hello,help please,i was trying to close this window of this blog site for hours now,i tried everything nothing would work,please help me how can i close it ?
Oh, and I remember hearing a while ago that the association of the people who make prunes wanted to officially change their name to ‘dried plums’ because the name ‘prune’ had a negative connotation.
What? Trees? Are we killing more evil horrible trees? (I have a thing against trees. One fell on me, it was 600′ tall. It hurt; I mentioned it a few fails ago).
*takes photos of McFail and sends to the New York Times, The LA Times, The Times, The Daily Telegraph, The Sun, the Financial times and The Daily Mail*
outcast6, I – Whoa Nellie, Grand Supreme Imperial Sovereign Yotkenator and Occasional Doorman, officially welcome you to FAILblog.
You are an outcast no more.
Oh. Wait.
Yes you are.
*Feels that he doesn’t need an avatar*
Any trolls who focus on the lack of avatar will be drawn to me and then I will destroy them with logic and reason. Or a blunt object…
It is fun to mess with their little minds though. Occasionally one tries to parse what we’ve said and you can almost see the smoke pouring from their ears!
I do not know how you cook yours Avis but try this; eggs and milk on separate plates; a flip flop in the milk then a flip flop in the eggs; put on a medium hot, buttered griddle till golden on each side.
I make mine a little differently. I make a custard of milk, eggs, cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla, soak the bread, and then do the buttered griddle thing.
Great. I was just checking to see what was going on, before I go to bed and ran across this. Now I’m seriously thinking of food! Thanks a lot, you guys.
I’ll just try different things and post replies on here if that’s ok for you? Hopefully I’ll figure things out somehow, sometime, someday, something, someone
I resent your insinuation that 5-year-olds are less intelligent than normal adults. Being intelligent and acting like a 5-year-old are not mutually exclusive.
.
PANCAKES! Gimme!
*revels in the chocolatey chipity goodness*
YAYZ! Gimme some please! *takes some* My gosh, I have so many ways to say this! So thank you! Gracias! Merci! Danke! Grazie! Obrigado! ありがとう! 谢谢! Вы! Σας ευχαριστούμε! 7|-|4/\/|< |_|!
*gapes at dragon in her natural environment*
*puts on an Aussie accent*
this is how the female dragon shows its dominance over its main prey the flapjacks
ooh she just tore a chunk out of that one
*Runs away just in case*
Grabs some pancakes, after first thanking DTI for her beautiful looks, and um *stares* pancakes, yes um pancakes. Thanks DTI, grabs extra fork and begins chowing down.
All right, well it’s time for Diana to go do a real workout to shed some of the real calories she has consumed lately. Ta ta, all! Don’t fight over the pancakes – I left a big stack on the table here with the syrups and compote. Avis, I’m leaving you in charge of them.
My aunt did this same thing, but she flipped out so much that she kicked out the back window of her brand new van. xD we always make fun of her. “I’M LOCKED IN MY CARRRR”
*unleashes the Blog Ninja’s weakness mantra*
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Well, don’t you know about the bird
Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
Too awesome. I know exactly where the Wal-greens is she’s calling from, right on the border of Kissimmee and Poinciana. Not surprising at all, the median IQ of people living in that area is around 75, although it IS surprising that a mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragger from that area can afford a car with power options.
My remote suddenly stopped working two months ago (yes, I checked the batteries, that’s not the problem) and I have to go to the Comcast payment center to exchange it. The weather hasn’t been all that great and stuff has come up. Sad to say, but simply for that reason, I have watched considerably less TV. I wish I had a better reason for it.
I just got rid of my cable waaaaaaaay back in 2000.
Haven’t missed it No reception at all without cable where I am.
Netflix fills in what little gap there is…
Any series or movie I ever wanna see is easily available for a reasonably low price from Netflix. And I need not subject myself to lamestream media blather and propaganda, ridiculously silly sitcoms, or disgusting advertisements. Let alone PAY for such things!
LOL – only way ta fly…
I pay $18 a month for three DVDs at a time, unlimited returns and new selections. In other words, they constantly have three checked out to me, but when I finish one I send it back and get another. If I return one on Monday I’ll have the new one by Wednesday
Whoever’s in charge of video at failblog is just… well… failing. There’s nothing rubbisher than a video with stills! If it’s just audio, just put your logo on the screen and leave it there, give us enough credit that we can follow a phone conversation without a load of unrelated pictures.
Weird, when I check on my profile at WordPress, which seems to have something to do with FB and Gravatar, I can see my avatar. But when I comment on here I can’t! Something magic is going on
And guess what! No way, Achwel is too retarted to get an avatar! Wow, I’ve got to tell ALL my friends about this. Behold, O mighty Achwel, we have been awaiting. You will and shall make the prophety become true and complete.
Jeez
“Corner of John Young Parkway.” Ahh only in Orlando Florida. The state that gives you a lady calling 911 because she didn’t get lemonade at a drive thru, and a guy calls the police on the fact he can’t get chicken nuggets. Those are real emergencies, Y’all!
