I feel sorry for the Kitten… Little kitty probably got the Cardboard Arnold up it’s Rectum therefore causing the issue.. Plausible, i think so! (Sharp cardboard edges and all)
But the Smith family, known for its camping skills and forest safety awareness – visible only by the dim light from the campfire coals – were too busy fighting off scores of insane porcupines to notice.
I’m dying to know about the kitten with rectum problems!!! Did he belong to a certain vicar who likes to hang curtains naked while standing over erect potatoes? All this ‘economy’ stuff and they don’t even report the REAL NEWS anymore! *bites nails while waiting with bated breath*
please help failbloggers!
i am writing on this blog in order to investigate uses of the words fail, win, and the actions asterisks (ie *gasped* etc) for an anthropology class.
i need evidence that i’ve been writing on the blog and that i’ve been using the words correctly.
so even though my comments might seem stupid/out of place, it is because i HAVE to engage on this blog in order to do well on the paper!
so, i am sorry if you hate my comments, but it is all in the name of anthropoligical research!
FAILBLOGGERS, PLEASE RISE AND HELP!
Aw, thanks! *squeeze*
.
My sinuses are killing me today with this record-high pollen count.
.
Didn’t Inspector Gadget have a cutout of himself he used on occasion? Or am I remembering that cartoon wrong?
Aikiwaza, we’re not in Kansas anymore.
*sings along loudly and off key*
there’ll be peace when you are done
lay your weary head to reeeesst….lallaallalaala
I need some major help! I am writing on this blog for a class, where i am investigating the use of the words fail, win, and the action asterisks ( ie *claps hands with glee* etc)
I have to print out evidence that i have posted on this blog, and that people have responded to me and acknowledged that i used the words correctly.
if this sounds totally lame that is because it is
*shakes head in dissapointment at professor*
so i’m sorry if you think my newbie-ness is obnoxious, but i will not be on here for long!
bloggers of failblog, rise and help me get an A please!
am i the only one who caught this but underneathe the story it say somthing about a cat and his rectum issues? lol i dont know about you but id like to know why that info is in the paper in the first place and how big was this cat?
Arthur, what did the nice sheriff tell you about drinking with the wildlife after Ms. Raccoon filed that complaint? Go lay down in the trailer, I’ll get you a bucket and some aspirin.
I tried to stray from FAILblog.
Seriously, I tried. With every ounce of my being.
But no matter where I went, there it was.
I eventually surrendered and ate a sandwich.
Eeeeeew!!!! DAMN FAILBLOG…I wish they would allow editing ones comments. Okay, picture the comment WITHOUT the smiley. Are you friends with warpie or something?
Look at the time difference between the two! I believe Arnold had enough time to run from Hanson Street to Shaw drive in the time alloted……I bet he gave that kitty it’s rectal problems!!!
There was a young troll named pro
who’s mother was impregnated by a toe
his dad came on his shoe
and kicked her where she poo
and now we have pro don’t you know?
Call me crazy, but I’m more concerned with what’s wrong with the kitten’s rectum in the next paragraph. You just can’t leave someone hanging like that!
It successfully distracted the cops from the illegal shipment of baconlube being loaded out of the back door…
Otherwise the police would have called TWAT, the Tactical Whup-ass Assassins Team to arrest the launderers. Then a celebration would ensue, with lots of Shanpagne.
Aww sorry to hear that Mr. Cuddles! *hands him a cherry cream cheese muffin*
This week has been a blur of business, but I am done after today!
Well, until next Monday, at least. I’m just counting the hours and minutes till freedom! That and I am hungry…and lunch is soon. You have off tomorrow?
I don’t know if I can stay with welding when these cops get to deal with such excitement! oh, and very easily. Pretty sure I can pass the fitness test this year, however they still tell me I have a ‘dangerous disregard of how the law deals with criminals’ WTF is that about?
Wanna grab a cup of java and talk it over? LOL I am of the opinion in the case where a man has raped a child he must be castrated. The law would possibly jail him and make sure his precious rights as ‘human’ has not been violated? Excuse me??????
