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They stole the guys crap to make food! Ew!
just like McDonalds!
Is it another way of saying it’s chocolate flavored?
Just the newest attempt at a copycat brand.
Did anyone else notice the price on the chocolate milk?
$100?!
That seems reasonable for a business selling pooptarts.
And cup cheese.
Notice the MM Juice! Doesn’t that sound delicious?
Minute maid makes sense though.
mmmm… juice
LOL yes i found that a tad worse, pooptarts are just mild
compared to whats in those cups…
did any one notice that everything is classified under “drinks” and what is m m juice??
If you bit into a pooptart wouldn’t you be willing to buy milk for $100 to wash the taste out?
i dont think so, i think they’re just british and write with an accent
haha try to say pooptarts out loud without giggling…. you can’t do it!
Hee!
*squeeze*
You could play ’sausages’ with it. In ’sausages’, you have to answer every question with the word sausages. Pooptarts as a response would be far funnier!
(52.6 wpm, 1 mistake)
ahhh someone got 145WPM yesterday! crazy
Woah! How on earth?
I don’t know, and I don’t wana know!….and I’m going to find out!
Is it possible to use a speech-to-type program and cheat?
umm anythings possible! but I don’t know, those things always suck when I use them, so probably not. 145WPM isn’t too far fetched. People can get over 200.
200!!! Good googa-mooga!
I can get to 200 wpm. M means month though.
I got 303wpm
But I was making the words up as I went along.
Singer and typist, wow.
Hehehe!
A very talented moomin.
Apparently there’s a different key setup the lets you type faster, the Dvorak keyboard. The current world record is held on this type of keyboard. Clickie to see its layout. (its a wikipedia page so its safe).
You forgot the clicky silly.
Morning McFail! *SQUEEZE*
Bonjour! *SQUEEZE*
oops you are correct here it is.
My best time is 85 WPM 0 errors, I’m aiming for 100, it’s a sad goal but a goal none the less.
Self improvement isn’t sad. I’m always hoping to do better with my typing. Am WAY behind you though.
…and robots?
89.2, for me. That’s my first time trying, pretty fun. My nails are a bit long now, though.
I don’t think I can do any better than that, though.
*SQUEEZE* Morning Mookie!
Cuddles! *squeeze* How ya’ been?
I’ve been very good, but even better now!
How have you been?
Up to my old tricks.
Too long – now? Rank my typing makes fingernails grow?
Yep. Between that and the hairy palms, I’m looking positively werewolfish.
84.8 for me. I think that’s my best so far.
Holy fast typer Mr. Cuddles…
Mookie has 89.8 ^. I’ve taken typing classes before and had a software when I was growing up.
*replaces .8 with .2*
Both of you are masters of quick fingers…
*SQUEEZE* How are you today?
*SQUEEZE* I am recovering well! The sun is out and it seems like it will be warm today! Ahhh! Spring! *needs more coffee though*
And you?
Very excited for the warm weather today, but I wish I was still in bed instead of at work.
Warm weather?!!? Man, I’m still dealing with a sh*t pile of snow where I live
*SQUEEZE* At least it will be warm soon! Have faith and patience!
*SQUEEZE* Late Spring and the Summer here will hopefully be good this year. *sips on latte to distract herself from the fact her car is buried by several feet of snow that drifted into her driveway*
*SQUEEZE* That sucks, McFail. We got a foot of snow a couple days ago but now it’s all melted away. Yay!
56.2wpm. <_< Pretty good for someone of my age though, personally. at least i wsnt typin lyk dis all thuh wai thru it. …Augh, I broke my brain. -_-
Lolspeak claims another victim. When will kids learn? “Just Say No!”
♪ pooptarts…
Nope. No giggling.
…LIAR!
New Flavor.
Would I lie to you?
ah did it
Who doesn’t like pooptarts?!
This is no fail, I love me some pooptarts.
I see the pooptarts..but I’m more concerned about the M M Juice….wtf is that?!
‘Mm juice’ sounds nice though, not to sure about the cup of cheese though.
What is MM Juice? Not M&M, I hope?
I’m on the hard stuff, I drink S&M juice.
Tabasco and vodka consumed through the nose, I presume?
In the ear. I’m hardcore
I prefer injections directly into the fontanelle. Fast results!
Had to look that up.
On whose head do you do that?
Hey baby!
Hey darling!
Hey!
Hey baby, hey baby, hey!
