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Sucks to be them! (no i will not make out with you arthur eld)
*looks hopeful*
Abandon all hope. He’s a disappointment.
*roffles*
Is your middle name Elmo, because you tickle me!
*squeeze* Good morning bosom buddy!
Pretty sure this is winning.
Wiiiiiiiiin! This is not a fail.
it was a play on words. get it? ‘SUCKS’ dick?
haha, this is in a cemetery in cologne, germany. this guy is actually still alive. he is a…raunchy entertainer who picked that name on purpose i think.
Did you just make a Dark Tower reference?
familie king size dick lmao!!
well germans own xD
Boooooooooooh @ sam
Hey, don’t boo sam, he needs to concentrate on his PHD, which has a great importance for the national security, with the subject:
“I click “refresh” on failblog on a minute basis because I have no life”
ouch
Why is that tombstome shaped like a urinal? Is that the fail?!?
Hows that off topic, this is fail blog …
a ‘first’ and a lack of understanding of ‘topic’; you must be some kind of child prodigy.
Wow! The retardation-level of this here board has grown to
whole new levels. You guise fail at internet.
BTW, Yoda asked me to tell you: Bunch of idiots you are.
Oh Jesus, another troll! They are just coming out of the woodwork today…
Your blog is a trollstas’ paradise.
And speaketh not teh jesuses name in fail.
Misspelled and not capitalized. You must be a serious devotee.
At least the trolls are nice.
How do you know this is a troll, and not a yooper?
You fail at spelling and grammar; the retardation is in your court sir.
You possess great skills of comebackation!
I have never before seen anyone pull out the
grammar-card on anyone before! Kudos to you sir!
I will never come back, having been so porfoyndli
humulitaited!
Oh wait, you suck.
That was funny until you misspelled “profoundly”.
Why thank you, kind sir!
Yours was funny all the way, from beginning to end.
Every funny word of it.
Even Squiggly… *Teehee*
Looks like hooked-on-phonics worked!
porfoyndli
Slo-mo water balloon explodes in mans face!
Eh Hhhheheheh, you said pull out…
You guise?
Are we guise in disguys? xD
The only thing worse than a troll is a haughty one… can someone please throw Sam into the fail bog? Maybe his avatar too…
Yeah baby, I can click refresh all night long!
4) Have a life that doesn’t revolve around FB posting times?
Armer kleiner Verlierer.
Ja, das ist er.
Auf jeden Fall.
Und wie.
Und ob.
Es ist ok.
Vor allem sein Schwuchtel Avatar!
ist es nicht wunderbar das irgendjemand in deutschland
King Size Dick heisst? hoffentlich ist es kein fake
Was’n Lutscher
You remind me of a character from the movie Real Genius.
.
Hint: it’s not Val Kilmer, or Gabriel Jarret.
Vi sitter här i venten och spelar lite DotA
å pushar på å smeker,
med motståndet vi leker.
Vi sitter här i venten och spelar lite DotA
å springer runt å creepar,
och motståndet vi sleepar.
Now THAT’S German!
German translated to Swedish?
Isn’t that Sweedish? Basshunter – Dota
No it’s not.
FAIL.
No, it isn’t German at all. Arthur Eld and below, that’s German.
no it’s not
Wow, I was almost afraid it would be swedish. Thanx for clearing that up.
Box?
I agree with joeythegrape
Sam Sam, thanks for all your great work on ensuring the the president’s penis is clean, especially after you got it so dirty. PHD in ATM yeah!
You might consider taking a dose of your own medicine.
Dana… the comment was simple, yet it was a win. I salute you.
Du riechst streng.
He has to speak like that; it’s national security code. You of all people should know that!
Ich mach so lange weiter wie ich Bock hab. Du Nulpe.
der denkt echt du hasst die deutsche sprache erfunden
Sam for the love of God I’m begging you to take your own advice every once and a while….
sam is mad
I have a hunch that you’re very impressed with your avatar …news flash: no-one else is.
DON’T FEED THE TROLL!!
WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hehehe! Nee, noch viel dümmer!
A language he invented?
It’s GERMAN for Christs’ sake, at least if you have no idea about how the German language looks like, don’t make stupid assumptions.
I thought I was going mad! I thought I was the only person to notice!
Genau Digger! Wander weiter durch deinen Tagtraum, Dödel.
