Submitted by Rafael V
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Spectaular epictastic fail! ROFL!
Just doing what comes natural
What’s a Yotkenator!?!?
A special type of curry involving two shards of glass and a left testicle of any mammal closest to the restaurant.
Also a sexual position involving the same apparatus.
THERES PONDER!
Teehee…
Aw, I wanted to say that!
Oops.
Well…um…I WAS thinking of you when I said it!
yes, that’s me, what gives for this ceaseless beckoning? Is someone
challenging me to engage in discussion?
That’s a big negatory, reponder, come back?
Where’s Ponder? He wandered over yonder. Oh, theresponder.
We like your name!
It’s catchy!
Allow me (as a Brazilian) to trnaslate it?
speech baloon: “NO, NOT WITHOUT A WASHER”
down: “BIG SCREW STORE”
*looks to everyone expecting thanks*
….
*looks down*
*squeeze*
Thanks for the translation, Marcelo.
By the way, now that I’ve seen about 15 translations of the damn sign, I take that “Thanks” back. o_O
(I’m going to continue to assume the nesting fail isn’t your fault since it’s happened to me so many times despite attempts to post in the right place.)
Read it as STORE SCREWS xD Didn’t make any sense xD So thanks xD Got the rest right, though xD
As long as your talking penis isn’t here, anyone could challenge you to engage in discussion!
Win!
i’m challengin you to get engaged
The dialog says: “NOT WITHOUT A WASHER!”
And the name of the store his: “The BIG store of Screws”
I am Brazilian and that is in portuguese.
My anus just exploded
just turning comment boxes smaller
Vai Brasil!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL It’s the pedobolt!
I’ve been wondering that myself.
It would take altogether too long to explain.
There were chemicals involved.
Hi everybody!! Having a good week? I suppose so, if chemicals were involved….*comtemplates better living through chemistry* *squeezes for everybody* Feeling better Avis?
78.4. With a few stupid mistakes.
80.2 with a few mistakes!
I can do like 69…but you two are worlds beyond me.
Ahhh…dammit…I should have said 68…
Not without the washer, Mal!
Whoa. How do you get those letters upside down?
MAGIC!
to your mom lol
Epictastic?
Maybe it’s like an epidural.
So thats what is happening here.
Well, maybe later.
Not if they use the washer properly.
Make sure the rings are facing the correct way.
And don’t forget a drop of BL™…
Can you buy a girl dinner first?
Sure, the special-du-jour is frozen baby.
With a side of nuts.
She could be allergic
I want my family back.
Neurotarkus ate it.
Aw Fudge.
I have come up with a new king of whips…the Vloe™ Whip! Now you can Vloe™ Someone with even more pleasure! Wanna buy it?
its pretty funny, its a bolt chasing a nut. the nut is saying, “no without a washer” if you get your mind in the gutter, it’ll make sense.
Those are heaven sent!
Is he going to copy and paste the same thing over and over again just to get a first place?
Btw, spectaular is no word
It’s not a real fail, it was meant to be sexual.
And it’s photoshopped! The shadows are all wrong!
Impressive, Shadow on a flat billboard.
No, it’s real– I can vouch for it. I saw it myself in Sao Paulo, Brazil. Possibly in Santo Andre? Rafa, I think I know you.
Isn’t photoshopped, that’s a brazilian shop board =x
Yeah, I’m sure they meant to imply rape in their ad. No fail there. :rolls:
Err… my Rolls Royce arrived. Just sayin’.
Of course they meant to imply rape… the fail is that they thought it would be a good idea!
it means “no, not without washer”
lol
With a bullet.
>or not<
Ah, real fail.
Ah, bistro.
Ah, caramel.
*bought fleur de sel caramel ice cream last night*
It was yummy.
I am partial to pralines an cream, its a very nice combo.
*starts to crave ice cream.*
Ah, Venice.
bisto
Not a fail, it is an ad for a harware store. It says “Not without a washer!”. Very creative ad, by the way.
Not a fail, it is an ad for a harware store. It says “Not without a washer!” in portuguese. Very creative ad, by the way.
that ain’t right
Ya think?
It is a win, actually. I can read that, it is portuguese. It says: “Not without a washer!”. It is not a fail, it is a creative ad.
They tried to trick us again!
wow, o the imagery!!
What is this advertising?
It says, in Portuguese,
No, not without washer!
Shop of screws
Must be a hardware shop.
It certainly looks like a shop of screws, doesn’t it?
Do they sell balls too?
No, but I’ll bet they sell socket wrenches.
and screws…
and nuts…
and rods…
and tools…
and poles…
and allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters…
*thinks Nick totally missed where that one was going*
Excellent!
And chainsaws. Lots of chainsaws.
Don’t forget the automatic circumcisers!
http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858485035/
That should clear it up.
I can’t wait, no, I can’t wait. When they gonna open up that door?
and caulk – black caulk
I hope they don’t sell a screw in China
… air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors
tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors
trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers…
and sloths…
and carp…
and anchovies…
and orang-utans…
and breakfast cereals…
and fruit bats…
Especially loose screws… those are the best…
Pipes, plungers,…
O.o
Cloral got an avatar? NOOOO! I miss the pretty yellow design you had.
Yes! That pretty yellow/lime one has been around for a VERY long time. The new one’s nice all the same, Cloral!
