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» 324 Failures in Communication
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Cheezburger Network Blog
*clears throat and walks away*
*zips fly and walks away*
indeed!
I was peeing on that tree behind the sign.
Ewwww, you are gross
For peeing on a tree? It was a long walk home from the pub.
Wasn’t that Bob’s tree?
I hope not. I was startled by the sound of someone clearing their throat.
*whispers*
(Excuse me – cardboard? That was your cue.)
*winks at Judy*
Darn rootin’ tootin’ you were.
Sorry for peeing on yer tree. By the way it’s a fine tree you got there.
Bit damp though. And it smells weird.
My bad.
*munches on tree*
Tastes good though.
why thank you son, and like all the best trees, she’s called Bessie.
*doesn’t wink at Bessie*
*causes confusion by describing the action of specifically NOT winking at something/one*
*clears throat again*
*doesn’t walk away*
Awkward.
Yeah. So..um….I’m gonna go over there….
*wlaks away confused and affraid to look back at Cardboard/Bob*
*switches a and l*
*steals an f*
Thanks for getting the f out of there.
*arrives*
*notices North Idaho signage and strangely wet tree*
Happy Friday!!
HAPPY FRIDAY *SQUEEZE*
*Sees the congregating group*
*Walks over to them*
Hey ya folks. Happy Friday and what’s new?
*GROUP SQUEEZE*
It’s Beltane, and we are dancing naked in the meadows!!
*joins in group squeeze*
Happy Friday to everyone, everywhere!
*scootches away from ChiaPet*
*group squeeze* T.G.I.F! 5 hours and counting! How is everyone doing today?
Hey, Cuddles! Nice ta see you! I wondered if you’d be stopping by before your big trip.
Oops! Forgot…
squeeze!
*squeeze* Of course I’ll be around before my trip. I still have 3 weeks to go.
Remember to try the free nachos, Cuddles!
*squeeze*
I hear they’re an authentic Irish experience.
Stupidity wont nest below this level
*attempts to nest*
*attempts to nest*
And serendipity?
Duplicity as well.
Hey ChiaPet — Happy Beltaine!
*winks*
*squeeze*
Haven’t caught you for a while.
(59.8wpm)
Definitely an original …Great!
I’ve lived a number of years in Kentucky, where everything is some kind of “lick.” Blue Lick, Big Bone Lick State Park, French Lick, etc. I saw that sign, and realized what it would have been if the street were in Kentucky. ~sigh~
There is a Beaver Lick, I think it’s a town somewhere out there in the middle of the country, I remember my friend and I saw it on a map when we were planning a road trip several years ago. We probably laughed for a solid hour.
Perverted street signs…
I blame society.
I can’t decide who to blame; Obama? The Jews? Muslims? Hmm. I’ll blame myself. It’s all Arthur’s fault!
It’s swine, blame the swine.
You leave the swine out of this! It’s clearly named by a frustrated biology teacher who wants the kids to learn about reproduction but is bound by legislation preventing them from doing so in their classroom.
Umm, according to the feral government, we are to no longer refer to Swine Flu as “swine flu” – it’s to be called “H1N1″ or some such. Much like the terrorists are now called “foreign something or others” and “enemy combatants” are something similar, I forget what.
Android flu!
Nope, it’s the owners of the pig industry that decided that!
*offers d*
Blame the BaconLube™ lobby.
Exactly.
But… it was requested by the pig industry, adapted by WHO, and is being pushed by the feral government.
They’re “rooting around for a new name,” according to the Associated Press.
I think it’s all hogwash.
*offers another d*
Nah, I think “feral” is pretty much on target.
Slightly off topic: Have you ever considered to move to Somalia or a similar place? There’s no goverment bothering you…
Always wanted to buy an old aircraft carrier and build a town in international waters if that counts…
They are making one on an old oil rig somewhere in international waters. It’s supposed to have a hotel and casino.
Have you ever heard of Jesús Gil y Gil? Former president of Atletico Madrid. He bought an old aircraft carrier. His reason? “I didn’t own one before.”
Arthur, just because I (still) think the USA’s the best thing going, that doesn’t mean I can’t wish it was better – especially since it’s deviated so off course from its original intent.
But yeah, I’d go for an aircraft carrier
You are likely referring to “Sealand”. It’s an independent nation in international waters. It’s built on an old British navy base abandoned after WWII. And it’s for sale. We could buy it and found the nation of FAILand.
Clicky my name for more details.
At least our feral government didn’t slaughter all pigs to prevent the spread of swine flu…
It doesn’t matter why, they all get slaughtered.
