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Cheezburger Network Blog
# Breaking the law,
breaking the law…
I fought the law, the law won
You should try moeing it. Its related to the lawn.
moeting it?
Is that a posh term for bottling them?
Turns out you can’t use the unitalic command to stop it typing in bold.
You learn something new everyday.
Usually slightly too late to not look stupid.
*cries*
North Korea Missle Test Win?
this is a WIN not a fail!!
Should read: America Fail.
all it’s gonna do is release a virus
No, that thing crashed and burned. wat we have here is a overthinking, retardation, and national security win all at the same time
No, Maddox Win.
too late, you split the infinitive. hahah.
haha. that comment made my night
wut triggers da bomb mariah carrie?
I think he means mowing.
Somehow…
Fighting the law == Mowing the lawn.
?
A woman (I forget her name) wrote a blurb in which she played around with words that sound similar. She related mow lawn to law man and
law and such.
Well, I shot the sherriff.
)
(hello, btw!
*waves*
What we’ve got here is a total lack of respect for the law
*chuggy bassline kicks in*
Howdy!
*squeeze*
Put down your weapons, you now have 20 seconds to comply…
*scratching, James Brown squeals, dodgy Brit-rap ensues*
*squeeze*
“You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya punk?”
- “You shot an unarmed man!”
- “Well, he should have armed himself!”
One small iPod for a man; one giant hydrogen bomb for mankind!
Now you can play Global Thermo-Nuclear War and rock out to R.E.M.’s “It’s the end of the world”
Just not with an iPod controlled missile.
cuz that’d violate the TOS.
considering the age of the missiles, the IPod’s processor is more powerful.
awwwwww shiiiiiit
shoulda read the terms properly, I’m definitely screwed
blood will flow, padre, padre you talk to your boys.
Song reference WIN
No, what we’ve got here is…..failure, to communicate.
*eats fifty eggs*
*falls over*
Blaaaaaaaaaaaarg.
Nice. You will never break his spirit, but you could eat his salad dressing.
Look at the young men fighting,
look at your women crying,
look at your young men dying,
the way they’ve always done before.
Best salad dressing ever.
“two thousand island dressing – twice the number of islands of any other salad dressing” I laughed so hard in the superstore at that.
*puts on GCF wig under tophat*
*smokes cigarette*
*strikes pose with guitar on clifftop*
And all the profits went to sick children. (sorry for the serious comment)
*You forgot the microchapel*
There’s not enough people like he was. Legend.
Agreed.
*puts on ultra tight crotched slick leather pants*
– just to clarify, comments on top are about Paul Newman, and coments in asterick are about Slash….
*imagines Paul Newman dressed as Slash*
I prefer 3 mile island dressing.
I’m in!
If it weren’t time for a show then the curtain wouldn’t be open for a show. So sit back and relax and wait for your opening act to begin. Baddboyfilms , always entertaining , always knowing who to entertain and when. That’s why we are Baddboys and we leave the others behind ….
Ha, I love that song expecially Green Day’s and the Clash’s version
Curses, I was going to use my ipod charger to charge up my electric nuclear missle.
Yeah, dang it!
*puts down beaker full of radioactive chemical nastiness*
A vintage 1984 Apple Macintosh with 128k of memory runs
the whole of Evil Swerlly Labs, LLC. Whay will I do NOW!?
Switch to a ‘good’ OS, try Linux, for all your evil genius needs!
lol i clickied your name
good to know
Do you need t.p. for your bung hole?
No wonder nobody reads these terms and agreements
I can use it 2 make tons of stuff, if i tried.
apple suckz
Noooooo… this suckz!
Ha Ha! Get it? “this” suckz! Ha ha
ha ha!
I knew I should have read that agreement more carefully. Now what am I going to do with all this fertilizer?
You put a load of crap on your ipod?
Does anything else go on them?
Yes in fact im using mine to surf failblog.
Crap and midget heads. Hard to separate the two. *hugs*
It only cost peanuts though! *squeeze*
Ooh, you squoze out some peanut butter.
iHave the iBread and iJam.
I got the iFeast, you can plug in your iproducts (I used my irack) and i cooks you up chicken and rice!
grammar fail
I capitalization fail
…IPRESNT TO YOU… THE IFAIL!
Crap…. My iFail is epicly making me fail. EPICLY.
HAIL GRAMMAR NATZI… not
shouldn’t that be irice? Just saying.
Oh…and hi everyone. First time commenter here.
Been looking at all the fails for ages though.
And i’m male before anyone makes any assumptions.
People online always seem to think i’m female for some reason:-|
And with all your jelly we could make quite a sandwich.
Gotta be jelly ‘cos jam don’t shake like that! (well, do you, jam?)
Where’s the banana costume?
We need one to complete the sandwich.
Um… yellow cake?
Depends what’s on my iTunes. Yesterday, I wouldn’t shake too well as they only went up to J; I conserve’d my energy and didn’t build any weapons.
*jiggles Jam around*
Oh… look what you did! You’ve made my iTunes unstable.
*runs for cover*
Quick! Hide under my desk!
*climbs under Moomin’s desk*
*looks up*
What does that say up there?
I still refuse to use iTunes!
FINALLY someone I can agree with. I thought I was alone in this world gaynorvader. Can I just call you gay?