Hey Ho, let’s go!
…and by ‘Ho’ I’m NOT trying to say anything!
Hi ho, hi ho.
I know!
*sings a song, says baby approximately a squillion times*
MKy own, of course! Why waste time? You know we Germans like efficency.
And by MKy I mean my.
Have you a very advanced vocabulary for your age?
The decrease due to my age isn’t that fast, if you mean that.
Nooo. Was making a play on a baby speaking as eloquently and with as wide a vocabulary in a second language as you do.
Thank you! Do you speak anything else than English? I bet you’re good at learning languages.
I’m hopeless at languages. I spent French class chatting up the lass sat next to me.
I know a smattering of random phrases and that’s it.
Strange. People who are good at copying accents are usually also good at learning new languages. Well, you’re a special case in many (positive) ways…
I took Italian for 7 years and can barely speak a word of it…
Thankyou! *squeeze* You’ll always be my special ankle buddy
Really? I did not know that. But, does it apply to people that impersonate accents, even when there’s no other person of that accent around? I only slip into accents if there’s someone with that accent there.
But you didn’t give up? Impressive! My GF lived in Italy for two years. I have to say, it really turns me on when I hear her speak Italian. But then again, it’s the same when she speaks German…
Your heads wired for maths like mine though isn’t it mr. cuddles?
I find that it is easier to learn a language when you are in love with your professor. But maybe that advice is not helpful for everyone.
*squeeze*
Hi mr. cuddles. I took 7 years of Spanish, but that was 25 years ago. Now I can’t remember much of it.
Moomin, I guess that means you’d have to live somewhere for some time. Two years in Italy and Ciao, Moominello!
I took German for a year and French for 7 and I still only know a few phrases.
Ich habe drei Brüder
Ich bin dreizehn jahre alt…no wait… I was!
Avez vous un plan de la ville?
Oh believe me Mookie, my Italian professor was hot. And when we had verbal 1-on-1 exams, he used to get right in my face. I think he was coming on to me.
Good morning Sidhe! How’s my bosom buddy? *SQUEEZE*
A friend from way back now lives in Paris, and when we go out I’m constantly astounded and impressed by how this lad I used to run around the kitchen table getting dizzy with can speak so fluently in French, it’s incredible to me. When we went to a restaurant once, the only word I picked up on from the waiter was custard
I am a disgrace at languages and I know it.
Ich bin ein berliner
Meh- I’m okay. Just been cattin’ around. I can’t wait until I go on vacation for my birthday. Then I’ll really be yowling.
Swedish really turns me on. A wonderful word (in my opinion) in Swedish is “älskling”, which means “darling, beloved”.
I wish someone would say “älskling” to me. (I say it to my daughter, though)
Just btw: “Berliner” is also something similar to a donut (with filling).
How are you czuhc, älskling? *hugs*
I need glasses now! I thought Czuhc was assking someone for asslicking.
@Moomin: I’m also a cameleon when it comes to accents, especially english accents. Scottish, Irish, RP, American, Australian,…you name it, it comes without any effort.
I…but…
…I mean, what…? 
@ Mookie:
*sniffs armpit, blows in boot twice*
@czuhc: you could well be proving Arthur Eld’s point because you’re good at languages aren’t you?
Good old JFK. I learnt that from Eddie Izzard. Hahahaha. I learn more language from here and at random then from class.
@Arthur: Yup
Good to know czuhc. Irish accents make me melt
I concur with Mr. Cuddles.
*SQUEEZE* Morning Jam!
Afternoon cuddles!?!
*cuddles mr. cuddles*
*tiptoes in*
*squeezy squeeze*
Have a good Wednesday.
Wish me luck. I have to fight my way through the protestors.
Yay! You came and found it.
You have my best wishes with you jam.
Come back to us safely.
*squeeeeeeeeeeeeze*
I came, I saw, I squeezed.
*SQUEEZE*
Heeheeheeheehee!
There’ll be a welcome back squeeze waiting for you on Thursday.
Thank you sweety.
Get yourself away home lad!
You’re more than welcome.
Can’t! Trapped by roadworks! Bloody engineers.
grumblegrumblegrumble.
Rather be in the office with music and FB tidying desk than trapped in car.
Fair do! You can catch up on all that work you’ve missed.
I gotsta go now though. Have yourself a good Wednesday too.
*squeezey smackers*
And just when I was beginning to like you!
