Submitted by Ziltoid
-
-
Copy & paste this:
« Previous Tan Line Fail | Picture is Unrelated Extra: Balloons are not a substitute for parachutes… Next »
» 404 Failures in Communication
Leave a Reply
Popular FAIL Videos
-
Recent Failures in Communications
Austin Gomez on Dating Fails: Guys Acting Like… J on Poorly Dressed: I knew it! Dis… Austin Gomez on Dating Fails: It’s Like … Katie on School of Fail: Celebrate Blac… Carly on FAIL Nation: Children and Fami… Cuddles the Safety C… on School of Fail: We’re Go… Hector Meza on WIN!: Shadow Art WIN NOD on School of Fail: We’re Go… NOD on School of Fail: We’re Go… NOD on School of Fail: We’re Go… 
Cheezburger Company Blog
Heh Heh HEh Eww
Eww, that is so hot!
…those Germans…
right in the arse!
Pigeon got the joke, everyone!
Disgusting people! Wait what?
Hey i am german!
Is’ ja ekelhaft!
und ich bin mir nicht!
Und ich bin mir nicht? sicher?
WAS?!?
Baumkuchen! Ja das ist gut!
WHEN?!?!?
“I am a jelly donut!”
You know the Germans always make good stuff…
Germans do make some beautiful women!!!
Die armen Hauptschüler!
Tun mir nich leid
Meine wurst ist toll!
Ihr seid ja alle wie irgendwelche kleine unerzogene kinder.
analkanal?
Ich habe mein Hamster in einen Küchenmaschine Unfall verloren
Mein Schwanz ist schwarz.
tu madre.. icanhazgerman too!!!!!!
Wie wir, haben die Pferde auch Schultern, Oberarm-, Unterarmknochen und….sexuelle Bedürfnisse.
In this case you might have said, “Hay! I am German!”
Yes but….
*as the sentence trails off*
When will GCF show up to show us what the proper term for this is in the Urban Dictionary? (Or at least to go “Here, horsey, horsey.”)
Am missing GCF
*squeeze* Will I do for now?
Yes! *squeeeeze!*
*squeeze* Hey DrB, how you been?
All good!
Your count down starts soon!
I know! I can’t wait. I’m getting a little nervous going alone, but it should be a blast.
You’ll carve it up, no doubt at all!!!
err – surfing ref!! ^
Surfing has referees? Where do they stand to get a good look?
On my mom?
Thats where i would stand
up ur butt
Certainly will. *squeeze*
Fine thankyou. How are you?
Where were you yesterday? There was a fail that was a prime target for surprise pickle!
I’m doing ok. Had a pretty rough/bad weekend and then was swamped all day yesterday. I should probably still be working right now, but I was going through FB withdrawl, and now here I am
lol.
I just can’t wait for today and tomorrow to be done with. I have a “date” tomorrow night with a friend who is still slightly hung up on his ex, but I’m hoping to change that
Work always gets in the way of fun. It should be outlawed.
*squeeze*
I shan’t be around tomorrow, off to visit a friend.
I hope your “date” goes well!
Thanks Moomin! *squeeze*
I’ll let you know how it went on Thursday. I hope you have fun with your friend.
Well-wishings for your date mr cuddles
I miss being single sometimes.
Thank you Loz! *squeeze*
Oo! I have no doubt you’ll charm him right into your heart, mr. cuddles.
*squeeze!*
I don’t think they care much about horses in South Africa. They have elephants.
If GCF was here, there would be no reaching around for what to say next.
* Plays “whaa-whaaaaa” on rusty trombone. *
In honour of GCF, a former clicky. . .Goodbye Horses.
)
(It’s a GCF clicky, so you should know what to expect
Would you find an elephant more pleasant an experience than a horse?
Is this what you have been hiding from us Arthur?
*pinch*
*SQUEEEEZE*
*snuggle*
.
Got any lemonade?
I second that someone!!
I have lemonade, Arnold Palmer’s, and ice tea. All come virgin or spiked with your drink of choice.
