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Great.
I wish the picture was big enough so that we could read the story. I’d really like to hear their analysis of the situation.
The first paragraph says that they rarely have a chance to speak to police before dying.
The headline is dumb, but the article is sensible.
I still want to know how they can classify them as a homicide victim before they die.
Sounds like death discrimination to me.
Deathscrimination?
Why did I not see this comment ’til just now? I swear it wasn’t showing up earlier and it wasn’t in the recent comments box either!
Grrrrrrrr! I missed a smooch!
*pouts*
What?
Twat?
Total War Against piracy Theft?
Swat?
Don’t worry, it’s just a little dead reckoning.
Where’s the Ghost Whisperer or Medium when you need them?
Why are they called “mediums” when they are so rare?
Haven’t you heard about the short physic who escaped from prison?
They were saying “Small medium at large”!
*family guy ep…*
oh! oh! you so funneeeyyyy! you make joke using play of words!
A well-done medium is very rare.
Television is a medium because it’s neither rare nor well done.
I have a shirt that is a medium but it too is not put together all too well.
You don’t get it do you…
I thought that the emperor had no clothes?
I fully got it samantha, I was playing on the drole humo(u)r.
*offers to trade a psychic for Sonnee’s physic*
Did you hear about the guy who’s left side got cut off in a
bologna factory accident? He’s all right now.
haw haw haw!
Paw paw yum (papaya?). Smells like ralph, sure.
yes definitely
Easy. They’re about to die.
In the same way that for those about to rock are rockers, those about to die from massive A+B injuries are homocide victims.
Those that we now know to be homicide victims, in their pre-victim state, have no inclination that their current state is going to change, and thus, do not talk to the agencies and authourities , that they would presumably require once they attain their post-homicide status.
“Usually you have a scenario when a victim dies shortly after a homicide.”
This is sensible?
Looks like the editor was having a bit of fun. No Fail here.
Linked!
It’s a link to the full article.
By MICHAEL BUCK
The Express-Times
When police detectives investigate homicides, they usually have to stitch together what happened from a variety of sources and witnesses.
Rarely do they have a written statement from the victim about the chain of events that led to their demise.
That’s exactly the scenario that prosecutors and investigators have in Tacarra Ward’s case.
Ward was shot in the face in October and succumbed Dec. 31 to her wounds. Her death came after she gave police a detailed written account of what happened.
“It is very rare,” said Northampton County First Deputy District Attorney Terry Houck. “Usually you have a scenario when a victim dies shortly after a homicide.
“This young lady gave us a whole (statement) about what happened.”
Last week, Northampton County Coroner Zachary Lysek ruled Ward’s death a homicide that was directly related to the injuries she suffered in the shooting.
Police investigators and prosecutors in Pennsylvania and New Jersey called the case unique, and prosecutors on both sides of the Delaware River could not recall similar situations.
I tried to talk to them
They just didnt listen
““Usually you have a scenario when a victim dies shortly
after a homicide.”
That’s not right, is it? A victim of a homicide can’t die /after/ the homicide.
It’s not a homicide until the victim is dead. See the dictionary.
The victim dies after the /attempt at homicide/, at which point the homicide has succeeded and it turns into an actual homicide.
Now please kill me; my head hurts.
“Usually you have a scenario when a victim dies shortly after a homicide”
Words….there are simply no words to express how much I am laughing over this sentence.
If you are dead, can you die again? The eternal question. Yet Northampton County’s own First Deputy District Attorney Terry Houck has found the answer.
I shall go to worship him.
why did you have to say that
I’m mostly concerned about my 5 bucks. I bet that the next fail would be a video.
Hence ‘Great.’. Now I’m pennyless again.
Maybe penisless?
That was as entertaining as shattering your elbow.
Maybe todays’ trolls should look for another job…?
I don’t get it…are they afraid to talk to police?
..
Proof that who smelt it delt it!
..
DB
See, there’s where you’re wrong. I submit that shattering his elbow would be immensely entertaining.
I concur.
Videos are only mondays through thursdays, I believe. Though I haven’t made a scientific study.
Speaking of which, whatever happened to that anthropology student?
Apparently, it was about a gunshot victim who lived just long enough to give police a detailed description of what happened and who shot her.
