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Cheezburger Company Blog
Dear newbies,
please ignore the troll henceforth, it’s the only chance it might get bored and disappear. It has spoiled the fun more than once with its extreme ignorance, stupidity and lack of wit, humo(u)r and manners. Replying to it only encourages it – the troll gets the attention it wants and therefore feels as if its life has a meaning.
Just don’t reply to it. Not at all, no matter what the troll says. If a thread is at the point that you can’t reply to other people around the troll, you can start your comment with the name of the person the troll has replied to.
It takes some discipline, I know.
Thanks!
Good plan Arthur, well thought out.
*squeeze*
Thank you! I thought some advice to our young padawans could help.
*squeeze*
Thankee unca Arthur.
*squeezes shins*
I could cry.
*squeezes ankle*
Better?
I don’t think it will get better.
Beachy Head Activity 1 is calling for FB.
Erm… wasn’t that having sex in a car?
That’s Activity 2.
What’s 1? Jumping?
*nods*
But no, too much credit for one mindless kid.
Well said.
Good squeezies!
*squeezies wise ones*
Hey you!
*squeezie*
Where have you been?
Before yesterday you hadn’t been on for Aaaaaaaaaaages.
im back!!! whats new?
*squeezies more*
I missed you guys sooooo muchly.
Had to go with a job shift with no
net access. *grumble*
I’m back now though.
Someone explain Squeezies to me without using the following words; Fail, Noob and get-a-life.
A squeezie/squeeze is like a hug, you get squeezed.
Good to have you back SrrslySrry. *waves*
An that makes sense.
Thanks moomin
No, it wasn’t. It was under the boardwalk.
Down by the sea?
do i count as a troll cos i rarely post but like to pester people with my incredible humour?
did i mention, my humour is incredible?
Who will credit your humo(u)r?
uhhh… nice first post
Don’t feel like it… too lazy
YOU AND YOUR DAMN AVATAR FETISH HURRHRUR!
I DONT EVEN SEE YOURS#!#!@#@!#@@!
If I get an avatar, does that make me a god?
you have no avater,i shall not listen to you
good one.
Hahahahah Sam owned in his own game! Funny!
good two.
Good three
I agree with Arthur. Sam is like a monkey at the zoo. He likes to fling shit around in a festive manner. Please don’t antagonize the monkey.
I agree with Arthur. Sam is like a monkey at a zoo who likes to fling shit around in a festive manner. Please don’t antagonize the monkey.
I agree with Arthur. Sam is like a monkey at a zoo who likes to fling feces around in a festive manner. Please don’t antagonize the monkey.
Well said Arthur.
O.k. guess i will be back around 2p.m.
hey, did anybody see the funny picture of the venus flytrap with a spiderweb on it?
uhhhhhhh… doesn’t ring a bell…
It’s a fly trap, not a spider trap.
That next fly that passes by is doubly screwed.
Who will get to eat the fly though?
There was an old lady who swallowed a fly…
But I don’t know whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…..
The Fly Traps and the Spiders gang merged to form a more powerful network and regain control of their turf.
From what I hear the Flys and the Ants will be meeting in secret to plan a counter-strike to this new offense.
was gonna say it but you beats me to it
Perhaps it’s a Vegan Flytrap?
But what about all those “wingless” flys I’v been hereing about?
Does it catch walks?
O.k. I am back from searching for a life… Took me 20minutes longer then expected.. Bt NOW I HAVE A LIFE… What makes me have a ‘life’ being alive? Or does it mean you have to be social and have a lot of friends?
no i think it means you have to butt out of others lives. therfore you can live on your own merit. or something like that…
why am I replying to this comment? I don’t know.
but I think this picture is more fascinating than it is fail.
you can’t kill the troll.
it’s part of human nature.
many people will even willingly feed it, because they find it entertaining.
give it up dude.
learn to live with it.
THE TROLL IS A LIE THE TROLL IS A LIE THE TROLL IS A LIE!
Perhaps… It IS a lie?
Indeed…or a hallucination brought on by hallucinogenic drugs or compounds. In which case…I still think it would be a lie.
Well, if i see all this because of the shrooms i take every morning.. Then
it is not a lie. It is my own reality.
So does that make everyone here a figment of your hallucination?
Only the mushrooms. Way too many mushrooms eaten on here.
Well the proximity to the failblog makes it somewhat easy to find mushrooms…
*grabs L* failbog….
if something is an hallucination brought on by an hallucinagenic ( I don’t like your “o”) drug, then surely on SOME plane, it really does exist.
Arguable…if you imagine something does that make it real on some plane or is still just a figment of your imagination?
)
(I like my “o”…its the correct spelling of the word…at least according to the firefox spellchecker and dictionary.com
your “o” may be the correct spelling, i just don’t like it
OMG EAT IT!!!
sorry… i thought you said alive
AlDeezy = Valve Fan ?