Hehe… bist ein echter Experte, Sam. Du erinnerst mich an meinen Hund, der hieß genau so wie du. Er starb blind, taub und er stank… ich mochte ihn aber trotzdem. Das gute an der Geschichte ist allerdings: wenn sie auf dich übertragbar ist, wirst du auch endlich bald sterben.
Welche Sprache soll das bitte sein? Deutsch jedenfalls nicht!
It’s dutch “Familie” = “family” (duh)
Shit, I failed. I was just pressing keys randomly and hoped nobody would recognize… :p
Hehe…je bent een echte expert, Sam. Je herinnert me aan mijn hond, die had dezelfde naam als jij. Hij stierf blind, doof en hij stonk…desondanks hield ik van hem. Het goede aan dit verhaal is in ieder geval: als het op jou overdraagbaar is, zal jij ook uiteindelijk kaal sterven.
Many thanks to Kraut.
Especially for Arthur (knipoog)
As finishing touch, God made the Dutch.
Proost!
*knipoog*
STOP MAKING UP LANGUAGES!
Oh, dit is echt zo briljant
Google herkent het niet, dus is het een bedachte taal 
Geweldig!
PHD!
Pretty Hopeless Dude!
*facepalm*
If you had a doctorate in science, I would expect much wittier and smarter comments than the ones you’ve been lashing out with all morning. I would also expect someone with that kind of degree to have a better avatar than some anime character. If you could get a life and move out of your mother’s basement, we’d all greatly appreciate that. If not, could you just off yourself and make me happy?
I don’t think that’s what he meant but it’ll do for now!
*squeezes Cuddles*
*squeeze jam*
good morning! I can’t get over the infestation this morning.
Afternoon MMC.
*squeezes*
I have some powder if you want help with that infestation.
Goodmorning Mr Cuddles!
How do you become Moomin’s sidekick? Maybe I could join and we can mug some old ladies?
Well, it (the troll) is being fed rather well here today.
Good morning Moomin! *squeeze*
Good morning sofaking! *squeeze*
If Sam off’s himself like I asked, the infestation should be over with so hopefully I won’t need the powder.
Haha, that’s hilarious. A language he invented, rofl.
Greets from Germany.
by the way: the name on the tombstone is german
these are not german names. i’m pretty sure this is a fake.
Try Foreignword.com
Don’t give him advice! I really like it like this. Made me laugh.
Suppose we might test him in other languages as well.
Other what? Don’t make things up!
I loled…
Wie dumm ist der Typ eigentlich?
That’s German you retard. It means “You stink really bad”.
Have you lived in a box in the past 1000 years?
He invented German?
Thanks, Squiggly – just trying to contribute to this blog in a creative and constructive way.
@Sam (below me here): It’s not that anyone has anything against you personally – just that typing ‘First’ at every opportunity is an overused Internet meme, and people who try to do it consistently usually conform to the traditional stereotypes of either being fat, lonely people or 14-year-olds.
You wouldn’t want us to think you’re a fat, lonely 14-year-old would you?
Self-fail – I didn’t realize that my comment would nest below Sam. Learn something new every day, I suppose.
Quick everyone, we’ve whittled him down to sad two-word replies – maybe now if we click our heels together and wish three times, he’ll disappear entirely!
*clicks her heels together and wishes*
*Appears!*
.
Umm, you sure you were thinking about trolls!?!
Exactly! We wish you would go away!
Happy to see you’re grasping the concept of the comment, even if you have boiled it down to it’s bare essentials.
Okay everyone: Sam also doesn’t understand the difference between wishing and ordering, make sure to add that to the list of things he fails at.
Spelling a dictators name right is another.
It must be sad to be hated by an entire community of people you don’t know ….
Annoying idiots are also hated by everyone. Just sayin’.
Didn’t you say you weren’t going to comment anymore today?
Sam like twenty minutes ago you said you’d leave the blog…
lmfao. Sam, wie scheiße verdammt arrogant kann man eigentlich sein? xD
Ah… but yet you STILL aren’t gone… for a 28 year old man with a wife and a PhD you sure have a lot of time on your hands….
I think he offed his wife and his PhD, that’s what sociopaths do.
I’d be inclined to agree with you only I don’t think sociopaths can killed their own imaginary friends.
*scratches out ed*
Well I got my fail of the day out of the way early.
you’re a fat, lonely 14-year-old
Used to be, so I did something about it. Now I’m a fit, trim 23-year-old.
