Submitted by Robert H
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Cheezburger Company Blog
Cat burglar?
Should have tried the cat flap
Slips in easier via the back door?
*waits for the inevitable baconlube comment*
*and/or potato*
*inserts lubed potato (comment)*
Most likely he was trying to steal pooptarts. Some people will go to great lengths to get them.
Yes they do this because they are the only stuff in the entire world that i would go and steal.
Don’t strudel the horse.
And don’t trifle with him, either.
Just donut do anything to him I wouldn’t do.
Gad. I can do ANYTHING to him then!
This will take some planning.
*starts making a pie chart*
*cobbles our ideas together*
Danish unlikely the horse will ever trust me again.
Make sure not to fritter about!
I think I’d have kicked off the shoe and boogied outta there!
Nike make the best shoelaces
But…but those are NIKE’S! You don’t just leave those behind like they were Adidas or something.
Cut the shoelace then…easy to replace that part.
He was incapable to gnaw off his leg to escape. Truly weak-willed individual.
should have tried flip flops…
or velcro shoes like the little kids wear
Velcro, he should have used velcro
That would have turned his frown upside down.
I call a double fail!
There is a job fail just to the right to the fail itself
and you all failed failing it!
spelling fail, “an hapless burglar”
By God you’re right. They misspelled idiot.
No, that is correct. I don’t think that it should be. I think it looks wrong also, but it is accepted. So, it’s actually Joshy Fail.
Failing to capitalize on it by saying something witty FAIL.
Perhaps everyone was saving it just for you, so that you could feel special.
Tripple fail score! The failing of those who failed to find the fail at the top in the text, grammar fail ahoy!!!
hey ur right
I call double fail. fail 1 hanging burgler. fail 2 who ever wrote the column. “an Hapless burgler” um.. where the hell is your proper grammer?! A Hapless burgler
Cat burglers always land on their feet.
No, cat’s land on all their paws…
Good point.
*removes ‘ *
Bat burglar? He caved in to his instincts when the sun came up.
Mat burglar? He’s doing a headstand on a mat.
Rat burglar? Because it rhymes with mat?
Cat? I’m a rabbit!
Silly rabbit, traps are for Keds.
Creative Comment of the Day WIN!
His trophy case is full of those.
Trapper Keeper?
Flapper Weeper!
and I’m not silly!
Big ears
Noddy
Plod
Twat burglar?
Burglar:I just want to bring love and joy to the world!
It was very considerate of him to take time out of his day for us here at FAIL Blog.
Burglar:
¡dlǝɥ
“An hapless burglar…”
*shakes head sadly*
Well, on second thought, if you were pronouncing this with a British accent, it would work.
*hands burglar some cool hwhip*
hehe..
How’s that working out for you? hmm?
Let’s just say there’s not much left.
Ok.
‘there’s not much left’
But I’m doing ALL RIGHT! HAHAHAHAHA.
Sorry to everyone. Couldn’t resist.
*moves hand across face*
*collapses and cries at Aja’s feet*
I’m so sorry, I’ll try not do it again.
Waaaaaah.
I hate to see a man cry…
So, shove off, out of the office, there’s a good chap.
Hahahahahaha.
Only certain British accents, thank you.
Cor blimey Mary Poppins. An hapless burglar ‘appened along.
*drops monocle*
What’s a monocle? Is it those bikes with only one wheel?
Yes.
*peers through one-wheeled bicycle at Malicite*
*rings his bell*
*hauls luggage out to the car*
Ahhh what a delightful monocle! *tips him with a bottle of tequila*
Tequila… Ugh. I had too many Sheaf’s stouts at WhoaNellie’s in yesterday’s FAIL…
*lays on floor with mouth open below the tequila bottle so no drops are wasted*
Hmm…the position is a little awkward, but…
*squeeze!*
*appreciates mr. cuddles tequila appreciation*
What the…? I strongly object to all the nonsense being told on this site! Monocle? A bike??? People ask a perfectly reasonable question and get nothing but silliness in return. It has to stop!