*talking in low volume* Um..Hi guys..I have been reading the comments for a while, and i think there pretty funny..But this is my first time actually saying anything.
I use to work at AAA. I had a guy call once say he couldn’t get into his car. I asked if he locked his keys inside, he said no. I asked if he lost his keys. He said no. He has the keys but the battery in the remote died. I asked, did you put the key in the door? He said, What? I said, see that little slot by the door-put the key in there and turn. Two seconds later he says, “WOW! Thank you my friend, thank you!”
I hope the dispatcher sent a unit anyway, if possible. That woman doesn’t sound like she was fit to drive. She may have been able to start the car and try to go somewhere.
Phone conversation: funny.
Pictures: stupid.
Red car, then black car. And the black car is the kind where the doors retract underneath – you can tell by the extra flap of flooring.
Now THAT’S security!
We should get one here to keep out the trolls
I agree. Bigger lock though, with a heavier chain.
Large nails, bent over, would help too.
Electrifying would be useful as well.
Oh well i feel that it would be the most effective to have a fire to distract those ADD kids.
hello,help please,i was trying to close this window of this blog site for hours now,i tried everything nothing would work,please help me how can i close it ?
1) Restart your computer
2) Insert potato
If you could do #2, why would you even need a computer?
I was gonna suggest beating it with a hammer, or eating gifted children
What in f*cking Hell is this?!3) wait for reinforcements
4) ????
5) PROFIT!
I’m glad I scrolled down…I was SO going to do the same thing up there, :p
thanks ! the potato helped alot !
lol insert potato
where can i find a potato??
1. Go to the command prompt
2. type “format C:”
3. all your problems will disappear!
(also works if you’re having problems with Vista)
1. go to the command prompt
2. type “format C:” without the quotes
3. all your wildest dreams will come true
(this is also the best fix for Vista)
I like EGGS!!!!!!!!
Speaking of [racial slur deleted].
I have a feeling what that racial slur is, and you better watch it.
*makes an “I’m watching you” movement with fingers*
Wow, I have JUST the forum you should gtfback to! They totally won’t rip you to shreds or ban you for being a redundant new*** retard! You should go.
I like turtles.
But why is it in video?
If you have the technology…
DUH! I don’t have the sound on. *punches herself in the mouth*
I don’t even HAVE sound, LEILA.
Sad, just sad.
*hands LEILA tooth from where it fell on floor*
Indeed. TY for my toof.
I can recommend a good dentist. Here’s his number.
*gives business card to LEILA*
… you can rebuild him?
It’s a Major repair job. Wait till you see the bill.
^*puts a “$” at the end of Major*
We can make him better, stronger, faster than he was before.
Daftly, I hope he’s harder as well…
You have to listen to it, it is about my mom getting locked in her car.
Nice! lol that must’ve been funny
was this really your mom?
i know where this is.
She should eat more gifted children.
God bless the united states of america.
How do you guys manage to breathe?
Fiirst
Shit second
After some fiber I suppose.
Or prunes.
Or Bran flakes.
Or EGGs
or chicken,yum
EGGS are baby chickens
Only chicken eggs.
And even then, only the fertilized ones.
Man, I could really go for some chicken ova right about now…
Mmmm, chicken period.
Did you know that many do not know where prunes derive from?
-
Can I end my sentence with ‘from’? It doesn’t sound right.
“Bob! You’re an agent of the United States government! Don’t end your sentence with a preposition!”
Yeah…end it with a proposition!
Beavis and Butthead!
I only know this because my wife just got it on Netflix for some reason
Yay! Someone got the reference!
Hurray for being educated by Beavis and Butthead!
Well to be honest, that joke felt completely out of place in that movie. Probably the funniest thing in the entire movie though.
LoL, your wife.
So grapes can’t get married, even in Iowa?
or prostitution… got to have a working class.
From where prunes derive: potatoes?
Potatoes are for insertion only. Prunes are for exits.
I knew potatoes couldn’t be far behind.
Pun win!!!
So the potatoes that shoot out of my cars muffler originate from the gas tank? O_o
Oh, and I remember hearing a while ago that the association of the people who make prunes wanted to officially change their name to ‘dried plums’ because the name ‘prune’ had a negative connotation.
Only to people who don’t appreciate Frank Zappa.
Overated.
Sez you.
Ooof! I overated and now I’m waaaaay too full.
*offers DW a prune*
No thanks. But I’ll take a dried plum.
Poor Frank
unappreciated to the end.
I read about that – Dave Barry did a column on it – and apparently it was a big deal to the FDA or whoever is in charge of that.
It was a big deal, my partner lost his badge because of it.
*peers around Diana’s kitchen for baked goods*
*gets caught*
em…
That’s an interesting wrinkle to the story. I’d be interested in knowing more about it if you’d like to elaborate.
Wooo! Dave Barry is one of my favo(u)rite writers!
*Makes a mental note to not use any of his jokes anymore without referencing him*
He’s why I call my Daisy my “auxiliary backup dog”.
