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Cheezburger Network Blog
Beergoggles!
Boondoggles
Patience is a virtue.
*squeeze*
dont squeeze too hard! he could explode
*SQUEEZE* back, and – for that matter – *SQUEEZES* all around
*squeezes WN*
*reads full name*
*humbly bows*
Can’t help myself, you guys look awkward squeezing each other…
What’s wrong with a little failblog bromance?
everything.
oh the humanity.
*squeezes Joeythegrape*
There… feel better?
You should wash yourself now, aiki.
Hey now arthur can’t all enjoy in the bromance of failblog
*washes with a wire brush*
*squeeze* Hey aiki!
*BIG SQUEEZE*
Hiya Velvet! How’s life today?
*moshes with a tire flush*
yes actually.
blomance?
nah…
your anger is a gift
She’s gonna need a bigger glass.
or a smaller man to drink for
A keg and a spigot.
A brewery.
You’re my boy, Blue!
Did I hear a request for some brewskis?
Thank God someone else appreciated the well-reference to ‘Old School’.
Some “vodka” from turkey would help.
I’d invite more fat, four-eyed, mouth breathers to my parties, but the girls would be too afraid to drink.
anyone know wat a drunk nerd looks like???
My brother was in a marching band fraternity. I’ve seen plenty, unfortunately.
there are frats for that?!
Yep. I think this pic was taken at one of their parties. That’s probably me on the left, getting c0ck-blocked by Donkey Lips.
I feel bad for him
KPsi?
Haha this is exactly what those parties look like.
they look just like everyone else only at some point they start talking about stephen hawkings and then all your beer is gone.
Umm…. wtf that guy look like me but its not…… wtf who is that black girl….wtf everyone i know think that is me wtf
i dont care wut u say, more cushion for da pushin
Hurrah for 80s fashion!
BIG HAIR FOREVER!
I just know you’re thinking about putting a big wide belt around the outside of that jumper!
*perms mullet*
*Inserts shoulder pads & pats down Jeri Curl*
$10 says Chubby c0ck-blocked every guy that hit on Pat Benatar that night.
50 dollarz say he blocked anybody from even getting in the party.
$100 says he’s probably blocking lots of emotional issues.
You want 500 DOLLAH!!!!???
Dollah = little known brother of Allah?
No, DOllah is a Unknown Unknown, Unlike Known unknowns. And Known Knowns.
“”We do know of certain knowledge that he [Dolla] is either in Afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead.”
Hey, you kinda look kind Hairy.
[insert from multiple choice]
a
of
of like
and
2 Dollars! I want my 2 dollars!!!!
*gitcher 2 Dollars RIIIIIIIGHT here*
*2 Dollars RIIIIIIIIGHT here*
Only $39.95!
Plus tax, license, shipping, and handling.
But wait! There’s more! We’ll even throw in this shiny penny!!!!
A million$$$$’s says he is just waiting in line to get beer. You can see it in his eyes…”beer i need beer to made inadequate feelings go away!”
500 too beaucoup.
That kid’s caused so many deaths from alcohol poisoning.
I’d say the opposite. One look at him and that shirt and the whole party joins AA.
*plays some vintage Elvis Costello and Blondie*
*puts Moosehead on ice*
Let’s party!
HAHA! – I was under the impression you’d only have Maxwell House and Camels, “AA”
I’ve rather gone off beer now.
That guy’s in a lather ’cause of beer now
I have a T-Shirt like that. It reads ” Drink Till You’re unconscious”.
FIRST!
First to what?
Mathew 19 verse 30 “But many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.”
LAST!!!!11!!!
So if you are first then you will most likely be last. But if you are last then you are always first.
Interesting.
Im Middle. somewhat of a decent position. Not quite last not quite first. Im a middle runner. What now bitch.
Would that be an Amen or an Oh-me?
Oh YEAAAHHH!
Epic.
Mammoth.
Gargantuan.
Titanic.
