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first1111
shamwow!
Now, why couldn’t you have posted that first? Then we’d respect you more.
Velvet you have failed us!
velvet is never a FAIL – sometimes she’s just a bit slower than other times.
j-troll, on the other hand, is a definite FAIL.
((smooch))
Hiya Ms V!
Yes hes a definate fail..
And Velvet is not a fail actually.. Just her internets.
Grab-assing on the internets are we?
Fail.
Sorry.
.
It’s very windy here today, which makes our network connections slow. So does a bird sitting on the line. And if you stare at it for too long.
And if you’re using Vista.
Thats not true.. My downloads are like 50kb faster than it was on XP
Not saying that vista isn’t a disaster.
Yeah – I almost wonder if Microsoft delibrately made it suck so we would rush out and buy Windows Seven.
*buys seven windows*
*constructs greenhouse*
*grows tropical plants*
*entices flies*
*entices spiders*
*looks at web*
No, this didn’t work either.
You went through a lot of pane for that.
i have Vista hom basic, and it sucks.
*defenestrates the failure*
You’re a glass act, Admiral, as always.
He sparkles with veritable transparency.
He can certainly come up with jokes without reframe.
he sparkles? VAMPIRE! KILL IT! KILL IT!
Hi
Sometimes I laugh harder at the comments made rather than at the fails. Moomin, I enjoyed this, but now everyone else in the office is looking at me and wondering why I’m laughing.
Welcome to the FAIL, Crinkly
Welcome to our hell. Don’t mind the weather, it’s pretty hot most every day but you’ll never freeze to death!
Aww, thank you!
Aww, thanks for the warm welcome!
yeah, just wear your sunscreen, especially on your back.
Thankyou
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Mikey, what are you doing?
Apparently they were losing money so they had to release a new OS for money bringing vista
7 Has been leaked too.
Personally Im waiting Midora I think it is called.. Its basically a whole new OS by Windows AND Linux….
I do believe that would qualify as rear-end-kicking.
Congrats on the avatar, RF!
Lol thanks. Lotta work over something so simple… It’s been one of those weeks.
No more sucker-footed alien?
…Dang.
Not leaked; it was a public beta. A leak implies that the release was unintended. Surprisingly, Seven is actually not bad, from what I’ve heard/seen.
No, no, no!!! They did it to inflate the price of windows XP lmao, price went from 150 -> 300 (home edition)
*stares at Avis*
It must be one of her friends…Avis is out of town.
(Welcome back from your exile.)
She flew the coop, did she?
I didn’t realize she was migratory.
Hard to tell them birds apart… *grabs binoculars*
Yeah, hopefully I’ll at least be able to make an occasional appearance again. Exile is pretty close to the truth – my company contracted me out within the corporation because they couldn’t afford me and I’ve been living out of a hotel since.
Bah! Sorry to hear that. I hope you are getting benefits, or at least keeping your health insurance covered.
*wonders how to get this back to birds*
Aflac!
ACK!!!
Well it’s been a flocking hassle with all the travel, and temporary help is destined to get pooped on. But, it’s keeping my nest egg intact and the flights have been relatively short. Today is my swan song here though, so I’ll finally be back at the roost tonight. My girlfriend has already warned me that I’m going to be… uhh… goosed, tonight. (*insert comments related to swallows here*)
At least she didn’t booby trap you.
*stork!*
She did not fail us, you depended on her to be your hero, little did you know that you can help us too by making a meaningful starting post. Just remember with great power comes great cliches, I mean responsibility.
Nah I think you’re pretty accurate thar.
173rd !!!!!!!!!!!!!! biatch
stay on topic people
Eat me
Am I gonna have to take away one of your eagles again??
I could *FOOOOOM!!* one or two of them, if you’d like.
*squeeze*
Careful, mr. cuddles! You’ll squeeze the *FOOOM!* right outta me!
Get a room!
oh sh*t….there’s a topic?!? oh the pressure to come up with meaningful, relevant chat now. eek!
No, that’s a cleaning WIN!