So, if a bolt is a man and a nut is a woman, a washer is a condom?
Hilarious. Only on this blog would I have to wade through four pages of nonsense to find the translation. Thanks!
It’s advertising lube…
Is that Portuguese or Spanish?
Portuguese.. dumbass
You’re being inordinately hateful, Hater.
I wouldn’t say inordinately. Google any of the words, and you’re bound to figure out the language.
You wouldn’t; I would; I do believe we’re at an impasse.
*thinks it’s all a bit passé*
Listen, I do not speak Spanish or Portuguese, but you have NO RIGHT to call me such a name. Your name is perfect for your personality.
“How do you know so much about everything? was asked of a very wise and intelligent man; and the answer was ‘By never being afraid or ashamed to ask questions as to anything of which I was ignorant.”
~ Lord Billingsley
You are the wise one, BFF. Who cares what Haters do or think or say?
Yeah, he’s just a jerk!
i care. and it’s portuguese and u r all dumb =P
u don’t even know a second language, just ur selfish mother language.
we are the smart ones =D
I know four languages.
…You were saying?
hehehe…
*high fives Dragon*
I know about 10 if computer languages count
Heehee…I suppose I know five, if Old English counts!
Do you get much opportunity to practice/use them??
Same.
But I’m brazilian, and therefore I speak Portuguese.
Um…English is my FIFTH language.
What are the other four?
Dzongkah?
I know 23 languages, 47 ways to kill a man using a fork (1 if I use a
shrubbery) and I also have a +6 sword of ogre decapitation.
Well. I bow in (somewhat) humble humility!
And I laugh really hard.
ACK!! Make it tofurkey please. I will do anything (within reason)!!!
hmmmmmm…
*ponders what (within reason)’s limits could be*
Don’t forget to use a washer.
I LV TOFU!
Serial ego masturbation!
Excuse me? I can speak Japanese, French and German. What can you speak? Lolspeak? Don’t make me laugh.
I bet you don’t know the difference between Swedish and Norwegian, so
shut it.
You might know Portuguese, but you obviously haven’t mastered English.
*sneaks up behind Hater and snaps his neck* Whoops! Guess I don’t now my own strength. That will teach him to mess with General BFF…
*sneaks up behind Cuddles and squeezes*
What’s this crumpled mess here?
*kicks mess under the rug* Oh, it’s nothing! *squeeze*
*moves coffee table over lump*
*smiles*
*puts flowers on the coffee table and drags in a couch and some chairs* There we go, now FailBlog feels a little more homier!
Is that more
homier? or
hornier?
Doesnt matter either one is fine
Oh nice, MMC! *drags in chaise, hangs Monet print* Aaahhhhhh!
Must say:
Portuguese from Brazil, not European Portugese.
Portuguese – I’m Brazilian…
Hah… It says “No! Not without the washer!”
rotflol
I really don’t like those washers.
its alot better without them, or so im told…
I hate it when they say no.
The washers?
And the dryers.
And you do know what too much dryness calls for…
*raises hand* I know! I know!
BACONLUBE!!!!
One of these days I gonna have to make that bacon vodka again! Recommended for bloody marys only.
mmmmmmmmmmm nummers!!
Yes you can never go wrong with Baconlube. Don’t tell Leila.
I *knew* this was coming, but I’m surprised LEILA hasn’t objected! She must be sated by the tofurkey or something…
Turducken!
Looks like she got graymatterz to switch.
Sounded like “Now, f*ck me now”.
Oh, she is so screwed.
You are a nut.
*bolts*
You can’t escape. These threads keep going around and around and around…
Washer we gonna do now?
We could put a hex on someone!
Ooh, I know! Put a hex on Philip’s head!
That joke did not fall Flat on it’s head!
That wood screw with him for sure!
I have a new vise-grip I’d like to try out later.
Oo! I’ve seen the adze for that!
Hey gouges, we broke one of the spindles on the four-poster. I’ll need your help fixing it before we turn in.
he’ll screw her nutty
Of all the places you could have hung that comment…
*roffle*
I thought that this thread was going to be coarse, but turned out fine.
He’ll be nonplussed.
You torqued me into it!
Hows bouts we ratchet this thread up a bit?
No need to drill him about it…!
Just socket to him!
Hammer it into him!
Don’t bust his ball(peen).
You’re just wrenching the puns out now!
It’s having an impact.
Even if full of (compressed) air!
Come on you guys, tap into your punny reserves and don’t let this thread die.
There’s plenty lefty; loosey in a minute.
That will make it more plierable.
I think so chuck! Rawl making good progress here.
*files that input for later*
I think we have it nailed.
Sorry, the die has been cast.
I would l(o)athe to see it end!
Then let’s rivet it into place!
Water your plans for that pipe?
I’m not entirely sure, but I miter saw another pun around here somewhere…
As long as we don’t get bored.
Sometimes you just get loc(tite) into these.
Sometimes you just have to cutter your losses.
I shoulde’ve saw that coming.
You know the drill.
Ah screw it.
It’s a grind isn’t it?
Nothing wrong with a grind to keep a chisel in top condition.
let’s do a jig (saw) to take our minds off of such things
The people who made that sign must have been nuts.
Ah, the inevitable pun.
every comment on here is gonna be screwey, deal with it
Happens every time.