I confess: I am a professional horse pimp. Since almost every German man and two thirds of the women enjoy horses I make a living by helping them to meet their favourite horse. I’m not proud of it, but it pays the bills.
I am horrified and appalled!!! *gets out wallet*
Testimonial from last horse-person match in his service:
“wow…love the test , fun and the were spot on”
There’s nothing like the smell of references to former fails in the afternoon
And what do we have here?! AN AVATAR!! Well, thank you, dear gravatar.com for hearing my prayers (and Chuck Norris, too. Owe ya one, buddy!)
*cyber high-fives Chuck Norris*
You lost your avatar virginity, would you like some whiskey?
(any excuse…)
*scootches closer!*
Tip your head back and open wide…
*opens mouth*
*closes it again to say something*
‘Kay, pour
*opens mouth again*
Honey, I was after some scotch!
Meh *drinks*
Hold the line there, please
*gently pushes DrB aside*
haha, form a conveyor belt of mouths and I’ll just hold the bottle up
How about “who put this horse, on my back?!?”
Catherine the Great, is that you?
hehe
So how does one get into such a business?
*looks around shifty*
I ask only for educational purposes.
Kill the previous pimp and his family. Do something brutal with his corpse and display it so everybody can see how tough you are (upside down crucification is fine). It’s just like any other business, you see.
Do you cut the head off of the previous pimp and leave it in the horses stall? You know…the old reverse ‘Godfather’ trick.
“Leave the gun… take the alfalfa.”
*thinks it over*
Nah, I enjoy your antics too much to try and kill you or your family. Plus I would need to get out of my chair and I am feeling exceptionally lazy today and expect it to last for the remainder of the week.
Let me guess… You’re doing a project for your anthropology class…
Animal Husbandry.
Oops, I just roffled everywhere.
Damn, that’s a good one
Ewwwwwwwwww…I’m not cleaning that up.
I’ll give you a *HUG!*, though!
I’m such a messy child, aren’t I?
*SQUEEZE!*
We Belgians like Brussels sprouts. …Not that we would want to do anything unsavoury with those of course.
*looks around innocently*
*raises eyebrow innocuously*
But potatoes are bigger.
A Brussels sprout is the rich man’s potato.
Okay, I’ll bite. How do you raise an eyebrow innocuously?
Well, you give it lots of love and attention, but don’t go overboard or you’ll smother it.
…And remember, one day it’s going to be plucked. You’ve just gota hope it knows enough to choose the right tweezers.
What about your waffles?
Rassist
Ouch. That’s got to hurt.
*vlat-vlat-vlat*
As a dragonfly I don’t know if that would hurt.. I dont seem to have an anus.
lol this is the way of the future… it is a new breed called humrse hahaha
“Wir haben wie die Pferde Schultern, Oberarme, und Unterarmknochen.” Ist das bescheuert^^
Eeek. The horse collapsed him
I didn’t know a potatoe was part of a horses anatomy!
mah braen es maed ov ae pootaetoo
*vlat-vlat-vlat*
Only one word a time yomamafromgonslaga!
*Zooms off angry*
No! Come back!
*vlat-vlat-vlat*
Ah, bug why should I?
Oh, i thought you were another dragon.
*vlat-vlat-vlat*
I am dragonfly. Some sort of dragon AND a bug.
I WAS a dragonfly.
Have you considered a muffler for your wing noise?
Or a washer for your bolts?
woof
Best comment I’ve seen in a week, moomin!
*beams*
*squeeze*
Thankyou.
*pats him on the back while laughing*
Morning Malicite
*squeeze*
I, too, thought your comment was a real whinny.
Morning Moomin! *squeeze*
*unbridled laugh*
*squeeze!*
Why so squeezy?
Why so malicious?
*passes a great coffee*
Ow…that sounds much more painful than a kidney stone.
*hic!
*puts baseball cap on backwards*
*stands basking in Moomin-beams*
Erk.
Your forehead is frowning at me
Agreed!
*vlat-vlat-vlat*
I agree.
Agreed!