*is not impressed*
*sings*
Once…more…you open the door…
*slaps Celine Dion through the face with a golf shoe*
Always wanted to do that
She wasn’t singing from her mouth.
my stench will go on!
STFU Celine! *kicks*
“My heart will go on a— ACHK!”
/laughs at Celine’s plight with malice
Nice shot Granny… Deuced nice shot!
Now her neck is even longer from the impact.
I’ve always kind of wondered how her neck is able to support that bobble-head of hers.
Canadian magic, I suppose. It’s the same thing that makes maple syrup so tasty.
That explains SO much…
Not too much inside of her head?
Big.
Significant.
Noteworthy.
…Just a fail?
of great import
Incomparable.
He says: “hey, that’s my beer!”
She’s actually holding up the line at the buffet.
Is she on the menu? They fat ones are just waiting for her to be done?
Oh look LEILA! The buffet has potatoes and I’m behind you in the queue.
Ooooh! I love a good potato bar!
MOOMIN!! Been looking for you. *swiftly goes behind Moomin, pounces and begins potato insertion*
Ah! No jumping in the queue! That’s rude!
*wrestles with LEILA*
*joins in wrestling, generally getting in everyone’s way*
*feigns defeat and saves energy*
*squeezes LEILA and lets her be*
You suddenly seem to have come under attack a lot in this thread.
Suddenly? Have you seen MOST threads? Thanks for the squeeze. *squeeze*
*builds LEILA a fort*
does leila have any relation to diane the math teacher?
i don’t know why i ask, just seems familiar O.o
Can it be? Pangzi actually made it here early?
Holy cow!! Is that you up there? You just wait and wait…
All praise the Holy Cow!
*worships holy cow*
BLASPHEMY!!!!!
*Looks wounded*
I was just respecting the Hindu culture!
MADNESS!!!
I’m trying so hard not to say “This is SPARTAAAA!!”
Wait…
F**k.
Resistance fail.
Resistance is useless
*potatoes while you’re distracted wrestling*
*holds up potato and prepares kick*
THIS
IS
IDAHO!!!!
*fires up the barbeque*
OMGWTFBBQ
Kill an enemy with a taunt.
Back off my Holy Cow!!! Back, back…
Who let the gods out?
MOO. MOO. MOOMOOO!!!!!
*applauds kannadzuki and LEILA*
im gunn kill your family
Mmmm… baby back ribs!! Great idea!
That’s fantastic!
Um, ahhh, I did not KILL the Holy Cow! NOT ME!
_____It, uh, umm, ah, fell.
*stirs fire, adds more charcoal*
*turns over 2 huge racks of ribs*
_____Yes!
*paints ribs with hickory/honey BBQ Sauce*
_____That’s it, it FELL down the stairs! Poor thing.
*points*
_____We buried MOST of it right over there. OK?
*drools while waiting patiently in line with plate in hand*
*brings mini bar from thread above*
Drinks are on me folks. And we have coffee and assorted non alcoholic beverages to satisfy all.
Can I have a glass of melted titanium, please? With some hummingbird tears.
Fresh out of titanium. But I do have some gold… a bit softer but still good.
*kicks a hummingbird*
Gimme your tears.
*ahem*
*flattens ears*
*slinks away*
But it was just a hummingbird…
I would never dream of anything like that with other birds.
It was Arthur’s fault… Yeah all his fault. Blame him!
I try to always blame Arthur.
I think I know how I could make a hummingbird sweat, but not cry.
*is intrigued*
Continue…
*Waits patiently, intrigued as well.*
Close your eyes… imagine it is the year 2020… there has just been an election… the President of the United States is… Paris Hilton.
Sweating yet?
*waits while blaming Arthur*
*sigh* It’s always Arthur’s fault!
Yeah. I wish Arthur would do better just once.
Yes, but that German accent is just so sexy!
We can’t stay mad.
German accent – sexy?!? Really?
*feels sexy*
Definitely.
*fakes German accent*
You know that hefeweizen should always be served in the proper glassware…
“Close your eyes… imagine it is the year 2020… there has just been an election… the President of the United States is… Paris Hilton.
