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Cheezburger Network Blog
Boy, I’m Firsty. Anybody got any water?
*passes water*
Make sure to lick the wondercheese from under my nuts
lmao eminem reference!!! XD
omg dude, ive been wanting that screen name since forever, ur my hero
This isn’t a fail. It is a standard sign displayed in brothels.
My thoughts exactly. Get out of my head, Hello!
My thoughts with a reasonable amount of similarity.
GMTA
That is actually off of a sticker sheet that came with Maxim or FHM several years ago. I did the same thing: Put on bathroom mirror in a public place! WIN!
It was from a series of stickers that came with Maxim magazine sometime in the early 00’s. I have one on my bathroom mirror, along with the one that says “Toilet camera is for research use only.”
Its actually the sign in the bathroom of the porn studio.
Hang on a Second.
I made some lemonade if you’d all like to quench your thirdst.
Thanks for being so fourthcoming with your kindness.
This thread is even more fifthy than the genitals.
I know, it’s sixthening.
Nobody’s gonna get into seventh heaven with remarks like this…
No matter what I eight I would not drink this water
- Have you seen any German spies?
- Nein!
This thread is getting really intenth.
Eleven’d piece of bread tastes good, right?
…Twelve.
>.>
<.<
Thirteen ages at the brothal must’ve snuck in ;DD
ten men walk into a bathroom
Five go into the stalls, five go to the urinals…
…and even though there are only two stalls there are enough toilets for everyone, then someone accidenty a whole urinal cake…
And burps.
It is a sweet smelling burp
I fourtht about making some myself, but the idea made me feel sixth.
I seventh really thought about it.
Apparently someone eight what was left of five
This is so shopped. The pixels!
Pffffft!! It’s a brothel WIN!
Stops the help from being crabby, and reduces the overhead used for sending crab cake apologies.
The health inspector admitted that the place is still licentious.
The owner tried to spruce up the place with sweet scabious but had to scratch the idea in the end.
!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes! The pixels! That happen with every jpeg.
Some people just save images with low quality.
There are gag signs made for this. Possibly somebody bought one of those and stuck it up at work to see if people would do it. I forget where those signs are sold or I’d pass a link…
Actually, these came in Stuff magazine. I had them. They also had ‘please do not hang clothes over 2 way mirror’, and ‘ask your server abot her psoriassis’ (spelling).
It’s actually a sticker from the magazine Stuff. They had a bunch of fake stickers like that years ago when the magazine first came out. I remember my friend and I worked at a gas station that sold it and we took a bunch of the stickers and put them in bathrooms all over the place.
Yeah, there were a bunch of funny ones like this…another one I remember was one that said “Toilet Cams Used For Research Purposes Only”…it was pretty funny…
They came from Stuff Magazine probably close to a decade ago now…
I see the prostitution industry has its own Health and Safety inspectors now.
Yeah, all streetwalkers now have to wear yellow reflective jackets.
They’re all about safety!
If you need instructions, look at the previous sign.
*laughs* You mean like gargling mouth wash?
*laughs with lips close together*
It would be okay if they meant wash your own genitals…
Ha ha ha!
You’re going to sneeze? I said cough.
CHEW!!!
I love that you have no teeth
Are you contradickting me?
Not peckerticularly. I’m firm about that.
Yes, but does she take dicktation?
*admires teeth marks*
Oh…I umm…had some prepared earlier!
*admires easter orb*
*Winds up teeth*
chatter chatter chatter
*touches the orb*
Don’t touch the orb Aja. Dragon will take over your mind.
But I’ll do it in a good, sexy, friendly-type way…not that evil wizard, want-to-take-over-Middle Earth type way.
Well, jeez, I think everyone should.
Otherwise it really would be sanitary fail
i was going to say the same thing. i think this should be a hygienic win!
FAIL! That was a sticker from either Maxim or Stuff magazine from a few years ago. They did a whole sheet of stickers for you to put up in inappropriate places. Not to be taken seriously.
Here is another example
http://www.privacylawyer.ca/blog/uploaded_images/jiffyjohn-750641.png
God, I’m like the Smithsonian of useless shit today.
Get those stickers off and go wash you!
FAIL for reading Maxim and Stuff magazines.
I was nineteen, this wasn’t like a recent thing. If I wanted soft-core porn, I would get it for free on the interwebz.
You mean there’s an appropriate place for these stickers?
If you have males between 5 and 15 in your house, yes, ohhh yes it would be appropriate. In fact, the bathroom door should lock automatically until sufficient cleanliness has been detected. Anyone want to invent the detector?
Alternatively, they can use hand sanitizer. But then I guess that product would have to be renamed.
Baconlube?
jamaican cube?
Haitian Noob
Taken boob? (Which then becomes MAHboobeh.)
