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Cheezburger Company Blog
Hey, at least McDonald’s is being honest!
A loser defined ( really a win )
“I would not work for any company who would hire me”
Would you specify that in your resume or on the cover letter?
resume?
I had not yet started, how can I resume?
Resume. Or Curriculum Vitae.
Troll.
isnt everyone here, a troll, by defintion?
everyone only posts onliners designed to feed more oneliners?
I don’t know what your definition of troll is, but I think you may need to review it.
well, tell us your def of troll, grumpy,
dang, why so serious?, this is for fun, wtf?
Serious and grumpy commenter calling BFF serious and grumpy. I like that!
Should I go ahead and implode the universe again?
It’s about that time in the morning. I say go for it!
Just this once though.
JAM!!! GODDAMMIT JAAAAAAM!
Hehe..
JINX!
Too late.
*universe implodes, explodes, is incinerated in a fiery ball, plays Tchaikovksy’s 1812 Overture and juggles a piano, a Ming vase and Joe Biden*
I wish the universe would play Beethoven just once!
Why do I suddenly feel like I’m reading the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?
while were at the end of the universe anyone feel like
haileys?
No, but I could take a shot of Baileys.
*sigh*
Okay, but just one more time and then it’s time to go to bed, young man.
Is imploding the universe similar to collapsing the horse? But on a grander scale? Using ‘implements’.
*ring ring*
Hi, Kettle? This is Pot…
This is not really a hiring fail…look a bit closer, obviously some jokester moved the “c” away from “closer” to make it “loser.” They are looking to hire closers not losers.
Coffee is for closers only
You are ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!…however, I saw it and took a picture of it! What ever the reason? It’s funny as hell!
good ol’ PA….
AR spoilsport!!! You took all the fun out of it! Geez!
looks like they already hired a loser
lol
LMAO!
“CLOSERS”, morons.
New Cumberland PA
Very specific.
But true I suppose.
This is why you don’t ask the person you just fired to go put the letters up searching for his replacement.
yes but who do I send? Hell I’m not doing it.
You could always get Grimace to do it.. well, he’s autistic, he was probably the one to do it in the first place
Do you have to lose at anyhting in particular?
I would think not
Well. I just lost at spelling. I’m gonna get me application in.
I just lost I recognizing it. I fail too. Awesome.
We’ve got all three positions covered now
Hey what about me?
Hmmm, applying after the positions have been taken. . .
Does that make you more of a loser and then more qualified for the job?
But then one of us would have to be fired, making us a bigger loser.
I name today Paradox day!
*tootles melodiously on kazoo*
Great! I’ll start imploding multiple universes!
One day you’ll end up in jail for all that universe imploding.
There’s no universe to contain the jail though.
Morning
True. He’s safe.
Morning! How are you Mr. Moomin?
Although dead from the universe imploding?
This must be some strange usage of the word safe I’m unaware of.
Ok apart from having a dull day of work ahead. How is yourself?
Fine, thankyou. Still beautiful weather here, that always makes me smile.
BTW – the Grand Canyon, of course. And your urge is scary…
Excellent, good to hear. Did you get any free-time over the weekend to enjoy it?
Very changeable here.
Oooh, you lucky bugger. I always get it, it’ll be the death of me one day.
And on that note, am going to plunge into my work.
*waves*
Not enough free time, but since there’s no such thing as enough free time on a sunny day I won’t complain.
Be careful! Or learn to fly. You know, the art of falling down but missing the ground. I am afraid of heights, always getting scared when I’m in a higher place than the 3rd floor. Except on the Grand Canyon, which is a little higher than the 3rd floor. Strange, isn’t it?
See you later!
I did a bungee once, does that count?
Count for what?
As brave? I don’t think I’d be able to stand where you did without crying a bit!
That’s not brave, that’s crazy imo. But ok.
*takes a note ‘Jam: Brave 1′*
.
I would have thought before that I would be wetting my pants having to stand there. But I simply wasn’t afraid at all. Dunno why. A couple of days before I was on the stratosphere tower in Las Vegas and almost cried…
I’m ok anywhere as long as I know I’ve a harness or a railing of some description. Cliff edges scare me. I have to lie on my stomach to see over Beachy Head.
