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Cheezburger Company Blog
FIRST!!
Ooh! Another school kid! Welcome! Are you enjoying your week off? How are your grades? Did you clean your room and take out the trash?
Hey! I feel insulted when I’m grouped with him as a “school kid” myself.
jealousy is ugly isn’t it?
You seem to be an expert of ugly! Congrats!
*hands i’m a Chicago Police coffee mug*
When you’re older you’ll probably appreciate coffee.
If you live that long.
Sounds like an appropriate slogan to me!
..
Price is wrong beotch! $420
..
DB
I agree.
Comedy slogan WIN,
Failblog FAIL.
Is it worse to BE a spammer, or to respond to him?
Hmm. Not sure about that one.
neither one is bad, as long is it results in a counteraction of that spam.
although, i would have to agree that this is a win.
as for FB failing? no such aminal.
This is totally an epic success. It’s only an epic fail for the homicide department’s, er, clients.
stfu
Ya they did it on purpose…as a joke….duh
I for one enjoy the links…fricken hilarous!
I advise you to change your name, junior.
Umm….yeah.
Me too.
Me three!
FORE! *Hits ball, bonks junior in the head*
this is a complete win. just not the win anyone wants to accept…
Jealousy? Puh-lease. Get your facts straight, jailbait.
Sharkbait whowhoha!
dont drop the soap
You know, there are school kids and “school kids”.
Kindly explain the difference, mein Freund.
This one rides the ‘short bus’ to school. You don’t. And you’re not a troll.
Oooh, that “school kid”. I see what you mean. Sorry for the simple misunderstanding.
*hands BF a much more complex misunderstanding*
*understands*
*refuses to tell*
*scratches head*
Er, is the answer 42 potatoes?
NO the answer is 23
*sips his Dr. Pepper*
I think that would make it 10, 2, and 4.
Soft drink references won’t nest below this level.
were the pepsi generation!
(sry had to)
oh sweet Jesus!!!! *puts the ‘ in place*
*hands ‘o’ and ‘r’*
Splendid catch, eagle
*reminds all that Coke™ is the real thing*
*agrees profusely with WN*
I’ll stick with a good ale, thankyouverymuch.
We would expect nothing less from someone named “Brewski”
I’m rather fond of a hearty Stout, myself…
Strongbow, please!
Mmmmmm…!
Ewww, cider = piss
Only the Kentish ones.
:p
Or maybe Entish ones. Wasn’t that stuff called TreeBeer in the movie?
Don’t be insulted, BFF, you’re one of us! We love you!
Aw, shucks.
*squeeze*
*squeezes back*
*lungs get crushed*
TOO HARD! TOO HARD!
*fluffs wolfgang back to original shape*
Better now, dearie?
I’m insulted that you would feel insulted.
*pinch*
Hey, you sexy thing, you!
Hello?
All right! The other sexy one is here! Nothing like a sexy guy sandwich! Mmmm…
You mean I’m not sexy??!
*belches loudly*
*scratches privates*
qed.
Im in 7th grade and I know tons of people from my school that post on failblog every day. We have full conversations during class
His mother isn’t there to police him/her, so luckily you are pointing him/her in the right direction.
troll.
funny, you seem to look like the school kid “i’m”
by the way it’s you’re not you’r
These days they don’t teach proper punctuation until 11th grade, if then.
I blame rappers and texting. Do they still call themselves rappers or am I being, like, soooo 90′s?
I still call them idjuts
You shoulf call some of them talent-wasters. And that’s worse.
*d, not f. Although it looks kinda funny.
*adds punctuation to Arthur’s comment*
YOU!! SHOULF!!! Call some of them talent-wasters!
It’s, like, hipf hopf, like, ya know?
Actually those who have talent tend not to waste it. They just get drowned out by those who don’t know what talent is.
They are called rapers these days.
I am an example that they do.
yeah. This is TOTALLY photoshoped.
