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wtf are YOU doing
She better be sorry, once I’ve heard the f-word there is no way I can stop thinking about it. (unless I get some baconlube). The f-word is the tongue of
satan. YOU WILL ALL BURN IN HELL!
I like the way she says SOME people MIGHT find it offensive…it’s also ILLEGAL according to the FCC. And there were undoubtedly children watching. News anchor FAIL and apology FAIL.
Parks, you’re only kind of right. The FCC does ban that word… Except after 10pm on the networks. There are safe harbor times when it is reasonably accepted that young children would not be watching.
Networks nearly never take advantage of that leeway because advertisers don’t want there product to be associated with the f-bomb.
American Tv is so ridiculous :S
American families are ridiculous.
They ban the f-bomb on shows that kids shouldn’t be watching to be watching to begin with.
American parenting Fail.
Prudish sensibilities Fail.
Dark Ages mentality WIN.
*drops the mic and walks off stage*
*picks up mic*
Hello? Is this thing on? Testing, testing.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen…
*just noticed his typo and wishes he had the mic again*
*steals mic from WhoaNellie and gives it back to Malicite*
*shrugs*
*picks up guitar, plugs it it, cranks 5 Marshall stacks and 5 ENGLs up to 11*
*prepares to accompany Malicite*
*steps on stage with a triangle in his hand*
*blushes*
WOOOHOOO Arthur!!
*bows unconfidentially*
*grabs double-neck bass*
Big bottom! Talk about mud flaps, my girls got ‘em!
Big bottom drives me out of my mind!
How could I leave this behind?
*ahem* sorry.
*Hands mike back to Malicite*
*quietly replaces one “it” with “in” while nobody is looking*
What the F are YOU doing??
It was for his previous comment. Took me a bit to figure it out.
Not to worry – it all becomes perfectly clear at precisely to best possible moment
Oh I was just saying “what the F are YOU doing??” cuz it’s fun.
*gasps*
*drops pants and inserts cucumber into rectum*
*defecates cucumber and chocolate logs on the ground*
*just wanted to put asterisks around something…*
*walks onto stage, realizes that this isn’t the bathroom, puts head down, walks off*
Up to 11, you know that’s “one more louder” than most marshall stacks?
*Waits in the audience for what is going to happen*
*gets bored because nothing is happening*
*goes to get some popcorn*
*comes back with popcorn and waits*
c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker
*picks up bass, plugs it in cranks 3 Ampeg SVT 8×10 to 12*
*prepares to “accompany” Nellie*
*grabs SG and 13 Line 6 PODs up to 11 and joins WoahNellie*
*looks to left and right and realises only person is himself*
*applauds anyway*
*claps*
Wait, why are we clapping?
*claps Malicite on the back and then gives him a squeeze*
Don’t worry, Mal, redundancy is one of those things we can do over and over and still get it right every time. *little kiss on Mal’s cheek for good measure*
*squeeze blush*
Danka
Bitte
What are we squeezing? I want in =)
*offers ‘e’ to Malicite for his ‘a’*
I had no idea His Holiness uses Failblog.
Considering he’s catholic and you’re 15… What I’m trying to say is RUNBFF!!!
I need a free space.
NEW WORD!!
*enters it into the Failblog dicitionary*
where’s it
*quietly creeps in from lurkdom and steals extraneous ‘i’, creeps out*
*creeps self out*
*stops deepblue and steals back the NON-extraneous i*
It’s a Failblog thing. Trust me…it works.
*points to failblog.org/2008/11/26/dictionary-fail/*
The video is sponsored by Arthur Eld!
Woo hoo!!! Arthur finally got the recognition he deserves!!!
Not only that, he’s been rocking out at incredibly high volume on stage with a triangle!!
Triangle wins.
Yeah, it’s good but it needs more cowbell.
*screams*
-pause..
*takes the mic and sticks it up the anus*
-pause…
*screams because of pain and gets a blackout*
*Uses word for the second time*
RUNBFF.
Stay classy, San Diego!
c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker
lol to this comment
I second this. All of it.
The US is just incredibly hypocritical.
And still stuck in the dark ages.
*scribbles out “The US is” and replaces with “The former Bush Admin. was” and furiously erases the last statement*
I wouldn’t rule out Obama yet GBF. He has a bit to prove yet.
Yeah, some things are just too deep rooted.
*sigh*
Damn Puritans.
yeah, what the F are they doing…
Right on
*scratches out “The former Bush Admin. was” and writes “All politicians are”
No – Moral FAIL for you.
We have to have guidelines or we are
anarchists. There is nothing wrong with these guidelines.
She said a word which is rude and crude. Unless you are a
complete low life you get that. But obviously your, because you don’t.
I’m glad you’re not in this country. Stay where you are and keep
your moral ineptitude to yourself.
Cleanup on aisle 12! Who has the bukkit?
The bukkit isn’t going to help with her logic errors.
Or her absolutely HIGH-larious hypocrisy.
*roffles*
How about the new improved SUPER BUKKIT? Will that help?
No help for that one.
Hello furmommy.
You are glad that he is not in this country. I am sad that you are in this country.
It would seem that the only ones allowed in, what you appear to believe is, your country are those that hold your beliefs. I have a bit of shocking news for you. The number of different sets of moral rudders in the United States, and the world for that matter, is roughly equal to the population. We need these differences.
Should she have sworn on the air? In my opinion, no. Should you act holier than thou to someone who disagrees with that? Again, no.
Thus ends the calm rational portion. Now for my much needed venting.
Pull out the broom stick that you have stuck up your ass and quit looking down your nose at others.
I believe you have found your muse.
