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Cheezburger Company Blog
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SHAZZAM!!
+9 points for WN!
.
*SQUEEZE*
*goes into fabulous break dance routine on top of desk*
They really hit that one on the head.
*Sings Headlong*
Nailed it.
Didn’t screw it up.
I'll bet they're both hammeredThey need to drill more.
Awl, I hope they’re OK.
It’s a gut wrenching story.
I didn’t have the sound on when I watched it, but I understand the videotaper has a bit part?
A slow motion laugh.That’s just plane awful.
They got some bad ad-vise when setting up this routine.
We’ll if MRN sawz-all of it they would understand.
Can I axe a question?
I would l(o)athe to be in their position.
I’m sure I can scrap(per) an answer together for you.
Is this fail funny enough to become one of our staples in the future?
We will have to file it.True, it’s too soon to gauge how funny it will be later.
Just dont rule(r) it out.
That augger do it.
Yep. Th(adze) enough.
We need to clamp down on extraneous postings – we’ve hit 300+ already!
Yeah, my router can’t take it anymore.
Yeah, what a grind.
Just brace it.
*throws in the trowel*
*prepares a slurry for the lap*
read the comment at the end ;o
Headbanging redefined!!!
what happens when asians try to be cool
Lookit that Yotkenator go!
*accompanies WN*
GO NELLIE, GO NELLIE! BREAK IT DOWN, NOW!
*gets down wif his bad self*
Wow. You are incredibly flexible!
Not to mention the luckiest man on earth.
Would make a good gif….but you need to capture the laugh!!
Top 10 Gif Girls
*tosses spam in the trash*
*SQUEEZES Velvet*
How’s your day?
@WN What are you when you aren’t a chess pro?
Funny you should ask, aiki…
I fell out of my chair laughing. Nice. When your body isn’t zipping at mach speeds, your mind is racing for the next move.
Man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do…
How does Olympic sword swallowing? How does that work, and what happens when you mess up?
You get the bronse metal.
Grasshopper, one must be very, very careful to never find out.
Yes Master, I understand.
*Goes to try sword swallowing with miniature knives*
Would you like to see some?*looks around*
*whispers*
Psst… follow me!
*follows unseen in the the shadows*
*gets out pocket DVD player, presses play*
[close up screen shot of samurai being baconlubed]
Got any more like this?
Oh, of course.*pulls out Nunchucks and worms in the rear, Ninjas not wankiing on the job, and personal favorite
Ninja Party Boat.Oops, put the wrong text effect on the last one.*hands Blog Ninja/Monster a 50*
Same time next week?
Sure thing, I'll make I've got some good ones for you. Now let's get out of here before anyone else wants some.*pulls out the broadswords*
Now that I am warmed up…
It’s getting better each day this week. The antibiotics are finally kicking in for my bronchitis. I’m sorting a bunch of records for a product liability claim at a company that changed ownership FOUR TIMES over the last 4 years. This should be fun.
.
Oh, and the water keeps getting turned off and on and off and on by the PSA.
.
How’s your week been?
Not nearly as hectic as yours sounds. Some small things to take care of but in general they have been easy… just time consuming.
WOPBAMBOOM!
MAZZAHS!!!
Judy, you’re looking more Springtime Fresh™ every day!
Is the flower avatar showing up here? It did at home. But here at work, I’m still the little house.
Flowers, I see flowers.
I see dead people…
They’re pushing up daisies.
And to think of it, last night I was watching the Sixth Sense…
“You humans and your six senses.”
“What now?”
“No, it’s cute. We have eight.”
“Thousand.”
“Thousand.”
We hate those damned yellow flowers so we’re trying to give them back to you living folk. You can have them.
We hate those blasted yellow flower thingies, so we’re trying to give them back to you living folks. That’s why we’re pushing them back up!
With multiple posts not showing up, even after a repeated attempt, I’m starting to think this site is messing with me. Watch, you’ll all see all my posts (even the repeat), even though I don’t.
.
This wouldn’t be a problem if a dead person designed this site, instead of one of you insufferable living folks.
Did you guys here anything?
No? Me, neither.
Must have been the wind.
I heard some dust in the wind. I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Judy.
I guess we should follow this yellow brick road.
…where the dogs of society howl ♪
*watches as wayward sons carry on*
* Watches vultures circle wayward sons, waiting for carrion. *
*Toto-lly likes how this is turning out*
*puts garland around Dragon’s neck and smooches*
*hours later, notices the typo*
“here” anything?
*aaarrrrgggghhhhh!*
*slinks away in shame*
…I guess it would be heartless to bring out the bukkit here, then.
It would, but I deserve it.
*kersplunk*
Ewwwww, lima beans.
