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Cheezburger Company Blog
Cops must have spent all their spare change on bagels. Or donuts.
ROFLMAO
CHAIRMANMAO
Arnott’s Sao
NI HAO
NOT NOW!
*headdesk*
ow
FAIL
NI hao, wo jiao lizzi, woshi shier sui!
MAO EATS HEAD
LEAVES TOWN ON UNICYCLE
UNICYCLE GETS CLAMPED
MAO DECLARES WAR ON CLAMPING COMPANY, UN INTERVENES
Have you ever heard the true story of Mao’s war on sparrows?
No, but it sounds intriguing. Tell me more.
*sits cross-legged on ground in front of Arthur*
Ok.
Mao wanted to export food to the Soviet Union to prove how well his politics work. Unfortunately that wasn’t true and therefore a great famine killed many people in China. Now who’s to blame for that? Certainly not Mao or the communist ideas! Nope, the sparrows were to blame! After all, they ate all the seed, didn’t they? (They didn’t, of course.)
Mao therefore ordered the Chinese peasants to make a lot of noise and run around on the fields so the sparrows can’t find a place to land and rest. And that actually worked! The sparrows flew around until they were exhausted, fell down and died.
But then it turned out that sparrows were actually quite useful, because they usually eat insects that destroy crops and seed. So the logical result of Mao’s war on sparrows was another famine. Since it then was proven that sparrows were helpful but the Chinese sparrows were dead, China had to import sparrows from the Soviet Union.
That story is AWESOME!
Apart from millions dead – yes. It made me laugh and cry at the same time when I heard it the first time.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
And the universe did not implode for the sheer irony? I don’t know if I can beleive that.
Happend 1957.
Wow. Poor sparrows.
The sparrows are flying again
That’s a sad story Arthur. That’s unbelievable.
Wow. From cops eating bagels, to sparrows. Can you say, “wandering threads”?
Sorry, didn’t mean to spoil the fun.
Wandur…Wonde…Wasdr…dammit, nope can’t say “wandering threads”
Wunderling…wanddertin wadle…no I can’t! Are you happy now?
*comforts sofaking*
We’ll be offering a seminar later today, with instruction on proper phoneme pronunciation. ‘Til then, good day!
I knew I shouldn’t have went to get coffee before I hit “add comment”.
Your efforts in the name of coffee are commentable.
common table?
Salmon fable.
There was something fishy about that story.
Gallon lable.
“best if used by 4/20″
Hadron Unstable
*creates blackhole, destroys universe*
……how do you respond on a thread after the universe is destroyed? Oh well I will be drinking coffee if you need me.
Wasn’t even BFF today either! Bad Moomin… bad! *wags finger*
I didn’t think that through.
Sorry.
*jumps in wormhole back to office*
*sigh*
rebuild
If we build it, they will come.
*ponders*
*hits button despite ponder*
A bit indescisive today foop?
Who will clean up the resulting mess?!
Yes and no. Definitely, maybe. I haven’t decided.
it’s a fire department car….so yeah…not the same thing as a police car
I want me some Hadoken doughnuts.
Shoop da foop?
Jack Sparrows?
Jack’s sparrows,
Sparrow’s jacks
Arrow’s packs
DODECACYCLE GETS CLAMPED
They are crime-fighting biscuits, don’t ya’ know.
This is the same picture as below except in another perspective.
same picture as below what?
the one with the baby.
And the space shuttle.
You mean the cardboard box that goes QUACKQUACKQUACK?
I thought I was the only one that had noticed!
Below see level, I presume.
I wonder if the cops pay, or if it comes out of public money?
3rd post and rofl
Sorry about that.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry.
And nobody loves people that call post numbers. It works I think.
A halfhearted apology is a second insult.
And safety is always third.
p.s. A halffarted apology is the worse insult.
5th post sorry
Your days may be numbered.
That’s not a real boot, I don’t think. Or at least it’s not installed properly. It’s just sort of sitting there.
You’re right, if it was installed properly it’d be covering the nuts to prevent public outcry…and the person from just taking the wheel off of course.