4:27 p.m. — An Amazon Campground man has got a letter telling him he has won a lottery in England. And yet … and yet … it may not be true. Police log it as a fraud.
9:27 p.m. — Pine Street music wins a complaint, but police find the volume isn’t too bad.
2:17 p.m. — Yap, yap, yap (and endlessly repeat) goes a dog on Franklin Street.
3:00 p.m. — A dog wandering on Hickey Street ends up at Dr. Moon’s. (The vet, not the dentist.)
11:13 a.m. — An older gent with a ponytail is parked by the Common. A caller thinks he is staring at people and could be a sex offender. In fact he is in town from Massachusetts to visit relatives, and is enjoying a cup of coffee. Welcome to Rochester, sir.
2:31 p.m. — Music cranks on Pine from where a warning was dished out. But when police check there is no noise, so this time they’ve no clout.
I guess that’s enough of them. Some are quite amusing – to me, anyway.
Your tax dollars at work. It’s truly a shame that the police are generally discouraged from editorializing. They get to see the worst of the worst on a daily basis.
Go go gadget!
Whoops! Forgot to fix my name.
I kinda liked ya that way
This is an investigation WIN and a crime reporting FAIL (or a paranoia WIN).
Or a recycling FAIL (or an advertising WIN).
screw the cut-out, I wanna hear about goddamn kitten
I’m with u on this 1, some1 pls send in the kitten story.
I feel sorry for the Kitten… Little kitty probably got the Cardboard Arnold up it’s Rectum therefore causing the issue.. Plausible, i think so! (Sharp cardboard edges and all)
I like paranoia win. I’d like to think I’d be able to recognize Ahnold, but maybe the window was more than 4 floors up. And the glass was dirty.
And it was dark. And the wind was howling. And clouds were blowing across the face of an evil-looking moon.
And it was raining with a fierceness never seen before in that area.
That area being Area 52 – while not as infamous as its adjacent Area, nevertheless a hangout for evil spirits and insane porcupines.
And then a shot rang out!
But the Smith family, known for its camping skills and forest safety awareness – visible only by the dim light from the campfire coals – were too busy fighting off scores of insane porcupines to notice.
*GASPS*
*Catches glimpse of insane porcupine with a Glock*
*Dives for cover as a bullet whistles past my head*
*Dials 411*
“Yes, operator, give me the number for 911! Quick!
Operator, oh could you help him place this call?
Nobody seems to notice the Kitten on Shaw drive has Rectum Problems….
and it was heard everywhere!
Reviews for Callaway X-22 Irons
OMG, I wanna see the rest of the article, “cat” and “rectum” in the same sentence.
It has potential, lmao.
I agree… that started off much more amusing!
I’m dying to know about the kitten with rectum problems!!! Did he belong to a certain vicar who likes to hang curtains naked while standing over erect potatoes? All this ‘economy’ stuff and they don’t even report the REAL NEWS anymore! *bites nails while waiting with bated breath*
What’s new pussy cat?
Woah, woah, woah!!!!!!
omg wow wat could have been so important about that kittens rectum that it made the police blotter??? My curiosity will forever be stoked.
“rectum? damn near killed em!”
its an old joke about a kitten with rectum problems. look it up. this article is obviously from a humor column.
please help failbloggers!
i am writing on this blog in order to investigate uses of the words fail, win, and the actions asterisks (ie *gasped* etc) for an anthropology class.
i need evidence that i’ve been writing on the blog and that i’ve been using the words correctly.
so even though my comments might seem stupid/out of place, it is because i HAVE to engage on this blog in order to do well on the paper!
so, i am sorry if you hate my comments, but it is all in the name of anthropoligical research!
FAILBLOGGERS, PLEASE RISE AND HELP!
Aw, thanks! *squeeze*
.
My sinuses are killing me today with this record-high pollen count.
.
Didn’t Inspector Gadget have a cutout of himself he used on occasion? Or am I remembering that cartoon wrong?
*hands tissue*
I can’t remember, though it seems familiar. Googling it came up with an interesting article, though. (Click the name.)