Lets see, how many references..
SOYLENT TROLL IS PEOPLE!!!
or maybe
THE ID! TROLLS… TROLLS FROM THE ID!
Woohoo! Go Arthur! I don’t think it’s going to work though… I think the troll you’re talking about feeds off itself.
so Arthur, you are advising us to ignore you from now on? is that what i am to take from this?
are you glad you were first?
you are more annoying than any troll that has been on here for months and months……
*yawns*
You are -and have been for some time- sollicitating for the same treatment.
Just. . . .No.
Hush it will all be over soon.
Your the one who yells FIRST on a fail picture.
Therefore YOU need a life.
Hm. You give me an idea. Next time I see a new Failpic, I’ll shout “FIRST”. Except that I won’t be typing it…
Hm, on second thought, my coworkers probably wouldn’t understand.
Wasn’t it 1th?
What troll? :O
learn2english moar Sam.
Had to say it in your native tongue.
Dear Arthur,
You spoke my words, however this doesn’t apply only to Sam, but to any other troll in here, or wherever around the web globe. I’m afraid there are too many Sams in the world, and we can’t argue with or face them all. There’s no point in talking with a brickwall anyway.
Apparently, I will be here less often, that’s why I wrote this. Failblog is 95% down for me for the past 2 days, so there’s your reason. I guess I won’t be here to see some trolls getting owned. D:
I don’t understand. Why are you leaving exactly? We would like you to stay, we need you!
As a noob, I sincerely thank you for saying that, I’ve lurked and read Sam’s
“humorous” remarks, and am glad somebody is finally doing something about it.
hehe “it”
Shut up.
Blah Blah blah
Poor guy; left his fly open and no one’s noticed.
Win.
It seems to me a spider zipped into place to compensate.
anyone else reminded of cat’s cradle?
2nd!
*facepalm*
I actually *facepalm* too before reading your comment
lol
^ I’m with stupid. ^
no cookie for you, your third.
Has anybody seen Sam? I miss him so much…
Huh? Sam?
*looks around*
*sigh*
No one there. I thought I could smell him…
*looks around too*
*almost twists his neck*
*only sees kraut*
*thinks the smell comes from sam’s evaporated body*
*inhales deeply*
*looks around again*
*looks down at the floor*
Yes… this would explain that burnt spot too.
Thank’s Andrew, I just tought I’m gonna go crazy…
Damn wind blow.
epic fail.
Why not?
you mean you are property of copy/paste? what a coincidence, me to.
Ah, ok. But hey who cares about being first if there is no contest?
And there is nothing to win?
*shows his trophy*
See that? It’s made of pure gold!
*touches it*
It makes me feel all fuzzy inside :>
What is this supposed to mean? ^
I do get them all except ‘xD’.. But the order of those words makes no sense to me..
As hairy said. Your comment makes no sense. Even from a purely grammatical standpoint.
That sounds incredibly childish and petulant. Who cares if he used copy and paste, who cares who was first(apart from you)? Trying to/boasting about being first only highlights your immaturity.
*points to first comment on the page*
*sigh*
I like talking to Sam, it makes me feel so much more intelligent. I’m more mature than someone with a PhD in computer sciences!
That’s all it wants. You’re doing what it wants you to do. Does that really feel good? Another thing: As I said, it spoils the fun for many people here. Please stop.
Come on Arthur, leave the poor Sam alone !
He’s so young and bored !
That’s exactly what I’m doing.
Yes, let’s ALL leave it alone. Look how much space has been wasted on this page alone in pointless squabbles.
Arthur Eld the 1st – Dictator of failblog.
Doesn’t sounds so bad to me..
I’m not.
That does not makes it sound bad…
You’ve got my vote!
We’re voting in a dictator? Sweet!
yes. IN a dictator not for a dictator.
*Clarification: I meant voting a dictator into office.
:\ Sorry if shorting it to “voting in” caused confusion.
Okay, I will resort to begging. Pleaaaase don’t respond to the troll, even if it makes you feel good. The past few days have been revolving around her and that’s basically what she wants. She’s clearly a disturbed person and I wouldn’t be surprised (and I mean what I’m going to say now) if she’s suffering from a severe narcistic personality disorder (which you will be feeding if you give her any attention), possibly accompanied by sociopathic tendencies. I have had it up to here. As if it isn’t enough that I have to deal with these wackos in my professional life. I come here for the fun, goddammit! (Did that sound credible?)
Yes. I’ll join in the begging:
PleeeeeeeeeasePleeeeeeeeeasePleeeeeeeeease don’t reply!
yes…. very credible. : )
*Busts out 18th century medical books*
Hmm…the only cure I can find for mental disorders in these are to drill a hole in the head of the person suffering from the illness. Well, time to go find my 18th century drill…needs to be as close to the procedure in the book as possible.