Now, young Desimon, Monocle was of course a famous film by French filmmaker Jacques Tati, a tale about the struggle of a simple man with…
Yes, but Les Vacances de Monsieur Hulot was really his best work.
And I agree, stop all this silliness this instant!
*walks away doing a John Cleese “Ministry of Silly Walks” walk*
uh…no
I got one of those new rucumbant monocles and it dragged my ass all over the city.
That’s a “green” way of getting about!
lolololol.
…and got his van stuck in a dyke!
(That could have been so much worse)
*gives jam brownie points*
Brownies?? *ears at attention*
Hahaha! It could have!
WEM MWM
Wa eva mingaaaa
your mum works a’ macdonalds
Yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but vicky says she saw your mum up an entire happy meal, and it made her very happy.
Yeah but no but yeah but I was nowhere near her at the time but Jamal said that Jane gave him a blowie by the swings I said shu’up!
Ya’ I know.
Thats what i was thinking lol. Double fail, 1 for robber, 1 for newspaper
an hero he is not
Glad to see I am not the only multi-fail finder. lol
Archaic grammar fail.
I should’ve read the nested comments. I replied about that down below, and then started reading. Shake your head at me, too. D:
I can’t pronounce it right; I keep saying “burger”.
I’m glad someone else noticed the “An hapless…”
A fail within a fail… so sad.
What, he couldn’t either kick off the shoe or break the lace?
I think this was not a very bright burglar.
As opposed to all the MENSA burglars out there.
♪ Been caught stealin’ – once, when I was five ♪
Um…*quickly hides copy of Mensa Magazine*
Bad Kitty!! You didn’t pay for that magazine, did you??
There’s a lot more of them than you’d think, Dragon! The sheer lack of any MENSA-caliber burglars who get caught should tell you so.
shouold have kicked it off and stolen some sissors to cut it free
Those must have been some seriously strong laces.
It takes talent to get your shoelace caught in the top of the window frame.
He was fit to be tied.
All strung out.
He was knot.
But after this little situation, he’s going to have to start toeing the line from now on.
The poice reported that his clothes were laced with drugs.
In keeping instep with his line of work.
“l”.
Simply “l”.
*thwacks WN*
Failblog meme…past fail reference.
Never doubt the Admiral!
*feels bad about the thwack*
*gives WN a cookie*
awwwwwww thanks – I think it was b4 my time…
He will be dealt with ac-cord-ingly.
Heel that he is.
This is what happens when you intertwine haste, stupidity, and crime.
He’s going to hang for this.
Justice is blinds.
I’m afraid it’s curtains for him.
My God! It’s full of stars!
*dances*
*grabs fishing pole*
*casts waaaaaaay up there*
These comments are better than Asterix entendre… loves it!
He’ll just say his friends roped him into it.
He claims they framed him.
He missed his window of opportunity.
either way someone will be (rope) burned
He was definitely in pane.
Is it sill-y to believe he could try for binding arbitration?
His eyes have the glazed-over look.
We are Virginia Tech. We will prevail.
velvent has massive multiple personality disorder. Nothing to see here folks, move along.
Go here:
.
http://www.weremember.vt.edu/
.
Do you remember?
Yes. One of too many similar memories….
Does that site explain what happens to your were-member during a full moon?
I would like him if he would be a HAMburglar..
How?
why?
hurrah!
time to brake out the drinks?
Are they speeding?
Nah, we are trying to have children.
But alcohol before pregnancy leads to pregnancy.
That’s what I heard! I just hope I get to kiss some fish!
see ^ a few comments
*snickers*
I’m technically not a fish, but will I suffice?
*tries to act Koi*
*starts drinking* I’ll keep you apprised of the situation…
*pours Malcite a double*
*gurgle*
I have oodles of chocolate kisses left over from Easter…you want?
