?
*slaps Leila*
you silly GOOSE
Well, what’s good for the gander…
-
*secretly enjoyed the slap*
-
and don’t ever slap me again!
*boops* LEILA on the nose.
*aaa-aaaacho!!!* That really tickled. Here’s a tissue, I didn’t mean to get it on you.
We had something similar for Christmas, a bald eagle stuffed inside a koala stuffed inside a baby panda……delicious.
Oh yeah….. a pankogle.
I eat those all the time.
WHAT THE *UCKITY *UCK!!!! This…this is like….b-b-b-beyond my comprehension.
-
*convulsing on the ground*
…………………………………haha
……………………….omg
*Oh sh*t…my ass just fell off*
I guess you CAN laugh that hard!!
I am dying for real here and your ass falls off from laughing? Hmmm…I am thinking it’s going to be the right time for cavity searches. Not yours of course since it fell off.
Still laughing…..
He who laughs firs…
my ass off!
He who last laughing will…
Um, he who has laugh…..
-
OH forget it!!! KARMA IS GOING TO KICK YOUR ARSE!!! I will then watch and
Karma???
What the hell happened to slapping me yourself?
I was good enough to slap earlier, but now I’m not good enough??!?!?!?\
Fine…
*floats off into corner and watches thorn vine tattoos crawl up his arms.*
Roost(ers)
*leaping lesbian lizards*
that sounds like a robin thing
Oh I get it! Good one!
*kakapos*
Quick, into the bunker, Avis!
K, well, this sucks, I can’t seem to get a word in edgewise. . .
I guess i can
*revs up GLOWER to full power*
*unleashes said GLOWER on trolls*
Bunker? Who needs a bunker?
What the HELL is up with the trolls today?? Sheesh!
Nice glower, btw.
Not enough adult supervision.
And thank you kindly!
AAAAHH!! Your glower singed the “ski” right off my name! Careful!
*sheepish*
Sowwy.
*starts to work on new ’ski’ with corn husks by hand* I will help you Brew w/o the ski. May take a while.
Thanks, looks like you’re making progress!
No GLOWERING my trolls…those are MY heads to implode today thank you.
^^^Oh yeah, ditto on the DW comment…nice glower.
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*rips off arms first, places in box labeled “Boggy’s”*
*uses katana to remove legs*
*ninja stars bs’s face*
*nunchucks any part of body not already crushed*
*wipes the mess with a ShamWow and quarantines entire room in case swine flu is present*
Hey, give that back! Eh, I probably wont want it back now. . .
*bring a huge bag and starts collecting body parts as Ninja slashes away* Oh, EW! I need gloves.
*hand on hip, stomping floor*
You were supposed to save the head for me.
*hand over mouth*
Hmm...what do I do?*waving finger*
you better remember next time…or else.
Don’t make me levitate over to the roof after you.
POWERTHIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
your also a powerful gay warrior
Emily? Cleanup on aisle three, please.
Shall I send another email, Judy?
*checks to make sure it really IS Judy before pressing ‘Add comment’*
Yeah, it’s me, babe.
Let this one ride a little longer. I think it’s done for the day, anyway. But if it continues tomorrow, my vote is “Hell Yeah!”
How’s it going, Ms B?
Ha!
Fine, just fine!
(Frankly, I didn’t think we looked a thing alike!)
*does a flip from a cliff and lands on face*
*saves face*
*loses face*
Damn… I should have left it in that jar by the door.
Elanor?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?
On the beach doing flips?
Flips that turn into flops.
I saw a face off in the corner.
*does an about-face*
Yeah, I don’t see the resemblance either.
You’re prettier than me!
No, YOU are!
Awww shucks!
Wow! That was sooooo girly, even for a girly girl like me. LOL
I LOVE IT!!!
I OBJECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ORDER! WE MUST HAVE ORDER IN THIS COURT!
*bangs gavel furiously*
Cheeseburger and fries…..
Take us out of orbit. Warp factor 1, Mr. Sulu.
Wow, grow up would you?
What has your mommy told you,”if you dont have anything nice to say. . . get ready to be berated constantly until you leave.”
Are you referring to your champion hero?
Gravity. Because it’s the LAW.
Bill Nye was great
Anybody see the old “Almost Live” show?
Check YouTube for “Billy Kwan” for some classics.