He certainly a-muse-d ME!
I needed that. Off to bed now. There are scans to scan, medicine to divvy up (I need to supply my own Lugol’s in the hospital. There is a shortage of that too.), appointments to make and keep, and throats to throttle tomorrow.
Night all.
yeah it’s not like the word even has any meaning whatsoever, well it does, but that doesn’t mean that your a blight on the world if you do.
it only has the meaning you give it and it ranks 0 on my list
Amen Malicite…people honestly being offended by these words
really need to loosen up…
I second that! You’re all LOL ftw
Gray area–
Does ‘nearly never’ mean the same as ‘always?’
This is so hysterical I can’t stop laughing anytime I hear/see it. I can tell she’s still pretty ticked off during her apology. I can’t help but wonder what was done to her to upset her so. Surely she has a side to the story that we’ll never know.
Kids watching? What kid watches the news when they’re home from school?
I am sure she got fired over it. The word…it is just so insidious…sneaks into everything.
WTF was he doing is what I want to know…
Well, ‘Parks’,
that’s not what she said. Gosh you have a bad short-term memory!
‘Many people find offensive’
Considering that there are many who don’t find this offensive, I guess that’s an okay apology.
Short-term memory FAIL
Talkback FAIL
Actually, she said “I said a word that many people find offensive.”
No SOME or MIGHT about it. Listening FAIL.
It isn’t ILLEGAL. The FCC doesn’t make laws, and nobody goes to jail for saying the f-bomb on television. The FCC sets policy that, if not followed, only results in fines from the station or network.
She actually said “said a word that many people find offensive”. Odd. What were you listening to?
Observation Fail.
Her actual line was “a word that MANY people find offensive”.
dude, thats not what she said. she said “i said a word that many people find offensive”
@heh Perfect! haha
ok all curses are bad, but ‘the tongue of satan?’…come on
Bad…huh?
But it feels so good to say them!
gotta love those glottal stops and fricatives! And, puh-leeeze, altho I’m not in favor of carpet-F-bombing, don’t tell me that hearing “the tongue of satan” is going to defile our nation’s children any more than, ooh, I don’t know, anything they see on daytime tv or perhaps hear on iTunes.
Yeah, some sound-guy should have bleeped her, and yeah, she should have been paying attention to the little red light blinking over the “We’re On The Air, Asshole” sign, but jumpin’ jeehosaphat, people, chill the frack out!
Concentrate more on keeping your kids away from child molesters, your pain medication, Heidi Fleiss, and tweekers and freak out less when they hear swear words. It’s your job as a parent to talk to your kids about “bad” things that they see and hear and help them to put those things in proper perspective. That’s what we used to call “building character.”
Damn, I kinda went off there. sorry. my 1st amendment nerve got a little worked up.
The “F-bomb’s” the Debil!
lol, they’re kidding. I don’t know too many stupid religious zealots who would mention Bacon lube.
baconlube???? L M A O !
At least I won’t freeze, D-Bag.
wait, i can’t tell r u serious
Are you being serious??
You’re being sarcastic I hope
lol are u serious?
Why, Yes, I am Dooing. Thanks for asking.
Imposter!!
I’m your annoying nephew: Scrappy Dooing.
hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i love fail blog..
and im sure they love me too!
Nice to see Washington State on Fail blog again. Not enough fails going on up here. Unless you want to talk politics.
So what in the hell is wrong with the word “grocer,” anyway?
such a win
My take on that is “You go.” I mean it’s not like she flashed a boobie or anything.
personally i wish the news was more like that. cursing would make it so much better
roflmao, man, I wonder WTF they were doing.
this site is gay
Your site is gay, oh wait. you dont can has one!!!
(gay)
It never fails to amaze me, after all these years, how many truly stupid there are in the world.
And look! There are two of them, right above me!
I wasn’t even sure how to respond to them. See what happens when we aren’t more vigilant and beat the trolls?
*beats trolls*
*bites they little heads off and nibbles on they tiny feet*
Here, Boggy! Fresh meat!
Somes body Called BOGGY?BOGGY HERE! YAY!
Your wunts BOGGY Smushes sum TROLLS?
Com'ere lil' TROLLIES an see!BOGGY gots sum cookies fore Trolls,
comes an eats 'em!
HA HA HA HAR HAR HAR HAR !!!!!
o.0
*knows she should stay away… but really wants a cookie…*
*gives Boggy a fruitcake to help lure trolls*
*fills their corpses with ninja stars*
I saw that!
Hard to miss.But you’re usually so sneaky, moving
about unnoticed.
Well, yes. However, the blood spurtings made for a sight.Hehe, clickie.^^*Shudder*
I see. Um….Cookie?
*Offers whole plate*
Don't mind if I do.Blog ninja you’re my hero.
*sleeps soundly every night, knowing Blog Ninja is always ready to defend FB*
Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna BLOG NINJA!!! BLOG NINJA!!!
We should make a call-sign, so we know we can always reach him!
Who do you call when you need trolls beaten?
BLOG NINJA!!! BLOG NINJA!!!
*drinks 3 vodka martinis and attempts a slight Scottish accent*
“How do you do. My name is Ninja. Blog Ninja.”
It appears I left Fail Blog right when I was being celebrated.You missed one hell of a party too. Just look at the mess everybody left behind.
Wow. Hey, I need everyone to get back here and clean this up!!*taps foot and makes loud throat clearing noises*
I’ve just realised I have a History homework! Byeee!!!
*screeches away in jeep*
BOGGY MISS A PARTY?No ones Called BOGGY?
BOGGY ALL MAD NOW!!*EATS TABLES PLATES & COOKIE CRUMBS*
Comes back BondFan Frind!BOGGY wunt to goes picks up GURLS!
