Did anyone notice that the Shamwow guy was arrested this weekend for punching a prostitute in the face? Apparently she “bit his tongue” so he roughed her up.
(Clickie)
There are so many places to go with this…
Is anyone particularly surprised he was with a prostitute?
No?
I didn’t think so. He reminds me of that slimy guy at the bar (every bar has at least one) who just oozes slime out of every pore. Ick. Just ick.
Well no, I was thinking more of the frat-boy douchebag. The type that wears an upside-down visor. The polo-shirt with the “popped” collar, and the hair that looks careless but takes about an hour to get that look. This type of guy also usually wears too much bad “cologne”, and thinks he’s god’s gift to women. Of course, he’s never had a woman actually experience an orgasm in his presence, except maybe by accident, or coincidence.
*wipes the foam away from mouth as teeth unsharpen and eyes turn back from red*
I really don’t appreciate when people use my sexual orientation as a way to make jabs at me. Just because I’m a ‘mo doesn’t mean I can’t kick someone’s ass.
I also don’t like when people mess with people I care about. You’ve defintely proven yourself willdog
King, it looks like you finally found your inner troll…a couple of days ago you were acting all nice and friendly, and everyone was talking about how un-trollish you were. Now just look at you…way to step up your game.
*looks at his knuckles, is happy to see that six years of wushu practice – though fifteen years in the past- have left their scars*
*prepares for one last round, for old times sake*
And it doesn’t matter if he brings the subject up again. He’s shown himself to be a homophobic, self-aggrandizing, ignorant asshole with a massive inferiority complex.
Or, to quote my good friend McFail since I could not have said it better myself, this guy is a “huge dick”.
I like this site, but you people always comment on things that have nothing to do with chistmas, i dont get it why dont you talk about the topic at at hand?
Well, as a former professional lead guitarist, I can say that I’ve had similar things happen, although I wasn’t guitar synching When you’re playing very loud and seriously into the music, and something touches you, it can be VERY jarring.
So there
Once upon a time, long ago and far away, as her fourth birthday neared, my three year old cousin asked her daddy for the following: a lemon poo, a beet-baw, an’ a hoo-hoo. Uncle surmised that a lemon poo was in fact a swimming pool. A beet-baw was a beachball. But until Auntie translated, he did not know that a hoo-hoo was in fact, a hula hoop. Correct, you are: A Hoo Hoo is not a Who Who!
*starts packing bags* *looks paranoid* Um guys, I’m going to have to go for a little bit. If any of fluffy’s friends come looking for me, tell them…I don’t know, tell them anything. I’ll be back when the coast is clear.
*Gets on cell phone* Ahh, hello, is this mr.cuddle’s fish. Yes? Ok, umm, well, hes hideing, and I know where. BUT, your gona have to pay me. Yes. hmm. 30 grand? NO? WHAT? Fine, then look for mr. cuddles on your own. *hangs up*
Man! I drove all the way through the burning forest – ignoring the sign and all, with nothing to drink safe some Turkish water – to deliver your crap and that’s how you thank me?
* takes burning crap, mounts his scooter, lays his genitals in the saddle cutout and drives off*
But you screwed up royal! The box you’re hiding under to video me getting caught in the “skwerl trap” is actually the real trap, whereas the “skwerl trap” is just full of Somoas for everyone else to share! Sooo, Ha HA!
Bod actually left on the 28th February at the earliest, which means he’s only been gone a month at most
It was on the loaded bridge fail that he announced it, and that was the 27th. (Yes, I remember these things and went to check the date)
Well, I am about to go have a late tea, but that’s about it. Hahaha.
*squeeze*
Hopefully the next twwo months will fly by, then DrB will be back as well.
See you tomorrow mr. cuddles.
L@w, als je een lange FB carrière ambieert, wees dan wat terughoudend met je first-comments, die worden hier niet echt gewaardeerd.
Deze gouden raad werd je gratis aangeboden door czuhc.
I like the way he tries to play it off after. The way he looks around to see if anyone “caught” him. I’m not sure which is funnier, that or the way he screams like a little school girl.
Oddly enough, I did that to someone just this morning! I walked up behind someone and said “How’s it going?” and he jumped and screamed like a little girl almost exactly like that. It was quite the luls!
For her birthday you can get your Mom a “Winning Lottery Ticket” !
(last weeks numbers on this weeks ticket) Don’t forget to video her
reaction and mail it into “America’s Funniest Home Videos”
that happened to me too. I submitted the 911 fail about “eucalyptus street” mine didn’t get picke dup, but a month later someone else got the same one on here.
I was wondering, the lady looks a hell of a lot like a friend of mine from CA. And that is not only something she would do, but with the hopes of getting a girly screech.
amazing! you have such a unique name but there was just a “Konfeksiyon Firmaları” that posted! perhaps you both can meet with “Twisted” and share a donkey?
