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Cheezburger Network Blog
Go go faster faster.
I like risks.
Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill!
and a small pot of tea
Tea for two Granny?
Yes, but one lump not two this time, Granny’s a bit on edge
What’s up GCF?
*plops unidentifiable lump in cuppa*
There you go.
Thank you
My neighbor needs a new one….wah? what is this? This isn’t sugar!
Oops, left a teabag in.
tastes like midget!
Smells like midget!
So it’s not midget then is it?
I cant believe its not midget!
Please, no teabagging jokes, I almost cracked a rib laughing when I heard about that.
Loz, I post so rarely that you’ve no reason to trust me, but clickie for more rib-cracking fun. The link is to Rachel Maddow reporting on the teabagging. I was choking on my laughter by the end.
Don’t teabag technicolor, thank you.
How about a Dutch blindfold?
Had to look that one up. Failblog has really increased my smut lexicon. That, and Moomin, of course.
I thought I might as well toss that one in there while we were in the teabag position.
Is Moomin a sex move? Will have to check that one out.
*moomins moomin*
*squeaks*
More baconlube next time.
Failblog is so educational. My mind gets dirtier every day.
*squeezes EVERYbody!*
*squeeze*
Morning!
*squeezes jam fondly*
Thanks, jam. I was beginning to think maybe I was invisible today. Sometimes I forget.
I see you baby!
Shakin’ that ass.
(morning!)
Alright – don’t touch me!
(Morning all!)
It ain’t a touch if you’re pushing back, AE!
‘Twas just once….
Twice…
three times, a lady.
Oh dear!
How about we keep our genitals to ourselves
But me and GCF went shopping and picked you out a lovely mushroom print?
Yes, but if its too tight we MAKE it fit
*vomits*
Next best thing to baconlube
I can’t turn down a gift.
Gimmie it.
Whatsay we make it a mushroom bouquet? Just for effect, you know?
ooooo…
sounds fancy.
Occasion?
Seems like a good idea?
You don’t need an occasion to make an effort.
Party in Technicolor’s pants and we’re all coming!
Only one person will be cuming.
Take a guess.
HA! Thankyou! *THHHHWWWWAAACKK!!!*
That can be the centerpiece of the arrangement!
Okay, now I feel bad, let’s pretend I missed and got the edge of the coffee table *winces*
That’s gonna leave a scar
You only mushroom print blokes?
The emotinal kind?
Honestly you lot!!! …*THWAACKK!*
I hope that’s not loaded!
Not loaded. It’s actually the 10th aniversary this year of my op! Woo hooo *lets-off party poppers!!*
Fire blanks and nobody gets hurt!
*looks down at the moomin*
You look down at yourself?
Someone has to
I look up to you, though, Mooms. *squeeze* Can’t sleep.
Booze and NyQuil fixes all.
You must be so excited right now
I’m questioning my packing decisions. Do I really need two midgets?
Yes
*nods*
One to hold the potato, ’til the other one can find it.
One to keep it safe, and in the backside mind it.
LOL!
You need a spare in case one gets squished!
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE*
Can’t believe it’s today!
I’m worried the bald midget makes me look fat, though.
(Eek! Me neither!)
Well, the bald midget is a looker. I’d have him.
*grabs Mookie and jumps up and down*
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
*grabs ‘em both up and SPINS!*
Morning team
B! Wheeeee! (mind the midget, he gets motion sick)
The motion in the ocean?
*makes rude thrusting movements*
I have the feeling I’m missing something…IMPORTANT!
*puts pieces of puzzle together*
OMG, you’re not getting…???
That calls for a big *SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE*
(Did you notice I put more ‘E’s in than the Moomin?)
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZES Mookie*
*shakes fist at Arthur*
*realizes who’s in the avatar*
*opens hand and starts waving*
*hugs the sailor*
*hoists the mainsail*
*raises a jolly roger*
*snatches the booty*
*watches the footy*
*catches the cooty*
*stands away from DrB*
They scored, you beauty!
*regrets a one nighter*
)
They whored you, cutie!
(Omg, well get em for ya
*pats DrB*
They couldn’t afford me, too fruity.
(*squeeze*)
hey you’ve crushed another midget with your over-zealous squeezing. The have the effect on me too. (morning)
Eeeeek.
*disposes of crushed midget in baby dump*
They’ll never notice the difference.
(morning)
*pretends to be a midget*
*shakes Mookie’s pant leg*
Can I come?
You’re too big to be a carry-on. I’ll have to check you.
*ZZZzziiiiipppPPP!*
)
Thar ya go! (sorry GCF
DANG! Swordfight!
*sheaths his sword*
No, no…just stay there.
Don’t put it away, get it out!
mmmmm…sword porn!
*ravishswenchatswordpoint* Arrrrrgggghh! Quiver me timber!
*pretendstobereallyscared*
Somebody save me from these pirates.
HELP!
*prepares to board DrB’s boat*
Hang on, that sounds so wrong.