Thanks though.
*coughreplytoSamcough*
Bah, the posting hierarchy on this site is different from the likes of the other sites I frequent – I’ll get used to it eventually.
Dana is learning. Learning isn’t a fail.
Stubbornly clinging to a non-existent PhD is fail.
Therefore Sam is fail.
I bet he doesn’t even know how to get a
PhD
Sam is *yawn*
WELL SAID!
I like your style.
Thanks, Squiggly. I’m just glad I don’t have to pretend I’m something I’m not for the sake of impressing strangers on the Internets.
Mail-order brides don’t count! Send her back to Ukraine and stop supporting human trafficking!
Your threats are sooo scary. Vollpfosten.
Arthur, You make me chuckle! FTW!
*bows*
Ja maaaaaan. Ich bin mal so dreist, und schreib daher weiter in Arthurs selbst erfundenen Sprache um klug zu wirken, weil ich ja so klug bin.
Man, bin ich klug!
I feel sorry for your wife, she must be unsatisfied.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who reads this and thinks “ooooooohhhhhhh BURN!”
Your not.
I’ll get an avatar when you get a life and some manners…
Which is to say, never.
dittto
*uses ninja powers to make extra t disappear
maybe its a win ?
Isn’t everything?
troll spam right there.
Advertising! You bet! The family blog site says ‘…and can breathe through ears!
I guess that’s not a bad way to be remembered.
photo edit
So you can see the pixels too? I’m not crazy!!
*rocks back and fourth in chair and laughs maniacly*
*manically
Haha suckamadickous
I know it’s wrong, but…hehehehehe
Their great-great ancestors were all giants named Richard…
That should be rather WIN then FAIL
First WIN then FAIL? Why?
It’s the other way round in the videos and that makes people complain.
“Hi I’m Mr. King Size Dick, by name and nature.”
Wow, even geniuses use “lol” and “FIRST!” ! I hope one day I can aspire to be half the man that you are! There was me thinking that bachelors of Science would be too
busy trying to replicate nuclear fusion rather than focusing all their mighty brain power on getting the FIRST comment on every post, but you’ve probably already cracked fusion… Kudos to you, mighty Pokemon worshiper!
Slammed! I love it! That Pokemon avatar as this 26 year old's avatar has driven me crazy.Awesome!
who here likes linkin park BFMV or coldplay?
linkin park BFMV ftw
but i dont like coldplay
Oh please, relevancy?
Oh Vicar, reverendcy?
Oh [something] prevalency?
Oh [somebody] pregnancy?
Oh Bourne, Supremacy?
I’m straight. Sorry.
Sorry, I’m hetero.
Yeah, I’ll listen to the odd coldplay track. Meh.
i know this is gonna make me sound like a troll (i’m not, i swear
)
but that picture looks like it is photoshopped
I suspect they added the ‘Fail’.
Sam, you remind me of my mother!
You state the obvious, you talk bollo**s and you provoke people for no reason.
Oh wait… Hi Ma!
Yes mother!
I’m sorry, jam. Didn’t know Sam’s your mother. I will stop making fun of her, if you wish.
As you were Arthur. It’s fun to watch.
Isn’t Lady Sam amazing? I never thought I’d witness that amount of stupidity. Makes GWB look like a genius.
GWB made a ton mistakes but I really don’t think it’s fair to compare him with one of the current biggest trolls on the blog…
I think I misssed GWB. Anyone got a URL for me to see how bad it was?
By George, not really.
I’m Bushed!
*hands shaver*
*trims around the hedges*
i feel sorry for his parents. we are (mostly) grown-ups here,
but I think Sam thinks this is some kind of Pokemon
blog where he’s the main man cause he’s found his first pube!
Then again…i dont have an avatar so I better STFU! oh the shame!
For a ‘28 year old with a wife and doctorate in science’, your replies are really quite mature in nature. I’m also lying through my teeth, but you get my jist.
You said jist, right?
No he unfortunately doesn’t…
It’s really very sad as a lack of humor will leave him bitter and yelling “First!” in the comments all his life.
You see poor Sam is unable to pick up on sarcasm or to tell when people are making a joke
Yes DrB, I said jist. *squeeze* Good morning buddy! How are you today? Aside from the problem at hand.
