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Cheezburger Network Blog
FIRST!
To fail.
To bail.
To jump to the heavens and have a party with god.
Star Control? Loved that on the megadrive.
Not just any Star Control, Star Control 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111
I only played the first. Fantastic 2-player.
Star Control 2′s single-player game is E-P-I-C, you can get a open-source port for it, just google The Ur-Quan Masters, I don’t want to sound like a retro-maniac, but it’s one of the best games ever!
I am a retro-maniac. You’ll have to go a long way to beat Master of Magic or Monkey Island :p
It’s considered one of the best games of all times by many sites, it’s just not popular enought. Just like Total Annihilation, much better than Starcraft, but nobody knows it!
And guess what! It’s the 53rd best game of IGN’s 2003 list of best games of all times, and Master of Magic? 66th! BWAHAHAHAH! TAKE THAT!!!
And Monkey Island is where?
I actually got Star Control 2 free with a magazine called Retro Gamer a while back, but I sold it in the end.
I have to go be geeky about games elsewhere.
*waves*
Monkey Island is not even in the list! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! THAT WHAT I CALL A PWNING TIME LIKE TOTALLY FAILED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, I love to be awesome.
I’m dead inside…
…and, talking to yourself.
now we’re here he’s not
Ahhh, that is better.
Hi Huggy.
To sleep, perchance to dream
WHY IS MY COMMENT UP HERE???
You put it there?
It just happens sometimes. You try to post in one spot and the post gets into another thread somehow.
*goes geeky about retro gaming for a mo’*
Monkey Island rawked!
Um….Zork, anyone?
Sniff, I miss my Trash-80!
I miss my Mac and Mac Plus.
.
But I still have a working Mac Classic (!!!) and iBook 900!
I have a TRS-80 model 3…. only been used ONCE. I found it in a warehouse when I worked for Radio Shack. It got lost in inventory somehow, and ended up resurfacing about 5 years ago. still brand new, fully packaged. and clearanced down to $4.97. and I used my 20% discount. WIN.
I think I had one of those. Nice entry to the computer world (for me, anyway). I learned basic on that thing. Programmed a few games. Had the basic language down like that. Then, everything changed, so quickly. I couldn’t keep up. Sad.
Monkey Island!!!!!!
I <3 Herman Toothrot
*worships*
Best game ever. In ever. Forever.
Megafail?
u stupid indian =.=”
Wrong! Stupid Mexican.
yeah sure the stupid is the mexican…… asshole!
Actually, I think that he’s Malaysian
Oh my god will all just STFU FFS
Unbelievable tossers.
Boohoo
Why are you crying by yourself, Hejhopp? There’s no one there.
I think this is more of a mexican win!
hah
Yeah, the bar stool knocked him back.
Typical…
The after cuddle, you mean?
I think he means “typical of a latino guy”
I’ll hope s/he meant “typical of a security guard,” but it’s entirely possible. And for you extra-extra PC folk out there, I was a security guard once myself. The shortest girl guard you’ve ever seen (but at least I never fell asleep on the job).
Be not afeared he’s just arresting.
Indeed he is quite handsome.
It’s not, though.
Not typical, or not a Latino guy? I’d guess that he is Thai, but I’ve only transitted through Thailand a few times, not staying long.
Not typical of a Latino guy, but I don’t think he is Latino, either.
4TH!
Oh HAHAHAHA
Ah HOHOHOHOHO
Ha OHOHOHOHOH !
AI IOIOIOIOIO! (imagine letter “I” had serifs)
The Serfs are revolting!
*pinches nose*
You can say that again!
When did those peasants last have a bath?
the Smurfs are molting?
o_O
Maybe the serfs are just there for the glamour, but the ser*i*fs make it possible for I to look like a sideways H.
At least he’s facing the window.
*nods* Though when he sleeps on one of those black posts it seems to work better.
And he seems to be guarding that piece of furniture pretty well.