*screams in helpless female manner*
Don’t make me walk the plank! I can’t swim.
*climbs up to crows nest*
*sticks dagger in sail and slides down*
HEEYYYYYYYYY YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU GUYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSS!
*grabs rope and swings across to rescue jam and take both out of thread*
Unless I’m mistaken, I think you just did.
Oops! Force of habit! Help me off with this latex glove, wouldja?
Chickpea, when you wear it like that it’s called a female condom!
Or you’ve been drinking too much milk
But I guess I lack Arthur and Czuhc’s timing.
They looked down and hilarity ensued.
Maybe it also works if I look up?
*looks up*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
God!!!! *wipes tear*
That’ll be a yes czuhc.
)
Need to find the secret.
(Morning guys
Guten Morgen!
WOW! The smiley looks up!
Bonjour!
We all look up to you, Moomin.
Told ya!
I look at to the flying spaghetti monster and kim jong il
and I!
*still pretending to be a midget*
It’s the hat! Gives me presence.
*blushes*
Thankyou.
More what’s underneath the hat. You’re smelcome!
Mine’s not doing shit for me!
*looks up at Moomins hat*
One day it will be mine, oh yes one day
To be fair though, you do look kinda scary!
Much like Granny from Bill and Ted!
When they go to hell? My work here is done
I’m not scared of you though. Your toilet humour is hiding an inner horsie.
He also looks like The Hitcher from Mighty Boosh. The three of them form the mirror to the holy trinity.
*slows to a canter*
Care for a ride? I hear there are swordsmen about.
Your inner horsie is an outie?
*leaps on the back absolutely terrified and rides with GCF into the sunset*
*arrives at workdesk*
*sigh*
GCF, you could have dropped him off at a better place. Sheesh!
I think he has a homing pigeon under his hat.
The Moomin or Granny?
I think the compass got stuck. It’s always pointing dull north!
That’s not a compass! His boss pulled a fast one on him, there.
I’ll give him direction next time. hehe
Moomin will follow you anywhere, jam!
No, he just fumbles about blindly; it’s coincidence we end up in the same place!
*looks up at the moomin*
Car looks stationary, no danger here.
Don’t come too near, I hear they are dangerous predators.
Oh, right. Lots of danger here.
Flee!
Only dangerous when Granny’s behind the wheel
*vroooooom!*
Shouldn’t the carr roll over and explode?
*hands Aja gas and lighter*
He doesn’t take direction well. Let’s try this again. Clear the set.
Roll over. . .
Play Dead. . .
Explode. . .
Come back as Christine. . .
Hello and smelcome…
*sniffs*
*tastes*
Yup. Thats come.
Cracker? *proffers*
*wretches*
definitely
I agree. He’s eaten too much cilantro lately.
Where Dr B with his pineapple when you need him
Oh, I had forgotten about that. *adds pineapple to shopping list*
*OOOOOOOoooooohhhhhhhhaaaaaahhhhh*
Right…there you go.
Hey GCF!!! Would you hold this jar of umm…glue for me?
Sure thing! Why does the jar say ‘man glue’ on it?
*hides amoung the pineapples*
Hurry up…you can’t stay in there forever buddy!
Ouch! I mean it!!
But its warm here, could do with some fresh air though.
I feel so emotional.
I’m exhaused! Hold me?
Exsqueeze me?
*squeeze* Thank you. I get so lonely and confused sometimes
Aww… *squeezes Granny*
I’m not kissing you though; I know where those lips have been!
You’re not that grubby, jam!
fair enough, where haven’t they been?
They haven’t been on my inner horsie!
(err gcf, I meant that jam was talking about her own lips! – no offence intended, just in case!)
*sprays* Giddyup then!
*roffles*
DrB, you must stop that!
*squeeze*
doesn’t this just confirm that failblog is the new WinBlog?
obama’s campaign blog being the previous winblog…
WAAAAAIT A SECOND!
Isn’t this picture actually a sign fail?
*reads the signs*
Yup, all there
The more backwards you go, the bigger the risk?
Only at a gay convention
Kinky
*passes whole chicken*
“Passes” like, driving? Or “passes” like, needs an episiotomy?
I was just checking it for size before I ate it!
Never try eating anything bigger than your own head.
Best advice I ever had.
Tell that do my snake.
(sounds kinky)
Urrr…your snake has a skin collar, and a piercing through its throat! Nice pet!! Whatdya feed it?!
Anything bigger than its own head.
And that means Doctors also.
*inspects DrB for quality*
Oh my, you mean that’s an innie snake you have there!?
*gets ready to apologise for the mushroom thread…*
You’re still invited to the party
So…this *points* passes inspection? Errr…I’d get it back, right?
Yes, but get it back?
no promises.
Was Yanking your chain doctor.
It was never an innie snake.
*feels guilt*
*pokes with a stick*
What’s that bit supposed to be? I like the landing strip though
You can live the dream technicolor, make the change.
You know you want to…and we’re here to help with that.
Can your Doctor skills help?