*claps his hands like a seal*
*tosses chocolate candies in general direction*
idk, kinda looks like a good view.. or something like that
*robblerobble*
Therapy sessions will be offered from 1-5 on Saturday for those suffering from post traumatic stress due to the disturbing content contained in sweethooligans avatar. This event will be free to the public.
*writes it down in the diary*
You too? I thought mine was scary
Far not as scary as sweethooligan’s avatar.
I’m sorry, but my avatar is the most clicked one in the internet.
That is true, i clicked it.
Twice.
Looks like the Panic button on my keyboard.
Looks like a square-shaped red button to me..
My point exactly.
Try clicking this instead. We’ll wait.
I have one of those on my Myspace page.
Yes, but not scary.
Hello willdog.
I have always wanted to ask you:
Where can i get a hat like that?! I want one!
A real one or on the internet?
A real one please.
Please?
You can find them all over. I think Target and Walmart sell them for about $15. I’ve also seen them at stores like Kohl’s and American Eagle.
Sounds like it should be a shoe commercial.. When your shoes are worth more than freedom.
Looks more like a bat burglar.
haha i hope he dosent suck blood
You suck.
Blood, that is.
Nasty Rude!
haha!
Good one. Unfortunately, word “blood” would be obviously excluded from the usual definition of the species.
it was a joke…..
I believe it’s all gone to his head.
Ooops, sorry! ^^^
*admires AA’s third eye*
Yours was much punnier AA.
I don’t guano about that.
In Soviet Russia, shoe lace ties you.
In Belgium czuhc will start to beat up people who will make one more Soviet Russia-joke!!!
A line has been crossed!
In Soviet California the fault line crosses you!
OK then, here’s a real joke from Soviet Russia:
Standartenführer Stirlitz wakes up to find out he has been arrested. “Who got me? Which name should I use?” – he wonders. – “Let’s see. If they wear black uniforms, I’ll say I’m Standartenführer Stirlitz. If they wear green uniforms, I’m Colonel Isayev”. The door opens and a policeman in a blue uniform comes in saying: “You really should ease up on vodka, Comrade Tikhonov!”
Ha ha ha! Ha ha! Uh…
Hm, I don’t get it.
Na zdorovje!!
FURST!!!!
THIS IS PHOTOSHOPPED!!!!!!
SHADOWS!!!
GET RID OF THE INTRO!!!
STOP MAKING EVERYTHING ‘WINS’!!!
LOL!!!! NOOB! IT”S SHOELAEC WINZZ!!!!!111122!!!1111one!!!!!11!!!!!!
PIXELLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
LOSL I HAS CN SO MUCH PHOTOSHOPS DIS DEFINTLY IZ WAN!!!!
LOREM IPSUM DOLOR SIT AMET
Righty that is.
*insert Swedish chef here*
*inserts Swedish chef*
Howzzat?
Bork bork bork!
That’s what the homowner gets for wishing for a well hung man for his birthday.
Or not.
Worst job in the world?
Not as bad as sitting in a pot of what looks like faeces for a living. Have you named any extrasolar planets yet?
Nope, I need to work on my online advertising, maybe I should make some fancy graphics…
How many alter ego’s, I mean people do you need? Zurack sounds like it could be a planet. Can I have planet catflap?
Zurack is an evil sorcerer, he cannot be a planet!
You can have a planet named catflap if you suggest the name and enough people vote for it, but the chances are… well…
I’d vote for it. We need a three planet system so we can vote for them to be named Filthy, Rich and Catflap
Count my vote in
We do have a three planet system! And that’s just from the easy-to-detect planets!
Right. Let’s make this happen people.
Hmmm.
I think the society guidelines count against me.
No Moomins?
Apparently there has to be some sort of justification for the names. We need to pool our resources to come up with a good argument for our case.
If he were to stay up there a few more hours he would have died…a very slow and painful death…No more oxygen for him…
He would slowly turn blue… No more oxygen, oooh yeah… Passing out… Slooowly…
There is also a grammar fail here. Notice in the article it says “An hapless”.
shouldn’t it be “a hapless”?