…or YOURboobeh
Who beh Boobeh? o.O
yeboobeh no thanks *)
I wash and wash but still feel dirty
Try an exorcism. That worked for me.
*rotates head 360 degrees to read comment*
Ah yes, never thought of that
*beats* out foul demon!
The wurst is gone; it’s now time for cleansing.
Can I keep it in a jar next to my bed?
Pickle surprise?
Your mother sews socks that smell.
*vomits out a sock*
Much better!
*picks up foul sock with tongs* I don’t think those pea soup stains will come out.
what the…… that’s not a sock! Its all rubbery!
We demand that you make for us…a shrubbery!
NI!
*gets some coconut shells*
*bashes them together*
Neigh!
You shall not pass!
Its just a flesh wound, I fart in your general direction
oh oh i see running away eeh… you yellow basterds!!
Mookie, what does the “XIVIO” mean on your Easter Egg?
Hi Roadkill! I dunno – I found it on the internet.
Be careful with what you find on the internet. You could be summoning the Great Easter Demon, and not even know it.
The sausage of Kostelecke Uzeniny COMPELS you!!
I don’t know what posessed me!
(push out)
Pull my….er..finger!
Could you help out an old sausage maker, Father? I’m a Catholic.
Keep calling me father and we can sort something out
Granny! Granny! Why you do dis to me, Granny??
That was NOT a dis my good friend, was merely trying to amuse you
(I know…it was sort of a paraphrase from The Exorcist.)
DANG!
*runs down the stairs upsidedown*
WAH!
Naw, get back here! Obscure-misquote-paraphrase-reference fail on me. By me. Of me. From me.
*runs back upstairs, gets into bed*
Grandpa’s down here with me
*eats granny up*
Ptuie, the sign said you were supposed to wash your genitals
Cleanup on isle 3? (clickie)
I can certainly achieve part of that
My Mr Moomin, what big genitals you have
All the better to *bompf* you with
OR use as space hoppers. Could go either way.
*Barges into nest*
>.>
<..>
*leaves*
I’m not clicking any more random links…
Silly Malicite, you obviously haven’t been on here long enough to have learned that lesson already.
Oh and by the way *SQUEEZE*
Just this once! In the name of education
Morning McFail *nibbles only a little bit this time during the squeeze*
I have learned something valuable today…about… *fails*
*lets go of protruding sausage*
Hey! Thats a cheese griller! I’m lactose intolerant! Jeez don’t you wash?
Seems like a good idea to me.
I’d tap that
*ba dum tish*
Don’t applaud, he’ll faucet some more.
*Tap dances*
*Falls in sink*
*helps 4D out* That there is the genital washing sink, you don’t wanna fall in there
swaps first ‘l’ for ‘i’
there, much funnier
what washing genitals in a sink is that how you go about your business
Thanks granny, I might have been stuck in there for hours if it wasn’t for-
What are you doing in that sink?!
You know the book… everybody defecates ^_^
Really …..
This isnt photoshopped. It’s real. This was a sticker that came in Stuff magazine a few years ago. They also had one that said “hung like a fruit bat” and a few others that were really funny.
*Sweeps comment under the Matt*
Nope…photoshopped
My employees take pride in their genitals so we make sure that they are spic and span for our consumers.
You missed a spot
Do they show them off? I mean, you have to have a genital inspection, right? How do you know they are clean? Do they stand around before each shift with their pants down for inspection? Do they have to “salute”>
Eeeeaaaakkkk
Hooray, I’m 5xnd/rd/th
Do you put you genitalia under the tap
with the water flowing that hard?
Here’s the troll!
Porka does not wash his bollix. He keeps them salty and vinegary.
Paradip
-stares- Sexual… scrubbing?
P.S. How does one do that the little musical notations?
P.P.S. Bubbles!!!
It was bubbling even before the soap was added, I suggest antibiotics
Maybe it was hydrogen peroxide, for that tingling feeling
Save some for the bum bleaching! OOH that tickles!
*takes away chemicals* if all that does is tickle, then I think you’ve had too much mister!
I need something stronger
*Roots around underneath my sink*
Hydrochloric Acid?
Ooh! Better get the wire brush for this
*Produces pneumatic metal grinder from behind back*
Are you sure that thing’s gonna touch sides?
I guess we’ll find out…
*whirrrrr*
*****SPARKS*****
Its working!
calling yourself a wombat eats roots and leave…use bleach!!!!
well how do you get something stronger.one digit or three!!!!
bets putting ya finger up ya cake hole…
Copy/paste from other fails. Or look up ‘quaver unicode’ or something.
-blinks- I can’t believe I never thought to do that, what with my notepad file with everyone’s name copied and pasted! Along with comments… saved in the file with Screen Shots…
Thank you kindly!