Well done you for the Bungee jump!
It was a long time ago.
Where did you do it?
Blyth. I was 14. Jumped right off a 180 foot (or so) crane I did!
WOW! I am impressed!
shucks…
*blushes*
But as Arthur said, it’s more stupid than impressive! HAHA
Pffft I say to that!
*squeeze*
I said crazy, not stupid! And I’m also impressed. I would never do that.
I’m a northerner! I’d already paid for it.
HAHAHA!
At spelling?
Good morning all!
Good Morning!
Just had the exact same thought
AH, i have always wanted to chat with this crowd. good morning to all
I’m afraid we have a tendancy to ignore genitalia that can speak. They disgust us.
no no, i’m reformed. i have been house trained and also have a degree in lit. and history
Well, seeing as my fellow failbloggers are talking to you, I gues I should as well.
Hi.
*sigh*
guess
Bukkit, please.
yay! i’m in the group!
woahhhhh. Hold it mister.
Initiation ritual.
whats this ritual?
I don’t know. But damn it we need one.
Suggestions?
I believe that you are supposed to ask how to get a spanking new personalised avatar.
Correct.
For an avatar, go to gravatar.com
how do you do that exactly?
Dear God! Don’t put up a picture of a talking penis… please!
Pixels matter.
A gif maybe?
that would be too unoriginal
No! Jam, please don’t give him ideas! His name is as bad as it is!
So a picture of a non-talking penis would be fair dinkum?
HA! Caught you in my logic trap! There’s no such thing as a penis that doesn’t talk.
this is my first attempt at an avatar, it may suck a little
Did you do something different with your triangles?
strange
Give it a few minutes.
The magic words are “clear your cache”.
now is it working?
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! am i forever stuck a symetrical freak!
It will work. Have faith.
i’m an atheist
Faith in technology then!
That’s what you get for that! No avatar for you.
but i likey avitar
WHERE IS MY AVATAR
Ah Penis History. I minored.
ello penis
ello technicolor
Wow, a talking sausage!
yes yes a talking penis. how are you guys?
Not looking forward to a day of work. How’s yourself?
i haven’t had decent sleep in ages. i had to stay up working on a history report
Writing a paper too. On why rap is art.
no, the bullmoose party
You have my sympathies, I hate reports.
thank you *squeeze*
YUCK!
GCF would have something to say about that…
*squirts*
*squelches*
*squabbles*
*squeezes*
Morning all!
*squeals*
Morning!
*screams*
Aarrghh!
*scrams*
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
*crams*
durch für gegen ohne um entlang bis
um…just out of curiosity…can you say that in english…
weil ich es nämlich überhaupt nicht verstanden hab
Spelling?
(Hi The Moomin)
*sigh*
(Good Morning)
I’m losing at reply speed…if that helps.
Cool, it’s you, me and technicolor going for the job then
Might as well. It’s an easy mim wage or hier.
at being an intergrated member of human society?
You have an extra ‘r’ there, son. Have you been watching NASCAR again?
Finally, a job I’m qualified for.
They hire losers, but when you get the job that’s more of a win, so they fire you. It’s a bit like Jesse James giving money to the poor.
Hahaha.
You reckon McDonald’s are trying to end the universe by creating a paradox?
They feed everybody who do not feed themselves.
Teach a man to fish…etc. etc. etc.
Give a loser a job and he eats free french fries as long as he works there.
*thinks*
I like french fries…are there any applications left?
Not for you. The sign says ‘losers’.
Right now, I’d be willing to assume that role for some damn french fries. I’m starving.
I’ll sneak you some out.
*munches happily*
Mmmm…salty!
Wait…this is going to take a drastic turn for the worse, isn’t it?
But…that’s cannibalism!
.
.
.
Can I watch?
Surely that would make you a cannibal?
Besides, you’re a potato.
You’re right!
RUN! K-k-k-katy is a cannibal!
I’m not a cannibal! Those fries were purchased at a store where no potatoes were hurt!
Yes, but you are eating your own vegetable species! How could you?!
Eating fries would therefore be considered cannibalism.
Ok, I think we all agree on this one…
Agree on what? You’re the only person to point this out
Am I too late to say something about cannibalism?