You have basically the avvy as me, but yours is darker. Hm. *ponders the possibility that FailBlog is running out of shapes*
I was going to make a reference to darker skin and similar parts.. but I decided not to……
My first fourth comment.
Wee
Or not…
Your 1st fourth comment made you so excited that you wet yourself?
Good going! In the future it would be advisable to keep that private.
“We do everything for your safety” lolol
we even sleep for you!?
How cute!
Thanks! I think you’re adorable, too.
I bet you do; and it seems like for you the closest the better for looking at.
Let’s see how close we can get, you delicious creature.
Let me know how many hours of sleep do you want and I will tell you the distance we can get.
I won’t waste time sleeping when I’m with you, my love.
I already knew. That and the jet-lag made me to go on a sleep debt I wonder if I will eventually pay.
You have unlimited credit with me. Good for a lifetime.
You know how (and how much) I like to pay you.
You have made many deposits to the account, it is true.
Can I join? Pleeeease?
You were pretty convincing for me to do that, I moved all of my liquidity to both your deposit accounts.
One of those deposits may bear interest. I’ll let you know when the quarterly returns are reported.
Are there any potential liabilities on those possible unexpected earnings?
Nothing you can’t pay for with diamonds.
Mookie, might I ask what your avatar is?
It’s a fortune cookie. I’m not Mookie, but I know.
No it’s not. It looks like two roses with a love letter between them. Something written on paper, anyway. That part’s too small to read.
I hope it’s not a broken err…souvenir.
After using my magical image viewing &
enhancement skills I have found that
It says: “All you need is Love”
[with Lottery Numbers under, I think]
The first two lines read “Happy Easter,” and I can’t see what the bottom line reads. I tried Magnifier and it just gets all pixilated. So Mookie is wishing someone(s) a Happy Easter, but whom? *grips chin, looking thoughtful* We may never know…
I think it’s a bus ticket and two vodka bottle teats.
It says ‘you will find the love of your life on FB’.
And it was right!
I will have to arrest both of you.
What are the charges?
Pretty expensive.
You can’t put a price on love.
What about an hourly rate?
Not in that class of hotel, unfortunately.
What about weekly rapes?
Sure at the Halfway Inn – just up the road from the STD Market. Beware of that bathroom!
(so, Alice…you’ve been here a while, huh?)
Yeah…
I was here since like, the KIDSEXCHANGE fail, but I wasn’t commenting for a long time.
Oh okay, ta. So you’ve changed accounts, or just started very recently? Yeah, yeah fulla questions, I know
Why sleep at home when he get paid for it at work. =P
And why use shoes?
And why use pants?
What are pants?
Newgrounds? Search for “Pod Destroyer” there!
YOU KICKED MY DOG!
I will need some unbiased scientific evidence for your claim, I can say that the sky is pink, but a simple statement wouldn’t make it true.
YOR DAUGHTR CAME TO MY HOUSE AND KICKED MY DOG.
I don’t have a daughter, that makes your statement totally false.
Also, it contradicts with your previous claim that I kicked your dog.
SHE IS LYING TO YOU, STUPID GUY!
why’d you kick my doggie?!?!?!
Let me be weak;
let me sleep
and dream of sheep…
Do androids dream of electric sheep?
“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain… Time to die.”
With just my heart and my mind
I can be driving,
Driving home,
And you asleep
On the seat.
It’s not funny to laugh at murder.
Depends how they do it.
Looks like a potato up the exhaust to me.
no, only manslaughter contains laughter I’m afraid..
He looks pretty secure to me.
And no-one can steal that couch.
He’s lying ‘possum.
Keeping a low profile. . .
He’s applied for undercover work.
As an antimacassar.
It’s not a fail – see, he took his shoes off.
why does this one look so much like malaysia…l
I feel sorry about the lack of creativity of your parents…
Ouch.
Way to welcome newcomers.
Nice. Here, take this umm…it’s probably too late for coffee, no?
Buenos tardes!
“tardes” is a feminine word, it should be “buenas”.
Yes, I’m pretty picky today.