Ugh.
Yup… Showing up nice and purdy like.
“Nice” I can understand, but “purdy”?
How about “prudy?”
As in she’s got a nice disposition and a purdy mouth.
An American wester sterotype and massacred way of saying pretty; You’re purdy lookin.
Generally used as a creepy statement or with a very Tex Western drawl like old west moves.
Or in the course of normal conversation by all the hicks who come into my store…
Would that put you in a Tex Western-ish locale then, RushFan?
He’s tired of them all coming in and asking if he has worms in the rear.
And homemade condoms up front.
Mid-Michigan. Does that count?
I'd say that's close enough.Eh… Not really. But hick definitely fits.
*Making certain no one is offended*
No one will be if they’re familiar with the area. Up here you the gangstas pimp their pickups and they all carry Winchesters instead of Glocks.
Removes superfluous “you” and saves for later.
A syndicated columnist from Lewiston Idaho (northern part of the state, hi WN!) frequently used the term “Lewiston Limousine”. It meant a dented-up old pickup with a gun rack.
I prefer the “Detroit Bankroll” – a twenty wrapped aound a bundle of ones.
*takes offense, but no one notices … or cares*
It’s not easy being dead …
*notices*
But zombies like warmer climates don’t they?
climates?
*looks quite confused*
The warmer the temperature, the faster the decay.
The colder the temperature, the stiffer the limbs.
Either way, zombies have it rough!
Makes me proud ta be a Murkin.
Is there any profession you don’t do?
I don’t believe he’s ever been a Pet Psychologist. Or a professional coffee taster.
Only the icky ones. I made an exception for part-time slum lord. I was writing a book.
“Yet”, Brewski. You forgot to add “yet”.
*bows to Judy*
*curtsies to WN*
*surprised that WN is still a Starship Captain*
You’re turning this one into a long career!
No, that’s a win, they broke something…
Throughout the second four-and-a-half months, Sound rules as solitary Queen of our senses: the close and liquid world of uterine darkness makes Sight and Smell impossible, Taste monochromatic, and Touch a dim and generalised hint of what is to come.
Birth brings with it the sudden and simultaneous ignition of the other four senses, and an intense competition for the throne the Sound has claimed as hers. The most notable pretender is the darting and insistent Sight, who dubs himself King as if the throne had been standing vacant, waiting for him
sorry about the copy/paste, all very true though.
And I’m sure that’s exactly what went through the head of the boy on the left, right after he split skulls with his bud.
I have virtually no doubt.
back to the dissertation again.
*drags feet in the direction of boredom*
And why the copy – paste?
To make us feel the pain he’s feeling right now.
Why else? To be FISRT!!1!!!!
Yet he still failed at being FISRT!
.
*pinch*
Ouch. I just got pinched. Pardon my noob-ness, but is that good or bad??
Depends on your point of view…
From my perspective, it’s a good thing, along with squeezes. Facepalms, fooms, and earflicks are not.
HEY!
*pouts*
Now what did I do?!?
.
Sheesh. I just can’t win this week.
My *FOOOOM!!*s aren’t bad! I only use them to clear out the trolls.
And light birthday cakes.
Okay, so sometimes BFF accidenty stands in front of me when I sneeze, but he should know better by now.
…And there was that time I set RogueThree on fire….
Nevermind.
*slinks away*
Ok, so you agree. If someone gets FOOM’ed, it’s not a cuddly thing.
.
*skitters off in search of lemonade*
But I thought it was a good thing for US….
Of course it’s a good thing, Dragon! Here, have a cookie.
Wait, where’d the cookies go?
Indeed it is; but not for the FOOMed.
I have learnt two important lessons from DW, though: Never stand in front of a sneezing or yawning dragon.
It’s okay, Velvet. FOOMS are GOOD, because Dragon only FOOMS malicious people. Brewski has nothing to fear.
*SQUEEZE*
I refreshed, but I didn’t notice the 300 comment odometer.
*feels better about being pinched*
*also wonders why Dragon is pouting*
I seem to recall Brewski getting a lot of stuff pinched yesterday.
*steals a smooch*
*returns Brewski’s hat*
.
Forgot I still had that. Sorry!
Oh, yeah, here’s your shirt, Brewski.
I feel whole again!
And a bit warmer.
Admiral, I dunno if Dragon’s gonna like you smooching Brewski.
But hey, we’re all family here
Had he replied to Brewski, I might have raised an eyebrow.
As it is…you can’t steal something I’d give you willingly anyway!
*ker-SMOOOCH-ahs the Admiral*
That lifted my spirit, and in the nick of time, too. *grin*
*grabs the Admiral by the front of the shirt*
*SMOOCHITY-SMOOCHITY-SMOOCHY-SMOOCH!!!*
…Need anything else lifted?