I agree. Finally babies have some use.
yea
Always trying to be first = Fail
I have this picture on my wall! And it’s a win, not a faill.
I agree actually.
I’d also like to know what’s on pages 1 through 133.
133 pages of devices and innovations which put children to work!
You should see what the lil’ booger can do with the motorized vacuum attachment(s)!
Nazi Bbq’s lemons that are perfect for orange juice a revolving door attacks a guy kids looking up a womans skirt in a ship (Was a win and was stated) a baby’s head in a pram
Gawd so many wins.
There was actually quite a lot of nazi related things actually.
Actually really, actually?
I have this book. It’s full of inventions that are specifically designed to be almost useful, but not quite, and are intended as a joke and aren’t supposed to be used. If they actually get patented or are actually useful, you get kicked out of the club.
Ya gotta love the caption!
Ya gonna love my nuts!
Bite your tongue!
Oh wait…someone already did that for you. Nevermind!
Ya gotta love the little moppet!
Ya gotta love the Muppets!
Ya shouldn’t have sex with puppets
If that moppet works too hard, he’ll get all sweepy and have to take a nap.
After he takes a nap, he gets behind on his work.
You must have interesting rooms ._.
Oh, yes. I have interesting collections of sayings and photos. Someone left me a sign on my desk while I was at lunch that says:
.
333
Only half evil.
.
HAHAHAHA! That went on the side of the cabinet.
Most Excellent!!
I used to have a framed 11×14 behind my desk – back when I had an actual career – that said “Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.”
First thing you’d see, eye level, when you walked into my office
Ooh! A new one to add to my collection! Thanks!
The main one you see in my office says “Be careful of the toes you step on today; they may connected to the butt you kiss tomorrow.”
You should see this wondeful demotivator site! (clicky)
Well, yeah
Been buying their stuff since practically the day they started. Just bought an executive polo shirt the other day
Hee! I’ve always wanted to get one of THESE and put it on my desk for when students come to visit me.
(Clickie my name.)
*chokes* Hee!
Perfect
woa… my teacher has that on top of a cabinet, sort of hard to see unless you really look for it… thought she made it herself… looks exactly like the pic… it’s a small world after all… sorry, i like to seprate all my ideas by (…)…
0100100001101001 hehe i love binary
By the way, how do you change your avatar? I’ve been trying for like three days, and I think I need a step-by-step.
go to gravatar.com and use the email address you’re using here. choose a picture for your avatar. then when you come back here, it should change.
mr. cuddles, you SQUEEZingly beat me!
*squeeze* sorry WN
Thanks guys!
lets test this bugger
hmm… it didn’t work. I set up my account and all… how do i get it to show up here?
You can leave your name as RushFan. The only thing that needs to match is the email address.
You may have to clear your cache for it to appear on your computer.
trying again…
Sometimes it seems to take a few minutes… dunno why…
Upside down triangle? I see it.
what is this cache? i must be missing something…
It’s working. Don’t worry about it.
ok it works now. thanks, i can sleep now.
Woohoo!
Go to gravatar.com and upload something. Be sure to use the same email address here. Clear your cache after you upload to gravatar.
*attempts desperately to delete ^^^ post*
totally win… i’d do this to my kids.
Another use for kids!!!
Another? What’s their first use?
Supplying topics for boring conversations.
So RushFan…how are the kids? Still, uh, in school…or whatever?
Actually, my son just placed 5th in his underwater basketweaving contest!
I love it when they do that.
Have you had him fitted for his ShamWow yet?
ShamWow diapers? Man…you wouldn’t have to change him for a week!
Definitely a WIN!
I completely agree
Cleaning win, yes.
Parenting Fail though.
Quite. Who would label that as a fail? The baby in the picture maybe?
god damn it
That’s right! It, God just sent you to Hell.
goodie
Where does the mop handle go?
Mookie! Shame on you!
hehehe…
Spare the rod and soil the child.
OOOOOOOOOF!!!!
Ok, those were my favorite socks…! Help me find them?