“please do not press this button”
*presses button*
Sure, if you want…
*worriedly hides sexuality in cardboard box*
What software do you use in place of iTunes?
*Presses button repeatedly*
It’s not doing anything…
?
-=bing=-
*the sign lights up*
“please do not press this button again”
Turn the light out! I’m trying to hide here. Sheesh…
No really, I TOLD YOU!! Don’t press the button!!
Looks quite cosy down there with all of you.
Oi! Stop tying my shoelaces together.
*shakes fist at under desk posse*
Hey Moomin! Why keep that button under your desk anyway?
Collect dna samples for cloning.
Now you can clone Chaz but I think it’s been done before.
*sees my own skin cells on the button*
OH GOD!
*Chaz_Festerbottom #2 and #3 appear*
Hi guys!
Hi Brewski #2. What did you do w #1?
I think he’s still under Moomin’s desk.
No, the crap has white paint on it.
Something tells me we’ll need more than a wet paint sign.
Golly, imagine having trouble with an iPod
My iPod Shuffle and Nano both had stripped gears
and I had to replace the transmissions entirely on
both of them! Luckily the guys down at the local
computer shop had some rebuilt iPod transmissions
in stock and it only cost like $75!
I’d get an iPod Touch since they have no moving parts
and all, but I’m worried how much the semi-monthly
lubrication will be. Is it more than the $15 I pay now?
Fail.
Because both the nano or the shuffle doesn’t have moving parts, ie HDD.
What lubrication, where?
I use iTunes because I own an iPod…
I got my iPod for free or I would be pissed…
I have to reset it once a week or it crashes…
but it was free so I love it!!
i knew it, itunes is a wmd!!
But not a .wmv
yea, bomb microsoft too
No. Microsoft is ok, just cover Bill Gates in Baconlube and send in the hounds.
Then open the Microsoft employee cage and set them loose into Apple and everyone will live happily ever after.
Darn, that’s exactly what I was planning to do with my iTunes downloads!
I have only seen Barney drinking Evian or Gin & Tonics, so that’s wrong.
Luckily you can still use your Zune to build massive destruction weapon, as it is not forbidden by their license agreement.
Or you can just carry on as normal with your iTunes; they’ll never know you’ve built any weapons as they never check.
As far as I know, Sadam Husane used iTunes but never read the agreement. And we all know what happened to him.
Pfft! He’s alive and working in Asda with Elvis.
So thats why I was forced to buy Cilet BANG…
Jonny Briggs used to work in Asda. Sadly his dog Razzle didn’t
Rick Astly works in Asda.
Thats why no one goes there anymore.
Cos he’s never gonna give up being happy to help?
He’s worse than Michael Jackson, cus he’s no stranger to love.
ASDA?
*wiki’s*
ASDA is a National student-run organization which protects and advances the rights, interests and welfare of students pursuing careers in dentistry.
*wanders away confused & wondering about those British folk*
Nothing new. Most is not all USA EULA include this section. I think this is required by US laws.
Uhhh… no. No, it’s not.
pretty sure that this is unique to apple.
apple has a history of putting some hilarious stuff into the SLAs for those who care to read them.
Aw crap.
I pimped my iPod, its now a rocketnuclearchemicalbiologicalweaponsPod.
They’re gonna send the fail-undercovered fuzz after me now!
D:
You’re not in the US?
Oh wait!
I’m a buck toothed tea drinking posh talking British lad!
Oi should be quoite foine n dandai if it aint fer truth.
-I should be quite fine and dandy, and thats the truth-
Have you been to some other Britain that I’m not aware of?
*looks around*
Or is this another, secret Britain? Like The Island?
Yeah, where is this second Britain you speak of?
Not over here!
No deal
hugh jupp is a rapist
Jupp Heynckes? Poor FC Bayern!
*takes up his iWeapen to fight the iPirates*
iRRRRRRRRR!
iThinks yer be after iBooty!
iHoist that iscurveydog from the iyardarm!
Make him walk the iPlank.
did they let McGyver use iTunes and had to add this section after that?
iTunes is much too sophisticated for him.
This day, thanks to this website, I learned that there is at least one guy who reads the license agreement carefully. I’m puzzled.
It was just the lawyer who wrote it. Lawyers are weird.
I think you misspelled wired.
*passes coffee*
(hiya!)
*has two cups of coffee now* *toasts self* Hey, B! Cheers!
Hey, lawyers…
*thinks*
Lawyers could be a potential source of humor. Somebody should come up with a lawyer joke! Or maybe it’s already been done.
*goes to grab a cup of coffee*
And he’s only halfway through. Wonder what other fails this agreement contains?
Not to be used in conjunction with the iPotato baconlube application.
There is also something about Baconvodka and BaconGummies.
Nah, the iPotato & iBaconlube are only in the iPhone App Store. Not iTunes itself.
this is like soo fake >.>
I checked it myself and it speaks the truth.
They also speak about not using CD’s to place your mug on, but who the hell would be stupid enough to do that in the first place?
If people are stupid enough to do all the things shown on this site, there are plenty of people stupid enough to put a mug on a CD.
Then people are stupid enough to program a nuclear warhead to explode to Miley Sirus songs from iTunes.