We cans picked them up and they bereally high up an them all skreems!
BOGGY like makes Gurls Skreems!
Comes pway wif BOGGY!
Someones wunts a pway BOGGY?Get back here!*ninja stars the tires on jeep*
*swerves into tree*
*massive explosion*
Oh shi...Ah fuc...Oh well.*crawls out of jeep holding steering wheel and points a quivering finger at Blong Ninja*
I’l-l-l-l s-s-e-e-e y-y-you in c-cour-
*collapses*
BONDFAN FREND!OH NOOOOO! Hims all hurteding!
*RUNS OFF TO GET A HOSPITAL*
*BRINGS BACK ENTIRE HOSPITAL*
You HOSPITAL fixes BondFan Freind?NOW!!!
I'd say you're f*rsted, Blong Ninja.*SMUSHES Blog Ninja!*
*STOMPS & SMEARS Blog Ninja**wakes up in hospital*
*almost has seizure seeing Boggy peeking through window*
*looks at newspaper headling: “BLONG NINJA SUED FOR £1,000,000,000″*
Ooops.
*SMUSHES Blong Ninja! TOO*
also*STOMPS & SMEARS & STOMPS Blong Ninja*Oww.*CAREFULLY PUTS HOSPITAL BACK*
Owww.
Come on, Boggy. Let’s go make some “get well” cookies for BondFan Freind. *takes Boggy’s paw, leads him toward kitchen*
You get to work the mixer, okay? I know you like to do that.
*Takes SMUSHED Blog Ninja, shape into a big throwing star*
*BOGGY flings Blog Ninja into Dark Side of the MOON*
BOGGY LIKE MIXERING
BOGGY LIKE COOKIES
BOGGY can eats Mixering Bowl when dun
*Reshapes Blog Ninja back into shape using special Tiger style Kung Fu*
Young one, you are too quick. You must slow yourself to be a true master.
*looks at ever increasing list of inedible things that Boggy has eaten*
I guess so.
Yes, Boggy, you can eat the mixering bowl.
Thanks, aiki. It's not a pleasant thing to be shaped into a throwing star by a BOGGY.Good that he cleaned up the mess after the party though
“Stupid” being a category all its own, of course. And plural.
So there.
"Stupid" is a Gory E Cat ?
Is Cat fum ICHC? Wuz cute?
BOGGY cormfused!Poor Kittties Cat
*sits & cries*
There, there
*pat pat*
No worries, Boggy, no kitties were hurt during the making of Failblog. The PETA monitors would never allow it.
Err… yes.
*sweeps remains of a cat under the rug*
ARTHUR!!! YOU REPLACE THAT CAT RIGHT NOW!
how many truly stupid……what? hmm, maybe you would like the “bukkit”.
No indeed; I ’splained shortly thereafter
God loves stupid people, cause he made SOOOO many of them!
i wanna say wtf are YOU two talking about? hahahaha
happy happy joy joy
happy happy joy joy
Your pen is gay.
His pen is cold.
His pen wanted no part of this
His pen is by no means mightier than ninja’s sword.
They who live by the pen may die by the sword.
thepenisinhermouth
This is MY fail! Don’t you touch it!
)
(YAY!
Hooray for Arthur!!! For those of us without sound, please explain the fail.
When you see the cruise ship, the female anchor yells “What the fcuk are you doing?!” Then she has to apologize to the audience.
The funniest part is they play that clip again for everyone to here, without editing or bleeping it out.
Here here!
There there!
Everywhere everywhere!
.
*SQUEEZE* Congrats to you, Arthur!!
*group squeeze*
Yahhhh Arthur!
Hey Cuddles
Hey Malicite! *squeeze*
So I read you had a great weekend! I need to start hanging out with you. My weekend blew.
Dare I ask, how’d your date go Mr Cuddles? Not good?
I assume ‘blew’ did not occur.
.
.
(sorry, just couldn’t resist it)
Aww Mr. Cuddles! I may weekends awesome…or I drink till things are fun.
Sorry to hear things did not go well
You still rule in my book! *squeeze*
Thanks Malicite!
*squeeze*
My date was alright. I don’t think it was as much a date as I hoped, just 2 friends going to the movies. Things don’t really seem like they’re going anywhere and he doesn’t really seem interested. It’s really no big deal, I had a feeling that was going to happen. I don’t have much luck when it comes to dating.
And Velvet, the date was Wednesday night, not this past weekend. I was supposed to hang out with him this weekend, but he ditched me because of the crappy weather lol.
Aww I’m sorry Cuddles
Dating sucks…and I refuse to do it anymore :/
I’m at the point where I’m giving up on dating as well. And if one more person tells me “love will find me when I’m not looking or when I least expect it” I swear I’ll Philly shank them. And then feed them their intestines. With a rusty spoon.
Shame on him. I know a certain ninja that might be able to knock some sense in him…
*wanders in, waves, wanders out*
*waves at Blong Ninja as he wanders out*
*quickly fixes name*
I don’t know who Blong Ninja was, but are you the ninja who is going to knock some sense into the guy I like?
Philly shank? I have never heard that term before… but yeah….
That’s like when a bird poos on you and someone will (always) chime in…”well that’s good luck!” In either case, if you need a shanker, I’m your man.
On a slightly more annoying note…someone at my work brought it their child last week…I swore it had chicken pox (which is important since I never had them…)
I asked to be swine flu quarantined from the child. People thought I was making a swine flu joke and laughed, but I wasn’t… The little drooling rugrat had it…dammit… The parent didn’t even come tell me personally… I got a “hey wanna hear something funny…” email. *fails*
You didn’t get the chicken pox, did you?