Hee! Everything is looking up now…
Here, ya want this duct tape? I still have figured this stuff out yet.
Hee! You can keep that roll, Judy. Dragon procured a lifetime supply.
I must say it raised my eyebrows, until I examined the threads a little more carefully!!
Oops, refresh fail.
Woah, what the heck are AA and Dragon doing?!?!
*slinks away, embarrassed*
Tonight we can try out the new sparkly duct tape!
…And it seems we’ve raised a few questions.
*wicked grin*
I can’t wait for the debriefing!
*cunning grin*
Erm…does that mean I have to put ON briefs first??
*naughty grin*
(And yes…I saw what you did there!)
After careful examination, I think we should be confined to quarters.
*arresting smile*
And just in case you had any thoughts of escaping…
*holds up handcuffs*
*quicksilver smile*
Here, let me take the heat off you…
*places ice cube on tongue, squeezes with lips*
*melting smile*
At least you didn’t get tapped. That one still hurts…
very true, very true indeed.
*squeeze*
why not?
*squeezes back*
You know, I agree. Sound still rules my senses.
Headbanging: you’re doing it wrong.
They got it goin’ on.
That’s what happens when you try to mix rock and break dance.
Breaking rocks?
RushFan, we were afraid yesterday that you had perhaps flown by night away from here; changed your life again.
He went to gravatar to get his cube fixed.
Finals week – I need my Time to Stand Still, but I’m a Workin’ Man, so I guess I’m just doing the Best I Can.
Sounds like you have Grace Under Pressure. But at least you had a Distant Early Warning.
Yeah, but now I have all these Afterimages to deal with. Ah well, I suppose it’s just the counterpart to being done with my projects.
*wishes she knew some Rush songs so she could play, too*
Hey, album titles are fair game too. In retrospective, it all depends on how you roll the bones.
I’m not sure but I think there is around 2112 ways to respond. Tom Sawyer would know better though.
Now we’re getting into the main monkey business. I’m gonna take a passage to Bangkok in my red Barchetta.
The problem is The Trees are in the way. But I guess you would be in the Limelight then.
That’s the price for having Freewill, but at least I won’t have to cross Hemispheres.
Just make certain that you don’t end up Between The Wheels or we’ll have to play an Overture for you.
All I want is to be buried in my Kid Gloves in the Temple of Syrinx. That, and shed Tears over my tragic Circumstances.
I’ll write you an Anthem that is full of Bravado.
Could you get me a nice wig, too? I Think I’m Going Bald. Better yet, you could hire a Necromancer to ressurect me and I could get it myself.
I’ll tell you some Open Secrets that have been passed down since Bastille Day. The Necromancers only come in Force (of) Ten, but they only do stuff at Lakeside Park.
Hmmm…. the Temple of Syrinx is Closer To My Heart, but I suppose you could be the Prime Mover and reschedule my funeral at Lakeside Park. Just make sure there’s no High Water.
You’ll just Resist dying In The End.
Yeah, I’ve always hoped to retire in La Villa Strangiato, but I’ll settle for Rivendell. They’re both nice Territories.
I’ll just Cut to the Chase. The Chemistry isn’t right in either place.
Well shoot! I was Driven to start a Countdown of the days until I could retire, but I guess I can’t get Something For Nothing.
You didn’t even have a Ghost of a Chance. It was a long shot and a Far Cry to begin with.
You know, you’re a formidable Enemy Within this blog, but my Weapon is enough to give my the One Little Victory I need to score The Big Money.
We’ve certainly had quite the Marathon here. I’ve done the Best I Can, but I just seem to be chasing your AfterImage.
*Applauds*
For What It’s Worth, I think you both did wonderfully in that Marathon effort.
Well, next week you’ll be able to Fly By Night away from here…
*sees WN beat him to this one earlier*
*facepalm*
Este es el mejor y más sexy primer puesto nunca!
No se odia – verme y me QUIERE!
I thought sexy in Spanish was guapo?
I liked the comment that this fail is powered by. So true.
I feel sightly insulted by the ‘power by’
Is this because it applies to you?
Most people (except the firsters) let their initial comment be about the fail. After that, it’s wide open.
.
Peace out.
Hey, wha ’bout me?!?
I’m with WN. The fail seems jst like an incidental funny next to the comments.
Well, it certainly doesn’t apply to YOU.
Never said it did. I’m not funny at all. =] Was just asking a question.
I guess I just effectively made myself ‘that ass hole’ that no one that comments on failblog likes… so I’ll be going now. ttyl all.