I think we all were.
I am brilliant.
Well, I know I can’t look directly at you…
VAMPIRE!
ZOMBIE!
MEDUSA!
WEREWOLF!
PAEDOPHILE!
SIREN!
TALKING PENIS!
You’re on the wrong path, RitzYO.
.
GOLEM!
BASILISK!
GARGOYLE!
CHIMERA!
CHUPACABRA!
SELKIE!
CHENEY!
czuhc, did you want me?
What? Does this mean that everyone we summoned will show up ?
I hope not. I mentioned the P word earlier.
*runs and hides*
Cheney is already here. He’s everywhere. So don’t blame me!
Quick! Everyone blame Arthur!
*blames Arthur*
I AM HERE
*gasp*
Cannibalism!
Cannibis gives you muchies thus cannibles, does that come is a can?
Cannibis gave YOU too muchies thus cannibles, that’s for sure!
*inhales cannabis*
*watches as Arthur inhales cannabis plant*
Arthur, you wanna inhale the cannabis SMOKE next time.
*coughs*
Damn, that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years!
*inhale inhale pass*
*stares*
You look delicious!
Careful, you don’t want to make any accidenty tater tots, do you?
Actually, I think it is a neat trick.
*inhales cannabis plant*
*dramatic look*
*exhales bouquet of beautiful flowers*
Thanks, I get that a lot.
Wow czuhc, that was impressive!
*inhales cannabis plant*
*does fire swallowing act*
*sits very still with spinning eyeballs and serene smile on face*
at least those 3 people have a job
sucks man, sucks
Mcdonalds won when they brought back the mcribs.
If I worked for McDonalds, this is what I would do:
1. Create McRobes
2. nobody would eat it
3. safety
4. getting fired
5. being a looser
6. PROFIT!
You left out the ‘…’ bit.
You’re right! How can there be profit without the Mystery Step?
It is my favorite dance.
Mine too. When I’m at a party, I always go to the toilets to dance it. It has to remain a mystery.
That’s something like a phenomenon!
Freeze!
Why are there third world countries and third person perspectives yet no seconds for either?
Because we’re not part of the story?
Old World, New World, Third World.
(By that convention, you could argue I live in the Fourth World…)
As failblog’s official second person, it is my pleasure to inform the
populace of my role in narrative. *bows*
As most are aware, first person is characterized by the use of “I.”
For example “I can have a cheeseburger?” “I have a bucket,” etc.
Third person is typified by such phrases as “HIS power level is over
nine thousand!” “SHE accidentally ate a whole tater tot,” and “THEY
can’t see me now.”
Finally, second person, while not uncommon, is not often
recognized. It is characterized by the pronoun “you.” Examples
include “never gonna give YOU up,” “never gonna let YOU down,”
“never gonna run around and desert YOU.”
This concludes our lesson on narrative modes. Remember kids, it’s
all in the pronouns!
i fail to see your logic
Then you are still not ready for FailMENSA.
darn
Heh, you can see the C on the bottom row was slid to the end of the row by some rowdy teenager!!! HIlarious!!! Utter pandemonium must have ensued!!!
teenagers win once again.
HEY!!!
This is the first time ,no one said first…A FIRST
That’s because no-one wanted to be an annoying little sod.
I’d like to be an annoying little sod someday, but I think I may have to work on it some.
I think you may have to stop.
Please, do not become a troll.
Ah, you see? It’s a fine line I must walk between being an attention whore and a troll. It’s not easy. I have to maintain a very delicate balance or I become the latter, which I don’t want to do. It’s especially difficult before I’ve had about 3 or 4 cups of coffee too.
But, such is the life of *slow building timpani roll* *cymbal crash* Sparky: Attention Whore/Wonder Dog!
FIRST!!!!!1!
U DIE IM PRO!
Don’t summon it, please!
Sorry, I got a bit carried away.
“Guards, carry her away!”
bring her to my dungeon! muwahaha
OMG LOLOLOLOL PHOTOSHOPPED!!!1
Wait, I thought I was FRIST OMG LOLZ PHOTOSHOPPED!!!111!1!!1
There, see? A simple name change, and I become whatever I want.
Naw, I don’t like the look of it. At all. Back to being me.