Matt
January 14th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
This is taped the door to my dorm room. It makes me choke with laughter after a long day of crunching equations.
^First^
You taped this video to your door?I actually see what iamsofakingreadtoddit has just done. That comment was the first comment ever on Failblog. You can see it at Classic Baby fail.
Ahhh, I see. I think this idea was brought up when 'he who shall not be named' was around'.I am soooooooooo cornfused!!
*bangs head against handy door frame*
Cornfused? Sweet, a delicious Corn/WhoaNellie hybrid. Does that come in ears?
*eyes DTI comment somewhat aghast*
*refuses to answer*
If you really are, I suggest searching for “Classic Baby Fail”, and looking at the very first comment on it.
*beats down extra ‘ with nunchucks*
*applies band-aid to extra ‘ *
Give it no mercy!What? Trees? Are we killing more evil horrible trees? (I have a thing against trees. One fell on me, it was 600′ tall. It hurt; I mentioned it a few fails ago).
Just the evil horrible trees, of course.
Voldemort?
Go, cuddles, go!!!
Woooo!! *dons cheerleader uniform and does some high-kick tricks for mr. cuddles*
*videos*
Revenge for the Ankle photos!
*runs to broadcast it on tofulator*
Moomin, you ain’t got nothing on me!
No, but I can photoshop baconlube and potatoes.
*squeeze*
Pfft, no one will believe that anyway *squeeze*
*cries softly into videocamera*
Aww, don’t cry my Moomin. *squeeze* *Moomin pops into air because he’s coated in BaconLube™* I got ya! *catches Moomin in a tight bear hug*
*snorksqueeze*
*takes photos of McFail and sends to the New York Times, The LA Times, The Times, The Daily Telegraph, The Sun, the Financial times and The Daily Mail*
Star Tribune!You called?
No, I called the Star Tribune, not Starfish. But stick around, I might call you later.Stick around. LMAO. Of course I will.
WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Lookin’ good, McFail!!
Now we just need a male cheerleader for mr. cuddles to ogle
Where’s Bod when we really need him?
Poor mr. cuddles *squeeze*
*dons cheerleader uniform, baconlube and potatoes*
*dances*
*cartwheels*
*slides and falls*
*takes photo*
*steals photo to blow up to poster size and hang on bedroom wall*
Now that’s my kind of cheerleader!
*squeezes ankle with baconlubed hand*
*squeezes BaconLube™ covered Moomin* Careful, my ankles are very ticklish, just like my knees.
Moomin, I can see your….well, um starfish.
And here comes Xiao Pangzi, the small fat man!
Look at those rolls flapping around in the wind!
Give me an A!
*silence*
*jumps into air*
*rolls clap*
EEEWWW! That was mental image I did NOT need!
For some reason that mental image made me laugh. It made me laugh a lot…
*GASPS* I finally sponsored a fail!!!! I’m so excited!
Speech, speech, speech
I don’t even remember saying that, hahah! But my brain definitely imploded after listening to that call.
*remembers to squeeze magnificent mr. cuddles*
*SQUEEZE!*
Way to go, mr. cuddles!! Woohoo!
*bows to a sponser*
And a curtsey cause I haven’t been responsering lately.
now WHAT’S security?
the…the.. chain and lock? o.o
In my experience, it’s just not enough. You need rattlesnakes and a ring of fire.
Wow lol, just wow
Ah, the sweet sadness of a failed palindrome.
This is not going to end well.
Few things really do.
That happend to my Mom.
After I happened to your mom
Really so your my dad?? I have been looking for you
Nope. Im just the guy plowing your mother.
ahah, I sound like a troll
Well you have fun with that Jake!
FRIST!!!!
Hey, may I join the fb community?
I’ve read a few (hundred) comments and you seem like nice people, exept from Sam of course..
Sure! And welcome! Watch out for the trolls, they are legion.
We highly recommend gravatar.com for those who plan to stick around…
Welcome
*Ponders usage of an avatar*
Why was i not told of this “gravatar.com” when i joined? Was curious how you got an avatar
Did you ask?
Did Achwel?
Achwel had a prettier generated avatar.
Blue is purdy!
Refresh my memory, did you “introduce” yourself as pleasantly as Achwel?
I introduced my self as “Hey guys, I’m a long time reader, first time poster. Leave the troll alone and pay attention to me instead
” In the VFT one
VFT? Venus Fly Trap? Huh! I wasn’t here yet today. Who was the troll?
Erm, the one that most everyone clashed with over the past few days. “Small Annoying Mosquito”
A most excellent Acronymous explanation
outcast6, I – Whoa Nellie, Grand Supreme Imperial Sovereign Yotkenator and Occasional Doorman, officially welcome you to FAILblog.
You are an outcast no more.
Oh. Wait.
Yes you are.
see!! Now THATS a welcome! *Takes off hat and bows* Thank you greatly.
*pops into thread*
*waves to noobs*
Nice to meetcha!