No need to be defensive, nobody said that.
Er. . . I did. . . sorry.
Hey, I know this awesome joke, uh, lessee, a nun and a cowboy are in a bar, and… wait, it’s a lawyer and a cowboy. I think. And anyways, the bartender asks, “what’ll you have?” And then… um… well, I forgot the punchline, but it was really funny! Hahahaha!!
Heehee! Wait...what? I don't get it.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!
*gasps for air*
Someone call an ambulance! WN is down, I repeat, WN is down!
Call Oprah! She’s full of all kinds of extra air!
I’ll get Rush Limbaugh as well!
Score!
Red Card!*turns on a news channel to counteract WN’s glee*
C-SPAN is better…
*starts CPR and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.*
*envies WN*
WHEW!!
OK, I better now.
*slides WN an ‘m*
He mighta had brain damage from being oxygen deprived. . .
This is true.
no no no – no ‘m’ needed – I better alla way around
Quick! Who has a vaccine for ICHC syndrome?!?!?!?
Tosses Ms B a copy of “The Fountainhead.”
*reads Fountainhead PLUS Atlas Shrugged in a single sitting*
*observes that with proper oxygenation and a healthy literary diet ones grammar, language, and punctuation are markedly better*
I call Objectivism!
haha i love all you guys. you make my days so much brighter
Best
.
.
Joke
.
.
EVER!!!
YOu’re the funniest on FAILBLOG!
Are my comments funny?
I’m not sure. I don’t read the comments as much as I should.
Ah. I don’t try to be funny. If I am, great. I just like the company and reading other people’s comments.
I think that’s why we’re all here. That, and the cookies.
I like it here. I’ve adopted everyone as my new family.
Me too, which is good, because since I’ve started posting here my original family has pretty much given up on me.
Hee!
I’m going to start a FB rehab clinic. If we fail enough times, we’ll make it as a blog picture.
Oooops…
Well, I hope you guys are in a funny mood, because I already ate all the cookies.
What?! I was really looking forward to those!
I know and they were supposed to be mine.
*Tries a GLOWER… fails*
* mumbles to self*
I have no clue how she does that
Once I get my space ship fixed up, I hereby officially propose that the FAILblog Family™ move to a distant planet.
I suggest the planet Tequila, but we can vote on it right before we leave.
As long as there’s no earworm at the bottom, we’ll all agree!
I’l come sail away with you, but what about Margaritaviille? That’s as good as Planet Tequila…
There’s a Margaritaville at one of the casinos here in Connecticut – looks kinda hokey, touristy and noisy to me.
You just described every casino I’ve ever seen… I’m talking PLANET Margaritaville.
Planet Tequila is located in the Margaritaville nebula.
Margaritaville is a city on Tequila.
You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Those aren’t the drinks you’re looking for.
These aren’t the drinks I’m looking for.
Move along…
Aka no wakita, Solo. Hohohoho.
Salty bastards indeed.
Grannycatflap should feel right at home!
LOL!! I speck so!
Cookies?!
Where?
*hands three cookies to aiki*
You can have these now, but the rest are for the trip to Planet Tequila.
Um…
*dusts crumbs off of shirt*
*ducks behind WN*
Awww… Dragon those were my cookies.
*hides cookies from Dragon*
How did you find those?!?! I had them hidden real good! Or so I thought… Never underestimate the power of a dragon to sniff out the goods.
I’m sowwy!!!
I’se a hungry dragon.
And I have a sweet tooth.
And very poor impulse control.
I somehow seem to have come into possesion of three dozen Snickerdoodles.
Want some? Help your-self.
A new hero emerges.
*Grabs all the cookies*
*bats eyes at aiki*
Share?
Of course.
*hands a generous amount of cookies with Ms. B*
Nummers!
Thank you!
Anytime!
Hey! That’s FUNNY!
*tries to be the funniets person on the comments*
*switches the t and the s* laughs heartily.*
*combines a snort, a giggle, and a snicker whilst sipping tequila*
ooh! care to share WN?
*hands WIK a shot o’ Cabo Wabo*
Why, thank you WN! why are we always drinking together around here?
*bottoms up* (and I mean the glass)
To make the fat guys look better?
Yes! that’s it. I’ll just keep drinking till I want him, this could take a while.
Woot! Reposado or Anejo, WN?
Reposado – with salt and a slice o’ lime
A sniggler?
Shouldn’t we be working insteas of getting drunk Nellie?
Why set precedents we can’t keep?
Oh oh Ahh ahh oh, Oh oh Ah Oh. Oh oh ahh ah oh, the right stuff.
Oh, check out the new kid on the block.
This turned out to be a slow starting earworm for me. Now it’s stuck!