Ahaha, funny. I understand why people lip synch though. Sometimes you just want a break, but you gotta keep the people happy. Ah, the life of an entertainer.
We would really miss your comments. Of course, on the bright side, you’d save a ton of cash traveling “baggage”. Thanks for putting our interests above your own, Avis!
Can we drop the stupid failblog bike clip from the beginning of *every* video? It is incredibly annoying. I’ll probably stop watching the videos because of it.
ZOMG. This makes THREE viral videos Filip Kirkorov has been in, each one different in genre and setting.
#1 – him rudely lashing out on a female journalist during a press conference. That one circulated in Russia only and in pre-Youtube days, but made him really infamous for a while.
What was with all the fighting in the comments? (kinda lame that I even read them all) It’s Fail Blog, not Myspace… If your looking for arguments, that is truly the place you need to go. Now, please, do us all a favor, and grow up a bit.
Yeah, it’s Philipp Kirkorov.
He’s russian “king of pop” like Michael Jackson, but alive and unable to dance and sing… :\
You can see the full version of this song on YouTube here: http://ru.youtube.com/watch?v=uS0QfNrsD-o
Hey Kids! What time is it?
It depends.
too vague
Did anyone notice that the Shamwow guy was arrested this weekend for punching a prostitute in the face? Apparently she “bit his tongue” so he roughed her up.
(Clickie)
There are so many places to go with this…
Wait, what?
Oh dear.
I saw that on TMZ.com
They showed what the prostitute looked like with 2 black eyes.
Apparently ShamWows are NOT good for cleaning up assault and battery…
He probably won’t get charged with anything…but good god…
I mean convicted…
It said they were both arrested, but prosecutors dropped the case.
Maybe they cleaned up the blood? I know of a prostitute that’s about to own an empire…a ShamWow empire that is
Hi, it’s Vince with Shamwow! When I punch a hooker, her blood doesn’t drip, doesn’t dry!
You following me, camera guy?
Just place it on the blood spot, press and you’ll say shamWOW! Are you getting this camera guy?
I think you mean ShamWOws are not good for cleaning up ShamOws.
Awful puns FTW!
OMGWTFBBQ
ShamYow!
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0327092sham1.html
Shamwoopass!!!?
He’s also the SlapChop guy…
“You’re gonna slap your troubles away.”
I think it didn’t work out very well for him.
Is anyone particularly surprised he was with a prostitute?
No?
I didn’t think so. He reminds me of that slimy guy at the bar (every bar has at least one) who just oozes slime out of every pore. Ick. Just ick.
You mean a lounge lizard?
Like Leisure Suit Larry?
Only a LOT less funny.
Exactly.
Light skin, light blue eyes, a double-chin and a plastic smile?
Well no, I was thinking more of the frat-boy douchebag. The type that wears an upside-down visor. The polo-shirt with the “popped” collar, and the hair that looks careless but takes about an hour to get that look. This type of guy also usually wears too much bad “cologne”, and thinks he’s god’s gift to women. Of course, he’s never had a woman actually experience an orgasm in his presence, except maybe by accident, or coincidence.
Little Gottis?
I am unfamiliar with that one.
Clickity.
I’ll leave the judgment up to you Avis.
Yeah. Like that. Luckily, I’m not anorexic with a boob job, so I don’t have to worry about too many of them bugging me.
Can I just ask what this has to do with FailBlog?
1:04pm EST
too literal
what you really want me to say “Howdy Doody Time!!” ?? really, I loked my answer
well, i liked it, not loked it…
I spiked it, not smoked it…
Should have smoked it…Hickory or Mesquite.
Oh! Little wooden boy!
Spoon!
you did ask the question
so he must give an answer
Really?
That’s the rule?
Why?
Are you going to answer all of these questions?
Are you?
Yes.
Without a doubt.
Because it is in my code of honor.
Aren’t I answering them now?
Yes I will, and now I have.
Good day, Sir Skwerlly Bob!
*discovers newly found deep respect for wolfgangmunzerl2*
Was it between the sofa cushions? Cuz I looked all over for it.
Those aren’t sofa cushions!
I knew he was pulling those answers out of his ass!
*snork*
Now nobody can question his alimentary retention.
Chalk up another win for the rectal database.
I didn’t the find the questions or the answers very intestine.
I’m sure he finds that very galling.
It nearly rectum.
Whew! Is someone wearing a new colon?
*pinches nose and waves hand under it*
HUH?
too ignorant
Hey, Skwerlly! Did I just see your picture on Loldogs?
Tool time?
great answer, best so far
but not the correct one
Stool time then? (see below)
sit on it
Skwerlly Bob Time?
TAA DAAA!
Ladies and Gentlemens! We has gots us a winner!