*puts $1k on the nose*
That’s just…just…messed up!
My words cannot describe it.
Exactly! I sat here looking at that photo just lost for words.
.
*squeeze*
*squeeze* Morning!
The pollen count is higher here than the pollen chart goes. That’s just WRONG.
Your pollen has an air count?
Exactly! Most places have a pollen count in the air, but not here! It’s tree pollen right now that’s causing the most ruckus. It has rained two days in the whole month of April. That’s all. A little rain would be nice to wash this pollen down.
I have had a headache for a week. You can actually write stuff in the yellow buildup on peoples cars.
Ewwww to you both. I hate this time of year. I didn’t get seasonal allergies till I was in college. Now, I get the sniffles for a month. I think we are getting rain in the next 24 hours…so hurray! *does a pollen-be-gone dance*
That’s when my allergies showed up too. I remember I slept with the window open one night, the next day my eyes were so red and bloodshot I couldn’t wear my contacts for a week! What a way to be initiated!
I thought I had to flu or something. All my friends thought I was a big baby.
*ejects to and inserts the*
*joins Malacite in the “pollen-be-gone” dance*
*dips Malacite*
Dip him in chocolate and send him my way!
*dips Judy back*
Aren’t I sweet enough already?!
Woa Jimmy!!! THERE IS A SCROLLBAR ON YOU!
Did I just get propositioned?
Not yet, but if you’d like me to, I will
*squeeze*
Hey! *squeeze*
Where you been?
*Double-dips Malacite in melted Dove™ chocolate*
*puts him in the mail to Velvet*
“Fragile – Handle with Care”
“Keep Refrigerated”
Extremely busy with work. This is the first time today I’ve had to come on. Is my little yellow bear still showing up? It’s back to the pink geometric shape on my computer again.
I see yellow bear.
Thanks MRN! *squeeze*
Oooh, thanks Judy!
.
NOMNOMnibbleNOMNOM
And in three hours, go back and check on what you wrote; it’ll be covered up in yellow dust again.
And three hours after that there wont even be a car, just a pile of tree pollen with an antenna sticking out and a bum pointing at it.
And the bum is covered in pollen, too.
Nice comment! *bows to the master* …*sneezes*…*lookes at mess on Velvets shoes and trembles in fear*
Bah, no worries. I’ll just run around the office barefoot.
.
*looks at the old carpet*
.
Um, on second thought, I’ll go get my watersocks out of the truck.
*loans velvet some words*
Thanks!
.
*squeeze*
*steals a few words and makes a shirt*
*vlat-vlat-vlat*
Split the words. Or i will turn you in.
*turns over his sleeves*
*vlat-vlat-vlat*
Can i have ‘poop’? you can keep ‘automobile’ and ‘fruitcake’
I’m keeping ‘fruitcake’ because of my co-workers.
.
*takes ‘fruitcake’ back*
*vlat-vlat-vlat*
Darn, Malicite.. What are we going to do without fruitcake?
We can start to say cake of fruit. *gives Hairy poop*
*vlat-vlat-vlat*
Thanks for ‘poop’, that includes poo as well
-
I’m getting tired of flying.
Children, please play nice with the words. They don’t grow on trees, you know.
“Dad, can I have an apple?”
“But Stan, this is your fourth apple this evening. Do you think that apples grow on trees, do ya?”
*SQUEEZE* Ms velvet
How’s Iderho this am? Still some snow in the shadows?
*jumps into thread*
*Squeezes Velvet, waves to WN*
Mornin’ all.
*squeeze*
*pinch*
Hey you!
So I take it things are sunny your way?
Oh, yes! It’s been sunny and 90 degrees here since Saturday. Crazy weather for April. It usually rains most of April.
.
How’s your world been these last few days?
Crazy. For some reason management thinks that programming happens overnight. They promised (and sent out collateral) on stuff that will take weeks to integrate into our system and we have a week. Weather has been a little flakey too.
LMAO @ “snow in the shadows” – it’s currently blizzarding. Probably be all gone by this evening though…
Move to Boise!
