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Cheezburger Network Blog
3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510…
With a scoop of ice cream.
What does that have to do with the fail?
Tequila and pi and ice cream are wonderful together
I just want the tequila.
*pours a shot for LEILA*
Aren’t you the DD?
DD as in drunken diva? If so, no. I am working towards it though.
I support you in your quest, Leila.
I hope that’s been properly fitted, fluff.
It seamster me she’s got it, but if not, other tailors may rise to the occasion.
NO NO NO….DD stands for devilish drunk
Nellie, perhaps you’d like a plate for that?
(clickie the name)
How about a pie?(clickie)
Funny you should post that! I received a card from a friend with that picture in the card saying that Pi plate was on backorder for me. It’s now May and I still haven’t gotten it. Should I ask her about it or just move on?
Maybe with the death of the FB biker guy, we can start a new tradition: When someone says “move on” we could add DOT ORG?
(just a thought…)
Let’s not and say we did
We did.
Very nice!
tequila and pee?
I would prefer some e as well.
The same thing e^i3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510… with a scoop of fire cream does.
2.71828 18284 59045 23536…x3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510… is good
We don’t appreciate such opinionated comments on FB!
You’re right, that is too subjective…
But who decides what is objective and what is not?
*Head Explodes*
HEY BEN!!!
.
Thankyou for fixing-up the video introduction! Just sayin’.
Yeah, Ben. Thanks for mucking it up. Some of us liked it the way it was. Pooh-pooh on all the other opinions!
*agrees with Judy*
*second’s that*
*thirds*
I liked my “DOT ORG!”
We could beginn to whine about it like others did against it before.
GIVE US BACK THE DOT ORG YOU MORONS!
Honestly you lot! If this blog were anymore polarized it’d sprout white fur!
Maybe next year they’ll put it back if we all vote on the webbys.
But they took it away this year because.. uhhh… where is that Universe Imploding button anyways?
*Throws in general agreement with the rest*
* Salutes General Agreement *
*degrades General Agreement to Captain Agreement*
If you get all the way to private agreement, it’s like arguing with yourself.
You sure have a lot of authority Arthur! Did that come with the Nobel Prize?
It’s my hubris, nothing more.
*ogles Arthur’s hubris*
Impressive!
*agrees with Avis agreeing with Judy*
*agrees WhoaNellie who was agreeing with Avis agreeing with Judy and didn’t realize he was also agreeing with me*
*hugs McFail for being so agreeable*
*agrees with WN agreeing with avis agreeing with judy*
Erm...*disagrees with FruitcakeSolvesAll agreeing with WN agreeing with Avis agreeing with Judy*Disagrees (not feeling particularly agreeable)
*disagrees with Twisted’s avatar*
*disagrees with Twisted’s claim for Chuck Norris fame*
*DISAGREES WITH PREVIOUS AGREEING*
CAPS IS FUN.
*disagrees with all past agreeing of self*
I’d like to agree, but I’m lost in a maze of just who is agreeing with who about what, though it probably doesn’t matter anyway. Therefore, I agree, if for no other reason than to be agreeable, for once in my pathetic life.
*agrees with fluffy disagreeing with Twisted’s claim to Chuck Norris fame*
*makes box go in as far as possible
twisteds* maybe? no comma
*snork*! I lovezz you guyzzzzz…..nuzzer keela, pleese?
*gibs Judy a keeler*
tanks. *Hic!*
Say no if Brewski asks you if you want to cure your hiccups. Trust me.
What’s that? Judy has the hiccups??
*pulls out some rubber gloves and an extra-long ET finger*
If you’re tempted to click Brewski’s clicke, don’t. Not unless you have an endless supply of brain-bleach.
Damn you. Now you made me click it twice today already.
That was easy – connection refused. Hmf.
*pouts*
Another failblog victim.
Pi al a mode?
I hate my computer. “a la mode” and that was because I read that as ice cream for some reason.
Well, just look at my avatar
Munch’s “The Scream”? Or is my computer lagging again?
Er… Ice Cream? You scream? Everybody screams for ice- okay, I’ll stop now.
AAAAAHHHH!!!!
*holds out bowl expectantly*
*still waiting*
Wow, what a slow ice cream parlor!
*wanders away dejected*
*Walks up to counter*
Sorry ’bout that! Just having some trouble with the ice cream machine and-
Hey, where’d Ms B go?
*gives Ms B a great big bowl of caramel fleur de sel ice cream*
Heaven in food form. And I’m not even much of an ice cream fan!
Thank you!
How on earth did you know that caramel is my favorite? You must be psychic!
It’s caramel ice cream with caramel swirls, chocolate squares (tiny) filled with caramel and sea salt. Heaven. And I’m eating some right now!
*drools*
Full of Yum!