A well known grammar rule says that we should use an before vowel sounds; for example, an accident, an item, an hour. We use a otherwise: a book, a hotel, a university.
Notice that we say an hour, not a hour. The choice of a or an is based upon the sound of the word, not the spelling. Hour sounds like it starts with a vowel sound (ow); hence, we use an.
Following this rule, we would say a historic, not an historic because (for most speakers) historic doesn’t start with a vowel sound.
Words of three or more syllables that start with h are treated differently by some speakers, though. (This may be because of the tendency of some regional accents to drop initial Hs.)
Here’s another example. Which of these pairs of sentences sounds better to you?
* We can’t agree on a hypothesis.
* We can’t agree on an hypothesis.
A quick bit of Googling reveals that — as of December 2008 — the phrase a hypothesis is used on 2.22 million pages (80%), and an hypothesis on 538,000 pages (20%). Similarly, a historic gets 70% of the popular vote, and an historic only 30%.
There is a clear preference on the web in favour of a hypothesis and a historic. Even so, a significant minority uses the other form. This supports the view that both forms are widespread. Which form you use seems to be little more than a personal preference and perhaps a matter of accent.
In summary: A historic is more common in online writing, but both usages are sufficiently common to be considered correct.
Lovely!
A bit wordy.
I agree with ^ further up. If it’s Bri-ish, it could be “an ‘apless burglar”, thereby necessitating “an” rather than “a”.
When I see the phrase, “an ‘apless burglar,” it makes me think of all English people as the woman from the Pygmalion movie…
As well it should.
We must bare in mind that this article was writen by an English person who more than likely pronounces hapless as “apless” therefore the an would preceed a vowel sound.
Oops! Jinx.
true, cus this is written by telegraph.co.uk – an english newspaper
And a fine one, at that!
*bares mind*
*thinks he’s elucidating*
(or she — works either way)
maybe…
not really…
could be though…
Don’t count on it…
Chickens, hatch, you know…
Really? You just rocked my world!
Upside down,
Who’s to say what’s achievable while hanging around.
check his pockets
hotpockets? Thought they were pooptarts?
I know there’s a potato in there somewhere
With baconlube of course.
Pooptarts? Who has pooptarts?? GIMMEE!!
A light purse makes a heavy heart.
I’ll bet I could lift your heart.
*smooch!*
…and steal my breath away.
*nuzzles*
Our day ends when you get tied up.
Next time he should wear slip ons.
or a strap-on for extra fail effect
Spiderman kiss fail?
He wanted to surprise Paul Ives.
*hangs upside down*
*smooches*
We’ll have to get Xander to fix the windows again.
Blarg! You’re not Spidey!
*carries on hanging around*
A few Spikes will do until he gets here!
He got potatoed by Sandman, don’t know if he can make it. Sorry.
*Cushions window to make it more comfortable*
I think a Willow frame would look nice.
Ah well, you’ll do nicely!
*smooch*
It might need a Buff(y) occasionally.
*hangs drapes for privacy*
*nearly falls*
Are you staying till Dawn?
Can we all watch the Wizard of Oz??
I wasn’t breaking in I was only doing yoga into my window, something happened and my shoe got caught.
and I fell on a potato, honest
Oh god. xD
double fail the burglar and the report “An hapless”…. great grammar they have whoever the genius was that did it
Double fail you mean? Double fail fail
Using “an” in front of an H word is not necessarily considered wrong. Usage like “an historical occasion” is quite common and acceptable.
Shoelace win!
Haha we just discussed this.
my though exactly
SHOELACE WIN!!!!
Did anyone notice the abs? :: drools ::
*comes to a sudden stop*
*GFC & DrB come hairing throught from previous fail!!!*
*dismounts*
*opens large backpack, jam pops out and……*
*blushes*
Did anyone see that?
Yeah we saw it, I got it on video.
I knew we’d find him up here somewhere!
(Ciao!)
Yes i did. Wasn’t impressed
Male or female?