I once was backpacking in the Sawtooth range (lakes at 10,000 feet) and had snow in July. It happens. But oh man, after it cleared the stars were incredible.
Boise and Meridian are nice.
.
Grangeville (way up in the skinny part) is too rural for me. And 8 feet of snow is just unacceptable!
There’s Moscow, with a big annual Jazz festival. Cour d’Alene is a rich person’s playground. Lots of amazing scenery out there.
Mr pED?
That is wrong in so many ways.
Really? I can only see one way?
The colors are kinda faded, neither animal has a rib cage, and the horses face looks kinda weird. Many, many ways.
And the horse is shagging the human.
I was assuming that was the one way that Teff already identified. Course I might be wrong.
This one’s making my feet itch.
*Scratches sparky’s feet with an organic pumice foot scraper*
Thank you. At least I THINK it was MY feet that were itching. It might have been the hooves of my Siamese twin horse. It’s hard to tell.
Where can you get this organic rock?
I’ve always wanted a rock grown without the use of chemicals…
Bad Pferd!
That makes my bones hurt.
Which bone?
.
*squeeze*
No horseplay!
That’s just foal.
I can’t watch.
*peeks through fingers*
*squeeze*
*SQUEEZES with unbridled enthusiasm*
*finds bride for enthusiasm*
*is saddled with debt after huge wedding*
*Whips out a wad of fifties, counts out 5,000 and offers to pay for half*
Sorry, I don’t do the “Dutch treat” thing. I’m old-fashioned. I believe the man should pay for everything.
Thank god I am only a boy!
I’m pretty sure I made a man out of you last week.
A happy man.
Your sweet smile tells me that. I hope to keep you smiling forever, my love.
We share our hopes, my smile is only a mirror of yours.
You’re such a stud.
It’s post time.
I bet the horse wins.
Gives BareBack Riding a new meaning.
and…
EWW!
Sorry, it was a spur of the moment thing.
You bit off more than you could chew that time.
Neigh.
Yep, and now you’re saddled with it.
*corrals all of the puns into one big pile*
*jumps in*
Whee!
Now that’s a load of stable sweepings.
Yes. I think it’s time to take a different tack.
Well, stop stalling and do it!
I canters resist it any longer.
*squeeze*
*saddles off*
WTF !
NOTHING, nothing, can justify this!
Consent?
*laughs and claps*
*giggles*
The movie “Clerks 2″ comes to mind here.
The text to the left says:
“Horses have, just like us, shoulders, upper arm and forearm bones.
left fail.
then other left of course.
*watches hhindenburg crash and burn*
*was looking the other way*
*turns around*
What happend? Did I miss something?
Smellcome, we are just in time to see the Hindenb…Can we do that again?
*applauds*
Genius.
Are you suggesting that whole incident was just a staged part of an Australian (or was it NZ?) TV show?
.
* (Sorry to those who are from Australia or NZ that I don’t remember.)
*sings* The horse bone’s connected to the…
*sings* Potato bone…
Potato?? *looks for Moomin*
Apples of the earth.
gaynorvader, what would I do without your wisdom?
Aw shucks
LEILA, you’re looking remarkably orange this morning!
Very nice
*can’t stop laughing*
Do horses even have bones in their, er, equipment?
That guy is hung on a horse.
He seems to be hard pressed to get free.
He’s riding the bologna pony.
Is that a long ride, or short?
It depends on your mount.
I wonder if he’ll get the trots?
…but he’s squealing like a pig. Hiya Mooks!
The horse overlooked his purty mouth. *hugs* Hiya AA!
I'd like to know how one can just 'accidently' switch a human head with a horse head.Ask Shakespeare.
Actually, that would have been a donkey’s head
But close enough 
It’s a good story to tell if you want to put one Oberon the children.
Fairy good observation, AA.
I’m glad I read this. For a little while I couldn’t give a puck.
I seelie what you did there.
Did it involve duct tape, super glue and a Titania-um alloy?
Ask Shakespeare. He’d know.
Oops… double post FAIL.
