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Ow! Ow! OW!
Owl.
Who?
Me?
That guy needs a new career as a Navy fighter pilot!
That looks like it kinda hurt…
No.
Mud baths are quite soothing.
Not when you’re driving an F-18.
…while blindfolded.
in the headwind
Hey, we’re still talking to you on the last fail.
Hee…!
Feeling feisty tonight, my sweet?
and one-armed
An F-15 configured for ground attack is teasingly referred to as a “mudhen”.
why would anyone dive into water that shallow?
He can’t swim.
He was in a (mud)flap.
Indeed. He had such high hopes. At least the fail was spectacular enough to make a good story.
It’s really multiple fails in one. It’s a miracle how people manage to pull off so many fails in under 40 seconds. Wonders will never cease.
1. Diving into a lake from shore.
2. Diving into a lake from 10 feet away from shore.
3. Failing to dive in the first place, resulting in a belly flop.
4. Upon landing, staying in the mud for a full 5 seconds, ensuring that all manners of microbes and biowaste enter your body through your orifices. All 9.
5. There is no #5.
6. Get video-taped meanwhile, so everyone knows are stupid you are.
7. Being stupid enough to do all of the above. Even #5.
He keeps getting shot down though.
I’d never shoot you down! *squeeze*
.
How was your weekend? I bought 2 red raspberry bushes to plant. I may get some blueberry ones, too.
Ooh! We have black raspberry plants in the yard. About two dozen, I think. This will be their second year producing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm.
Berries are my very favorite foods.
People plant these things?!
*looks at cuts on forearms*
*chuckles*
C’mere…lemme kiss those and make them better.
Those lemony kisses tingle; I’m relishing this.
It’s sort of like healing hands…only with a twist.
My weekend was great. Thanks for asking. *Squeeze*
My team won our soccer game, and I worked the re-opening of my Home Depot that came with some situations, other FBer’s know about. May I ask what the berries are for? Are you trying to duplicate our resident Jam?
Doctor?
Doctor.
Give me…
a pill?
No pill’s gonna cure my ills…
The red one will let you continue your life in Wonderland. The yellow will allow you to see the truth
it was a red and a blue pill dummy
or a ….
the news!
I got a…
bad case of..
loving you!
I read the news today, oh boy…
Huey Lewis wants a news drug?
All the young dudes, carry the news.
About a lucky man who made the grade…
may I have permission to squeeze the Moomin?
Teacher sez – Look before you leap head first into a mud pool.
But….but….but he looked and still did!
Can I tell you how many people don’t listen to their teachers…?
You can tell me but that is one thing I do know already! I even have a formula for working it out.
(Mean Mental age/Mean Actual Age)* 100 = % of people who listen to the teacher
All my awake time in class is spent listening to teacher.
And it shows!
Oops – it does?
*checks*
And how much “awake time” do you think that is??
People don’t snooze in my class. They learn early that snoozers are fair game for abject humiliation.
My bio teacher’s called me out on it more than a few times. But, being the model student that I am, she’s usually willing to let it slide.
I can’t help it. When she puts up a note on the overhead projector and turns out the lights, it’s so dark, and my pencilcase is just so soft…
Dragon, I dying to know, what do you do to them?
I for some reason was never able to sleep in class, try as I might.
A few weeks ago, I stood over one guy and made little bunny ears with my fingers over his head. The students’ laughter woke him up. At the beginning of the semester, I pretended to draw on a guy’s face with my pencil. I once “boop!”ed a girl’s nose with my pencil eraser.
I like to be creative!
I think I like the “boop”ing the best!
Snork-rofl! You would know, Teach!
I’m sorry. Did you say something?
Nope. I’m all sound and fury, signifying nothing.
.
.
.
*PINCH!!*
Whom.
Oik
FAIL PENIS BOT
Belly flop? Or belly slop?
Big ole Belly Flop
Floppely-doppelies.
Oh! So you have seen Grannycatflap naked!
Aaaaahhh!!!
Judy, that made me *roffle!* and cringe at the same time.
You are most definitely welcome. Maybe.
If you love this kind of humor….gotta go check out Yakkering.com
I like liking velvet
Great, I can’t see it.
The guy dives off the edge only to belly flop into mud and a little bit of water.
Ah, I think I saw that on youtube. But under a different title.
“CSI”?
WNGSISYOPC, your name has gotten considerably longer lately. Are you practicing for rate my typing?