He can make your innie an outie or vice versa
magician
*turns technicolor around* See? Can do this…ahhhh.
*turns technicolor around* And, can do this….grrrrnntt.
(oh and Welcome technicolor! you’re very tolerant!)
Yes, welcome TC! Just don’t yawn; I’ll have to run away.
It’s all give and take around here.
OOH! Sandwiches!
Thank you all, but how can a MAN yawn at a time like this?
I hope the feathers are still on oooooh!
*tries to think of a use for spent feathers*
Waste not, want not.
You can stuff them in my….um….pillow
You’re all going to fast for me, I can’t read all the comments, let alone write one myself
D’oh I meant to reply to you….oh well.
Go go faster faster.
No.. slower, slower!
But I just guzzled 12 cans of coke.
Buzzzzzzz…
Turning into a bee jam?
*quickly invents anti-bee transformation vaccine*
Take this.
Needles to say, I was getting a buzz!
*changes angle*
Better, if a little obtuse!
Wetter, if a little confused?
.
(I think ‘hypotenuse rhythm’ would be a good name for a band.)
Sweater, if a little overused?
(I’m adjacent with you on that!)
Pet’her, if a little disused?
(Hey! Don’t bend my moral compass!)
Feta, if a little too fused?
(I protract my statement.)
Frenchletter, if a little effused?
(My slide-rule can measure that abatement!)
I prefer perpendickular angles.
*pours quadruple-shot flat white into czuhc!*
GO MAN!!!!!
I’ll join you in the failboat, czuhc.
*squeeze*
Yaaaaarrrrr! A failed pirate’s life for me
You can shiver me limber, Granny!
Hehe, you can ride the animal beneath!
Dirty water runs deep
A ship’s cat!
Fiddle me timber heave ho!
Rides the wave…
*waves*
Bye!!
I wasn’t going…
Bye bye!!!
*sniff*
Well, if everyone insists…
*flies off*
Bye, then!
Come back you! *tackles SC*
Saucer of milk for you meow meow
*rubs against Granny*
*Tastes milk*
*Raises eyebrow*
What kind of udder nonsense is this?
Sorry I got it from DrB he said it was glue, but I don’t believe him
Go go faster faster.
You could pass for a power ranger you know
Buena publi
Attack of the killer billboard.
Is the car part of the warning sign? (A sign of what could happen if you drive fast?)
You are
Why da hell do you guys spam under pics OFFTOPIC?
Its amuses me. Ever been fingered by an elephant?
HAHA!
Random comment win?
Hey, can you explain again why people wearing red shirts can be trapped in airplanes?
No, but I can tell you why you shouldn’t wear red jerseys
Got one for you, GCF. Clicky!
Ha ha packed into a pachyderm!
He forgot the first rule of elephany care: don’t stick your head up its ass
Don’t it make your blue eyes brown?
No, but a bit of soap and water can make brown eye pink
O
M
G
!
*falls off chair, lands on feet*
*falls over on side, still laughing*
I like it how the woman pushes the elephant instead of pulling on the guy.
A push-me-pull-you!
That’s some cushion for the pushin’
Well, yeah, when sliding upside down, the doors must remain closed.
1- Speed
2- Flip and slide
3- Safety
4- Profit?
3.5- ???
Granny, you’re disgusting
Yeah, isn’t he great!
Of course he is! We love him for it.
Thanks kitty and jam! *squeeeeeeze*
Sorry, I’m not gay or anything
I forgive you but are you sure? Maybe you haven’t met the right person
Methinks he doth protest too much.
Why is he apologising then? No reach around?
Poor thing – look at those short little arms!
Small arms dealer?
Yes human arms are highly ineffectual when it comes to elephants
I’ve met the right person..
But not the right button.
*points to “Reply to this Comment”*
did they turn gay?
Eww.. That button is ugly, I won’t touch it
Don’t worry I’ll just keep following you
Button? Where?
did no one else notice that this picture was obviously posed.
the car got backed up to the sign….
its not posed actually, this photo was taken by a policeman, I know cuz it happened in my town, and there were photos just like this in our newspaper… nope nope, not posed at all!
What if the driver was so distracted reading the billboard that (s)he drove off the road?
Damn.. I need cash for a Playstation3
The title should be “Billboard Irony Win, Driver Fail.”
Epic WIN if there ever was one. Well done!
RT
http://www.privacy.pro.tc
That’s what she said!
Flawless Victory
The faster you go, the bigger you fail.
but the car ran into it backwards? doesnt make sense ! this was obviously not an accident.
Clearly, this was target practice.
i farted
haha i know the exact sign that hads been hit,, its on a stright bit of road, Classic Meathead
this is really an interesting site.
THATS WHAT SHE SAID
The car was placed there. Advertising agency win.
I drove past this when it happened, just out of Te Anau in New Zealand
yay! I know the cop who was at the scene… oooo 6 degrees of seperation!
How did the BACK of the car hit the bilboard? That’s another fail right there! ?0.o?
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