Who lived ‘just long enough’..??
“Ward was shot in the face in October and succumbed Dec. 31 to her wounds. Her death came after she gave police a detailed written account of what happened.”
Shot in october – succumbed Dec. 31st… That leaves her with over two months worth of time to tell the police what happened. I guess that’s somewhat more than ‘just enough’.
Nice! I am getting sick of Yahoo questions that failblogers make up then post here.
But this one is obviously photoshopped. Look at the shadows!
mumble mumble *pixels* mumble mumble
And I think most of the article is written in Simlish anyway.
FISRT!!
OMG STOP THE STOOPID COWNTDOWN ON VIDZ11!!!1 iT sUX11!!
Consider it done.
I’m a “failbloger” now??
Okay…who wants to be a bloger with me??
I do! I bloged in the Olympics!
Woohoo!! We’ll be the awesome bloger chicks…the dynamic duo of bloging!
Hey – don’t forget me – - the bloger-mouse!
Is that the sequel to Die Fleder Mouse?
Mouse on a hot tin roof?
My favorite superhero.
Danger Mouse?
you failed to bloger nose?
exactly… and why would the newspaper say “FAIL” at the bottom corner of the paper? they obviously photoshopped the word “FAIL” into the pic…
Please tell me you’re being sarcastic!
Another “Mr. Photoshop”. It doesn’t look to me like it’s photoshopped.
Take a good look at the blur on the left top of the page (northwest) and then compare it to the blur on the entire right side. It’s blatantly obvious the pixellation has been doctored. I’m not saying it was a bad job, but it clearly has been photoshopped.
photoshop “equalize” indicates no trafficking.
Wouldn’t it be a more pronounced headline if it said “Homicide Victims Sometimes Talk to Police”?
BRAAAINS!!
Not surprising really. though, when MJ comes back, evry1’s gonna b surprised
…because they’re dead.
Wait! You’re not Captain Obvious. Are you allowed to say that?
oooooooooh
O W N E D
But cooperation is so important! Break the omerta!
Omerta. Is that like ohone?
*takes out hammer* Will this be enough?
How did you get that hammer? It was inside the glass case with the alarm.
And covered in bees!
“I’m covered in bees…AAAAHHHHHH!!!!”
*plants flag*
Flee, bees! Flee!
Beehive yourself, honey.
Don’t drone on, darlin’.
Well, that’s probably why the police take so long to respond!!
That made me laugh, and laughing still makes me cough, damn-it!
I sorry Avis!!
It’s my own fault for coming HERE when I’m still coughing!
Did you try the dark chocolate trick? If so, did it help?
I tried the Robitussin/Butalbital trick. I feel MUCH better now. The cough will linger a bit, but it won’t send me into convulsions anymore (oh, how I wish I were kidding about the convulsions). Clicky my name for a more complete story.
Clickied.
Yikes Avis – you take care of yourself!!!
Yeah… Geez. Keep this up and you won’t even be able to failblog!
Really, I’m feeling much better!
When you’re better, I’ll bring you a nice big bowl of soup!
Feeling better is good!
*hugs Avis*
I’m not dead yet!
Yay!!
*offers cough drop*
But we would miss you otherwise.
*takes proffered cough drop*
Thanks! For both the cough drop and the sentiment!
Have you tried Vicks vapor rub Avis?
Yeah, it’s not much of a help and dear lord, does it smell bad! This trailing off period of the cough is normal for me. It sounds awful, but doesn’t hurt.
Two words:
Ny
Quil
NyQuil NyQuil NyQuil we love you, you giant F—ing Q. Big N, little Y, giant f—ing Q!
I liked them BEFORE they changed the formula. The good stuff is behind the pharmacy counter these days. You don’t need a ’scrip for it, but you do have to sign for it. NyQuil changed so they could stay on the shelf. And the new formula doesn’t work as well.
You can thank the meth-heads for that one.
Yeah, the meth-heads eliminated the antihystamine – Drixoral – that I’ve taken since I was a teenager, and which is the only thing I’ve found that actually works for me. I bought a bunch from Canada before it escalated in price due to there being a shortage – you can’t buy it anymore in the US at all.
I’ve got about two years of non-sneezing, non-runny eyes life, at 1/2 my usual dosage, until I have to figger out what I’m gonna do.