*hands Mrs B a carnivorous earwig*
This should clear that up. *runs*
Ugh! I just had a flashback to that scene in “Star Trek – The Wrath of Khan” – if you’ve seen it, you know what scene I mean.
*shudders*
Yuk. That scene grossed me out.
I myself am a sucker for a joke about battling the rancor. Never gets old. (knows this is Star Wars not Star Trek)
… or a joke about Jim Raynor (knows this is StarCraft not Star Wars)
Or Jack O’Neil……(Stargate? anyone?)
I’m sure we can McGyver together some O’Neil jokes for you!
*Thinks about McGyver tool kit from previous fail*….(paperclip)
But Kurt Russel is the shit.
Mmmmm, James Spader in the original Stargate movie….
*dreams*
James Spader is a horses ass. Trust me.
I can never get through the movie…I keep falling asleep. But I love the show.
Avis – in Boston Legal or anything else, I agree. But I thought he was yummy in Stargate!
I would ask who James Spader is, but after being “let me google that’d” 5 times this week i will digress and…..google it.
Aaahhh…nice to see you can learn from experience.
And James Spader = EEWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Throw in some romance and Karen Allen and you’ve got a good alien move (knows this is Starman, not …)
Throw in some John Travolta and you have ………….the worst movie ever.
(BattleSTAR Gallactica that is)
Any movie is better with a good cuppa coffe (knows this is Starbucks, not…)
(anf BTW, worst movie ever? Have you seen Plan 9 From Outer Space?)
*and….. a bukkit
Glen or Glenda is really bad.
Hah! Another “great” Ed Wood film!
“Only the infinity of the depths of a man’s mind can really tell the story. “
According to the AFI Glen or Glenda is the worst fil of all time. The movie about Ed Wood with johny depp is quite amusing though.
*doesn’t remember John Travolta being in Battlestar Gallactica, but has only seen the movie and series of old, not the newer version*
Damn I though nobody would notice. ……switched with “Battlefield Earth” by accident.
I think they were punning on Battlefield Earth.
I ♥ Plan 9 from Outer Space. That movie makes me laugh.
Future events such as these, will affect you in the future!
(I misplaced a comma somewhere, sorry.)
*watches as hubcaps wobble on strings*
*watches pilots fly without controls*
Soooo… you replaced an earworm with an “eyeworm” ?
Earwig*, with hopes that it will stop after it kills the earworm and not burrow into her brain.
*hopes with sofaking*
I had to read that twice to get it. HAHAHA!
Foot loose, foot loose, kick off your sunday shoes!
So does that mean the second time was a blast?
I can see it in your walk, tell it in your talk…
Show what you do
make a break, make a move.
Reminds me of one of those desk toys, the one that you see in movies one the CEO’s desk.
Physics demonstration win?
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. In this case, maniacal laughter.
The reaction to the last fail was mass orgies and mayhem in the comments. Thankfully, that hasn’t happened this time.
Er, yet. Uh oh.
Here I am!!
The thing with the five metal balls that swing back and forth?
Headbutt win!
It's like they were magnetized.North Korea and South Korea?
Are you think of the Demagnetized Zone in the middle?
Hilarious!!
*kicks self for not coming up with that first*
Hey!
Sorry about that.
Now if they could only make it nuclear-proof…
Four thumbs up.
They made their own ROFLcopter.
SOI SOI SOI SOI!
Oi. I ain’t touching that one…
Wow! Over 50 comments in under 8 minutes! People need to get to work!Tomorrow is the first of the month. Most of us will be busy then. Today is the end of the month. Not much going on.
And we’ll be busy doing what?
Hey Velvet, what date is it where you are?
Never mind. Date realization fail.
Don’t mess with my head like that! I started to panic that there was more than one more day to this week!
.
Jason, we’ll be busy closing out April and starting up May. Financials, that is.
Hmmm… My weeks generally have seven days. Where can I get one-day weeks? I hate waiting for the weekend!
Monday through Friday I’m in what they call an office, which is really Hell with fluorescent lighting. Saturday & Sunday are mine! I can sleep in til 6:30am instead of getting up at 5am.
6:30 is sleeping in?!? Good Lord. 7:00 is murder for me! Of course, I don’t get to bed until 1:30 in the morning….
It’s International Worker’s Day, so everyone is having the day off.
Kind of like Labor Day, the Day of No Labor?
Not in the US. For some reason we have “labor day” on a different day.
I already knew that…which means we’ll be less busy. Or busier sleeping and doing other stuff in our bed. :/
Why is it filmed from a 6-year old girl?
Why not?
Because.
Is not a reason.
If we put our heads together, maybe we can figure this out!