I’m having to diversify, due to the economy.
You should do that airmiles thingy that Adam Sandler did.
He wasn’t even close. Strange idea.
But nowhere near as bad as the guy who tried to jump into his pool from the fence and fell hard on the concrete.
Somebody’s just asking for an SCI.
If he had spent the tarp money, he could have avoided the bank failure.
Could have deposited himself a bit farther out as well.
It would have been in his best interest.
It could have paid some modest dividends.
Instead, he found himself in a hole.
He found himself A Hole? That’s not very nice.
(ignore previous comment, was funnier in my head).
I’m sure it was a hole lot funnier.
*toasts to fluffy*
At least you gave it a hole-hearted attempt
That’s a hole other problem.
Anyone who doesn’t think it’s funny has too much choler.
The hole IS my problem.
(Was tempted to call herself Caghs, the most exalted feline entity of the blogging world, keeper of all catnip, but figured that not only would that probably not fit in the box, but she is too lazy)
Yeah. You see one beer-soaked tubby belly flopping, you’ve seen ‘em all. Yet they still bring a smile to my face.
*Cleans JasonK’s glasses*
There ya go. All better.
I actually do have glasses.
(and so does 50% of the world, to be honest…:()
I had glasses until I had LASIK. Best 58 seconds of surgery in my life!
I have glasses, too. Bought from a Japanese shop, and my nose piece broke a month ago. Problem is, the place went bust
.
They claim they are head and shoulders above the competition, but they don’t stand by their workmanship…damn chiselers.
Wombles Assemble!
DOT ORG!
*dives into action*
Ouch.
I’m sorry, what? I was distracted by the bathing suit.
I saw what you did there, cuddles.
Ooooorgg….
You can have ‘em, sweetpea. :p
Ok gentleman, please explain the names. I’m sure it’s explained in a previous fail but I’m far too lazy to look it up.
Ummm.
Last night I had the idea to be The Zombie Moomin, can’t remember why.
I was damned by Jam, dumped by GCF of Diving fame, castrated by a bench and made the god of dogs by Hairy I think?
Magnificent Mr Cuddle’s is my sidekick in shenanigans.
What with the economy being what it is, some of us are feeling a need to diversify.
Interesting. I guess we can’t make any McMins now though
Not today.
But tomorrow is another day.
Or you could go sit on the bench?
That’s not nearly as fun.
You haven’t tried either yet.
This is true *goes off to sit on bench*
*pours baconlube on bench*
Moomin, I have a mission now … BEHOLD MY Name (required)!!!!
:: standing proud ::
How bout mine?
*stands in front of bench so you can’t see it*
Congratulations and good luck on your mission!
And kudos on the the longname
Equally worthy cause! :: pats BondFan ::
–
Wait…what is this? ::smells hand:: Is this BaconLube™ you’re wearing?????????
Isn’t the countering trolls mission already in progress?
No, I’ve been fondling pigs?
(That’s not better at all is it?)
It's a never ending war.Noghri, the mission already is in progress, but I am one of those managing the offensive, along with the FailMENSA community.
Actually…pretty sure fondling pigs is a bit worse…and a bit more illegal.
And I am one of one the fanatical warriors, ready to give his life for the continuation of a troll-free FAIL Blog for others. Not that I can be beaten by mere trolls.*walks to room and sits on bed*
Prefer sheep anyway.
Pretty sure you’d not enjoy being beaten by the trolls just the same. Their insipid commentary as they attempt to do damage is just depressing.
Lemon squares, anyone?
DIANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*welcome back squeeze*
I thought lemons were round.
*takes a lemon square*
*bows to the master baker*
*squeezes back before saluting* Yes sir, General, sir. Reporting for duty to feed the troops, sir.
*also takes a lemon square*
*salutes and drives away in jeep*
*waves at Diana and heads off to wander aimlessly*
HAY! why the lemons are square?Cans I haves one? Does you eats them?
*joins Moomin on his bed* It will be ok. You can fondle me if you’d like
I’ll even wear my speedo shorts for you!
Yes, BOGGY, you eat them. Here, have two.
*proffers two lemon squares on a small plate*
You can have the plate too.
*takes only one cookie to show Diana he was being serious*
OOOO!
Ooooo! if i smushes themscans we makes sqaure lemonades?
Ha ha ha HAR HAR HAR HAR!