I can just see the Kroger sale ad now…
You mean their viral marketing campaign?
We’re spreading the news about our low pork prices. You won’t be able to resist picking some up.
N1H1 Sale: Buy any one pork product, take half off the next one.
Sure. Just devastate the Bacon Lube industry.
Don’t be so eager to dam yourself.
Levy some support, Arthur!
Lay down all the blame you dike Arthur, but I think you can a-fort to be more positive about things.
Arthur’s a lesbian?!
Well, I do like girls. So yes, I guess.
I thought only women could be lesbians…does this mean I’m a lesbian?
Trapped in a man’s body, I’m told!
He lets things gnaw at him far too long.
That’s right. That’s our job!
Blame Canda
Blame my lack of coffee…. may I buy a vowel please
how about Blame Canada … there I can spell
It’s ironic you left off the a, eh?
We should still blame the until-recently missing “a”. What was it up to while it was gone? Hmmm?
I’m missing an “e” from my comment down there VVV at 7:11. I wonder if “a” knows anything about it?
*skitters away with armful of vowels*
May I have an “A” and an “E”?
*offers an f*
*looks enquiringly at ???????*
*realises disintrest*
*gives A&E ward*
Ok. But don’t ask for too many “y”s though. You won’t get them all the time. Just sometimes.
*looks questioningly at Sparky*
*offers a y*
I’ve found them! Here they are:
Crp thy r runing wy!
Ctch’m somon!
aeaeaaaeee
AE
Seems we’ve been disemvoweled.
*snerk*
May I ask y?
*shakes head and finger*
*steals I*
*uses I to pole vault over river*
*does double take* *again*
What WAS THAT?!!? For a moment it appeared to do a gaynor right over the river there … *ponders* Hmmmm, perhaps it was an (in)vader?
*gasp*
*quickly hides behind funny-smelling tree*
Blame Canada, Blame Canada! With their beady little eyes and flapping heads... I forget the rest.You can’t be so hard on yourself. I was wrong to blame everything on you. A lot of it is WN’s fault too.
I hereby officially accept my specifically precise portion of the blame
7
I made it known yesterday that I always blame Arthur.
Yes, it must be Arthur’s fault. Violence in Congo? Arthur’s fault. Plantar’s warts? Arthur’s fault. The leg-warmer fad in the 80’s? Arthur’s fault.
Crocs and Snuggies? Ar -
…
No, I don’t think Arthur’s evil enough for that.
*DRAMATIC ENTRY*
*jumps 53 hoops that were lit on fire*
*does 10 back flips and ends it with 10 front flips*
*Crashes*
that could’ve gone better
better luck next time
Can you do better, mousemat? Didn’t think so!
(Hee! I can’t, either!)
nope, but I can do this
*AMAZES Judy*
Wow! I’m impressed!!!
Umm someone please call 911!
I think I broke my back…
*dials 333-1-1*
Yup, It’s broken. He’s got a huge crack in it now. Tell them to hurry, Admiral!
*puts on a lab coat* Let me take a look, I’m a doctor, or at least I played one on TV. *thinks to himself for a minute* Wait, that wasn’t me either. *pops wolfgangmunzerl2’s spine back into alignment* How’s that feel?
em… that wasn’t wolfgangmunzerl2’s spine.
*picks up golf cart driveshaft and wonders how it can be fixed*
*sobs*
Wolf, where the hell you been?!?
Iv’e been crawling to the nearest hospital for 5 freakin’ hours.
*crawls*
Why bother, they won’t have a trolley when you get there, didn’t you read the news?!
*wonders if wolfie ever made it to the hospital*
I’ll go head to head with you, dear wgmz2.
*fliptwistrollierolliebounceflip”
*spins on head*
*hits head on other random head*
*obviously headed for trouble*
ow
A double-header?
*passes some ice from the thread down there v*
You think that restaurant is on this road, too?
Dick’s Halfway Inn?
*laughs and gives Judy +1*
*bows*
*steps behind Judy*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Just kidding!
I saw that, Arthur!
Sorry.
*offers cookie*
Mmm! Thanks!
Just gettin’ some more ice for Dragon…
*pushes all the way in and does it hard*
She still feverish?
*not touching that other comment with a ten-foot pole!*
*touches other comment with a ten-foot pole*
*pushes all the way in and does it hard*
*ice comes out*
Hmmm. A previous Fail ref, me suspects.
Is that ice or frozen water? I hear they work pretty much the same.
HA! *SQUEEZE*
*squeeze*
Mr. cuddles is coming to Ireland?
it’s coming with an “O” not a “U”.