Woops, Bill Quan. Clickie my name.
Argh!! “Billy Quan”
I need a king-size bukkit.
Bill Nye gave my commencement speech when I graduated from college!
All my friends in other disciplines were jealous.
I have issues with law … even gravity’s.
Respect my authori-TIE!!!!!
Free-runners don’t obey gravity.
What about the ones you pay for?
Yeah, you impressed them for sure
The nestea plunge gone wrong.
?
Here, those old nestea plunge commercials.
lol, I first read that as “nesting plumage”.
Ah, Nestea. It brings a Teardrop to my eyes.
I don’t think you’re supposed to pour it on your eyes…
I lost my tooth in a similar way, only on a trampoline.
Ouch…
No wonder they protect these things with barbed wire.
Off topic...but did anyone see the Monty Python and the Holy Grail over on the nostalgic wins page?!?Not I.
Judging from the comments herein, most have memorized that film.
Ha ha oh my goodness yes! Epic movie. Nice that all the pythons could get together for something after they disbanded the Flying Circus.
Oh, and my first (out of 2) AP test is DONE! And I did NICE!! I am happy now!!
Sand WIN!
I am officially in the urban dictionary.
(clickie)
I figured it out. Congrats.Mmmm…Baconlube (tee em).
Hmmm…break out the booze!
Any reason for a party, right?!
*starts drinking alone in the corner*
Guess I’ll party by myself.
Here, I’ll join you, Ms. B! We can invite Dragon over, too. After a couple, she’ll look at us, and think she’s seeing double! We can have some fun with that since she can’t tell us apart!
*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*
I’m never gonna live this down, am I?
Might was well have a drinkie, then!
*passes out drinks*
It’s always better to drink with others!
*breaks out the vodka and various fruit abstracts*
Mmmmmm! My favorite!
Erm…you might want to hide them from Abstract, though. Wouldn’t want her to get the wrong idea…
Got it, babe!
Here, join me. I have a fresh, cold pitcher of “foot-in-mouth.”
Just made it. Have some?
*snork*
*pitches it out*
Nah. Let’s have a froofy girly drink instead.
How did you get that “*thwacks the blogmonster with a halibut*” comment to nest in your comment?
Pure magic.
*awards Avis +20 mystique and +10 badass points*
See? I learn.
I love you guyzsh!
*stumbles*
hic!
tHINKIN I’ve had nuff of the frouffy girly drinksh for one dayyyyyyyy….
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*tips over, lands on coyote*
*snores*
Hmm. Maybe I shouldn’t have given her the froofy girly dragon-grog right off the bat, huh?
*covers Judy with a blanket*
Sorry coyote…I’m afraid you’re stuck there until she wakes up.
Damn. I’ll just have to make do.
*snorrrrrrrgggghhhhhhccllllhhhhgggg*
Erm….
*gives coyote a ShamWow for the drool*
(ahem)
Is that really your strategy, Judy?
I know it’s an abstract concept, Admiral, but I see your point. I’ll forgive this one if you (and she) forgive mine.
Does anyone else kinda miss that intro?
*raises hand*
Hey…I’m just curious. Are you a Blog ninja, or a Blog monster?
By day, he is mild mannered reporter “Skwerlly Bob”, by night he is trollfighter “Blog Ninja”, and by the swamp he is “Blog Monster”.
When sports go bad? I laughed so much at that guy!
I miss the intro
I don’t
Naw….f’real? You wouldn’t fib to me, would you, bf? They’re all – SB?
‘fraid so, Judy. And about Santa – that isn’t him bringing presents every night. I thought I had to break this to you gently.
Wait – I never got presents every night?!?!
WTF? I only thought it was once every 365 days! How come I’m gettin’ gypped???
I didn't even know that!
Scary.*realises nothing is real*
*falls asleep sobbing into pillow*
“!!GRO TOD”
Ooo, reverse psychology
Anyways, I have never overshot a front flip *sigh* noob. Needs to learn control.
At first I thought he was gonna land on them people. He must have felt like an idiot for messing up in front of them.
*Finds it weird I’m talking to myself*
*inserts a couple random questions for BNM to answer, so that he doesn’t appear to be talking to himself.*
Whew *wipes forehead* saved me there.