Exposed nuts? Sounds like these cops should be written up for illegal parking AND indecent exposure.
Yep – that’s the Hoboken Boot. it’s like a u-clip that clicks on and rests on the street. there’s a steel rod on the inside that clips on the inside of the rim. Yeh you could take the wheel off, but your tags are logged. You have to call the Ph#, pay via CC, they give you the keycode. You then HAVE to take the boot back to a parking facility, else it’s a big big fine for snatching the boot, or even leaving it in the street in a pissy huff… It’s a $150 removal fee. + ticket. I know cuz I’m a rez and I fought in court and won; I have a resident sticker. and the Parkg Auth twunt never showed…
The parking auth and PD are separate entities and I can believe this to happen; both depts are full of shite.
and that bagel shop kicks ass
Of course that’s not a real boat. There’s no water anywhere around …
oh dear, errrm, perhaps I misread that. Nevermind.
*We now return you to your regular program, already in progress*
oh yeah and next commentors gay
-norvader
Touche, ganorvader
Thank you
Better work…
Yellow…
Amped if this color works…
Commiserations…
Did it work?!
lol thats very strange, i wonder who threw that on there car
There’s a clamp on that there car.
(And there’s gold in them there hills)
My first guess was that he was just in the wrong district and some other cops had some fun….but then I was the Hoboken Bagel shop… this makes no sense.
Perhaps a private clamping company?
How may we be of service?
They new guy is down at the bagel shop and he made fun of us being fat and eating dohnuts….. see what you can do.
Excellent, you’re here. We know our military strength is low, but if we can get you to clamp the American armed forces on Friday evening, we think we can seize control of the country by Monday.
Reminds me of the mouse that roared!
Will that be cash, check, or charge?
CHARGE!!!
*charges
Dammit.
Spammit!
Hammit
Clampit.
Cram it
Opening Gambit
Whammit!
“Choose Life” and Jitterbug.
Wake me up before you go go.
HOW DO I MAKE MY AVATAR WORK?!
1) gravitar.com
2) clear cache
3) wait
How long to wait? I waited 24hour so far.
Are you sure you’re using the right email address, etc. ?
I guess so…
Nevermind purple blob will have to do…
When did we stop having fun with people who asked about avatars?
What happened to the ‘you have to email failblog and state, in no more than 50 words, why you deserve to have a personalised avatar’?
*reminisces*
*giggles*
*sacrifices a goat*
*Mourns death of close friend of the family and holds memorial service for Stephen the goat* :’(
*sympathy shag*
The goat, gaynorvader, or is it a sitcom?
(Just checking)
threecom
You’re smelcome.
It took me like a month to get an avatar because someone said there was a council that decided who gets avatars. Thanks guys.
(Morning!)
Wait – there isn’t?
(Morning! Doin’ good?)
I would like to apply to said council.
(I’m peachy! It’s a bit warm these days. Yourself?)
We have a council that decides on applications for the avatar-council.
(Fine, thank you. Weather is not as nice as the previous weeks, though. You can have our clouded sky if we get your sunny and hot weather.)
I see I have much work to do! I will prepare my proposal to gain permission to submit an application for councilship.
(It’s 31C here… so gross, but I think we are getting the gross weather in a few days)
I found a well placed threat did wonders in place of a full application form.
Personally, I think a notarized application form should be mandatory. In triplicate. Signed by 2 witnesses. Black ink only.
I agree, we should also move to make sure the council is protected against future threats.
Blue, blue ink! Lest they think it’s a copy of a copy. Then you have to start all over. *tsktsk*
Exactly, but you don’t tell them they need to use blue ink until after the first submission is rejected! What, you want this to be easy??
I would have to suggest the formation of a council to prepare regulations for the proposal form for the preliminary application council.
But first, you really should form a focus group.
(What can I say, I’m in the private sector)
Gravatar is acting a little funny lately. I uploaded yesterday and it still isn’t showing.
Mine took a few days, too. ‘Sup with that?
Sup with what?
Soup and toast will do nicely.
What type of soup’s on the menu, O Serpentine One?