At least the Arnold cutout wasn’t shouting at the children about the murders he committed.
Feel better Velvet :/
I am not sure about the Inspector Gadget…I can’t rightly remember.
*blames the booze*
*blames the boobeh*
(if ≥13 and male)
or
*blames the Boohbah ©*
(if you’re ≤4 or on drugs)
*admires excellent demarcation*
Bookem Dano!! That cardboard cut-out should be locked up!
..
dailygifblog.com
..
DB
Yeah, like spammers.
ill be back,
to stare at u some more
AE why do you keep replying to this guy?
To let people know it’s spam. When I was new here I clicked on similar crap links. Good that I have Avira.
Ahh, ok all is well then. Carry on.
*Joins hands with McFail*
*begins to sing*
♪ Carry on, my wayward son… ♪
*pretends to know the song and tries singing along with WhoaNellie*
*borrows teleprompter from Obama media team*
*quickly changes lyrics*
*sings off key*
Don’t you cry nooo moooore.
Aikiwaza, we’re not in Kansas anymore.
*sings along loudly and off key*
there’ll be peace when you are done
lay your weary head to reeeesst….lallaallalaala
*insert awesome gutar riff*
::inserts awesome guitar riff and starts to bob head::
*insert awesome guitar riff*
*starts bobbing head*
Helicopter! *squeeze* was my favo(u)rite show as i child.
I know! I frequently find myself wishing I had the arms. That’d be mighty handy!
Or other extendable items like that car to go over traffic.
I would LOVE one of those! Would definately make the morning drive easier to handle, and maybe I could get to work on time one of these days…
LOL, perfect ending to your post. Remember ” One of these days gaget one of these days. Reowwww!”
Ummm…yeah that’s what I was going for!
Oops my bad, well thank you for that nostalgic tune.
No prob! I just wish I was cool enough to have done that ending on purpose. I was trying to pretend…
You fooled me, so I will erase the part where you came clean just so no one else will find out.
Does everyone on this blog know eachother?
I need some major help! I am writing on this blog for a class, where i am investigating the use of the words fail, win, and the action asterisks ( ie *claps hands with glee* etc)
I have to print out evidence that i have posted on this blog, and that people have responded to me and acknowledged that i used the words correctly.
if this sounds totally lame that is because it is
*shakes head in dissapointment at professor*
so i’m sorry if you think my newbie-ness is obnoxious, but i will not be on here for long!
bloggers of failblog, rise and help me get an A please!
am i the only one who caught this but underneathe the story it say somthing about a cat and his rectum issues? lol i dont know about you but id like to know why that info is in the paper in the first place and how big was this cat?
Anyone else want to know about the kitten’s rectum?
I’d like to know what makes it so newsworthy.
Besides the sex appeal?
Rectum? Damn near killed ‘em!
Killed em?
Damn near filled em!… with rectal sauce
*takes off kitten suit*
It looks like the kitty has “Rectum Problems”.
(insert mandatory vicar joke here).
Kitty rectum – another instant classic!
(*squeeze*)
nothing’s seixier than pussy and ass
I didn’t type that out loud.
Forgive me, failblog gods
*admires HHNF’s typing*
you forgot my atrocious spelling skills!
purrrrr
*manscapes granny* I present… lion cut.
gad damn! *roars with flavour*
That’s some good mowing there, DrB.
I tried to scroll down, but it didn’t work.
On a cardboard cutout you have to raise and lower the cardboard.
*furrows brow*
*folds arms*
*wrinkles clothes*
Bah! You’re incorrugible.
Well, yeah
I just don’t wanna be recycled.
Morning Admiral!
.
He’s also inconcertinable
Thank you, DrB! A pleasant day to you, too.
*squeeze!*
I’d like to know about the unregistered vehicle, but then, that’s just me.
That’s not very ‘doggy’ of you
At I’m not the one with the rectum problem.
*least
I’d call it more of a fascination than a problem
i was wondering the same thing.
poo kitteh probably has got a wiener stuck in its butt
maybe it had trouble making pooptarts
*GAGS*
I WISH that term would disappear!