Actually, you see that slogan on t-shirts (I have one), hats, and mugs in pretty much any Chicago souvenir store.
I’ve had people ask me if I’m a cop when I’m wearing mine.
I’m calling this a fail fail.
Chicago souvenir win
Do you get free donuts?
Only on t-Shirts.
Agreed. Im from and still live in Chicago, this is simply a novelty design for a souvenir found on many of different things (mostly tshirts.) This is a Failblog Fail for not doing proper research, as its not at all affiliated with the CPD.
Thank you fro bringing this to our attention. Due to the economic downturn, our Fail Blog Research Department has been recently downsized. We now only employ 120 research analysts, down 30% from last year. However, please rest assured that those responsible for this oversight will be severely disciplined.
Best regards,
FAIL Blog Research Dept.
I see that one of the analysts that “shoulf” have been retained was in the spelling failure department. Okay, time to run, now that i’ve given you a proper what fro.
*capitalizes “i”*
On a somewhat related note (and someone probably already posted this but I’m too lazy to read through all of the comments), the Denver police got in a bit of trouble for printing shirts to commemorate the Democratic National Convention. The shirts said something along the lines of “We get up early to BEAT the crowds” and had a picture of a police with a baton. Some people took offense.
Also, I don’t know if anyone caught this — but it’s actually a John Munch quote from the show “Homicide: Life on the Street.”
Go and get some type A Kodachrome.
Good idea Quilty
they give us those nice bright colors.
They give us the greens of summers.
Makes you think all the world’s a sunny day, Oh yeah. . .
Yes, he may be naive now but he will learn. I mean i was a lot like this person but hey i am not as annoying now.
am i?
Not at all! You didn’t claim first, photoshopped, fake, or any of the other usual lines played by the trolls. Welcome to the fun side! Now you can pick on the trolls, too!
Yes! thanks!
Congratulations!!
*Applauds and gives davea an official failMENSA badge*
Welcome aboard.
Sweet!
I hope my FAILQ is high enough.
*laughs at own corny joke*
(no need to laugh with)
Now, the first step to becoming a full member is having your own avatar.
Go to gravatar.com
Have fun!
If the FBI tells you to – better do it!
Argh! Thanks for reminding me, Arthur.
*hands Arthur an official Name Police badge*
Well, we (stateside) often elect actors as presidents and governors and representatives.
Actually, I guess that makes sense…
*feels depressed, grabs a beer*
*takes some of Nellie’s tequila and joins Brewski*
Cheers!
*toasts Malicite*
*takes the rest of Nellie’s tequila and joins Malicite and Brewski*
To our health!
Check out my new gravatar!
i don’t know if it worked but i think my user name has changed…
*sigh* i guess i am daveaman21?
dangit i dont know how to get my avatar i am a lame
sorry everyone
but i would like to be still addressed as davea if you all do not mind?
Pssst.
You can type your name on FB as whatever you want. Doesn’t have to match gravatar account. Just the email does.
Don’t believe him! It’s a trap!
What he said!!
ok i won’t!
WTF
Kindly explain that again?
Log out of FB.
Close the web browser.
Open the web browser.
Go to FB.
Type name and email where directed.
Type message.
Click Add comment.
Okay. Done.
(hey there)
velvet forgot: season to taste; temper to a soft consistency to achieve the full flavor bouquet.
Hey there DrB! And WN!
Hey there DrB! And WN!
Hey there velvet & velvet!
My first double post! What a special day!
B.T.Dubbs, your avatar is working. Are they flowers? I can’t really make it out.
Most likely the pollen from the flowers is interfering with your vision.
a-l-e.mybrute . com/cellule
Can you beat me?
This isn’t fail at all, this is pure awesome.
yeah i’ve seen those around, always questioned wtf they were thinking
i think this is a win
I like it! HA!
Me, too! I want one! Maybe Avis can hook us up with one!
Aw man, I got the suicide cup instead!
Pfft…don’t complain…I got Public Nudity…
that’s not bad. I got Public Urination.