They hire Closers ? Man, the day McDo closes i’ll be happy !
Where will I get my hourly supply of artery clogging goodness.
This has been bugging me for a while, but why is it that the Failblog comments per minute rate grinds to a halt every few minutes?
They don’t call it FAILblog for nada.
oops
I’m losing it!
Your mind?
Your religion?
Your virginity?
I wanna help you find it.
I found it.
Hey, give it back! That’s mine.
Too late! I have it now!!
*shakes fist*
Why you little…
Pppppptttthh!! Go ahead, shake your fist; I like the attention!
I’ll get the Sandman to come and shake his fist at you, just like he did to Spidey. Hehe
You WOULDN’T!! (Would you?)
Give it back to me and I’ll call the whole thing off!
Wellllllllll, ooooooooo kayyyyyyyyy. *reluctantly gives it back to jam* *goes off to a corner to sulk* *sulk* *sulk* *sulk* *sulk* *sulk* *sulk*
*makes a quick phone call to Sandman*
“You’re on your way? So soon?”
*Sandman says something*
“Turn around then, go back already”
*Sandman says something*
“Seriously? But but but…”
SPARKY! Run like the hounds of hell!
Woof woof!!
*Runs as fast as his 4 legs will carry him*
*Stops at a few trees along the way*
*Continues running*
*slow building timpani roll* *cymbal crash*
Hmmmmmm?
Thats very odd!
A dog shaped sandy mess!
[and it looks slightly familiar]
Well, BOGGY has always wanted a doggie.
Perhaps we can attempt to
{TA DAA} REANIMATE {TA DAA} it.
I recognize that avatar Bob G!
That looks like it was taken from a moving car. Impressive.
Or the car was standing still and the street was moving. It’s hard to tell sometimes.
disgruntled employee win.
wow gas is down to $1.99….
not where I am
Americans! Last year gas prices here were up to 1,60 Euro – per liter.
Ouch, tough break kid.
Help me out, please.
Could someone please explain why this is regarded as a fail?
To confuse you.
Too Much Honesty fail?
Nah more like an honesty win
True.
Oh my. Well at least they are to the point about it, though, it is sad that even some with degrees must resort to fast food work nowadays. Oh the decline in the value of proper education. . .
Hey, I say this is a WIN on behalf of the employee who did the sign… love the C sitting way over to the left. clever clever kid! :-9)
This pic is definitely a WIN
Wow, thats pretty sad dude!
RT
http://www.anon-tools.at.tc
FYI I know this McDonalds, in New Cumberland, PA
just thought they deserved credit for their Sign Win/Career Fail
Q, you are absolutely correct! You get a “WIN”.
Aaah blast! You noticed it before me. I thought I was just uber aware of my surroundings in noticing where that was from. No need to start that career as an investigator now.
haha too funny
that’s definitely a win
Is this the Tom’s/McD’s in New Cumberland, PA? It sure looks like it.
Correct again! You also get a “WIN”!
haha should be closers?
B RILLIANT
I saw a similar sign on Taco Bell “Now hiring all shi ts”. The space is where the F was supposed to go but it fell off.
Yes.. “fell” off
I’d say that pretty much sums it up.
David B – congrats on making the fail blog then. Can’t believe I missed that one. We drive past there daily as it is around the corner from the house.
Then it’s a PRANKSTER WIN! if it wasn’t faked simply to get on here.
omg gas is 1.99!
Is that the McD’s by Andrew’s AFB??
I believe it is…
Tis is no hiring fail, it’s a culture fail
Heh. I’d call it a WIN on the part of whoever managed to put the sign up without management sending ‘em out to correct it immediately.
isn’t this supposed to be a win? D:
Not fail. This is a win! The “C” is over to the right
HONESTY WIN!
Win, not fail
That’s code for managers.
Truth in advertising
clearly there is a c to the left…morons
people, that is a win!
Lol. I totally worked at that gas station this summer.
it’s true!
the sad part? people are actually THAT desperate.
This is the truth.
Holy crap! Look at the gas prices!!
mcdonalds fails every day, why should this sign be any different?
Is it sad I expect that from mcdonalds or is it worse I thought it was a price win for gas