*Squeezez MMC and DrB* 28, married, PhD…If he’s telling the truth I feel really sorry for him. However, my spidey senses are tingling and thus I do not believe he is telling the truth.
*squeezes McFail* Good morning!
I don’t believe a word out of his mouth either.
*Squeezes the fine people!* Goodmorning
Well and happy today, cheers! Eye’s okay, now?
*squeeze*
G’day DrB! How’s it hanging?
A little to the left
G’day Mate! If that’s another pachyderm reference, then…trumpting!
Wow, that was quite an impact you had there! Haha
Elephant comment?
Your head is in the clouds DrB!
…but gardening is serious business
You certainly have your feet on the ground there.
*facepalm*
Um… it was supposed to be a joke which you ruined by being rude.
Get some manners.
*Hifives*
*Lowfives*
*sidefives and falls over*
Hm, I think that was sarcasm actually.
Because that’s largely the concept behind sarcasm ^^
Du schon.
I found it comical o_o
Oh dear, me and my pathetic 17 year old humour…
*needs love*
I found it funny too I think Sam’s the only one who didn’t get it.
*gives love*
Yay!
*feels special*
Aww.. you guys are sweet!
*squeeze*
*squeezes back*
Thankyooou!
I’m new to FB, it’s a scary place…
There’s many trolls about today. Normally we’re a good bunch.
You think so? I consider it a friendly place, except for the trolls.
Jam, you’re doing it again! All the time! Outrageous!
*squeezes all* This is such a happy place in the blog right now.
Watch someone come along and ruin it.
Sorry Arthur. Great minds and all that…
Everyone murders the poor trollies…
Hence scary D=
I just hope I don’t say something wrong and get ripped apart!
Are you mean? If not, you’ll be fine!
Ha, only to people that are mean to me ^^
Or just plain stupid…
Don’t worry dude. When the trolls get out of hand we just make a little wish and Boggy the FailBog Monster comes to assist.
Damn military network is so slow today!
Dear old Boggy! ^_^ Where is he btw? There is a big enough troll around here to keep him fed for a week…
He must be starving. I don’t think we’ve fed him in months.
That’s why there’s a troll problem… Boggy hasn’t been eating them while they were small and now they’ve grown into fully adult trolls.
Who fed the trolls after midnight? It can’t have been me. It’s 1:50 in the afternoon here!
Maybe they feed themselves… they do tend to eat the smaller weaker ones every now and then.
Love is a burning flame and you’re flammable…
Ah crap, no wonder I always get burnt when I have snuggles…
I thought love was a fiery ring. Like after curry and lager night!
Ooooh, bad mental images o_o
Dear Sam,
sar·casm (sär’kăz’əm) :
A form of humor that is marked by mocking with irony, sometimes conveyed in speech with vocal over-emphasis. Saying something that is opposite of what is intended to be meant; An act of sarcasm
Regards,
The Management
I think you’re jealous because Sam was first and you’re not.
Sar-chasm (sär’kăz’əm) :
Noun: The vast gulf (or chasm) that separates those who get the joke and those who don’t.
Whoah, nested too high. A fail for me!
It’s so true *runs off sobbing*
*catches McFail*
*squeezes*
Teehee, no worries, that was just a demonstration of sarcasm.
So was my squeeze then
Ohhhh
but I like squeezes (*please note that there is no sarcasm in this statement)
Sorry, there’s a squeeze embargo in effect. My hands are tied. Literally. It all went a bit wrong.
There, there.
*squeeze*
Great to see the comments and the stupidity of some are even funnier thanthan the fail itself
^^^ self-styled PhD candidate who can’t figure out simple sarcasm.
Well, it is an extremely complicated matter.
Especially for challenged people…
I think Sam is more touched than challenged. Calling him/her/it “challenged” would imply s/he/it can handle one.
Heck I’m just happy the poor troubled thing learned to turn on a computer.
XD
WIN!
But wait! There’s more Lady Sam can’t figure out!
like where the sausage goes?
“Where the potato goes” was covered on the last thread.
Lol, I haven’t read it o_O
sounds weird XD
Oh my. Past fail reference.
here
That Fail never gets old!
I agree! That’s exactly what I thought when I saw it.
definetely photoshopped, family name is “gotthard” (note left side of tomb stone). plus it say “familie” which is german for family – and king size dick is not your average german last name.