BOGGY maked joke!HUH?
*takes a square*
Yum! Thanks Diana! You always have such wonderful treats to share.
*wonders how to get hands on recipe book*
*bows to the famed BOGGY*
Why hello, Smusher of Trolls. I don't think we've met*extends hand*
We seem be on the same mission here. Oh, and I liked the joke.
*takes willdog HAT!*
Ha ha ha HAR HAR HAR HAR!*EATS LEMONS QUARES*
*MUNCHES PLATE & HAT*YUM! More?*laughs hysterically at BOGGY’s joke*
*hyperventilates*
*passes out*
Come in, action two.
Can you complete the mission?
HAY Blog Nijna!!!
*THROWS Blog Nijna way high into air*
Fwy! Bitty Blog Nimja! Fwy!
You can no fwy? UH OHHHH!
Where frind BFF? HELP!
Blog Ninja Frend broked! You fixes?
BOGGY not meen to!
*grabs tail of passing passenger plane*
The Blog Ninja doesn't get brokened that easy!
Thanks for the ride!*catches Blog Ninja*
*looks carefully*
He’ll be OK, BOGGY – just a bit shaken (not stirred).
WHOA NELLIE!!!!!!!!
*zooms off into the sky*
WN, you forgot to add ‘Pilot’ in your title.
OK!Bitty Nimja Freind!
Lettuce goes SMUSHES sum TROLLS!
a nutter JOKE! YAY!BOGGY gots a jokes books four Easter Bunny Day!
BOGGY all so eated a bunches of Chocolates
BOGGY all so gotta BAD Tummy Eights!
Loving the jokes, um skwerlly?I punish in TIMES OUT!*sits in corner of FailBOG*
*writes
"i nots take Skwerlly name no more"100 times*It was understandable, you just got a little excited. That's all.OK Little Bitty Blog Nimja!We can PWAY!
SMUSHES TROLLS TIME!*drags little Blogmonster/Blog Ninja around looking for trolls*
BOGGY not gets excited!BOGGY NOT wet Pants!
You TAKES BACK... NOW!!Ooh! I almost missed out on lemon bars! May I have one, please? I have to watch the carb intake. Swimsuit season is coming!
Aaugh! I can walk boggy! Ooo, there's a troll! vvvSorry for saying you got excited.
Wait...what's that wet spot?Fails like this make me wonder if there is a morphogenetic field of stupid.
There is a morphogenetic field of stupid, and I live at Ground Zero. Stupid as far as the eye can see. I’ve seen most of the ‘You might be a redneck’ scenarios here, as well as the ‘here’s your sign’ ones.
Aww… *pat pat pat*
*snarfs a lemon square*
Lemon? That’s My most favo(u)red of all citruses!
And in the most perfect of quadrilaterals!
Mine tooooooooooo!! My perfume is lemon-scented.
*surreptitiously snarfs another lemon square*
Hey, I saw that!
*looks left*
*looks right*
*snarfs*
No wonder my lips pucker when I’m near you.
*gives Dragon his lemon square allotment to keep her out of trouble*
.
Hammy, you’re on your own, bud.
*gives hammy her allotment of lemon squares*
We don’t want him to get hurt now do we?
Is this why people call me a tart??
*YOINK!s a lemon square before hammy can eat them all*
You’re a deep dish, not a tart.
And you’re a honey-pie.
That nicely distracted LEILA.
I have a question *raises paw* how do you change the font face?
I mean, I know how to do it in HTML and CSS (I actually teach this stuff online), but I mean how do you do it here?
Every time I try doing any code, it shows the tags, which kind of sucks.
Oh wait, never mind, I think I just worked it out
Thanks for all the help
Hmm, maybe not …
Okay, would the kind gentleman who types in courier please explain this to me?
*prepares to smack her own forehead*
Hey!
Arg!
Wasn’t me.
Did you see the show about kung fu masters who teach their proteges to pull weights with their … you know, what you had castrated?
Their moomin?
Their lemmings?
A duck!
YUP. I don’t even have one and I felt the pain.
THIRD
Nope.
Trust a troll, WN, to be always wrong. Always.
Bah, isn’t it fun to look like a moron by imitating a troll sarcastically? Anyways
there is no point in saying that I am third, considering that I am not even
third (sorry for my english, i usually speak french). I know very well that
this is stupid and I hate more than anythong else people that post “FIRST”.