*Klunk!*
*KERKLUNK*
*Spelunks*
*conscious of smelling like meat puts her head together with the others* What’s the plan?
I was thinking maybe we could treat some criminally insane people humanely – whaddaya think?
Nah – it’d never work – never mind.
What an Evil laugh..
That was the funniest part to me. No “are you okay?” at all. Cameragirl WIN!
Another instance of white people ruining everything.
They don’t look very white to me…
^Bigot fail.
Hey, we didn’t invent break dancing. We just enslaved and oppressed the people who did, so don’t blame this fail on whitey.
Woooow! What did I just walk into?
Variable ‘white’ is undeclared.
Another instance of white people ruining everything = false
Another instance of people ruining everything = true
char bigot(void)
*lights match*
*redirects all bigoted comments to /dev/null *
Not lying, but my browser messed up a bit and write after this comment I saw a big black box swallowing up at least two following comments. I thought you did major hax!
heh heh
Can I borrow your matches Nellie?
If variable ‘white’ is undeclared, then
new PeopleRuiningEverything(white)
is a compile error.
Does not exist but has been added to dataset.
(old IBM assembler error)
Card reader failed.
(Jacquard loom error)
Astrolabe is bent – Abort, Retry, Wander aimlessly?
File not found.
(Rounding Error)
Look closer El Duende…I believe they are Asian. But who cares? Don’t spread hate.
Twins! HAWT.
Spins! NAWT.
I am officially challenging Avis to a glaring contest.
I’ll officiate… but I would warn you…
I know that I should and I would if I could but I can’t so I won’t.
I’ll bring the popcorn and sunglasses.
*puts sunglasses on and watches*
*watches from slow moving passing train*
*GLOWERS* and LEILA starts to smolder around the edges.
The glasses Emperor made are specifically not GLOWER proof, he did that on purpose.
*puts on fully glower and glare suit*
Ouch… still hot.
And Avis takes the lead. This might be over soon if Leila doesn’t have a good strategy.
She appears to have adopted the 'no response' strategy.Hey guys what did I miss… AHH MY EYES!!!!
*collapses into a vat of bacon lube*
Poor Malicite! Is there a doctor in the house?
Actually, you're the one in there now.Oh, you only ‘thought’ I was in there.
*regenerates* HA! You try again. *hoping WN would offer Avis liquor*
Um, Leila, while impartial as a judge, I can tell you that Avis gave your her lowest setting.
And never forget, contestants, that alcohol is FLAMMABLE in a hot glare/glower!
*drops drink*
Oh my go- FIRE!!! FIRE!!!
*runs around in circles with arms in the air*
aiki, little help please? Don’t hoard all those fire extinguishers…
*pushes LEILA into the vat of Baconlube and continues to GLOWER at her*
LEILA, LEILA...what have you gotten yourself into?Shhh…don’t worry about me. Making out with the pig in Mexico and contracting the flu has made me immune to all that can harm me. Even BaconLube and Avis Glares.
*wonders if BaconLube is flammable*
Guess we’re gonna find out.
*Pulls out fire extinguishers and places around himself*
Leila might think she is immune but I’m not!
Hey! it’s the missing fire extinguishers! Aiki had them!
Sorry? After my first encounter with your glower I figured I wight need them.
How on EARTH did you get your M upside-down like that???
GREAT OBSERVATION, D!!!
Can’t put nuthin’ past the Perfesser!
*Glowers back at Avis while filing her nails and putting on mascara* TAKE THAT!!!
*yawns*
Pffft, that wouldn’t melt butter!
*takes a break to do some strategery (George Bush’s own word) on how to defeat Avis once and for all*
Have fun with that!
Can you actually GLOWER while messing with mascara? Seems counter productive.
Um…just how impartial a judge are you aikiwaza?
Very impartial. Just impressed. I can’t even glower right let alone do it while putting on make up. Now don’t let me stop you two…
*wonders why LEILA has that funny look on her face*
Something in your eye? That always sucks.
No. I’m ok. *glares at Avis and it sends her clear into next week. Thursday May 7th, 7:31AM MTS*
-
*admits only weaknes is a slow processor*
Get a Mac! Hah!!!
And Parallels! HEH!!!
GET A MAC!!!!! Are you insane???? *runs around room not knowing what to do with herself* Tell me you didn’t mean that MRN! Lie to me if you have to.
Lie to you if I have to? OK, I didn’t mean it.
*hasn’t moved*
I think your glare (sooooo not a GLOWER) backfired on you.
I officially called the contest down below.
The rematch is scheduled for tomorrow.