Oh, Avis! Wherever did you find it? Sounds awesome!
The grocery store. Haagen Dazs. It’s their “Reserve” line. It cost a little more, but OH. MY. GOD. It’s just… heaven!
Maybe I missed something, but I never assigned myself an avatar. Don’t feel the need.
C’mon – lighten up! Don’t be a big pr!ck like your friend Hans Jæger.
@Cloral: About as much this video has to do with breathalyzers. Video FAIL.
Numeracy fail
I once memorized pi to 150 places, but now I've forgotten it.I tell people decimal places 12000 to 12009 are 5926512027 and no one’s ever challenged me.
I challenge you!!
* Starts incredibly tedious task of inscribing regular polygons inside circles. *
*pours a cup of tea and provides sandwiches to snack on for hard working MRN*
You can only use a compass and straight-edge! Protractors are cheating.
I once memorized the quadratic formula. It’s gone too. Now I have a hard time remembering my name.
Good thing FB fills it in for you here.
I’d forget if it were not for that!
Forget what?
*runs into thread screaming and pulling hair out*
*gives everyone a squeeze* Someone please put me out of my misery today!
*runs back out of thread screaming*
*squeeze*
What’s wrong??
*runs back into thread*
Extremely busy day at work, and no time to get anything done. Everyone is throwing their sh*t projects at me to do like I don’t have my own stuff to get done for the next 2 months before I leave for my trip. Looks like I’m working overtime every night this week…and possibly next week
*runs back out of thread*
Breezy in here, isn't it?I’ve always said that with most jobs these days there really isn’t vacation per say – just time-shifting of work (compressed b4 and after).
* per se (bukkit)
Couldn’t agree more. My hubby often tells me he needs to work extra hours because he’s going to be taking vacation. Vacation conception fail…
Ninja is doing very well at putting people out of their misery. I will fetch him for you. BUT, work is not worth to be killed over…you may want to reconsider.
Aww, that sucks! *squeezes mr. cuddles again* I hope it’s not too tedious.
elaborate or it didn’t happen
y= -b +/- square root of b^2 – 4ac / 2a
you gotta sing it like that pop goes the weasel song
-b+-(square root)b^2-4ac all over 2a
I once memorized your name – it’s…wait, don’t tell me…
hahahah pi with a scoop of ice cream
Cheers!
Happy Days!
Fonzie: eyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Teacher sez – Don’t drink and fail.
^^^ This is destined to power a fail someday.
*honors The_Teacher’s post in advance*
^^^So’s that
Whoa! Meta-reference or double pointer !?!?
^This one may have just tripled it!
Some people are amazingly stupid.
^^That one could also make it!
Ha! Bet he didn’t see that one coming!
^^ trying to get a fail-powering comment in.
Cripes! I bet that hurt!
(right back atcha, lady swimmer)
Arthur???? Misplaced reply (??)
Oh, I get it (whew!!)
I bet he never tries that again!
Was that supposed to happen?
The bridge wasn’t too low, the truck was too high.
^^That has a VERY good chance!
And then there was one.
Blue balls are always funny.
…it’s the recovery time that gets ‘em.
Why is this comment powering a video?
If you can read this without pausing the video you must have Ninja eyesight!
I am destined to never power a video.
Hoo boy, geek programmer humor…
Shall I dereference that pointer for you?
If it still addresses the issue, why not?
Old habits die hard.
Drink up everyone!
*pours Cabo shots all around*
Woo Hoo!
Thanks!! I have way too much blood in my alcohol system.
Started to celebrate a lil early?
It’s Cinco De Mayo — we were ordered to celebrate early.
*hickup*
What she said.
If you need to get rid of those hiccups, stick a finger up your a**. If you don’t believe me, clickie!
I’m affraid to clickie at work. Is it safe?
People at work ever get hiccups?
Yes it’s a work-safe clickie. Just an article from a medical journal.
*types with one free hand*
Let’s see…..what do you know!! Works like a charm. Thanks Brewski.
*offers hand to shake*
*quickly puts hand in pockets*
Glad to hear it! Gottagobye!
*Wonders how you found that.*
Not chance. I am soooooooo not gonna clickie!
OK fine. It’s an igNobel prize winner. The study was published in the Journal of Internal Medicine. The title of the article:
“Termination of intractable hiccups with digital rectal massage.”
And sorry, but no pics. Although I’m sure I could google up something appropriate…
*wonders how Hairy’s surgery is going*
Ah yes, poor Hairy is no longer Hairy. In spots.
*wishes Hairy well*
*sends Hairy happy vibes and good drugs*
*sends Hairy some soft cushions*
*sends Hairy an ET glowing finger*
Who’s Hairy?
Um, yeah. Still not gonna clickie. I’m sure it’s sound information, but there are some things I kinda would like to not know about.