Wow, I feel so honored!
You should!
Join me, bow, swear your loyalty to me,
we shall conquer something and be cool!
No, my subjects! Bow to your King, not this rodent!
No b*tchass, I bow to the skwerl, now bugger off.
Shut up, gay boy.
Oh no he didn’t. Someone hold my sh*t. I’m going to kick the sh*t out of this f*cking bastard once and for all.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen mr. cuddles like this before. Other than that time I insulted Avis when I first started commenting here…
*wipes the foam away from mouth as teeth unsharpen and eyes turn back from red*
I really don’t appreciate when people use my sexual orientation as a way to make jabs at me. Just because I’m a ‘mo doesn’t mean I can’t kick someone’s ass.
I also don’t like when people mess with people I care about. You’ve defintely proven yourself willdog
Oh no, Cuddles. You’ve just let that sorry twit know what button to push. Can’t say I blame you, though.
I’ll hold your stuff for you! Or would you rather I hold HIM down while you kick him?
I’ll just be your cheerleader…okay?
*waves pom poms*
Video!
In your dreams!
Too late!
*hurries to post on youtube*
You SURE you want to do that?
Hee! Fear not Dragon, your files are safe with me.
Don’t listen to them, willdog!
Ahem.
*looks to the left*
*looks to the right*
*looks up*
*looks down*
Nope, sorry. No kings here.
Well I can’t be on the right or left, but I am above and below you.
You may be, but you’re certainly no king.
I look and all I see is a troll
With massive delusions of grandeur.
The make medications for this sort of thing.
Ahh. . . a false creation, proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain.
Too far KT. Just leave.
Sorry, I just have no patience for sick and twisted people.
You’re really not welcome here and we have no patience for you. And as far as all of us see, you’re the only one who is sick and twisted.
Dude, given your behavior as of late, I find it hard to believe that you can deal with yourself. Grow up.
Coming from the guy who’d rather look at other guys’ dicks than boobs.
Ok you, normally I don’t go on the attack but you are being a huge dick. Please leave.
Sorry, I won’t bring that topic up again. I am clearly outnumbered here.
King, it looks like you finally found your inner troll…a couple of days ago you were acting all nice and friendly, and everyone was talking about how un-trollish you were. Now just look at you…way to step up your game.
Thanks, I’ve been practicing.
*looks at his knuckles, is happy to see that six years of wushu practice – though fifteen years in the past- have left their scars*
*prepares for one last round, for old times sake*
you are a dick. go f yourself
And it doesn’t matter if he brings the subject up again. He’s shown himself to be a homophobic, self-aggrandizing, ignorant asshole with a massive inferiority complex.
Or, to quote my good friend McFail since I could not have said it better myself, this guy is a “huge dick”.
I wrote something (less eloquent and much shorter) along the same lines much earlier. I’m nearly certain the comment was deleted.
I do tend to be verbose when I’m incensed.
Oh, and…
*POUNCE!!!!!*
TUMBLESMOOCH!!!
.
Even though I was too busy to post today, I wanted to give mr. cuddles some support. We got your back, mr. cuddles!
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Dayum, I’m glad you’re back! I missed you.
And yes…mr. cuddles is one of us. You mess with him, you mess with all of us.
My workload probably won’t clear until later in the week. Until then, I’ll be on emergency jerk-repellent duty.
I’ll be sure to let you know if your services are needed!
*smooch*
Thank you loyal
predicate, verbsubject!We shall amass a righteous army and
vanquish King Troll and his minion(s)
to the forever stinky pits of FailBOG;
their rightful place.
BOGGY sound the trumpets, ring the bells,
a Troll awaits his just fate!!
too Tim Allen
I don’t know, Mr. Cuddles. Looks like our tool has come out into the thread above.
Game Time.
stoopid lame assed gamer wastoid!
And he’s ugly too.
[I DIDN'T WANT TO MENTION IT}
It’s time for House.
*plops down in the La-Z-Boy*
Ummm, what channel?
*snatches the remote*
Time to have girl scout cookies and squeeze the skwerl?
As long as it’s in private… no videos, riiiight?
I promise, no videos. *SQUEEZE*
*new video gets more hits than previous one*
“Squeeze the skwerl” eh? I’ve never heard it called that before.
I made no such promise *sets up camera*
*sets up lighting*
Hammer time?
*Steals Hammer*
*goes marching off looking to smash willdog’s video hat*
AHHHH!!!! Bad Skwerll, bad Skwerll, stay away from me!
*Snatches and Pounds willdog’s Nice Hat into a Felt Placemat*
*video of Hat Smashing makes You Tube’s TOP TEN List*
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
6:36 p.m. GMT-3
hammer time?
42?
I like this site, but you people always comment on things that have nothing to do with chistmas, i dont get it why dont you talk about the topic at at hand?