Can we do it on Tuesday? I have house guests, they needed to sleep when they got here (their bus left at midnight and arrived at 6am) , but this weekend is gonna be busy.
Okay. The re-scheduled match will be on Tuesday.
Have fun till then.
* Notices that no one asked LEILA if that’s OK with her… *
Not trying to be difficult but Tuesday is no good for me.
So when?
Okay…. When works for you?
How’s Wednesday?
Let’s see *opens calendar and mumbles to herself, Tues is day at the spa, Wed tennis classes w Umberto, Thur…nope – helping poor defenseless animals, Fri = fun day, weekend NO good, um…aha* How about Wed 5/13 at 2pm MST?
Let me know when, I’ve got to go wake up the guests and play hostess now. Bye al, I’ll try to pop in at least once a day (or night). Have fun storming FailBlog!
We will tentatively say 5/13. We’ll make it a hype too. Food, drinks, etc.
*clears throat*
Bye ALL, not al. I don’t know al.
When you call me, you can call me Al.
Not a great loss; nobody likes him.
*waves at Avis* Bye
Bye, Av!
(Good glowering, btw.)
*pulls Malicite out of vat & puts him next to aiki*
.
*waterhose*
.
There! Do you guys feel better now?
Ah… Thanks. I can never wear enough sunblock when she does that.
I feel like the inside of my brain is suntanned. Thanks velvet!
*sniffs himself*
I smell like breakfast…
You know Dragons gonna come along and FOOM both me and LEILA to cinders, right?
But you are neither Trolls nor birthday candles…
Nah. This is actually quite amusing.
*pushes Avis into Baconlube*
Now let’s see some wrassling!
*pulls Dragon in with*
HAH!
*pulls out video camera and starts recording*
She’s duct taped to me. Your hands are too slippery to pull us both in.
Wanna bet?
*takes spatula, flips Avis over*
*lands on feet, wings out-spread in a graceful pose*
*hands Avis the Dawn detergent*
*takes video tape and tucks it away*
Well there goes all that fun.
Why, thank you!
This was fun!
But but but…Avis and I are in a middle of a GLARE-A-THON!!! Why is everyone messing with that and turning it into an orgy?
I think I have to officially call the Glare-a-Thon event due to uncontrollable circumstances.
Since no person has officially won yet I pronounce Dragon the winner, because if I don’t she will FOOOM me.
aikiwaza, are you chicken?
… or Tofu?
Tiger, but my fur singes easily.
*snork*
Wow… This is sooo HOT!
*grabs aiki, tosses him in the convertible, and speeds off in search of lemonade*
Wheeee!!!! I love these trips with you.
Only you, babe! *smooch*
.
Cuz you’re my…….buddy.
*smooch*
Ah shucks. You sure know how to make a buddy feel special.
I don’t want to be Foomed. Whatever that is…I am too young to get Foomed.
Dragon hasn’t FOOOMed anybody in quite a while!
Ahhh, the good ol’ days…
I have, actually…but they were very bad, irritating people.
NOMNOMNOM
Eeep! Wait a second….
*NOMs himself*
More salt.
*enjoys watching Malicite NOMing himself*
*looks over a Leila and FOOMS her*
*tosses up a t*
I’ve seen you look over a Leila before. Don’t try to hide it.
I am glad it’s not THE Leila rather A Leila. I am FOOM free.
FOOM free, as free as the wind blows
As free as the grass grows
FOOM free to follow your heart. ♫
*sways to the nice FOOM Free melody by MRN*
//
\\
//
\\
Leila is a piece of pasta….
She’s a fusilli?
OH OH OH! Anybody remember Fusilli Jerry!!?!?!??
Don’t sit on Leila!!!
I… I… I didn’t know you could do that Malicite!
Ahem. FOOMS come from the one and ONLY blog Dragon. Now, back to your merriment…
Mine is a Soviet Russia built T-74 FOOMER. Not quite as good as the real thing I must admit.
*levels a look at Malicite*
*raises one eyebrow*
I’ll give you a head start.
*starts counting*
Hoo boy, I can’t wait to see this!!
(run Malicite, run!!)
*gets out chairs for Brewski and I*
*takes out pot of tea and cups*
Sandwich?
Why yes, thank you! So what do you figure for odds? I’m betting on dragon in the first round.
*sips tea*
Well, I always did go for the underdog.
Ten bucks (euros, drachmas, pounds) on Malacite.
I’m betting the Admiral will distract her along the way.
*dusts embers and bits of char from her fingers*
Hmm? What are you guys talking about?
Oo! Sandwiches!
Same here. Malicite may need a trip to the hospital after this.
*bites sandwich*
Argh, it’s a bust! Dragon’s attention span is too short, and Malicite is long gone. Ah well, wait til next year…
OK, what did the ‘brought to you by’ have to do with the fail?