Play your cards right and it will be with an ‘O’ and a ‘U’ hahah!
O U, WAT R U LIKE?
*squeeze*
*trying not to seem impertinent*
In northern Montana, it is “Skinny Dick’s Halfway Inn.”
(word to the wise: don’t order the hotdog…)
…while walking down the hallway.
I thought the restaurant was at the end of the universe. (?)
yeah, I guess some people might think that’s Montana.
(I’z been there (the restraunt that is). There’s one on this planet, but it feels a bit like you’re at the end of the universe, with the view and all.)
Being a Montanan currently… I have to agree.
Free c*nt breakfast?
*glares sternly at Aja*
I know you wre referring to continental, right?
Hm, I posted a clickie to the Breakfast Fail but it got eaten…
“got eaten”
*rolls on floor laughing”
Good one, Aja! You are forgiven.
Er, thanks I guess.
Don’t you get it? “Breakfast Fail” “got eaten” ???
Oh, never mind.
I wouldn’t eat a failed breakfast. Probably contains children. And if the children aren’t gifted then they play havoc on my waistline!
Huh.
Wa?
Oh…
*snork*
You’re a little slow on the draw today, Aja. Here, have a cuppa.
Ah, thanks.
The sun’s coming into my room now, that should help too.
Dam you FB, stop eating my comments!
Oh, there it is, never mind.
Apparently, FB is friggen hungry! Perhaps some freecan(t) breakfast would help.
Sorry.
Anyone got anything else I can eat?*offers t*
Why, thank you. You're too kind.*offers a*
Here, this usually goes with t.
*takes a*
Anyone got a q? I haven't had one of those in a long time.*offers b*
*does a handstand*
*Gets a hotdog from Skinny Dick’s Halfway Inn*
*offers to Blog Ninja/monster*
You can have this.
Sweet!*shoots post-cryogenically-frozen hot dog out of ninja’s fat hands*
*laughs at ‘fat hands’ comment*
heh, ninjas with fat hands…
*raises eyebrows and sighs*
*speaks with a mouthful of blackberries* Wants some ninja? They are good.
*delurks*
Hi LEILA!
*lurks*
Watch out. Some of those elecronic components are sharp.
Sorry, I can’t spell today. *tosses t ^ to self.*
*INTERCEPTION!*
*drinks ‘t’*
Hey! this isn’t tea!
There were no uninhabited trees around.
Probablt hosted and owned by Mike Litoris.
Yep, that’s probablt what happened.
Mike Litoris in Beaver Dick Lane….
And probablt sponsered by the King-size Dick Clan.*takes t, rummages in pack*
*replaces with 2 ‘e’s*
*wanders away hoping no one’ll notice*
I probablee will.*worries*
*plots*
*sits*
*scooches out of the way before Malicite sits on his lap* *realizes what he just did and moves back to his original spot* *SQUEEZE*
Yes, typos are made fun of alot.
*Squeezes Mr. Cuddles*
How are you today on this fantastic (rainy and damp) Friday?
I’m doing alright, looking forward to the weekend. How are you doing today?
Meh, I didn’t getting my billing numbers in last month (they expect me to make up my vacation time which I won’t do), so I have been a bit anxious about my boss coming in to scold me (or worse). All in all, I wish the sun would come back! I know I complained about the heat from earlier this week and all… but I miss the sun…
Karaoke tonight!
I refuse to go anywhere near a karaoke machine so my hat is off to you sir! Have a good time tonight
I hope you have a fantastic weekend yourself, sir!
3 hours and 24 minutes…
*looks at clock again*
3 hours and 23 minutes and 36 seconds…
*sigh*
Well, I don’t care if it’s raining. I’m ready for the weekend! What a crazy week. Work keeps interrupting my FB’ing.
Anyone else notice ninja’s codeless words?
I don’t get it
The beaver in Norwegian mythology is symbolic of the death and resurrection of Jesus. The dick beetle, an tropical insect that is recognized by its bright colors, is said to be the namesake of the Beatles. Therefore, this sign is yet more proof that Paul is dead.
Um, I totally went to college where that sign is posted. There is a park there called “Beaver Dick Park”, and there is another place where people would go for bonfires in between rocks (large rocks, like you’d have to four wheel to get to the place for the bonfires. That place was called “the Crack.” And in between these two appropriately named places, was the place everyone went shooting….:P
Sounds like a good place to live, if you’re not a lesbian. Sorry Arthur, looks like we’ll need to find another place to build our house!
Totally.
Bonfire next to shooting…sounds interesting…
Wasn’t “Bonfire” a crappy 80s soft rock band?
I believe so, but what they made…*does not know sadly*
Found something.