Boo! Did I scare you?
*screams like a girl*
*continues to lip synch*
*tries to look natural*
Well, as a former professional lead guitarist, I can say that I’ve had similar things happen, although I wasn’t guitar synching
When you’re playing very loud and seriously into the music, and something touches you, it can be VERY jarring.
So there
I understand, but he should have stayed with the concept and bitten her head off or something along that line.
” I’m the artiiiisst supreeeme !” anyone ?
“JUDGMENT ON GOTHAM”, you Philistines!
Is Batman here yet?
Alas, I have no sound here at work, so it’s hard for me to tell.
But I’d certainly have preferred his biting her head off
WN aren’t lead guitars really really heavy?
That’s why I’ve always preferred titanium
But yeah, I played very heavy rock.
Was it lead, titanium or rock? I’m confused.
It was a mix of all three, with a large dose of metal thrown in.
It is a more obscure version of the game, so it’s easy to be confused.
Rock dents lead.
Titanium cuts rock.
Lead poisons titanium.
OMG. He understands!!!
NOooooooooooooo!!!
Has anyone seen TS20 lately???
*writes “Sean” down in “Book of Promising Newbies”*
*wears ridiculous shirt and thinks he’s so cool in his mind*
*writes “Twisted” down in “Book of NOT So Promising Newbies”*
But Avis, that’s no fair! You’ve had a lifetime of practice!
*cowers in the corener* no! I’m not scared! *still has face covered*
Call the coroner!
The coroner is in the corener!
Well, tell him to pull his knob out of there. He’s got business.
NO! Of course not!
{yeah actually you did, but don’t tell anyone, OK?}
*posts video of Skwerlly getting scared on You Tube*
*millions of hits*
Damn You!
Caught by your freakin’ hidden HAT CAM again!
*watches and laughs*
{Do we make any money off of this video? Anything?}
Boo!
boo who?
No need to cry, it’s only a joke.
I know all the bad jokes.
lol, nah. that’s a good one
Please don’t go into detail
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Who!
Who who?
i didn’t know you spoke owl!
I actually walked into a table and hurt my hoo-ha. I was making sure it was still there.
Hahahahahahahaha.
That is a brilliant response.
Hats off to you mr. cuddles.
*stops lip syncing long enough to squeeze the Moomin*
*moves back towards microphone*
*falls off stage*
*appears in a cloud of smoke*
*catches*
*talks without moving lips*
Ta-daa, no-one expects The Moomin
*Squeezes DW and stands her up*
*scoots off*
Whew!
*continues “singing”*
a Hoo Hoo isn’t a Who Who!
Once upon a time, long ago and far away, as her fourth birthday neared, my three year old cousin asked her daddy for the following: a lemon poo, a beet-baw, an’ a hoo-hoo. Uncle surmised that a lemon poo was in fact a swimming pool. A beet-baw was a beachball. But until Auntie translated, he did not know that a hoo-hoo was in fact, a hula hoop. Correct, you are: A Hoo Hoo is not a Who Who!
Let’s pick this up where we left off…
Who who?
i didn’t know you spoke owl! MWAhhahahha *laughs maniachly*
Hahahahahaha, this is funnier than the jokes
mwahaha!!!
Gee! Cuddles, I didn’t know you spoke owl!
Crap! Too late again!
The owls are not what they seem.
I am sorry. I ment to be on time whith your crap delivery, but traffic was a bitch. Again.
Next time I’ll just have you fax it over!
These guys are QUICK!
I’m sure you can scoop some out of the singer’s pants.
They sell holy crap in the Vatican gift shop.
Next to the christmas candles.
mwhahahahhahahah!!!!!
How about this one?
Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, “You drive, I’ll man the guns.”
lol
I think my fish are plotting against me…
Well, that surely does explain why they were at the cemetery choosing a grave site.
And taking out an insurance policy.
and chiseling tomorrow’s date onto a stone
labeled “CUDDLES Beloved Former OWNER”
*starts packing bags* *looks paranoid* Um guys, I’m going to have to go for a little bit. If any of fluffy’s friends come looking for me, tell them…I don’t know, tell them anything. I’ll be back when the coast is clear.
*takes memo*
….on the back of the clear roller coaster.
Got it!
*looks at muddy coastal water*
*CRIES*
It’ll never clear up, mr. cuddles will never be back!
I’m really hiding your your tree until your crazy fish disappear. *hides back under Skwerlly Bob’s bed.
*replaces the first ‘your’ for an ‘in’*
*replaces third ‘your’ with ‘my’* Someone get me the bukkit please.
I think you need to make some more adjustments.
Whoops, for an ‘*’. *reaches for a few bukkits*
*tosses mr. cuddles various grammar corrections*
It ain’t easy being grammatically correct when you’re terrified.