Probably get a ’scrip for it and pay through the nose. Talk to a pharmacist they might actually be able to help. Don’t go to wallgreen’s though, every single one I’ve ever been to has had a particularly unhelpful staff. The tiny, hole in the wall, no frills pharmacy is the best place to go for that kind of info.
It’s simply not available in the US. I’ve talked to numerous pharmacists, both in the US and in Canada. Schering’s website says the shortage is because they’re moving their factory. Right. it’s been in short supply for at least a year, and prior to that it had graaaaadually become harder and harder to get.
So it goes…
I was thinking a ’scrip for something else that might work.
A few meth-heads had to screw it up for the rest of us. That hardly seems fair.
End Prohibition Now!
Just let the crack-/coke-/meth-heads have access to unrestricted quantities of low-cost dope. Then watch as the Hand of Darwin
improves the gene-pool.
Chill out as sensible people take modest quatities of soft drugs.
And let people suffering from a host of diseases gain relief without having to jump through ridiculous hoops.
@WN:
Try any antihistamine with extended relief Pseudoephedrine.
e.g. Claritin D
As long as you do not have glaucoma or prostate issues.
OR, you could take the homeopathic route. Aura Cacia produces a line of oils that I have had good results with.
1 Cup boiling water
3 drops White Thyme
3 drops Clove Bud
3 drops Cinnamon Leaf
Stir and breath the vapors up to 3 times a day as needed.
Yeah, you have to prop it up with other stuff now. I had a pretty bad toothache a while back and couldn’t sleep no matter what I did. I tried 2 cups of NyQuil & 3 caplets of some nightime sleep aid thing (diphenhydramine). Not sure if the NyQuil was helping, but between the 2 I was out like a light. Messed up my stomach the next morning, but at least I slept.
This is why I went with Robitussin & Butalbital. Butalbital is what I take for migraines and it pretty much knocks me out. The only problem is, now that I haven’t taken it in, ohhh… about four hours, NOW I feel spacey. I walked over to my mothers apartment (one building over) and I swear a few neighbors must have thought I was drunk! No more for me today! As long as I can still breathe and not hurt at least.
If your nose and sinus bother you try the oils I mentioned to WN ^ right above us.
Or some coke.
Okay, that wasn’t helpful. How about a Bex and a good lie down (well that’s what mom used to say, was never sure what she meant, hmm).
Gee, I wonder why?
You have the right to remain silent.
You stop laying there when I’m talking to you
Sir, if you don’t comply immediately…
*tazes corpse*
Watch out SD. That’s how they become zombies.
Good point, Aiki.
*stops tazing…handcuffs corpse*
We’d better take him down to the station for further questioning.
*Tazes corpse again*
Stop resisting! Stop resisting!
It’s not that we’re not wanting to be helpful, but you idiot living folk never ask good questions!
.
“How are you feeling?” – not bad, considering I’m dead.
“What happened?” – I forgot to breathe – WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED?
“Do you need to go to the hospital?” – not anymore, but thanks for asking!
.
Ask us something intelligent, like would we like a nice tasty brain to snack on while we’re waiting for the hearse. We’ll be much more cooperative that way.
Stop resisting!
*wrestles with limp corpse*
It looks like we’re going to have to call for backup.
BRAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNS
What a shocking development!!!
IMPOSTOR!!!!
And his epitaph reads, “DON’T TAZE ME BRO!”
“He died as he lived, not snitching.”
have it!!
Apparently Disney got it right on the Pirates of Caribbean ride. I always said that ride was based on a true story.
Dead men tell no tales eh?
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum?
*chases wenches around and around*
Leave one for me. Or two… or three.
aye aye captain
what do you do with a drunken sailor??
Anything I want!
*Snickers*
Where’s my pirate Admiral???
I’m feeling wenchy.
If the Dread Admiral Roberts takes no prisoners, who is left to tell the tale?!
He may take no prisoners…but he is a man of much restraint.
*holds up extra large roll of duct tape*
zzzzZZZZZZIP
*rip!*
Bring the rum with you, my wenchy friend. We’re going to get hot and buttered!
WOOHOOO!
*hitches up corset and adjusts eyepatch*
Imma comin’, my matey!
looking for peter pan?
mmm?