8]
Hmmmm. If we put a cuppa on a cd and submitted to FB, I reckon people would still yell photoshopped.
And yet the real photoshopped ones somehow avoid all those “Photoshopped” comments.
I don’t know what they all mean. I’ve been to the photo shop and they’re not fake at all; I gave them money, they gave me my pictures.
REAL!OMG!!!!1111##!!!
NOES!
Those photos are printed on fake photo paper!
D:
The photo is a lie?
No, no, no, (now listen carefully),
the LIE has been PHOTOGRAPHED!
http://images.apple.com/legal/sla/docs/itunes.pdf
It’s real
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with using AOL disks as coasters!
I used to know a guy who used CDs to put his mugs on. It was back in the day when when AOL and others used to send out CDs on a weekly basis. He also made a mobile for his babies crib out them. Shiny.
I’ve got a BT internet, AOL and a Yahoo broadband coaster for my coffee. I change them depending on my mood. As for the baby’s mobile, thats quite inventive. +1 Gold Star!
I had a ton of those too and considered doing that, then decided that I didn’t really want AOL’s logo and graphics as part of my decor. They did make an ok coasters though with the printed side down.
*removes “an” knowing no one will notice*
East or West coasters?
THE Coasters.
I just used them as clay pigeons for X.
That Reploid can shoot! Right through the hole in the middle, Every time!
*quickly picks up coffee mug and wipes CD off with sticky Mouse Mat*
What the hell? My comment got eaten
*cheeks are puffing out*
Washn’t me!
~nom nom nom~
Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
My reply to this got eaten too! I think because I included the word c*ckney! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Does ‘dickney’ work?
Yep.
Hmm…. penisney.
Ha!
Schlongney.
Johnsonney.
Schwanzney.
Dongney
Downtohiskneeney?
*loads dart*
*aims at the Moomin*
*fires dart at neck*
Just enough in there to calm a Moomin.
*falls over*
*starts dribbling*
Naaaaaaaaaaaah.
*stalking Moomin* Time for potatos!!!!
*takes pot o’ toes from LEILA, points to relevant section of Geneva convention*
Oh no, here it is?!?
I give in.
Am going home and am taking my monitor with me.
*storms out of office trailing cables*
That’s NOT your monitor!
Itza framed and signed official souvenir photograph, (not Photoshpped), of the Dear Queen Mother and your entire Moomin class the day you were home with the measles.
Yeah, what is this. I’m still waiting for my Mighty Aphrodite Pirate comment to show up on the previous fail.
Only in America! America FAIL!
Seeing as most people who come here are american, I feel rude saying this…
but agreed!
I swear there must be at least one state where dumb people live!
I mean getting lock INSIDE your car, Undercover label on a cop car and nuclear iTunes?
o-o
I’d say California, definitely.
Mum wants to MOVE there!
TBH I’m in it for the cold weather…
Stupidity is universal. But a highly litigious society is definitely American. There are more lawyers here than any country in the world. I once heard a stat that there are more lawyers in the Columbia tower in Seattle than in all of Japan.
About 70% of all law wording about taxation worldwide are written in German…
They write it in a made-up language so we can’t argue about it?
Unless you have a PhD!
Ouch!! You just stepped on my foot, Arthur!
Not only will this cost upwards of $10,000 in medical bills, but I’m going to sue your for $10M for pain and suffering!! You shall be hearing from my lawyer!
Ok, but you know that our taxation laws will reduce the sum significantly, don’t you? 0.002 Cents for medical bills and $0.002 for pain and suffering will actually be paid to you.
Damn, I need to find an American to sue. Germans definitely are the kings of taxation and tax law. Typical taxation rate of 50% if I recall.
Yep. But a social security net, health care and so on. So it’s not too bad in my opinion.
Health care?
Bah! Who needs it! Just don’t get sick!
I tried, I failed.
American Education System Fail. In my state there is a test that all students much pass before graduating high school. It just tests basic math and language skills, makes sure that kids aren’t complete idiots before handing them a diploma. There is wide spread opposition because people feel teachers are being forced to teach to the test. Yes, people object to their kids learning basic life skills because it takes away the teachers freedom to teach whatever they like.
FAIL! Upon Fail!
oh wth someone teach me to make a weapon out a\of itunes plz!
ill make u a millionare!
this is making me rofl
Kidnap someone with WMDs and force them to listen to Miley Cyrus songs until they cave and agree to give you whatever you want.
Thats how Hitler actually took over most of the world.
History lied to us.
He just played Miley Cyrus to the ehad of each country till they caved in.
Luckilly the fangirls in the US were imune to it thus beating hitler.
excuse me but if my history is correct, malta from europe beated hitler
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=macs_cant Durrhurr
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben-Hur_(1959_film) BenHur
… but i can still can use itunes to torture people with tokio hotel or to invade lichtenstein … good 2 know
that sounds like a challenge to me
*grabs pad of paper and designs nuclear rocket aided by 4-minute AAC files*
Done.
*hands cardboardmousemat some toilet roll tubes, a squeezey bottle and some sellotape*
You might be needing these.
*squeeze!*
Hey Jam! how are you? Long time, I’ve got spray withdrawal :O(
Hey Granny!
You should have been around for that horse fail a few days ago. We’ve all missed you.