That was great, but I prefer analog rectal massage.
*snork*
THAt is a great name for a rock band!
Didn’t the kids on Southpark have something similar?
Fingerbang.
Damn….I thought they said ‘Celibate’!
*cries*
*hic* Well, you can catch up. Everyone is looking good here right now. *HIC!*
I’ll get in trouble for drinking at work.
They don’t mind if your celibate at work.
I saw the guy in the cubicle next to mine masticating during his lunch break.
Was he doing that with hi wenis exposed?
I KNOW my students are matriculating this week…cheeky buggers.
Was he doing that with his wenis exposed?
I saw his uvula too.
He is of the bovine species, therefore he masticates.
People who masticate their sausage alot. Kobayashi
I can’t watch it. Again.
Also, WN…that’s a big number. :O
It’s as easy as pi once you know it.
Or as the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its’ diameter…or was that the opposite? No, I think it’s what I first said.
It’s only an approximation.
An obviously drunk guy is supposed to use a breathalyzer. He tries to drink from it.
Looks to me like the cop thought it was pretty funny!
Seemed like the cop was a casual dude trying to have some fun
Yeah, both of them.
You don’t have sound, I suppose? He laughs out loud.
Alas, no sound here at “work”…
Yes, that was quite the guffaw actually. Made me laugh just hearing that guy lose it!
*feels fortunate to work at an audio company, hence has sound!*
*feels fortunate to be a housewife, nobody cares what I listen to*
That was pretty funny. Gotta wonder if the cop got reprimanded, I imagine laughing at DUIs is kinda against the rules.
Attack of the lolcops!
They remind me of the cops from superbad
*snorkity!*
countity = 1
Never mind, it’s showing now.
It’s a big blank white space for me. I can’t see the fail.
What’s your blood alcohol level?
You’re not supposed to drink the website!
@Avis: How appropriate that “Breathalyzer fail” is where you chose to tell about your Friday-night escapades!
*grin*
We learned a very important lesson that night: If you are too drunk to open the container that you alcoholic beverage is in, you are drunk enough and should go to bed.
Very sage advice. Or if you try to drink from any random object placed in your hand. Like a bottle of BaconLube™.
*shudders*
At one point, Thursday night (we stayed home and had a few) we were in the elevator (at 11pm) and one of the girls whisper-yelled “All you bitche$” in the manner of the old Electric Company tv show opener. I very nearly shot beer out of my nose.
Avis – Then new beverage dispenser!
um…’Then’ = The
*holds glass under Avis’ nose*
*presses Avis’ head*
Erm…I’ll pass on this round, theng-kew-veddy-much.
Sissy.
.
Only works if I’m drinking. And I’m taking some time off from that for a bit. Saturday HURT!
:p @ Arthur.
Confession time: I don’t know what that is supposed to mean. Half a laugh?
Tongue sticking out.Thanks!
*bows*
*sneaks up behind Blog Monster with ET Finger*
*quietly giggles*
Again! Blog Ninja may have to be demoted if he keeps allowing Judy to sneak up on him.
That ET finger is great for curing the hiccups, you know.
So I read. Still not sure I want to try it though.
You must be adventurous, grasshopper, if you ever expect to experience a full life.
I’ll stand for a little less full then.
*wonders if a potato would cure hiccups*
*decides he’s thought WAY too much about hiccups lately*
But you’re not concerned that you think too much about potatoes???
One can never think too much about potatoes!
You planned a trip to Idaho
Just to watch potatoes grow
I understand how you must feel
I can’t deny they’ve got appeal
Whoah
You like them whether they are plain or they’re stuffed, oh yeah
Better face the facts, it seems you cant get enough
You know, you’re gonna have to face it
You’re addicted to spuds
- Weird Al Yankovic
(Let’s see if this clickie passes the FB filter. It’s safe, unless you’re really hungry and addicted to you-know-what,)
Where were you on the potato fail??
I’ve heard that IP is an extraordinarily good drink, but the side effects are scary, though: 95% of the test subjects eventually started walking around moaning “BREATHALYZEEEEEEEEEEEERS” and ate whatever breathalyzer they could get. Even wal-mart breathalyzers
Friday night Saturday morning I might have done the same as the guy! Maybe not really, but there was a guy on the el who surely would have.
I can see it now, I had to shut down and re-boot the computer.
This video blows
No, he was supposed to blow. But he didn’t.
This video drinks?
Not as funny, or punny.
It swallows.
Or tries to anyway.
Avis! Your icon is a swallow!
I thought it was a dove.Or a parrot?
*rolls eyes*
There is irony everywhere!
Hmm, my name is Wolfgang, my icon is Wolf, who is a wolf.
And my screen name means bird as well. I do like to stick to a theme.
Dragons, anyone?
I would, apparently.