Just go with the thread.
HEE!
Beat you by one minute!
*smooch*
More like a few seconds.
It’s funny because it depicts rape!!!
No. It doesn’t.
Have you recently asked the screw what his intentions were?
He’s a nut, not a screw… and he is nuts… i mean doing it “without a washer”… really – i mean, for heavens sake!?!?
Err…No. He’s no a screw. He’s a bolt, doing the bolt.
A bolt on rather than a strap on is a bit extreme for me.
The only bolt which springs to mind is the Frankenstein bolt…but that might get in the way. Just sayin’.
It looks to me like the washer is saying no…
That’s the nut – saying “not without a washer”…
Well, if you’re running away from someone, that generally is the same thing as saying “no”.
Unless you’re planning to turn suddenly and annihilate them with a fully automatic weapon
“There is no washer…” (a shameless matrix line lift) hence the whole dilema here and why the nut is fleeing the bolt
And you’re funny because… wait, you’re not funny at all. Never mind.
That was mean.
So are rape jokes. Deal with it.
This fail is a rape joke. Did I miss something?
It’s not a rape joke, it’s a use of condoms joke.
Exactly!
Precisely!
Right on the money!
Dead nuts on!
Got it down tight!
(clock)wisely put!
What they said… : )
It’s a gas! *reverses thread*
The price is right!
OOOOOOOOOOOH, lookin’ good, Cloral!
Persnickity
I believe I used that as an icecream topping once.
If you replace the cartoon screws with people I’m pretty sure it adds up to a felony condom or not.
If you replaced them with people, the sign would be taken down.
(you must not be understanding the joke, he’s not chasing her to force her, she’s telling him not until he puts a ‘washer’ on. )
Get it? A “washer”…
*nudge, nudge, wink*
Safety first!
Yes.
*facepalm*
Yes. Yes you did.
And if not, you should have.
Wha we talkin’ bout?
What did I miss?
A lot of screwing around. You will catch up though.
He’s kind of a nut…
*hands Avis a shot o’ tequila*
This’ll help.
*gulps down shot*
Ahhhh! Thank you! Excuse me just a moment.
*THWACKS iamsofakingwetoddit with the shellacked blue whale*
That felt good!
Not cool man. You can thwack me with a whale, you can insert a potato in my —– but saying someone is not cool. You so hurt my faking feelings man.
*Saying someone is not funny*
*Saying someone is not funny*
Okay…all those ways you just failed…?
THAT was funny!
Where that echo come from???
We must be near Fail Gorge…
Fail Gorge…fail gorge…fail gorge…
Is honest.
No, this kind of stuff is unnaceptable, your not trying to make clever jokes on my behalf like scannerdan or LEILA. Thats really cold man. Lighten up a little. I have been blogging on here for months and never given any regulars a problem.
Whoa! Why are you dragging me into this?
*ponders sofaking’s repeatedly calling Avis “man”*
…hmmmmmm…
Can I have another shot of tequila? I think I need one.
My stomach hurts.
*hands Avis the bottle*
(after a triple swallow his own self)
Because nothing about rape is funny. I’m not being cold. I’m treating you with the respect your comment deserved.
…….your kidding right? I know rape isn’t funny, that is why I initialy mocked the fail. But do I really need to go and count how many fails are about rape that are on this site?
Word to the wise, joking about rape, in any way is ill-advised. Anywhere.
Agreed. It’s time sofaking knew when he has crossed the line.
Just FYI on motel fail when refering to a sign that said said something about rapes nightly, someone said the sign was staged and Avis wrote.
Avis
November 5th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Staged or not, it is still funny.
pwned
Oh for- CONTEXT dude, context.
Dude there is no recover for that you did the same thing i did and i posted proof. I respect you you are one of the failblog elders. Just apoligize for saying i am not funny and we will be square.
He probably works at FOX.
Seeing rape where none was implied was a tad off, and you took some jabs for it. Get over it. Laugh it off if you can; we all make mistakes.
Yep.
*gets bottle back from Avis and passes it around*
I will not apologize for stating my opinion. I found your specific comment to be offensive.
You did the same thing, do you want me to find more, there is a rape joke fail on here every month!!! You owe me an apology!
I owe you nothing.
I am absolutely horrified that you are asking Avis to apologise for one of your usual sick jokes. Please, ignore your ego for a moment and think about what you have said.
Maybe they should take down all the fails here that are about rape, theres street name fail, realtor fail, and Im sure dozens of others. Your a hippocrite and I tried to be nice to you since you are a failblog pioneer. Get some class.
“You’re”
“I’m” and “there’s” too.
I made a sarcastic comment that satirized the signs implicit use of rape as an advertising campaign before I was given the translation to English from Portugese and you jumped on me. WTF?
And you didn’t make a joke at me or anything that would be clever you just said I wasn’t funny. Can you see how that was mean? Why won’t you apoligise?
Come on you guys – everybody just chill. Seriously.
We’re all capable of letting it go, so let’s do so. Like now.
Please take the Admiral’s advice, sofaking. I realise you probably didn’t mean anything by it but rape is bad taste and yes, there are other bad taste fails around. Why is this such a big deal?
Because you aren’t deserving of an apology. Your comment did not come across as sarcastic. Or funny.
