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Cheezburger Network Blog
*looks around*
Who, me?
That’s why there were no firsters today. FRIST!!! today is a twat. Apparently.
No firsters… but there is a fister…
*tries to look inconspicuous*
“We can make him better than he was – better, stronger, fister.”
Oscar Goldman
“harder, better, stronger, fister”
Daft Punk.
shouldnt it be TWAPTCC?
Shut your twaptcc.
I saw a truck labeled “STD distributors” the other day but I didn’t have time to take a picture of it.
YOU FAIL CAUSE… YO MADRE ES EL HOMBRE… i just dissed me in spanish…
i can sleep at night now knowing you mother is a man =D
:gasps: hmmmm….
or TWAPT……
(thx Tweety Bird)
I don’t if to run away from those guys or run towards them yelling yay the TWAT team is here
Oh, and thank god Sam hasn’t shown up yet.
I kinda miss him/her on those Sam-less posts. (S)he always makes me smile.
That’s true. Although (s)he’s persistantly annoying, the ignorance in her replies is very funny.
Does non-seq still post here? Those were priceless, lol.
Non-seq occasionally comments here, but her comments are not as random as before.
Hmm, she must’ve started taking that medication we recommended.
Hello loz long time no see, how is everything? Bff why do you call out the troll by name, you know that it is like summoning demons.
Hello
things are stressful but ok, and it’s my birthday on Saturday!
How are things with you?
When did this become a chat room?? Jeez!!
1:01am
Good afternoon my favorite Moomin!
*squeeze*
Hello my favourite mr. cuddles!
*Squeeze*
I’ve been out getting muddy.
*starts to draw the bath for The Moomin* Don’t worry, I’ll wait outside the door, unless you need me to get your back
bunch of gay talkative bastards…
Things are going well its crunch time in school and I am quite worried about upcoming exams, though I am more anxious to get on with the summer vacation.
oh, ew I hate that word.
Don’t be a twat, twat is a lovely word.
Twats wrong with it?
The damns puns, for starters.
Damns it.
Damns you!
Jean-Claude Van-Damme!
You accidenty your ’s’.
Ye , I did.
IN THE BUTT
WTF?
weird thunderous females?
wild trigger finger?
They’re real twats, that’s for sure.
Moomin, I c*nt hear you!
Could you repeat twat please? I didn’t catch it.
Apparently “freedom of speech” does not encompass what I wanted to say.
Hey, my comment never posted either. Funnily enough I typed practically what you did, but with no asterisk.
Strange, a knob should be as good as a wink.
I much prefer knobs to winks. You can have a lot more fun with a knob.
You winker.
Thit wisn’t very nace.
What about twinks?
Hey Loz, are you catching up?
*SQUEEZE*
trying to! *SQUEEZES czuhc until he’s nothing but a pile of human mush*
czuhc? czuhc!?!
*pokes stick in much*
Ooh! It quivers!
Hey, someone, come help czuhc, quick!
There may still be time to save him!
The only way you could try to save him would be to pour him into a jelly mould and put him in the fridge. Not sayin’ it’ll work but give it a go for the craic.
CZUHC? :nudges mush wif foot:
CZUHC frind all broked? :bawls & sobs:
.
.
:carefully shapes mush to match CZUHC’s avatar:
:blows slowly as form inflates into humanish form:
:ties string to big toe of CZUHC balloon:
.
.
CZUHC! FREND! :giggles: You gots 3 arms! Sowwy!COMES PWAY! :pulls CZUHC happily along:
You may have an ear inf*cktion. Better get it checked!
I’ll go to the whorespittle immediately.
Damn you, ED! You stole my comment. (I tried to post w/out the asterisk, couldn’t do it)
You’re just being greedy anyway, Mookie! (I didn’t know we were being censored. I was just trying to be reasonably polite. Hmmmm.)
You’re not hearing well today? You must have an in infuction.
(*sigh* and by “in infuction” I mean “ear infuction” I KNEW I shouldn’t have tried posting before my first cup of coffee, dammit!)
And on top of THAT, I get a not-checking-to-make-sure-it-hasn’t-already-been-posted fail.
Getting attention win?
What a whore!
Run before he demands money!
*flees*
*Chases after Moomin*
Do you know what time it is?
*Ticks*
Hammertime?
It’s five minutes past hammertime. Sorry.
Right! Hammers down! Pass tests forward.
Too late. You all owe me money now. You paid attention to me. Don’t MAKE me have to go get my attention pimp!