Yeah, I see no irony in my name and avatar.
Mine is sort of self-explanatory.My name was required, my avatar was not – so, none here either.
*pinches the Admiral*
Whoop!
*SMOOOCH!*
Heee…!
You solve problems?
Yes.
African or European?Two Europeans with a twine between them??
What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
(Love the Monty Python reference, Blog Ninja! Thanks!)
“I don’t know!” *gets flung through the air*
*crosses bridge*
Sir Lancelot! ...Sir Lancelot!Ni
*pulls over suspected drunk driver*
*to determine sobriety of driver, before administering Breathalyzer test, asks the following questions*
“What is your name?”
“What is your quest?”
“What is your favorite color?”
“What is the average airspeed of a swallow?”
IT’s “what is the airspeed velocity of an unlaiden swallow?!”
“What is your name?”
“Sir Galahad of Camelot!”
“What is your quest?”
“I seek the Grail!”
“What is your favorite color?”
“Blue. No ye– AAAAAAAAAAH!!” *thrown into pit*
Whoa! Did I sleep right through the intermission?
European of African?
*Wipes blow away from nose*
What? Blow? Where?
Cheer up! Crack a smile!
All this blow I’m on how could I NOT smile.
1 + 1 = 2 it’s simple meth
I’m up to speed now, thanks.
Got my meth down.Great reply! You’re my heroine!
You inject humor into every comment.
I just crack up.Shhh. Pipe down.
Or else? What are you ganja do?
*weeds through the comments*
*jumps back in the thread with his buds*
That’s going to make it harder to chase the dragon.
But more rewarding in the end, no?
(And you’re only a dope if you don’t try!)
Don’t worry; I’m addicted.
Thufferin Thuccotath!! Thith thread ith thome theriouth meth, I’d thay!
*wipeth thpittle from mouse*
Double post fail? Didn’t we see this a few days ago?
Nope.
No.
Not unless you were on the vote page.
Or Youtube.
.
*squeeze* Hiya, aiki!
Hey ya! How goes it?
Getting better. Cold and rainy today. I’d rather be taking a nap. LOL!
.
How’s your world?
Sunny and warm. Come’on over! Sleep in the sun.
Mmmm, a nap in the sun with aiki. Sounds yummy!
.
*snuggle*
Yes. On the voting page.
Yeah…what they said.
Noooo..?
Yes.
(wanted to break the monotony
)
You break it…you buy it!
*stern glance*
Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy.
No cigar? What’s this world coming to?
*trades cigar for puppy*
I want a puppy ……………… Can I have the puppy?
*hands LEILA a doggy bag with what’s left of the puppy*
Here you go.
*lights the bag on fire and leaves it at Ninja’s doorstep* Thanks Starfish. Now can I have the pooping machine itself?
Why it there a burning dog on my doorstep?^^^ Destined to never power a FB video.
*snork*
*slaps face for mis-reading Starfish’s comment* Oh, uh…Starfish told me it was a bag of poo and to light and put it at your doorstep.
If Starfish told you to drive your truck under a bridge, would you do it? (kids!…)
It’s LEILA’s fault! *blames LEILA*
Hah! I love it.
As well you should.
Do you have ANY idea how much trouble went into making it? The lives lost? The fortunes squandered? The elemental physics disproved?
My favorite sign! Someday I will own a lunch-counter-style restaurant with that sign!
My hero
Instant Section 8
Hey, isn’t that one of Klinger’s dresses?
Surely this is the drunken master
Noble Prize, anyone?
Yeah, why not?
*accepts Nobel Prize*
*gives standing ovation*
Sorry, Arthur, that’s not the prize you actually got (check original post).
So what? Try to get my Nobel Prize!
*raises fists*
*gets Arthur’s Nobel Prize*
Damn sneaky Ninja!
I can get that back for you, if you like. I’m pretty sure that ninjas–sneaky though they are–are not fireproof.
*wicked grin*
Thanks Dragon, but he can keep it. I have the check, that’ll do.
Oooh yes…first round of drinks are on you then!
Sure!
*buys drinks for all, passes them around*
Prost!
Thank you, thank you very much…
Nellie, I notice you’re quick to jump into any thread where drinks are being passed out. Hmmm?
Man’s got to know his limitations (Dirty Harry).
I’m still trying to find mine
I found mine. This weekend.
Folks… Here is to fighting, stealing, cheating, and drinking.
If you fight, fight for a brother (or sister).
If you steal, steal a woman’s heart (or man’s).
If you cheat, cheat death.
And if you drink, drink with me.
Cheers to all!
I gotta admit Avis, that was one hell of an impressive performance. I can’t remember last time I even stayed up that late, much less drank that much booze in one evening. Congrats!
This one is select groups: May the men in your life be like grapes on the vine, well rounded, and well hung!