Sweating yet?” – Avis
You are one very scary person.
I’ll take some o’ that molten gold, thanks!
*tosses in .40 caliber Gold Dot round for flavor*
Nummers!
I prefer my molten metals plain, or maybe with a touch of lemon.
*smears meat with swine flu*
*smears LEILA with baconlube for potatoing*
*Licks baconlube off LEILA*
*Licks potato of Moomin*
*giggles*
*in corner in fetal position rocking back and forth*
*Backs slowly out of thread, with look of horror.*
*runs away from thread in terror*
*terrorizes thread with horror*
At least you didn’t run away screaming like a girl, that is always BFF’s line.
*leads LEILA away from another thread she’s being attacked in*
*watches Moomin’s back*
Nice back!
Ummm, that’s airborne…
Flying pigs?
Umm, when pigs fly…
No, dropped from bi-planes. Flying pigs would mean end of the world type stuff. We want to avoid implosion if possible.
Implosion seems to happen a lot around here.
Did you mean pig curious-planes?
HA!
(and welcome back WIK!
)
thanks DrB! had to put on my human suit and be normal for a few weeks.
Is that anything like an Edgar suit?
Except this one doesn’t hang off the bones.
I couldn’t very well buy a house as a butterfly!
they look down on that almost as much as being a single woman!
Congratulations! It’s a process, hey.
Thank you, I had to get the place all fixed up too that’s what took so long. fun though!
FINE. *goes to Mexico to make out w a pig. gets flu and sneezes in all meat products about to be consumed*
Meat terrorist!! Catch her, she’s getting away!!
*smears meat on LEILA*
*smacks lips*
*licks meat off LEILA*
*walks away disappointed*
*realises is immune to swine flu*
*celebrates*
*glares at Avis for smearing meat on me* Eeeeew! Bloody hell!!!!
You really want to trade glares with me? Aiki might warn you against that.
I had to go around for weeks with sunglasses on just in case she glanced in my direction. I think BFF (or GBF as he is currently named) has an antiglare suit but it doesn’t work well.
My professional opinion… run away.
Im not drunk and i still want that shirt….
That rivals my friends “she’s fat i’m drunk, it’s on shirt”
the second …a cler example of patience
some one get the boy a bib. He drooled on hiz shirt.
Oh. And I thought that was perspiration.
Ive seen dogs drool less over steak!
ive seen ur dad drool less over CP. LOLZ
You’re pretty bad at spelling.
Wat did i spell wrong, Dad or seen?
I think it’s your sentence structure.
Don’t you mean “ur” sentence structure?
Come to think of it, ur rite.
And it’s Scuba Steve.
dats rite malcte, lolz
sentience stricture?
structure sentencing?
Very little sentience involved in this case, Skwerl.
Very little everything nellie.
Her beer glass is like a big gulp. Like she was on a blind date, he wore that shirt and she reached for the biggest beer glass in the house, thinkin.. I’m gonna need this much and then some.
he who farts in church sits in his own pew
-confucius
welll….. if she’s following the shirts advice… is her dooomsday!!! aww poor girl =( please dunt drink to death!!!
Um. Patience win. Pretty fail. Where’s HIS beer, and how many inches would he have to poke through her eyeshadow to touch skin?
He bought that shirt for his dad, but his parents wouldn’t let him in the house when he tried to deliver it
WTF kid.. u want me to wear that? its been 35 years since i dont screw someone drunk and i’ll never will.. i made that promise to my mother before she died …. u kidding me? now i’ll punish you: wear it in a party, stand behind a 80’s style girl and maker die intoxicated!!! go nowww!!!!!!!!!!
Uhh… what?
he brought the shirt for his dad…. that was dads answer
got it
*takes it from A. Toad*
*lifts trash can lid*
*deposits it in trash can*
*replaces lid*
*walks away whistling*
*dumpster dives*
Hey I found it!!!!