*pops back out*
Of course, we encourage newcomers. First, you need an avatar. Go to gravatar.com. Have fun!
*Feels that he doesn’t need an avatar*
Any trolls who focus on the lack of avatar will be drawn to me and then I will destroy them with logic and reason. Or a blunt object…
Noghri, you are, of course, an entirely different matter. We bask in the (somewhat brown) glow of your generated avatar
Hehe…probably not a good thing to be basking near.
I recommend the latter, as the former tends to fail to penetrate their idiocy/ignorance shields.
Utilization of blunt objects occurs if the attempts to convert/redeem/dissolve the trolls with logic are a failure.
It is fun to mess with their little minds though. Occasionally one tries to parse what we’ve said and you can almost see the smoke pouring from their ears!
Especially amusing when the troll’s head explodes due to the heavy strain.
Inflatables do tend to do that.
Okay, that made me laugh. An extra pancake to you
Aw, thank you!
*wanders off to find a table at which to eat*
*Gives seat to Avis*
You just want the stack of pancakes unguarded, don’t you?
Hey!! Avis!! LOOK OVER HERE!!!!!
Oh just go take the pancakes already! I’d go insane if I tried to fend you all off at once!
I think I just realized something about DTI’s name.
Actually, I am craving French Toast made with Challah Bread sliced thick. It has been too long since I’ve made that for breakfast.
*wipes drool off of keyboard* That sounds… yummy!
I may have to try that someday!
I do not know how you cook yours Avis but try this; eggs and milk on separate plates; a flip flop in the milk then a flip flop in the eggs; put on a medium hot, buttered griddle till golden on each side.
I make mine a little differently. I make a custard of milk, eggs, cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla, soak the bread, and then do the buttered griddle thing.
I’m gonna have to try both! Maybe at the end of the month when my friends come up to visit!
Great. I was just checking to see what was going on, before I go to bed and ran across this. Now I’m seriously thinking of food! Thanks a lot, you guys.
Oh, c’mon…you can’t blame us. That was hours ago!
Erm…cookie?
*holds out peace offering*
Testing 123, testing 123
Hmm.. Nope
Try clearing your cache.
Make sure you used the same email address, O Achwel…
I am, O WhoaNellie
did*
Should.
Can.
Will.
etc.
Testing again
NopeWell, Achwel, ’til you get it figgered out I must say that you do look good in blue.
Yes he does. Though actually, click on his name. You too, Achwel. Is that the avatar you wanted?
I must say, it looks quite funky.
And again
Hm. Oh and thank you WN
Well, what can I say, blue fits me really well I suppose
I’ll just try different things and post replies on here if that’s ok for you? Hopefully I’ll figure things out somehow, sometime, someday, something, someone
Is Gravatar.com down?
It’s fully possible to change gravatar and log in and out and everything
My time shall come
Oh look it’s godzilla
God help me (even though I don’t believe in God)
That’s OK – He believes in you
He believes in everybody. EXCEPT THE TROLLS!!!
He gives his blessing to all failbloggers. EXCEPT THE TROLLS!!!
There are no trolls!
The trolls are a LIE!!! To God, at least.
Achwel, you are welcome to join but we must frisk you (may involve a cavity search) first. This is in case you are carrying contrabands (trolls).
Careful…Leila get real frisky!
LIES!!!!!
I accidentied the s
Still LIES!!! even with the accidentied s:D
Haha looks like i skipped the frisking then!!!
Your loss!
It’s not too late Outcast6. *hands Nellie rubber gloves*
Oh i see, its gonna be like THAT is it? No easy ride for me eh? well lets just see how Nellie handles THIS!
*Does something*
O
M
G
!!
That’s right, be afraid, every afraid
Every single one?
BUKKIT, please!
*gives Nellie a shot of whiskey*
*gives Nellie a shot of whiskey*
What’s with the double post?
Blogmonster with rectum problems.
Sorry, LEILA.What’s with the triple post?
I don’t know.
But thanks – I needed them both
That’s just like the time I got locked inside my house because I lost the key. It was terrifying. *giggles*
Chocolate chip pancakes, anyone? I’m branching out.
Mmmm… it’s been years since I’ve had chocolate-chip pancakes.
They’re so delicious! My mother used to make them sooo fluffy and warm…*daydreams*
OMIGAWD!! GIMME GIMME!!!
Thank you Diana
*giggles as she observes intelligent human beings reduced to five-year-olds in the presence of fluffy, chocolatey deliciousness* Enjoy.
Thanks!
*giggles like a fool*
[Whilst stuffing mouff wiff Chofolafe Chif Panfcakfes!!]
*piles a stack on a plate and sneaks away* Tank oou Diana!!!
Aha!
Squeeze!
Congrates on your magnificent powers!
Diana, you are the bestest.
*Steals the rest of Skwerlly’s before they’re eaten*
I resent your insinuation that 5-year-olds are less intelligent than normal adults. Being intelligent and acting like a 5-year-old are not mutually exclusive.
.