Neither was your when you made lite of rape. Everybody on here has, there is a rape fail on here very frequently. Even Velvet on Realtor fail and I love her! Why are you assailing me about this I made numerous attemppts to let this go. I wasn’t sarcastic? You must be resident expert on text tonation.
*facepalm*
*breaks open 55 gallon drum of 1800*
Because you are NOT letting it go. And, I said your comment did not come across as sarcastic. Note the difference. Nor am I the only one who thought so.
I’ll take some ‘o that, please.
It comes in drums? Sweet!
You’ve had a whole half already!
*attaches hose to 55 gallon drum*
*lies down on floor*
*inserts hose into mouth*
Somebody up there flip that switch, please?
I am sorry you took it that way. I can see how it may have sounded crude, but it certainly wasn’t outlandish for a failblog comment as I showed you with your own words. If you can’t apoligize can you admit your critique of me immediately afterward was harsh?
*flips switch*
glubgaghhhrbglspltc
*hands end of hose to Avis*
THANK YOU!!!
*facepalm*
Why is this soooooo important to you? Why do you care if I think you’re funny?
*chugs as much tequila as can hold*
*nods to Dragon, handing over the hose*
Ahhh! Thanks WN!
Because your comment wasn’t a joke it was serious. And this community, as portrayed by our ridgid approach against trolls is very fun and very important, and should always stay a cordile and great place to waste time and enjoy the company of other very bored sarcastic people.
Oh for gawd’s sake.
IF YOU TWO DON’T MAKE UP AND BE FRIENDS I’M GOING TO *FOOOOM!!* THIS ENTIRE THREAD AND SEND YOU BOTH TO YOUR ROOMS!!!!
*gives Dragonwriter a good squeeze and then runs from the possible FOOM*
*attaches high-velocity pump to hose*
*prepares to fire*
This is getting ridiculous. Sofaking, I know that you’re not a bad guy, and I can see the point you are trying to make about the alleged hypocrisy of Failblog. But you need to chill out before you make yourself unwelcome here. Like it or not, you offended Avis, and attacking her isn’t going to help anything. The best thing to do in this situation is to try to make nice with Avis (and anyone else you might have offended). But if you can’t bring yourself to do that, then take WN’s advice and drop it.
*takes hammer, tunes empty steel drum*
*plays “Red, Red, Wine*
More alcohol, WN!
*FOOOOMS himself*
*looks in warehouse*
*rolls out drum of 180 proof Yukon Jack Permafrost*
I’m warnin’ y’all – you don’t wanna mess with this stuff!
*attaches hose*
Your comment did not come across as sarcasm. It came across as misogynistic. Sometimes sarcasm doesn’t translate well into print. That is why we usually tell each other when employing it. Usually. If the topic is enough of a hot button issue it is highly recommended.
*holds up hands*
I’m done! I wash my hands of this matter!
You guys treated me like a troll today. Thanks. (that was sarcasm)
I just read some of the comments/threads…
That Bolt looks pissed and that nut looks scared. That nut is running from the Bolt so she doesn’t get screwed.
This is what you see if you don’t speak/read that language.
Which depicts unwanted sex. (commonly referred to as rape).
If you don’t speak the language I can see this sign registering something different then people that know what it means/says.
*leaps out of thread*
*heads for the hills*
*walks away*
Let’s call this one a rap, so we can all get back to using our rapier wits.
*ducks!*
…This would probably be a very bad moment for me to make a comment. Oops.
Boy did I miss some stuff today……….
Not really…
Now THAT was funny, AA!
What did I do now?
Nothin’.
Have a sip o’ tequila
You made a clever joke!
Must have been my alter ego. I am usually crucified on this site.
–
*chugs tequila down* Thanks Nellie! *hic*
You need to get over this persecution complex; it’s going to drive you to drink.
Very wise Admiral.
*squeeze*
Look! No potatoes!
FYI…translation from Portuguese….
“No! Not without a washer!”
siC!
And you are…?
IMPOSTOR!!!!!
CRIMINAL COUNTERFEITER!!!!!
*unmasks fake BondFan*
*GASP*
It’s old-man Wainwright, from the amusement park!
And he would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for us darn kids!
*shocked*
And he has the diamonds stolen from the museum!
Roh My God!
This one is just priceless!
But I’ll sell it to you–one for the price of two–$1.49!
Is that 1.49 dollars or 1.49 cents?
That is a matter of opinion.
And common scents.
Hi, Di! What’s fresh from the oven today? I’m ready for my early afternoon snackie.
I am wishing for something w CHOCOLATE!!!!!!
Mmmmmm!
I still have seven Easter Eggs left, I’ll donate one to ya!
Shouldn’t be all rotten by now? I am wondering cuz I have a dozen + at home still.
If they’re chocolate – eat ‘em!
If they’re chicken – bury ‘em! Quick!
Pssssst. Judy.
[whisper]That’s not how you grow chickens[/whisper]
DAISY!
~
LOOK! BOGGY SEE DAISY!*WAVES*
Boggy, what did you do to the nice ninja man?
Brazil FTW
Im Brazilian! lol!
Yeah….That Marketing was funny….i never saw something like that!
I screw you ! lol
gtg bye!!!
Ciao!
Obvious fail.
Is obvious! LOL
Im gonna screw you!
Dammit, no means no!