Cream of Mushroom
Sup n Slad Bar
*gets in line*
Could be gravatar’s not working correctly so. As a last resort, try restarting your computer especially if you’re running Windows.
Thanks for the help, I was waiting for everyone to call me a noob!
n00b!
tl;dr
FIRST!!!1!!1!!!111!!
More morse code to decipher.
I’ll be happy when this birthday is over.
Happy birthday?
It’s Samuel Morse’s birthday
Oh! In that case,
…. .- .–. .–. -.– -… .. .-. – …. -.. .- -.–
I dot dat joke!
*dashes out of thread*
SHADOWZ!!11! PIXELZ!!1!!!
Whew. Glad I got that out of my system.
*pseudotazes Arthur and Brewski*
Wow, you’re right! If you zoom right in you can SEE the pixels! That proves it.
Threaten it or pay it.
That only works with illegal immigrants.
I thought that holding a green card in front of their noses is what works with illegal immigrants.
Good idea! Let’s try it! *waves green card* *observes*
*cleans Mookie’s house*
*waits*
Wow, that’s great. Can I borrow that green card Mookie?
You have to email failblog and state, in no more than 50 words, why you deserve to have a personalised avatar.
He’s going to be doubly pissed when he finds out that the bagels are inedible.
Who would eat a Hoboken bagel anyways?!
Ryu and Ken.
Goku & Vegeta
Think it’s about someone complained about the LACK of html code! :/…
———————————————————————————
It’s not that hard- really!
So hows that police police protection! Ftw…that’s how we roll.
☺/
/▌
/ \
Dial 9-1-1 for FAIL. Lol.
Cop That!
Only thing that would of made this pic better would of been if the bagle shop was a donut shop.
“would of”
twice!
pass the bukkit
I winced at the “would ofs” and then I saw “bagle” too. Sheesh.
Spell as yoo speek nevvor duz enywon eny gud.
Except of course the cow in Speak-n-Spell: “The cow says: ‘Moooooo’.”
*hands jam a cheezeburger”
I can haz teh cheezeburger?
Thanks sofaking.
*munches*
*WHACK!*
Ouch!
If Leila comes on here and askes….it was a veggie burger. but between you and me its all beef. *wink*
*Dives in front of cheezeburger*
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
*LEAPS through air and CATCHES burger dolphin-style in mouth!*
*spits*
Only thing that would HAVE made that comment better – besides a BAGEL – would be some intelligence to wash it down with. ;-p
Stupid shop spelled “beagle” wrong. Man I could sure go for some roasted beagle right about now….
*runs and hides*
Yes, yes. You’ll be safe in this white metal cupboard with dials on it.
*180C*
Lol!
What you’re not an “admin” anymore?
Do you called me?
Hmmm. Prank from one cop to another?
If so, win.
If no, spin.
If snow, skin.
I grow thin.
if blow, grin
!
Is that text, or a picture of something?
No, I. was just. surprised. And now. I. can’t stop speaking. like. William Shatner.
Captain! The engines can’t take much more o’ this! They’re going ta blow!!
if Ho, sin
Mmm hoisin.
Nobody will point out the person pointing out the fact that someone else pointed out to him?
What would be the point?
*points*
Is that person pointing hobo-ken?
It’s a position on the basketball court, I think.
Hi Jam!
*turns head away from Gorgon Medusa*
*shakes hand*
Hi.
Don’t worry, you can look at me; you’re female.
How do you know? I could have all sorts going on down there and you’d never be able to tell! hehe
Two can play at that game.
Because since you think you shook my “hand”, I almost hate to remind you that I am a dismembered head, so I shudder to think what you were really touching…
Oh, I thought you were Medusa before the whole head thing. Hmmm…. I was looking away.
Oh yes. I remember taking that body now you mention it.
(now I’m just grossing myself out. I’ll stop now.)
Ah, so you’re post-Perseus, eh?
Yup.
I love how the old black guy is pointing at the car. You could almost hear him shooting “AH-AH”.
That is hobo ken the king of hobos.
I wouldn’t make fun of him if I were you he may rule the world the way this recession is going!
If he were shooting, it wouldn’t be “AH-AH,” you’d hear *pyewpyew*
No way!