Philly shank is when you break a beer bottle on a bar and cut a b*tch up. Kind of like how prisonmates do it with sharpened toothbrushes in jail.
My sister-in-law showed up at a family dinner last night with her son covered in sores. We asked if he had chicken pox and she laughed it off. She then let me know an hour ago that she took him to the doctor today and he has a very contagious staph infection, and wanted to warn me because my kids were playing with him yesterday…and again this afternoon after she knew about it! Yeah, I sympathize Mal.
What's in it for me?I’ll give you some of my free drinks at aiki’s strip dance down below.
I read it as Philly steak the first time…which was awesome…
Hehehe I did the Philly shank thing once to diffuse a situation….it works.
*thinks Mr. Cuddles is a brawler*
MsB…yeah…people don’t seem to take disease into account…
I hope your kiddos are okay though!
I’m only a brawler when I need to be. And now, I am done for the day. See everyone tomorrow! *group squeeze*
Buh bye!
It's a deal!*squeeze*
Thanks Mal, I sure hope so too. Guess there’s no taking them anywhere until I know…
*squeeze*
I’m sure everything will be okay
*SQUEEEZES mr. cuddles*
I feel you, mr. cuddles…I really do. People have been telling me that “it will happen when you least expect it” crap for years. Well, I stopped expecting it a long time ago and GUESS WHAT??
Pfft.
Those people who were aspirants were obviously insane. I could say more, but I’m sure the Admiral will find far better words than I could. So I’ll just *SQUEEZE* and leave.
Awww. Thanks, Arthur.
*SQUEEZE*
That’s really sweet of you.
I’ve written pages on it privately, AE. It doesn’t hurt to hear it from others.
*smooch from the bottom of my heart*
*SNORK!*
You just smooched Arthur!
Good thing I’m not the jealous type.
What? I did?
*yanks Arthur’s chain to turn the light back on*
Whoops! Sorry about that, too!
Ouch.
*snorkroffle*
*smooches and squeezes you both*
Oooo! A SQUEEZEfest!!!
*grab popcorn and hops on couch*
For everyone to WHERE?
That’s funny. Thanks mr. cuddles, I mean thank you God.
I’d like to thank mr. cuddles, Arthur Eld, God, and the entire Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Squad!
Cheerleader Squad?! And you didn’t invite me over?!
We were running outta room – it was VERY tight in there.
“was”, yeah maybe when they were all 16!!
*resident cheerleader appears out of no where, does a few back flips, a front handspring, and some other killer moves* GOOOOOOOOO Arthur Eld!!!
McFail!
WEEEEEEEEEEEE McFail!!!
Just call me mr. cuddles
I like how when she apologizes, she makes it seem like anyone who found that offensive is a complete retard.well, those who go out of their way to be offended are…
PTC anyone?
I would say that’s accurate. So many people offended by a fu.ck or a boob on TV, yet those same people are not offended by hate violence, war violence or torture interrogation tactics. Now THAT’S offensive.
There you go, expecting people to be logical!
That’s usually the first mistake.
And occasionally the last.
Oftentimes the median.
Well, maybe half the time.
At one point she said "WTF are you doing?"*squeeze* Congrats Arthur!
*squeeze*
Thank you!
YAY ARTHUR!!!
It’s your party today, sweets! *squeeze*
I don’t care how much this party is going to cost us…
*writes check*
Congrats Arthur!
*takes check, looks at it*
I’m sorry, this only covers the deposit.
I just got the word – FailBlog is going to chip in for the cost of this one.
YESSSS!!!
*grabs 2 beers and a handful of shrimp*
*grabs 2 hands and a beer full of shrimp*
*regrets starting to drink this surly*
Woohooo!!
*buys a case of champagne, some truffles, and the finest swiss chocolate*
*peeks enviously at Dragon’s booty*
*realizes Dragon might misintrepret “booty”*
Don’t worry, I’m sharing!!
Um…okay, that may have come out wrong…
*peers left and right for Admiral*
What am I getting myself into here?
Hee! I have some delicacies for you, sweet stuff.
Something dripping with honey, I hope.
Oh, hive figured out just what you like.
*communicates the destination with a slow dance*
*thinks the Admiral wants to nec(tar)*
You two needed bee(have).
*places hex-a-gone on friend aikiwaza before his fur gets singed*
*festoons bed with violets*
Heh. Good thing you got here before I did.
Oooh…violets. And both the creamy ones with the purple hearts, and the all purples ones. Lovely.
*falls into bed and rolls in the violets*
*looks upon your face lit by candlelight*
*sets a seal on your wax-red lips*
Are you Kuzco?
If that’s a good thing, yes. Otherwise no.
wow. You never saw The Emperor’s New Groove?
I’m pretty sure that’s not on German TV, but crazier things have happened.
I stand corrected, there was a German release of the movie (that would be funny to see). So, I join wolf in saying wow, you never saw the Emperor’s New Groove?
Squeak squeaker squeakity squeak squeak.
You owe me a new acorn.
NO TOUCHY!!
(Except for the Admiral…he can touchy. *grin*)
*Squeak, squeakin’, squeak, squeakity*
*licks*
…
Ooh! Wait here. I’ll go change into the Emperor’s New Clothes.
Nope. Sorry. Did I miss much?
Not unless you are nine years old, or are the parent of a nine year old.
*pops into thread*
*touches Arthur’s Fail*
*pops back out*
Actually that felt pretty good.
*tickles Arthur’s fail*
How’s that? You likie?