PANCAKES! Gimme!
*revels in the chocolatey chipity goodness*
“chocolate chipity”? Why does that sound like a cereal slogan?
To sell to a 5-year-old, you gotta think like a 5-year-old.
Ewwwwwww
Cookie Crunch?
YAYZ! Gimme some please! *takes some* My gosh, I have so many ways to say this! So thank you! Gracias! Merci! Danke! Grazie! Obrigado! ありがとう! 谢谢! Вы! Σας ευχαριστούμε! 7|-|4/\/|< |_|!
Babel Fish ftw
Me! Me! Me!
*takes pancake with dollop of syrup and zooms away in jeep*
Thanks, Diana!
You’re welcome, but *yells from a distance as BFF has zoomed rather far away* DON’T YOU NEED A FORK?
*screeches to a halt*
*zooms back to Diana*
*takes fork and glass of milk*
Thanks again, Diana!
*zooms away*
*jumps on with ninja sized helping of pancakes*
*rolls up a pancake*
*munchity-munchy-munch*
Forks are for sissies.
*gapes at dragon in her natural environment*
*puts on an Aussie accent*
this is how the female dragon shows its dominance over its main prey the flapjacks
ooh she just tore a chunk out of that one
*Runs away just in case*
Grabs some pancakes, after first thanking DTI for her beautiful looks, and um *stares* pancakes, yes um pancakes. Thanks DTI, grabs extra fork and begins chowing down.
Sure, I’ll take a few….thanks Diana!
Okay, Sparky. *passes a plate with three pancakes* Just don’t add crayons to them. That wouldn’t be yummy, no matter how good it smelled.
Awwwww. Welllllllllll……ok.
I’m on an imaginary diet.
You imagine that when you eat a slice of pizza that it’s really a grilled chicken wrap?
It happens to the best of us.
-
What kind of syrup are you offering with those chocolate chip pancakes?
Chocolate and maple – though I wouldn’t recommend them both together – as well as strawberry compote.
Ahhhh, strawberry composite – I like the Gifted Children In Suspension particles!
I like my Gifted children in Gravy.
OMG!! I am freaking salivating here. Stop torturing me!!!!!!
Is that freaking “slash” salivating, or, perhaps more likely, freaking AND salivating?
I don’t know. Let me think it over.
Mmmm… State of Vermont…
That last drop always misses the plate.
I use a safety tissue to soak up extra leakage.
Wait, we’re still talking about syrup, right?
I flush the plate with water when I’m through.
I *POUNCE!!!!* when you least expect it!
*gets up feeling giddy*
You swooped me off my feet.
*DOUBLE-POUNCE!!!*
Heehee…betcha didn’t see that coming.
You got me!
*HUGS!!*
Hmmm. I got you…but what shall I do with you…?
*evil grin*
Well, after a DOUBLE-POUNCE, there’s BOUND to be more adventures ahead.
*fingers a roll of duct tape*
*draws the curtain*
Sorry folks…we’re going to be a little tied up for a while…
I’ll take one if you don’t mind…
Thanks!
I can’t remember the last time I had to manually engage with a button on my car door. I miss it sooo much.
*weeps uncontrollably*
*snorts*
There, there.
*hands tissue to 11011018*
*takes tissue and apologises for making BondFan4518 wait half an hour*
sorry old chap, much obliged.
*straightens tweed jacket*
Never mind, old bean. We British are a patient lot, what what?
*sips tea*
Scone?
I say, would you be so kind as to pass a scone in this direction, old chap?
Of course, old salt.
*passes scone with jam*
I say, how about a jolly good game of cricket? I’ll bat first.
Wheeee!
(?)
*ball flies high into the air and comes down on Downing Street, hitting Gordon Brown on the head*
What ho! Spiffing shot, Avis!
What a wicked googly!!
Ods my bodkin! So it was, dearie.
Oh no, your bodkin od’d?! I hope it’s ok now…
It…it’s dyed.
*cries*
*pat pat pat*
I’m sure it’s only DRYED, just throw some water on it, it’ll
re-susci-gurgi-animate!
How would I go about getting one of those pancakes?
It’s a two-step process.
1. Learn to use the “Reply to this Comment” feature.
2. Ask nicely.
May I have a pancake please.??
Yes, yes you may. *passes plate with pancake, fork, and bottle of syrup* Enjoy!
Yummie… Thank you !!! I think this was the best pancake I have ever eaten!
Diana the Insane… does absolute wonders with virtual food!
I think it’s the extra “bit” of trouble she goes through for us.
Awww…thanks guys. That’s so nice to hear. Extra pancakes for both of you! *offers a plate with a few pancakes on it* Share nicely, now.
All right, well it’s time for Diana to go do a real workout to shed some of the real calories she has consumed lately. Ta ta, all!
Don’t fight over the pancakes – I left a big stack on the table here with the syrups and compote. Avis, I’m leaving you in charge of them.
*quickly eats a pancake before Avis arrives*
Um… I’m not sure I’m the one you want for this job…
I'll do it!I claim NO responsibility over the carnage that is like to happen.
