Hi Judy! Please ‘splain for me. Yesterday I referenced the aforementioned video that our beloved mr cuddles posted some time ago. Then you scolded me for it. Did I miss something? Or are you just sick of p****e jokes?
When cuddles first introduced us to that video, it creeped the hell out of me! I was picked on unmercifully for that one to no end – in particular by Admiral A. I finally decided to give up and join in on the fun – even adopted the Pickle Surprise guy as my avatar for a while. Everyone else freaked out on that one, so I finally changed it back. It’s been nice and quiet around here ever since. Until, of course, you spake the name of the evil one and brought it back to the forefront of the blog!
Oh, yeah, btw, my nightmares have returned, too.
Birds of a feather… I felt the same way! I posted a while back about having a pickle-guy phobia, and wondering if there was a scientific name for it. Kinda like fear of clowns.
*moves on to another fail to shake image of Mr. Pickle Surprise*
It was actually a country before a “prison camp”. I told you Joey boy, never skip your modern history classes then spout your ignorance all over the internet. If you had ANY idea, you would also know that NZ was a part of Australia until we decided we were better off without them. See? About 10 min of one of the many history classes you never got around to going to…
Yes, but two negatives dont make THE positive… For example: not unhealthy doesnt technically mean you are healthy, it just means you aren’t unhealthy. It only means healthy through induction and assumptions.
Well, let’s see. “Jack” (and I’m sure that’s not his name), failed at 1) driving, 2) being a decent person and actually leaving his details, and 3) spelling.
how? unless you have the registration number of the vehicle. you cannot ask budget to “check if someone named Jack has rented a car that has come back with a dent.”
Generally you can call up, say “my vehicle was hit, they left a note on paper from your company stating they would not give me their info and said their name was jack. My vehicle was at this address… at this time when it was hit.” and give your info because, quite frankly, they’re going to want that info for their insurance company anyway when the idiot comes back with a dented car.
Denting another person’s car is not a felony in this, or any other western country I am aware of. He could say he left two notes, and one flew away.
A warrant comes from a magistrate. Good luck when you bother him with a claim for a $200 dent to your car claim on very circumstantial evidence. Forget the fact you aren’t even a member of the police force or a solicitor (a requirement) for a moment as well!!!
You don’t have to rent a car from Budget to get these pads. I have two of them that Budget has sent to me with Ads to rent a car from them. I have never rented from them just Hertz.
For thirty odd years I roamed the sea,
am languished for by a bird in every port;
but of late the wretched fortune played a trick on me
reluctant as I am, I will report on it in short
To a lass with golden hair I got acquainted,
what follows is foggy and shady :
when we came to fondling, I gasped and fainted,
for she was a bloke in the guise of a lady
I’ve searched the corners of my mind
To find two little words that rhyme.
But when I read what I have written,
To my dismay, I find they didn’t.
And I can’t even rhyme that with, I quit!
NOW, look what you’ve done, FSA!!
I’m ruined, I tell you, ruined.
*oh, the haiku of it all*
Have you not seen all the evil that goes on in FB? All the malice and cruelty to poor defenseless *insert animal*? People are still placing baconlube orders. It’s madness!!!!
Well thank you Bill for letting us know!!
Alright everyone stop all comments and conversations, bill thankfully let us know that this is fake. Lets all thank him for his valuable service and congregate at the 10am (est) fail.
However it is possible that the dude who wrote the note heard the joke and took it to heart and actually used this for real on somebody when he hit their car.
Um no, but it looks like someone called someone “Cupcake.” *tsktsk* What IS the world coming to? I’d have surely said “Fruitcake.” But only if I were *quite respectfully* addressing you rather than Boobie Trap.
Am I srrsly confused? Why, yes, I believe I am.
Well done, foop!
Ack! Misnested again!
*headdesk*
*to bed*
Good *insert appropriate time of day/night here*, everyone!
*randomly, but sincerely squeezes everyone within reach*
You better believe that someone is always watching. Do you not have a lot of work? I am always up to my eyeballs with work which I truly love. If I gave myself a moment to be lazy, it’s over.
No! I don’t have any work to do and nobody double checks it! I just watch videos on youtube, college humor, and failblog all day long. Its stressing me out. It’s like how long can this possibly last?!?
As long as you want it to last. Perhaps you should seek other employment that would be more satisfying to you.