No way!
I got the Lewd and Lascivious Behavio(u)r one.
I’ve given it a place of honor on my kitchen table
I got one that said I’ve been prostituted for trespassing.
I got a rock.
I got a fedora.
I got a nice quilt.
I got a beer. Eat your hearts out.
I got laid.
I ordered 2: Maltreatment level 2 and illegal weapon possession
Both say.. Maybe you should just admit, all.
wow…
lol i like this one
wouldn’t mind this one if i had to pee really bad and i couldn’t hold it.
I’d buy one. Or even bid on one.
New chapeau, Sparky? Nice!
Thanks!
Go to any Chicago souvenir shop. They’re sure to have ‘em. I think someone said that already though.
Fail? WIN i say!!!
Yes.
true, slogan WIN
I agree: Win!
*eyes Nicolle’s avatar*
*suspects that Nicolle may be a win*
I didn’t realize you liked wood, WN.
He’s looking for someone to catch his drift.
Do you think he will strike a cord with someone?
I dunno…is he branching out in that direction?
I think he just might cotton to it.
Bloody ominous coffee mug…
Don’t…drink…the coffee…AACK!
(collapses dead, clutching black Chicago Police mug in hand)
*drags TheGreatWhiteDope’s body into Room 101, and rubs his/her name off National Population list*
There’s a National Population List?
*looks around nervously*
Of course, how do you think we keep the nation in law and order?
*removes the J fro Judy’s name in the National Population List*
Phew! Thanks, Mal!
Well, I do know that federal employees have been video taping license plates at the Tea Parties (of which there will be thousands today).
It used to be called “right of assembly” and “free speech”; now it’s called “dangerous right-wing behavio(u)r”.
It’s dangerous to drink tea?!
I’ll take the risk.
You extremist you!
…to boldly drink what no women drank before…
Well, urm, it’s… very hot tea. And poison too.
So there.
*sips tea and dies*
*goes to Tea Party meeting and is arrested & handcuffed*
I drink No Tea, theng-kew-veddy-much.
You have naught tea tendencies Dragon.
It’s been oolong time since I’ve had tea.
I actually really dislike tea (ick! boiled weeds!), but you pekoe my curiosity now…
One should always drink tea in the ceylon.
Here’s hoping the whole thing comes to nothing. Right to assembly would be nice to keep, but unless they actually arrest people who aren’t doing anything illegal I don’t mind keeping tabs on large assemblies. People get scary when they think their face won’t get picked out of the crowd. I know, I live in a college town and the yearly celebration VEISHA ends in riots more often than not.
One down…6 billion to go.
I’m okay…it was just Dunkin’ Donuts brand coffee – harsh stuff….
better slogans? “Don’t go to a crime scene right after lunch.” That sucks.. oh well.
that is not funny
^PC Facist win.
*drops from skylight on bungie cord*
*blasts LUluLUluLULLUUU with the “pain ray” (imagine sticking your hand in a microwave when its on times about 1000)*
*zips back through skylight
Who won the bloody war then.
Whoever lost the least blood I suppose.
Oh how grim!
–
I would say audience FAIL too!!!
Well, go ahead if you must.
*stands back*
What am I doing Nellie?
I believe you were going to say “audience fail”, as I recall.
The audience the slogan is referring to. They are dead therefore cannot benefit from it. That’s what I was thinking but then, what do I know.
But some homicide victims do talk to the police.
Of course. But rarely.
*tases that homicide victim again*
Nope. No luck with this one.
What is Homocide?
YOU of all people should know the answer.
Rude.
Crude.
Dude!
Sweet!
What does my tattoo say?
And then?
DUDE!!!
Tatooed.
Food
*burp*
root
joot
gooed
illuded
Hmm.
It’s a type of fiction.
*morning squeeze*
*squeeze* Morning Mr. Cuddles!
How are you doing today Malicite?