One of my fave quick b’fast food’s character has been besmirched.
S’mores PopTarts© are no longer on my shopping list, ever.
what kind of problem did the rectum have?
Yes! wtf?? Kitten has “rectum” what?? bizarre.
… and the time keeping on these events is so precise!
That’s what I was thinking! 3:18PM on the dot was when the kitty was found with rectum problems.
What’s that cardboard cutout of Anrie doing? If he keeps washing his genitals like that he’ll go all soggy!
Rumo(u)r has it there’s not that much to wash; might just make him damp.
That’s from all of the roids.
Haemoroids? All the more reason to wash
Oh my – who woulda thought? No wonder Preparation H is such a big seller!
And now with imitation bacon flavo[u]r!
He had it coming. Being in politics one gets used to dealing with inflamed assholes
Preparation H DOES feel good….on the ‘whole’
Don’t be alarmed, Arnold is just deep into studying his character for his upcoming movie “Kindergarded Cop 2″.
I always thought he was a ridged actor.
Now that’s thinking outside the box!
I heard his part got cut-out of that movie.
you beat me to it *hangs head in shame*
mwahahaha
*passes McFail the Mad Scientist white coat*
*hides*
Now cut that out!….. or tear along the perforations you decide
*Tears along perforations*
Hey, what am i supposed to do with a box full of potatoes?
Are you a vicar?
If they are the dehydrated kind; first add water, then give yourself an enema.
Starting small, that’s how the Vicar started with his potato fetish.
Would he/she like to be a Vicar?
Insert tab into slot “A”.
Understandable, cause he’s making most of California nervous too!
California uber alles
California uuuber alles. . .
Where is the following story going?!
O, the questions that linger in our minds while we are supposed to do something productive.
Why is my belly button lint always blue?
What ARE those marks on the floor?
Was Kant right or wrong?
Do blondes REALLY have more fun?
no
I disagree with the “Maxime deines Willens” part. I’d say it matters what you do, not what you want.
The thought police will get you just the same, AE.
How many raisins ARE in a box of Kellogg’s Raisin Bran©?
Mine’s always blue, but that’s mainly because I always wear blue shirts.
Mmm my blue shirts are cotton = no fluff. I have blue in my gym socks – sure the flea trail is unbroken all the way up…
Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
Not me!
What about the kitten on Shaw drive with some kind of rectum problem?..
WTF is that?
Nobody said it’s a problem.
But Arthur, the news article says ‘3:18pm – A kitten on Shaw Drive apparently has “rectum problems”.’
Maybe we should send a get well card that says ‘Maybe you should have waited until after Christmas…’
Are you sure the last word is ‘problems’? The word could end in ‘-blame’. But still, a card is the least we could do. Poor cat.
Yea, I’m pretty sure it says ‘problems’. People need to learn to keep their cats away from granny. It really is a shame.
here kitty kitty kitty heeeeeere kitty kitty
*hurries to lock her cats in the basement where granny can’t get them*
You’d think they’d have figggered it out by now.
And still, the poor, innocent cat suffers.
It was acting all slutty before!
Arthur, what did the nice sheriff tell you about drinking with the wildlife after Ms. Raccoon filed that complaint? Go lay down in the trailer, I’ll get you a bucket and some aspirin.
Ohhh WIN
Rectum, damn hear killed um.
^^^
Haha, reply fail!
I hope it washes its genitals regularly…
10th
Its so old its not even funny anymore.
To be 10th?
Umm…I hope that wasn’t said whimsically Mr Eld!
I had some kittens, but I rectum.
OMG!! Are people really THAT stupid?
If they weren’t, we wouldn’t have this website to comment on.
And this website is proof that stupidity manifests itself.
For instance: “first”
The “first” phenomenon is not exclusive to this site, nor did it originate here.
But people tend to say something like ‘20th’ when they can never get to say first without receiving too much ridicule,
I think you’ll find that that type of behavior is common in nearly every humor site.
That is why I try not to stray too far from the comforting embrace of Failblog.
I tried to stray from FAILblog.