No Shit
They really should be more cooperative.
They’re mostly dead quiet.
Silent as the grave they are.
If we thought we could enlighten you, we would. There really isn’t much else to say, is there? The only thing you living folk seem even remotely entertained by are fart noises … oh, and the occasional twitching seems to cause a fun reaction!
.
Just wait until the day we decide to take over!
Left 4 Dead caught me how to kill you. Repeatedly press X.
I hate vans.
You should hear the things vans say about YOU!
D :
Yeah, try to kill the dead. Damn you’re brilliant! See what I mean about how stupid the living is?
How well do zombies “survive” fire?
Fire cleans all. Everyone and everything “survives” fire poorly. Even my rotting brain knows that!
The living is a quantity of more than one, thus your sentence
should have been, “See what I mean about how stupid the living are?”
Ya gotta overlook a little, DFL – after all, his brain is rotting.
Clearly.
How did you know I was a he? Lucky guess?
.
We dead people outnumber you living folk by such a large number we sometimes forget there are more than one of you. RBS I guess (Rotting Brain Syndrome).
We all suffer it I guess.
.
Yeah, now you know we need more brains. Feed me yours.
(*moans something about BRAINS!!!!!*)
STFUMAN
Now, let’s not get drastic.
No. I’d feast on your brain if I could find it. Did you hide it up your butt or take it out and put it in storage somewhere?
my butten is poped out!!
out of order
give me replacement!!!
Did you lose an hour? Does your butt hurt? Do you have a chip in your neck?!
How did the pope get access to your butten’
> Just wait until the day we decide to take over!
We have bikini girls with swords and cowboy hats just a-waiting for ya.
And blankets full of syphilis?
This is really a lifeless story.
2nd!!
blazed
but through the fire and the flames we carry on.
dough!!
Nut.
Job.
Smote with sore boils by Satan??!
.
oh sorry…
.
Search.
…your feelings, you know it to be true!
.
Oh sorry…
.
Pattern.
Milli Vanilli?!
.
Oh sorry…
.
Baldness.
damn nvm lol
i thought i was
It took you 4 minutes to write ‘2nd!!’? And you don’t know how to reply? And you don’t have anything else to say but ‘2nd’? And you can’t come up with another name?
It could’ve been worse
i could go worst
you want me to say 3rd instead of 2nd? lol
Homicide victims always talk to the police on TV and in the movies.
i guess it must be some kind of conspiracy…
O.o
I wonder who the other part of the ‘rarely’ are. Ghosts?
*sets up ouija board*
Good idea DrB…then afterward we can play “light as a feather, stiff as a board.”
The latter part of your sentence might have a lot of ladies flocking to your house tonight…
Nah, not as hot as you’d think, they misrepresented what they meant to do to me. The board members tried to take the minutes and vote the last time. I got bored.
We held fresh elections. No more boredom with this bawdy board.
The part that scares me the most is “rarely”.
Good point!
One show… Pushing Up Daisies.
I totally forgot about that.
it’s pushing daisies… and that was pretty much my first thoguht upon reading that headline LOL!
Okay, exactly where is this a news item?
THANK YOU!!! news is for people who care about stuff that’s already happened…
So what is there for people who care about the future?
Zombie
Get your shotguns ready..
yes sir!!!
When it comes, all the shotguns in the world won’t help you. We have you outnumbered by a few billion to one – YOU HAVE NO CHANCE!
I wouldn’t normal be scared of zombies, but holy crap, they learned to use computers.
Just wait until we figure out how to use computers to procreate. THEN you’ll have something to fear!
i will accept only hot zombie not the one brain poped out
Wait a sec … keep up with me here people …
.
I am the ZombieApocalypse. By definition I am brain dead, yet I can use punctuation, correct capitalization and complete sentences that make sense. So what does that say about 2nd here?
LOFLS (Laying On Floor Laughing Silently)
come on get out of my way!! im expecting hot chick zombie not you lol
What, exactly is “poped?”
The past tense verb form of Pope. Silly.
I hate to break it to you, but those damned naked chimps have been breeding like rabbits instead of like apes. There are so many people being born, and the rate keeps going up, that I doubt you have more than a 10-1 advantage.