O, you’re done now. I think. *passes bukkit*
All these corrections certainly help make it easier to get to 300 comments.
Yeah really, ease up on those comments.
Sorry guys, it’s the fear of the crazy fish and the rage from dealing with the “king”’s comments.
Kings come and go but the blog lives forever.
*gives mr. cuddles another hot chocolate*
It’s ok buddy.
*SQUEEZES everyone*
Thanks guys!
*SQUEEZES mr. cuddles back, just for good measure*
*Gets on cell phone* Ahh, hello, is this mr.cuddle’s fish. Yes? Ok, umm, well, hes hideing, and I know where. BUT, your gona have to pay me. Yes. hmm. 30 grand? NO? WHAT? Fine, then look for mr. cuddles on your own. *hangs up*
*snork*
*inserts a … after the “Ahh, hello, is this mr.cuddle’s fish.” and the “30 grand?”
You need a lot more corrections than that Paca
Dont worry mr. cuddles. I wasn’t going to sell you out. I was going to take the 30k and run. You were never in any danger there.
Thank you Paco! *SQUEEZE*
Gaaaa! Would all of you pleeease
GET OUT FROM UNDER MY BED!
*#$@% grumbles and wanders of to
the den to finish watching HOUSE*
*munches fresh popcorn*
Where’s the popcorn?
*whistles*
*looks innocently up at the ceiling*
*wipes butter on mr. cuddles’ pants*
*pops Unwanted House Guests Size bag of Buttered Popcorn*
*entire tree house fills full of popped popcorn and overflows out of windows and doors*
*takes handful of popcorn and hides it under his hat*
Who’s there?
*shakes fist*
*SQUEEZE*
Those pesky kids, ringing your doorbell and running away… watch you don’t stamp on the flaming bag.
And tell them to STAY OFF MY LAWN!!!!
Tank!
Tank who?
You’re welcome.
Hahaha
*snorkity!*
MY JOKE!
QUIT ANSWERING MY JOKES!
*Grumbles & Kicks Flaming Bag off of Door Step*
CRAP! czuhc !!! Your deliveries are too late and
the invoice specifically says Do Not Light on FIRE!
Man! I drove all the way through the burning forest – ignoring the sign and all, with nothing to drink safe some Turkish water – to deliver your crap and that’s how you thank me?
* takes burning crap, mounts his scooter, lays his genitals in the saddle cutout and drives off*
god damn it, who is there!!?
Girl scouts selling cookies…
Girl scouts selling cookies, who?
Just open the damn door already!
What?
*takes all the boxes of samoas*
*hides under skwerll trap*
Anyone know why willdog is caught in the skwerl trap?
Anyone have a key for it?
Anyone want some of these Samoas?
Anyone know why willdog is crying?
I meant I hid the samoas under the skwerll trap.
But you screwed up royal! The box you’re hiding under to video me getting caught in the “skwerl trap” is actually the real trap, whereas the “skwerl trap” is just full of Somoas for everyone else to share! Sooo, Ha HA!
FREE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES EVERYONE!
Bob for President!
Bob for Supreme Emperor!!
Bob for baby daddy!!!
“Baby Mommy”??
Curious minds want to know!
You got me…I don’t have the required ‘part’.
*wanders into thread* Hey guys what’s u… Wait wait, ho boy, I should really look where I’m going *runs away*
*chases McFail*
*giggles somewhat hysterically and chases The Moomin*
Does this mean you want to make baby Moomins with me!?!
Nope. I was thinking more along the lines of baby impressionist paintings, but I’m easy.
Sorry, didn’t see you posting there – I meant to reply to The Moomin
Well, Moople needs a friend, and I like the name McMin.
Plus DrB is away. . .
… well you talked me into it with the DrB being away
*grabs a bowl of popcorn and takes a seat* Don’t mind me, carry on.
*sets up hat cam*
*to self – I’ll have to try that line more often*
Well, you know, I had to come out of his shadow sometime and you’re the only one for me McFail.
Where’s WN with the lighting?
*begins playing generic sounding jazz music*
*ponders a new business being born*
*hauls lighting over from other part of thread*
I’d like to announce that there will be no baby moomins being created as McFail is behind a plant with mr. cuddles.
*runs off crying*
*runs after Moomin* Poor Moomin, here have a *squeeze*
This is like Bod all over again
The only difference is Bod is my type and McFail is your type. Go get her!
I miss my Bod
I miss Bod too, he’s great. Wonder how he’s doing in Germany? Still ages till he’s back.
I thought he was only gone for 3 months, and that started back in January! I’m going to have to fly to Germany to hunt him down!
Hahahahaha. I think we’ve lost both of them now.
*SQUEEZE* At least we still have each other Moomin!