*crawls on all fours*
*looks under the bed*
*admires the view*
No tickling now!!! He’ll bang his head.
*follows you to the room with a view*
*climbs the bellrope into the four-poster*
Goodness. How did my sock get all the way here under these covers?
*climbs into bed*
I love the beautiful prospect up here. The hills and dales are so sensuous.
Are you feeling up to exploring the landscape, then…?
ROFL. You folks are killing me here!
.
You’ll be glad to note my co-workers think I’ve gone off the deep end yet again, suddenly giggling randomly for no apparent reason.
You should talk to a therapist.
Same place as the thermometer.
The ear?
Under the arm?
Under the tongue?
In a small case?
In the medicine cabinet?
Inside a hospital?
Inside a freezer?
A duck!
Verrrryyyy goooooddd!!!
Oooooh….
Sooooo…. if she weighs the same as a duck…… then…… ?????
Profit!
Help! Help! I’m being repressed!
*stretches RushFan back out* Better?
Thank you very much.
You are very welcome *squeeze*
I’m beginning to feel like an accordion…
Ahh, Mr. Lee’s alter ego, Giddy Lee, plays an accordion! He’s a wild man on stage with that thang!
Little known fact: Cygnus X-1 was originally written for 3 part accordion.
With kazoo accompaniment.
Sing us a ditty guys.
A Chopin ditty…
Inside a snow fort?
Do I need to draw a diagram?
Maybe…
It’s behind the baby’s head. The handle screws in to get into those tight corners and behind the fridge.
There is also a stepchild version for people that don’t like to clean the stairs.
*roffle*
I want my children to work for their keep! Way to go ShamKid!
Child labor win
fisrt?
NO!
Nope?
Pope?
Hope?
Rope?
Slope?
Cope?
Jackalope?
Cantaloupe?
*clicks fingers*
*carefully places canteloupe in front of czuhc*
*anesthetizes czuhc’s fingers*
? Call me dim but I don’t get it. I was referring to Cantaloupe Island.
Hi dim. I thought you were calling the waiter for more melon. I misread cantaloupe as canteloupe.
I feel a proper melon now.
Feeling a melon? Than you sure don’t have a hancock now!
then
now then, hello mr cigar.
*jangles jewellery*
I just had some spare anesthetic
*hands The Moomin some proper melons to throw off of Beachy Head*
And…
*SQUEEZE!*
Now, you are ripe for the weekend.
Those rockmelons will turn to mushmelons once he does that.
Soap?
Elope?
my wife’s a compleate dope?
How’s she at spelling?
proberly better than me
One can only hope.
Hey DW!
What??!?
Definitely a win
Japanese innovation at work!
How do you dip it in the bucket? Also, how do you squeeze the water out?
Only if you want to go to jail…
That is gonna smell.
You following me, Malicite?
I believe they have a slightly more rigorous attachment for jail cleaning.
Is it hydraulic?
Vince, you first.
Not sure if it’s hydraulic or not, but you oughta see those little guys spin at 1000 RPM!
No need to squeeze it out, just use frontal Huggies
This image will haunt me in my dreams! The child with the magotty growths!
Cute! look at all the baby flies!
When I first saw it, I wondered why the kid has pasta stuck all over him.
I thought it was a lion Halloween costume.
LOL!
It does bear some resemblance with the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
(You can use the bear to start a thread in response to cuddles’ lion)
or “to”
ramen
Nike?
WOW!!! i cant wait for mine to start crawling where do i get one?
absorbent-orphans.com
just the suit please i have enough with the one thanks
On top of your game, as always, Granny!
No, that’s a win.
That’s one way to bypass child labour rules.
On a more serious note: “Make children work for your keep”, lol… people should get children because they want them and not force them to work. If you’re doing that, you can better not get a child at all. Wait for children to move out of the house or when they’ve got an education (or dropped out). If else, feel free to persuade your children to work, but keep it an option. You chose to get a child, your child did not have such a choice, so it’s your responsibility to take care of them while they’re still living home and are still on school.
tl;ra (read anyway)
Wait wait wait…children -are- for work! Why else would you have them?