-
While we are at it, why is FSA watching me like that?
Oh yes…the ta tas … I have yet to see them since my head hasn’t regenerated. Just keep Ninja away from here.
-
Do you feel guilty that they pay you so much when you do so little? Can you ask your boss for projects you can take on?
I hate when people make it difficult for you to park/leave because they’re illegally parked. I don’t bother with info then. Once I dry-erase markered their windshield with “Not a parking space!”…. Because I’m a jerk.
Better to just call the towing company. They have to pay all sorts of money, and usually get some dings anyways. Do not part where it says to not park!
We know his name is Jack (probably). We know there’s a witness who can tell you what he kinda looked like and what kind of car he had. You’ll get the color of the car from the damage. We also know at one point he rented a car, or worked for, from Heartz in Perth.
What Jack does not know is that he is about to enter another dimension: a dimension of sight, a dimension of sound, and a dimension of mind. He is bout to enter the Twilight Zone.
ARGH! Can you morons PLEASE not fill the whole page with quasi-sensical nerdspeak, troll-isms, and other useless communications? When I click on a comments link, it would be really awesome if I could, just once, see information relevant to the background of the fail.
ADMINS: Perhaps you could take a break from launching ever less funny websites and mine the comments for useful information, separating the wheat from the oh-so-plentiful chaff.
This is a fake…whoever submitted it probably made it. That “I’m writing down my details because someone is watching me” bit has been an urban legend for years. I’m sure it’s happened before in some fashion, but it’s word for word the same as the legend.
The current prime minister of Norway was actually caught *doing* this. This was a few years ago, and he was ‘only’ the leader of the labor party at the time, as the labor goverment had resigned a few days earlier.
He didn’t bother writing a note though, he only left a used parking stub under the wipers of the car he backed into. Fortunately a witness noted down his license plates.
Actually, though he did “right” his letter on a Budget Rental Car pad, that doesn’t mean he rented a car from there or worked there. I have writing pads from many different places given to me by others. Some of them are from places I have never seen, been, or even heard of before obtaining the notepad. Secondly his name probably isn’t even Jack. If both scenarios were to play out, then EPIC WIN!!!
We witnessed a hit and (tried to run) they did the same thing faking writting the letter, but witnesses made them accountable by checking the note when they got in their car.. it was a fake so we took the licence and nabbed them. tee hee.
You don’t have to rent a car from Budget to get these pads. I have two of them that Budget has sent to me with Ads to rent a car from them. I have never rented from them just Hertz.
Cheezburger Company Blog
total info
2nd, well im not but it does look like it
MANS ON A MAD ONE!!!!
BRAP BRAP BRAP!!
MERKAGE
does this make me, third?
Fourth loophole?
(suddenly I feel so troll-like…must…take…shower…….wash….dirtiness…off…)
*sets tap to cold*
*hoses Chaz*
where’s the pickle?
that’s the surprise.
PICKLE SURPRISE!
*hands rrajaj a pickle*
Oh no, what have I done?
All the blame rests with you, Brewski.
Yay! Blame Brewski, not me!
*blames eld for lack of interest*
*Blames fruitcake for lacking interest*
clickie SFW
wow you really are a douche bag just you name states….
no, they are not that smart.
Hi Judy! Please ‘splain for me. Yesterday I referenced the aforementioned video that our beloved mr cuddles posted some time ago. Then you scolded me for it. Did I miss something? Or are you just sick of p****e jokes?
When cuddles first introduced us to that video, it creeped the hell out of me! I was picked on unmercifully for that one to no end – in particular by Admiral A. I finally decided to give up and join in on the fun – even adopted the Pickle Surprise guy as my avatar for a while. Everyone else freaked out on that one, so I finally changed it back. It’s been nice and quiet around here ever since. Until, of course, you spake the name of the evil one and brought it back to the forefront of the blog!
Oh, yeah, btw, my nightmares have returned, too.
Birds of a feather… I felt the same way! I posted a while back about having a pickle-guy phobia, and wondering if there was a scientific name for it. Kinda like fear of clowns.
*moves on to another fail to shake image of Mr. Pickle Surprise*
*squeeze*
My chicken tells me you’re grey.
thank u jam
wat info?
FAIL WHALE!!!!
What do you expect from a prison camp turned country. I feel bad for those Kiwis being so damn close.