*shudders*
80s music? Shudder? What world do we live in!? *puts the 80s back on the pedestal where it belongs and gives Arthur a cross look*
*returns longline look*
*scampers away*
15 – 0
EWWWWWWWWWW Arthur – my eyes my eyes!!!!!!!
Wasn’t the glare-a-thon rescheduled for next Tuesday?
Oops. I thought this is a stare-nnis match.
That’s right, star-nnis on Friday and glare-nnis on Tuesday.
May 13th, and you better show up.
Can someone help me nest below this level please?
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*erases Stupidity and types in Starfish* There you go. All better now.
*nests below*
*brings twigs*
*nests below Malicite’s below* Oh my!!
*and closes eyes*
Hey my twigs!
*brings gaynorvader fresh twigs*
Yay! Thank you Moomin!
*special squeeze*
Good ol’ Rexburg…
you poor soul at BYU-Idaho and surrounded by rednecks building bonfires and shooting. Good thing Idaho doesn’t allow drinking because things could really have gotten out of hand
Do you even know what a redneck *is*?
What’s wrong with beaver dicks?
How is this a fail?
The Closet?
Must be a closet case.
Closet closed, charged were dropped.
So deep in, he’s in Narnia
I fail to understand you, Wolfgangmunzerl2.
Please do so and put an end to my misery.
Pick up a copy of “The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe” for some clarification. Or just watch the movie.
With the Jonas Brothers!!!
*snork*
Woohoo!! My 10:00 class was canceled! I'm done for the day! What a great Friday!Lucky ninja!
*hurls a rock at the ninja and shakes his fist*
*joins Malicite with the rock throwing and fist shaking*
I just got to work!
Wouldn’t it be nice if they cancelled work for a day?
*cries and nods*
It’s dreary and I want a nap. *cries some more*
*joins in the crying*
I don’t get sleep at night, cranky baby, and then I have to go to work too!
I just stayed up late watching the new Office… *sniff* Poor Kevin…
There might or might not, but there definitely is a mutiny going on in the warehouse right now.
*laughs*
Phyllis seems to have all the good zingers lately. I love it!
Tell me about it Ms B. Baby Starfish is cutting 3 mollers right now.
*does a happy dance*
*blocks rock and saves ninja*
It’s a glorious day, and I’m off work also.
*plants tiny grass seeds on rock* *waits*
Hey! This is in Rexburd, ID. There is also a park named Beaver Dick Park in that town.
A fan?
*looks off into distance*
What were they thinking?
*facepalm*
A sexually suggestive park! *wink wink*
hehehe… I thought by the snow maybe it was North Iderho – but, alas, it’s waaaaay down south… where beaver dicks belong…
*snork*
*scratches head*
*Offers T-Gel*
*nudge nudge*
Do you think the guy naming the streets and parks in Rexburg is a professional biologist trying to teach kids zoophilia using their subconcious? I mean, think about it – beaver dick, beaver dick, beaver dick, doesn’t that make you horny or anything?
Clearly, the biologist has already claimed ONE victim…
I meant Rexburg.
haha..Beaver Dick was a trapper or something in the southeast Idaho region. That said, I am surprised the panties-in-a-bunch town of Rexburg hasn’t changed the name.
I agree. I’m surprised such a conservative town has kept such a controversial name.
It’s not as controversial as Broke Dick Fountain. Oh wait, that was a spoof of Broke Back Mountain.
I am more curious about how they can equate beaver to…um…you know, the girl HooHaa.
eats wood
*Scampers in*
Dam!
*scampers out*
Oh no! Come back!
was gonna squeeze you way up there but it was crowded *SQUEEZE*
*MIGHTY SQUEEZE*
(But gentle at the same time!)
Get back in here!!!
Well said old girl!
That’s what she said.
Oh no! Did SrrslySrry leave?
*peers in from behind sign*
*pounce*
EEEE!
*clings to ankle*
Yay! You came back!
Yeah….I heard these voices in my head and…well…
*Looks at new anklet*
Work sometimes interferes with my FB.
*Does the Festive Friday Jig of Anticipation.*
*gets a few bumps and scrapes but doesn’t mind*
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Isn’t it good Norwegian wood?
I’m curious, what does it mean where you come from?
wood is another word for…member and to eat it is to….I’ll tell you when you’re older!
(Irish people like swearing so much, they had to invent new curse words!)
I love Irish cursing. My grandmother was really good at it, It was funny to see my sweet old gramma cursing worse than a sailor, the accent would get really strong too. Hilarious!