Meh, I was quite late to work today due to some expressway traffic! However, the weather has been so murky the past few days, it has been hard to get into a decent mood! How about yourself? All well on the Cuddle-Front?
Hmm nesting fail…
The birdie came back to the nest.
*squeeze!*
I have wished a bird would fly away,
And not sing by my house all day;
Have clapped my hands at him from the door
When it seemed as if I could bear no more.
The fault must partly have been in me.
The bird was not to blame for his key.
And of course there must be something wrong
In wanting to silence any song.
~Frost
Just got back from the gym. Everything has been pretty good on the Cuddle-Front. Looking forward for the weekend, but not in as big a rush for it to get here like last week.
*squeeze!*
Thank god mr. cuddles isn’t reading this.
So what is it? I really have no idea since I’m not english.
HOMICIDE is when someone kills another person.
But LEILA, he asked what HOMOCIDE is, not HOMICIDE.
I was trying to give him/it/her the benefit of the doubt.
:: feels dejected ::
*squeeze* It’s ok LEILA. The correct definition of HOMOCIDE is when I kill a troll
But that’s not illegal.
It’s not mr cuddles. In fact, it’s encouraged.
–
Let’s go troll hunting!!!!!
–
Wait…what does troll mean anyway? I see it referenced a lot here. Yes! I am sorta new. Don’t hurt me. :: hides under desk ::
A troll is anyone who is here to spoil our fun, whether by making fun of us, yelling frist, last, or whatever, *masturbating*, etc.
Also, they typically don’t have avatars, although a couple of clever ones somehow managed to find some. It’s CAN be a good indication: they’re either a) new, or b) trolls.
Once they say something it becomes apparent fairly quickly which they are.
Comments will not nest under this level. They’ve matured and need to FLY!!!!!!
REDRUM.
Heeeeeere’s Jonny!
Unfortunately, I am reading it… lol
You do that EVERY time! What is the secret of your timing? Pray tell us!
*afternoon squeeze*
I’m psychic, or is it psycho? I always get those two confused.
*squeeze* I must admit, I like your myspace picture czuhc.
How are you doing today?
Oh my! Fine, thank you.
Hehe, I seem to have that effect on some men. There was a guy at university who thought I had the cutest *ss on campus.
I still wear that title with pride.
Bet it’s made by Kobayashi.
*perks up*
Excuse me?
*gives treat*
*ruffles hair*
What’s happening?
*sneaks into thread, squeezes the Moomin and BFF, then sneaks back out without anyone noticing*
*dives and drags mr. cuddles back in by his ankles*
*Squeezes*
*walks away from thread with pretend limp*
Are you hurt Moomin?
Let me massage your ankle for you 
*boiling jealousy*
*whispers*
Meet me round the back.
*grabs massage oil*
*tiptoes around back with video camera*
*tunes in to yet another episode of “How the Failblog Turns”…*
*climbs out of TV*
*squeezes*
*falls through puddle to escape*
code blue in movie trivia!
someone hand me a DVD, STAT!
You’re Verbal today
He is the Kaiser!
*squeezes Daisy and Arthur*
Would like to join in the squeezing, but I Kint.
It’s always the usual with you!
*squeezes all*
Nice avatar, Daisy..beautiful
i don’t speak english
I don’t read it.
I don’t type it.
I don’t channel it.
I don’t…thingy it.
What is this ‘english’ he speaks of?
And where did he get it?
Hey udy, you appear to be disappearing
What do you mean, WN?
Good Lord, whatever it is, it’s contagious.
OH NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Must be the lemming effect. Maybe pleaseSHOOTme was right!
It’s called poice.
Your name, however, just keeps getting longer…hmmmmmm.
I’m sorry, after you ma’m.
Yes it does, DragonWriter. Every time someone pops in and calls us all a name in a futile attempt at insulting us, I add it to my name. I’m not sure why I do this, but I like it.
If I had done that my name would take up an entire thread. I like to just toy with the trolls. Most of the time.