Then, throw in the fact that even most skeletones decompose after a century, and your numerical advantage shrinks still further.
Plus, you obviously watched too many movies while you still had functioning eyeballs. The living in zombie movies tend to behave more stupidly than the dead. IRL the living tend to be smarter than the zombies, although I concede that the gap is not as big as the living might think.
(While I may be one of the “living”, I am not strictly-speaking a human. As an anthropomorphic manifestation of ill-temper and misanthropy, I take no sides in this battle.)
*gets off Grumpy Curmudgeon’s lawn*
*Puts a stamp on his cranky letter to the local paper about the slide in the quality of slippers*
*turns down that dad-gummed music*
*helps him turn on Matlock because the remote confuses and frightens him*
Damn straight. In my day we walked to the TV to change the channel. These new-fangled “remotes” have too darned many buttons.
Someone should do something!
Yes they should.
Say there, Sonnee, you got a light for my tobaccee pipe?
Sure! *whips out his flamethrower*
*leans over with pipe in mouth*
Thank ya Sonnee, this here younger gen-ee-ration ain’t so bad as they say!
Um… WN your hair is on fire.
Yeah sorry about that.. Uh.. LOOK A ZOMBIE! *runs away*
*calmly goes to ‘In case of zombies’ case, breaks glass, dons shotgun*
In a line now… one at a time.
Think of how many shotgun rounds there are in the world.
.
Now think of how many living people there are in the world.
.
Now think of how many DEAD there are buried underground.
.
You have no chance. We outnumber you. Just surrender to the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!
Have fun crawling through a coffin and 6 feet of dirt. That is all I have to say.
And, hi, grandma.
Why do you think we’re so pissed off with you when we finally do arrive? I mean I guess we can understand the 6 feet of dirt bit, but why the box? You deserve what we’re bringing!
Is it delicious and nutritious?
Hang on. . . Fire + Zombie = renewable energy source.
We gotta figger out how to use them in internal combustion engines.
Blenders… That’s all I need to say.
I usually don’t like this kind of joke, but when my friend told it to me I thought it was hilarious. I don’t know why.
.
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tostitos!
It’s a sick world Hammy and your part of it.
Did you ever see Burn After Reading? It’s pretty funny, if you’re into that kind of humo(u)r.
Yes, it was funny. Try Freeway or Suicide Kings.
I dunno, when George Clooney came back in the house, grabbed his sex pillow, glared and slammed the door, that was pure gold.
There really aren’t that many things that can make a zombie
laugh, but Hammykins found one!
.
Thanks Hammykins, you will be spared when the ZA comes.
I am infinitely grateful.
A really awful joke I found the other day:
What’s worse than finding six dead babies in a trash can?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Finding one baby in six trash cans!
There’s still rocket launchers..
let’s have some BBQ on your head.
i will bring ribs and sausage XP
Ghost busters? :3
let me call fantastic 4
>:3
JESUS CHRIST IT’S A LION GET IN THE CAR
no it’s a cat run~!!
I thought newspapers were supposed to report the news not the obvious…
Society is geared to the average rather than to the exceptional.
True…
Really? I didn’t think it was that high a gearing. Shows what I know.
If only yesterday’s camaro was geared to the average rather than the exceptional…
That’s odd; they always talk to me. All the time. I don’t see them but I hear their voices.
You can hear them too…? They… They lied to me, told me I was the only one who they shared their ideas with, told me I was special… Well I’ll show them!! *Runs off into the night laughing maniacally*
Yeah, they told me the same thing. You can’t really trust what homicide victims say.
Homicide victims just went through a traumatic experience and you want to critique every word they decide is important enough to utter?
.
And they say dead people are stupid.
*tries to restrain herself*
*fails*
I… see… dead people!
(Sorry, just had to do that)
Well… they talk only to coroners. And only the coroners talk to them – if we can believe to CSI: Miami
How are they supposed to? I’ve never heard of Forensic Spiritualism.
Body language.
10 points
You can score points here too!? Sweet!! Not only does FB pass the time at a boring job but you can score points! Can I redeem them for prizes?
You COULD have redeemed them for cookies and various other exotically wonderful baked goods, but Diana the Insane hasn’t been around much since she got engaged
That won’t last forever. She will probably come back after the honeymoon is over. I’ll keep my points until she’s back.