*Walks off in search of drill*
Don’t forget the leaches for the bloodletting, too!
Don’t forget the leaches!
*Walks back in with a jar of leeches and a large drill*
Darn…forgot the hammer to administer the anesthesia. Can someone watch these for me while I go grab one?
*gets out his pestmask*
*blows off dust*
Ha, it has been too long, my trusted friend.
Does that make you copy-protected? Or does your owner not offer such?
I dont understand this picture
Does anybody understand it? If you do please tell me!!!
It’s a flesh eating plant. If it’s not covered by a spiderweb.
If it was a fles eating plant, wouldn’t it mean it eats cows or pigs and stuff like that? Flys and spiders aren’t real flesh to me… I’m so confused…
I don’t know if that was the correct English term for it. I just translated the word from a non-existing language.
You mean the non-existing term ‘fleischfressende Pflanze’ I guess…? It’s ok, that doesn’t make sense too.
You know you have to pay me for using my language, right? That’ll be ten Euro, please.
*hits forehead with heavy book*
Oh no… not again please.
*hits forehead again and again*
Bwaaahh… non-existing language cleared. From noe on I have my own languitsch dsgü dlf dslss ßßsba!
Now you have to pay ME. I own the rights to the “ß”.
Aaah… at least they can’t take my Ä!
*insane lough sounds from everywhere (in my head)*
*Just giggles*
You misspelt “läugh”.
*läughs öüt löüd*
That must be language from Scandinavia. No doubt.
I’m srrsly srry. I don’t know how to spell
in your language.
I will rely on your patience
and willingness to be bribed
with cookies.
OH YAY! Wasn’t me that misspelt.
That means I’m off the hook.
Cookies for all!
Sorry, I was eating so my pronounciation might have suffered a bit.
dragnet!
the inside of a flytrap looks a lot like bum cheeks.
you sure have an interesting vision on it.
I think that’s a win for flies…
I’m not sure if it matters to whether they’re eaten by a spider or a plant…
*matters to the flies
I’m not sure, I think the cool points or getting eaten by a fly trap are far greater than those by getting eaten by a spider.
*throws up an ‘f’ infront of or*
Oh, it does! The spider will numb you before it starts to disband and drink your guts. The plant won’t, instead it lets you die slowly by full consciousness.
Therefore I like drugs, I would chosse the spider.
In fact, I would choose. Time’s not right for chossing yet.
What consciousness? You’re a FLY.
O RLY?! DATS PHOTOSHOP! AH SWEAR!11!!!1
Dude, sarcasm.
Ah, well then… It is not sarcasm i meant that comment from the bottom of my heart and I think that you’ve shown me where my place is very well!
Thanks again Sammie.
Actually I’m pretty sure that WAS sarcasm, hence the all caps.
you<others<Venus Flyweb
*puts hand up for a high-five*
high five to that!
Down low!
*puts hand down*
Too slow!
*high fives you but misses and hits your nose*
Aw crap.
The shadows! It’s obvious!
PIXELS!
And the word “fail” on it is just such a dead giveaway.
Maybe under the word fail it is obvious that IS photoshop.
There where wrong shadows in it.. And he placed the word FAIL right the Shadows..
Spiderwebs on plants is RARE? Go outside much?
Not really. Fly gets stuck in web and falls into the mouth and cant really go anywhere from the web.
So its a win for the plant.
lol first
Unless if you’re not…FAIL
Nature fail
And now for the first time on the radio!!! ogloc! OWDJE LOAK!
Right…
Punch you in the face, gun in my waist.
Can’t remember any other lyrics from it.
4th
poor flower
There is no flower.
We’ve been rumbled, the fail is a plant.
That’s what i said!
‘Booby traps, that’s what I said!’
Sam i find you pretty annoying on Wednesdays. No offense.
*points to first comment on the page*
*scrolls up* *reads it* *scrolls back down*
Sorry, Arthur. Please call me names in German.
Klaus-Peter? Dieter? Manfred? Which one shall it be?
Ah, i prefer Manfred.
Is Johan a German name..? Always wondered…
Johannes, rather. But ‘Johan(n)’ wouldn’t raise eyebrows.
Thanks Arthur.
If I recall, Johannes refers to “son of Johann”, with the -es forming
some kind of genetive ending showing possession, right? At least
that’s what all the Johannes Brahms biographies say… Oh, this
is my first post on here, but I think at this point, I should refrain
from any reference to “FIRST”, “first”, or “first!”, for obvious reasons.
aha so where does the name Johan comes from? with one n?
Aha so this is your FURST!!!111!!!!!?