Another candidate for Humo(u)r 101.
Sign up now! The class is nearly full!
Is there a fee?
You must abandon all pride and you can’t graduate until you learn the most difficult lesson of all.
When you learn to laugh at yourself…then you may laugh at the rest of the world.
Humour reception FAIL.
Page 137 has the Cowardly Lion version of this outfit. So cute!
I like the toilet brush version
That’s even better than the Mary Poppins chimney flue outfit (with 30 foot cable attachment).
Great. Now I’m singing chim chimminey chim chimmeney chim chim cheroo…
Ouch.
Indeed.
But do you sound like Getty Lee when you do it?
Thank you.
*bangs head*
LOL! or how about the “central park horse-drawn cart” outfit, with cart attachment? NOt the speediest form of transport, but garanteed satisfaction
Almost as industrious as the “Lusty Lady XXX quarter video booth clean-up” outfit.
Talk about a baby earning their keep.
WRONG! But oh so funny
Bruno would agree.
I used to just get beat with soap, I miss the good old days
In a sock?
we all know why madonna is adopting all these children she’s making her own claning service
cleaning before any 1 starts
she just got rejected by the Malawian government for a second adoption, they are very efficient workers, and friendly too.
Hey, doesn’t she already have a Malawian mop … I mean child? What is she trying to say here, that our mops … uh, children … are NOT efficient workers or something, that she needs another one to take up the slack?
.
DENIED!
Pretty old photo. But still funny.
How old do you think that kid is now? Probably making a fortune!
HEY! to whichever total retard that sent this to failblog, it’s some joke that’s been around since 2008 YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH
You really shouldn’t talk about yourself like that, or your mother.
Haley vomit commet
Do you think she has turrets?
she was actually trying to say “what a wonderfully amusing picture! thank you failblog!”
Battlements, ant the very least
*takes back N*
in mother Rushfan N takes U
In UN mother takes T
I’m sorry, I meant UK
*hands RushFan a complete Grammar and Punctuation Repair Kit™*
There.
It’s Grammar Repair Man!
Haley Bop.
ok i admit it it was me am sorry please dont kill me am sure behind all that anger there is a realy nice haley who dosnt go around FB looking for somone to give a load of verbal
Looks like a WIN to me! Finally, tyhe rug rats have a purpose!
RT
http://www.anon-tools.cz.tc
shamwin.
Shamu.
that poor poor child – that kid does not look amused by all this.
Would you?
This is CHINDOGU– The Japanese art of silly inventions.
FAILBLOG is FAILING all over the place. NEW RULE: ONLY TRUE FAILS. NO MORE FALSE FAILS.
only you then
OUR RULE THAT’S BEEN IN EFFECT A LOT LONGER: ONLY FUNNY COMMENTS. NO MORE TROLL COMMENTS.
Here, here Cuddles!
*passes cigars all around*
But… YOUR comment isn’t funny, only argumentative…
Pardon me, but you have a little dogu on your chin.
brainllama has a kind chin….the kind of chin I’d like to hang my nuts off
Be nice to brainllama – he’s incredibly smart, ’cause he got a degree From Chin Dog U.!
He got it goin’ on.
Also he might spit brains at you that naughty llama
Had a friend once what decked a llama that did that to him
Guy was a serious biker, typical for the stereotype.
Llama never knew what hit him
Hopefully, that’s when you stopped being friends.
Nah; the llama deserved it
*ruminates on WN’s belief system*
THANK YOU! I am so tired of Chindogu showing up as fails! It’s right up there with things that deliberately look alike (like, homages and such) showing up on “totally looks like”
Dude.
Minority win!
This is a great idea! Get ‘em to start pulling their weight early in life. No more of this coddling them, letting them just sit around filling up diapers and sucking down Gerbers and chomping Zweibachs.
& if baby doesn’t want to cooperate with this little scheme, they could also make it with the mop heads on the back too. Then the parent could put a little harness on baby and pull him/her around the floor.