Buenos dias! pinche compadre marica taco mexicano echele…
Hey you, Jonny Foreigner, come back here with my name!!!
And I think tacos are overrated, from the little experience I have with them.
“Johnny Foreigner”? What ho, are you English, by any chance?
Sorry, I don’t speak spanish!
Sorry, I don’t speak English.
Foamy, have you seen this?
Incidentally, the idiots who periodically attack Failbloggers for comments that aren’t in English remind me of this.
Thanks for that, touching on your earlier conversation, I may only be 26, so my start in gaming was later, but for me, Goldeneye on the N64 is completely untouchable.
Few things come close to unloading a DD44 Dostovei at someone. Very few things indeed.
For me, computer games were OVER when they started adding pictures.
Apart from a brief flirt with Tetris 20 years ago.
And the odd card game.
Bring back Text Adventures, I say!
While it’s easier to add details in a text adventure, images are an universal language. Text games may include obscure words that not everyone knows, and it’s not cool to spend half of your time playing looking for words in a dictionary.
Also, it’s easy to get lost in a text game.
*used to write little choose-your-own-adventures on his Commodore64*
I used to love text adventures on my Commodore 64!
C:\> YOU ARE AT A DEAD END
C:\> turn right
C:\> THERE IS NOTHING THERE
C:\> turn right
C:\> EAST WEST TUNNEL
C:\> go west
C:\> YOU SEE AN OGRE!
““`YOU ARE DEAD!
C:\> START OVER? [Y/N]
Y
addictive isn’t it?
You’re not the only one screwing up the Universe!
^^ Clickie ^^
BWAHAHAHA!!!
I actually saw that before, but it still made me
*used to design custom graphics to Boulder Dash*
Ooops, looks like my Transgalactic gargleblaster was a bit too strong…and why are the couches covered in red??? I ordered purple potato colour….Anyway, bar’s open!
mmm, being beaten repeatedly over the head with a slice of lemon, wrapped around a very large gold brick…
…with lots of mudskippers happily watching the agony.
when did douglas adams write that bit?
although a Transgalactic gargleblaster is nothing compared to a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster…. me, I prefer my Jynnan Tonnix
Hey, Richard! Where ya been?
Stereotypical Win?
NO SHOES!!!
is your mousemat actually cardboard? Mine is, it helps offset the schmanciness of its client.
Does your mousemat have a thick or thin client?
nesting fail
Hey shaddap! I sleep @ work too. I’m also a security guard and it’s a shitty job, but I only do it for the money.
Do you take off your pants?
And your shoes?
And your ?
And your ?!
And your ?!.,”;:
And your ?!.,“;:*Ā£$
And your *.:;:\+={^^
And your (+[ ]::)
And your &^%*@(“^
Is this a new language?
Maybe. (new clicky!)
No, it’s just swear words that have been censored by the Political Correctness Squad.
(Good Afternoon, Jam. How are ya?)
I see it now!
)
(Afternoon BFF. I’ve &%$^”;@ had enough of this &%$^”;@ pain in my &%$^”;@ side. You?
It’ *Ā£^$*!” obvious once you get it.
)
(I’m *&”^Ā£ fine, thanks. My school has “Ā£(*&”Ā£ lessons on Saturday, so I had school today up to $”&Ā£ 1pm. Still, at least I have $”Ā£”!!Ā¬Ā£ Sunday to get a !Ā£”*&^!@ rest
What kind of &%$^ā;@ stupid school has &%$^ā;@ lessons on a &%$^ā;@ Saturday? Seriously WT&%$@?
It’s a Ā£”$”Ā£@ Private school, so I have to “Ā£$”$: live with it. The Tories want to produce more of “Ā£:$” schools like mine. Says it will keep the “Ā£(*&$” chavs off the streets.
Well that &%$^ā;@ sucks that does!
*squeeze*
&%$^ā;@ !
&%$^ā;@ &%$^ā;@ &%$^ā;@ !!!
*giggles/chitters*
[Clueless as to what I said & usually anyway!]