I can’t remember a single time I drank that much. Not because I never did, but because I tend to have blackouts.
Sadly, that wasn’t all of the drinking that happened. I wasn’t counting home before we left. Or the one beer on the el.
The el was hysterical though, some time later tonight I’ll post the whole story on my blog. Well, most of it. My mother reads that!
Ummm….not a big drinker here. I have been known to drink enough red wine to produce a pleasant buzz, which–if maintained–makes me almost unbeatable at both pool and darts. ‘Tis my secret weapon.
You’re not the only one whose pool and darts proficiency benefits from a little loosening and lubrication from alcohol. We’ll have to make a private wager, later.
Don’t forget to bring your cue.
*wicked grin*
How’s the clearance around the table…are there any tight spots we’ll get into?
I certainly hope so. Distraction is my other secret weapon in order to win a game of pool.
*demonstrates by coming up behind you and wrapping my arms around your waist*
Here…put one hand on the shaft like this…*guides*…and the other on the butt. Tell me how you like the feel.
Oh, I’m so glad I came back to this thread…I would have hated to miss that comment!
*takes her cue and feels again*
* bites medal *
*squishes roll of duct tape*
HEY!!!
*snatches duct tape away from Fruitcake*
This is one of my special sparkly rolls of duct tape! And you squished it!
I’m surprised you have any left, after that one session with the Admiral!
He didn’t say anything about a Nobel prize.
Thats not a nobel prize, its a small flask of vodka. Now drink!
Can breathalyzers detect noble gases?
Is there a nobleman in the house?
I like the new intro! I will miss the biker dude, though.Does this mean FB won the 2 categories? I never bothered to check.
Clever little loophole they found.OBITUARY
Faiblog biker dude, aged a few months, passed away quietly 10:00 am on the 5th of May, 2009. He will be missed.
*bows head*
“DOT ORG!”
Hey!
Jude!
Na, na, na na na na, BFF!
*raises glass*
Here’s to you and here’s to me, the best of friends we’ll always be, and if we should ever disagree, to hell with you and here’s to me.
*plays a dirge*
Oh Danny boy….
The not-a-pipes are not-a-calling!
No Glens, no mountainside? Not feeling it?
*closes eyes as vast grassy moors and fields stretch ahead*
*wipes tear from eye*
‘Tis a lovely song.
*builds monument*
Ive got it…”And it seems to me, that you lived your life like a candle in the wind (fail)”
He drinks a whisky drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink
(And so Danny Boy comes around again…)
That was an earworm I could have gone the rest of my life never encountering.
But you didn’t.
Aye, there’s the rub lass…
I helped someone with this just the other day!!! This should handle that. *hands Avis a carnivorous earwig, runs away*
Funny. (sarcasm)
*GLOWERS at earwig ’til it melts into a smudge of ichor*
*scoops ichor into plastic bag and throws it out of window*
There. Safely disposed.
*picks up plastic bag and tells LEILA to light it on fire and throw at a door*
Dont cry for me
Next door neighbour…
He sings a song that reminds him of the good times,
He sings a song that reminds him of the best times.
*stands behind Judy swaying side to side*
* flicks lighter *
Free Bird!
*Starts to play Stairway to Heaven, notices sign, bows head and walks away*
*picks up Gibson Les Paul Custom*
*Starts a stirring rendition of ‘While My Guitar Gently Weeps’*
*is stirred*
*is shaken*
What you guys doing starting without me, anyway?!?
*offers Gibson a tissue*
* looks at the floor, sweeps it *
That reminds me. (clickie)I like “Top hat full of shrimp” and Crate & Barrel dig even better!
Hee, hee.Biker’s dirge:
# Living easy, living free
Season ticket on a one-way ride
Asking nothing, leave me be
Taking everything in my stride #
*smacks Ninja on the head as he bows* Oooopsy!!!!
*removes LEILA left arm*
Oooopsy!!!!*replaces LEILA’s left arm with a series of connected poptarts*
POPTARTS??? What kind?
Strawberry!Okay…I do like strawberry.
Good thing I am a righty… Dude! that’s a little harsh no? *picks up arm from the floor and smacks Ninja w/ it*
My, my, my...You are a slow learner, aren't you?Which limb next, Ninja? Which limb next?
There aren’t any left. I KNOW!!!
Your arms don’t grow back?
species WIN!!
Not the way he cut them. I do wish I was Starfish.
Cuz I could kick Ninja’s ass till the mooCows come home.
I was thinking I'd just go with the other arm for now.Cut off all 4 limbs and we’ll just call it a draw.
Good idea. Come Patsy!Ok….
MRN! I am so surprised at you … *secretly laughs at comment* How could you????
Just going for the MP and the Holy Grail reference – nothing personal.