I don’t think that is gonna save you.
Notice the ‘thong’ instead of ‘thing’. Made me giggle for the pun.
Did someone post a thong???
I know very well that whatever I will say, you will still think I am a
loser/troll/idiot or anything you can think of, but just know that the
more you post negative comments about me, the more i laugh,
just look at your reaction following my “thong” mistake, it is
completely ridiculous, it wasn’t a grammar error, it was a typing
error, and that happens to everyone. Well, continue posting whatever
you want on me and feel free to think that I am overreacting because
of the length of my post, or to think that I am a troll that just want
that people think he isn’t. (Once again, sorry for my english, but I
cannot do better)
I stopped reading after I read the first third.
Moi aussi.
I’m with Avis on this one…not that that’s unusual.
Pretty sure you posting “THIRD” sarcastically is just as annoying as an idiotic twelve-year-old posting “THIRD” for realz.
*nods emphatically to what DTIBOCATOD said*
*head falls off*
Hay Kids!
What Time is IT!?
Howdy Doody time?
Just a guess, for now, today.
Makes the time pass, yay!
Let’s see who wins this.
But you did it anyways...*doesn’t put nunchucks away just yet*
It probably won’t, but it’s fun to imagine in a ridiculous French accent.
:: as a previously lynched failblogger feels bad for François
::
Why are you against the Humane Treatment of Poor Little Pigs, LEILA???
Did I do it wrong? DAMMIT!!!!!
-
:: edits Name (required) hoping no one else noticed ::
-
Thanks a log Nellie. How are you an occasional vegetarian. You’re either in or you’re out. Decide. :: waiting to hear decision ::
log LMAO!!!! I meant LOT.
You also meant “Veterinarian”
OMG!! Hahaha…I stand corrected. Vegetarian / Veterinarian … how is that even close. Wow. I need help.
Ok, now this is ridiculous, you say that my comments are
annoying and useless, and just look at all the totally useless
comments that you posted just because of one word. If it
is so stupid and annoying, why do you reply to it. I think
that is exactly as stupid as posting “third”. It is just my opinion.
But seriously, shouldn’t you be posting intelligent comments
instead of replying to stupid ones? (Yes I consider my own
post completely stupid, because it happens it was my goal)
I wait to see the day where someone will post “FIRST” and
no one will reply to him, because that is exactly what trolls
want: that you reply to them. Now I wish you all a good
troll-less day.
tl;dr
DW it were Ferench to me anyways![BOGGY neber lerned FRENCHY Langauge stuff!]
Frenchy? I’m not even french, I live in Canada
Oh, and congratulations GCF for a brief cameo at the end!
Yeah, I guess if you wash in mud, you’re going to stay dirty.
That’s what you use holy soap for.
It cleans ANYTHING.
Powered by our dirty Granny! Whoo-who!
ummm, Go Granny Go???
Meeting with the big bad wolf.
Granny B Goode
DOH!! Missed it by this much!
Judgment of distance FAIL!!!!
You know how much spas charge for a mud bath like that? A lot.
Wait…you can charge people for a mud bath? I need to get in on this market!
But you have to use clean mud.
Clearly.
Cleanly.
Yes. You have to first wash the mud … scrub it with soap, air dry it … and only then can you enjoy a mud bath.
That’s how you can justify charging a shit load of money too.
So, you’re against the humane treatment of poor little pigs?
Doesn’t sound like a spa I’d want to visit…
You were SO close…depth perception fail!
Should have known. There’s no “water in pool” sign.
It’s nothing 5 gallons of BaconLube™ couldn’t have helped!
Splork!
Hmmm…swimming in BaconLube….
Pass!
*shudders*
Stop murdering the poor little pigs for BaconLube™ dammit!!!!
–
I feel better now.
It's for such a good cause though...At least he’s obeying the ‘No drowning’ rule.
I thought he might croak at the end.
He tried an amphibious assault…and FAILed.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh god!!! lol
That’s what she said
UN DUN DUUUUUUUN: .____.
It’s SO predictable, it’s actually funny!
Damn you waves!
*steals a sip of someones soda*
*snickers about what he put in the soda*
*giggles about the fact that it isn’t really soda*
“Missed it by THAT MUCH!” (in Maxwell Smart voice).
But from the original series. Those were so much funnier than that movie.Most definitely a classic.