@Pierce: I’m not convinced that Johannes contains a genitif, as would be the case in the name Johansson (Johan’s son). It merely is the Greek version of the hebrew Johanaan. I have no idea why the “son of Johan” is repeated in Brahms biographies (and to my knowledge not in Bach biographies). It has little to do with the man or his music. This being said…Welcome!
Maybe they work together and maybe it is working. This could be the best invention since Failblog itself!
Exactly, any flies swooping under the web get caught by the plant! Genius!
What if they swoop above the web then? Does the spider lunge at them or something?
It throws spears made from the flytrap spikes.
Then they share the fly.
I thought it put the lotion on its skin. Hmmm.
It smears the flytrap with baconlube. . .
In order to trap and eat crayola crayons, no doubt.
Crayons are attracted by the smell of pig?
Dang! I’ve been away for over a month.
Can someone direct me to the
“baconlube” origins?
April 1st.
TY Muchly!
I am intrigued by this
wondrous product.
Is it good on web covered flytraps?
It’s good on everything! No problem a little Baconlube won’t solve!
*drools*
This comment isn’t here is it?
Oh yes. It’s one of their few flaws. They can’t resist.
Yes. They are. Much like trolls are.
Nah, the spider is very wise. He will probably write something like this in his notebook: A fly is just a fly until I and my dear friend Plant (a.k.a. flower) caught it.
There are more fishes in the sea. Many more.
And when the fly laughs at them he writes:
One who laughs last will laugh the best.
Maybe the spider is using the flytrap as some kind of George Foreman grilling/fat reducing device. The spider is on a size zero diet..
Education is the strongest weapon ~ Itsy bitsy.
Hello all . Hey where is my morning squeeze?.
Thanks Rigel for staying on topic again some of the
riddlen kids forgot their meds.lol.
Hello Sam, being picked on again and why.? It sounds
like you are a fly in the ointment. Don’t get
trapped.
I don’t think you deserve a squeeze yet.
Who’s Sam?
Who ever speaks the name of someone who doesn’t exist do not deserve a morning squeeze.
Besides, its 14:27 over here.
UK?
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her.
Wenn hinter Fliegen Fliegen fliegen, fliegen Fliegen Fliegen hinterher.
(untranslatable)
Se dietro le mosche le mosche pilotano in seguito, pilotano le mosche delle mosche?
Surely.
Definitely. Maybe.
Aha there is a dutch version of that:
er vliegen 2 vliegen, daar was een bij bij. Ze vlogen onder de deur deur en over de weg weg
Means: 2fly’s where flying there was a bee among them. Ty leave by flying under the door. And flying away over the road. (sounds wierd… because it IS wierd)
Ooooh. We can have a multilingual collection of fly jokes
I am currently trying to translate in Papiamento.
I failed.
Nice try…here is a cookie for your effort.
*Hands Hairy a cookie*
Just a warning…not one I baked myself…those would be inedible and likely poisonous to all who tried to eat them.
Als vliegende vliegen achter vliegende vliegen vliegen vliegen de vliegende vliegen vliegensvlug.
(“When flying flies fly behind flying flies, the flying flies fly very fast.”)
“Flyg fula fluga flyg, och den fula flugan flög.” Is my Swedish contribution to this highly enlightening and educational discussion.
Then why the baby talk?
The fail! Don’t you forget it!
*wags finger*
Wanneer achter vliegen vliegen vliegen, vliegen vliegen vliegen achterna.
(HA !)
Now translate it into English, please.
When behind fly fly fly, fly fly fly after them?
Vreemd, ik heb plots zo’n zin in vlaai.
When pies fly?
hmm.. roomvlaai
This is an insult to all believers of the only existing language! Apologize now or fear the force of ßöärtl!
In that case I will just fear the force of ßöärtl!
*trembles*
*quakes*
*gamma ray bursts*
*SPRATZEL* (sound of brain-melting ray of the great forces of ßöärtl)
if a chicken and a half lays a egg and a half in a
day and a half, how long will it take for a spider
to kick the seeds out of dill pickle.?
You didn’t mention the fail. Stay on topic, please.
there is a spider web drawn into it lol i think.
Can’t think. Laughing
It shouldn’t take the spider very long after all it has 8 legs…
the picture is actually poison ivy on steroids.
What, not cute car designs today?
Yes it is. They made a spoiler out of webs. Buffoons. LOL.
I’m sorry, I’ve forgotten how to talk.
What I think nobody has realized is that the spider would have had to make that web while on the venus fly trap; therefore the fly trap failed to catch the spider.
It’s a FLY trap not a spider-trap.
Im sure it eats spiders too.
Did you ever ask one?
………………your mother.
My mother has nothing to do with this.
Well…technically it doesn’t matter what falls into the Fly trap’s “mouth” as long as it is able to stimulate the hairs inside the fly trap’s “mouth.” If it stimulates those hairs then the mouth will close. Of course we don’t actually see the spider here, so it might have fallen into the trap and was eaten after releasing some of its webbing.