It was actually a country before a “prison camp”. I told you Joey boy, never skip your modern history classes then spout your ignorance all over the internet. If you had ANY idea, you would also know that NZ was a part of Australia until we decided we were better off without them. See? About 10 min of one of the many history classes you never got around to going to…
maybe its in the sky!
you know the flying cow.
I’m pretending not to write first.
troll fail?
Is it possible to fail at being a troll?
No. By definition, a troll is a failure, and failing at failing is impossible since you would have failed.
However, two negatives make a positive. Maybe teff7 succeeded at failing to be a failure after all.
I think my head is about to explode…
Which would make him cucceed to succeed!
Yes, but two negatives dont make THE positive… For example: not unhealthy doesnt technically mean you are healthy, it just means you aren’t unhealthy. It only means healthy through induction and assumptions.
If your not unhealthy also means that your not healthy, then what the heck are you???
a patient who the doctors are taking advantage of because they can’t diagnose you
You succeeded. Win
Twinkie’s
Where’s the cream filling?
Congratulations! You win the random and pointless post of the day award!
I happily accept the award
Still, where’s my cream filling?
Twinkie
Where’s the beef?
What no gravy?
Twinkie
Where’s the creamy beef filling?
I’m pretending not to reply
I just realized…my reply was a double negative usage fail… =(
it’s ok, you’ve had a rough day. What with Jack hitting you car, and your special german shampoo running out…
write?!?!
who would have thought tame iti was into failblog
Spelling fail too…
Agreed – triple FAIL.
maybe quadruple.
1) hit the guy
2) pretended to leave details
3) spelling
4) possibly left a clue from the rental he was in…?
i don’t see anything wrong with the spelling. i think he spelled everything write.
No, he misspelled “accidenty.”
why is this a fail?
If “Jack” rented the car from Budget, then this is an epic fail
Well, let’s see. “Jack” (and I’m sure that’s not his name), failed at 1) driving, 2) being a decent person and actually leaving his details, and 3) spelling.
Not to mention that you can track him down through Budget Rent a Car.
how? unless you have the registration number of the vehicle. you cannot ask budget to “check if someone named Jack has rented a car that has come back with a dent.”
Generally you can call up, say “my vehicle was hit, they left a note on paper from your company stating they would not give me their info and said their name was jack. My vehicle was at this address… at this time when it was hit.” and give your info because, quite frankly, they’re going to want that info for their insurance company anyway when the idiot comes back with a dented car.
Lemme guess, Mae.
You’re not a lawyer now, are you?
No, but you can file a claim with Budget’s insurance company.
And they will file your claim under “when hell freezes over” – seriously.
You probably could with a warrant. And since Jack just did a hit-and-run, which is a felony, getting a warrant shouldn’t be a problem.
Denting another person’s car is not a felony in this, or any other western country I am aware of. He could say he left two notes, and one flew away.
A warrant comes from a magistrate. Good luck when you bother him with a claim for a $200 dent to your car claim on very circumstantial evidence. Forget the fact you aren’t even a member of the police force or a solicitor (a requirement) for a moment as well!!!
No, I think you can, if they caused damage to your car.
Privacy act 1988.
No you can’t.
Maybe in Russia…
Actually… if you went to the police and reported it, they’d do just that.
Just what???
They would file it under “when I get around to it”.
Failed.
@slatfatf …You fail!
Why not?
SURE YOU CAN!!
plus he may have been smart enough not to use his real name
You have the location and a first name. If Jack did damage to the rental, then they can figure out who it was fairly easily.
You don’t have to rent a car from Budget to get these pads. I have two of them that Budget has sent to me with Ads to rent a car from them. I have never rented from them just Hertz.
Love those Ozzies!
First reply here that has made any sense at all…
NOTFail!!!
I think you watch too much crime shows.
I’m pretending to fail.
This fail is a fail- this scenario was on FMyLife.com recently. This is funny, yes, but I don’t think the note is real.
Unless there’s some loser out there submitting their misfortune to every website that caters to our sadistic sides.
sorry, you failed at pretending to fail.
The Double Fail is
- mis-spelling of ‘accidenty’
- use of action verb.
He’s also pretending to “right” down his details
That’s what he meant, write?
Your write. He accidently an action verb.