♪ Stop! Arthur time
I powered this one, there’s no doubt
Reporter yells “What The F***”, just shouts it out
Don’t like it, she’ll apologize,
She thinks we’re retards, it’s in her eyes
Don’t touch this!
Yea This is Arthur’s Fail!
Can’t touch this!
*slow golf clap*
Not bad, but it would have been better with a pair of parachute pants.
Sorry, the only pair of pants that I have remotely like parachute pants are strictly for spelunking.
To all of you fine people above: Thank you! Seems I’m once again missing most of my own party… Well, someone has to provide beer and clean up afterwards.
You’re lighting up the room now.
*puts lampshade on AE*
*desperately tries to look cool with a lampshade on his head*
.
.
.
*fails*
But you look distinguished!
Oh, wait…
*turns off light*
Make that EXtinguished.
I have work to do, and am trying everything I can to avoid it. Unfortunately that means that Failbloggers will be exposed to my deranged mind.
Oooh! Aiki is exposing himself! I want a front row ticket to that!!
*gives velvet his unwanted ticket*
*swaps ‘obstructed view’ ticket for Ninja’s ticket*
.
Thanks!
Yeah, uhh...no problem.*plops down next to Velvet, ticket in hand*
Aw Yeah! Aw Yeah! Go aiki, go aiki!
*reaches into backpack, pulls out hand full of $1 bills*
*pops in*
Hi guys, what’s up?
Woah… what’s Aiki, what’s… um… I just remembered I have a dentist appointment! Gottagobye!
*pops out*
*turns on fog machine, thereby obscuring (most of) aiki*
*turns on fan to blow away fog*
.
Judy & I are SO loving this show!
*brings along more $1’s*
Woot Woot!
Wait! Turn off the fog!!!
I’m saving my cash for the private lap dances later!
*pulls up a seat right in front* Can we get a higher powered fan? There’s still too much fog to see anything good! *gets $1 bills ready*
My true abilities come out after a drink or two.
Ladies, I would always expose myself to you. Tonight is a special though, it’s request night.
*ahem* “You mean Ladies & mr. cuddles” don’t you?
I am corrected. Yes ladies and Mr.Cuddles.
For my mistake, Mr.Cuddles’ drinks are on the house.
WooHoo! *offers aikiwaza a few of his free drinks to ‘bring out his true abilities’*
*drinks*
*starts whipping out insanely awesome and slightly provocative dance moves*
Only slightly huh?
*offers more drinks*
Request night, eh?
*wiggles a $20 bill*
I’ll have a belly shot of your best tequila, please! “On the tiger”, as it were!
You got it!
*pulls of impossible very provocative dance moves ending with shots ‘on the tiger’*
Remember folks: All proceeds are donated to the “Powered By Party Fund” and “The Fund for the Recovery of Those Scarred By Aiki”
Awww…did I miss the show??
I’m afraid so, Dragon. But there will be video at 11:00.
*watches*
…What the f*ck are you doing??
Sorry… I had a few drinks. Usually I regret the night, but if the rest had a good show then I’m happy.
I didn’t. I tried to get in and was thrown out by the bouncers! Lousy age restrictions…
*grumbles*
I’ve hear nothing but good tails.
Everything is a bit fuzzy to me. Sorry GBF. If i had known we might have been able to get you into the obscured section.
Another one for Arthur! Now he can have his party AND be here for it.
Only for a short while, but I’m happy!
*passes party hats*
oh thank you
*puts party hat on*
i’ll bring some beer
I’ve got the snacks!
You have mini hotdogs? Ketchup and mustard on mine please and can you toss me one of those beers?
xx
*swipes and eats a mini-dog (with mustard), swallows a shot o’ 1800, follows it with a Negra Modello ice cold brew….*
Ahhhhhhh, life is good
*throws a potato at WN*
That was for Daisy!
*makes another mini-dog and beer meal for Daisy*
Er, that was not mustard…
*waits for inevitable Yakov Smirnoff joke*
*waits*
*waits*
Ah….er…no
*silence*
*listens to the wind whistling through the trees*
*falls asleep*
Those pesky trolls are never there when you need them! Fine!
“In Failblog, you can always find a party! In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!”
Can I have a party hat? I have another party to attend later today.
*puts lampshade on Cloral’s head*
Can’t get more party than that!
At least it looks more classy than those stupid LED shirts.
Hey – is that Arthur’s lamp shade?!?
*stumbles into thread*
No, still wear mine.
*tries to exit thread, runs into wall*
# Blinded by the light
revved up like a deuce
another runner in the night
# And if you feel that you cant go on
In the light you will find the road #
Woo, haven’t got that one yet.
*adds to to-buy list*
Woops! Sorry!
*turns light back on*
That should help.
Oops.boats n ho’s
Oh, boy! That took some guts to apologize like that. On the other hand, throwing yourself on the mercy of the FCC may well reduce the fine. Good for her for owning up.
I wonder why she said it – was it the clip, or something on set?
Regardless, it sheds some light on her true character. Glad I don’t have to work with her.
I don’t think it took guts. I think it took the station manager telling her, “You’re going to read this apology or you’re fired.”
I’d have to agree. The look on her face is rather priceless.
“Yeah yeah, I messed up again, and now I’m forced to read this drivel.”
Bingo!
She and her co-anchor were taping promos for the 11pm news – at least, she thought they were taping (most of them are taped but once in a while they aren’t ready in time to run tape in the promo slot). This one was live and her co-anchor was supposed to be doing/saying something and wasn’t, and it was to him her expletive was directed.
I wonder where she works now?
WalMart greeter. “Welcome to WalMart, how the f**k are you doing today?”