<–I’ve taken way too many biology classes where this has been explained…
I had the same lessons. But if the mouth would have closed. The web would be broken right? so maybe the spiders just left for a afternoon walk.
Spiderman did it. No part of him touched the inside of the mouth. Therefore the web stayed in place.
I’m not necessarily sure they would have broken. They would likely have gotten tangled (though these look fairly tangled as it as) because they were not as taut as they were before but in my experience it is remarkably hard to actually break the webbing. You can rip it off its grounding point but I don’t think I’ve seen it broken.
I’ve taken the liberty to decide to make this one reply to this one comment today.
Mostly on the basis that your right, but also on the basis that your name is ‘Noghri’ .
If spiders can be precise enough to avoid (after memorizing where they are) the sticky patches on their webs, then surely they could avoid the hairs long enough to place their web (considering they knew to do so, or were able to distinguish the placement of the hairs.)
Ofcourse the latter is also a posibility.
Well…glad to see I’m not completely making this up.
Also glad that someone else recognizes the name.
Retardo fail…
This is gong to sound stupid, but how do you choose an avatar?
Go to gravatar.com. Do what they want you to do. If you have killed the person they told you to kill you’ll get an avatar. We all have done it.
What he said.
Those poor pixelized animals…
Register your email with gravatar.com and select a picture.
Your username here doesn’t have to match the one you use with gravatar.
there is a familiar scent in the air guys, but i cant put my finger on it? any ideas?
Try to put your finger on something else. This is an unsolvable mystery.
i agree
*rides off into the sunset on faithful steed*
*cries..*
*Then yells as hard as possible*
You forgot me! You promised me a ride.
*little softer*
Scum!
*almost whispering*
Don’t leave me alone in the desert… please?
*turns around with a faint smile*
*trots up to you*
*extends a hand to get on*
*rides off to live happily ever after*
*Is so happy that he feels tears in his eyes*
*buys a private island and tells you to clean the bathrooms*
*walks to the strip club in the living room*
Why a private island?
I want a pirate island.
fine you clean the bilges, and ill check the booty
Y’arrr! Ya lizardy SWOB! wawk the plank! Matey!
No please! you can have some booty too, just dont make me wawk the pwank…
… matey…
Rightheey then. Scrub the deck beforrr I feed you to the FIshies! Y’arrr
eye eye cap’n
*walks away in shame*
*wondering y i saved you from the desert*
eye eye! I only have 1 eye! scrub faster!!
Ya saved me fraaawwm the deserrrt but that costed me mah leg!
Y’arrrrrr MUTNEY!!!
*parrot says* Bwaaaak! walk the planK! walk the planK! bwaaak!
Shut y’ar trap me parrot or my next meal is birrd steak!
*walks in while your asleep*
*knife in hand*
*looks at you for about an hour before realizing i cant do it*
…. The next morning…..
ME BIRD IS DEAD! I am no longer a pirate.
From now on I will live my life as a young but talented business man.
My men! For all yarrr hard word I will share all the treasure
we have from those 20minutes of robbing.
Thank ye.
*chuckles at the dead bird*
*rides off into the sunset on faithful steed*
-
-
-
*smiling*
*sighs*
That was a hell of an adventure for a Wednesday!
to be continued…
dammit noooo…
Why are all the good stories always “to be continued”…
blah blah blah
That, my friend is the cloying scent of ignorance.
Hey guys, I’m a long time reader, first time poster. Leave the troll alone and pay attention to me instead
Okay, can do.
)
Welcome!
Ehm…wait a moment: “outcast6″? You haven’t been banned elsewhere, have you? (
Ahaha no, Its my Gamer tag from Xbox live. “Outcast” was taken, and 6 is my fav number so i tried it and it worked. Just stuck by me as a staple now and its kinda iconic too (To my clan mates and friends)
My gamertag is possibly the coolest gamertag on all of X box live. It is LARRYBIRDISGOD.
No.
*Pays attention in small denominations.*
Srry, all I have is loose change.
Yeah that’s fine, i can exchange it at the first national bank of Bachiatari Konekopolis later!!
Thank you.
Uh, guys? I think it’s an aphid web, not a spider web. Aphids are itsy bitsy even for insects and as such wouldn’t weigh enough to activate the trapping mechanism. That makes it a non-fail. Sorry.
I think it was made by a spider with a MASSIVE spoiler on it.
An aphid web? If that’s how you want to ‘ave it.
Well, thanks for trying to make this not funny. Maybe now you can say it’s photoshopped.
PHOTOSP! LOZLZ!!!!!1111!!!!!1!2!!!one11!!!!
Can any1 else not see Sams posts? Maybe my pc installed its own anti-retard troll system
Guinea pig says: pah pah pah.