You seemed to confuse “win” with “fail” again.
Gives new meaning to the term ‘rugrats’ doesn’t it?
Aaaaaaaaaah! The tentacled monstrosity is Cthulhu’s lovechild.
*goes insane and flees by boat up the Miskatonic*
*watches The Moomin go by…*
*hops in kayak and meanders slowly downstream, looking for a wave to surf*
*watches WhoaNellie*
*ties rocks to legs*
*jumps off cliff*
*soars over The Moomin, WhoaNellie and wolfgangmunzerl2 in his hang-glider* Hmm, what’s going on down there?
*floats downstream on an inflatable dartboard*
*sees scannerdan pass by*
Brilliant Marketing!
*Buoyant Force too weak to make me float*
Oh dear…
*surfs HUUUUUUGE wave, looks up as mr. cuddles flies by, high-fives scannerdan as he goes over wave, tosses flowers into wolfgangmunzerl2’s watery grave*
WHEW!
That was intense. I need a drink now!
hehehe… it’s a LOT of fun, and I miss it greatly.
*hands mr. cuddles a shot o’ 1800*
I was assuming you clickied VVV down there when you said “intense”…
*zooms past in pedalo, screaming for the damn thing to stop*
Do you often surf in kayaks?
What do you call riding a wave in a Kayak if not “surfing”?
egg beater goat boating
I prefer “kay-urfing.”
It sounds like your just threw up your lunch.
or you’re getting ready to…
Yeah, sorry about the mess Cuddles…let’s see if this thing really works.
*sets child-shammy down in pool of vomit*
Whitewater kayaking includes wave surfing/playing.
Clickie
U-boating?
Not lately; used to live in Portland, and it was every weekend all year.
U?
Baraquaman does it, so I see no problem in that!
haha i kinda like this idea! It’s about time infants start helping out around the house
“Make your children work for thier keep”
Excellent slogn!
*slogan
“Yes, it’s cute, but what does it do?”
Has anyone really ever thought that about their kid?
eats sleeps and fills nappys and oh yeah crys and yeah all the time
Think of the children has become overrated
finally a use for crawling
This is a win. Finally, a use for babies!
Damn Asains are efficient!!
Or if you don’t want your child crawling around you can put them on a carpeted floor. Friction FTW.
good!!!!!! he will clean all the floor!!
As a mother of a baby who just started crawling and getting the filth of my floor on all her clothes no matter how much I clean it, I actually think this is a brilliant idea.
Yes, it’s a great idea. Now if they would just make it for pets… and husbands…
*eyes Crabby’s name*
… and drunk people passed out on the floor from last nights party …
.
Ooooh, they could make house slippers out of this stuff, so the act of walking around the house cleans it!
.
*runs to patent office, wishing he’d kept his stupid keyboard shut*
Ohh, its perfect! is a good idea… ^^
Fail? I think this is totally awesome!
how do you change your avitare
gravatar.com
Did anyone notice the caption under the picture? “Make your children earn their keep.”
That is AWESOME.
Yeah, um….. I’m pretty sure this is a WIN.
This isn’t a true fail. It’s from a Chindogu book — a collection of fake inventions that are “almost useless”. It’s not a real product.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chind%C5%8Dgu
http://www.chindogu.com/
For me that is a win. I we need one of these. xD
Does anyone actually comment on the pictures, or is it just an excuse to make a thread??!@?!!onE!!!!
*furzt*
Why haven’t you commented on the picture?
*snork*
Why haven’t you commented on the picture? (2)
Why is this a FAIL? Nothing wrong with child labor. I mean, after you birth them you must put the to work right away. Otherwise they will wait for you to feed and clothe them … the nerve!!!!
Is the asian baby included?
God / God’s do not exist! Religion is violating our freedom!
Oh, and the tooth fairy is made up too!
Athiests unite under typical spelling error!
Being forced to learn the religion of atheism is violating our freedom.