I bought the DVD box set of Get Smart recently, and I can’t wait to watch them, as I’ve seen the film.
You'll be amazed by how many phrases were taken from them and put in the film. Like "Missed it by THAT MUCH".Would you believe…a Boy Scout and his pet dog?
Yes! I was so sad by how much they mangled that one!I was as well, and I love Steve Carrell. Surprisingly my parents loved it. I’m begining to question their taste…
The movie was great, but it just couldn't compare.Sluggo = copy cat
:: jealous of his/her impression of maxwell smart ::
did he actually think the dive was possible when the waters were so shallow?
Apparently he did, though I think if he would have took proper precautions and put Baconlube™ all over his stomach he would have just kept going.
Yes.
Are you a Snark Lark?
I could be, I suppose.
UNRELATED NEWS: DA VINCI CODE SEQUEL PLANNED FOR SEPTEMBER 2009
Clickie.
But, but he didn’t WRITE one! Didn’t they screw up the story enough already?
It’s actually a prequel. Which he actually did write.
Angels and Demons is coming out next month here. I think.
OK, I just saw a trailer for it, it comes out (in Chicago at least) May 15th. I plan to see it, as it was a better story than The DaVinci Code. Here’s hoping I won’t be TOO disappointed.
Angels and Demons was a MUCH better story! Glad I’m not alone in thinking that very thing. Thanks, Avis.
Everyone makes fun of me because I have never read the book nor watched the movie.
I don't want to.It’s an OK book, and the movie was no where near as good as the book. I am afraid to see what they’ve done to Angels and Demons.
I thought both books were fantastic. However, one has to remember it is a book of FICTION. So many people will just believe everything they read.
You mean…the Opus Dei have nothing to do with it?! AAAAH!!!
*speeds away on jeep*
That’s the scary part, Ms B – as a Christian (not a Catholic), the whole story is so messed up, Biblically speaking, that I shudder to imagine the masses who will watch it and think it’s reality…
I never read The DaVinci code, but I have read Angels and Demons. I rank it among the worst books I’ve ever read. Some bad books are merely boring, but Angels and Demons went out of its way to insult my intelligence at every opportunity. (Example: He spent more than a page dancing around the subject before dramatically revealing that the villain had cut out the scientist’s eye to use it to bypass the retinal scan, after it was strongly implied that that’s what had happened in the one-page prologue. I got the distinct impression that he thought I was too dumb to understand anything that wasn’t pounded into my head with a large hammer.)
Note: I know nothing about the movie, but Angels and Demons takes place *before* The DaVinci Code.
I love reading but also like to watch movies. As a general rule, movies are never as good as the books. A lot details get lost in translation.
One of the best movies from a book is A Series of Unfortunate Events. After I read the books, I was a little disappointed with. Then I watched again. Now I think it is way better than the books. I love Jim Carrey!!I loved Jim Carrey in Liar Liar. I never did get his humor on other movies.
Hello, new to comments, but not to failblog – just wanted to say HI (Love you guys! Your comments are usually funnier than the fail!!) and I also love Jim Carrey – Liar Liar was one of my faves.
*runs to corner cowering waiting to be called a troll and flogged with a wet noodle*
*eyes mareebz*
*eyes noodle*
How ya doin’, mareebz?!
*SQUEEZES*
Aw thanks WhoaNellie for not flogging me!
*SQUEEZES*
Flogging isn’t allowed on Moandays.
Tomorrow is a different story.
Ah, yes – Moandays vs. Tweezedays.
The eternal conflagration.
*runs to block mareebz from getting hit by a wet noodle*
Don't touch him! He's no troll!Aw thanks Blog Ninja
You’re sweet. *squeeze*
Thank you for protecting me.
I’m a lady.
*squeezes fine maiden back*
Sorry about that. All in the life of a ninja, ma'am!*vanishes into the shadows*
As pharos I can see, you’ll fit in. Welcome!
Oh, uhh…welcome to the failblog commenting section. I’m fairly new to the comments too, been looking and reading for a while though. Looks as though you already know the ropes around here.
Me too. I don’t know much, but I have been following for some time. I love reading these comments. I know that pretty much everyone here wants to see proper grammer and punctuation, so I’ll try my best.
Uh…I don’t know if my comment posted up earlier, but I’ve been following
failblog for awhile and I am also new to commenting. I just love reading the comments they’re sometimes more funny than the fail itself. I know most people want to see proper grammer and punctuation, so I’ll try my best.