Righting down the ampersand like a $ is also a spelling fail.
took me a while to see what he actually meant to say there
Haha, took me a minute too $ now I see it.
This is genius!
hiii! *squeeze*
Dude, this is an EPIC WIN!
That’s what im sayin’…WIN indeed.
Definite WIN
At least he gave his name
Too bad you don’t know jack, except he’s a jack-ass…
Too bad nobody knows Jack.
Yeah cause ‘Jack’ is REAL descriptive..
Just Jack!
*throws up jazz hands*
Gawd I miss that show.
Also: did anyone in here ever play You Don’t Know Jack? Dude, that game was awesome. S’all I’m sayin’.
I used to play that game all the time with my cousins. And believe me, I didn’t know jack…
… in the biblical sense?
Or the common sense?
What about your spidey sense?
Or your non sense?
Would someone please help Jack off the blog?
Oh great. I googled “don’t know Jack” the game and just spent 15 minutes playing it and now I’ll be late for work.
YOU CAN PLAY IT ONLINE??!?!?!
This changes EVERYTHING!
I’m in.
Here’s my sixth cents.
O.o
*whispers* I see … … funny people.
The blog needs help to jack off?
Well, didn’t that joke just do a flip into the sand right on its face.
Hrmph!
I’m only just reading this fail now, Judy. I want you to know that I roffled.
Jack figured that everyone would already know his surname was “Ass”
madworld ftw
Well he probably works at budget. An investigator would surely start looking there for someone named jack with serious spelling problems.
Or he got the pad from a previous car rental, or a job fair, etc. etc. I’ve got dozens of notepads from various companys..
“Is there a Jack here? Last name Ass? Anyone?”
I see no fail in this.
Me either.
*pretends to see a fail*
Hey, hey, I found one! *points*
*knows deep inside that I never saw a fail*
*pats achwel on the back*
It’s ok buddy
Of course you don’t. This is WINBlog.
502-22-07?
This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all morning.
then your life sucks.
then you are a troll
Then this is a wire. *shows everyone a random and pointless wire*
*Admires FSA’a wire*
*slams a Pog down on the left end of the wire*
duuuude, pogs…..i still have some from when i was 10.
HAHAHA! THIS IS HILARIOUS!
*Looks at my dented car*
…wait…SHIT! F U JACK! F UUUUUUU!
Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill slept by the well. Jack f’cked Jill. But Joe saw the whole thing. Jack left a note and fell down the hill.
ts;wihr
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could touch her fanny. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*ck, ’cause Jill’s a f*cking tranny!
That was way funnier than the fail, Cuddles! *hugs* Hiya!
*squeeze* Good morning Mookie!
Only 11 days left for you!
Thank God! I’m not very patient, it seems. Are you excited?
I’m not very patient either. I’m extremely excited, but also pretty nervous.
*roffles*
There’s one for toddler group!
*squeeze*
*squeeze* Good morning jam!
*squeeze* Afternoon Cuddles.
You still playing?
Only for a little bit this morning. Both of my bosses are in today so I’m going to have to do some kind of work
Ah well, a small Cuddle is better than no Cuddle at all.
Reminds me of this poem I once wrote:
For thirty odd years I roamed the sea,
am languished for by a bird in every port;
but of late the wretched fortune played a trick on me
reluctant as I am, I will report on it in short
To a lass with golden hair I got acquainted,
what follows is foggy and shady :
when we came to fondling, I gasped and fainted,
for she was a bloke in the guise of a lady
Reminds me of the time I dressed as a girl and bleached my hair and tricked a boat captain into getting in bed with me…
Huh, thats actually quite clever.
Kudos.
Are you secretly Steven Tyler?
I like that.
jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water, but jill left alone, because jack saw someone hotter!
First.
First to fail?
I live in Perth. My driving instructor’s name is Jack. He’s Dutch. That looks like his handwriting.
…
Wow.
Your….driving instructor? Haha
Well that’s a fail
I also know a guy in Perth =P looks like his handwriting too.. weird.. he moved from Holland too..
I know Jack too, his surname by the way is Innit.
Wow what a shame, but at the same time genius!
I pretend to be replying to your comment.
I pretend to reply to a comment that is a pretend-reply.
I’m pretending too accidently right a comment to glorify this fale. Allso I doo my best too spell corect.
You accidentied your “L.”