Nope. Not shopped, “Kingsize Dick” is the stage name of Heinz Ganss, his fathers name is on the tombstone, too. His mother was a born “Gotthard”.
Kingsize Dick is a stage name, not a family name.
Herr King Size Dick would be the only one who could pleasure Frau Gotthard Tunnel.
Hehehe!
Hahaha!
hoohoo?
hoohoohoo?
PHOTOSHOPPED !!!
I’m a man of science myself. What kind of science department are you working in?
The department of studies of things that don’t exist, by the looks of it.
Maybe he’s been donated to science… that would explain a lot of things.
They took a monkey’s brain and inserted it into a human head…
And now they’re testing how it reacts to unhappy FailBloggers
I hope it’s one of those experiments that explodes…
If you worked at all you wouldn’t be posting this much. Why would you make up such an obvious lie and post obsessively on a blog where people just call you out all the time?
If this is supposed to be from a German cemetary (“Familie” is german for “family”) the picture is fake (photoshopped).
Not ’shopped, there actually IS a musician with that name: http://www.kingsizedick.de/
And it’s not that uncommon here in Cologne to buy a family grave while you’re still alive, and to decorate it rather strangely.
More pictures:
http://flickr.com/photos/55938826@N00/2626030552/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/valboa/114112367/
The grave is on the Melaten cemetery.
Kingsize Dick is still alive, mind you: http://ksh.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingsize_Dick
Maybe it isn’t fake – there’s a fat german singer who sings traditional songs from Cologne who calls himself King Size Dick. But the guy’s so old he probably never heard of “the other meaning” of dick until a few years ago. But to be honest I don’t know if he’s dead yet or if this is a fake…
It could also be Dutch. I think you’re photoshopped yourself. Why don’t you just laugh and just think it’s real, okay?
I think I’m photoshopped.
*examins pixels*
Hey stop that! That tickles!
You know that’s not discouraging! Every urr thing seems to be in order!
Nah, I reckon it means they all have massive schlongs.
(Morning fine people!)
Evening, DrB.
Beware sarcasm-impaired individuals on the blog, today… or have some fun with them. Up to you.
Hey kannadzuki!
Yes, it’s a smut-free today. Anyway, I’m sure we can fix that…even with Mooks on leave!
err ‘…it’s a tad…’ !
Even the women?
(G’day mate!)
Especially the women!
(Howdy)
Oh yeah, those gals are a handful! Particularly the matriarch (clicky!).
Ahhh, relaxes)
(Hey guys!
That’s almost as disturbing as Granny’s Goodbye Horses… but not quite!
(*puts the kettle on*)
Ohhhh I missed that…has GCF gone somewhere?
(*strong, white, pls*)
Hey, DrB, does your clickie help you to relax ?
Oh she’s toooo much woman for me…but just imagine for a sec…
.
(Hiya. Just a long, but good day! Nice to chill)
*scratches eyes out*
Go on…just imagine…just for a minute…you know you want to…
SAM put your PhD D back in your pants lol. Everyone quit
picking on SAM. Now where is this picture or monument
and is it for real.?
I think it’s in Germany. I could be wrong though.
“Familie” is a german word, allright. But all the Names “King”, “Size” and “Dick” are most uncommon in Germany – I never ever heard them. So it might be in Germany, but I’d guess that it is not the grave of a german Family.
Afternoon DrB! Theres a special little person I want you to meet, it’s name is Sam and it is a super-troll!
Hi there! Hope the day’s going well where you are!
I had sexual intercourse with Sam.
Are you Jams Dad?
Oh.. I don’t even wanna know!
Oh dear, we all feel for you…
Hence you’re bannished?
Is that like howling like a banshee?!
More like Siouxsie.
I like ‘em a little Saxy.
So they can drum it in?
Ah! Now you’ve tuned in!
That could be refluted.
Thought you wood wind me up with a flute ref!
It was cymbalic.
I like how you conduct yourself.
How did I score?
You made music on that sheet.
Lets FACE it, I orchestrate some good points.
(sometimes)
Jammy, I’ve been a good boy, do I deserve fruit now?
(occasionally nice points?)
You can have fruit if you stop harping on!
(*points nicely*)
So I’ll get big trebble if I string it along?
(they’re the finer points)
You’ll get one fruit piece percussion and a brass curtain tie for each musical pun.
(yes, but what’s the point?)
Nice, though we already have quite the ensemble!