*squeeze*
Yeah, bummed I missed that one, was at the doctors getting a horse removed, I hope the x ray didn’t affect the pregnancy
Granny, we’ve told you before about horseplay and drinking, you’ll never learn. Tsk!
He asked me to check his shoe when all of a sudden….
He never did call me back, I’d like to think its because he doesn’t have opposable thumbs to pick up the phone
He really was well hung
This is a joke, it’s an easter egg put in as a joke because “no one” reads the license agreement. It’s not as if they meant it as a serious threat.
Tell that to the US state department
Is it still required to fill out the questionnaire when you visit the US? The one where you have to answer every question with ‘no’? I loved the question if I was a Nazi war criminal!
I did when I was there in about 2000, had to make my own student card for them to let me in
I guess it must be even harder now. The lady that interviewed me back then had a twitch in one of her eyes that made it look like she was winking at me. It was a very difficult interview as you can imagine as I kept wanting to wink at her after every question. 
Hehehe! They gave me that questionnaire in the plane. I guess if I had answered anything with ‘yes’ they would have made me wait on the airport for four weeks until my flight back leaves…
Not sure about that, they might have tried to flush you. They asked me to empty my bag about 5 times at one airport, maybe I look dodgy.
We had to change planes in Atlanta. We asked what happens with our luggage. “No problem, it’ll be taken care of”. Then we saw it on a conveyor belt (correct expression?) by pure chance…
Those tricky Americans and their crazy ways, got to love ‘em….hard
Well, you can never be too careful. It’s quite likely we’ll be invaded by a bunch of geriatric nazi war criminals. All 3 of them.
I really don’t understand why no-one worries about those German WW I. war criminals.
*twirls*
does my bomb look big in this?
No, black is so slimming! Your fuse is open, though.
He’s getting ready to detonate his missile.
DON’T CALL HIS iPHONE!!!
*fires a warning shot*
*lies down and goes to sleep*
granny, you’re the bomb no matter what you wear!
AW! Thanks Leila! Luckily I’m not wearing faeces for a change today
Urine a nice one piece?
Probably just some regurgitated design from last summer
Clever!
-
Besides, it would be a complete waste if she is not in one piece.
That was pre itunes ver. 8.0, my one piece became many, but I have a very impressive crater now
Are we still discussing uranus?
well I’m not sure, it’s very difficult to tell now. If we follow logic and base our assumptions on what discharge is coming out of it…… still not sure
Ahhh! The sweet sounds of American infantry shelling a chicken farm…. got to be one of my favorite tracks
*mists with napalm room spray* Ah, ambience!
Ah yes! This really takes me back to Nam and the chicken chop suey they served there
I OBJECT!!!
Don’t put yourself down LEILA, you are not an object!
*pats LEILA on shoulder whilst licking lolly*
ok..I will use OBJECTION going forward. K?
*treats objects like women*
perfect
*offers LEILA some lolly*
Sugar free lolly?
A stick?*takes stick and hits Ninja on the head w it* OOOPSY! Sorry.
CAUTION
The following segment may contain material way too violent to be suitable for children. Viewer discretion is advised.
*grabs bucket of popcorn and front-row seat*
*invites local 3rd-graders to watch it*
I dunno, I found it!
Nuclear weapons, theres an app for that.
I’m still not getting an iPhone.
I want a Mac Mini……anybody know where I can get one dirt cheap?
Taliban
I thought “without funding terrorism” was implied.
Although my wife bought several bootleg dvd’d and a purse in NYC last weekend.
Shame on you! I hope you beat her with her purse after that
I know right!?!
And I was really dissapointed later when she sold WMD’s to Pakistan.
Women, eh?
Well I hope you a least spent some of the money on torturing her.
Our marriage works because the torture is free. Well unless you count cuddles afterwards as currency.
Come mr taliban, tally me banana
Daylight come and we wanna go hooooome
OLD!! This was sooo 5 weeks ago!
I’m sooo 34 years ago…
You can craft missiles with itunes!? I’m getting that!!
Wait, in order to find this someone actually read the license agreement?! WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!
My company used to import spandex from US – I had to sign the same kind of agreement, telling I wouldn’t use it to produce missiles or other weapons – with elastic yarn!!!. It made me laugh every single time I signed it.
But you still build a nuclear bomb, didn’t you?
He DID! He DID! Now let’s all check his stuff to see where he hid it! He probably buried underground in Iraq…
*glares at ex-president Bush*
I love the smell of iTunes in the morning.
Smells Like Teen Spirit
Teens smell…period.
Teens smell like period?!
Teen’s period smells? Didn’t want to know that!
Ditto.
Hmmph*angrily crosses arms and glares at no one in particular*
*jumps up and down in front of Blog Ninja*
Hello! Heeeellooo-oo!
*resists the urge to glare at Arthur*
Pfft.
*glares at self*
Whaddup now?
*hugs no one in particular*
Awwww, that’s sweet!
*squeeze*
Funniest thing about this fail is the fact that some people actually take their time reading this crap instead of just scrolling down and pressing ‘I agree’.
ur right.why would anyone read the agreement???
‘morning everyone!!!! *pushes nuke under table*
Morning LEILA.
*pushes nuke back out*
This is my hiding place! Not very good if you found me though.