Well, as they say in Frenchland, C’est la “Ā£&(Ā£ vie! I’m sacrificing my $”&( Saturday morning for a good “Ā£(*& education.
*squeeze*
Many !&$%^@#Ā¢ schools in Japan (where I live and work for now) have #@#$$%!@ lessons on Saturday. It was even the subject of the !@#Ā¢$@! national high school English debate contest, a !@#Ā¢$!@# year or two ago.
So what do you āĀ£&(Ā£#! teach?
Why &@$#!Ā¢ English of course.
Must be a āĀ£$ā$: interesting country…last #Ā¢$@! time I was there I was 3 years old. The āĀ£&(Ā£ story goes that up Tokyo (Ā£#! Tower, as long as my (then) blonde hair and I stayed-put, then Dad kept getting free #(Ā£#! sake. It was a while ago
Well I’ll be *&$Ā£! damned! Failblog is full of &?%#~ teachers.
(Should damned be *&$*!/ censored too?)
*writes down damned on ‘to be censored list’*
Jam, you’re a %@$ chalky!
I $^&$ can’t (#&$ understand a &*#$ word you are $&@#$ syaing
Yeah, but why would ?%#~ Failbog censor ‘cute’ out of my comment up there?!?!
Neither can any &*%$ else!
DrB, I was a %@$ chalky. I’m more of a %[]@#$ dry wiper these days. :-p
Hey, it censored me poking my %@* tongue out!
jam, &^%$^ me if I can follow…what’s a (*^&^% dry wiper? But I get the &#@$# gist of it
Is that like perfect victory?
Om%g, how do they *&^&* know where your %@* tongue’s been!?!
One who uses “^%$ wipeable marker pens; there’s no &!!!!!$ chalk in my &^($ training room.
&^%$ crazy isn’t it? I wanted to but then I saw a &^%$ black rectangle suddenly appear in front of me.
*%$% ‘wipey’ just isn’t right. I had this $&%^ black triangle appear in fromnt of me once err… &(*&^ oops.
*removes @$^% m*
*mental note: Take some friends up Tokyo tower and claim their babies are mine*
yoghurt in a moghurt
*is tempted to get out the Most Random Comment of the Day award*
I bought The Orange Box in the weekend deal 66% off right now, how cool is that?
HOLY POPTARTS IN A PENCIL SHARPENER!
Vogue shirt in a rogue spurt.
you guys are boring me and the security guy….lol.
The only people bored by us are those not intelligent enough to understand our comments.
Really is that why you have a long name because you can’t decide
intelligently which one you want. Judge not also you be judged.
The name doesn’t come into it. Stop trying to change the subject. My name is for humourous purposes. But you, sir, have just called us boring. And that is because your humour has not developed enough.
Perhaps he’s going to the Brightly Shining Sea with Martin Tenbones to get the Porpentine to stop the evil Cuckoo?
And I think 5 Eagles finds it slightly boring because the humor is in infinite puns, double entendres and overused inside jokes referring to past fails?
Just my opinion.
Your opinion is accepted, but I’m afraid it’s not appreciated.
much like Canadians in that right…
*sigh*
True.
*shrugs*
I agree with General. The only reason you might think that their comments are boring is that you might not understand the words. Look them up and then you pobably would understand what they are talking about. I think they are quite humourous. =p
Thanks for your support. This has earned you a passport to the Failblog community. Welcome, Francois.
First, you need an avatar. Go to gravatar.com
Is that really the reason? Or are you just trying to be a douche? Obviously, I can read and understand what I’m reading. I just gave some insight as to why one might get tiresome of the humor. Maybe you just have a small capacity for humor and thus, shows like The Simpsons give you your comedy fill. But, I guess my inability to rhyme everybody’s comment with another similar comment throwing in a pun or a reference to ‘BaconLube’ makes me unintelligent.
Just giving insight on what I thought might be the truth. Sorry if I insulted you. So… no hard feelings?