Seriously, I tried. With every ounce of my being.
But no matter where I went, there it was.
I eventually surrendered and ate a sandwich.
Got anymore sandwiches?
Amazingly, yes – yes I do!
Any good ones? Or are they all BaconLube?
Mostly kitten rectum, but – let me check – yes, I do in fact have one (1) BaconLube™ left!
I’m boycotting Baconlube, since they do animal testing. A kitten on Shaw St. told me so.
I don’t know what I was thinking. Thanks for setting me straight.
It’s the least we can do, LEILA.
Myself, I ALWAYS try to do the least I can do, and my fellow FAILers seem to be right there with me
*studdies belly button lint*
Huh?
Why so blue?
Mine is just Kind of Blue.
Blue
Here is a shell for you
Inside you’ll hear a sigh
A foggy lullaby
Make sure you don’t get those lyrics tangled up.
Of course they are. Why do you think the story about the ghost behind the curtain in 3 men and a baby is still going around?
Ummm…. I don’t think it’s a ghost, but there sure is a kid by the window in one of the scenes. It’s more than a little creepy.
*Agrees with Avis*
*agrees with Marius agreeing with Avis*
Cardboard cutout of Ted Danson from a scene that was cut from the movie. The urban legend had it as a kid who died in the “house” they filmed in.
Only, all those interiors were a Toronto soundstage.
What the hell does the next article say. Kitten…rectal… O.O
I’m sorry, but the rectum story is more interesting than this Arnold cardboard.
I think most here agree. Lemme try something:
HEY SHAWN W! SHAAAAAAWN!!! WHAT’S WITH THE CAT’S RECTUM?
I guess that kitty needed to was it’s genitals a lil more often o.O
*h
Did YOU have something to do with the poor kitty’s rectum? You sick twisted freak!!!!!!!!
Are you jealous?
Does it sound like I am jealous?
…
Rectum is EXIT only.
Well, your smiley does look aroused…
Eeeeeew!!!! DAMN FAILBLOG…I wish they would allow editing ones comments. Okay, picture the comment WITHOUT the smiley. Are you friends with warpie or something?
To avoid further outbreaks of your jealousy I say no.
I will both maintain Leila’s disgust of me and defend myself simultaneously…
I like pussy, not pussy anal.
Do not worry about my outbreaks, tell the truth!!!!!
The truth is you cannot tidy a room. In every system entropy is always increasing. I wish I had known that when I was a kid.
Remember, entropy is our friend.
Except during outbreaks.
I don’t remember that in Ubik. Are you saying that I cleaned the house for nothing?
Perhaps it was somebody’s cardboard cut-out “boyfriend”? That would certainly make the parents nervous.
They didn’t mention the tube of baconlube that Arnie was holding…
You weren’t supposed to tell anyone that’s what I use the cutout for.
mr. cuddles I’m beginning to question your taste…
I taste like candy, I swear! Here, have a lick
did it hurt?
okay, I’ll stop.
*tastes mr. cuddles*
Cherry? That can’t be right…
A cardboard Ahnold, huh? Must have been Cyberdyne Systems Model 3…VERY early one.
What is a model 1 then?
A crayon drawing of a terminator.
Model 0 was just an X-ray of a tumor.
It’s NOT a tumah!!
The children were scared of the terminator *says in a deep manly accent*
It’s only understandable to call the coppers
Thanks for the “H” warpie
He’ll be Back.
Now, what about that kitten rectum!
Sweet Jesus
im excited
Excited over a cat rectum? *slowly backs away towards the door*
*slowly brings out his cat rectum slingshot*
Don’t take the cat flap! You might get stuck and if that wouldn’t encourage Arnold…
Granny will be waiting to pick up the pieces
Baconlube will help you get through the cat flap
and bacon lube!
Kitten rectum with Baconlube is a delicacy in Thailand
I just threw up a little.
I have a kittens rectum as a wedding ring.
Does your wife know about the girlfriend?
I’m not married anymore. She wanted divorce the moment I gave her the ring. Dunno why.