(are you pointing something out?)
Your ensemble of tubers? Not a musical fruit.
(I’m pointing in a different direction)
You might want to seek help immediately then… Whatever Sam’s carrying to be so trollish could be contagious…
No i am not sam’s dad lol. He can be irritant at times but…
where is this pic from people, stay on topic or go to
face book and chat ……
go away
Oh dear. Its almost as if they give pc’s to 7 year olds these days.
maybe Sam and jam are the same persons.?
No.
Definitely not.
Unlikely
Ummm…. Ok lets see!
Fisrt? Get an avatar?
No, it just doesn’t feel right!
*feels dirty*
Don’t worry jam, after I use the bar of soap below to wash his mouth out, I’ll let you use it to clean up. *squeeze*
I’ll need the brain bleach too please Cuddles!
*squeeze*
*starts digging through the cabinet under the kitchen sink* I know I have some somewhere! *bottles start flying across the room* aHA! Here you go! *hands jam a new bottle of brain bleach* The bathroom is down the hall to the left
*squeeze*
Do you have any brain bleach with caffeine? I can’t seem to get going this morning.
*squeeze*
‘morning jam.
This thread is quite interesting. Holy cow!!
–
Did anyone notice the fail pic?
Morning!
What picture?
Exactly.
Picture this…crystal clear water, warm swimming weather, somewhere in the Maldives… Meh, or you can think about the fail pic. *shrug*
I would rather think about what you suggested. God I need a vacation!!!!
I’m hearin’ ya sistah! I hear the snorkling in the Caribbean is nice this time of year
YUP! I am thinking about having my wedding on an island somewhere.
Wow! What a nice thought!
It’s an anime character. . .
Ah, yes! It keeps repeating.
Yes, seeing him definitely makes me gag.
That dirt will never come off. Just thought I’d point that out.
*smacks 5 eagles across the face* *goes to grab the bar of soap to wash 5 eagles’ mouth out* Don’t let me ever hear anything like that come out of your mouth again young man! Do you understand me?
why,what did i do ?
Husband & wife – Ivor & Henrietta…son – Hugh
Husband & wife – Ivor & Henrietta…son – Hugh
Ok there not. still no answer on the picture DrB?
All hail King Size Dick
Hail Sam?
Behaviour – yes. Sexual organ – no.
Don’t bow in front of me. I may poke your eye out…
Your lightsabre is extendible too?
should i turn my back then?
doh!
bow down and tremble
I don’t exaclty bow for kind size dicks; I only get on my knees… :-X
*replaces ‘d’ for ‘g’*
*replaces ‘for’ for ‘an’*
*adds ‘le’ at the end*
kneesle?
If you ignore Cuddles’ original post, it makes more sense.
Kindle?
d for n…
replace “for” for “an” = d”an”g
add “le” to the end = dang”le”
I think that’s the best I can do with what I’ve got to work with.
I was wondering if that’s what jam meant hahah.
I honestly have no idea!
Don’t ask me! I know nothing.
hehe
Didn’t want to know anyway.
If I DANGLE it in front of you, will you forgive me?
I’d be gobsmacked you had one to dangle to be honest.
(Thankyou, *squeeze*. Now I see how it came about)
You’ll be amazed at what I can dangle about!
*squeeze*
It’s true, you’re amazing.
*looks around to see who the Moomin is talking to*
*shrugs*
JAM! You’re amazing!
*points at Jam*
Yes, you.
*Gets on knees*
Like this?
*starts “worshipping”*
forgot
*removes teeth*
Put those back in and get off your knees Granny!! There are kids here and there shall be no ‘worshipping’ of any kind today.
Sorry
I like your new name and I also LOVE pigs!
Like when they test cosmetics on them: So cruel, yet so sexy, yet so delicious!
Though mostly the lipstick’s tested on sheep.
Its just not the same though, the twirly tail, the big nostrils,
1/2 hour orgasm etc etc
*rofflesnort!*
Can’t resist it. . . .
They test clown facepaint on balloon animals.
*flees*
*hops on a pig to go after The Moomin*
Come here you!
*gets distracted by the perfume the pig is wearing*
*crashes into a pole*
That’s no pole! It’s a ham-bush!
Thanks Granny!!! Animal testing is no fun
. I am going to my corner to cry now… *sniff*
Ohhhhhhh now I get it! GCF’s doing the testing from the condom Fail?!