Why doesn’t my avatar work? I changed it two days ago…
Could be a number of things…
Perhaps you didn’t go through the process of adding the image right.
Or maybe your email is misspelled. (I did that once on accident)
You didn’t use a washer, did you? Hmmmmm?
I see it! I see it!
Me too me too!!
It’s great that she’s not nakie anymore!
OoooOOOOOoooo!
Very kewl pic, Cloral.
Yay! It’s working!
*does a dance*
Um, ahem. Sorry about that.
Go ahead, say it.
You know you wanna….
DOT ORG
Chuck-a-rama?
Noooo , how could you?
I was so used to your old avatar.
It says, “No, not without a washer, No” Hilarious
How many people are going to tell us this?
Thanks for the input, but it was added already.. several times…
There will likely be several more people who ask for a translation too. Just so ya know.
go Brazil !!
go bananas!
run Hazel!!
\o/
I actually really like this! teehee
Hiya Daisy! LTNS!!
It’s embarrassing how long it took me to figure out ‘LTNS’ but I got there in the end!
Yeah I’m really busy with work and I always stroll on here a little too late
Well, you’re just in time today
*SQUEEZES Daisy*
Reminds me of my youth… *sighs happily*
Are you a mechanic?
ROFL
You ran around aroused w/out the protection of washers?
Exactly.
Before a mad scientist goes mad, there’s probably a time when he’s only partially mad. And this is the time when he’s going to throw his best parties.
For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: why not add a slice of lemon for freshness?
Did someone say there was a party?
*hands-out the vino and assorted drinking-beakers!*
I don’t see how this is a fail at all, it’s just funny.
By the way you’re all incredibly dull and annoying, there are far too many inane and idiotic comments on every fail, please stop.
Thanks.
How many ways can I say “bite me”?
*applies BaconLube™ to Monty Marshall, pushes him down steep hill*
*catches a ride on Monty Marshall*
WHEEEEE!!!!!!!
Wait, how do I get back up?
Literally LOL’d, Ms B
With a meeting taking place 10 feet from me…
*bows*
Glad to be of service!
A tad extreme…but effective!
At least he didn’t put crocodiles at the bottom of the hill.
*turning a new page*
-
Will not OBJECT to BaconLube™’s marketing going forward.
Most Excellent.
Yes, frequently once one realizes the truth about the inherent goodness and general applicability of the product, it’s much easier to get past one’s innate antipathy toward said product.
I am not advocating the product. You won’t make me!!! *flees*
Ooooh!
*in creepy voice*
She’s one of us now!
Oh my. Ready for the 4am weekday Fails, ye thinks?
*emails GFC*
I’m disinclined to accept your invitation to halt the production of comments which are causing hilarity through whitty remarks and the use of obvious puns.
*stamps DENIED in red ink*
*passes DENIAL on down the line…*
Love how you’re working the room Nellie!
No, I don’t think I will stop.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Ooh the snowballing Baconlube effect. I like it!
The comment has flown the nest! *sigh*
*Throws it up to WN*
Got it!
Don’t worry, the comment will migrate home shortly. They usually do.
Not this time Cloral but thanks for your vote of confidence! hehe
Gravity must be very strong in the threads today. The orphan posts aren’t flying back up to the nests as they usually do.
The force is strong in this one.
Do you remember the great schism of 2008?
Oh. Oh, that was so painful.
No nesting AT ALL!!!
*shudders*
I remember that as well. The horror, the horror…
*curls up into little ball and rocks to and fro, whispering “nesting is your friend, nesting is your friend”*
Oh
my
God.
*quivers*
It was horrid. And there were folks who wanted to KEEP it that way!
It’s true. But only the ones who don’t like us.
Whatever did happen to that troll that was flooding the place with sh*t recently? How did yous manage to get rid of him/her?
.
I’m afraid to say the name but I think you’ll know who I mean…
Emily happened to him. Twice
Thrice!
Three times a lady.
LMAO Starfish!!
EMILY? Who EMILY? Freind?
Emily even bigger than BOGGY, BOGGY.
Emily GOOD friend
*hands jam some Red Bull*
I understand it gives you wingnuts.
(refresh, refresh, refresh)
*drinks*
*looks down*
I’ll caulk that up to experience!
Life a bit more interesting, Ms. Jam?
Oh my.
Don’t forget to use a washer, jam!
It’s a good caliper of nesting fail. I’ll be sure to take your ad-vice.
If you’re gonna bend any steel with that ad-vice, prolly best to fasten it to the workbench.
lubricate first.
You should always lubricate before you screw a nut.
Can someone pass HCP the baconlube?
Who had it last? *looks around*
Sorry……..
Their prices will “screw” you
Funny! But, what do the words on the sign mean?
*ducks and runs*
[2x]
Means “No, not without a washer!!”
No, not without washer!
Not so hard.. really i am portuguese
I wish all c0cksuckers who chitchat in pics will be banned. It’s so fukkin annoying to read such bulls*it not related. I am not the first or the last who says this but srsly.. Dunno how to say it english but you are..err..umm.. “sawing the branch you are sitting on” when posting gdday comments – or spamming as I call it
So kind of you to share.
He/she surely knows ALL the fowl words in English.
Chicken, duck, goose……?
Ooooo Ooooo….DUCK DUCK GOOSE!!!!!