Every time someone responds to himself I remember a thread from the fail where some meat was labeled as ‘baby’. Someone posted that he liked to eat babies. He then responded to himself that he also liked to eat babies, but that made sense since he was the same person. For some stupid reason, that made me laugh quite a bit.
2.5 1.9 2.4 2.2 2.6
“Lets impress some girls with my skills!, WeeeYahhhh *frontflip* *fail* *puffrumbalchcom*
crap
that looked quite painful. what a nice enjoyable day at the beach i must say EUHEUHEUH
LOL THtAT YUR MOM DIoN THE FLIP FAILFAILFAFIL !! ! !
Wow, just wow.
.
.
.
.
.
BOOM
Well, at least he isn’t denying what he is.
*looks at name*
Exactly why I didn’t give him a chance to reconcile.
WTF AR YOU TALKIN BOUT NOOB ILL PWN UR FACE IN CS LETS GO RIGHT NOW IM 7 FEET TALL AND BENCH PRESS 800 AND MY PENIS IS 20 INCHES LONG ILL BEAT YUO UP
No wonder you can’t get a date.
I’m trying to sift through that comment for anything that isn’t a lie or a rather ignorant statement. Nope, nothing.
Is he talking about Counter Strike? *sighs*
I think he is. Oh, that sad, sad little man.
LOZLOZLZOZZLOZLZOZLZOZLZLOL YU PPL SS TROLL EASY NUBS IM LEVEL 600 IN WoW I COULD PWN YOUR MOM IN THE ASS
That is the most depressing thing I have read this week. I cannot think of anything sadder than what you’ve just said.
YOUR MOMS THE MOST DEPRESSING THING IVE SCREWED ALL WEEK!!! ODWNDWNW !N! N!DND!ND!
Why?
Jesus Christ, what is your problem? Are you taking illegal substances? Do I need to report you to the FBI?
No need to call the FBI, just report his parents to CPS.
I hate to nit-pick here, but, at this site… YOU are the noob. Just like in your game, there are rules. Failure to comply will result in mockery.
Oops…too late.
/B/ /B/ /B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B//B/ BFTW BITCH UR OMm
Why can’t you spell correctly?
Do you need a diaper change?
Or maybe a nap?
FTWCHAN WILL PWN THIS NUB SAD SIte
The only “sad” thing is you, you shameful hollow shell of a human being.
*yawn*
Some people are so desperate for attention.
*changes channel*
No! You fool! You changed the programme to Oprah!
*hands Brews a “k” currently not in use*
In all seriousness you people are trolled much to easy.
In all seriousness you really need to be under supervision.
*SNORK*
He thinks we were trolled. That’s HIGH-larious.
That’s okay. Just as long as it’s not too easy.
The way to handle a troll is to completely ignore them. So you did get trolled because you replied. I made you waste time responding.
Oh no…you are completely mistaken.
Troll-baiting is a time hono(u)red pastime on Failblog. It amuses us greatly when trolls can’t help but rise to the bait and make themselves look like idiots. I’d hardly call that a waste of time.
We do like to poke the trolls, don’t we?
*goes ^ to fetch hater sign*
-
HATERS/TROLLS GO THIS WAY –>
I was going to say something about FB being so troll free this week…..but this afternoon happened.
Guess he really wanted a SANDwich for lunch!
Hyuck hyuck.
Sand is overrated.
It’s just tiny little rocks.
It works well for a pedicure. Walk barefoot in it for a while and you come out with smooth (but sore) feet! Of course, there are some sands that are kinder to the tootsies.
I agree and doesn’t the dermabrasion tool for the face use sand? It felt like sand but it does wonders for your skin.
That was ok. The sand really paid for that one.
*notices the colour of the avatar is appropriate to the name*
*notices GBF noticing the colour of the avatar is appropriate for the name and notices the same* I like!!
DID HE DIED???
WE DON’T KNOWED.
*SNORK!!*
*taps foot waiting for WN*
*joins AA and taps foot waiting for WN* I know he is here somewhere.
Damn. I can’t wait any longer!!!
snorkity count = 3
*snork!*
Damn…you’re messing with my numbers, darlin’! :p
I know that it is horribly rude to talk about anything other than the fail at hand, but take a peak at the link I put near the end of the shampoo fail.
It didn’t post yet, coyote. I tried to follow your comment from the recent comment box, but it didn’t direct me to your submission.