Way!
Way out!
Way to go!
highway!
to heaven?
Thank you!
*Exits*
This is serious people!! Incedents of homeless people pointing at rediculous things in Hoboken have gone up every year since 1972. The irony must be stopped.
It’s true, why in 2007 almost 146 nearly homeless people almost pointed at things which weren’t quite ridiculous in a close to ironic fashion!
I heard that at any one point, all the homeless people are pointing in the same direction.
Everyday at exactly 6:13pm. I saw it on unsolved mysteries.
It’s due to the magnetic field’s pull lessening it’s pull on the quasi-electrons which were floating around the president’s brain, causing several anomalies to occur where the molecular makeup of iridescent cosmic rays could erupt at any moment into a fountain of partially couloured UV radiation.
Yes, but since people who are not homeless are not affected by quasi-electrons you will not point in that particular direction.
exactly, thank you for making that clear, I had neglected to mention it.
It was too obvious. It didn’t need pointing out.
Try and convince a homeless person of THAT!
Obvious point is obvious?
Oblivious pointing is obligatory.
Pontiforous appointing is oligarchy.
Alas, poor Ollie. We Hardy knew him.
Alas poor thread we knew ye well. Next time we get into a rhyming match I might as well just yell out “orange”.
lozenge?
Ore flange?
Cointreau bleu!
door hinge?
I think the cops booted their own car just to get on FailBlog. Far fron bing homeless, the gentleman in the picture is pointing out the abuse of his tax money. He’s probably got a teabag in his back pocket…
Bing!
Bing!
The Road to Hoboken.
Crosby?
Stills and Nash?
Badda Bing?
Am I in the right thread?
Nash Rambler, still runnbing?
Ah, to be Young again. Such a Crosby easy to bear.
Ah, I want to go to sleep… But i am at work.
You guys certainly make waking up in the morning to go to work more interesting.
Wouldn’t they have the key to the boot though, since they’re cops and all?
Nope. Parking Authority is separate from the police…normally.
Shhhhhhhh! You will spoil the hillarity.
But Mrs. Clinton is already quite spoiled. In fact, I hear she … oh wait, um, not the same then, eh? Nevermind.
*tries to slip out quietly*
*fails*
*falls*
*foiled again*
*damn those too big failboots*
Guess he will be taking the bike out next week. He better make sure he locks it up though.
And apparently, I can come back here and claim my free sample of Blow Energy Drink. Awesome.
O really?
O’Reilly.
World of warcraft reference
By me? Didn’t mean to!
If you didn’t mean to then you must be a cake!
If you say so…
*sigh*
*is a cake*
*eats Arthur*
nomnomnom
*burps*
But I wanted the icing D:
*sniffs Arthur excitedly pondering whether it should take a bite*
Mine! Too late GV… *snickers cos I know what Arthur is thinking*
Aww man! It was a snickers cake?!
Arthur had nuts but I’m not so sure now.
Watch out for Mr.T riding in a tank.
He’s too busy playing his Night Elf Mohawk in WoW.
Get some NUTS fool!
You know what hes thinking!?
Mind reader! D:
Cover your minds people!
I do indeed!
Aha! Try and read MY mind!
*Thinks about green kangaroos*
You were thinking *channels it in*
How can she possibly know?
hehe
*gets attacked by green kangaroos*
D:
It appears your thoughts materialise and attack me…
Not again! sorry guys.
*Thinks of chocolate fountains*
They must be your own thoughts. GV wasn’t thinking that at all. He was trying to fool me.
Ok, maybe I’m wrong this once!
Partially, all my thinking is actually done by tiny imps living in my ears.
*starts to drown in a chocolate fountain*
*throws in marshmallow life preserver*
*skewers Gothixemo and twirls him round and round*
Yays!
*starts to eat it*
I know its saving my life but I cant help it!
Mwahahahahahahahahahaa! This is DELISIOUSE!
I can’t spell :’D
And now I’m getting dizzy from the spinning.
Careful or I’ll chuck up marshmellow D:
*puts a bowl over his head*
Try reading my mind through this Cyberpromslastic hydroglaphic shield. AKA a food bowl.