Partridge?
in a pear tree.
*turducken*
That’ll get you won’t it?
*shudders and takes a big swig from Nellie’s tequila* Um…nope! Everything’s fine…*hic*
I can sense a flashing coming on VERY soon…
BTW, you need to change your name now, since you are no longer AGAINST BaconLube
*Against Marketing BaconLube™ REMOVED from name*
-
Wow! I feel like I lost 10 lbs!!!!
-
*starts searching for a new cause*
You do realize that by saying that, you have made a post completely unrelated to the picture.
There’s always at least one…
My head actually hurts now. Yeesh.
*hugs Avis*
Heer DUCK TAPE Avis!
WRAPS it Round You HED!
Stops leekes and Splosions!
*paints himself in a corner*
What color are you painting yourself Aja?
And why are you doing it way over here in the corner?????
BURMA!
Heeheehee.
Aja is panicking again.
*squeeze*
*carefully steps across the now-hopefully dry floor*
WTF, I have been burgled!
Where’s the security guard?
Off-topic comment is off-topic.
AGREED
Because it’s mandatory to view the comments to view the pictures?
Clean up on isle 9…
Is that a sPacific isle?
BRAZIL!!!!!!!!!!
*covers crotch with hands*
NO NO, Brazilian Hurted! OUCHIE!!!!!BOGGY not gunna were Speedos no mores!
The text on de ballon says ” Not too hard ” hahaha i love portugal!
is not portugual is brazil
oh dear
Indeed.
Indubitably.
I just read some of the comments/threads…
That Bolt looks pissed and that nut looks scared. That nut is running from the Bolt so she doesn’t get screwed.
This is what you see if you don’t speak/read that language.
Which depicts unwanted sex. (commonly referred to as rape).
If you don’t speak the language I can see this sign registering something different then people that know what it means/says.
Thanks for clearing that up!
I swear… there’s a brazilian on FailBlog…
Brazilian
*covers crotch with hands*
NO NO, Brazilian Hurted! OUCHIE!!!!!
BOGGY not gunna were Speedos no mores!
ME staying natural fum nows on!Next on Animal Planet, “Boggy Goes Commando”.
Sponsored by BaconLube™.
Only one?!?
{Aff…. essa galera gosta de zoar pacarai… tem que se ligar pra num cair na deles….
o q importa eh que o blog eh ducaralho…
vamo botar mais tupiniquim nesse trem aki po! to ligado q tem uma nacao ae que acessa essa porrra e fica ae calada , e quando escreve pra ajudar os gringo fresco , ainda leva cortada….
parabens pro Rafael V pela foto….. massa mesmo!}
I guess there IS a Brasilian on FailBolg…. just wish I knew who!
I see no fail.
I see fail people.
Have a nice weekend everyone! They are letting us out early… (not that it matters since I am still responsible for billing 7.5 hours today…)
Toodles!
Aaaaw…Malicite left before he could see piggie related story. LOL
CLICKIE!!!!!
whats so scary about a guy with a big nose? seems natural to stick it in a mouth that big…
Made In Brazil hahah
Ad at Bottom of Column:
BOLT DEPOT.com fastener shopping made easy
Translation:
“Nao, sem arruela nao!” = Not, without the washer not
“Lojao dos parafusos” = Store of the screws
Wow, seriously!!!
Thank you so much for clearing that up for us!
I, for one, was so confused. I am SOOO glad I read your post (and not the 47.3679 others explaining the translation), otherwise I might have NEVER known.
*sniff* I feel complete now. *sniff*
LOL…what?
I was lost without learning the translation for the 300th time today. But I am good now. *sigh*
HAHAHAOHOK.
wow, seriously went straight over my head that time…
that’s what baconlube will do to you
This is common propaganda @ brasil stores, so technically it’s a post FAIL.
Not all of us live in Brazil – so it makes it funny.
And…I’m guessing it’s funny there as well, or they probably wouldn’t bother!
No, this is not common in Brasil. And “arruela” is a metal ring that you put between the bolt and the screw to protect one from the other. Like a “condom”… It is funny, I guess only if you understand Brazilian Portuguese… I hope I cleared that up
So hey, does anyone want to know what the translation is???!?!?!?!?!?!!111111111112`1111111eleventy?
Hilarious!! The comments crack me up more than the fail. As usual.
Hey! Where’d my snazzy icon go?? Why have I been reduced to trolldom? ARGH!
Hey it takes a very confident person to pull off the pink look.
*moons graymatterz when he least expects it* POW!
ARRRRRGGGG…MY EYES!!!!
Oh wait…Hey it’s not blinding like I thought.
*Nice tan lines*
OH OH OH!! *raises hand* I know, I know. I know what it means Teacher…me me me meeeeeee!!!!!
*reluctantly calls on LEILA*
Yes Leila?
*Knows she will pull of another one of her “little Leila” dirty jokes*
*stands*
-
The answer is: 2 x 8 = a(b+c)
-
*proud of answer sits back down*
*Is thoroughly surprised that Leila did not bust out another dirty joke….*
Hmmm….maybe this is the beginning of a new Leila…?
*tee hee hee. by the time he scrolls up I will be long gone* POOF!
It says “World of Screws” and the logo is similar to one of the infamous “Uneeda” companies here in the US (“Undeeda Bolt & Screw”). And the campaign works well.. almost as well as the pinup calendars for Rigid Tools.