Oh and by the way how do you get an avatar to appear? I thought you could just use your profile picture, but I guess not.
*waits anxiously for approval of fellow failbloggers*
The best comedian ever is Simon Pegg.
Thank you for your warm welcome Admiral Apparent and Bobbynoname. I’ve been on failblog since about August ’08 – so I’m familiar with many of the people here. There certainly has been a recent influx of notably trollular units, I take it due to school being out.
Hullo mareebz, and welcome to the Failblog community. I see that you have an avatar, so welcome also to failMENSA!
*hands over offcial failMENSA badge*
Why thank you Mr. uuh, ok here goes … General BondFan4518 of the 3rd Witty Comments Countering Trolls Division/BFF NEWS… *whew* did I say that right?
You’re welcome. Call me BF. It’s my nickname here.
Hi mareebz. I, like yourself watched from the shore for a while before deciding to jump in. If you would like, you can wade with me in the Noob Pool.
*squeezes*
As did I.*Jumps into the Noob Pool with Starfish*… *squeezes*
My goodness Starfish, you’re not wearing any swim trunks!
Sorry about that. I should have warned you.
*puts swimtrunks back on*
Yeah, sorry, we didn’t have a chance to warn you about that one – you jumped in too quick.
Nice to see new faces. Welcome.
*pops in*
Welcome, mareebz!
*gives mareebz a cookie*
Glad you decided to come out of the woodwork.
Ummm, I did too, but didn’t announce my n00biness, only because I thought that wood work better. May I have a cookie now too?
*gives foop a cookie*
There you go, hun.
Thank you very much.
*plants shy smooch on DW’s cheek*
p.s. Although it doesn’t show in much of my commenting here (possibly due to the fact that I spend much more time reading and giggling than commenting…), I just wanted to say this: I was very fortunate to have had an English teacher much like you seem to be, when I was in high school. It’s so good to know there are still those out there (teachers) who care enough to “boop” the sleepers and mentor those of us who really wish(ed) to learn.
Eh, we don’t go around smooching people we just met, foop. Squeezing is generally accepted, though.
Welcome!
*squeeze*
On the subject of awesome English teachers, I also had one that DW reminds me of. My very favorite story about here was the stuff of high school legend. Our last 6-week term of class we studied To Kill a Mockingbird (I lost track of how many times I read it, but it was at least 6 times within those weeks. I love that book). Our Final Exam was to respond to the prompt “What is courage?”
One student simply wrote “This is,” turned in the paper, and left class. She got an A.
Stupid gravatar still isn’t showing! Grr…
Aaaaarrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!! Name FAIL and spelling FAIL!
*removes superfluous ‘e’ from ‘her’ and replaces ‘n’ with ‘m’ in name*
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have the bukkit please?
Or “new lighthouses”, as it were.
The bigger fail is that it made it here.
Isn't it odd when you see people talking to themselves in third person? Sort of like Gollum?That just makes it easier for us to spot the trolls.
What part of “FAIL” Blog do you not understand?
:: watches in horror as Freakie gets humiliated in the room ::
That’s OK Leila, eventually you’ll learn how to spot the trolls as fast as we do.
There is a possibility you could be wrong.
:: runs away ::
*is curious to know what LEILA did*
She seems to really dwell on it.I was lynched the other day. The room was convinced I called Diane a retard when I was just referring to a previous failblog.
I need therapy. HELP ME!!!!!!
*looks at LEILA*
Want some candy?
Yes.
-
I am worried about you. Your name keeps changing. Wanna lay down for a little bit?
NEVER accept candy from an occasional rapist! Did you not learn this as a child?
*rewinds to childhood* … Nope. No one told me.
That?? I knew what you meant. You’ve got nothing on me. I started a character named King Troll, intended to Failbloggers a workout with their anti-troll skills. However, things got out of hand and I insulted a large number of FAIL Bloggers and became one the most hated trolls on FAIL Blog. Finally, I decided I was going to end the King Troll soon, but during a character change, I screwed up and a comment came out with the name of King Troll and the hat of willdog. My god, you should have been there that day.
…I don’t know whether to be horrified, impressed or enraged. Why would you do something like that? Seriously, why?
You never found out? Damn, I hate to go through this again.
What does not kill you makes you strong.
If and when I am proven wrong, I acknowledge it.