*runs around k-k-k-katy for awhile*
Stop! Stop! I’m getting dizz…
*faints*
*picks up k-k-k-katy and hides her in closet*
*places lock on closet*
*eats lock*
*regrets it immediately*
*dramatic music*
DUN DUN DUN!
Find out if K-K-K Katy comes out of the closet, in the next episode of FAILBLOG!
*kicks k-k-katy out of the closet*
Oh my! She did! She did come out of the closet!
*applauds*
*bows*
And now, for my next trick…
*pulls cape up over face*
*puff of smoke*
*disappears*
Hey! She copied my teleportation trick! YOU COPYCAT! *teleports away to…. somewhere else
*
Maybe his number is the same than the ” perh reservations hotline”.
just kidding, he is dumb
Sorry for the hit, guys… any further problems call me!
Arse!
Posterior!
Bum!
Derriehre!
Arsch!
ASS!
geadán,
tóin,
geocach,
fánaí &
ráigí
Sorry, I’m a little behind on this one. (_)_)
A little behind, butt still in the race…
I’m try*cough*ing to *COUGH*
*COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH*
JACK! THERE YOU ARE! YOU SCREWED UP MY CAR! THANKS TO YOU, MY DOORS ONY OPEN INWARD NOW!
*checks the back door*
Its true you know
I thought it might swing both ways.
not anymore, the hinge is all rusty, wait I mean crusty
I hear Baconlube works like WD40.
yeah, but it tends to whack you on the way out
Screw it in harder then.
I’m trying! maybe we need the double penetrating lubricant
Super-sizzlin’ style BaconLube?
jam I OBJECT!!!!
I objectify.
I rejectify.
When do you NOT?
It rattles a bit in the wind and its very difficult to keep closed what with the tiny knob
Size isn’t important Granny, as long as you get your job done.
LOL was talking about festeringbottom’s butt that works too
I knew what you were talking about (just for a change) butt I thought you wanted to avoid the back passage.
back passage is fine as long as you don’t have to reach around an jimmy the lock
You shouldn’t need to jimmy the lock if you use the bang the knockers.
*removes superfluous words while Granny looks for her glasses*
Ah yes a little inside help
If the backdoor won’t budge try the window
You’ll have to get past the shutters first!
I’m on the rag but you can plug me shutter
At your age? Don’t make em like they used to!
*reaches for the wabbit*
That isn’t a door
And it won’t swing, you see.
Nor is it a shoe.
But, hey, that’s just me.
*places sign up that says, “No rhyming from this point on”*
Why would you say
Of rhymes this thead’s full
Surely you know
That’s a rag to a bull?
*facepalms DrB for not listening to the sign*
I’ve searched the corners of my mind
To find two little words that rhyme.
But when I read what I have written,
To my dismay, I find they didn’t.
And I can’t even rhyme that with, I quit!
NOW, look what you’ve done, FSA!!
I’m ruined, I tell you, ruined.
*oh, the haiku of it all*
The more I write, the worse it gets.
Even that refuses to rhyme with ‘I quit.’
*cries*
STOP RHYMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reminds me of something I saw on a bathroom wall once.
Oh no, no
It’s too sh*tty
Don’t stay too long
In the big bad city
~ Calcutta bathroom, 1994
You always know the right (write?) prescription, DrB.
Stop that rhyming now, I mean it!
-
Anybody want a peanut?
typical WA drivers… bah!
Jack was his name and Jill was his girlfriends name lol
Jack was his name and Bauer was his last name
Jack… Shit…
hehehe
Hi, my name’s Czuhc. I actually don’t have something interesting to say, but I’m pretending to work.
Hi, my name’s Jam. It’s been 20 years since my last confession. Nah, not really, I’m only pretending.
Hi, my name’s k-k-k-katy and I am a recovering Failblog addict. It’s been *counts on fingers* um at least 5 days since my last post.
*falls off wagon*
Hi, my name’s mr. cuddles and I’m an
alcoholicadvanced drinker with a FailBlog addiction.I only wish I was an alcoholic.
Do you have to get drunk to be an alcoholic?
Under the terms of the contract, you have to be perpetually drunk, enough to appear sober at all times.
Kind of like Karen Walker, where when she sobers up, the room starts to spin. The more you drink, the clearer everything is.
What happens if you’re perpetually sober, but you drink enough to liquefy your insides on an hourly basis?
You get pickled!