Looks male, but you can’t be sure these days unless you can see the Adam’s apple
What with all the obesity.
Little of both.
I was actually asking if hairy was M or F but hey, who cares, we are all having fun anyway.
–
Wwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Male.
I didn’t get it because of the other 2 answers.
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Anyway fun there is! yeeharrrr!
Hahahaha! A little of both!
I’m pretty glad you’re a man with a name like hairy
What a girlie-man! I could crush his head like a walnut between my buttock cheeks!
Sounds like THE way to go.
LMAO!! No pun intended Hans.
Something I don’t want to watch. Everyone head for the bomb shelter.
HEY! What exactly are you implying? Hmmmmmm? LOL
Contrary to Arthur’s visions, LMAO always makes me think of Deerhunter.
What is Deerhunter?
A film by Michael Cimino. It’s the Russian Roulette scene with Christopher Walken that comes to mind.
Don’t squeeze the trigger!!!
It’s much more fun to *squeeeze!* the Moomin.
F*cking A.
F*cking a what?
You’re talking like a goddamn traffic cop.
Damn it. I thought I was going to be the only one to have commented on this.
It looks like he’s in the house and his foot is outside.
My workday often feels exactly like this.
HELP!!
I can relate. However, it’s usually my hands that feel tied, rather than my foot…
I always have the feeling that somebody will attack me if i don’t hurry..
I hate my job.
I miss my career.
I hate my boss.
I hate corporate trolls who are total dumbshits !
Unfortunately…that perfectly describes our CEO…kinda depressing.
Double unfortunate when they are the type who make it in the world. Nice doesn’t pay anything.
I love my job. It’s the students I can’t stand.
I miss something…just can’t put my finger on it.
Your brain?
Yeah, have you see it? Where is my brain?
Check the bog.
i remember seeing this in the news, apparently there was a big crowd watching hime but didn’t bother helping!lol!
wow, somebody has been spending time on telegraph.co.uk
I bet it was Tony?
tony?
OH tony! Tony! you know tony… Hmmm… how can i describe him…. Jazzy outfit..
Colorful glasses.. Always smiling….. Could be mistaken for a watermelon….
Yes that’s rigth BALDHEEEEYYYY!!!
oh yeah, THAT Tony, of course.
¬_¬
He looks more like this.
____
/ \
/ ()-() \
\ ,__, /
—–
wow removing the spaces makes him look even more strange then i drew him…
He looks like Eugene of Eugene’s Lair fame.
Oh. Hi. Sorry I’m late.
You sure it wasn’t George?
I got a Spanish test I’ll be back
Hasta La Vista!
Baby.
Oh baby!!!! Come here!!! :: pounces Mal ::
Why hello the… *thud*
Ooops! Sorry.
I’m not complaining!
Uh.. guys? Guys! The spring break crowd is watching!
And what an education they’ll get!
Burglar hot body win…
Ok I’m off now! finally my working day is over!
See you all tomorrow my faily friends.
*waves*
b-bye.
Ci vediamo domani. Ciao.
I hate corporate brown nosers!
–
Had to get that off my chest too.
*substitutes corporate with any*
*substitutes fries for a side salad*
I just got a little overeager with the chocolate ice cream! It’s chocolate! I swear!!!!
Wait a minute, are you saying that sweethooligan’s face… that… that’s not hershey’s?
*runs away screaming*
The corporate variety is worse!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Grammar FAIL too – “An hapless burglar”
This has already been discussed…
Did anyone notice the girl riding the lion in the lower left link?
Sure beats riding a donkey…
theres also an grammar fail
He is an halibut.
You’re nutty
Booby traps… -_-
Shoe-by traps? *da-dum-tish*
Hey, I for one like the booby traps!
Always a nice place to get caught… *wink*
Saw this in the new a while back and happen I share the same name as the failer.
Jesus discover health is just like the baby channel.
Um…does it not look like is left leg is actually going THROUGH the window while the remainder of his body is on the inside of the glass? This picture is kind of confusing me.