*wonders what jam was doing under my table* My bad. I will find someplace else to put it. Have you seen Moomin?
Oh… I think I may have hidden under the wrong desk.
*casually walks off to find a breakout room*
*tentatively licks LEILA’s nuke*
Tastes like money!
HEY!!! You have to make a sizeable payment before you can lick my nuke. Back off!!!! *swats gaynorvader w rolled up newspaper*
*retreats to corner with a whimper and continues work on nova grenade*
It’s okay Gaynorvader. Have an orange =D
*Hands gaynorvader an orange*
*takes orange in some tissues looks at Chaz in confusion*
gaynorvader, to answer your question way above, I use Samsung Media Studio5 to manage my music on my MP3 player. I will do anything to avoid anything Apple.
Oh, so you don’t have an iPod? I got one for my birthday off my godmother, so I had to keep it! Apple really don’t like you not using iTunes!
It’s a complete sham. Apple doesn’t want you using anything w Apple unless it’s Apple. And they charge you an arm and a leg. I had a friend who stood in line for EIGHT hours to get the iPhone. I laughed.
Well at least Apple finally got rid of all DRM. So you can move that song to a CD for your car, or whatever.
(Hi Leila!)
*goes out to buy enough pizza to survive 10 years of fallout and some paper packets to make sand bags*
Just cheese on thin crust for me granny. TY
*raises eyebrow*
Careful what you wish for there LEILA!
*eats all the other toppings*
*accidentally bites own hand*
Its going to be a long 10 years for some :0
Get Twinkies. They’ll last forever.
Twinkies and Spaghetti O’s!
*barfs in mouth* Oh yeah…and some chocolate cake.
You might have been impregnated already in our efforts to repopulate the earth, or its the anti-christ just in time for amageddon
Whoa!! I am no baby factory. Get it out!!!!!
*grabs plunger and some towels*
*passes out*
Oh GAWD!!! MEDIC…MEEEEEEEEEEEDIC!!!
*CPR*
cool
I think this is done on purpose as a small joke for people who actually read the license agreement. So it’s actually a win.
Nope. As previous comments pointed out it’s required by US law. This is a fail. But I give you props for your username. How do you pronounce it?
Progress Bar?
So, in US law you’re required to tell people they can’t use the program to create missiles and other stuff impossible to create with it? WTF!!?
And I also don’t know how to pronounce this name XD
So now I can use my itunes to take over the world, sweet.
You clicked ‘I agree’ (iAgree?), therefore you can’t. Sorry.
… F***!… Unless they don’t know…
Apple, Google and Microsoft know everything about you…
They’re everywhere… the gov’t watch your every move, we screwed.
You live in a country that is governed by Apple, Google and Microsoft?
What else do you think the AGM stands for?
Automatic GrandMother
snick……anybody beats a 72 gets a cookie.
clickie for snickie
I got 0.
That’s cause you’re hiding under a desk!
*Squeezes all*
G’Morning!
Me too
*dances with Jam*
Wahey!
*wiggles and shakes 80’s style*
*mows the lawn*
*does the lawn sprinkler*
*gets arrested for indecent behaviour in public*
*bails out the Moomin*
*hands over a wad of 50’s*
*Does the safety dance*
If you are over 30 the test doesnt work for some reason. I will search for a similar test about Sesame Street and Captain Kangaroo.
86.7 thengyewveddymuch
And Round House never got the recognition it deserved.
Chocolate chip please!
Well… I did listen to ITunes when i drink coffe. That counts as a biological wheapin right?
i am a weapon of mass destruction, i cant use itunes
I have a weapon of ass destruction. Can I use iTunes?
thats a different kind of weapon, so… yes
So I guess I don't need my iTunes anymore.iTunes and anything Apple SUCKS!!! Take your nunchucks and chuck away!
YeeeEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!1!!!one!!!!
Bad Apple!
Bad iTunes!
Stupid Steve Jobs and his stupid pretty computers!!
Vista Rules!!
*beats the living hell out of Apple, the MacBook, Steve Jobs, and anything else apple (but not the iTouch cuz those are really cool)*
*pushes potatos, zucchini, mushrooms, celery, garlic, onions to be chopped along the other iStuff*
HaaaAAAAYYeeaEAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!*returns veggies as an indistinguishable mass of vegetable pulp*
TY. *makes some kind of sauce w mass of veggie pulp*
It would go great with some BAYCUN LOOB!!*resists the urge to punch ninja in the face* Um…ah, uh…..sorry, fresh out. I can add some swine flu to it though if you wish.
NOT FIRST!!!
Congratulations! I hereby present you with the obvious stick!
*Waves the obvious stick in a playful fashion*
Yay! I always wanted one of those!
1. No @!#$$ alowed on this wiki, unless it is for the group stabbing and beating of it.
2. Everything on this wiki must be entertaining.
3. If you are an idiot, read rule number 4.
4. If you are an idiot, read rule number 3.
5. If you aren’t an idiot, you’re reading this rule.
6. If you can think of it, there’s porn of it.
7. If you can’t think of it, there’s still probably porn of it.
8. Everything on this wiki is a lie, except for that, and cat, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, C and that, and that, H and that, and that, and that, and U that, and that, and C that, and th Kat, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that, and that. Oh screw it.