So I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a pickle?
Surpise!
Wow.
I’m not a pickle! *runs crying, “pickles are not my body, pickles have nothing to do with me….”*
Oh, Brewski! What have you done???
*pays penance*
Oh FAILblog, bless me for I have sinned! Please cleanse me!
I slept with my girlfriends mom and then my girlfriend came home and joined us
*high five!*
That’s what the priest always says
He only thinks it’s bad because there’s no potatoes involved.
confession always makes my ass hurt
Get him some lotion.
Soy based? Aloe Vera? Jasmine with patchouli?
I was thinking of Aloe Vera actually!
Aloe Vera! *waves at Granny’s new Darby and Joan friend*
*hands jam and gaynorvader home made Aloe Vera lotion and flees the room* Have fun!!!
Aww LEILA left!
SO ITCHY!!!
*gives grannycatflip some anti-itch cream*
Sorry granny, the lotion must have gotten contaminated with the poison gaynorvader concocted yesterday.
*ingests gaynorvader’s poison*
oddly tasty.
Oh oh, poor FSA!
There’s no antidote! LEILA! Did you make that lotion out of bunnies!
*starts feeling funny*
I would never harm an animal for any reason. I am surprised that you’ve asked me that question.
*casts Greater Planar Binding on FSA*
That should prevent you from leaving this world when you die, should make the resurrection process much easier
*vomits out some poison into the stall to the right and flushes*
Then how the devil did my poison get in there?! It can only survive in bunny blood. Hmm, LEILA, could anyone else have tampered with that lotion?
*starts to feel a little better*
*Rends FSA asunder*
*Ressurects*
There! All better!
Have you not seen all the evil that goes on in FB? All the malice and cruelty to poor defenseless *insert animal*? People are still placing baconlube orders. It’s madness!!!!
It’s SPARTA!
I had to say it.
But…not the bunnies!
The bunnies are safe in a large metal box filled with lettuce.
…but still a confession none-the-less…
more like boasting to see the priest’s reactions
With such a note, you know Jack Shit.
So that’s his second name!
♪♪ oh, yes, he’s the great pretenderrrrrr ♪♪
This one’s fake. There’s an old joke that dates back into the 70′s that details this exactly.
Well thank you Bill for letting us know!!
Alright everyone stop all comments and conversations, bill thankfully let us know that this is fake. Lets all thank him for his valuable service and congregate at the 10am (est) fail.
*STOP*
*HAMMERTIME*
In for a penny, in for a nail!
hmmmm…is that right?
I don’t remember! D:
I don’t want to remember.
However it is possible that the dude who wrote the note heard the joke and took it to heart and actually used this for real on somebody when he hit their car.
Wow. Double fail here. I don’t know which is worse.
Take a wild guess.
WIN!
Hi my name is Jack.
-Jack
I thought it was Anon… *confused*
I just spilt super glue all over my fingers!
Just because it’s white and sticky doesn’t make it glue…
GAH!
BAH!
BLAH!
All that is sticky, is not glue! You really should get some of those sex education books out from the library.
But it’s see-through! And it came out of this super glue tube! And my fingers are stuck together! It must be glue it must be!
*hands GV the box of hankies*
*promptly gets tissue stuck to face*
Mmmmph
*offers Shamwow*
I found this in Mookie’s bedroom.
*wicked grin*
So that’s where that went… I may be needing that again soon.
I didn’t even recognise you! *covets Mookie’s old pic back*
Watch out Gaynor, that isn’t lip balm! No, don’t get it on your lips!
Uh oh, too late. Hope you didn’t have any speaking engagements.
Mmmmph Mnnnrrgh OW! Tastes like burning!
*uses the tissue*
*gets stuck to GV’s face*
GV always wanted to get stuck into your ass!
Mmm. Smells like blueberries!
As i always suspected! That’s if GV stands for general viewpoint of
failbloggers LOL
Apparently in stands for intercourse in Germany.
It really means Globules of Vaseline and it doesn’t leave feeling meaty.
^you
Wah hah! Unlike baconlube
That’s not what Arthur told me!
Pfft! Arthur makes his own language up!
*saunters in*
What did Arthur told you?
*dangerously curious*
All languages have to be made up by someone!
Hi Boobie Trap!
*waves enthusiastically*
Arthur told me that GV stands for intercourse in German.