Gee, I can’t imagine why.
for all of you with “kitten rectum” obsessions today……
STOP IT!and and please take your medicines:
*offers cyanide capsules disguised as Prosac*
*bitch slaps KittenCurry* We will talk about kitten rectums all we want. Now
run along,scamper, go with god.Look at the time difference between the two! I believe Arnold had enough time to run from Hanson Street to Shaw drive in the time alloted……I bet he gave that kitty it’s rectal problems!!!
It’s quite a good tease. mentioning something about an Arnold Schwarz coutout and giving us a peek at the kitteh’s rectum…
What were the people supposed to learn in that ‘Learning Center’ on Hanson Street? Seeing in 3D?
It’s probably the Sweet Cheeks Home Daycare.
FIRST saying MUAHAHAHA!
PRO! Me old matie heave ho! What what?
Cat rectum brought you out of the …uh…woodwork, yes woodwork
I’ll be back.
Nah…keep going.
Don’t let the interwebs hit you on the way out.
This sounds like quite a town. First, police are called in to a cutout of Arnold, and then a mere 20 minutes later, a cat with rectum problems.
I blame warpie for the kitty’s rectum issues. HE DID IT!!!! Let the flogging begin.
LEILA your just blaming warpie to get the pressure off you and you know it!
Leila is jealous because I stole her boyfriend *ahem* i mean, Arnold cutout.
No…I gave him to you.
Did you also give me Herpes?
…
What… too low?
:: shaking head :: I don’t know what to say to you anymore. *sigh* Did Mamma drop you on the head as an infant? LOL
multiple times, I’m sure.
ehm…..well i was thinking about changing the subject but I say we let you two at it a lil more….hehe
HEY! I am not equipped to do anything rectally!! See? :: moons the entire fail blog community ::
Oh my!!
Cute behind, though, I must say!
Well, those leg lifts do wonders on the hiney …. know what I mean?
It also helps to take the stairs to the 10th floor. LOL
… and you wonder why I am such a perv *tsk tsk*
I don’t know what came over me. Please accept my most sincere apologies. I am ashamed…
…
I am going to my corner now……..
Just face backwards once you get there
and moon us while you’re at it; a nice bum is always nice
Don’t worry, there is plenty of kitty rectum to go around, you’ll get your fair share
all i want to know now that the cardboard man is out of the way… what HAPPENED TO THE KITTEH RECTUM?!?!???!??
the Govern-ate-her read the article
it had a TUMAH
I ARE THE MASTER!
Nope.
Just a poor, forlorn troll desirous of attention.
But hey, in the interest of tolerance and diversity…
IM THE MASTERTROLL MUAHAHA
DIE
cool, my philisophy
i mean philosophy
There was a young troll named pro
who’s mother was impregnated by a toe
his dad came on his shoe
and kicked her where she poo
and now we have pro don’t you know?
Me likey
Du kleines Verliererlein. Ärmlich, traurig, nutzlos.
Er ist ein trauriger kleiner Junge.
(Sorry, my German is really rusty.)
It was perfect!
*applauds*
And now Pro will once again stun us with his stupidity. Let’s watch.
I know Iknow. Sorry. WN started it!
DID NOT DID NOT!!!!
(well, maybe just a little…)
You are the instigator…always!
At least get a cool crown if you’re going to declare that.
I was just standing at the window. Now my dog is dead!
It was the mushrooms.
omg.. really scary.. HELP, IT’S ARNOLD !!!
Call me crazy, but I’m more concerned with what’s wrong with the kitten’s rectum in the next paragraph. You just can’t leave someone hanging like that!
A hanging rectum?
sounds like a pro-lapse in judgement to me
Isn’t it kinda strange that someone would A) buy a cardboard cut out of Arnold and B) have it facing the window? I find all of this very concerning.
It successfully distracted the cops from the illegal shipment of baconlube being loaded out of the back door…
Otherwise the police would have called TWAT, the Tactical Whup-ass Assassins Team to arrest the launderers. Then a celebration would ensue, with lots of Shanpagne.
Erm… Nope, thats all i had.