First……. in line to wash
At least we know our food won’t be TOO contaminated when the disgruntled employees stick their junk in there.
Morning everyone. What wash my genitals?
I just showered. x.x;
Yes Sir, I do what that signs say; see, I wasn’t wanking, I was just washing my genitals really fast..
Just as long as you weren’t collapsing your horse. Go about your business son!
Hey I haven’t heard that one.
If you scrub more than 3 times its wanking
unless someone else is scrubbing, then it’s not wanking
bet your a master a wanker rather a scrubber. Go about your business then*)
Maybe it’s a sign at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch?
Hippity, hoppity, resurrection’s on its way?
.
Feeling any better today Avis?
Wouldn’t this be a brothel win?
*puts bottle of Listerine in place of water tap*
NOW its a brothel win…
So this Jason R went to a whorehouse to take this picture?
No, he went to the whorehouse for other reasons… the picture is a byproduct of his visit
Management must be male. It’s easy for a dude to flop their junk on the sink and wash, but what about us ladies, hmmm? I claim SEXISM!!!!
Employ the crab position?
Care to explain? A diagram would be nice too.
I’d rather not. And I’m crap at ascii art.
Here goes.
1. Lay down on your back.
2. Place your hands palm downwards by your side.
3. Safety.
4. Lift yourself up using your hands and feet.
5. You can now splash your genitals or play crab football.
Crab football is great! Haven’t played it since i was in the Cubs.
LOL! 3. Safety! Bwahahahaha!
You are too much! I don’t think I will be attempting this any time soon though. LOL
…
Besides, won’t you need your hands to do the splashing?
Or do a pretty cool Linda Blair impression if you can scurry down the stairs in that position.
Taste like crab, talk like people
Zoidberg is the future.
Now open your mouth and let´s have a look at that brain!
Careful Mikey, could be a zombie
That’s why the water flow is so fast on the sticker… douching action from afar
I don’t care to get my clothes all wet.
If your place of employment requires you to wash your genitals, how much clothing do you think is being worn?
…still too much lol
Get your mind out of the gutter already! Still too early to be talking smut, no?
LEILA, I’m afraid you’re talking to a brick wall.
BFF! Hi there! When did this brick wall go up anyway?
Hullo Avis. This brick wall gradually built up over Wednesday and this morning. It’s a very persistant one.
Ah, that explains why I hadn’t seen it before. It appears to be quite dense, no? And very dull.
Well, what did you expect from a brick wall?
Good point.
We could try smashing it down, but it’s more fun demolishing it brick by brick.
This is most certainly true!
Like I said yesterday, moments of maleness that subside into androgyny…
And hey, I stopped making pervy comments personal didn’t I? They’re aimless now, and progress is progress
It’s never too early to be talking smut.
I like this.
Don’t give warpie reason to get worse.
Well in my defense, this forum IS all about genitals…
and obsessed with your genital smut anything you care to explain…..
your grose!!!!
That’s the male’s washroom. In the female washroom they have a hose.
*flops junk in the sink*
Like this?
A Granny like me don’t need no hose
OH NO!!! You know that’s just wrong……on every level granny.
I disagree! I find it very much right! *snickers*
Just because you and granny have an illegitimate love child… hehe
What’s love got to do, got to do with it?
EVERYTHING!
Judy, why did you change your avatar??? Your last one was way
cooler if I remember correctly
Oh, Granny, you old pickle-lover, you!
Unlike Judy…the new age pickle-lover?
Ain’t nuthin’ ‘new age’ about me, Mal, I’m pure old-school!
Warpie, Malecite and I were very much in love when you were born, please don’t call yourself a bastard
Well, I don’t. But if you ask Leila I’m sure you’ll get a different answer ^_^
come here you *squeeze* thanks for the backup, was feeling a bit disgusted with myself and my rude comments
lol, my position in life (at least the life on the interwebz) is to make the rude people look polite. Right Leila?
Don’t get me involved in your sick games!!! :: runs out screaming ::
From the first comment you’ve made to me, I strongly believe and highly recommend that you need some kind of intervention. Perhaps some mental help might benefit you. LOL
I am only joking.
If I didn’t need help then something WOULD be wrong with me lol
there is something WRONG with you need intervention
where did you come from warpie*) cabbage patch? a virgin…..hehe
bend over and go on your toes….lol
ZOMG!!!!! I have my own avatar!!!!!
Thank you again Zurack and Daisy for the tip. Hope you can see this.
its been working since yesterday…
I didn’t see it till this morning but thank you for letting me know. You are somewhat decent afterall.
See? Maleness subsides, androgyny ensues.