“Officer, this shoe ain’t mine!”
is this real? i just cant believe any1 would hang upside down for an hour without just taking their shoe off.
This was shown on World’s Dumbest
Do you get him down get him a cup of tea and then phone the police or be rude and leave him hanging while calling the police, and what do you say when you see him “Umm… Hello?”
AN hapless burglar? Spell check fail.
Probably sued the homeowner, too…
An hapless?
A wincow?
Wtf? lol
666 votes LMAO!
I CAN HAZ A LEEZURLEE TARGIT PRAKTICE?
Protip: Shoes actually come off of one’s feet as they are removable. Perhaps you should downgrade to velcro straps.
clearly the worst job in the world
An helpless….. ?? A helpless
WINdow
I have a feeling this guy sued the home owners and won.
Firs three words:
“a hAlpless burgler”
lack of noticing on failblog’s part fail.
Why is the title in two completely different fonts? =P
Dude, that is a hot burglar. :O What’s he doing robbing people? If he’s that hard up, he could easily get a gig dancing around a pole or sommat.
i farted
“Offiicer, I was’t trying to break in, I just wanted to see if the trainer was my size!”
This guy obvoiusly had a lot of experience being a burgler and a window display
This is a strong nominee for the “Dumbass of the Year” awards in the category “should learn to untied my shoelaces too”.
I actually saw this on tv. As someone else said there was a crowd of people taking pictures and laughing at the fool. The owner of the house came home and saw him, calling the cops. Apparently he had tried to kick his shoe off, but couldn’t. And yes, his left leg is outside because he’d managed to get the window next to the one he’s hanging from open. He tried to tell the cops that he wasn’t a burgler-he saw the real robber and had tried to climb in after him and stop him… lol.
Grammar fail in the Burglar fail!
“An hapless…” ?
“An hapless burglar?” Grammer Fail!
“An hapless burglar?”
There’s a secondary fail lying beneath the original fail at hand here.
Current Affairs fail.
How exactly did his foot get up there in the first place?
He crawled in through the window and it shut behind him.
Can’t have happened in the U.S. The burgler would have sued the home owner and won.
i wish my burglar did this when he stole my couch
Right – stupid, so is the report, major fail there too.
“An Hapless” should of been A Hapless. AN is for words begining with a vowel.
Again with the “An hour”
“An Hapless burglar”? Double Fail!
Wow, quality shoelaces!
He’s HOT!
wait..so for some reason he couldnt reach up and untie his shoe?
Ha
perfect review O.o
Did anyone else notice the grammar fail? “An hapless burglar…”
The more appropriate question is “Is there anyone who hasn’t.”
why didnt he kick off the shoe, then use his hands to free the shoe from where it was trapped?
How the heck did he manage 2 do that?
Yeah that should definitely be a double fail. One fail for the burglar and one for the website that wrote “AN hapless burglar”.
Actually that’s grammatically correct, albeit in the loosest possible sense, stemming from a historical inability to pronounce the letter ‘h’ in ‘hapless’. According to this now obscure grammatic rule I could have stated ‘an historical’, but it irritates the crap out of me as well, despite the fact I am aware of it. Double fail nonetheless: Did you catch the worst job?
I remember this being on the news cuz it happened in my hometown. He didn’t get his shoelace stuck. What happened was he crawled in through the little window above the door (one of those windows that opens on a hinge, kinda like a doggie door) and as he was climbing in he got his foot stuck when the window closed back down. He couldn’t reach up and push the window out cuz his foot was holding it stuck. Quite a funny story actually. But the picture’s wrong cuz it wasn’t his shoelace.
Just thought you all might want to know.
At least he wasn’t caught by his pants!
Did anyone notice the double fail? “An hapless”?
Crime does not pay.
Um…triple fail…on everyone who has mentioned the “An hapless” after it has already been mentioned…about 30 or so times before….
Wouldn’t that then make it a multi-deca fail? Uberfail perhaps?