I can provide cookies, in the mean time. *totes a basket full of chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal cookies* I believe she has a 2 per person limit. Help yourselves.
You don’t, by chance, play WoW… do you? :3
No, but it sounds like fun. What is WoW? (Besides MoM upside down)
*ponders “Sham” upside down…*
¡ʍoʍ-ɯɐɥs
Hmmm…..”mom-ways”
You’ll be saying sʎɐʍ-ɯoɯ! every time.
World of Warcraft.
Oh, I should have known that. *slaps self on forehead* No I don’t play WoW.
You shall go far here, then. For now, you are a noob…but you have potential!
I play WoW. I still speak and write whole words, and can even use punctuation! I also enjoy lolcats, although after one or two forays into the comments sections, my eyes began to bleed, and I refuse to go into that dark chasm ever again. Just for balance, I admire Jonathan Colten and the FUMP is a, like, totally awesome site, dude.
They are clearly not serious. You can see that in the first paragraph, the only legible one. This isn’t really fail, its clearly deliberate
But Kutner WOULD talk to them?
It’s just freaking awesome.
’cause they are dead! *high five!
“Clap” (high five)
Don’t make excuses for those bocket-kicking, daisy-pushing, worm-feeding Nancy-boy Sissypantses. There’s no excuse for not squealing, just like there’s no excuse for squealing. You can not-squeal. You just can’t make an excuse for it.
“Rarely”?? “RARELY”??!?
Is there a percentage available?? 1 out of 1000 would still make ME quit the force.
Unrelated note: The Space channel is having an all day Star Wars marathon! All 6 movies back to back! Woot!
Makes me wish I had a TV…
Me too…
It’s a Canadian channel anyway.
Moose have tv now?!
Plus I highly recommend skipping I, II, and III.
ok i think the question everyone is forgetting is
WHERE’S THE PICKLE?
wtp?
A curse on whoever posted that “Pickle Surprise” link. That pickle-guy gives me nightmares.
Hey sweethooligan, I can recommend a good doctor if you’re interested in eyeball-reduction surgery. You could use it
actually my eyeballs are perfectly fine i need eyelid enhancement surgery
Sweet. Go for the “Rocky Balboa” puffy look. The babes will be all over you.
Not sure he was the first, but you can lay the blame for the repeated Pickle Surprise links right at the feet of our dear mr. cuddles.
*curses mr. cuddles*
*Feels guilty*
*retracts curse*
*grabs beer and is thankful it’s finally the weekend*
Good thing you did that. Mr. cuddles can get right feisty when ticked!
*removes curse from original source* Don’t do that again.
…for brewski, of course! Hey DW
Hee…! Hiya, DrB.
*squeeze!*
*squeeze* Hope your weekend’s relaxing!
I’m off for some vege gardening. (also, the original poster is well, just btw) Enjoy!
Let’s just say mr. cuddles didn’t start it.
Though he carried it thusly!
It’s freaky hershey man! RUUUN!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, SERIOUS? OMFG!
“Rarely” talk, implying that sometimes they do? – I’d love to hear the interviews when they do talk…
Cop: Can you describe your assailant?
Homicide Victim: Braaaaaaaiiiiiinssssss
Cop: You were attacked by a Thunderbird?
*Pulls The Hood over Moonin’s eyes*
SQUEEZE!
*Speeds away in FAB1*
Get out of me!
This is some really great journalism…
The victim won’t talk. That’s up to the evidence.
the real fail is that it says “Rarely” meaning at some point they Do…..
The unwritten (until now) rules for homocide victims:
1. Don’t squeal. No matter what they ask you, how they ask you, or how many times they ask you, don’t say anything.
2. No skeleton dancing. This isn’t the late seventies. Disco is long gone. Get over it.
3. Rot. Rot like there’s no tomorrow.
4. Don’t discuss Horus’s relationship with Set to Anpu. Anpu already knows. He just doesn’t need to be reminded.
But it’s a dead man’s party! Who could ask for more?
And lol, how did you know the deceased was gay?
‘Cause if you add an ‘r’ he told you what the victim drank?
Funny, but skeletons dancing makes me think of the Grateful Dead, not disco.