Or she writes Hallmark cards. “Have a Happy f**cking Birthday” “Merry f**cking Christmas and a Ho Ho f**cking Ho to you to*
*laughs*
Merry f***ing Christmas indeed!
“Happy Valentine’s day, motherf*cker!”
"Happy f*cking New Year!"*hopes the mother’s day cards are safe*
*gives Judy a ‘Happy Motherf*cker’s Day card*
Phew!
Glad I’m not one!
*skips back to watch more of aiki’s dance moves*
Have a happy f#%#ing kwanzaa WIN
Money’s tight and times are hard,
So here’s your f*cking christmas card.
*passes out hand made xmas cards with ‘Merry F*ucking Xmas’ written inside.*
I would so buy those cards.
i hate the fake way ppl always apoligize(spelling?) in situations like that.
Yes. Spelling.Apologize, then get firefox
Onces BOGGY tried uses Firefox!It wiggled and bighted and was reelly hard to lite up on Fire!
And it neber nu hows to speels betters an BOGGY do ennyways!
Either spelling or remedial english.
Both does the trick.
…both DO the trick…
…both WILL do the trick.
A trick MIGHT do them both.
Is that another Soviet Russia joke?
Why do you keep using code tags?
Because I can. Actually I'm not really sure.Blog Ninja, you are my hero.
Well, if somebody doesn’t use them they go bad.
Even if you keep them in a Debbie Meyer Green Bag™?
Sometimes they keep if you get Glad.BOGGY usesed them to!I wish they would come out and tell us what the F they were doing. That is bugging me much more than her language. Cant we just say we had a nun slap her knuckles with a ruler and move on?
Yes!!! I want to know what the F they were doing too! Was that Creepy dude feeling her up under the table? Was someone pissing in her purse? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TELL US WHY SHE SAID IT!!!
the ad right above this text field is telling me to stop paying for electricity.
electricity is all a conspiracy anyway
I stopped paying my electric bill months ago, and nothing has hap
That’s nothing!
I stopped paying my water bill months ago, and nothing has happened!
Except nobody like being around me, I dont get it!
Paying stuff on time is the surest way to get it shut off on you.
Paying stuff is overrated.
Is that the ad for those extra long jump cables, ‘cos I need some.
fail boat
Yes. She was annoyed it wasn’t sinking.
fail excuse!
Too funny! I’ve always had a semi-soft spot for Sue Simmons – even less so now I know she DOES have a potty mouth, like the rest of us.
And a short temper apparently.
Haven’t you heard of -
“With a bad temper, comes a really bad fake apology”?
Did she really say the f-word?
Nope, just your mind playing tricks on you. She's not actually apologizing for anything.These aren’t the droids your looking for.
Move along.
Pay no attention to the news anchor behind the curtain…
Greenscreen, not curtain.
Nope. The swear was photoshopped in.
So what was the person doing that she said the F word in the first place? Was her co-anchor unzipping his pants or something?
He stole her cheerios.
And glued them onto his private parts.
So what? I do that all the time.
Make sure you invite me next time
Guess we’ll need the family-size box!
TMI, anyone?
We’re all right there with ya, General.
Honestly…some people have waaaaay too much free time. :p
And too many Cheerios.
What, I thought everybody was a cereal fetishist?
(Not cereal rapist since it is consensual)
Yes, this has given me bad mental images. Ill never look at cheerios the same way again.
rach, it’s something you have to actually experience to understand.
What about Froot Loops?
I was just curious who was going to admit that they would fit in the little hole in the middle…
Wanting her fired, and knowing that she was a moron, he held up a cue card that said, “WTF are you doing?”
She, of course, mindlessly read the question out loud, and now he has her old parking space.
That sounds like something Ron Burgandy would do.
He’s stuck in a glass case of emotion.
You americans are crazy. In almost all other contries these kind of words (in the respective language) are said all the time. If this happens on a serious tv show (like the daily News) the guy who told it apologises by himself, but that’s it. Nobody cries because of a “f-word”.
You seriously should lighten up some more.
You obviously haven’t been to the UK or Japan. In Japan, heads would metaphorically roll, while in the UK, the offending channel, whether it be the BBC, ITV or C4, would be fined quite a bit by Ofcom.
No.
If our American children hear words like that…well they might go insane and turn into serial rapists.
Or worse….CEREAL RAPISTS!!!!!
God help as all.
So THAT’S he stole her Cheerios.
Bukkit
“Us” not “as”
Are you sure? The BBC are so strict, they fire people for swearing OFF camera.
I cannot tolerate foreigners coming on to one of our websites and impugning our standards of broadcast decorum. Kindly return to your third-world hovel and watch the second season of Baywatch, or collect a bucket of drinking water for your family 10 feet downstream from a urinating donkey, or whatever it is you do to pass the time in Catbarfistan. If you dare to make such an insolent comment again your name and address will be added to the Pottery Barn Kids mailing list, and a death squad will be dispatched to track you down. Good day and go f@#k yourself!
Well look at the reporter next to her in the first clip, what WAS he doing. I think he was texting and she was rip shit haha.
I think it’s funny when I watch say Sopranos for example. They take out the cuss words but it’s fine to show some gangsters shooting the hell out of some pedestrian.
Ahhh Logic.
Censors are the craziest people. Ever hear them bleep out the “God” but leave in the “damn”?
Now, which is the more “offensive” word?
To quote George Carlin, “There are no ‘bad words.’ There are bad thoughts, bad intentions…and WORDS!”
And you can’t show a couple making love, but you can show them cutting each other into little pieces, or spraying each other with assualt-weapon fire. Great logic!
I find the latter much more tolerable to watch on TV.