Not yet. I will let you know when you can have it. Sheesh!!! What’s the freaking rush?
*taps foot impatiently*
*cop jumps out bathroom stall*
Still up to your same antics Larry Craig?? You’re going downtown sir.
*tazes Blog Ninja*
…and chopping begins in 3, 2, 1…..
You don’t wanna do that.
*looks over at UW’s foolish attempt to fight the very laws of nature*
*gets UW’s funeral preparations in order*
Can I have someone contact the next-of-kin?*contacts UW’s sister-in-law*
*makes a copy of own eulogy and hands over to UW* At least I am coming back. Nice knowing you UW.
OMG, you have Zombie Flu?!!?!?!?!
Did you just smack the ninja?!
*covers eyes, ears and mouth*
*hands BFF LEILA’s eyes, ears, and mouth*
Here, cover these as well.*opens eyes, ears and mouth*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
*shrieks and runs out of room, jumping in to jeep and speeding into the distance*
I suppose you can have these back then, LEILA.Keep ‘em! Consider them my gift to you.
May I have the right earlobe?
EW! No.
I already gave it to him. You didn't want it.WTF?? At least have some common decency to ask me first Ninja!!!!
*big sigh*
LEILA, I was wondering if Fruitcake could have your ear.*another big sigh*
Friends, Romans, countrymen……..
*claps hands over ears*
Last time I lent you an ear, you didn’t give it back for a MONTH!
Sorry about that. I was a bit Preoccupied with the Ides of March.
Didn’t you hear the prophecies? Be careful!
*sneezes*
ET TU!
Use a tissue, you Brute.
Great, now I’m hungry for a Caesar salad.
W00t.
*nibbles right earlobe*
Looks like he got those tires fixed from yesterday.
I think he had to get a whole new Jeep after the explosion.
Ewww!
?
*begins writing her obituary before losing total consciousness* I will be back Ninja and you WILL suffer my wrath!!!!!
…and I hope for your own sake you sterilized whatever it is you used to chop me with because I will be pissed.
Oh, boohoo. Who cares that my sword wasn't steril...I mean, was sterilized.Lol, owned.
*nothing but a stumps rolls and knocks Ninja off his feet* That’s what you get!!! *rolls away*
*looks at LEILA trying to knock over his shadow*
*amused expression*
I see you have mastered the Kagemusha technique, Ninja-san.
*bows*
*bows to BFF*
*sneaks up behind Blog Ninja with ET finger*
You think he’d learn by now…
I considered warning him, but thought it would be funnier to watch him learn the hard way.
*readies potato for Ninja as he bows*
Sigh… I guess that means this is the last time I’ll ever say this then:
“DOT ORG!”
* bows head yet again *
*weeps just a little*
*salutes*
# I cry just a little
when he plays piano
in the dark
To be honest though, I was about ready to retire it anyway. I was starting to feel like I had to say it sometimes, which made it no fun.
Your legacy will be continued.
In strange, hitherto unknown ways.
It has a life of its own now, Cloral. You can let it go if you want to; it will always be associated with you.
*POUNCESQUEEZENUZZLESMOOCH!!!*
Ahh! Get comfy, ’cause I’m not letting you go for awhile.
*NUZZLESPOON*
*schnuggles closer*
I’m just fine with that.
*sigh* I lack a quick mind to keep up with all these comments.
Start at Engrish and work your way up to the major leagues?
I’m afraid it may take a very long time for me to catch up. I think i will just watch from the sidelines.
*stops*
*waves at teisn over on the sidelines*
*continues*
Are you at least wearing a cute cheerleader skirt?
*agrees with MRN – a cheerleader skirt is worth a lot around here*
*looks for McFail’s arrival*
Sorry, the cheerleader outfit’s being dry-cleaned today.
You didn’t go out with that guy from two fails ago?
Hmmm Breathalizer…
Hi it’s Vice with Bottle Blow!
How many times have you been sitting at the park,
Minding your own business with a bottle, and some
Jerk police officer gives you a ticket for
Drinking in public?
Happens to all of us.
But not anymore!
Bottle Blow make it look like
You’re already blowing the police officer
So he’ll leave you alone.
The reason you’ll use Bottle Blow again and again
Is it’s so easy to fill. Watch!
1
2
Pops open!
These other breathalyzers you’ve seen in the stores
You can’t open them up
You can’t get the booze in there
They’re worthless. Forget about them!
I like the image of “already blowing the police officer”.
Ya know, Vince? I like that. I’m gonna let you have that one.
*golf clap*
If you drink too much you better have your Uroclub.
Right, erm, on. !
*practices breathalyzer before she gets sloshed* PUFF! PUFFFFFFFF!!!
*talks into mic backwards*
Oh, this isn’t even a breathalyzer! Silly me.