You are all toad lickers!
*snork*
Top shelf on the right.
Oh yeah, next to that…other cup…
.
Morgue cup: You drop ‘em, we chop ‘em
I’m from Chicago– this is their real slogan. The Narcotics division slogan is even better: “You huff, and you puff, and we’ll blow your door down.”
What’s the slogan for Vice ??
Get a grip?
.
Sorry, that was terrible, I’ll go back to work now…
Hahahahaha. Like it.
.
Clamping down on crime?
Actually, I laughed!
ya… i totally think this is a win… not a fail… >.<
HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS TOTALLY A WIN NOT A FAIL I AGREE!!!!! ITS FUNNY BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE REFERED TO ON THE CUP ARE DEAD. GET IT, DOES ANYBODY GET IT. ITS HILLARIOUS!!
*removes an “L” from “HILLARIOUS”, adds “R” to “REFERED”*
No additional charge.
Couldn’t make the charge stick?
I’ll bet if we got homicide involved…
SLAP!
Wake up, sofaking! You’re having that troll dream again!
What! Oh thank you. It was horrible, there were trolls everywhere. And you were there, and you were there. And you too Aunty Em. Oh Im so glad to be home.
*eyes sofaking’s strangely sparkling red shoes*
*Squeeze*
Now that’s funny!!
126th!
*pepper sprays*
Stand back…
[grannycatflap] sex wee [/grannycatflap]
I feel dirty!
Reminds me of the Cook County Hospital trauma center’s slogan some 15 years ago: “Did you get the bullet out?”
Nice to meet another h*r fan.
LMAO
How about a nice warm cup of shut the f&*k up, pig.
is funny at the same time is not funny.
Police brutality Win!
Win?
I think this is closer to a win than a fail myself, I want one so badly.
Eat chalk.
Chalk a pool stick.
DIE!
AH
MUAHAHA
good one probe, did you grow some pubes?
*laughs*
Stop making fail out of every thing. This one is a win
I agree. Maybe the person that posted this ODed on their sensitivity vitamins again.
PSSSST – Sussianne – you know where I can get some of those?
Those would make you a whole different person WN…
rofl
If want to go to WIN Blog, that’s fine. Here, everything is a fail.
Even if it’s not.
*imagines stupid WINblog vids*
WINblog … DOT ORG
*rants*
For every win there is not a fail!
How is the truth a fail? And yes I have this cup only from Reno
This was a total WIN. Awesome slogan.
“Andre! Andre! i got the secret documents!!!”
*runs out*
Oh dear.
OH NO! I am seeing double.
I wonder what the vice squad’s motto is?
Vice Cops – The World’s Second Oldest Profession
*giggle*
you know.. this is actually more of a win then a fail.
slogan fail? that is slogan win!
CPD Narcotics is “You huff and puff and we’ll kick your door down”
also win
This is more like WIN!
This is not fail…this is WIN!
It is most definitely a win! The shirts too. ;]
This should be Slogan Win.
Dude, this should be slogan WIN..
The last four people could not have been all wrong.
It’s a WIN.
I guess they didn’t bother to read all the other comments that said the EXACT same thing before posting.
Ya, this is Slogan Win for sure. Surprised FB dropped the ball on this one…
That is not a fail….that is a win!!! I love it!
FIRST!!
I’d say slogan WIN!
I like this slogan
That’s a WIN!
Bomb Squad’s Motto: “If you see us running, you had best catch up!”
oughta be “Our day starts when your LIFE ends” ;P
I’m not cool enough for an avatar…
Check out gravatar.com. Then you’ll be cool!
No no, this is definitely a win. i have a tshirt with this on it, and it is awesome.
it’s not funny when it’s a novelty item …
this isn’t fail, this is win =D
This is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve seen on a coffee cup since, “Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.” I really wish I had bought that one.
that’s not a fail it’s an epic win !
How is this a fail? It just sounds like a very accurate description.