*enthusiastically waves back*
A new way to break the language barrier!
*continues to wave enthusiastically*
What kind of flower are the fish swimming round in your avatar?
I think it’s a carnation.
I’m open to any suggestions as to the nature
of the orbit of my fish.
For all I know, it could be a pink frosted cupcake.
or maybe it’s a piece of pink plaid cloth?
My firm belief is that it is simply srrslypink, Cupcake.
….Excuse me? Did you just call me “Cupcake”?!
*quickly replaces ‘it is’ with ‘they are’ and prays no one caught that*
*really quiet facepalm*
*smites foop for calling me cupcake*
Don’t call me cupcaKE. ONLY FRUITCAKE OR FSA! :s
Um no, but it looks like someone called someone “Cupcake.” *tsktsk* What IS the world coming to? I’d have surely said “Fruitcake.” But only if I were *quite respectfully* addressing you rather than Boobie Trap.
Am I srrsly confused? Why, yes, I believe I am.
Well done, foop!
Ack! Misnested again!
*headdesk*
*to bed*
Good *insert appropriate time of day/night here*, everyone!
*randomly, but sincerely squeezes everyone within reach*
*scootches closer*
*Belated pink cupcake boobie trap squeeze*
No, GCF, it’s a question.
Got Vicodin?
Hi, my name is LEILA, I am pretending to work on the off chance my boss looks my way.
LEILA
I haven’t done any work in about 2 months. I am terrified that I will be fired at any moment. Damn addictive failblog!!
You can’t multi-task? I got a few things on the burner as I am typing this.
Crippling lazyness and distraction. I really need help.
You see they put me in an office way in the back of the warehouse, and then they never check my work. WTF am I supposed to do???
You better believe that someone is always watching. Do you not have a lot of work? I am always up to my eyeballs with work which I truly love. If I gave myself a moment to be lazy, it’s over.
*watches LEILA*
No! I don’t have any work to do and nobody double checks it! I just watch videos on youtube, college humor, and failblog all day long. Its stressing me out. It’s like how long can this possibly last?!?
As long as you want it to last. Perhaps you should seek other employment that would be more satisfying to you.
-
While we are at it, why is FSA watching me like that?
You said somehow someone is watching you so I’m just doing my part.
Since you are watching then, let me disappear for a bit to get some things done. *woooosh*
Everyone’s copying my teleportation!
It’s not really teleportation, it looks to me like a Quickened Lesser Blink.
*teleports to next fail*
But they pay me so much…and i do sooo little.
*maybe its cuz you augmented you ta ta’s?*
Oh yes…the ta tas … I have yet to see them since my head hasn’t regenerated. Just keep Ninja away from here.
-
Do you feel guilty that they pay you so much when you do so little? Can you ask your boss for projects you can take on?
No.
But on a brighter note, I have taken up starting my own business and doing most of initial research and legwork on company time
Good…er…work?
Thank…er…you?
You’re…er…welcome?
*bites Fruitcake for no reason*
NO LEILA!
Fruitcake has baconlube in it!!!
I don’t believe you. You are a boobie trap afterall.
Did she trap your boobie?
Ow. *regenerates vitten area using a magic fairy that popped out*
Honesty is the best policy but its not an insurance policy.
but it could be a funeral policy
Honesty is dead?
Honestly?
Dishonestly??
*Defends honah!*
I hate when people make it difficult for you to park/leave because they’re illegally parked. I don’t bother with info then. Once I dry-erase markered their windshield with “Not a parking space!”…. Because I’m a jerk.
Or just vindictive.
Permanent marker would have been better.
On a hot day unwrap a choclate bar, place on windshield, throw toilet paper around car.
*writes that one down in Little Book of Sneaky Tricks*
Personally I prefer the following:
“Thanks for taking up more than your fair share of parking, you inconsiderate Jackass!”
Better to just call the towing company. They have to pay all sorts of money, and usually get some dings anyways. Do not part where it says to not park!
We know his name is Jack (probably). We know there’s a witness who can tell you what he kinda looked like and what kind of car he had. You’ll get the color of the car from the damage. We also know at one point he rented a car, or worked for, from Heartz in Perth.
What Jack does not know is that he is about to enter another dimension: a dimension of sight, a dimension of sound, and a dimension of mind. He is bout to enter the Twilight Zone.