Just checking to see if my new name and Gravitar work.
Name does, avatar doesn’t unless you choose the same one as the you already had.
What if I did?
Then its working better than expected
Then i did work. The avatar looks good.
It didn’t work.
I was just trying to not look dumb.
*tests avatar*
It can take a while to work. It took mine about 30 mins to kick in.
thx for the info..
we’ll see it happen sometime
are more people getting avatars because of sam? heaven forbid!
No one knows sam here.. who might he be?
An avatar can only be taken by the true minded..
An avatar must be taken when needs and wants meet each other.
I likes dragons <3
You will soon meet one.
Third!
Man thats some sweet victory.
Also, arent Venus fly traps all about eating people?
Serious answers plz.
In the future they will devour human flesh. And also be the cure to Aids.
Actually in the future they will be extinct….. No joke just from pollution and shit. Its actually really sad.
Pollution is a goverment conspiracy to get you to share beer bottles with hobos.
And plaque is a conspiracy purpetrated by the dental industry to trick you into buying useless appliances and pastes.
Can’t say I blame them, human flesh is damn tasty!
*walks into the room*
my name is hannible lector, nice to meet you all, what were you talking about?
Spiders.
Flesh-eating, sex-promoting super plants.
ah…
*leavs room in a hurry*
-
-
hey guys, this scary looking guy just ran away, did you threaten to eat him again?
The Usual.
wow
*walks away*
*slowly*
Movement! FEED!
*cries as he is being ripped limb from limb*
Agreed. that’s kind of strange… because snot tastes delightful!
Especially Japanese people, acording to cannabilists.
Is this about eating them?
Definately. Maybe.
Well sure, who doesn’t enjoy Japanese food?
yeah but you have to eat them raw.
Delightful!
Sushi!
Such majestic creatures. See how they frolic in the afternoon sun, studying genetic theory and ‘how to catch people’ books.
And “How to cure Aids”.
Not that it’ll help us much, as the moment we get close we get eaten. Mother natures way of saying “HA You’re all gonna get Aids!”
I think I may need to amend my name. I must add AND Poor Little Spiders even though I am deathly afraid of them.
where can i send my money to? I want to help boycotting baconlube.
I also wish to sign up for this baconlube boycott. Baaad pat experiences.
Hairy and gaynorvader, the movement has begun. There will be a demonstration scheduled in different parts of the world. I would love for you to join me.
-
DOWN W BACONLUBE!!!!!
Just tell me when and where, I’ll bring the bread rolls.
Why down with baconlube!?!?!?! Can you imagine how hard it will be to insert the potato?!?! (quenches buttox thinking of pain)
Yes, pat said it was rather degrading, too.
You know, you could save time, and just put ‘and FOR the Humane Treatment of *insert most relevant failblog creature here* even though i am entirely unaware of my opinions of them at this time.’
TY hawkeye. I’ve taken your advise.
We don’t have time for your hippie bullcrap!!! Nuke the whales!!
hippie bulls are your best friend.
I am not a hippie!
Plus, I shave my legs and pits AND wear deodorant every day. *stomps out of room to go cry*
Ah, a new age “sexy” hippie so.
Oh, you are so evil!!!
Being a hippie isn’t a bad thing. I think hippies are sexy, the way they make their own soap.
If they make their own soap then why are they so smelly? *stereotyping fail*
Smelly soap?
The soap they make smells worse than B.O. So it only adds to the problem. I think its made of natural animal fat (from little piggies).
I am going to contact a therapist for you. I think it’s for the best. Meanwhile, take two of these pills.
Psst, call me a name. I want an epithet.
czuhc you.
(Actually, I don’t know how to pronounce your name, czuhc. I always read it as IPA /zuk/ but could it be /tʃuk/ or something longer?
*throws ) up there and hopes it won’t boomerang*
In my head, I pronounce your name “Chuck”
Condor
czuhc, I don’t think you will like the name I pick for you.
curse weasel?
George, the huggable and kissable
Reporting for duty.
Hmm…if his name is to be believed it means the trolls are organizing…is that even possible?
Scroll down just a little bit my dear Noghri.
Well…we have a few options here.
1.) We can start killing them off one by one
2.) We can abandon this thread and hope it gets nuked before the trolls multiply too much and spread to other threads.
3.) We can ignore them and hope the lack of attention causes them to whither and die.
4.) We can kill their leader and hope they dissolve into a bunch of squabbling mini trolls (This of course would require us to move to a safe distance while the thread got nuked.)
ALL of the above.
۞۞۞۞۞۞ Star General
——————————
And what are you doing here on your day off!
Well.. sigh..
As you are here, get rid of all failing trolls.. this is a direct order!
I was watching a ‘little Britain’ DVD yesterday..