Maybe you were being sub-liminal.
*puts Maeve under her tongue* Oh, wait…
WTF !!!
Wishful Thinking, Friend.
Why thanks, fruity!
omg that feals good the horse is relly big
*vlat-vlat-vlat*
*flies in, takes the ‘a’ of feals and switches it with an ‘e’*
I see you’re some we can relly on.
*vlat-vlat-vlat*
* takes one ‘l’ from relly*
Why sir, you make me feel like I am doing a good deed here!
Hey… you missed *relly*
Ah… ok.
The dragonfly never fails.
You provide a great service…
*hands this thread a Deluxe Bukkit*
That kid totally misunderstood horseback riding
*vlat-vlat-vlat*
No he didn’t the horse is pervert.
Brokeback riding?
Strokeback sliding?
Maybe Horse Back-Riding?
What a novel way to let yourself be carried.
Centaurs…you’re doing it wrong. This story is so upsetting it should come with milk of Magnesia.
All who consume animal meat…BEWARE. Swine flu and now this!!!! It’s going to get worse.
Wait! How the hell do you eat?
*looks worriedly at LEILA’s ass*
HEY!!! Don’t be looking at MY ass. You should worry about yours.
*inspects own ass, tail in way, falls over trying to look under tail*
I can’t see under my tail, can you find me a mirror?
*thwaps Leila*
Swine flu is spread like the flu…and not through meat.
Don’t spread lies! Or no pork for you!
That’s how dangerous vegetarians are! They refuse to eat the animals that can kill us all.
I’ve eaten my fair share of triffids, though.
I personally prefer pink meat.
I had a nice pink steak the other day. Ribeye wrapped in bacon.
*drools*
Speaking of pink meat, the horse’s knuckles and bones are all yellow and purple and colorful and happy
*pops a glass of happy pills*
Report: Meat Now America’s No. 2 Condiment (click)
But if you insert pork anally, you can contract swine flu from it, I saw it on Brasseye, the only news worth watching.
With all this talk of asses, I kinda expected Hairy to be contributing something. How’s your ass feeling today?
Is it me, or does the horse seem to be smiling?
It has a reason to smile, I’d say.
I can’t help but wondering (and i know that’s a problem), is the child dead? I mean could he have survived that?
Come to my farm. I want to show you this penny I dropped last year…
Not visitiing any farms soon…..don’t want to get swine flu.
Sheepless in Seattle. Washington outlawed this after a fatality.
Washington outlawed poorly thought out puns about the movie “Sleepless in Seattle”?
*thought it was funny…*
Whoa whoa hold up. So for how long exactly was besteality legal in Washington state?
Right, wrong, or questionable, everything is legal until it is outlawed.
Washington or Oregon.
Washington or Oregon. Don’t try this at home. A professional died during a filming session. The state legislature found a hole in their code and patched it.
Laws, rules, and standards are written by reading an incident report and writing a “don’t” in front of it. Right, fuzzy, or wrong, everything is legal until outlawed.
If you do it before the law is enacted, it is legal.
Beastiality win… sorry, I had to – theres always a win somewhere.
At least there are always people who think so.
.
Anyway, since you had to do so, I have to say this:
In Soviet Germany Horse rides YOU!
.
Sorry.
Which number on our list is the Yakoff joke? I think it was common blog #17.
Good point…
I am getting excited *¬*
MAN WHORSE!
Your penis looks like a tap.
OMG HE HAS A BOY SHAPED PENIS!!!
HAHAHA!
Structure of animal bones, structure of animals boning, what’s the difference?
One gets to come, the other comes to get?
And that’s called a fair trade (in the financial industry)
As long as there was no Naked Short-selling.
Rumor has it horses never sell short.
Well, it’s a bare market!
wtf x 10
Mommy, what is that horse doing to the man?
They’re making cakes.
Mommy, why are they shaped like doughnuts?
To make the frosting stay.
Hey! You’re not my mother!
heh heh alllll right
blow me
You missed the Hummer fail, henry.