Ahah i get it Bob. “bit”
I’ll byte – what is it all about?
nice
spice
lice
riceDice
twiceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
malice
MICE!!!!!!!!!!!!
(eeeek)
thrice
A lady?
this thing made my day ^^
Just more evidence of our dependancy on electronics. And electricity.
Because the two are mutually exclusive.
Of course. There are a lot of electronics operated by batteries.
(I really wanted to add an extremely blonde comment, but I simply couldn’t without the disclaimer that I’m really not this stupid.)
Now who wants some blueberry muffins! ^_^
*waves hand in the air*
Are you saying you just don’t care?
My aunt did this same thing, but she flipped out so much that she kicked out the back window of her brand new van. xD we always make fun of her. “I’M LOCKED IN MY CARRRR”
This brings to mind a certain Family Guy episode…
BIRD IS THE WORD!
*hunts down gothixemo and slaughters him mercilessly for reminding the Blog Ninja of that episode*
*unleashes the Blog Ninja’s weakness mantra*
Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow
Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow
Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow
Well, don’t you know about the bird
Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word
A-well-a, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word
*sings in the pub style*
bird-n-be-bord
wo-de-bord-do-be-bird
B B B B BIRD BIRD BIRD. BIRD IS THE WORD. B B B B BIRD….
*hides from ninja*
Great minds think alike?
Always Mal.
HA! Found you! Ya know, I used to like Family Guy. Until south park made fun of it...Family Guy has kinda sucked gone blah.
But wait!!! Did you hear the word?
NOOO!!! Break the disc!!That site is hilarious…
Must’ve been you they spotted in the vid. though.
Yes I did! The word is…BIRD! *hides in the one place Blog Ninja will never find him*
No rescue? What! a prisoner? I am even
The natural fool of fortune. Use me well;
You shall have ransom. Let me have surgeons;
I am cut to the brains.
*admires AA’s astute yet minimalistic observance*
*hands him a good cigar*
Is it Cuban? I have Cohebas? to give if you would like some. There not illegal in Canada.
*Lears at contraband stogy*
AA you shall have any thing.
Excellent allusion Marius. No seconds?
Nay, if you get it, you
shall get it with punning.
Get thee to a punnery!
Wait…dang. Wrong play. Ah, well.
*uses the Admiral well*
Sigh…. got any Montecristo #2? My Cuban favorite…
And thanks!
I got Montecristo # 2 and also Romeo and Juliets and others.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
*becomes incredibly jealous*
Why? I’m handing them out, passes WN a Montecristo #2 and a Romeo and Juliet to compare flavo(u)rs.
Yummers
Take as many as you like.
Too awesome. I know exactly where the Wal-greens is she’s calling from, right on the border of Kissimmee and Poinciana. Not surprising at all, the median IQ of people living in that area is around 75, although it IS surprising that a mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragger from that area can afford a car with power options.
It’s like when you can’t find your remote and you just give up on watching TV cause touching the actual TV set buttons is barbaric.
My remote suddenly stopped working two months ago (yes, I checked the batteries, that’s not the problem) and I have to go to the Comcast payment center to exchange it. The weather hasn’t been all that great and stuff has come up. Sad to say, but simply for that reason, I have watched considerably less TV. I wish I had a better reason for it.
I just got rid of my cable waaaaaaaay back in 2000.
No reception at all without cable where I am.
Haven’t missed it
Netflix fills in what little gap there is…
No TV!!
He’s got internet, so really, what can’t he watch if he really wants too?
Good point.But I never do
Are you insane!!!!
–
Actually I commend you for getting rid of cable. Way overprices for what it is IMO.
Any series or movie I ever wanna see is easily available for a reasonably low price from Netflix. And I need not subject myself to lamestream media blather and propaganda, ridiculously silly sitcoms, or disgusting advertisements. Let alone PAY for such things!
LOL – only way ta fly…
How much does Netflix cost?
I pay $18 a month for three DVDs at a time, unlimited returns and new selections. In other words, they constantly have three checked out to me, but when I finish one I send it back and get another. If I return one on Monday I’ll have the new one by Wednesday
For only $0 a month i watch DVD quality movies by stealing them on the internet. …….I hope the FBI didn’t hear me say that.
Oh, we heard you. We heard you real good.
And we will hunt you down.Then after we find you, we will make you give us some of those dvds, as 1/4 price.
And then make you show us the best websites to get them from.…and then we start FailP2P.
and then we all know what happens.
You guys do know how the FBI feels about people impersonating them, right?
I’m going to be on the next plane to Barbados, with a false moustache. If anyone asks, I didn’t exist.
*flees in jeep*
Hee!
You should go together, then you can finish the cricket match.
Depends… just like the ones your momma wears
I have Netflix too because I hate going to theaters. I have to wait to see new movies but it’s worth it to me.
That’s what torrents are for!
I just buy movies that are still in theatres from friends for a couple bucks each.Those doors can be pretty tricky.