*looks out aeroplane window*
THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME! TO ME!!!!
…it was me lol
You realize that this is written on a just a random piece of paper. The guy probably wrote it himself and posted it.
Jack: He accidently your car.
HAHAHAHA
Wheres the fail? Sounds like a win for juck.. OH! That’s the fail! He wrote juck instead of jack.
Depending on the perspective, that’s at least one win.
Not a fail- not only is the picture not in context, this was on fMyLife.com recently.
triple fail, he spelled “write” wrong
Hahaha that is awesome!
i would say this is a win
FAIL? More like epic win.
They could have saved time and just wrote “Hi, I’m a total douche” and that would have been the same.
I love Australia.
Sorry, guys. I didn’t want to pay.
What Colour is your kettle?
I’ll bet Jackie boy doesn’t realize that the somebody he’s referring to probably has his license plate number!
i don’t get the double fail!
where is the double fail ?
ARGH! Can you morons PLEASE not fill the whole page with quasi-sensical nerdspeak, troll-isms, and other useless communications? When I click on a comments link, it would be really awesome if I could, just once, see information relevant to the background of the fail.
ADMINS: Perhaps you could take a break from launching ever less funny websites and mine the comments for useful information, separating the wheat from the oh-so-plentiful chaff.
totally agree to the dude above me
This is a fake…whoever submitted it probably made it. That “I’m writing down my details because someone is watching me” bit has been an urban legend for years. I’m sure it’s happened before in some fashion, but it’s word for word the same as the legend.
TOTAL WIN!!!
Jack Wins as far as I’m concerned.
Wasn’t this an urban legend?
haha hows this a fail? i call win =)
well unless ur the person getting the note xD
The current prime minister of Norway was actually caught *doing* this. This was a few years ago, and he was ‘only’ the leader of the labor party at the time, as the labor goverment had resigned a few days earlier.
He didn’t bother writing a note though, he only left a used parking stub under the wipers of the car he backed into. Fortunately a witness noted down his license plates.
This is straight out of a popular urban legend. Either someone was doing an homage to it or it gave them a sleazy idea!
lmao… pretend this is not funny ( Fail )
Double Fail = Win?
WIN???????????????????????
Isn’t this from an urban myth?
I REALLY hope that the guy who saw him is the one taking the picture. And that he called the cops.
Awe come on… That was actually also a french anecdote from FML…
I totally come from Perth.
People are really like that here.
LOL.. but not a fail, this is a WIN!!!
Who ever thinks here that this is a fail than you are a moron.
He is from Australia
THIS IS A WIN FOR JACK
That is gangster
What?
I don’t care that ‘Jack’ can’t spell…I’m callin’ this one a win.
Absolute WIN!
No, it’s not.
But it’s just as FAKE.
RONALDO
yeah i live in perth. ive had basically the same thing happen to me. perth drivers are shit
Actually, though he did “right” his letter on a Budget Rental Car pad, that doesn’t mean he rented a car from there or worked there. I have writing pads from many different places given to me by others. Some of them are from places I have never seen, been, or even heard of before obtaining the notepad. Secondly his name probably isn’t even Jack. If both scenarios were to play out, then EPIC WIN!!!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Not very nice, but amusing in a sad way.
#26
Shameless Jack, shameless.
He might as well have finished the whole name ‘Jack Ass’
fail? id say jack win xD
We witnessed a hit and (tried to run) they did the same thing faking writting the letter, but witnesses made them accountable by checking the note when they got in their car.. it was a fake so we took the licence and nabbed them. tee hee.
i bet it was a female…not too many guys write that neat
DID HE DIE?
yes
At least you had a laugh
I did the Same thing! lol
my name is coming up a lot on here…
JACK BARAKAT!
Well actually this could be a triple fail… he misspelled’ “write”.
You don’t have to rent a car from Budget to get these pads. I have two of them that Budget has sent to me with Ads to rent a car from them. I have never rented from them just Hertz.
There is 50% chance of epic win or fail!
MASSIVE WIN!!
This reply is so wrong in so many ways….. Please…..
lmao haha
a real note?
So Jack probably got on a plane later that day and left Budget to figure out what happened to their car.
GO AUSTRALIA!!
Wow Jacks a real jackass
this should be a win.
Win
LOL What a loser XD
Dude.. that paper is gonna lead them write to him!