PASS!!!!! That’s how it works! Oh wait breathalyzer, thats not the same as bong is it?
No. Sorry sofaking. If you’ve been partaking in any Cinco De Mayo festivities, you may need to practice as well. Here’s another unit.
I am not participating in May 5th activities. I don’t want to get swine flu. It turns you into a zombie, if you don’t belive (clickie)!
You know I was just saying, this swine flu thing would much more exciting if it turned people into zombies.Did you read the article on BBC news? Scary.
I read the news today – oh boy!
Yes. Finally, an opportunity to use my skills for good! Other than hacking up trolls and LEILA, that is.So, will you kill people with swine flu or try to find a cure for the virus?
I think I'll kill people with swine flu. But both ways, kill people infected with it, and kill people by using it.So…… You just wanna raise the body count, don’tcha? -_-:
Essentially, yes.I am just going to change my name to Robert Neville and hide out in an abandoned NY City building with my trusted german shepherd.
No, please, no, no, I just cried when the dog died! Please don’t be Robert Neville! Be his brother, please!!!
Disgusted you would say my name in the same sentence as trolls.
*makes a dramatic exit*
*raises lights, cues music, and rolls epilogue*
In five, four, three
*silently signals two and one with hand*
Then it’d be Zombie Flu.
At the Ghandi Zoo?
It’s bonding glue?
Fondling you?
What is that smell????
The smell of success!
or fail. I can’t really distinguish them well.
fail smells more like asphalt… or at least that’s what i smell when I fail
Cooking BaconLube from previous fail. That stuff lingers!
I think I still have some on my forehead.
*aims spear dart at red Baconlube on FruitcakeSolvesAll’s forehead*
Bullseye!
*pulls out spear dart and chucks it back at UW’s foot*
Direct hit!
He's not quite dead!Zombie Flu!!!!
I OBJECT!!!
Ha.
Well, I guess it’s about over with for now…
Haha.
Hahaha.
Hahahaha.
Hahahahaha.
Hahahahahaha.
Hahahahahahaha.
Hahahahahahahaha.
Hahahahahahahahaha.
WTF is going on down here?while (IQ < 60)
{ha++;}
It ended just as quick as it started...Cigarette?
I was referring to the Ha's, but I suppose it could apply to smokes too.Noooo… *sigh* I interpreted your comment as if you were refering to sex.
I think that comment has many applications.And MRN’s application has many comments
Am I the chattiest one here? I’ve never kept score… Guess that’s not a good thing, is it?
…or après-sex
This is just another boring troll. Imagine what the world would look like when the trolls would rule…
*balled up in the corner, rocking back and forth*
thetrolls thetrolls thetrolls…
Ninja, are you referring to your sprouting nether regions? It’s natural. It happens to everyone.
Where’s Boggy? I bought him a brand new computer mouse.
*PS: Ya might wanna wipe away some of the fruitcake crumbs*
This is on Croatian or Serbian. The Cop says to a guy “Udahnite duboko i pusite dugo dok ja ne kazem dosta.” Wich means Take a deep breath and blow until I say stop. And the old man sakes the breathalyzer and tryes to drink it like a Tequila from bottle.
I think this one spoke for itself. Thanks though!
Thanks for the language info! I couldn’t define for myself which Slavic language they speak…
HUHUAHIHIHUU
*raised eyebrow*
*peers into sky*
That’s quite an impressive eyebrow raise you got there, Ninja.
I've been working on it.Look out! It’s blocking the view of a helicop-
Too late.
*watches as flaming wreckage crashes nearby*
*whips head around*
*damages passenger jet also flying overhead*
Jeezum Crow! If you start shaking your head side to side, you could terrorise the skies!
.
I shouldn’t have said that.
*starts jumping around*
*strikes low flying Dragon*
*scorches eyebrow*
*lowers eyebrow*
*returns to a dark corner*
…Was that a fly-by eyebrow that just hit me?
*wonky eyebrows, with one raised and the other lowered*
CONGRATULATION FAILBLOG on WINNING THE 2009 PEOPLE’S VOICE WEBBY AWARDS!
*gets out the party balloons and dance music*
Are the balloons filled with helium?
*opens one, inhales*
“DOT ORG!”
*passes out yet MORE alcohol*
Hmm. Does this mean we’ll get a bunch of brain-dead newbies flooding the forums with crap? I mean, there’s already plenty of brain-dead regulars like me.
I hope that the really brain-dead hate this comment section.
Arthur, your squeaky helium voice (with the German accent) made
me literally LOL.
*squeeeeze!*
And YAY!!! Failblog ROCKS!!!
*would like to think that we have something to do with that*
urrrrgg, I’m a brain hungry newbie…
Wow, it won both comedy and weird. how did collegehumor not even get nominated? (not a diss to failblog, I love failblog)
i’ve seen this on several news sites before…
I doubt that sites showing this deserve the label “news”.