My god! It was the perfect plan! To avoid TWAT is…heroic at best!
Bloody assassins is right!
Also, this is much better then a cardboard cut-out that chants, “buy my book! Buy my book! Buy my book! Buy my book!”
Just putting that out there.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Morning Mr. Cuddles! How are you today?
Morning Malicite! Let’s just say I’m pulling out what’s left of my hair today. The weekend can’t come soon enough. How are you today?
Aww sorry to hear that Mr. Cuddles! *hands him a cherry cream cheese muffin*
This week has been a blur of business, but I am done after today!
Well, until next Monday, at least. I’m just counting the hours and minutes till freedom! That and I am hungry…and lunch is soon. You have off tomorrow?
I wish I had off tomorrow. I don’t have off until my trip in May.
At least you are going on a kickass trip!
I’m jealous of you already!
Hey, I told you to play hookie from work and come with me!
Weird. People are silly.
Why thank you, I do my best
Weird people are not silly! Interesting, perhaps, but not silly.
How can people still think there is a god when kittens have rectum problems?
Because that is what God does to kittehs when you masturbate (or argue with yourself…)
*snickers*
I think thats funnier
I also the thing Man has rectum bit is funny at the bottom
Nice work sherlock
Thanks. This time it was sheerluck, though.
Really great work! Excellent space! Happy day!
The trolls are attacking. Wait what am I scared about? Troll <3
Remington: In case of trolls, break glass
Did anyone else notice that the one below says that a kitten on some street has rectum problems?
No, nobody did yet. You’re really good at reading something thoroughly.
No.
Yeah I did.
Sorry, didn’t see this before I popsted down there like an idiot. You win.
Have a nice weekend, everybody! Bye!
You, too, Arthur!
whats up with all of the repeats? ? ? ? ?
3:18 Kitten has ‘rectum problems’?!
WHY WAS THIS NOT INCLUDED?!
*squeeze* Hey Hell! How have you been?
Good! And applying for a job in the police department of the city from whence this newspaper clipping came, haha!
So you’ll be able to get us all the juicy details on the poor kitten? SCORE!
I have a feeling he lives with an infamous vicar
*adjusts Fedora cap and taps cigar*
*is adjusted*
Are you serious? I am thinking, how do you go from welding to police department. LOL
I don’t know if I can stay with welding when these cops get to deal with such excitement! oh, and very easily. Pretty sure I can pass the fitness test this year, however they still tell me I have a ‘dangerous disregard of how the law deals with criminals’ WTF is that about?
Wanna grab a cup of java and talk it over? LOL I am of the opinion in the case where a man has raped a child he must be castrated. The law would possibly jail him and make sure his precious rights as ‘human’ has not been violated? Excuse me??????
I agree with you on that. I think Lorena Bobbit (sp?) made 2 mistakes: 1) she went back, and 2) she told the cops where she threw it.
Um…I think we are talking about different things here. I am talking about men raping children. Did Lorena’s husband rape children?
No, he just raped her. I’m just saying that they should use the Lorena Bobbit treatment on men who rape children. Sorry I wasn’t more clear.
Leila, you are now my bestest friend, whether you get a restraining order against me or not.
get out, ..get to the chopper now ..no …get to the learning center.
Or is it a center for kids who want to learn to read good and do other stuff good too?
Are we sure it’s not the Baby Dump?
That’s the Baby Gap…very close sir.
But are the kids small enough to fit inside the center?
Well of course only little kids go there. Big kids are too cool for that lol
“Learning Center” FAIL
Seems like more of a Failing Center.
Kitten story FAIL
Um yeah I am just wondering what happened at 3:18
So, even a cut out of Arnold drives his enemies before him and causes the lamentation of the women.
I read that as lamination of the women.
“A kitten on Shaw Drive apparently has ‘rectum problems’”
the best part is that that is seemingly the entire story there.
The director of The Learning Center is Sarah Connor.
Hopefully he “won’t be back!”
Oh Snap!
is that cut-out available to run for premier of ontario?
EEEETs NOT A TUUMOR!!!