There is irony in that one.
Just give it a steely glare…
… While you play Steely Dan on your WMD-free iPod.
… and, in your other ear, you listen to Eagles of Death Metal…
And then, I believe, your head explodes.
I like how when they hit heads it sounded hollow.
Nothing strange, it’s BREAK dance…that always happens.
And now it’s just broken
*makes quiet exit from Fail Blog due to the rapid accumulation of 300 comments*
I HEARD THAT!
Good, clean fail. The PTC approves.
Once again proving the PTC is okay with violence but not with sexuality.
Now I see why they call it break, instead of just a dance.
Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar!
That’s my que…bye everyone. Taking my break for the rest of the day.
.
Please behave … if you can.
I believe you meant ‘cue’. ‘Que’ is Spanish for ‘what’.
Que?
Yes, that one! Sorry. I didn’t even log off…WTF? Okay, bye again.
Log off fail.
It’s ridiculous how nobody cares about the fail anymore, they just try to be the funniest person on the comments.
Sorry, but I think the mission of majority of the people here is to make other people laugh. It’s not a competition (if it was I lost ages ago…) and the group’s just trying to pass the time with a smile here and an unexpected chuckle here.
While we are on the subject, what does your comment have to do with the fail? Hmmm?
Third here = there.
*high fives Mal and exits*
It’s ridiculous how this guy doesn’t care about the fact that we’re trying to make conversation, anymore.
I guess we should be more like Engrish, where each pic has about 20 comments total. The original post, is, of course, “f*rst” (usually entered at least 20 mins after the pic was posted). Then 5-10 posts explain what the Engrish was trying to say (zzzzz….), and 5-10 posts that reference the theme of the previous pic.
Or, we could all speak in the tongue of ICHC, which is as unlikely as JK Rowling becoming Prime minister of the UK.
Why not? We’ve done worse here in the States.
*snickers*
Conversation…the dead skill of the troll.
It’s ridiculous how people can copy their comments from the actual video and try to pass them off as their own.
VOTE FOR FAIL BLOG
Try to have a thought of your own.
Thinking is so important.
What do you think?
I think we are good people.
I am, therefore I think.
Cogito, ergo nom.
(I think, therefore I’m gonna go eat. TTFN)
those darn asians
*glares with all the rage one is able to muster until Grim melts into a bubbling pool of racism, bigotry and ignorance*
He already was that, sweetie.
This certainly is a pill-grim.
*pops in for a moment*
Let me, GBF.
*GLOWERS at the puddle of Grim*
That ought to do it.
Is it just me, or is the ‘dottohwerg’ really annoying and a fail in itself?
What “dottohwerg”? Who is this mysterious “dottohwerg”? Is he some Scandinavian troll here whom I am unaware of?
Click to vote?
DOTT OHWERG!
and again! – - loved your comment!
You’re so on today, DW!
Have a cupcake (since you ate all the cookies!)
Must be the fever. It just clocked in at 100°.
Cupcakes are good for fever, right?
*munch*
Oh, sorry, sweetie. It’s not the flu, is it? Don’t know about the cupcakes. It’s “feed a cold, starve a fever”
But, I totally believe in the power of chicken soup. Be it homemade, Campbell’s, Cup-a-Soup, whatever. And take something for your fever, too.
Feel better!
Do you need to be spoiled again?
Yes please.
I’m feverish…I hurt…and I still have 16 papers to grade.
*crawls into your arms and buries face against your chest*
Hope you feel better, Dragon.
My girlfriend is sick with a cold. She went to the doctor and somebody had been in the day before who was diagnosed with swine flu. Not to be alarmist, but be careful. *squeeze*
Oops, you aren’t contagious, are you?!
*hugs* I’m sorry you’re sick.
*cradles and soothes*
hey guys,im just in here to be the funniest one around
Synchronization WIN!! ^-^
Like over-ripe melons. XD
Is it just me, or did the writhing around in pain at the end seem exaggerated?
I just hit my head on a low stairway ceiling at my house, not more than 10 minutes ago. Being very tall, this happens more than I care to admit. And so I can safely say, … “NO” it didn’t seem exaggerated!
*considers buying a hardhat*
hahahahaha what a noobs!
ouch!!
Break-your-head dance
LOL! I don’t have any sound but it still looks stupid.
BAKA
X2
tested a really painful
http://www.maseifuori.com
Oh, I heard about this new style of dance. It’s called Break- Heads dancing. Regular Break-Dancing is so last week!
#68
А я так посмотрю, Вы как всегда немногословны
ouch!
Now they’re siamese twins.
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