If you don’t think the comments are funny, don’t read them. I find myself continually surprised and disappointed by the number of people who seem to think that the presence of something on the internet means that they *have* to read it. Don’t come read the comments and then b*tch about their inadequate (in your opinion) humor; just don’t click on the comments link! It saves you eye strain, [apparent] humor-related agony, and the trouble of telling us how boring we are.
Why’s everything so black and white in your comment? That petty sarcasm would prove your point pretty nicely had it pertained to what I was saying. Never did I state that I had to read the comments. I WANTED to read the comments, just like I WANTED to respond to someone else’s comment; just like you WANTED to respond to mine. You jump to this false conclusion and overstate what I’m doing such as ‘bitching’ and yet all I did was point out a possible explanation and then elaborate. The fact that you all are taking this to heart is because you a) believe it or b) actually care what i have to say. But then again, this is just a website and ignorance is bliss as you all definitely know.
&%$^ā;@
Shut yo mouth!
Fo shizzle
Get that thing away from my nizzle!
still clueless what i said
That was a plea for things of chocolatey goodness.
That’s what they all say, but they don’t mean it, they’re just acting cool.
lol. I won’t hire that guy ever again! my stash is now gone, I lost about 2 million dollars worth of valubales, and now I can’t find my dang glasses!
Oh no, who will contain that rush of customers?
*laughs*
i got one of those in my house
haha dude i saw this photo like 3 years ago in hundreds of mexican blogs!!
Damn lazy Mexicans!
Someone get me a Sharpie! Let’s shame him before he wakes up!
Hey long name who hides; the humour on this website is the best. The boring
part is when people go on chatting about nothing but thier lives. I like the runs
of humour about the fail pictures, like “flying Dad Bomb” it is clean, non racist,
and doesn’t try to pin a country on themselves. So F**K off mate. so lets see
you true humour about the fail, instead of about your fat head lol, or arrogance. Bring it…. on the fail. now
Look, I don’t know what your problem is, but I can assure you I have a sharper wit than you. Dragonwriter has funnier comments than you. Avis, Admiral, Jam, WhoahNellie, Moomin, czuhc, cuddles, Mookie, Ryannon, Emperor, Skwerlly and many others are also way funnier than. You, by complaining, are ironically the killjoy here. You talk about my sense of humour. You say I don’t watch the Simpsons. What do you take me for?
And what right do you have to tell me to F*ck off? None.
So please. Make the world a happier place and stop telling us what to do.
Have a nice day.
BFF…this is one of those times. Okay?
*tries to remove foot firmly lodged in mouth*
Nope. No use. I’ve done it again. *sigh*
Nahhh…I just didn’t want you to get to that place.
I don’t give a rat’s ass if this guy thinks my brand of humo(u)r is funny or not. The people that I care about and respect do…and that’s what matters to me.
I really do admire your compassion, Dragon. I guess I should be ignoring this guy, but hey, he insulted me.
So…? So he insulted you. Why should you care what this guy thinks?
And as I’ve said before…the absolute best response when people insult you is to laugh…not to lose your temper. They WANT to make you angry. But if you laugh at them…and have the ability to laugh at yourself…they can never touch you.
Hmm. I think I should suspend my use of ellipses for the rest of the day.
Oh, and I forgot to add–this is also why you have friends.
*plucks the eagle’s feathers, toasts his skin to a nice, toasty brown and chuckles at the nekkid bird*
Mmmm…roast troll…
But, anyway, I understand what you mean. I can see my willpower is extremely low. I must learn to ignore these damn morons, or deliver some riposte.
Please do. A strong will turneth away wrath. And trolls.
(And why was I not included in your list of personages? S’ok. Still love ya, bud.)
That’s the problem with lists.
*makes room in list, squeezes Judy in*
Awwww! Danke, Admiral.
no hating now lol.
calling people trolls is respect? please think about it. lol
It’s you who should think about it. You’re not one of the people Dragon respects.
im not sure if the fail is that hes a police man sleeping or that hes mexican
I’m certainly sure of what the fail is HERE…
I am saddened that he maligns the name “Andy”.