I’d rather decant than be decent *pours shampagne*
And I’ll preemptively say ’sham-wow’ to foil any would-be repliers…
SHAM!!!
….
Fiddlesticks!
*sulks away*
It’s a relief, eh? I got so sick of having a nauseated triangle as an avatar.
It is. This close up of the rose is actually from a bouquet my daughter gave on mother’s day.
ZOMG photoshoped
Pffffftt!!! :: splutters spit Aja’s direction :: IT IS NOT!!!!!
Photoschloppped.
I’d say this is a win. I don’t want to stand next to anyone who has crotch rot.
*stands next to BF*
*stands on other side of BF*
*nests inside myself, then proceeds to play air guitar, fanning my genitals in BF’s general direction*
are your genitals big enough to fan/play air guitar all at once – like to see that!
Well hopefully you wouldn’t get aquinted (sp?) enough with the guy next to you to find out if he has crotch rot….
What the hell is crotch rot? Is it a reference to something smelly? If so… BARF!!!!!
cotch crotch? (clickie)
Clickie BLOCKED!!!! F’n firewalls. Damn big brother!!!!!!! Always watching……..
There are times, young one, when you should trust your big brother. Never, NEVER click on a granny link!
o.O … I guess I should have known better huh? Damn you grannie!!!!!! Thanks Judy.
Granny’s links should ALWAYS come with a disclaimer but if you’ve a good, strong stomach, they’re always worth a belly laugh.
180th!!!!!!!
i mean 182nd!!!!
Avis, these brick walls keep shooting up, don’t they?
Yeah, but they don’t appear to be well constructed. One poke in just the right place and they’ll come down like a house of cards.
Maybe its at a brothel? No one likes a smelly vagina! :O
If it smells like cologne, leave it alone, if it smells like fish, get a dish.
Everyone loves a smelly vagina, they just dont like sour ones. (then again why would you go down on a hooker?)
OH NO!!! Why must you be so nasty? GO TO YOUR ROOM!!!!
….
I gotta say something that holds true, a vegetarian diet yields to a nice aroma in the nether regions. That’s all I have to share.
I will supplement that by suggesting lots and lots of pineapple to girls who wish to give their partner a sweet treat…
And I’ll nest myself. That’s about as close to being in a room as I can be on failblog ^_^
To feed them? That’s really sweet.
Well, in a way yea lol
what do you taste like? sour pineapple heard cranberries good for whaffle penile breath. cant imagine you feeding as well as genital fanning/air guitar:) your genitals must be smaller than failblog -/
Warpie been bad boy >.>
But if you send him to his room make sure he doesn’t have acces to porno, a hand or bacon lube……..
or a calicus remover and some hand moisteriser and gloves and tissues and …hehehe
I first saw this years ago in the men’s room at the Uptown Bar & Grill in Minneapolis. This shot might even be from there, but it’s too tightly framed to tell. 3018 Hennepin, if anyone wants to make a pilgrimage.
this is perfect for a strip club or whore house. ROFL
Discernment between true fail and intentional joke FAIL.
They didn’t mention that this sign was at the Bunny Ranch.
hahahaha fresh all the time
more than a fail…this is a joke, i think
sanitary win; crabs fail?
So that’s what the signs in a strip club bathroom say. Learn something new everyday, although it’s not always pleasent.
The sign inside every strip club you never see.
Genital washing? Who actually flings theirs on the sink to be washed?
FAKE! This was a sticker from STUFF Magazine
wow, let’s take a picture of a novelty sticker and post it on the interwebs like it’s something real. you fail at failing. and no, that does not mean that you win.
Ed Hardy shirts
The secret, ladies and gentleman, can be revealed for you now.
That particular sticker is on the mirror in the employee’s bathroom of a Domino’s Pizza in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
How can I know this? Because I used to work at said pizzeria, and worked with the fellow who put it there.
Also, above the toilet is a sign that says, “Players with shorter bats, please step closer to the plate.”
Don’t know if telling this will make the fail any better or worse, but I had to get it off my chest. >_>
I don’t see how this is a fail? Washing the genitals is a win in any situation!
fake.
It’s our new company policy, your saying you didn’t get the memo?
this is facking wreed
Pervert sign wins
More like Sanitary win
Either it was photoshopped or it was done as a joke. Either way, it is not much of a fail.
I always consider a “fail” a mistake. With all the jokes and photoshopped pictures I find myself looking for the real fails. When I DO find them I start looking in the comments to see if they are even real.
It’d be nice to have a “photoshop” and “joke” filter on here.
It’s a sign in a porn studio bathroom!! LOL XD
…to avoid crotch-contamination!
I have this sticker! Never thought of sending it in here. hmff… fail…
Do tell..
I don’t want the guy preparing my food to have a dirty wang, disgusting!
I already told you once…