*shudder*
Great. Granny’ll have to stick to shagging today
not the pineapple again!
*snork!*
This is so fake.
thanks Sebastion for staying on topic
not like the other riddlen kids.lol
Hey, I’m a riddlen’ kid and I take offense.
If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound?
This is like when you drive and you see a really bad accident and you can’t help but look. I initially believed Sam was a 12 year old girl but he said he is 28. YIKES!!!
Odd, that's what my first impression was...I wonder what his widow misses the most about him
She doesn’t because she preserved ‘it’ in a jar.
Gah! Foiled by you again LEILA!
Sorry. Promise to ‘try’ and wait next time Moomin.
You’ve greased yourself with BaconLube to slip in faster haven’t you?!? That’s why you’re stopping the rest of having it. You’re a slippery customer. I’m onto you.
I would allow the marketing of BaconLube if the authorities would ascertain me about one thing. Is it true that they line up the little pigs and perform lyposuction on them and in turn market the ‘retrieved’ product as BaconLube™?
I thought it was obtained through colonic irrigation after forcefeeding the pigs olives?
Ew! *throws up in mouth*
A lot of conflicting information out there Moomin. Until there is a definite, there will be NO BaconLube™.
EeeoooowwwWW! Going rough?! No wonder you say exit only!!!
He was the star attraction of ‘puppetry of the penis’.
His Othello brought tears to the eye.
Oh, that were tears?
*sprays*
HAHA!
I vowed not to be smutty today; you’ve saved me the trouble.
What? Not going to be smutty today? Why, why, why???
jam, help me out here. In above comment, should I have written “those”, or is “that” okay?
I vote for “those”.
I thought you were doing Moomin speak!
Made sense to me.
We had this guy come to our city called Prickasso, very odd, he paints picture with his member.
I wonder if he makes the paint different temperatures for different sized brushes
I would like to live in a city called Prickasso, but for now Gent will have to do.
I would like to inhabit his trousers, but he’s a bit cranky as he’s got the painters in all the time.
Please tell me you’re making this up.
I’m making it up (clickie)
Kill yourself.
shouldn’t it be king sizeD dick?
Why the King sized ‘D’ ??
‘Cause the didn’t rate a double ‘D’??
ahem…’cause they…
If it was a correctly written english phrase, maybe.
But since it’s a ( made up ) surname…
I have met several from this family.
Oh you swing thata way! *passes quadruple shot cup ‘o joe*
(Morning!)
*gulps down the quadruple shot and looks around sleepily*
(Gooooooooddd Morning!)
*gives Malcite a wedgie* HI!!!!
Here’s an ‘i’ to complete your name.
I loveeeeeeeeee morning wedgies!!!
Morning!
sam equals douchebag
I'd say the equation looks a little more like this: Sam<douchebag.lol, good name!
Isn’t “family” spelled with a y? not an ie?
its a double fail
@ Namees: It’s a German Tombstone. That’s how family is spelled in German.
It’s a fake though, the G and the C are clearly photoshopped.
Hm, I wonder if there’s some way to wrangle an invitation to one of their family reunions?
I wouldn’t be too shure about that tombstone being photoshopped. There is (or was?) a more oder less well-known singer from cologne with this name. But the time he chose it most people could not understand the meaning of that name…
otherwise seems strange to me that his tombstone bears his name as artist…the more it is strange, that it sais “family king size dick”…..
ah, I just found out about his name…thought he chose it for himself, but he didn’t.
His nickname is “Dick”. “King Size” was added by some of his fans, which meant to honor his great voice..(what a f***ing stupid idea)
Not even a GOOD ’shop job…
11:05 AM ET 12/08/97 German pop singer King Size Dick escapes fire
(Updates with details about singer’s name)
COLOGNE, Germany (Reuters) – A popular Cologne singer named King Size
Dick escaped shaken but unhurt from his apartment Sunday when a fire broke
out during a dinner party, his wife Inge Ganss said Monday.
King Size Dick, a heavyset baritone known for his thick grey hair and
long flowing beard, was hosting a party for 10 guests including Cologne
Mayor Renate Canisius and well known local media figures.
King Size Dick, a popular local celebrity known for belting out rock
songs in a thick Cologne accent, was born Heinz Ganss in 1942.
As a young singer in Britain in the 1960s, he was given the nickname
“King Size” by musician friends for his size — six feet tall and 250
pounds, his wife said.