Sit down mr. cuddles, I’ve got some bad news for you.
Uh oh, I don’t like the sound of this…
Bod actually left on the 28th February at the earliest, which means he’s only been gone a month at most
It was on the loaded bridge fail that he announced it, and that was the 27th. (Yes, I remember these things and went to check the date)
I thought you were going to tell me you were leaving too! You almost gave me a heart attack Moomin! *SQUEEZE* Hopefully the next 2 months will fly by.
Well, I am about to go have a late tea, but that’s about it. Hahaha.
*squeeze*
Hopefully the next twwo months will fly by, then DrB will be back as well.
See you tomorrow mr. cuddles.
Wwhy wwould you wwind up having such a late tea, Moomin?
Doing silly things like lifting greasy MG engines and posting photos of derelict buildings. Someone’s got to do it ED.
Uh oh. If he’s late, there may be a companion for the Moople after all.
Room for one more? *Raises the questioning eyebrow. (Like there is any other)*.
I’m sure it’s usually just one bun per oven.
Be nice, they’re just little girls!
)
(and they have cookies!
You like little girls?
Aunt you gland I didn’t say Grandma’…
Or glad. Whichever.
I am very gland you didn’t say that.
I knew it!
I demand an exspleenation!
Very well. I shall de-liver
I’ll pineal one off the stack for you.
It’s too early to drink that much. Just go boweling instead.
I got one, I got one! Apples.
Ugh, I can’t do it.
But I’d bladder do sumthing which involves alcohol
If I place the order with the bartender, will you brain our drinks over when they’re ready?
I hope it doesn’t take lung – I could use a drink.
I order this combo broken!
My head is in stomach pain, I think a drink it the only thing to fix it right now.
*is spine on mr. cuddles to figure out his favourite drink*
*mr. cuddles ears the bartender coming with his Absolut & Sprite*
I don’t think I made myself clear.
*eyes the bartender and makes note*
*mr. cuddles wishes he nose McFail’s favorite drink to order her one as well*
*nose the bartender has been hinting I should leave*
Have a heart, troll, or we’re just gonna start ignoring you.
A little toe slow my man!
*shakes fist again*
I got sick of the “king”’s lip, so I’ve already started ignoring him.
Admit it, you still read my posts.
It’s just easier that way (amaretto sour by the by – it’s very tasty)
*orders up an amaretto sour for the lovely lady hiding behind the plant*
mr. cuddles, he is a bit vein, I must admit.
“takes away Mr cuddles and several other’s drinks and starts to jugular them*
Care to join me behind said plant – it’s very cozy back here.
damnation
That sounds painful…
Hell’s Belles
*grabs margarita as it goes around*
*joins McFail behind the plant* It is cozy back here, go finger. (That’s going to come across so bad, but it’s all I got)
Grabs one last drink for the road. I gotta leave, what fast food should I get?
BK?
I was thinking that, maybe those Burger Shots.
Just don’t tell Dragon – she’ll worry.
*wanders into thread, disappointed she missed the body part pun-run*
Tell me what now?
I tried that new BK Bacon Cheddar Ranch Tendercrisp. I highly recommend it.
That ad for the Burger Shots has to be the most annoying commercial I’ve ever seen. Well… right after that new Juicy Fruit one.
I don’t usually make recommendations, but I hereby recommend you destroy your TV.
(This should really be Lip Sync fail, but whatever.)
first rate!!!!!!
Sorry, but that happened to be me. *Fail*
nope, i know you really wanted to be but im affraid i was the actually first
Your server is quite slow, isn’t it? I have gotten many times a first rate and a first post, so I cannot care less about getting one more.
Plus, your sentence has a lot of grammatical and spelling mistakes.
i dont expect you to speak dutch as well as me, but let me be 1st rate for
once if you had it so many times
“Being first to comment,” and “being first to comment intelligently” are two totally different things.
Hi, Sidhe. Is that really an argument over who posted first going on above you?
More like a pissing contest about being first, really…
L@w, als je een lange FB carrière ambieert, wees dan wat terughoudend met je first-comments, die worden hier niet echt gewaardeerd.
Deze gouden raad werd je gratis aangeboden door czuhc.
I think you drank too much
jumpy guy, seriously there are people all around him…
I like the way he tries to play it off after. The way he looks around to see if anyone “caught” him. I’m not sure which is funnier, that or the way he screams like a little school girl.
def. quality!
10th or somthing
But last in our hearts.
*hands Malicite a scalpal* I don’t want him in there at all. Cut him out please!
*removes Captainpuncakes and flushes him down the toilet*
Phew! I feel much better. Thank you
*SQUEEZE*
The doctor is always here to serve! *SQUEEZE BACK*
Playing doctor with mr. cuddles…?
*sets up the super-secret spy cam*
What’s with all the “turn your head and cough” videos?