*vlat-vlaaaat-vlaaaaahaaaaat*
Transforms back to the hairy as i am going home now.
This was a good day, my first real FURST! and I have been a dragonfly who helps you with spelling.
See you tomorrow my friends.
Bubbye!
Bye
*waves*
Loved the dragonfly!
*waves*
mr hands? in MY text book?
Only woman can make this kind of pictures without seeing something sexual in it.
True
I’m a woman and I nearly pulled a spit-take on the monitor when I saw this.
No way is this the fault of my gender. There are women out there that would be perfectly happy to be in that boy’s, er, position.
There is just no way that this was an accident.
There’s just so much about this I don’t understand
NO I DO NOT WANK OVER PICTURES LIKE THIS.
Do not attack me.
Or crack-on to him.
Or jerk him around.
* Would really love to nest something tasty’s comment under this one *
Me too. Should’ve waited one more minute before posting
at least their BONES aren’t touching.
I’d bet that horse is so big it comes out the kid’s mouth.
Now that’s a Wunder Boner.
As an attempt at comparative anatomy goes, it ain’t too bad.
From a publishing layout standpoint, WHAT THE HECK? THERE’S NO WAY THATS ENOUGH WHITE SPACE BETWEEN THE TWO!
That is all, and I feel quite proud for avoiding the obvious reference to… wait…
is this Mr. Hands anatomy book???
Someone’s getting a big tip!
No, wait, that was the caption on something over at Engrish Funny. Sorry.
Somebody’s stuck.
look how smug that horse is.
1child1horse. ^^
Actually, if there is some germans here, what’s the meaning of this?
I think that hourse is really enjoying it
Damn Germans and their nonsensible words!
As I can make it out, the caption on the left means:
“Like us, horses have shoulders, humerus bones, and forearm bones.”
Interesting that this is in fact a humerus diagram.
By left, I of course meant right.
0_0
Reminded of Mr. hands, anyone?
Its 2 guys I horse all over again…
….Ok…..very umm…whats the word. well its a big FAIL
that is funny as hell!
http://www.whycindywhy.com/?id=1listtayvfjfx8b31smsdsnps58to
HOLY SHIT 2 GUYS AND 1 HORSE!
Oh God. Because a horse standing on its hind legs next to a person is just stupid…
both boys eh, now thats what i call a homology.
………why?
hahaha
DD
There is no so thing as rape, just surprise sex.
Yeah serious fail!
That horse’s back legs are WAY too short…
Skinny I mean
what are you doing!!!!
Hitler’s chosen method of pwning himself IRL, thus becoming an hero
OH MY GOD….
It’s mister hands!
Skank
2guys1horse dot com someone? lol…
Hey look! It’s Mr. Hands!
The horse looks happy; the guy… not so much.
plz, tell me dat dis fake….
WHY did I follow that link???
Not really ‘fail’, per se. If you cared to look at the picture for an extra ten seconds, you’d probably realize that it’s trying to depict homologous bone structures found in humans and horses.
(lolbiologyfail)
Was Kenneth Pinyan German?
In mother RUssia, horse rides you…
owned
Wie wer haben a gut teim hier in der rump.
German Biology Books ftw!! xD
disgusting germans . bah!
Mr. Hands strikes again!
I feel like this book does Mr. Hands justice….
the anatomy is horse rape.
OMG you have to be kidding me do people edit the books B4 letting them go in to circulation??
That poor child…… :X
well, that’s just not ok…
It is actually a win, it is comparing the evolution of the horses skeleton with the evolution of the human skeleton aka educational.
That was a nice read
you do not return from that…..you dont…
lol
what kind of things do we tech kids these days
procreation >.<
Jesus condones horse rape!
Cloning experiment gone awfully wrong.
I just threw up…. ewewewewe
I guess horse-body people are real
OMG WTF!!! Thank god PETA hasn’t seen this or they would raise hell >.>
I had a book like that.
I’ve never noticed that…. o.O
is this some kind of a joke? sick!
Looks like Mr. Hands got into the world record book.
Putting the “homo” back in “homologous”.