You’d be surprised at the kind of crap that gets passed off for ‘news’ nowadays.
Ok so what does it mean? We won the popular vote but we’re not president?
I’m taking this to the Supreme Court! …Oh, never mind…
My country rules again @ failblog!!! Viva Portugal!!!! lol
BREAKING NEWS: TEXAN WOMAN DIES OF SWINE FLU
Clickie.
Several school districts in the San Antonio area have closed. For about a week. And there are about 5 confirmed cases in Illinois, one of them about 4 blocks from me. Not fun to contemplate when nursing the hangover to beat all hangovers.
Three schools have been shut in London, and there have been more than 10 confirmed cases here. I’m now officially paranoid of people who sneeze on the Tube.
The strain that is going through the US is quite mild, really. This has the potential to be the most-blow-out-of-proportion-health-scare since SARS.
To someone like me, who works in a restaurant and has no sick day benefits, any flu epidemic can be a financial disaster, even a mild one.
(Alas, sometimes, but not often, I miss having an office job.)
I have to agree with you on this one. I only know what I do about this because they keep making such a big deal about it in the news. And both my friends were talking about it all weekend. Saturday they told me if we all died of swine flu they were gonna kill me.
This “fail” is taken from other site, and it’s pretty old.
Well, the old ones are the best.
Arthur! darkcoupon trying for the Kindle!
I know that video.It is filmed in Romania(my home-country).
Sooo… Romania is ruled by Portugal? (Or maybe it was in the past, since this apparently is an old video.)
Didn’t you know? The Portuguese Empire, which existed until a few minutes ago, stretched from Portugal to Romania (A Portuguese Seafood shop).
No it isn’t!!!! 100% portuguese!!!! I can perfectly recognize the language they are speaking…!!! duhh…
Sorry, but I believe duhh… is spoken primarily in my home country of USA.
Believe me it’s not anymore!! Specially among teens…
Few more months and i think it will be part of every countries dictionary!!
:p
You’re hella kiddin’ me, right?
I f you say this is Portuguese, then you have serious language problems…This is Romania, I live in Romania and recognize the language too.
Hmmm, I think he needs another drink.
Good thing I didn’t encounter one of those last night.
Haven’t seen Khaaaaan in a while… he’s not here to celebrate the glory of his powered fail.
n00bs all of you!
he’s drinking a healing potion…isn’t that obvious?
This is from Romania my friends
)))))
@owner
thanks for getting rid of the intro!!
Yea, what the hell does this old man hove to lose, nothing I’ll bet.
Thank you for taking down that intro. I couldn’t stand it.
Why?
grandpa???
i’ll take a slug of that!
*gives slug* careful, it’s sticky
New FAIL BLOG
Hey Pseudo-Cop: It’s illegal to force people to take the breathalyzer, you know? Because it’s as reliable as a cow’s ass in elderberries, divided by pi. Take a blood test if he does not trust that shitty device, and be good.
I believe in Connecticut you can insist that the breathalyzer test be done at the police station (as opposed to the scene of the pullover), but outright refusal is an automatic 6-month license suspension for 1st offense.
It’s funny, but it looks like it was staged!
Most certainly is. T’was satirical, I bet.
My goodness, people certainly do know how to use modern equipment! :O
Thank you for eliminating that stupid falling bicycle intro. That intro really pissed me off with the gay “.org” ending.
I dunno. I understand where the fail comes from, that the drunk mistook the breathalyzer for a bottle of alcohol, but at the same time, the cop falling over laughing in a way makes this a kind of win, I think.
It isn’t fake. Belile me we in croatian have cops like this and drunk peapole like this. Belive me
i would like to c that guy game cs
He must have been really drunk
More like a WIN
keyboard cat version
This video is from Serbia actually.
“C’mon, just blow into this so we can finish up and leave. Take a deep breath and blow until I tell you to stop. C’mon, c’mon, be a buddy, please. *laugh* Oh f**k it…”
That would be an approximate translation of the video. Besides, the car behind the old man is obviously Peugeot 206, like the ones Serbian patrols use.
I oddly enough JUST saw this on Jay Leno as I was browsing this on here!
FIRST!
thats in russia (im russian and understood the old man)
No. You’re so wrong. If that’s Russian than you’re not a Russian… it’s Romanian 100%
OMGLOLZROTFLCOPTERLMFAO
Oh my god why do you people have so much trouble commenting on the actual fail. Stay on topic you retards.
It’s Serbia (NOT Siberia), trust me.
:):)
:D:D
Furthermore its region of Machva.
I can tell by the accent.
haha.. i love this video………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..:)………………………………………………………….;)………………….
Yeah, it is Serbia. 100% – It is our EPIC FAIL.