*hoses Starfish while holding nose*
*hands LEILA bar of soap*
*skips away merrily*
… but it was mine…. /cry
Stop saying that word!
What word? Is it “mine”?
No, I think it is “was”
Or maybe it was “but”?
Maybe it was “slash-cry”?
It could have been ellipsis marks… Oops!
WORD!!!!
NUFF RESPEK INNIT?
he’s referring of course to the word “Ni.” thou mustn’t speaketh this word. of course, to the Knights of Ni this word is not a bother. but since he’s using the wrong spelling of “Knight” he must not be a real Knight of Ni.
I do not think it means what you think it means.
Inconceivable!
Hey! Granny’s in here!
*replaces lid and waits*
The drinking didn’t work, perhaps the element of surprise will.
*opens bin*
*climbs in alongside granny*
*cuddle*
*climbs out*
*replaces lid*
wham bam thanks mr trash can!
*closes eyes*
*pounce*
*trounce*
*flounce*
you get sloppy seconds you
Sloppy seconds remind me of my lovely little swamp back home. Sigh..
How many people fit in that trash can?! And more importantly… can I join?
/Unsuspectingly opens lid out of curiousity
Argh. Splortch. Curiosity. Bukkit?
not to worry, I’ve been drinking all morning and spelling is not one of my prerequisites to sexual relations.
*kisses A. Toad to see if he will turn into a prince* Nope
*shags anyway*
Granny’s a dancing fool.
No… I just generate hallucinogenic bodily ooze when kissed… sorry. Have a nice trip though!
My bodily fluid has a similar effect, hallucinations could be from
the beatings and starvation though
*quietly backs away from thread*
Urrrr, I think I see…
*THINKS*
…his Dad was drunk because his mother died from screwing 35 in a party or from kidding someone drunk wearing it or punishing the 80’s style girl that killed her??
Skewrlly, we are in need ofa a new stamp.
-
NO SHAGGING PERMITTED BETWEEN THE HOURS OF _____ AND _____
-
Stamp granny’s forehead when ready.
LEALI
*growls small Skwerlly type growl*
It is W before the E
OK 
*pushes buttons on massive Stamp Making Machinery*
*weird odd strange bewildering noises emit* DING
Your Stamp is Ready LIALE!
I am sorry SKWERLLY. Please take stamp and hit everyone in the trash bin w it. There is a group shagging going on in there.
*quickly un-bolds all text but SKWERLLY*
I don’t think I drank enough yet for all this.
*pulls out a mini bar*
Pff amateur!
*pulls out mega bar*
*looks at mega bar*
*walks over and drinks a fair portion of it*
*drunkenly staggers in a direction he hopes is back to his mini bar*
*restocks mega bar*
*staggers over*
*falls in mid stride*
*holds hand up for a drink*
What’s your poison sir? Donkey Bomb?
Don’t answer that, aiki! It’s a trick question!
Please tell me how you obtained this classified information.
Dewey, I think.
I don’t usually comment, but that was the worst explained and set up joke I have ever seen. Congratulations?
This is wrong…
It’s that expectant look that is the worst bit…
*has a shirt that reads “drink ’til he’s cute”*
*wears it when out at bars occasionally*
*agrees with Dr.B*
People who take advantage of the drunk women trouble me a bit.
That kid is about to start drooling with anticipation. Scary business that girl got herself involved in.
Avis… *snickers*
Malicite, never work in a bar. You start to get weirdly protective of the customers while still wanting to throttle them.
*nod nod*
*squeeze* Morning Avis!
*squeeze* Morning.
It’s too early to be awake, and my guests got here about an hour ago. They are both sleeping right now, their bus got in at 6am.
Wow… early guests. I don’t think I could get up that early. Then again I go to bed at 2 am.
Their bus left at midnight. But the truly awesome part is… they brought me my favoritest chips!!! I can’t get ‘em here and they brought me SEVEN bags!!!
SCORE! So the price for admission is a modest some of chips. What type may I ask?
Old Vienna brand Red Hot Ripplets. I call them crack chips. They are highly addictive. They’re kinda like Lay’s brand Flamin’ Hots, but not quite.