He returned to Cologne in the late 1960s and local fans added “Dick,”
which means “fat” in German, to his stage name.
“We had no idea what the name meant in English until about 15 years
ago when my husband was about to appear on the same television show in
Germany with Tina Turner,” Inge Ganss said. “She said she had seen his
name on the program.”
“We were both shocked, but it is an affectionate-sounding name in
German and he was already so well known in Cologne that there was no way he
would have changed it. The electric and phone bills are in his name and King
Size Dick is on our mailbox.”
…
REUTERS
mlparks13 thank you (meegwetch in ojibwa is thankyou)
For clearing that up too bad the rest of the dough heads
couldn’t and went on rambling about themselves (boring)lol, kidding.
Ich sage einfach mal abschließend in meiner erfundenen Sprache – die erfunden sein muss weil Google sie nicht übersetzen kann – dass dieser Comments-Thread der beste FAIL ist den ich seit langem gesehen habe. Ich glaube ernsthaft, dass SAM eine gestellte Figur des Blogs ist und dieser Thread selbst zum FAIL ernannt werden sollte – so dämlich kann doch ein Mensch alleine gar nicht sein!
Deutsch gibt es nicht – Google kanns ja nicht übersetzen. Viele hier verstehen aber die Sprache und haben per Zufall sich exakt die gleiche neue Sprache ausgedacht… das klingt für mich absolut so als häte es sich ein PhD ausgedacht
Und dann die Folgerung Kein Avatar –> er kann es nicht –> er muss doof sein
Das ist genauso gut wie SAM hat kein Aquarium also ist er ganz sicher schwul. Warum? ganz klar: Leute mit Aquarium mögen Tiere – also mögen sie auch Menschen. Und dann mögen sie auch Kinder. und dann haben sie auch selber welche. Und dafür brauchen sie eine Frau, also sind sie nicht schwul. Da alle Menschen mit Aquarium nicht schwul sind müssen alle ohne schwul sein. SO denken PhDs
Wow… the comments are a much bigger fail than the picture… Of course there’s the troll who’s trying to be smart and you guys are stupid for trying to communicate with it…
And picking on people without avatars is kinda like racism… avatarist!!
get a life.
whats an avatar and how do i get one.
Sacrifice a troll to the avatar gods atop the highest peak in the land.
are you a troll ? lol
Alright, this is for everyone who cares:
The tomb is placed in Cologne/Germany. It’s the tomb of a famous jazz-saxophonist named Dick. His nickname meanwhile was King Size just because he was a huge person. So as a memorial (I don’t think its a real grave) the people putting this thing up decided to put his Jazz-nickname on it. And I think they didn’t even recognized the funny thing about “King Size Dick”, although it is pretty obvious…
have a nice day
Kingsize Dick (Heinz Ganss) is still alive. The one who died is Alex Parche who played with Kingsize Dick (“Dick & Alex” in the 70s).
100% shotopopped.
Wow, samplex is actually right. (www.kingsizedick.de/stories.php)
…which doesn’t mean the tombstone isn’t shotopopped. It is. Samplex is only partially right. The dead guy’s name was Alex Parche. Kingsize Dick is Heinz Ganss and he’s still quite alive.
hey pootpoot!
I actually saw that thing with my own eyes: its on a real graveyard and the picture is not photoshopped. weird, of course, but true.
and I’m sorry for the inaccuracies in the name-story…
the tombstone belongs to Heinz Ganss (he has bought it in advance…)
This is not a fail, a family name like that is a clear WIN
samplex: wo stehtn der? Melaten?
novablazer: i think you’d better read the postings above
andy: ja, is schon ziemlich geil gewesen der Kerl…oder was auch immer es war…naja, Trolle gibbet halt überall^^
yes it’s Melaten (there’s a picture at bilderbuch-koeln.de if you search for “king size dick” ^_^)
My dead grandpa is in that tomb.
I certainly know that mine isn’t…
I wish I had that surname…
oh wait, i do.
obvious photoshop is obvious
fail
^
It’s German, bitches. Why does everyone seem to think anything in another language is English fail?
BTW, dick in German means fat. :\
This is the lamest fake ever…
I want that too!!!
MONUMENTAL WIN!
Hey… Anyone notice the plant on the bottom of the tombstone? Guess what it looks like…