My dad taught me so many good words…*sighs contently*
My grandma must have been from a different part of Ireland. Your grandma sounds fun. Mine couldn’t even say the word penis.
How old do you have to be to be told?
Well I haven’t told God yet so…
WHOA!! *steps away from gaynorvader for fear of getting hit by lightining by the big guy*
*is hit by lightning*
*feels oddly invigorated*
Thanks Big Guy!
*winks at cloud*
…I’ll tell you what I told him;
“When a man and a woman love each other very much, or are intoxicated enough, they sometime try to reproduce. However, with the advent of HIV and AIDS, cautious women caught without a chicken-balloon sometimes like to substitute the…poesje with their mouth.”
No way! They do that??? Mrs. Starfish has some explaining to do. All this time and she could have used her mouth too. I know a few days every month that this can come in handy.
*cancels order for 50 gallon drum of Baconlube*
Thank you for cancelling your order. All the little pigs and their human protectors love and appreciate you.
-
No comment on the rest. Heeeeeee!!!!!!!
*flees screaming*
*runs after LEILA with special PPRFG (Pig-Product Repelling Field Generator)*
Come baaaaack!
If you have to ask, Leila…
*gives cookie*
COOKIES!!!!!
Yay
Thank you.
I was wondering that myself. I’m no spring chicken, I mean starfish.
HAHAHAHAHA! HIGHLAND WAY! I GET IT! HAHAHAHA! …wait…
AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Yeah, AHAHAHAH!!! *doesn’t really get it* AAAHAHAHAHAH
It’s funny because it’s true!
The lane is made of beaver dick?
A veritable hilarity.
YAY Chaz
Haha! Here you are!
*SQUEEZE*
*Squeezity squeezy squeeze!*
Oh my… your head popped off. Wait here, I’ll get the duct tape.
*Teleports*
*watches insides of Moomin while Du fetches duct tape* Oh…MY!!!
*Pokes insides with a stick*
*looks on as people poke the Moomin*
hehe… lets fill him with potatoes but face his head the other way so he’s not looking at himself.
WIN!
*fixes Moomin with duct tape*
*listens to see if the Moomin rattles when he walks*
*whispers in Jam’s ear*
(You forgot to put anything into him, you just declared your prank to the wotld, remember?!)
Damn! I have all these left over ‘t’s, they keep falling into my words!
*replaces ‘t’ with an ‘r’*
Thete, that’s tetter! To thtnt tttt t….
♪it’s been, it’s been, s s such a long year, long year♪
Did not! I’m sleight of hand. You just didn’t notice… I’m that good!
:crying:
There there!
*pat pat*
*Does another jig to make gaynor jingle*
All better?
Yayyy!
there’s just no way!
Next to ladyboy lane perhaps?
I can only assume that the street is right by Beaver Dick Park. It is an actual place, believe it or not.
I can’t believe noone has pointed out the big red dick in the tree.
If we’re going to get all Freudian, then ALL of the trees are dicks.
The pole, too.
And internet people.
lame
Maybe they show ’70s porn films in those houses back there… that’s one thing the sign evokes in my widdle pea brain. The lane would’ve had to have been named around then. If it were, say, a recent real estate development using today’s porn films the agents would probably have no idea what a beaver looks like, thanks to the razor, and all the ladies wanting to look twelve. Nope, Cameltoe Dick LN just doesn’t have the right ring to it.
♫Here comes Beaver Dick, here comes Beaver Dick
right down Beaver Dick Lane…♫
Beaverdick?
Isnt that what hermaphrodites have?
LOL
Anyway, I came to say…. it goes with our street
we live on Beaverhead Lane
I SWEAR!
looks like captain obvious got it wrong
That was a real guy!
http://nativeunity.blogspot.com/2007/09/beaver-dick-mountain-man.html
http://www.jacksonholechamber.com/jackson_hole/jacksons-history.php
There’s a road near Detroit named Big Beaver.
I’m shocked nobody else pointed that out.
That’s great!
Id hate to live on that lane,
Address: 69 Beaver Dick Lane
Living there must be almost as bad as living on People With Aids ave.
Is this by Beaver Dick park near Rexburg by any chance? I’ve been there
I have been there before. It is in wyoming
…hehe. I live about twenty miles from that…
It is a name out of Wyoming history, and the Teton region. Beaver Dick Leigh has a lake named after him, Leigh Lake in Teton National park and his wife has a lake named after her too. Jenny Lake not too far from Leigh Lake. Successful trappers had money and Dick Leigh had a first name for the big money crop of that area.
It is strange to see how people’s minds have been reduced to anatomical plumbing and body functions. I fault the sit-coms.