Ah. A lady who enjoys spice…
)
*falls in love*
Velvet you’ve been replaced (not really
My favorite chips are Walkers Cajun Squirrel Flavour Potato Crisps, but I haven’t been able to find any in a long while.
I tend to eat these ’til my lips are numb from the spices. But then, I’m a glutton for punishment. A bit of advice though, don’t drink a LOT of beer AND eat a LOT of the chips.
Consider your advice taken. The chips I love to eat are the type where you start to eat them and you have to keep going because of the burn. I also tend to overload on Assplosion or Dick and Jane hot sauces on my tacos. BTW all these types are real folks (yes including the chips)… not made up. Take a look.
You guys should try Poore Brothers habanero chips. They’ll fuse your retinas! My record is 1.5 bags without a drink. That was painful…
They all are wearing “Hi my name is…” stickers. Perhaps this is some kind of bizarre college singles mixer with a drink-til-you-want-that-guy theme. Shudder.
Ohhhh I getcha…and maybe he’s a second-year student who’s a ‘mentor’ for their little gathering. Shudder.
They’ll be selling the VHS of this on the interwebs in a few weeks… just watch…
/borf
Drink till you want to blue me
*greens all over the place*
*takes a small sip*
*dumps 5 gallon bukkit of BLUE indelible dye on top of GCF*
Ahhhh! Satisfyingly refreshing! *runs*
Not sure if you RED that the way she meant it…
You’re just GREEN with envy that you didn’t think of it before.
She probably just wanted a simple handshake and YELLOW.
She’ll be in a BLACK mood in the morning.
The phone goes green green. I pink it up and say, yellow?
Oh, so this is your number, great!
IS NOT!!!
Oh, sorry. I must’ve taken it down wrong. I guess we’ll have to find someone else to accept this award for humanitarianism to pigs. Sorry to have bothered you ma’am.
Oh no…fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice I will beat you. Not falling for this again.
*hangs up*
*looks at award*
*gives to grannycatflap*
Skwerlly, WHERE IS THAT STAMP I ASKED FOR?? *doesn’t know why she is yelling*
*Delivers stamp, exquisitely carved from the finest oak, ‘from skwerly’ is inscribed across the handle.*
Ooo, your comment only just appeared…I wouldn’t have mauved in on the thread had I seen it!
That girls looks an awful lot like someone I know. She usually has a beer in her hand too.
chubby chaser?
Tubby toast.
Chubby Checker?
Nope, her boyfriend is really really thin actually. But wherever she goes, guys hang all over her. It’s interesting to see how that happens sometimes.
perhaps its her choice of hangout, or the way she can down beer pints
Is it just me or does the boy there look like he has spilled most of his beer?
Also does that girl’s name tag say “Lucy has Bite?”
I think it says “Lay his b*tch”.
I’m still trying to figure that out.
Actually I think it says “Lucy has B.L.T” which might explain a few things…
Hahahahahahaha
hahahahahahaha
That’s why the chubby guys are always swarming her!
Ah… I think it is Lacy, not Lucy. “Lacy has Bit” or “Lacy has Bite”
It’s partly her attitude, I think. And the way she can down beer pints.
It looks more like she’s throwing up.
Well, look at what’s waiting for her
“Uh….are we there yet?”
Does her shirt really say “Team Tap That”?!
Oh. My. God. Keri, you’re spot-on.
Human beer tap WIN.
Tapping the keg WIN.
I’d tap that. (The keg, that is.)
I’d tap that. (The leg, that is.) *woof*
I’d tap that, and gain one green mana to play Llanowar Elves.
I’d tap that, and gain one red mana to play tremor.
No! My elves!
*smiles and puts squee back into hand*
Screw tapping that, I have two black lotuses on the field. =P I’ll tap and sacrifice those instead and play three might of krosas on my phantom warrior. 14/14 unblockable! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
legacy weapon that phantom warrior!
Puzzlequest?