Then i saw in the subtitles when vicky pollard says: or something or nothing. Really quick the subtitles say: sumlethefan.
No idea why i am saying this.
I once saw an early Cronenberg film (forgot which) in which a man says “Can I use the phone?”. This was subtitled “Ben jij Defoe?” (“Are you Defoe?”)
Oh My God! they’re multiplying!!!!
This is my last post in this fail. I’m getting frustrated from everyone making the trolls stronger by reacting on them.
*whispers* (It’s okay, they were just clones)
Same feeling here.
Run!
Women, children and Gothic Emos 1th!
Yes 1th, not 1st.
it is most unfortunate that you found my cloning lab, it is a matter of national security, i will have to kill you now.
*pulls out shotgun*]
BOOM HEADSHOT
BOOM HEADSHOT
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Snipe!
*falls to death*
*willing my creations to take over the world*
You tard you killed the venus fly trap!
D:
YOU MONSTER!
*cries at your feet*
How about 2th (tooth) ?
no 4rd, (ford)
Actually, that is a leaf on the venus fly trap plant, not a “mouth”. so this really was a background research fail.
… thats the mouth dude.
My step-mum owns a Venus fly trap.
She loves to tease it… that evil woman.
oops nvm… it is a “mouth”, i’m used to the inner part of it being red or orange. background research fail belongs to me.
All your background research fails are belongs to me.
Are there vegetarian venus fly traps?
that is another form of cannabilism
Only if they eat their own kind. I eat pig meat.
i guess, thnx 4 the buzzkill,
*runs away in shame*
It wasn’t me! It was the insecticide I used in my hair!
i dont want lice!
*still running away*
You should try putting insecticide in your hair then. 97.4% of arachnids recommend it!
*starts gagging on fumes*
no…cough… ill stick to … cough… name brand.
I OBJECT!!!
But I do! Only after they’re dead of course. It tastes salty!
What am I going to do with you?
Someone prepare the chainsaws.
Chainsaws?! Aww man, all I have are these lousy chainGUNs! *reloads dejectedly*
I’ll take one of those
*Starts chainsaw*
*Promptly Cuts off Foot*
WAIT! Wait wait wait!
This is called a Venus FLY trap, not an Venus Spider Trap!
It all makes sense now!
Revelation Fail? : p
B I N G O and bingo was his name-O!
BUT, do they get flies on Venus?
Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
There’s an Ant on my Mars though.
There’s a Dec on my Snickers.
Thats no Dec! Thats Mr T!
Hee!
Didn’t expect that.
You are right. I’m sorry.
No. They don’t. The flies would have to be moving constantly in an atmosphere they could not survive in, in the first place. Sulfuric Gases and Acid rain.
Nope, only spiders and flying pigs.
BUT, What do they call Venus Flytraps on venus. Or flies for that matter. Would that just make them traps? General Ackbar would dissaprove
Admiral Ackbar…
Yeah…..My mistake.
Its Still a trap!
BUT, What do they call Venus Flytraps on venus. Or flies for that matter. Would that just make them traps? General Ackbar would disaprove
Yes, Moomin. I was there once. They’re AMAZING! Venusian flies. You’ve never seen anything like them. I would describe them to you, but the crayon smell is really starting to kick in now and I’m not sure how much longer I ca
if you scroll through these quickly the left side makes a wave.
Yes
MOOMIN!!!!!
TSUNAMI!
This site is getting out of control! Too many people are here now. I just came to this fail and it's already close to 400 comments. Fail Blog admin, please extend the limit!
The Sam clones dont help anyone.
Question. Why dont trolls just get banned rather than deleted posts?
Deletion/ban could be based on the IP address. Who is to say the trolls won’t attempt to log from a different computer though? Hmmmm…. *planning destruction of trolls and their clones*
Yeha but eventually they’ll run out of PCs to troll from.
And they probably live under a bridge so there wont be many PCs.
HI NINJA!!!
If you extend it then more trolls will show up.
Behead the Troll in question, then seal the wounds with a torch. It stops there Regenerative powers
I have this theory that there are no trollS, but one single troll in charge of many computers living in his mothers basement in secret. More secret than area 51.
That single troll must have a bad case of multiple personality syndrome, and Degenerative spelling disorder
HI LEILA!!!
this is true ninja, more people will come on just to say the obvious instead of the random.
it wont be aany fun anymore.
The pessimist sees it as Fly Trap Fail
The optimist as Lightfooted Spider Win
Actually, the Sam clones were me impersonating Sam. I seem to have done a good job. Also, the original seems to have disappeared. Maybe I left him on the copier.
It seems to have failed to seal the deal.
It looks like the Venus flytrap won, but the spider failed…
That is wrong on many levels.
THAT VENUS FLYTRAP IS AN IDIOT!
I do not believe this is a fail! And here is why.