9. The cake is a lie.
10. There are no girls on the internet, it’s usually chris Hanson.
11. Free kevin
12. Without the rules, there aren’t ANY rules, without the rules, YOU do not exist. Also lock theft is not a real crime.
13. is not a person. He is a time space anomaly that for some reason showed up hear, to great unluckiness.
14. Norris.
15 Everything you write is someone’s fettish.
Secret Rule 1. NO READING ALLOWED IF YOU OBEYED RULES 3 AND 4!
16. If you are an idiot, THEN wtf are you doing reading this rule?!?!?!
17. If you are NOT an idiot, you aren’t reading this rule because of the secret rule that only smart people know, that says: ” Only idiots read rule 17 in a list!”.
18. Lurk more, you never lurk enough.
19. Have you found the guy who is about to roundhouse kick you in the face yet?
20. Rule 20 is a lie.
21. If you can think of it there is also furry porn of it.
22. You don’t want know what furry porn is, trust me!
23. The more you hate it the stronger it gets.
24. This site is not your personal army, it’s ALLMIGHTY RULER TAFSDo’s.
25. Don’t argue a with troll, it means they win.
26. Gmod is awesome no exceptions.
27. Collect pages.
28. ????
29. Profit.
30. Facepunch!
31. No chatspeak. LOL
32. 1337 !5 4L\/\/4Y5 R3L3v4/\/T.
33. n4036c2 5s a3wys re3evant.
34. 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101100 01110111 01100001 01111001 01110011 00100000 01110010 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100001 01101110 01110100.
35. CAPSLOCK IS ALWAYS RELEVANT.
36. if it’s not divisable by 8 it’s not binary
37. no one is ever on this wiki
38. Unless you beleive there are people on the internet
39. ZOMG!??!?!?!?!?!??!
40. crime doesn’t pay, unless you’re good at it
41. B
42. The answer to life, the universe and everything. Also the Age of Chuck Norris, which is why it is the answer.
43. some of this was writen by j!#@$$@
44. But most of it was writen by J!@#$!r until he quit, now he only goes on every few weeks
45. All gramatical mistakes must be reported to Secretary of Truth-!@#$!
46. If you ever see a dying sheep ask if it has robitussen and then step on your panphlet.
47. tits or gtfo
48. pics or it didn’t happen
49. !@#$!@!$#@$#$#@$#@@!34r commits fraud
50.
51. falešná úložište
52: this wiki has really gone downhill
53: Jo!@#$!$#@n is the one who destroyed this wiki
54: And!@#$$#@o has written at least as much as @!#$!
55: I agree with the principled views that lock theft isnt a crime.
You have way too much free time.
“34. 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101100 01110111 01100001 01111001 01110011 00100000 01110010 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110110 01100001 01101110 01110100.”
+1
01000110 01010101 01000011 01001011 00100001 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100000 01010100 01010010 01000001 01001110 01010011 01001100 01000001 01010100 01000101 01000100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01001001 01010011 00101100 00100000 01010111 01001000 01011001 00100000 01000001 01010010 01000101 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100000 01010011 01010100 01010101 01010000 01001001 01000100 00100000 01000100 01001111 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100000 01001000 01000001 01010110 01000101 00100000 01001100 01001111 01000001 01000100 01010011 00100000 01001111 01000110 00100000 01010100 01001001 01001101 01000101 00100000 01001111 01001110 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 01010010 00100000 01001000 01000001 01001110 01000100 01010011 00100000 01001111 01010010 00100000 01010011 01001111 01001101 01010100 01001000 01001001 01001110 01000111 00101100 00100000 01010011 01010100 01000001 01010010 01010100 00100000 01000100 01001111 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 01010010 00100000 01001000 01001111 01001101 01000101 01010111 01001111 01010010 01001011 00100000 01001111 01010010 00100000 01000111 01000101 01010100 00100000 01000001 00100000 01001010 01001111 01000010 00100001 – DONT TRANSLATE THIS!!!
On item #8, you missed out that.
Aja, your avatar got photoshopped!
)
*squeeze*
(made me laugh!
*squeeze*
*ventures out for coffee*
I have a problem with the requirements of number 50.*reads #53*
*sobs*
I so did not…
01000110 01010101 01000011 01001011 00100001 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100000 01010100 01010010 01000001 01001110 01010011 01001100 01000001 01010100 01000101 01000100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01001001 01010011 00101100 00100000 01010111 01001000 01011001 00100000 01000001 01010010 01000101 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100000 01010011 01010100 01010101 01010000 01001001 01000100 00100000 01000100 01001111 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100000 01001000 01000001 01010110 01000101 00100000 01001100 01001111 01000001 01000100 01010011 00100000 01001111 01000110 00100000 01010100 01001001 01001101 01000101 00100000 01001111 01001110 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 01010010 00100000 01001000 01000001 01001110 01000100 01010011 00100000 01001111 01010010 00100000 01010011 01001111 01001101 01010100 01001000 01001001 01001110 01000111 00101100 00100000 01010011 01010100 01000001 01010010 01010100 00100000 01000100 01001111 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 01010010 00100000 01001000 01001111 01001101 01000101 01010111 01001111 01010010 01001011 00100000 01001111 01010010 00100000 01000111 01000101 01010100 00100000 01000001 00100000 01001010 01001111 01000010 00100001 – DO NOT TRANSLATE THIS!!!