I find ladder watching on TV to be fascinating as well. I both concur and agree.
Gooooing up!
Considering historical evidence, I submit that God is overwhelmingly more offensive and damaging to a youngster’s mind than Damn ever will be. Carlin’s later skits on the subject serve wonderfully to illustrate these points as well as any non-partisan historical primary source would.
I’m sure God is impressed with your opinion
It was Sue Simmons (guessing no one here lives in the NY area). That’s only the latest of the wonderful fail she’s done over the years. She’s regularly sloshed on the 11 PM news, and once fell off her chair at the end of the 6 PM show. Sloshed then too.
She’s really a good person, I used to work at NBC and she was just one of the nicest people (no really, not like fake nice where you just act nice for people that actually matter – I was a desktop tech and she was always polite).
Here’s what happened – someone was adjusting a wire while she was doing the live feed and didn’t bother telling her, and it yanked her mike out of nowhere, so she was like holy shit, what’s going on?
And yes, for the curious, she is still gainfully employed by the station, as she has been for the past…. thirty? years or so. Might be forty. I don’t recall exactly. She’s got a wiki page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sue_Simmons
Thanks for the inside scoop.
If I ever came in to work sloshed, I would quickly be joining the ranks of the unemployed. How can she get away with that??
Because she’s extremely popular. People LOVE Sue. Taking her off the air would cause a riot, or a tear in the fabric of space-time, or both, or maybe just a few pissed-off, sweaty bloggers would mash their keyboards with their sausage fingers for an hour or so over it, or maybe the apocalypse would start. I dunno.
I’ve always been a fan of hers. She bloopered after watershed, so I’m sure she didn’t get in TOO much trouble. Good to know she’s genuinely nice, sorry to hear she has a drinking problem.
Thank you!
She’s still working for the TV station. Here’s a video of her Groundhog impression:
http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Sue_Simmons_Does_Her_Groundhog_Imitation_New_York.html
OLD! I saw this on TV when it actually happened like 6 months ago BECAUSE I AM AWESOME. I didn’t like record it and put it on the interwebs or anything BECAUSE I AM AWESOME. I did take the time to comment on this post though BECAUSE I AM AWESOME?
*slits Mr Awesome’s throat*
The entire world thanks you, Blog ninja.
*bows and salutes*
*bows*
*sneaks up behind Blog Ninja*
Hee! Arthur taught me this one!
*introduces Blog Ninja to ET finger…*
Judy got the best of Blog Ninja! Don’t worry Ninja, even I am but a student to the stealth that Judy has.
Yikes! I've been fingered!When you’re older that’ll become a regular experience.
*Can’t wait to get older [/sarcasm]
*tosses an extra ‘*’ up*
*gurgles*
Know your place, troll.Mr Awesome makes me curious about something.
If Mr. Awesome marries a woman, they are Mr. and Mrs. Awesome. but at last it
wouldn’t go that way. So what do we refer to them as?
Mr & Mr Awesome?
How about dead?touche’
austin? Can I borrow some of your powers?
0.o
*hands Judy a bottle of bleach
*hands Judy a bottle of white out
No no no, the white out is for your computer after doing your hair.
Since you asked the question, I regret to inform you, NO. You are not awesome.
He was to me, guys. He was to me. *sniff*
*marches troops to Mr AWESOME Jr*
*halts and soldiers aim rifles*
On my word, men…FIRE!!!
You are all jerkfaces. Mr AWESOME Jr had his whole life ahead of him.
All trolls must be eliminated immediately. They are a smear on Failblog.
Don't you mean to say, "I was to me, guys"?Where’s Boggy? I bought him a stuffed hamster toy.
Best posting gimmick of the year!
You are SOOOO awesome that you don’t remember it actually happened 1 year ago next Tuesday.
Over here in Argentina there are lots of fails like that…
I’d like to nominate this for the “A fail so great… it’s a win” category.
This is just a wild guess, but I'm thinking that Mike is the sort of person who complained when Fail Blog identified the 'wins' themselves.Nah. I think they do a good job, but are mildly stingy with it.
Dot org?
No?
Okay then.
Is she related to Christian Bale?
I’d probably watch the news more often if it had this kind of language.
Invading Iraq deserves an apology, not a harmless word.
Well, things are different in your Thrirld World, I suspect.
This is why it’s a good idea never to swear at all. It comes out at the flippin’ wrong time.
Exactly, news casters will hence forth each be allowed to drop the f-bomb 2 times a year. It will help us know when the stories are really important to them or they are just full of bologna.
F*ck yes! No shit, you’re f*cking right!
Gvd ja.
Oh, scheiße.
あ、くそ。
それを一掃する良い。
なるほど。じゃあ、ふいてくる。
Blow up?
*Sulks quietly in the corner due to the fact he cannot read…
other languages that is*
Tourette’s Win
EPIC!!!
What city is this from?
This happened a year ago – May 2008. This is from WNBC New York. Sue Simmons has been around forever (she’s in her sixties). She’s still around, too – I watch her every night!
My ears! MY EARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :: melts ::
Hahaha that was very funny xD loool
Now I really really want to know wtf he was doing to make her say “WTF are you doing?”
Ahaha, This same thing happened two days ago at my school. They switched to another clip, and all you hear is DAMNIT!!!!!!
We could hear mrs. spleen {the main director, well, teacher of all things media related} screaming from down the hallway.
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
HONESTLY!?
Amazing that teachers get to cuss in the school hallways all they want but if a student does it… off with his pee-pee!
Wow! This was very funny! Thanks!
The best news anchor ever
*wanders aimlessly into a new place*
haha! LOlolOLoL!!