My reply is not in the recent comments box either.
OMG!! You guys have to STOP this!!! People are staring at me because I am cracking up at the monitor.
Me too!!!
We need to build a FB cone of silence or something like that…
I love the demonic roar of slowed down laughter.
That’s quite a … biting … avatar you have there, Dan. Are you, by any chance, carnivorous? And, if so, how did FB happen to come upon this information?
I refuse to nest or be nested below this point.
——————
I drew my line in the sand. The same sand that fool face-landed on.
*sticks tongue out at Leila*
*builds a nest in said sand*
*frowns at Mal* Well, I guess I didn’t say anything about anyone else nesting. Enjoy a complimentary massage. Happy nesting.
-
Hey, Rrrrrraul!!! come here and work on my friend Mal.
*takes Avis’ tongue and wipes all the mess Ninja made while chopping a troll*
-
*flees*
*is absolutely speechless*
Smart to start running. Foolish not to let go of my tongue. *thwacks Leila*
Dammiiiiiiit!!! I hate it when I forget the small details.
lol that he got owned by that car!
Changing your name won’t protect you.
I wonder what this fool is trying to do now?
I believe trying to fool us … it’s not working.
I LOVE THE MAP DUST I PWN SO MANY NOOBS ON IT MAYBE ILL PWN ENOUGH NOOBS TODAY TO RAISE MY RANK ON THE SERVER FROM THREE TO ONE HEHEHEHEHEHE
WTF? There is that annoying fly again!
I have no idea what the hell you are talking about, but I guess that’s a good thing.
Possibly, but not here. And not anytime soon.
LOLZZZLOZ> ? TO RETARTEYT? TO UNDETRATND MY AWEOSME NESS I WILL WIN FOR 3000303003!
Did you forget to take your meds today?
I’m going to fetch the tranquilizer darts.
I think that it took it’s meds for the rest of the month.
Gad. This one isn’t even trying to be fun or annoying. It’s just brain dead.
Look at the time! You’ll be late picking up your rented tux for the prom. Hurry! She may change her mind and go with you after all.
not funny
Why, did it hurt?
Can’t see the video, but from the comments it sounds like it hurt.
He was trying to impress those two chicks. I know someone who didn’t get laid that night.
He got laid out.
Ouch.
How embarrassing!
Some Baconlube™ should fix that right up.
i bet thats wat u tell all the guys…
thats my friend
Geez. You said you’d remove the intro, but literally HALF of this 22 second clip was advertising for Failblog. That means HALF the time I spent downloading it on my slow satellite internet service was wasted.
This is the first video I’ve watched since you instigated that offensive intro, and I only watched it because you assured me you took out the crap. And it’ll be the last.
Love the blog. HATE the extra stuff you add to the videos.
Fail.
/facesand
The sound his head made when it hit the ground made my butthole clenchup.
lol the best part about that is the 3 girls behind him that he was clearly trying to impress. good job buddy.
At least he didn’t land on his head.
This was his thoughts in mid air…………”i am insane, totally insane, just awesome…but wait…ime 17% retarded…wtf am i doing, this will never fu#%!n work…MOSES ABRAHAM!!!!(he doesen’t say jesus christ, he’s a jew…u can tell)
wait , why am i freaking out…i have designed a deployable airbag 4 times like these…let me just instead reach 4 the ocean and not 4 my pockets, mabye hitting the sand would be a good idea…ile probably become that guy from spiderman…YES, YES, YES…I WANT THE POWWWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
end quote…f#!k this guy
youre an idiot =D
Faceplant-a-rama. Poor bastard was probably trying to impress the ladies in the background…I’m sure they were impressed all right…at what an IDIOT he is…
i want somebody to put a picture of a WWE blooper
wooooohow
…
UGH!
he sure left an impression.
Whoohoo!! Ooohp!
Is it really responsible to be encouraging idiots like this by publishing their videos on your site? They’re only doing it to get attention.
did he die?
Have anybody noticed that he looks like the guy from lazy town?
what was he thinking?
did someone fall?… again?? how is this funny? i fart like twice a day and its never funny. it was only funny the first time. if i farted on you it would be funny but that isnt the case. this is just stupid. would you like me to fart on you? i might laugh then, maybe it would have been worth your effort.
*thwacks the blogmonster with a halibut*