I have the book that this is in, this is actually a Japanese art called “Chindogu”. They make inventions with a practical purpose, but must also have some type of flaw that makes them either far too inconvenient or just absurd to handle or use.
The other “inventions” in the books are also quite funny, but the products must never be marketed or sold, as it would no longer qualify as a “Chindogu”.
i really dont see the problem here… whats wrong with mexican children cleaning the floor??
This isn’t a fail cos it’s actually a joke in the first place, it’s from a Japanese guy who makes crazy inventions that are designed to be useless.
child exploitation Win!
So, the fail here is that it isn’t real? Also, I think it needs matching mittens and booties.
I fail to see this as anything but a monumental win. Now you need a twinkie on a string to get that baby moving faster.
I believe this is a Chindogu, not a real marketed product. Still pretty funny, though.
hahah how gross!! this is worst than the chindogu’s on upallnite.tv!!
Looks more like a win to me.
read the first line in bold “make your child work for their keep”
I have 2 toddlers, and I think this is a win.
Best idea ever win.
I got the book that came from. It’s a joke
** Handle sold separately.
First post Fail.
if I buy a set of 5 fo rmy quintuples do I get a discount?
this is such an obvious win
Hey that’s my kid!
so totally a win
i guess the point was to get a soft place for the baby… not to clean the floor x.x
Ha! The first time I ever saw this was in the book “101 Japanese Unuseless Inventions” or something along those lines. There’s quite a few more fails in that book along with this one.
Did anyone else think the bady was covered in spaghetti at first?
I don’t know, looks like a win to me.
Chinese labour just hit a new low
this is a goddamn win!!
hahaha, i like it
Total win! Might as well have them doing something useful while they’re crawling around.
I think this should be a WIN!
adult sizes plx?
This isn’t a fail. It is a page from one of the books about “unuseless inventions”, or chindongu, a humor concept in Japan. The idea is to come up with ideas that are interesting but don’t-quite-work. Any ideas which are found to actually have commercial market potential are immediately stricken from Chindongu status.
Search Amazon for “101 unuseless japanese inventions” to see more such ideas… You could fill 6 months worth of Failblog just with the contents of this book.
WIN!!!!
thats a win in my book, child labor and the kid plays at the same time.
This is an obvious WIN. If that stupid shirt tag was a win then this is for sure a WIN. If its your wife’s job to do your laundry then its can be your kid’s job to clean the floor.
Aha! The unuseless book of japanese inventions! There’s some amazing stuff in there xD
yeah, this is clearly a win.
That came from a book of joke inventions. It’s not real.
Fail fail.
Only men could be able to come up with this kind of idea.
Make your child WORK for their keep! Child labor win!
This is taken from a book of inventions that are meant to be fail. Kinda loses the natural fail quality when that was the intention, I think.
aint that a win?
ha i have this book
Exactly why is this a fail? Seems like a handy thing.
It’s definitely a win.
so, is this the japanese version of a Roomba?
Child labor win.
Ed Hardy shirts
This is so lame, it’s from a made-up book of Japanese inventions that’s been around for about 20 years
Heres the best i can do for what the text at the bottom says
it just amplifies the fail
“After the birth of a child there’s always the temptation to say “yes, its cute, but what can it do?” Until recently that answer was simply “be there and cry” but now babies can be put on the payroll, so to speak, almost as soon as they’re born.
Just dress your young one in Baby Mops and let him or her down on any wood or floor that needs cleaning. You may at first need to get things started by calling to the infant from across the room, but pretty soon they’ll be doing it all by themselves.
There’s no child exploitation involved. The kid is doing what he does best anyway. Crawling! But with Baby Mops he’s also learning responsibility and a healthy work ethic.
LMAO
I own this book. Definitely a win.
WIN!!!!!
THIS IS AWESOME -
WIn in my book
6666 VOTES!! RIGHT NAO!!!
WTF make your baby work for its keep? what ever happened to child labor laws XD
So this is what babies are for!
I’m calling this a win
sweet design
not a fail…epic WIN!!!
Notice how it says “Make your child work for their keep” lol!