Will he hit me with his rhythm stick?
Oh, he’ll hit you slowly, hit you quick alright.
2 fat persons will not nest.
LAWL
All those anti-pirate people are twats, how ironic that their acronym conveys this.
Shouldn’t it be TWAPT? Seems sorta fake.
*helps poo poo out of the twap* *washes hands*
Ssssssssh, I’m hunting wabbits
(G’morning)
Well I am grunting halibuts.
*scootches*
It’s me name, ya bloomin’ schmoo!
The real fail is that the acroym should be TWAPT anyway.
Double fail on top of that for what the hell is piracy theft? Stealing pirates?
Ahr! Ye shall not steal me pirates!
Grr! That’s why we bury our gold!
t-what? – (in an english accent)
i think there was a part in titanic where kate winslet is contemplating suicide off the boat in the beginning but leo starts talking to her about ice fishing and she says, “twat?… i know what ice fishing is!”
Some prince in Nigeria emailed me today. He says he can make me rich. I’m so excited. All the people in the world but he chose to email me.
do exactly what he says, cash the money gram, send him the money. You’ll be rich!
Thanks for the advice.
And my friends said it was a scam. pssh!!!
I need smarter friends.
Buy some new friends once you’re rich!
Where would I shop for those?
They’ll come to you.
If you build it they will come….lol
You could spend your money on dead people’s things.
You could pay people to stand with pickles in their mouths and a man covered in bread.
or bread in their mouths and a man covered with pickles.
I’m available
(good morning)
I was his friend first!
(morning all)
You said ‘first’! Troll!
(Morning!)
Whatever! Photoshopped…
(Having a good day?)
The pixels! And the shadows! PENIS!
(Yes, thank you. How’s your day?)
You failers think this is so funny. It’s not. There are serious issues around pirate stealing you know.
(It’s good thanks. I’m off out in a mo.)
NONE OF THESE COMMENTS ARE RELATED TO THE PIC!!!!! GET A LIFE YO LOSERS!!!!
)
(nooooo!
U R such a noob.
.
Italkshit.com
(Yes, sorry. FB will draw me back later.)
You’re all losers and ATTENTION WHORES!!
YES I AM and WHAT ARE YOUR?!
waits! that not is right!
Real_Longggggggggggggggggggggggggg_Lineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
`
`
HA HA HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!! BOGGY did its right?Pirate stealing? You go around kidnapping pirates?
I get good money for them on EBay.
so you’re my supplier
Its what they tattoo on your forehead if you get caught
what the hell? how did this get here? was supposed to be a new thread
That’s okay we will just roll with it.
.
Wouldn’t that make you exreme?
exacly!
Also, don’t ignore those emails about enlarging your member and winning free iphones. They’re all true.
I would want Sir John III any larger, then he’d get all…*clears throat* cocky. But I’m down for ipods. Some big breasted chick stole my nano.
Was her name “Mahboobeh”?
As is the transverse.
*whispers* Psst… can I share the cash with you?
Umm…sure.
*opens hand*
*is waiting for Mookie to spit in Arthur’s hand*
I’ll spit on your boots! Any good to you?
Mine or czuhc’s?
Who has the biggest boots?
You! Oh wait… ‘t’ not ‘b’. Sorry.
biggest toots?
*tootles melodiously on kazoo*
*nodes head eagerly*
hell yeah.
Are you rich yet? If so, I’ll be your new friend. :-p
no
Can I put your friendship on lay away?
Save it for a rainy day.
*squeeze*
TWAT
Tiny Women Aboard Transsexuals
how tiny are these women?
tINY enough to fit into trannies?
It’s been getting crowded on FB the last couple of weeks. Anyone else disturbed by that?
No, not at all. We here at Faiblog encourage newcomers. Except THE TROLLS.
thanks!
Hi, monica. Good to e-meet you.
(To BFF) Not really what I meant. It just takes me hours to get through the daily fails lately, and most of the comments are people who didn’t bother to read before they posted the same point that has already been made several times before.
This is usually the case. Here’s my tactic.
Skip, skip, read, read, wish I hadn’t read, skip.
*skips in, says something discgusting that jam wishes she hadn’t read*
*squeeze* *bends time and vanishes*
I love it when he does that!