And you also know when I’m going to post. Then you post a second earlier.
*squeeze*
hehe
I tried reading minds once.
It turned out to be Pedo bear’s mind, I’ve never read another mind since.
*snickers with his last breath before he gets digested*
The cake is a lie!
There, I said it >D
*starts eating you’re icing*
Baba.
Black sheep
O’rly I ‘ardly know her.
Consider yourself derailed.
(Clicky explains the joke)
As always it is a safe clicky.
And THATS how I made my gettaway!
It pays to be a wheel clamp criminal.
indigenous. You are clarity a genus of comic prepositions!
Indeed, I’d thank you if I wasn’t being chased by policement flying on donuts.
Who knew they could be used as transportation…
I hate to say this… (after getting a $41 ticket for expired inspection)
I don’t see the fail.
Parking Authority win?
Police upholding of the law? FAIL
Dial 911
*dials 911*
It says number not in service.
I gave them Donuts.
Sorry.
Gladly. Um, do you know the number?
It says ‘Police car fail’. You don’t think that’s a fail for the cops?
I see your point.
Cops fail. Parking Authority impeding the law…fail?
Naah, it’s a win for them.
*is generous*
Put your glasses on and drink more coffee. I know its early Malicite..you will be ok.
*doesn’t wear glasses but will get some coffee*
*is supposed to wear glasses but stomped on them*
Any tea going?
Black, oolong, green, or herbal?
Is milk with sugar not an option these days?
*snickers*
What Jake?
Jake is a person.
Jake is a dog.
Jake is a God
Jake is a theoretical, formless consciousness which millions of people derive comfort from?
Jake is not fake?
A appreciate the guy standing there pointing at it. I wouldn’t have been able to figure it out otherwise.
This policeman just got owned.
But the person who clamped him is ABOUT to get owned
*Sniffs Arthur again, is disappointed he is no longer a snickers cake*
jajaja very funny!!
photoshop fail
Hoboken cops aren’t the ones who issue the boots..they hire out a company to issue the ticket on theit behalf and boot it at the same time.
You then call up a number a take the boot off yourself and then drive it over to return it.
That happened to me and my boyfriend on valentines day. hoboken is super craptastic
hahahah i go to school in hoboken, this is ridiculous, thank you
That is not a complete boot. This picture is a fake. Not a well done one either.
wrong, the lock bar is going thru the hole in the rim and locking on the other side..
That LOL should be relabeled “Sweet, sweet Karma Win”
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! it just can’t be.
Uhm….STOLEN from another website FAIL! Bottom right hand corner they have very conveniently placed their “Fail”.
ORIGINALITY FAIL!
There is no fail. This is a great success. Boot ‘em all!
HAHAHA, finally a cop gets a ticket and boot. i live in hoboken and know exactly how strict the parking is in this town.
btw, the donuts place is across the street
The picture is fake. At least the boot on the car is. The boot was photoshopped in place.
Poetic Justice
(It doesn’t hafta rhyme)
well there you have it, one of new jersey’s police departments finest moment
Only in New Jersey would you see this stupid shit.
uncompromising win
Schlong!
Incidentally, Hoboken Hot Bagels has effing delicious bagels.
gotta love new jersey
Exact location:
634 Washington St, Hoboken, NJ
This looks like someone photoshoped the boot into the picture the tire is fuzzier than the rest of the picture also they slipped because the colored line just above the tire is also smudged it
Aww! No one mentioned the dent on the door… then again, that may NOT have been the cop’s fault… then again, it may have…
Photoshop!
THATS A WIN TO ME!
Looks like a citizen win to me!
win?
Hadouken!!! that clamp. if the Hadoken police need instructions on how to do this…
↓, ↘, →, and then punch
if the clamp just will not budge the break out “Shinkuu Hadouken”
↓, ↘, → ↓, ↘, → and then punch
Is that photo from Hoboken411.com? I think you put FAIL over the watermark on the lower right corner. Give credit, dude.
FAILblog FAIL.
Ahhh! Sweet justice!
self-inflicted?
HOBOKEN! :O