This is a “fail” fail. That mug is witty
~
lol, good coffee cup
This just makes me wanna google shop for this cup and show it off to the gals at work FTW!
I want that cup!
Yeah… Tourists can buy t-shirts with this slogan in Chicago’s The Alley store http://www.thealley.com/servlet/StoreFront or on the web at http://www.chicagocopshop.com/glasses.html. Nothing special….
Sense of humor win, actually.
I’m sorry, but I have to disagree with this. This is a slogan WIN.
win win win win WIN
of all slogan wins
this slogan is actually a WIN!
Sooooo… their day starts at midnight?
i’d call that a win.
I don’t see the fail here… But then again it’s failblog…
i vote this be moved to a win. all in favor say I.
I!
that is more of a slogan win don’t you think?
More like BEST SLOGAN EVER and THE BEST CITY IN THE WORLD.
This is totes a win.
Not a Fail.
I just put it on my msn display pic…..and yes I think its a friggin good slogan.
this isn’t a fail.. it’s a win!
Thats a WIN.
Cool mug
Should be Grammar Fail.
It is NOT exclusive to Chicago; I have a T-shirt from many years ago, some slogan… from Detroit “PD.” At the time, Detroit was famously “murder capital of the world.”
It’s a gag souvenir, nothing more.
last!
Laster!
Am I the only one that realises that this is clearly a novelty cup? Therefore intentionally humorous, and therefore not a fail … or really a win?
WIN
…also, apparently no one watches old-school cop drama – it’s also a John Munch quote from Homicide: Life on the Street.
Failblog fail. Next they’ll be posting snorg tee’s …
Thank you! It was bugging me that no one seemed aware of that
I farted.
fail?……..more like an epic win!
I want that mug !!!
Mug win !!
Try WIN?
That’s a win, like the septic tank truck with the painted slogan “your waste is our bread and butter”
GAME OVER: WHEN YOU SAY GOODBYE WE SAY HELLO.
1′d for actually being a win
This slogan is on a t-shirt as well.. It’s not a fail, just ironic, witty slogan merchandising.
You kiddin’ me? Total dark humor win.
looks more like a “Win” to me…
This is a total W I N !
This is NOT photoshopped.
This is a real mug sold at a store called The Alley on Clark St. They have tons of spoof stuff like this.
Slogan epic win IMNSHO. Mwahahaha!! >;D
win!
This is actually a quote from Homicide: Life on the street. Richard Belzer’s character, Munch, said it.
I do believe that is counted as a win.
i’m gonna have to call this one a WIN !!
I love the Fail blog
omg hahahahahahahaha lol
OUR DAY BEGINS, WHEN YOUR DAY ENDS!
TOTAL WIN. My aunt is in the Chicago PD in the homicide and crime scene investigation units. I have a shirt she gave me with this same slogan on it.
At least 98% of all people are stupider than us, we’re MENSA.
I’m proud to say I have that mug! ^_^ My parents brought it home when they were visiting Chicago for mom’s business meeting, and thought I’d like it lol
I saw the same slogan over the homicide detectives’ desks at the “Wilcox Hotel” (LAPD Hollywood division) when I was giving a statement about the attempted murder I witnessed. It was a tastefully done wood-burned sign, with a chalk outline graphic to add a sense of immediacy. I thought at the time, “What a bunch of callous pricks,” becasue they undoubtably took testimony from the relatives of victims at that location. Since then, I have grown up and realized that Cop-humour is funny too. Still, If I were a Chicago homicide detective, I would hide that coffe cup (and pinback button, and t-shirt and personalized briefs, etc) when I was informing some mother of the untimely death of her 14 year old daughter.
Well we will all end eventually.
Someone asked for a motto for the Vice Squad..”You screw’em for cash we’ll arrest your ass”
This is a win moron!
Hey, I have that on a t-shirt, except mine has a a chalk outline of a body below the star.
Great slogan, this is definitely a win!!!
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