*squeeze*
*retrieves extra ‘c’*
i like to read these. ever since the one about the ”name the groups ” russion child test last week. i was rofl-ing for hours.
so i’m welcome here then?
i just started reading the comments this week…
Welcome monica, but make sure you know how to use the “Repy to this Comment” button.
woops, i think i got it now……
No worries, it’s pretty hard to spot anyway.
"REPY"? BFF is silly, you goed to Japan & forgetted to brung you "L's" ??Ok, I have so say that:
WOLLT IHR DEN TOTALEN KRIEG (gegen Urheberrechtsverletzungen)?
These guys have some pretty long phone numbers.
Nesting fail, sorry.
*squeeze*
Hehehe!
Honest to God, I wish I could speak German.
I’m sure you heard that one. It was Goebbels in his infamous propaganda speech asking “Do you want Total War”. I added “against copyright infringement”.
Google is rubbish.
What did it tell you?
WANT YOU the TOTAL WAR (against copyright infringements)?
It didn’t tell me what the hell you were talking about.
Close…
I can’t read “Total War” (esp. in German) without being reminded about that. I’m sure many Germans have the same problem.
I can’t read “Goebbels” without thinking of “FOX News” or “The Daily Telegraph”.
I just can’t read. It’s pure luck as to whether these comments follow on from the ones before.
My father attended a funeral once. It was from the elderly mother of an acquaintance. The moment he stood in church at the head of the coffin to great the deceased, he noticed a cupper plate with her last name on it: “Schmitt”. In an unexplainable reflex he bowed his head vigorously and clicked his heels together, which sent this reverberating sound through the church. His friend, who stood right behind him, couldn’t stop laughing for the rest of the service.
I’m a fan of your stories.
Hehehe! Funny reflex! The Schmittclick…
did he get the schitt clicked out of him?
Ah yes, my stories. *rolls up sleeve, uncovering collection of scars*
Did I ever tell you about my encounter with this two-headed narwal?
@ GCF:
Yes, and the priest made him say 10 Our Fathers and 20 Heil H…. !
Yes. And I still don’t like the “greatest sex EVER” ending to that story.
3:13, not 3:16
SLIV !
(suppressing laughter in vain)
Its in the blowhole or nothing!
God I hate golfing with you.
Is this a violent splinter group of MUFF (Minor Uprising to Forestall Filching)?
which meaning of minor would you be refering to?
The lesser one.
its not yours its minor
Are we having a minor problem?
ok we can share this one
How can we both have minority ownership?
ok, ok sloppy second then
mebbe a sloppy minute
YAAARRRRRR! AVAST YE SCURVEY MICROSOFT!
Uh oh. You’re going to steal my pirates aren’t you? It’s happened before; my pirate was just standing there minding his own business on the poop deck, eating pooptarts with bacon lube. I’d better download the eye-patch for that.
You call that minding his own business? That’s only my favorite food!
Those were HIS pooptarts w/bacon lube! His mom gives those to him every morning for his ride into school on the school bus-bicycle- um, -ship thing.
He pedalos to work?
*skates past on a thin film of baconlube*
*tries to get out of the way, drops pooptarts. Cries.*
there there *consoles S,AW while stuffing pooptarts down trousers for later*
FAKE
*fakes*
Like that?
No, more like this – see? Put a little English on it.
Moomin and czuhc – I…umm… is ‘MySpace’ already a verb? I myspaced you!
I know, but you asked me a question (“guess how much…”) and I haven’t found the answer yet. Or did you Myspace something else I am missing?
tst
wtf, i`ve registered account on this stupid page, and i still cant post here comments under it …
maybe you didn’t pirate the right software yarrr!
TWAT? I thought that was The War Against Terror.
Yes, just behind bush, you’ll find TWAT ready to sort out the dicks
Richard Sorter?
That’s him, good old ’sticky’ dick sorter
That’s profiling!
I prefer to call it profiting
That doesn’t even rhyme…
hahahaha very good one.
You can do emergency calls too, if you see someone steall your files from your network through a computer. Just call
Come on, this is so clearly a win. Its obvious that TWAT is not a real group and the billboard was created by people who think the war on piracy is idiotic.
yep, you gotta be a twat to be against piracy
lol huge fail – people really don’t think things over before investing in huge signs…
thats a win for pirates!
Ed Hardy shirts
Yes, if you are one of those who anti-pirates, you’re a TWAT.
Total war LOL
What everyone else said…those people are f-ing twats!!
…as opposed to the good kind of twats…
…if that makes sense to anyone else…
What’s more fail, the acronym or the phone number?