WTF? *scratches head*
ditto.
Um, *also scratches leila’s head*
Are we participating in social grooming now?
*scratches own head*
Though it was a fad that was catching on…
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Ok, I guess I can join in.
*scratches Emperor’s head*
*enjoys the comfortable touch of Ms B*
I getcha.
This is an actual joke used quite offten.
Here in Chile, in the 80′s was too usual to see it on the bus in the form of a sticker.
Not a fail in itself, it’s only a joke.
dequin, I thank you for NOT telling us the translation. *applause*
Ah, nuts…
Surprisingly…after all the blah blah comments, this one actually made me laugh.
I don’t know why.
I know why. It’s the simplicity of it all. It makes it funny. I didn’t LMAO but I LOL’d.
A lol a day keeps the doctor away.
Yeah, please keep them away. They just make you sicker.
*buys Baconlube™ to throw off bridge hoping fish use it*
RAPE!
400th comment!
BRASIL o/
Brasil Rlz!!!
Yeaaah
sorocaba – Brazil.. i know where is this shit, and its real xD
The funny thing is that it’s meant to be that way. Check out the translation. More like marketing WIN!
the moonlanding was photoshopped! it’s true! google it!
PIXELS!!!!111!!1!!11!1!11!!!!!
OMG FIRST!!!!1 LOLOLOLOL PHOTOSHOPPED!?!?!
*head explodes*
*picks pieces off his clothes and the floor*
BFF – I thought we already wrapped your head to keep these leaks and explosions controlled…?
What a mess……..
Can you google it for us? I don’t want to leave this room.
SHADOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Careful, Bolt. Foamy is watching!
Alice, are you small or ten feet tall?
What does that have to do with anything?
Oh, and BTW, short.
Wow, somebody forgot to go to their anger management class at lunchtime.
No…someone just doesn’t know the song.
Whoops!!!
I didn’t see the name change.
*thwacks self*
Me neither. Damn you, foot-in-mouth!!!
*shakes fist at self*
What do you want me to do? Pull a White Rabbit out of a hat?
Yes.
Now.
Do it.
Nownownownownownownownow.
*does it now*
TA-DA!!
*faints*
YOU KNOW DAMN RIGHT!
♪ One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small,
But the one that mother gives you doesn’t do anything at all…
BRAZILLIAN
HUUUUUU
Where the hell did I put those self-sealing stem bolts?
Damn!!! Soooooo many fails about my country =(
I think ou guys should open the website: Failblog Brazil.
For those who dont know portuguese its written: No, not without washer.
ps: I need a green card! =)
I wouldn’t be too negative about your nation. Your leader has more than an 80% approval rating (the highest in the world) and he has reduced poverty in several major cities. Plus, he’s managed to raise the economy. I would be proud of Brazil.
hahaha looks like RAPE!!!!
…YaBuncha Idiots, meet sofaking. Sofaking, meet yet another bigot.
Dude stop talking about me. You don’t know anything about me I’m not a bigot. Keep my name out your mouth.
Rape is not funny. Just get that into your head, and maybe we’ll let this one go.
Hey BFF…. Boo!
Hee! Scared of me! HA!
But seriously, thanks BFF, and WhoaNellie, and Admiral Apparent, and Dragonwriter and DTI. And anyone I might have missed. I apologize to you guys for letting it get out of hand.
Just stop already, I haven’t said anything in hours!! Just stop bringing it up! Now you are thanking everyone who ganged up on me? What’s your problem. I just want to be friendly with you peolple, can we call a truce without you calling me a bigot or a mysogonist? Please.
Agreed. There was a misunderstanding on both sides, and it’s much better to let bygones be bygones.
*gives sofaking a cookie*
Look. I can’t stand it anymore. I’ve just gotta say…
…that my chillis have just sprouted from seed, and I am a happy man!
What kind of chilies, DrB?
Only one variety just now: Thai – vicious little buggers!
I left a little fruit on one of the plants, and they’ve self sown (but, I’ll claim it all the same hehe). A chilli fan, AA?
I dabble with chilies in my cooking–usually roasting them before dropping into soups, stews, and veggie chili. I like a good, slow burn.
.
I take my Thai food with three or four chilies and lots of Thai basil.
.
Growing anything from seed is fun, particularly when the seed didn’t come out of a packet.
MMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
I can help you with that good, slow burn part.
(And CONGRATS, DrB!)
You know how to sweeten the pot, babe. And that chef’s apron you’re wearing is causing quite a stir.
Oh yum. Yes, growing tucker gives a great sense of accomplishment when it comes to the meal! I suppose it’s an analogy for life really
Gah! Sorry!
Wrong oil measuring utensil.
Montgomery
and Gentry
They’re just like
A mini-mall!
ASUHAUSHAUHSUAHSUAHSUAHS, OK OK. BRAZIIL RULEEEEEES!
Hahaha, Brazil Rulleeeeesssss!!
Hauheua, this from my town, on brazil!!!
What’s the fail? The sexual reference is on purpose. Any of you know portuguese?
It’s not a FAIL, it’s really a sexual joke… lol
I know cause i can read portuguese
It’s just another hardware shop with a cool joke
Hurray! Brasil!
LOLOLOL! Awesome!