Whoever’s in charge of video at failblog is just… well… failing. There’s nothing rubbisher than a video with stills! If it’s just audio, just put your logo on the screen and leave it there, give us enough credit that we can follow a phone conversation without a load of unrelated pictures.
Rubbisher?
Yeah. Like shrubber.
Is this another Charles Manson’s Epic Question? Starting to sound like it!
Or ninjentile.
I like teenage turtles.
Mutant.
:p
I had a crush on Raphael. I’ve…I’ve never told anyone…*cries*
There, there…
*pat pat pat*
I’m sure he would have loved you if he’d gotten the chance to meet you.
*sniff* …aww, t’anks…I think his namesake was more into the fellas, but a girl can dream…
And I’m sure that crush went away when a certain Zorb floated across your wake….
*sigh*
he’s perfect…
What is UP with all the old fails lately? This has got to be at least 3 or 4 years old. That’s like, 187 in internet years.
True, but a good FAIL never dies.
Really?! Oh god, Zorby and I may be reunited after all…
Never dies but it may suddenly disappear after the comment thread has been consumed by trolls.
Trying again on a new comment *sigh*
Are you positive you are using the right email?I am very positive
Don't know what to say to that...You went through the whole process, picked a picture?Picked, confirmed, changed gender from male to haxx0r, everything!
Weird, when I check on my profile at WordPress, which seems to have something to do with FB and Gravatar, I can see my avatar. But when I comment on here I can’t! Something magic is going on
Have you closed out of the Internet and started over?AW, your avatar is there. Give it half an hour or so.
I had no problems, once i cropped it and clicked “go” or what ever it was, 5 mins later FB updated
Let’s check if mine is working already, did it yesterday..
So if its not working I will sue Gravatar
And guess what! No way, Achwel is too retarted to get an avatar! Wow, I’ve got to tell ALL my friends about this. Behold, O mighty Achwel, we have been awaiting. You will and shall make the prophety become true and complete.
Jeez
Blahh
Your time shall come!
That’s a retarted prophety
Unlike this woman, Anpu has no need for BlondeStar.
It’s situations like these that make me want video capability at work…
here you go.
*spludges Baconlube inside Malicite’s computer to enable video at work*
Give it a minute.
The use of BaconLube is strictly forbidden. FORBIDDEN I SAID!!!!
*hides carton of BaconLube behind back*
*replaces water in sprinkler system with BaconLube*
*uses gripping device to set off fire alarm without getting hand stuck*
*smirks*
*puts up large beach umbrella over desk*
My computer!!!! MY OFFICE!!! It smells like Ihop in here!!!!
*licks his chair*
Would you like some pancakes to go with that?
*smiles innocently*
*hurls a handful of baconlube at all bacontube offenders*
Do…they have chocolate chips? *looks sheepishly*
Why yes! Yes they do!
*dodges handful of BaconLube*
*slips*
*catches Avis*
Paaaaaaaaaaaannnnncaakkeee?
Does that mean you would like one?
Have you had the chance to eat yet today? Or have they chained you to that desk?
I did actually! I went out for a vegan lunch and ended up getting vetoed at the last minute. Turkey sandwich…*tummy grumbles*
Must of used the Baconlube to get your hand out. Hmmm.
Nope! One of those claw/gripper things meant for reaching things on high shelves. You know, for short people?
Oh one of those gophers. I have seen the commercials.
Ah, gopher. Isn’t that that new Internet thingy?
Never mind Vic, he’s a bit out of touch with things.
Tell Vic I heard they’re workin’ on a new fandangled thingy called a “FTP” too…
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….. incredible!!!
haha.
that was in orlando!
woooooooowwwwwwww
World Of Of Of Of Of Of Of Of Warcraft Warcraft Warcraft Warcraft Warcraft Warcraft Warcraft Warcraft?
*snickers*
*galaxy*
*Milky way*
*Yorkie*
*Malamute*
*Fire Breathing Mini Pini*
*double decker*
*curly wurly*
*boost*?
*flake*
*Lindt Lindor*
*kit kat*
*galaxy version of a cream egg*
*penguin bar*
I had a curly wurly at Christmas time from a selection box and its goodness was a fraction of what I remembered it to be.
No way
Well, gravatar seems to hate me as well. And why, oh why do i have a
pink avatar thingy?
I see a kitty.
Perhaps the kitty is called “pink avatar thingy”? Strange name for a cat, but everyone to their own interests.
Well, I wouldn’t be surprised, seeing as how his own name is misspelled…
(Assuming he meant “Cernunnos”, that is…)
…I googled that, and now I am terrified of this failblogger. What if (s)he’s a satanist?
Why don’t Satanists have orgies?
Because of all the thank-you notes they’d have to write.
what an idiot this lady is!
Sitting so close to the steering wheel that you can barely turn round to see the knob on the door?
I think so.
I wonder if the culprit will ever know this recording is on here…?
Only if one of her friends sees it. She couldn’t be smart enough to work the computer herself.