Sigh.
There, there…
*pat pat pat*
I know that your Andy is a lovely, lovely man.
your racist coment IS the fail.
THESE COMMENTS MAKE NO SENSE THEY ARE ALL MEANINGLESS JARGON (this one also qualifies) WTF PEOPLE IS THERE A TUTORIAL ON HOW TO MAKE RETARDED COMMENTS ON FAILBLOG?
There is now.
*snork*
I was going to say, “No, but thanks for providing a model of one”.
*smooch*
And Dumb idiot has spoken.
You seem to have mastered it without any help. Well done Miss/Mrs./Mr. Idiot.
there’s a reason why you call them lazy mexicans…-.-
Juses Christ, I hate these fails that bring out all the ignorant bigots.
Is there a bigot who isn’t?
That was my tequila-drinking contest partner!
He was the anchor if you couldn’t tell.
No, security guard sleep.
que pasa amigo?
I see that Mexico is working hard to keep the Swine Flu contained.
damn mexicans
OK, I admit it, I didn’t read all the comments. I just skimmed them. But I get the impression I’m the only person who really looked closely at the picture.
Look. Really, really look at the picture. The guard is behind a solid glass wall. There are no people in the space behind him. It looks like the space, whatever it is, is closed and locked. If that guard is supposed to be the night watchman he is goofing off and he earned that fail. But if he is off-duty, just grabbing a quick nap over his lunch break (I know people who do that) the fail is completely unjustified.
So sleeepy. I’m just the janitor, man, so sleeeeeeepy.
He looks like bolivian :S
FILIPINOOO!!!
oh he’s just inforcing the mexican stereotype
People have a problem with this? Like you never fell asleep in the middle of your shift guarding an empty lobby? HYPOCRITES!!!
#65
FRANKLY, BETWEEN THE GOOFERS AND THE LEGITIMATE GUARDS WHO TRY TO DO A JOB WITH LITTLE OR NO RESPECT OR BACKING-IT IS A WONDER ANY SECURITY IS POSSIBLE! GUARDS TAKE A LOT OF B-S BLAME FROM THEIR OWN MANAGEMENT, CLIENTS, AND JUST A NASTY PUBLIC WHO SEE THEM AS A CHEAP PUNCHING BAG PALOOOKA! GET AN INCIDENT, LIKE THE BEATING THAT TOOK PLACE IN A SOUTH DADE HIGH SCHOOL ( MIAMI ) LAST WEEK, AND THEY SCREAM FOR MORE SECURITY—THE JOBS THEY CUT THE FUNDING FOR FIRST IN BUDGET CONSTRAINTS! YOU CANNOT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS IN AN INDUSTRY FAST LOSING A QUALITY GUARD RESOURCE POOL! IF YOU DON’T PAY, AND ABUSE—THEY WON’T COME——
AS A PAST-MASTER GUARD OF 30 YEARS, I DO GIVE A FAIR WARNING TO A-L-L READERS——WHATEVER IS GOING DOWN IN AMERICA, EITHER FROM INTERNAL UPRISING OR ENEMY TERRORISM, SEEMS TO FEEL LIKE IT MAY TRANSPIRE BEFORE JUNE——PRACTICE WITH THOSE FIREARMS AND BE AT THE PREPARED READY. THE ECONOMIC SITUATION IS NOT IMPROVING, AND THE ENEMIES ARE NOT EATING CAKE AND ICE-CREAM WHILE AWAITING MARCHING ORDERS. IT ISN’T JUST ONE INTELLIGENCE SOURCE-EVEN THE PSYCHICS ARE IN STEP ON THIS ISSUE! PRACTICE,PRACTICE,PRACTICE–IT WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER MARKSMAN, AT LEAST! ON THESE ISSUES, I ALWAYS SAY—”WHEN THE PIANO PLAYER DUCKS BEHIND THE COUNTER—DIVE FOR COVER!”
no, this is not a fail. he only LOOKS like he’s asleep, he’s ready to work if something should happen…