I think that column must be interesting, because I laugh at the beginning of the article underneath.
“A kitten on Shaw street apparently has ‘rectum”–
Rectum what?
and then it cuts off.
It says “Rectum Problems”.
Probably assaulted by Richard Gere.
These are apparently written by an officer of the Rochester, NH police department. Check out more of his work at: http://www.fosters.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?category=FOSCOMMUNITY07.
I love subversive government employees.
5:05 a.m. — On Lafayette Street, a lady smacks an ashtray down on the floor and leaves by bicycle.
4:06 p.m. — Another disturbance lights up Lafayette Street.
11:47 p.m. — A citizen on Rochester Hill Road has been getting annoying calls, most of ‘em sexual. The victim supplies police with a call back number.
3:14 a.m. — An assault victim has made her way to Frisbie.
11:43 a.m. — On Blackwater Road, a “car stops and stares at the house,” several times.
Had to add that one, it was just too funny to me.
4:27 p.m. — An Amazon Campground man has got a letter telling him he has won a lottery in England. And yet … and yet … it may not be true. Police log it as a fraud.
9:27 p.m. — Pine Street music wins a complaint, but police find the volume isn’t too bad.
2:17 p.m. — Yap, yap, yap (and endlessly repeat) goes a dog on Franklin Street.
3:00 p.m. — A dog wandering on Hickey Street ends up at Dr. Moon’s. (The vet, not the dentist.)
11:13 a.m. — An older gent with a ponytail is parked by the Common. A caller thinks he is staring at people and could be a sex offender. In fact he is in town from Massachusetts to visit relatives, and is enjoying a cup of coffee. Welcome to Rochester, sir.
2:31 p.m. — Music cranks on Pine from where a warning was dished out. But when police check there is no noise, so this time they’ve no clout.
I guess that’s enough of them. Some are quite amusing – to me, anyway.
Booooooo! That is so old.
What about a cat’s anus?
So, what about the kitten with the “Rectal Problems” underneath? I think that is way more failable than, “How much is that Arnold in the window?”.
*In bad Arnold S. impersonation* Come with me if you want to live…
Reading that, and visualizing such a thing, just made me laugh so hard!
Ferget AWWNOLD..what about that poor kitten?
This is more of a win…..
Ed Hardy shirts
did anyone notice the next article is talking about a kitten with “rectum problems” lmao!
i like how under it says something about a cat rectum also.
I like the one below it…
LOL! And it was probably a cutout of him trying to explain how he’s NOT a lair and how prop 1A doesn’t raise your taxes for another 2 years! hehe
They shoulda shot it
Your tax dollars at work. It’s truly a shame that the police are generally discouraged from editorializing. They get to see the worst of the worst on a daily basis.
I want to know more about the cats rectum!
Forget about the cut out, I wanna know more about the kitty with rectal problems!
is it just me or should we maybe be more worried about the kitten on shaw drive…what about his rectum?!
Is the kitten ok!?!?!
I wnat to see where that next one is going
That’s awesome. It could have been worse, like a cutout of Hannibal Lecter.
Shawn W would you happen to have the rest of the article I would really like to know whats happened to that cat.
Nervous parents FAIL
not even kidding…. i live in harrison and ive been to that learning center and have seen that guy or what ever it is
lol FAIL the article says its in HANSON…not harrison…so you obviously FAIL
How do I comment?
i loled so much at this one
I am actually more concerned about the kitten on Shaw Drive that has apparent rectum problems than the Arnold cutout
I want to know about the kitten on Shaw with the “rectum problems”. Did he die?
“you’re under arrest mr cutout”
I don’t know what’s funnier- the circled part, or the cut off, unrelated story about a kittens rectum.
lolz DOUBLE FAIL the kitten that apparantly has “rectum problems” wtf…
Woah
that’s a win for schwartzy
what about the kitten with rectum problems?
the FAIL is that i cant see what the damn kitten had…. the pic cuts off after “rectum….. WHTA DID THE KITTEN HAVE!!!! OMGGGGG
I feel sorry for the cat on Shaw Drive that has rectum problems =(