Take care and have a good wednesday.
*smackersy squeeze*
Arthur, you haven’t got one…have you?
Err… What “one”?
A fontanelle. Maybe you have, what do I know?
I think we all have one. Except if that word has a double meaning that I’m not aware of. Then it depends whether it’s good or bad.
They close up don’t they?
Yes. But I think the spot on the head is still called like that. I’m not sure though.
Well I have a soft spot for y’all on this FailBlog.
How are you anyway Mr. Eld?
Awww… *squeeze*
Very well, thankyou. Apart from financial stuff there’s nothing to complain about. Or not much, at least. I reckon you’re feeling good too?
Are you spying on me?
I’m working and almost finished these stupid recordings. Woohoo!
Not while you’re working. Say, where did you get your bathroom mirror? I like it!
Which bathroom? HA!
The one with the shower, of course.
Technically, there are 2 with showers. The one you mean came from Ikea!
You’re living in luxury!
*notes “install second cam” to self*
This is why I have no money. HAHA!
*notes: Search and destroy Arthur’s cam*
You would disappoint many people. And destroy my main source of income. Could you really do something like that?
*SQUEEZE*
*notes: Hack into Arthur’s computer and steal footage for own pleasure*
*is really concerned that Arthur is not fibbing*
Footage of me in the shower is not something people with low tolerance thresholds should view.
I’m afraid people with low tolerance thresholds are hard to find in these parts.
*notes: replace footage on Arthur’s computer with stock film of The Showering Gentlemen*
*notes: must use the downstairs bathroom from now on*
Hehehehe…
*hacks into arthur’s computer*
Now, what do we have he-
OH MY GOD AAAAH!!! MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!!!!!
*runs out of room*
I told you! Not for the faint of heart BFF.
He was in the wrong file. BFF, that’s what a man and a woman do when they’re in love. Or when they’re horny. Nothing to worry.
Pssssssssst, jam. It was The Showering Gentlemen BFF saw.
I’m not convinced!
By “not for the faint of heart”, you mean it’s too exciting for people to cope with right?
Err… yes… yes, that’s what I mean.
*whistles*
*pulls up a chair in front of Arthur’s computer* Anyone have any popcorn?
mr. cuddles is so good looking he can pull chairs
MNM you say?
*coughMinuteMaidcough*
*Offers Sidhe Cat some MMmmmmmmmmtastytastytasty juice for her cough*
Oooh! *slurp slurp*
It’s tasty, too! Is it vetamitavegamin?
(Either I failed regarding your response, or you failed with mine.
I would have bet that you knew what I was referencing.)
*pats Sidhe on back*
I read that as “puts” Sidhe on back. *snork*
Damn! Where is my mind, huh? Ha!
Hoo-boy! I’m just a communication failure today!!! Thank God I’m on FB, huh?
I’m like that every day. Don’t worry about it.
We can start a bad comms gang.
You are no failure ED, and I didn’t say it^ was a bad thing. Naughty maybe, but not bad.
(Actually, I really need new glasses.)
I did wonder whether to tell him you weren’t bothered about it! Hee!
Hee hee!
*squeeze*
Cut it out. You’re making me blush.
You flirt, you!
Just having some fun.
Well, the sun’s about to rise, and I’ve got to either take a quick nap or Carp this Dime!
See you all later!
Bye!
When I hear Minute Maid I always think about a pink ICBM, with some stars drawn on it. Maybe also a smiling Minnie Mouse.
(Note: “Minute Man” is or was an US ICBM.)
*imagines a Minute Maid of Honor*
Though it is a shame I couldn’t fit the word though in more though.
it actually says “cup cheese” – different from cup *of* cheese, mayhaps.
it does – and you’ve used an extra ’s’ mayhap?
Whats fail about this?
Its my daily breakfast .. Yummy, pooptarts
^Apostrophe deficiency.
Happens on a steady diet of pooptarts.
CHC-$100?!!
…hang on, why are “pooptarts” drinks?
Do you really want us to explain? Think carefully.
I hadn’t noticed the classifiction.
*a
I have to admit that for this stuff, I like more “classifiction”.
Yeah. I should have left it to see where it might take the thread….
I do too, but some might call it classaffliction.
Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, imho.
*thinks too carefully*
Oh good god!
*turns green and rushes out of room*
I’d say anyone who has ever tasted a toaster pastry would realize that this is not a fail.