The way that venus fly traps work is they have three trigger hair on each side of the trap. You can see them here on each modified leaflet (Yes, believe it or not, the trap is considered a modified leaf).
While the spider may elude the venus fly trap for a bit of time, when the spider web catches a insect, that insect is likely to struggle. As the insect struggles and the spider moves out to retrieve it’s meal, it is very likely they will touch one of the “trigger hairs”. The trigger hairs trigger a change in turgor pressure (the pressure of water inside cells) and cause the plant to close!
This is why, it seems to me, that this venus fly trap is not a fail. It is likely it will get double the meal!
Of course though, fly traps don’t really “eat” insects or need to. Carnivorous plants usually only trap insects because they grow in nitrogen depleted soils. They still carry out photosynthesis.
FAIL (:
Monitor fail. You fail at life (:
u
good pic
This is likely the most beautiful fail I’ve ever seen.
i think this is a win on the spiders behalf
i think the first guy needs some social skills. HOW CAN HE CONTROL THE CUTE AND INSANE?!
Caption fail. Opportunistic spider Win.
I think it is a spider win!
If it’s so fail, where’s the spider?
how do u get an avatar?
(im kinda new here)
How do you GET an avatar?
Read the first page.
Go to gravatar.com, ragister your email and pick a picture to use.
Flytrap fail, spider web win.
+1
Spyder Win!!! lol
Looks like Spider Mites to me… they’re physically small enough to not trigger the hairs of the Flytrap…
(actual spider webbing would be more silk-like in appearance and shine in the sun that’s there)
So… a clever photo, but it’s not technically a fail… more an inconvenience… like trolls in these forums. =)
I don’t think this is Photoshopped. The webbing is incredibly detailed, weaving between the leaf spines and also slightly out of focus in the foreground. That would be *very* tricky to fake. And as for shadows, not only are the threads so fine that shadows would be pretty much invisible, but the parts of the leaf we can actually see are either already in shadow or reflecting light, making any web shadows there might be impossible to detect anyway.
I think this is real, and it’s lovely.
Spider WIN
*TOTAL* Spider win!!!
I don’t accept this as a Venus Fly Trap Fail until I actually see the spider alive and well. Until then I’m taking it as a spider fail.
nice picture
cute
whwre you take it? I like it
Spider win
Spider win for now.. Spider FAIL when he goes to get her bug..
lulz….ks
Photoshop.
Dude, every single ‘regular’ here is a spamming troll. That is sad. Very rarely does any given comment section contain relevant comments. The failblog comment sections are actually worse than Youtube’s. Well done, trolls.
According to my tally, Velvet and Ed are the current lead troll spammers, although every regular deserves honourable mention. It’s almost funny how so much comment is devoted to trolls, by trolling spammers.
At any rate, it seems the spider is violating zoning laws.
Technically thats a win for the Spider!!!!!!!!
why are the comments for this picture so irrelevant?
SPIDER WIN LOL!!
Now…is it Flytrap fail, or spider win?
animal beats plant again…
… ha ha, stupid plant.
fail and win at the same time, seems to me. or maybe it’s a battle that neither side has won yet? after all, venus could eat the spider…
uh not really a Fail cause obviously the way the leaves of that head are bent back and under it’s towards the end of it’s life and not going to close…so yeah there’s no way it close around the spider.
Okay, you’re forgiven. I’m back. Maybe Mr. Flytrap is a vegetarian. Even worse, a vegan.
#37
This isn’t Flytrap Fail, this is Spider Epic Success!
Don’t you have to touch those prongs inside of it for it to trap you? :\\
*stamps fail on person who posted this*
Lol this is a first.
smart spider…. maybe too smart….!
look good
babushka FTW… btw this is sowfa king we tawl did…
*reaches for new tub of bacon lube*
the full eye would obviously have seen the sale on bake on loob at teh Porky Rhines’ Overstalked Bacon Lube Emporium..
*points to label on tub*
It’s obvious taht a fly couldn’t pass on these savings…
*holds it up*
just look at dem deelzse..
*places finished tub in trash*
*turns to reach for new tub*
*finds PRO-BLE tub cerca 1923*
*turns back*
mmm.. gewd year. now if you’ll excuse me…
nice pic !
That might be more of a spider fail, it will probably get eaten along with the fly!
This is not a venus fly trap fail. This is a spider win.
More like spider win…
You guys I think it’s either a cobweb or from a certain moth. It’s too thick and together.
Thanks for some other excellent article. The place else may anybody get that kind of information in such a perfect way of writing? I have a presentation subsequent week, and I’m on the search for such information.
Epic.
*loads his .45*
Get a life.
Wow I see your missing a chain
USSR > The rest of the world >Me > A bug > A prostitute > You >something > something else.
you’re*
Don’t forget “PMSing OTR byotch”.