I really LOVE this FAIL!
Very funny!
LOL.
” Arruela ” is a washer.
And I’m brazillian, probably that thing happenned here.
The store name could be translated as ” Big Screw Store ” [ on the good way ] , or something around that.
Yeah, and btw, the sexual joke obviously on purpuse.
BRAZILIAN FAIL \O/
I can’t see this picture. Server fail?
Apparently, you know what they say:
“I’M GUNNA RAPE YAAAAAA!”
I get it.
’223′!
*falls over laughing*
*squeeeeeeeeeeeeze!*
I knew someone would get it eventually!
Oh god! When I got to ’00′ a little drop came out. Heheheheheh lolol
Guys! chill out!
Ok… take a look at the stuff written at the sign (it´s portuguese, if you didn´t know)
This is an srew store add… The nut is screaming “not without a washer!”
so the idea isn´t really a rape joke, it´s more a “safe sex joke”
Hah,that’s why I love Brasil.
Sexual harassment, Brazilian style!
wow that picture has gay implications with trying to screw a nut >.>
yes yes I do protest homosexual conduct
bando de gringo burro
not without a washer lol
if anyone cares, the ad actually makes sense. Translated it says:
“No, not without a washer!”
Looks like she’s bolting from that nutjob…
Oh, those randy Brazilians.
I really don’t think that it counts as a fail if it is put out of context or in another language that looks like something stupid in english (like the Universidade del Moron or somesuch, posted a while ago). These stuff actually make quite some sense or have no funny connotations in its original context. The failblog team should research this stuff up to make sure, and that’s without counting the photoshopped and the fabricated stuff.
A fail implies actual inadequacy on the source in some way. If a fail is due to poor translation to english, no problem, if using a foreign language in which a word or two looks like something funny in english then it’s not the source’s fault, or are you saying that everyone in the world should mind the english significance of everything they say or write when they’re not using the language? The internet is a dangerous tool, and even small stuff like this can snowball into something big if the wrong person stumbles at it with the wrong idea (the whole “Sex-Box” incident about the game Mass Effect started with such a snowball…).
And I’m brazillian. And I admit, sexual jokes are a big part of our culture, so something like that can actually be in the open (even though the joke is about condoms), but it rarely comes to rape, unless in downright dirty jokes (usually, involving the Argentinians or Portuguese, occasionally ourselves). So no, rape isn’t taken lightly in our culture, and this will stay here for the sake of protecting the poor man’s business, before any fanatical activist goes all the way to burn his establishment (I know it’s far fetched, but the world is crazy, so who knows?).
“Not without a washer!” The dialog says.
I remember this from the old dirty postcards you found at British seaside resorts 40 years ago (maybe still do). The caption read, “No, not without a washer!”.
Dude, this is marketing win! You know what the nut is saying, right? “No, without a washer, no!” It’s a condom ad parody. WIN.
CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGED!!!!!!!!!!! *yoing* “SREEEEACH!” OH AH, OOOOOOOOOOh AAAAAAAAAAAh,
btw, this is a very old photo, or it was taken in some remote area of Brazil, because the phone number has only 7 digits instead of 8 (not counting area code of course)
hahahahahaaa,um buraco e uma rola=Sexo…=muito fodaaa hahahaha amo seu site por causa disso
um buraco…uma rola…=sexo…= i Like very your site!!!!!!
sou do brazil….!!!!
im a of brazil!!!!
“im a of brazil!!!!”
can you learn english in brazil?
This will become rarer now that excess IVF babies are allowed to be killed for science!
Get her doneeeeeee!
The nut is saying not without a washer! lol
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
no, not without alley! xD ahsuuash que merda xD
HA! that even says “no, not without a washer!”…great
the nut is saying, “No, not without washer!”
and then the sign says, “Shop of Screws”
Brazil
no, without washer no
Trying to screw a nut
this is not a fail
its exactly what is supose to be
he is saying that he need to put a condom…
this is not fail. it’s supposed to be funny. i’m brazilian and I know that “Não, sem arruela não” means “no , whithout washer, no”, doing a direct joke with “NO, WITHOUT CONDOM NO”,
essa é boa so no brazil mesmo
What’s so wrong with trying get a nut
HAUEHAUHE
BRAZIIIL RLZ!!!
Oh, yeah, US too but not as BRAZIIIIIIL!!
;P
*Yes, I’m brazilian.
seu cu não sera perdoado XD
yay Brasil! XD
lol nem foi fail…o anúncio queria passar essa mensagem
mas deixa quieto ‘XD
NAO!!!! You are all missing the best part. The second meaning of ‘washer’ here is ‘ring’, as in; “NOT WITHOUT THE RING” [You're not getting any!]
I’m not even joking; I saw an extremely similar billboard in LA last weekend. I couldn’t get out my camera fast enough.
But, it’s still amazing.
brasiiiiiil! hAIUAHIUAH belo fail
essa é old olha lá 223…
lol, BRAZIL ZIL ZIL
BRAZIL FTW!!!
BRASIL AMO!!!
Ronaldo, brilha muito!
orgulho de ser brasileiro!
She’s SCREWED!!!
EH NOIZ BRAÇIL!!!1
AE BRASIL CARALHO
Guys
i’m from brazil
translating
“not without washer not”
a concept thought of by a man, maybe?