I see Sam has an entire fail video of her today.
*SNORK!*
I’m surprised she managed to get into the car in the first place. Perhaps her doctorate in science hasn’t really helped her this time?
Do we really want to continue to tempt fate?
Ah, thank you for reminding me. I wouldn’t dare laugh in the face of fate. If she returns, the fault is mine for mentioning she-who-must-not-be-named
em..
Night Failbloggers!
Last try today I think
And still nothing. Haha I must really suck
Achwel, if it helps any I went to gravatar on Tuesday and my avatar still isn’t showing. I’ve also checked my email and the set up, to no avail.
“Corner of John Young Parkway.” Ahh only in Orlando Florida. The state that gives you a lady calling 911 because she didn’t get lemonade at a drive thru, and a guy calls the police on the fact he can’t get chicken nuggets. Those are real emergencies, Y’all!
Wow..This couldn’t really be possible , could it ?
I’m afraid it could, and it is. And remember, this person is ellgible to vote. If she knows what voting is when the next elections arrive.
Just … Wow
Okay!
*Wows*
That was…mind blowing.
Totally. . .
Wow. I just confirmed that this happened in the same area I live in. O_o Fails are everywhere.
The fails! They’re surrounding me! It’s as if they’re following me! AH!!!!
*runs screaming from the room*
What’s up with the long names?
Oh, it’s a funny story! I’d tell it to you, but I forget how it goes.
You have got to be effing kidding me…..
it makes me sad that most of the conversations on fb are when i am in class
but, you guys rock, rock on!!
Ok… *cough* WIN! Lock me up! WOOOO!
*talking in low volume* Um..Hi guys..I have been reading the comments for a while, and i think there pretty funny..But this is my first time actually saying anything.
Hm? What’s up? Did you make a reservation with Avis?
Avis? Do what now?
Poor lady must have had a massive brain fart before she got in the car.
I use to work at AAA. I had a guy call once say he couldn’t get into his car. I asked if he locked his keys inside, he said no. I asked if he lost his keys. He said no. He has the keys but the battery in the remote died. I asked, did you put the key in the door? He said, What? I said, see that little slot by the door-put the key in there and turn. Two seconds later he says, “WOW! Thank you my friend, thank you!”
Idiots.
americans are hella dumb
Please don’t lump us all together, dude.
Aggred
*failed at Speling class*
dude is she stupid? seriously? oh and btw you people thats not a picture of her car dimwads
Really
wow
nice,….
it save
Bow before me.
Pff. Satan’s not all that powerful!
I hope the dispatcher sent a unit anyway, if possible. That woman doesn’t sound like she was fit to drive. She may have been able to start the car and try to go somewhere.
Is this for realz?
How could someone that dim-witted be allowed to drive an automobile?
The lady on the phone sounds like my English teacher
and why aren’t they pictures and i had to waste so much time watching a “video”????? :s
:~
??
Phone conversation: funny.
Pictures: stupid.
Red car, then black car. And the black car is the kind where the doors retract underneath – you can tell by the extra flap of flooring.
This was in Orlando..how embarrassing..I’m like 2 hours away from there. Scary how dependable we are to electronics.
I decided to join the FB community. Hi
?
John Young Pkwy and Pleasant Hill Rd… that’s in Kissimmee, FL.
More proof that Floridians are the dumbest people in America.
wow that’s just..wow is all I can say.
this proves how dependant people are on technology. this woman doesnt even know how to open a car door without using the electric unlock button
WHAT A RETARD, lol.
Looks like Mr. Bean’s car! Funny
Was that really what her car looked like
Well, there’s your problem! I’m gonna have to take this down to the shop.
#40
wow…. that is EPIC
“Hello, this is 911, what is your emergency?”
“Hello operator? Now I’ve locked myself in a grocery store!”
people this stupid shouldnt be allowed to own a razor scooter nevermind a car
It’s like “Darn it! I lost my remote and now I can’t turn my T.V. on!”
white people
*checks watch*
A bit late, doncha think?
I have to say this about you dot dot dot, you are nothing if not consistent. Wait, you are nothing but consistent.
“CLICK TO VOTE!”
You're copy-and-paste comment is no longer true there. The win was a lot shorter than the fail and therefore was not the 'exact same clip'.*shakes head slowly*
His notepad froze, so he couldn’t copy and paste it this time.
*nods*
“ROCK THE CLICK!”
Diversifying?
Not to sound like whats-his-name, but I really do think you should get an avatar.
Your Avatar is fine, just wait till the right one comes along.
Just the right image will pass by your vision one fine day
and then you’ll know that you’ve found IT! Until then; WTFC!
*breaks down in tears and blabbers out:*
we’re trying…! but it won’t work
*sniff sniff sniff*
working now?
*moonwalks*
Personifying?
Still not working.Objectifying
Yes it is. Working.
So there.
*turns on metronome*
*rocks out*
I read that so very very wrong at first.
hehehe… I thought the same thing!
Well, it wasn't when I posted that.So there.