….”WTEFF are you doing?!”…
*wanders aimlessly out….*
=)
at :10 it seems likes she asking the boat what hes doing
WTF did you do on air?
Apology fail. That didn’t sound sincere at all.
HAY GUISE WATS GOIN ON IN THIS THREAD?
Mainly debates about Iraq. What’s your opinion? I think they should federate with Iran to form Irate.
There has been one thing that confused me on the failblog comments, what is the failblog record for most comments on one pic or video?
Losing My Religion by REM.
The FB record hasn’t happened yet – it will happen on May 17.
Kinda reminds me of another video I saw somewhere. There was a news reporter who calmly explained to the viewers that his fellow reporter had been murdered.
Not quite like this case, but another example of news anchor Fail.
Or Win, depending on how you look at it.
Fellow reporter murdered?
* Looking at it. *
Oh, definitely Win.
Dude this is so old.
Other news anchor = staying awake FAIL
LOL!
people commit mistake and I accept her apologies. 
It’s SILLY. What she said was not a “MISTAKE.” In other words, she didn’t MEAN to say it. It was an ACCIDENT. There is a difference.
omg that was so funny i almost pissed myself i knew that lady got mad at chuck scarbrough off the air man that was great…
I thought the “fail” was going to be what she said at the beginning: “At 11, paying more at the grocery store but getting less. We’ll tell you how to get the most.” Now I have to say, wtf?
You can literally hear her mouth pop open in shock after she drops the bomb.
Didn’t the SCOTUS just rule that the FCC could levy fines for explosive utterances?
What’s the fine for her or her station?
Is she suspended, fired, or promoted?
I wander what he was doing. haha
America SUCKS!
Long live iraqi resistence
Bush the devil is gone, bud.
WNBC-NY should have fired Sue Simmons a LONG time ago! She’s been there so many, many years, that she has an attitude of entitlement. She screws up on camera a lot! And, when corrected by the co-anchor, just shrugs her shoulders and purses her lips as if it’s no big deal. Problem is…. reporting the news IS a big deal and a professional would not act the way she does. We stopped watching years ago because of her. I am completely surprised that she apologized at all. At least a million dollar per year salary and this is what we get.
“waaat?”
We love our Sue Simmons here in NY. She’s been on the air for 30 years and even saying that won’t make her go anywhere. That’s an old clip too. She’s always flubbing her lines and stuff. It’s kinda why we watch.
Holy shit! I haven’t laughed that hard in ages.
Thanks to whoever posted this.
I bet she is in the job market!!
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/2008/05/13/2008-05-13_curses_anchor_sue_simmons_slips.html
The story behind the F bomb.
WTF ARE YOU READING?
Broadcaster’s Rule #1: Every microphone is live, always.
LOLOLOLOLOLDL OA IM FRSIT I WIN YOUR MOM SMELLS LIKE PENIS.
WTF that’s a rip. The gentle female side of the News
Thanks to those of you who added to this thread. Never have I had to waive through a thread of such volumes of utter nonsense to find the little nuggets that said who she was, where she worked, and why this occurred.
Thank-you for raising the tone of this thread. We are indebted to you. Your talent as a wordsmith is a beacon to us all.
your welcome
lol she must rlly HATE boats!
LOL! This is effin funny. Cursing is not so bad. It sounds badly coming out of the mouths of babes, I agree, but there’s far worse crap going on in this country that can be apologized for.
Such as: Iraq, Afganistan,lack of help in Darfur, ignoring Iran and Cuba, world wide hunger and poverty, racism, hedge funders, thieves, killers, and manipulative media which distorts nearly everthing. I can go on and on…you don’t want the full list, trust me.
Look ma people dead in the news!
Bawww, ma the televeision lady said the f-word!
the real fail is that she had to apologize…
anybody that doesn’t like America or American tv or American families can shove it up there asses. NO one is asking you to come here, and if you are here no one is making you stay.
that is funny as hell
HA HA! Win!
No, WTF R U DOIN???!!!!!
Fellow citizens of Failblogia, Ask not wat tha f*ck are you doing,
but ask “WHO THA F*CK IS DOING U!!!!!”
or you may ask, What the funk can do for you
whichever one is relevant *inserts baconlube advert*
the ^%$# are you doing
Cheesecake?
Only a failure would appologise for swearing, but it takes a bigger failure to be such a pansy as to be offended by a word in the first place.
I forgive her, she said it because the man next to her was asleep on the job.
I never thought that something from Anchorman would actually ever happen. This is a dream come true
Youre like Christian FAIL!!!!!!!!!!
That would have been awesome if she acted like it was deliberate.
What’s that sound? Oh, it’s hundreds of people pressing rewind on their
TiVo.
#145
Why is it such a big deal anyway? Kids will hear it soon enough anyway, and if you’re offended so easily there’s something wrong with you.
Umm… uh… wowness. I had to invent a new word to describe that.
at least she apologised…most new anchors wont even do that if they screw up
such mystery there. did someone ask her what SHE was doing first, and that was her retort? OR had she already reamed someone out and that was just the tale end,
like “and the boomguy is picking his ass over here, and over there we got al roker eating yet another danish from the commissary…. and meanwhile…wtf are YOU doing.” or were they goofin’. I like to think they were goofing around.
she was just upset that the failboat hadn’t docked yet. impatience is a bitch to control.
I don’t think the issue has to do with offense or legalities as much as the destruction of the anchor facade. Their credibility relies on a particular pretense.
Sounded like that one episode of the simpsons when kent brockman said dat
wow…
I’d like to be the service man to be the first to realize she’s still on the air… oh what a feeling that would be.
LOL this PAGE fails