Well Poptarts do taste like pooptarts so I can see how they can get them confused.
I’m quite disturbed that you know what pooptarts taste like.
Ranch Cup Cheese?!
Eeyugh. I’ll be extra careful not to land myself in the bukkit anytime soon.
*fills the bukkit with RCC and pooptarts*
Oooh. Thanks for the errr… “encouragement” there, BFF.
Nope. Not falling in that bukkit!
A steady hand drew that.
With pooptarts on the menu, I afraid to ask where the choclate milk comes from.
*I’m*
Didn’t you know? Chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
and white milk comes from bulls regardless of color.
Hello all, I’m a french boy.
What the french word for Pooptarts? I don’t understand.
Tartes de merde according to Google!
mmmmm… Scheißekuchen….
That’s bad isn’t it?
Not if you’re a fly. Otherwise – yes.
Ooh, where does this comment go?
Or in Japanese, くそタルト。
Or in Geordie, shite kyek!
*coughPoptarts-toasterpastriescough*
Dang! I need to see the doctor with this cough of mine today.
I’m not sure if this comment is really helpful for Durden…
*snork*
Um… no, I guess not.
@Durden: “pooptarts” is a play on the word PopTarts. Poptarts are pastries you put in a toster, like bread, and they have (very little) fruit filling in them.
*sigh. –> toAster^.
What shity sign. (looks around to see all who is in attendance).
That’s why I’m thinkink, but not sure. Thanks Jam
any Brits? it’s better spelt as tootparps
I’m British and I have no clue what you’re talking about.
live a little then
I beg your pardon?
lol if you meant that pun, it is a funny reply
I’m not and I also have no clue. Did that help?
Tooting and parping both mean farting. So a tootparp is a fartfart.
tyvm!
Err… Doesn’t Popeye the Sailor say/make “Toot Toot”?
It’s all the spinach. . .
Olive Oil is a very tolerant person. Or olfactory disadvantaged.
It’s that or a scary man with a beard.
Are you trying to say “parping the hooter, or tooter?”
lol both are funny she cat
Tootparps?
I dont get it?
At first glance I thought they were charging 85 euros for the pooptarts, but now I realize it was only 85 cents.
‘Course, at 85 euros for a pooptart, $100 for CHC milk starts to sound reasonable.
Hehe yeh,
Pooptarts are not in the season hence the low price.
When exactly is pooptart season?
November to January.
Ahhh, that busy, festive, holiday season…of pooptarts!
Now I know why I have always been glad when the season is over.
Yeah those darned pooptarts.
Theres nothing more refreshing in the morning than a tall glass of ranch!
How are you, man?
I am fine why thank you.
Good, still gainfully employed thankfully…….I took my aggression out on a random hobo rather than my family. It was the most fun I have ever had.
Did you steal his crap?
Congrats! I hope you just voiced your aggression but didn’t do anything?
………………………………………………………….. sure.
Typical of Britans.
A. The word is “Britons”
B. We do not randomly lash out at homeless people.
You carefully choose?
BTW – don’t reply to that sorry little thing. It’s not worth it.
Shove it.
You should follow your own advice.
Coming from britain, i’d say the Dasani was the fail
Poop tarts – Kellogg’s alternative to bran muffins
Bran muffins – God’s alternative to pure trash.
Pooptarts; I bet they go good with a tall glass of milf.
You meant milk, Right?
Please for the sake of humanity, Tell me you meant milk!
Milf milk? Ewww…
Sorry, it was a typo. I meant to say that I felt sorry for myself because I had no pooptarts until I met a man who….no, sorry. That was the last fail.
Pooptarts probably do go good with milk though. I can drink milk even though I’m lack-toes intolerant. I just won’t put up with people that have no toes. Until I met a man who had no feet…then I took his crap AND his pooptarts. And gave his car a toe.
Too.. Many… Word… Games…
Brain… Exploding…
Don’t worry; you’ll get used to it. Mine exploded years ago, as you can probably tell. Made my life much simpler. (Made ME much simpler too!)
Hahahahaha.
*applauds*
*stands*
*claps*
*bows*
*leaves stage*
*Snipes Sparky as he is leaving the stage*
*sneaks up behind Closet and breaks his neck* *slips back into the dark*
*takes out kalashnikov, sprays Closet with bullets and hurls body into river*
Hello regular failers, I just wanted to say that my drowned cat died of pulmonary edema and hypothermia in the veterinary yesterday.