Not quite as cool as that I’m afraid! MTG.
Of course. *facepalm*
Tapping cards. Oops.
*passes Moomin tapping rag*
.
(hey there, say there *bids good day there!*)
And here I was thinking it was going to be a picture of that burning monk.
This should be the WIN of the Month.
till she has her period
I lol’d
I lol’d, I crd, it bcme a prt uv me.
If this is a patience win, where are the cascading cards?
He’s using French letters instead?
LOL, is it possible for a chick to drink THAT much! LOL
RT
http://www.anonymity.ru.tc
He def. got it that night!!!!!
This photo made my day.
Oh yeah? What about THIS photo *flashes a picture of granny shagging in the dumpster with multiple failers*
Some of the most appalling debauchery I’ve ever witnessed in Failblog forums. But really, what should I expect, given the fail involves alcohol and sex.
Oh my. You’re quite the photogenic hibiscus, Leila.
*blushes*
And just what were you doing out there AT the dumpster with granny and the other failers???
HMMMM????
who says I was involved?
Pffft, when pigs fly.
B2F!!! *SQUEEZE!*
You’re leaking.
3 more beers and they will
*Voice Mail Recording* Hi! I am not available right now. Please leave a message and I will return your call when I get back. Beeeeeeeeeeep!!!!
Icky icky putaaang whup! Nigh.
THIS IS MY MATE ANTONY BASTIANI
anyone else notice that he sweat through the middle of his shirt?
No, you’re the first!
And it’s not sweat… he brooled…
Unrelated post alert!!!
Anyone remember what that youtube video by the frat kids (i think in a talent show) dancing, in the ‘white suits’ with the ‘floating’ dots, to techno is called? Or possibly a link to?
gueeeeeeeess not
I know him! Haha! That’s awesome.
Drink, baby! Drink! Still 2 fat? Here, have another one! Damn… passed out… NEXT!
Hmmm…
Yeeeeeeeessssssss?
That’s how i ended up getting married.
is that some emo dude drinking?
It wouldn’t be called a win if it was “some emo dude”. It might be a win to you if you’re gay.
Dude, that’s the first thing that crossed my mind after the initial “ew-factor”… that and “hum… does the nametag actually say -lay his bits-? WTF!”
mmm peanuts
i hope it paid off and he got some!
my friends say thats gonna be me in a year or two…
…and i dont blame them! XD
The Budweiser Clydesdales couldn’t haul enough booze for that to happen. :<
Is it just me, Or does he look like the Numa Numa guy?
Ahahahaha!
WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN
I hope this isnt considerd spam but this would be the funniest picture I saw in a month
Not-actually-but-claiming-in-case-no-one-else-did-first!
Everyone’s an aspiring comedian here!
She’s gonna need to drink a hell of a lot more beer! LOL
It look like an Erasmus initiation.
HAHAHAHA
At least he’s realistic about his prospects?
That’s his rape-face.
He shouldn’t hold his breath. Unless, of course, he can hold it for a very long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time.
lol thats weird…
Impeccable strategy WIN
She’ll be blind before she wants him.
Lawlz
Another 3 or 4 pitchers – and it will be time to score!
WOW
Poor girl, she would be dead if she drinks so much…..
also seen a t-shirt that read: “txt me when I’m drunk”
Does anybody know who that fat bastard is???
Yes – Whoever he is make your self known to us all…you are classsic
There could NEVER be enough beer in the world for that! I mean he’s wearing glasses for pete’s sake! As if! I bet you thought the problem with this guy was his t-shirt color. Wrong he’s totally Autumn/Winter.
#67
So wearing glasses means automatically ugly?
Shallow prick.
who ever posted this get in touch, i think its my mate lol!!!
Hey Ham…by “Mate” you mean your gay lover correct?
Hey Ham you and fat guy make a nice couple.
William McDonald…FAIL
rofl I fell out of my chair laughing xD
epic win.
Laughed so hard when i read ” Patience Win”
a guy with low confidence and a lack of faith, i think.