So if this is not included in the terms, nobody has a problem with me developing such stuff? Wait, I must have an old copy of MS DOS 3.22 lying around somewhere, that does not have this is the EULA.
Yay for nukes.
How can we use iTunes for biological weapons?
Use for gathering fungi like ”The Pied Piper of Hamelin”？？？
What are you talking about? That’s epic win right there!
…also, that IS a bit old…
This was funnier when Maddox pointed it out over two years ago.
Indeed. Just what I was going to say, all you losers. http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=macs_cant
yes, yes it was
Yes, yes it was.
Itunes could be used…to build… *reads it for a third time*
I really have to start reading this agreements more thoroughly.
(morning all)
Did that shatter your plans for the weekend?
(Morning!)
*sighs and puts away his Uranium*
I don’t want my Itunes to get voided… *listens to his I-pod and cries a little bit*
I think you've got it backward, it's iPod, not I-pod. And iTunes, not Itunes.*fails*
I have terrible “attention to detail” skills.
Good mornin’, the man & the shades.
morning Mal. Coffee?
Yes please!
*hands Mal a hot mug of coffee* Salute!
*emerges from shadows*
Morning! Say, did you know you powered a video that's on Fail Blog's Youtube channel?*returns to shadows*
Hahahah nope! Really?
I think it was the crucifixion fail.Thank you! I’ll have to check it out when I get home!
Lots of hilarious comments in here. But most people seem to be unaware of the technology in use in lots of military equipment. I can think of more than a few western countries defended by fighter aircraft powered by intel 80286 processors. Yep, that’s right, the 80286 that hasn’t existed in the business world for years still power a lot of military hardware…
It’s a good thing then that people have to agree to not trying that. That will stop them!
well.. it seems like u know about it… can u sent me some manuals to create that missile .. i wanna blow a guys house …i hate that one he really deserves it. thanx and good morning =)
I really thought you said “i wanna blow a guys horse.”
Can you send me two missiles?
well…its all up to krist… he’s the one who owns the manuals to do that…………………….. a guys horse………. –stares at the sky–
er, if you want Horse erotica, that’s a few fails back.
So much for that podcast I was developing.
No “Development, Design, Manufacture and Production of Missiles, Nuclear, Chemical and Biological Weapon Sunshine Happy Bikini Blonde Variety Hour” for you!
This prevents users from downloading mp3 instructions for massive destruction weapons assembly
I remember this yes. This was such an awesome joke back then.
YOU READ THAT SHIT?! LOL
So my nuclear missiles are going to have to broadcast music from CD’s??? But what about the skipping?
OK. iTunes reiterates the greatest FAILure of the Bush administration by parodying the likelihood or capability of anyone to produce WMD’s through even the most absurd of possible means?
That’s a WIN! WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN!
Sorry for the serious comment, but really now. Really?
All of you: *ashamed*
This is not a Fail.
It’s another example of someone who is unclear on the concept trying to be funny.
THAT, really, is the Fail.
I guess nobody will be developing the iBomb, iMissile, or iVirus anytime soon.
I think you’ll find that Osama Bin Laden is a big Jimi Hendrix fan- when he’s making those bombs, he has him on the full blast. The others are always asking him to put his headphones in…
Did you really read all the agreement? You Fail!
I would be intrigued to know how the HTF one could make bombs with iTunes! :S
No Anthrax records.
Being thorough win!
They aren’t consider about anyone making a bomb. They just don’t want someone else to beat them to the iBomb.
consider = concerned
don’t really know what happened to my brain at that moment
That song tells how to make an atom bomb. XP
Meh. Everybody knows about this Itunes thing already
why did u call urself poophead?
Now that I know I can’t, I want to build a WMD from an Ipod.
… Rofl.
damn, no wonder bush didn’t find any WOMD, it was that stack of iPods
who actually reads the license agreements?
Guess they don’t expect anyone to actually READ the terms and conditions of anything. They probably put it in to see if anyone was actually reading it to notice it.
there’s just no way…
A lot of people are missing the point. Apple’s music products double as storage devices, are easily transportable without security personnel questionning the user, and espionage is easily possible with such technology. This clause merely gives apple protection from being sued into a crater if someone uses it to transport schematics to other countries…and allows law enforcement to act against you if you are.
It’s legal stuff…it’s not meant to apply to every situation or user.
North korean I-tunes plox?
I’m going to guess that the only reason this would ever cross their minds was that someone tried this…
Send lawyers, guns and money, the $#it has hit the fan…
The most baffling aspect of this clause is that someone apparently found it necessary to clarify that making NBC weapons is, in fact, illegal in the US.
lmao
sorry to break it to you all, but you can make a bomb using an iPod as a trigger
Maybe they want their missiles to be musical?
I believe if someone really wanted to create nuclear missiles with itunes… *snicker snicker*…. they really wouldnt care about breaking the agreement with itunes. I mean really, how do you attack someone with a music bomb… Hold on a sec, some music would want you to rip your hair out…yeah i could see itunes covering their butts here.
is your last name watson?