It brings Micheal Jackson to mind…for some reason.
Makes me think of Michael Jackson.
Back when I was a homicide victim I told the police everything.
Better ingredients. Better pizza. Papa John’s.
I’d say it’s a win for those rare ones who DO talk to police.
That isn’t always true… cops all have psychics right?
Haha this reminds me of that Monty Python sketch about if there’s an afterlife.
Should be “americans understanding sarcasm fail”
*capitalizes a*
Are you referring to the title of this fail?
If I rarely talk to the police, does that make me a homicide victim? Or anti sociable? I wonder if there’s anything that will bring some entertainment into my life! OOOH, potatoes and bacon! I wonder what I can do with these…anyone willing to help my try out my ideas?
no, really?
actually, the is a use-less headline fail.
Dumb Strikes. Food = Chairs.
lol, I saw this on Jay Leno
this is from a segment of headlines from the tonight show with leno.
it’s true i’ve never pay atention for this… but isn’t only the police, they stop to talk to everyone ahsuhuhsuahsuhauhsuahsuhauhs
fortunately i don’t know anyone whos is a homicid victim…
i swear i’ll start to look this fate in focus
i wonder why they don’t collaborate… -.-
i talk to dead people all the time… you can learn a lot from “victims”!!!
Victims; aren’t we all?
well, i like to think of myself as anti-victim, as i usually don’t talk to strangers unless they’re dead(very hard to discern)… PLUS, i’m to empathetic to actually care about “victims”…
Of homicide? No.
WELL, i guess if they weren’t old enough to die, they wouldn’t have,..
Im curious as to how they intend a homicide VICTIM to talk to police?
they’re pigs… therefore, incredibly stupid… police!!! the prosthetic arm of the law!!!
Stating the obvious win.
overstating the obvious win, perhaps?!?
Over-replying win.
thanks!!! I WIN!!! PLUS, you rock… inciting argument is a specialty as i work for a branch of the government known for eliciting negative reactions… nothing but love, nellie…
Swell.
Thanks for stating the obvious.
you’re welcome…
Thank you for saying ur welcome =)
i love you… and, you’re welcome…
And why should we trust homicide victims in the first place? They rarely pay their taxes and almost never vote. I’ve seen many fail to even feed their pets.
“almost never vote”!!! take an anthropology course in school and be damned if you ever make that assumption again… dead people vote all the time… otherwise nothing makes sense… especially me!!! but, i don’t vote, mind you…
google I mean gogol ‘dead souls’
though i will agree with you on the “feed their pets” issue… my friends starve for the simple fact that the joints ache too much to move mostly… but starvation is a key element in the entertainment industry…
I wonder why…
for how much longer???
Necromancy fail?
rarely… as in sometimes they do talk?
I saw “Express-Times” on the article, and immediately thought “There is no way this could have been in my local paper.”
Sadly, it was. Anyone got the date on the clipping? Its so fuzzed out I can’t see it. :\
This looks like more of an april fools win than a headline fail
Actually reminds me of a story I read in the newspaper not so long ago, a man was stabbed and beaten and managed to give his killer’s name to the police before dying… on the street…
I would of saved the interrogation until after the ambulance arrived.
Nice post. It’s helpful. I will be back for more.
Sincerely,Alain Power
Job offers Canada
Well, you wouldn’t, would you? Even if you can remember it, it’s going to be a touchy subject; you’re not going to want to relive it (so to speak) over and over again.
My local paper. A horrible paper.
Of course they can’t talk to the police, they’re too busy dying.
last time i was murdered i told the police.
“Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police”
hmmmm…….. one would hope so.
pft, just give super ultra (douche) psychic john edwards a call and he can talk them for the cops
won’t they be dead by then?
That’s a shame. It would be so helpful if they’d be more cooperative.
I’d HOPE they never talk to police, cause then that would indicate a zombie outbreak….
…and the ones that do talk are promptly stabbed with a crucifix.
This was on Leno…
i wonder why..they should speak up so all the crimes can be solved!!!
ahahaha
SOMEONE! HURRY! KILL THIS DAMN TROLL BEFORE HE GETS ANY FURTHER!
WHUUAATT!??!!!
THEY DONT?!
Dammit thats just such a shame..
REALLY? ur kidding!