WTG Retaba! Hurrah!
Retaba is a woman?
Eventually.
yeah, I was gonna say, that’s less of a frightened fail and more of a lip sync fail. But didn’t we just have a lip sync fail??
A sunglasses fail to be exact, with a lip sync bonus!
If you look closely, you will see this one appears to be an Asian show. Definite difference from the Portuguese one from last week.
I don’t see the sunglasses fail….
Where’s the sunglasses fail?
thirtieth!
See above response to Captain puncakes.
Oddly enough, I did that to someone just this morning! I walked up behind someone and said “How’s it going?” and he jumped and screamed like a little girl almost exactly like that. It was quite the luls!
I love how they use the exact same video for both fails.
What? There’s only one.
I think he’s confused by the fact that it plays the fail a second time in slow motion with a different name.
Kinda like how when I’m watching sports my mother gets confused because she can’t tell when the replays start.
“Did they just score another touchdown?”
“No mom, that’s the replay.”
“Oh. How can you tell?”
“Sigh…”
For her birthday you can get your Mom a “Winning Lottery Ticket” !
(last weeks numbers on this weeks ticket) Don’t forget to video her
reaction and mail it into “America’s Funniest Home Videos”
That would be mean…
but funny!
It was that slow motion that got me.
nuthin more hilarious than a full grown man squealing like a little girl.
BTW, I had some great lasagna last nite
lasagna? hmmm, is THAT the new word for donkey butt sex?
ME. WIN.
YOU. FAIL. AT. ENGLISH.
Kirkorov sucks!!! It’s funny how he can’t even lip sync properly!
So lip sync guy is Kirkorov?
I pity you, you don’t know the WORLD CLASS SUPERSTAR!!!!111111 MWHAHA
KIRKOROV FTW!
Hehe
You mean FTF, right?
I love Kirkorov. FTW!
Everyone knows he lipsyncs. No surprise there.
бугага но Киря отжег по полной! Я плакалЪ
филя жжет, я плакал!
He looks relieved but inside he’s plotting an evil revenge.
He’s gonna squeal on her to the tour organizer.
Using a pre-recorded audio tape?
Absolutely NOT! He would never stoop so low as to do THAT!
The tape is recorded in the FUTURE and then shipped back via worm hole.
Dastardly!!
You called?
OMG!
Fetch, Dastardly! (throws stick)
*sailing thru the sky*
WEEEEEEEEE!!!!
*watches stick disappear into wormhole*
Quit throwing your garbage into our dimension.
Kirkorov’s really gonna scream when that wormhole sends him a stick instead of his future recorded audio tape
go to the vote page. The mansion with the “drawing” on top is hillarious!! LOFLMFAO
Yeah, I’ve seen it… Funny!
I even submitted it to FailBlog, but I guess Sylvester sent it in before I did.
that happened to me too. I submitted the 911 fail about “eucalyptus street” mine didn’t get picke dup, but a month later someone else got the same one on here.
I hate it when mine don’t get picke dup!
And I live in the country where this idiot is a super star. His name is Philipoke Kirkoroff.
country’s name is Russia
please accept my condolences
Dude, you need to upgrade and move to a country like Poland or Zimbabwe!
THAT is depressing.
I was wondering, the lady looks a hell of a lot like a friend of mine from CA. And that is not only something she would do, but with the hopes of getting a girly screech.
I was wondering, the girl looks a lot like a friend of mine from CA. And that is something she would do, gleefully.
Jeez, get rid of that stupid “Failblog…dotorg” intro and those “lets see that again in 3, 2, 1″. You are wasting peoples time!
Your comment is wasting my time.
Not to mention infringing upon my delicate insensibilities.
*carefully moves WhoaNellie’s delicate insensibilities away from the edge of the table so they don’t fall off*
“DOT ORG!”
There was no countdown in the vid but w/e.
I agree! If you have to have the intro to mark it as a Failblog vid, fine. But why the repeat? WHY?!
so effing wonderful!
and the emmy goes to…
…someone else!
thank you?
Hey you!
How you doing?
You guys need to stop doing the countdown in the middle of the video!
[/sarcastic]
I don’t see the fail…
[/bombastic]
It’s photoshopped!
[/fantastic]
A bit of a stretch, don’t you think?
[/elastic]
The true signifacnce lies in the juxtaposition of his popstar facade in relation to his true fearful natrue.
[/scholastic]
significance nature [/dyslexic]
“_”
[/Hesychastic]
Well spotted, Roadkill! [/tesseractic]
Amen!
[/ecclesiastic]
Wheeeeeeeee.
[/elastic]
Arg, been done already.
[/lamentastic]
Meh.
[/unenthusiastic]
I love how the comments hardly ever have something to do with the post.