Seriously, this is super old. I remember seeing this like 2 years ago, it’s not just iTunes 8. And it isn’t fail, it is possible for iTunes to be used for what is stated in the license.
Kim Jong Il has an IPOD, get him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow – I wish I had fully read that agreement before using my iPod to make a nuclear missile. Now I have a choice – give up my iPod or give up my Nuke. Hummmm nuke-iPod, nuke-iPod.
Of course if I nuke the lawyers, then I can keep both
I think apple was working with the US army.Making processors for the Americans that’s why there are such restrictions at the license agreement.
LOL
Thank you, Apple, for preventing a likely horrible circumstance. . . Even though this means that nuclear weapons are gonna run Windows and all fail horribly, not limited to accidental self destruction.
Plz if iTunes or Quicktime were ever attempted to be used by that it’ll probably crash ur PC or bring it to a standstill b4 u ever achieve anything.
I love this part! It drives my family nuts that whenever I download iTunes, I hunt for this section and gleefully read it aloud.
That is a definite win
Lol, the funniest part was that the person who sent this appeared to not accept the TOS.
Dayum.
I sure wish I hadn’t accepted those agreements…. looool
wow i cant believe this guy spent that much time to read all of the terms of service!!! to me that guy is a failure with no time on his hands!!!
Maddox already did this.
If I want to make nukes with iTunes then I will, fascists!
ok lolz!!!! that’s a serious epic fail!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol
lol
and don’t go to turbosquid eithe…same terms apply.
So I can’t listen to iTunes when I’m working at Boeing
Lol. I also saw that in the Safari+Quicktime installer and thought it was absurd. Glad to see it here.
I guess they realized noone actually reads it and decided to have some fun
lol nuclear weapons
weapons…….phh
Also appeared on many other EULAs
I wouldn’t want to control my nuclear missiles with iTunes.
The damn thing would turn around and go for ME. iTunes always targets me and flings crap at me.
Yes, Nuke Iraq with some of Ashlee Simpson, we would win for sure.
The heading is a fail. It should say “United States Fail”
This is the ultimate proof that Apple is not an evil company… unlike MS.
man i was gonna do those things
Rip from Maddox.
More like Austin N has never heard of a easter egg/joke fail. Did someone really think this was serious?
OMFG!!!!
Actually the TOS makes sense, if you think about this…
Podcasts. If some idiot makes a podcast of say… the Anarchists Cookbook, apple isn’t liable for it because of the TOS.
God this makes Itunes illegal in China :S
way to go apple!! You just banned 2 billion people from your store!
aw man now i can´t build a nuke because of itunes??? dammit :/
Many software EULAs have a similar clause. This is because such software contains encryption mechanisms which could theoretically be used to “secure” sensitive code. Recall that the PS2 was not allowed to be shipped to certain countries for some time due to a similar situation.
Micro$oft have something similar in their standard EULA as well, its not just apple.
Aww, and here I was gonna install iTunes on my homemade missile and have it loop Final Countdown by Europe over and over.
Not a fail – standard language to comply with US export control laws.
What about making cheese. It doesn’t say that we can’t manufacture cheese, right? SCORE!!
#66
@thephantombloggerstrikes
Cheese WIN!
Someone’s about to get fired.
Wow, someone actually reads those? Nice catch!
Clearly photoshoped, but damn, you gotta say that it’s hilarious xD
You right Theredfox8. Guess because nobody reads it, so they can put whatever they want, we will agree with that anyway.
Careful to not sell your soul in one of those..lol
I think this new term is because i guess the playstation 3 has a computer in it powerful enough that can launch a nuke and now with new technology apple aint taking any chances
Btw iNuke (lol)
Apple will start selling the iMissle soon
Thank you for your post
dude who the f*** reads those?? god that would make my head fry
La madre ke nadie habla español aki ?
jajaja ta rudo ese FAIL nunka habria tenido el ocio de leer eso como para darme cuenta XD
I’d like to see someone try that. Use Slipknot to blow someone’s head off or something. lmao
AHH SHIT! cant use iTunes to make nuclear weapons damnit!! needa start over….
Dammit! there goes my plan for world domination….. well theres always Microsoft paint! bwahahahaha
Whut?
Who is that statement for, V?
OOPS! I hope they arent on to me yet…
Hey, if you could program I’ll Watch You Die into a nuclear weapon so that it plays before it blows up, that would be epic.
can’t fight the law, the law knows, huh?
SRSLY i just read the itunes contract! it rlly does say that o_O
I found another one in itunes 9 update XD says
“Without limiting the foregoing, under no circumstances shall 3Com be held liable for any delay or failure in performance resulting directly or indirectly from acts of nature, forces, or causes beyond its reasonable control, including, without limitation, Internet failures, computer equipment failures, telecommunication equipment failures, other equipment failures, electrical power failures, strikes, labor disputes, riots, insurrections, civil disturbances, shortages of labor or materials, fires, floods, storms, explosions, acts of God, war, governmental actions, orders of domestic or foreign courts or tribunals, non-performance of third parties, or loss of or fluctuations in heat, light, or air conditioning.”
XD i got a picture and but it on here
Aw man. I was hoping if I really tried, I could use “Irreplaceble” to help me build the ultimate doomsday device
omg 6666 votes O_O
But it’s OK to set up your iPod to launch the missile?