AND I apologize when that happens.
Off topic, but I believe I found the worst joke of all time on a popsicle stick, and I am not making this up, this is what is says word by word it…
What goes 99…clunk 99…clunk 99…clunk?
Answer: A centipede with a wooden leg.
*replaces is with it*
*removes unnecessary it*
My hands aren’t working right today.
How many you have?
99, and one wooden one.
I’ve read worse.
This is what I found in a christmas cracker:
What’s sweet, sticky and runs on steam?
Answer: A chew-chew train
Haha, yeah, that’s pretty bad, but how does it go “99…clunk” does it say the word 99? Does it take 99 steps? It just doesn’t make sense, at least that one makes sense, granted it is a terrible joke, but it still makes sense…sorta
In Germany thats called a Flachköpper.
Wanted to say the same.
WERNER WIN!
Methinks he has a depth of field issue… Wow. How does one get to be that age and not have even a soft grip on physics?
Someone called?
Yes. I demand to know if any poor little pigs were harmed in the making of, well, YOU.
*WARNING MAY BE GRAPHIC TO SOME*
Well, first they take the little piggies, sits them in chairs in front of a computer screen and makes them watch all the trolls on failblog condensed into one thread.
Then they take the pigs, throws them all in a bukkit and Screams the word “FIRST” at them over and over again, it’s a horrifying scene. Then the pigs just give in and turns themselves into Baconlube™.
*ahem*
Only the “warning may be graphic to some” was supposed to be in bold.
Yup, that would do it.
Obvious fail is obvious!
Obviously!
Obliviously
Perhaps you could change your name to lady redundant woman.
I see you're back. Thank you for the refresher course...again.:rolls:*retrieves ‘s’ to make a perfect
*
DOT ORG!!
ZAP!!!
Ka-BAM!!
DOT ORG WIN!!!
That’s my line!
Just get over it, ok?I took care of it; that won’t be happening anymore.
Wow!
I could never have figured this out without your help!
The universe is now explained!
*basks in …’s glow*
*barf*
Radiation can do that. Try a hazmat suit next time.
Thanks!
Do the glasses Emperor provided help any with that?
Some, but full protection is best.
New product just completed, the welder’s ignorance mask. Totally invisible, though provides even greater shielding from sad repeats such as the above. Goes on sale in about 5 seconds.
First!
*Awaits the dismemberment of this poor tortured soul*
*dismembers poor tortured soul*
*admires most excellent dismemberment skills*
WhoaNellie! You change careers like I change my….like I change my….oh, nevermind. Can you go back to being a massage therapist for a little while? I’ve got a crink in my lower back.
(Yeah, that saying doesn’t really work for those of us who don’t wear any…does it?
)
Careful, talk like that could sent the Admiral into a tailspin!
With this particular breed of troll, it’s advised to just ignore him. If he gets out of hand, THEN we draw and quarter him.
/IGNORE
-
:: Takes Avis former advice on trolls ::
Asterisks, Leila, asterisks.
Okay, will you please forward me the rule book?
-
*mamma mia*
-
*facepalm*
She got it goin’ on
*acting as a teacher’s pet*
What does *facepalm* mean? I am serious. I’ve seen it used many times and I forget to ask each time.
I’m not sure I can say it without sounding insulting. It’s a action, that is literal. Like the V8 commercials, except you do it to yourself. Look at the context it gets used in when you see it again.
Why next time? Let’s use the context in which you used *facepalm* today. I don’t know what V8 commercial you are referring to. Is it something a dude would do to his … hoohaa? If so, how does it fit in this context. Too many questions?
*walking slowly to corner*
LEILA, this is a facepalm. Clickie.
WOW! And thanks BF.
I am officially putting Avis on the “Doesn’t Like Me” list.
EXACTLY!
That exactly was for BFF. And I’ve facepalmed over things a lot of folks have said. It is not indicative of dislike. I think you’re getting a little defensive.
Oh my god BF, that was great. How’d you know I love Star Trek TNG!
*bows*
Thank you, mareebz. I always strive to make people happy.
Why do you even bother responding to my posts if that’s the case?
Let me repeat. It’s not indicative of dislike. It doesn’t always mean that whatever was done was dumb either. Sometimes, occasionally, it is more to do with the one doing the facepalming than the other.
Ok, let’s see if i can clarify. It’s an action one makes (applying ones palm to one face) in disbelief.