*replaces ‘hardly ever’ with ‘never’* There you go
That’s why this is so much fun!
*replaces “something” with “anything”*
The transformation is now complete.
Finally! Optimus Prime reveals his true form
…WTF?
transformation-transformers-optimus prime. connect the dots
Shit, by the time I get this far down the comments I don’t even remember what the fail was…
May I suggest “Depends”?
nuthin more hilarious than a full grown man squealing like a little girl.
BTW, I had some great lasagna last nite
lasagna? hmmm, is THAT the new word for donkey butt sex?
hey! you should meet up with “Twisted”, he’s into the same perversion!
Kinda like how when I’m watching sports my mother gets confused because she can’t tell when the replays start.
amazing! you have such a unique name but there was just a “Konfeksiyon Firmaları” that posted! perhaps you both can meet with “Twisted” and share a donkey?
Yours too? That’s amazing! We should like hang out sometime!
I was thinking of commenting about this video, but that would be totally off-topic wouldn’t it?
Yes.
We appreciate your restraint.
All fails have now gone past 300 comments today. Don’t you guys have, like, work or something?
*glances over at long line of disgruntled customers at the counter still awaiting service and continues typing*
No Not really
WORK?! :SHOCK: It is very inappropriate for you to use such words here!
Good, Moral and Honorable Skwerls don’t do THAT!
*covers ears and runs away singing, “LA LA LA LA LA!”*
Actual work?
Surely you jest.
Although they do pay me fairly good money
Ahaha, funny. I understand why people lip synch though. Sometimes you just want a break, but you gotta keep the people happy. Ah, the life of an entertainer.
the actual fail is the horrible failblog intro
“DOT ORG!” #2
heh, that’s a pretty cool video you got there, way to go!
wow…I mean…wow
Is that an elvis imitator?
Nope. This is an… “original” Russian-Bulgarian singer, Philipp Kirkorov.
He has a bunch of remakes though. And he can’t do without lip-sync.
are you wearing a pink blouse?
розовая ковточка гыггы
Not anymore!
I take fashion advice from the Russian King of Pop very seriously.
What a pouff !!! Cheesy dick….
Ton cul dans la soupière…
test
ah, works
test test.
Okay, that’s working now, too!
Donne ton Foutre !
Too much RPing in the comments.
Your opinion has been noted and filed. Have a day.
Avis levels up! (wow this is late for me…)
Where are ya?
So I havn’t been reading all the fails lately… did you already discuss the translated-Russian Lolcat website? Clickie.
I haven’t the fortitude to try that clickie. My head might explode. And that would make travel soooo much more difficult.
We would really miss your comments. Of course, on the bright side, you’d save a ton of cash traveling “baggage”. Thanks for putting our interests above your own, Avis!
Most stimulating, dear comrade.
где?? даеш ссылко в студию!!
click on her name, for what you are looking for
style fail
what are you talking about? he looks gooooooooooood
The girlie scream made it even better.
You gotta hand it to him;
The guy can sing, be frightened and scream like a little girl all at once
Россия рулит!!! УУУУЁ
What? No win?
Киркоров епта!
Filip Kirkorov-stupid idiot.
Can we drop the stupid failblog bike clip from the beginning of *every* video? It is incredibly annoying. I’ll probably stop watching the videos because of it.
You’re going to boycott? But without you paying to see their videos, how will they make money?
ZOMG. This makes THREE viral videos Filip Kirkorov has been in, each one different in genre and setting.
#1 – him rudely lashing out on a female journalist during a press conference. That one circulated in Russia only and in pre-Youtube days, but made him really infamous for a while.
#2 – cameo: on the panel of judges in “Ken Lee”.
#3 – this.
What song is that??
what song is that- and what about the hand he puts behind her!! – wonder what’s goin on there
Filip Kirkorov is the most famous male pop star in russia. Everyone knows he never sings for real in concerts. None of the russian pop artists do.
кто-нибудь хочет карамельку?
This is the russian singer….
in the still-frame before the video is played… i thought it was rosie o’donnell and a frightened child… my mistake.
Lol, this guy is a singer in russia his name is Phillip Kirkorov XD its not the first time he fails at lipsyncing
What was with all the fighting in the comments? (kinda lame that I even read them all) It’s Fail Blog, not Myspace… If your looking for arguments, that is truly the place you need to go. Now, please, do us all a favor, and grow up a bit.
*sigh* The fail was his little girl scream, eek!
#60
what is the name of this song?????!!!!!
Yeah, it’s Philipp Kirkorov.
He’s russian “king of pop” like Michael Jackson, but alive and unable to dance and sing… :\
You can see the full version of this song on YouTube here: http://ru.youtube.com/watch?v=uS0QfNrsD-o
agreed. kakaya expressiya!
BEST laugh I’ve had all week!
loved the screaming!