I’m sorry to hear that Zurack
*SQUEEZE to help cheer you up*
I’m so happy for you.
When did that beveled button turn blue?!
My condolences.
You have to speak in high language now dont you?
Consider the little one’s among us.
My condolences as well, Zurack.
I’m so sorry to hear that Zurack.
*squeeze*
Losing a beloved pet is hard. You have my sympathies.
Oh noooo! Aww, I’m so sorry Zurack.
*pat pat pat*
Sorry to hear that!
Big deal, You can adopt cats for free in the US.
Lucky Closet is fortunate enough never to have lost anything/anyone special to him.
Now run along and play on the spine road like a good boy!
My girlfriend died, Both grandparents from mother side.
And Im playing the spine road as we speak.
In that case don’t mock!
Its too deep in my character.
Didn’t I punch you on the nose the other day, you annoying piece of dung? You want some more? Come and get it!!!
*takes of shirt, strikes Wushu pose*
You kind of did,
Im still bleeding.
I am so, so sorry for you, Zurack, as I am a cat lover as well. Heck, here in Tokyo we have about 30 cats. Yes, thirty, that was not a typo.
In Tokyo? You haven’t eaten any yet?
Very sorry to hear that, Zurack.
I’m sorry, Zurack. My sympathies.
I am more worried that you can buy a cup of cheese!!!
Or a ranch *Confused*
I bet its a Mexican shop.
That’s WAY too expensive for poop tarts.
What is the going rate?
I remember on those hot summer days playing baseball as a kid… I always got a case of cup cheese. It was so embarrassing.
*turns green and runs for the bathroom*
Your ‘partner’ is waitting for you in the bathroom?
Enjoy *wink*
*projectile vomits all over Closet* There, I feel a little bit better. Back to work.
HAHAHAHA! Impeccable timing!
You could just say ‘Perfect timing’, You know.
That’s right, we forgot you don’t really understand big words. Silly us.
I have no idea why I should have to do that. Could you give me just one good reason?
To not make me spend hours searching for that dusty dictionary.
How about yu get a little more educated and you won’t sound like such a dumb ass!
As tempting as it sounds, I’ll pass.
being from the tartan country i have no idea what the hell cup cheese is can someone please explain????
is it like the spray can of cheese i have heard about?
Wow, a poop tart and some MM Juice sounds real interesting!
RT
http://www.anonymity.us.tc
Ah the infamous pooptarts.
Seen those in my school’s cafeteria menu. Turns out it didn’t exist and it was the class clown doing his daily duties screwing things up.
It was funny, though. This is a rather excellent fail. XD
However POPTARTS existed. They tasted like cardboard. *sad face*
Aw Poptarts.
Bad memories.
sad face, indeed.
$100! This better be the best chocolate milk in the world. *takes a sip* You got lucky.
Just a thought, what have you been eating if you actually poop tarts?
Prostitutes?
more like “fan fail”
i sure wish they sold poopsicles there too.
I’m not cleaning that toaster!
lol…. why are pooptarts, ranch, and “cup cheese” on the drink menu
what about the $100 milk chocolate?! sounds abit much to me
has anyone mentioned the “cooling fan directional fail”?
This is a double FAIL because the “cents” sign is before the 85, not after like it should be.
ummm…. DO NOT WANT!
Double fail… it was under drinks
why is it under drinks??
This is total fail! Not only the fan, the poop, the expensive CHC milk, but the BOTLE water. And what the heck is a BOOSTER, and why is it first?
M&M Juice?!
Milk “chick”?!
Ranch cups of cheese?!
The entire menu is pretty ridiculous.
The Health department’s gonna love this one!
Did anyone else notice the “Cup Cheese”?
LOL pooptarts! that made me laugh so hard!
oh, and why are you guys talking about WPM? And how do you test yourself, do you just get out a timer or something? tell me, i wanna try!!
There seems to be CHC on the menu, is this a spelling mistake for THC? In which case, I hope this isn’t an elementary school cafeteria.
Pooptart is a drink? Yuk! I would drink cup-cheese or even ranch but I have to draw the line somewhere.
#61
sounds – nice…
2 fails pooptarts under drinks
Lol, Double fail, it says drinks and they *TRIED* to spell poptart correctly, right under the Drinks section
i think they’re british and write wit an accent. XD
Pooptarts…… reminds me of Beavis and Butthead.
POOP!