Like “I can’t believe you just said that” *facepalm*
Or “OH! I should have known!” *facepalm*
Come on, you have to have seen this in TV shows!
Or at least have seen a V8 commercial!
*ahem*
“ones own palm to ones own face”
Not getting defensive Avis.
*Ahem*
Methinks Avis needs a couple apostrophes.
Here: ‘ ‘
You can borrow those, but I’ll want them back at some time.
Clickie!
I love it!
And let’s not forget:
*head desk*
My favorite!!
*headdesk**headdesk*
ow
I has crayons!~
I cans draws on the Troll?Well, hi there, I see you are back. Maybe you should switch it up every once in a while, maybe become a first troll for a bit.
NO! THERE IS NO WIN. PLEASE DE-BRAND VIDEOS PLZ.
THX.
Oh wow, Failblog is going to listen to you now.
THX = tyrant humming xylophone?
Tom Hanks Xeroxed.
Tony Hawk: Xtreme!
Transnational Hepatic Xenolith.
THX 1138 was a film directed by George Lucas (according to Wiki, anyways.. I never even heard about it).
DOT ORG!!!!
Again? Sheesh, I don’t even get to do it once today…
*coughs* staged >_>
So you’re saying it’s photoshopped?
the shadows are obviously fake…
The fakes are obviously shadowed…
Obviously faked shadows…
*steals lil ™ from Leila’s name and adopts it as her own*
How do you think I got it fluffy? At least you were open about it.
Can’t you see the pixels as he’s diving? He obviously made it into the water.
He made it in, swam deeper, caught a fish and swam back. If you magnify the video, you can see him a little further out enjoying the fish he just grilled.
No, lip-sinked.
So intentional…
Yet so delicious.
Yes, we must funnel our wit towards this desolate fail!
*hops into jeep and zooms off to Photobomb Extra*
*swings into passenger seat*
Off we go!Hey, where’d everybody go?? God, I feel so alone here. *sniff*
Hey, did you notice it played the video twice, but slower the the second time, providing the caption “[X] WIN”, whereas X = ironic twist that led to fail? How droll!
“DOT ORG!!”
Phew!
You got it!High five!
Woohoo!
I was getting worried there.
this is the national sport of Slovakia
what the, why would you do that? he must be really really drunk!
,,l,
AHAHHA.. that was amazing! How could he NOT realize he was in no way making that dive?? lol damn man! haha
Damn! Failblog keeps eating my comments!
Not enough trolls around to feed it?
Maybe.
New champion!!!
Ooooo!!! A competition???
Hmm… how low can you go…
SPLASH!
All right you kids keep it down in here.
Just wait until your father gets home.
*WAITS*
*THINKS* ::I wonder why Skwerlly Bob neber toled me I has a father?::
Maybe bacause you don’t have one or Skwelly Bob IS your father!!!
‘nother 8 feet and he would have had it.
Youtube mitch and reeves
How does one do this???
lol, stupid pollacks
Stupid Serb
Ouch !!! his face must have hurt.
Holy Diver
You’ve been down too long in the midnight lake.
Stupid diver(sity) dissers.
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*headdesk*
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*headdesk*
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*headdesk*
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*headdesk*
ow
fail dive
as we would say in northern germany:
“flachköbba macht laune!”
the comic-figure “werner”, a beer drinking biker and plumber aprentice from northern germany, jumps into the see and hits the mud. after that, he just said “flachköbba macht laune” (roughly “flat-diving is cool”).
……zlate piesky???
RUN JESUS RUN!!! You’re free make a break for it man!! We’ll help!
Amazing way to break your neck. Brilliant, just brilliant.
jajajaja too stupid!!!
Look ma! No brains!
This fail can be classified under the catagory of : “You knew that was coming” fails. I can also classify it under the : “You dumb***!” fails.
another gold medal for Poland..
Wow. What an idiot.
Thats pretty hilarious, lol.
agrotime blog
i busted out laughing right in the middle of a lecture… AWW MAN… fail
In his heart and mind he can see himself flying through the air, but in his kidney, he can feel the rock he fell on!
FAILURE IS IN THE EYE OF THE FAILBLOGER
diving fail= mud bath win= superman win= pain
belly jump + pebbles = massive skin detatchment (+ sea water + sand) = massive pain.
LOSER
lol you got poned
Only on the inside