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» 327 Failures in Communication
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FIRRRSST OMG I HAVE SUCH A BIG PENIS!!!
FIST DIE AHSDJAHDAUIDHJ
when’s the funeral?
FOURTH!!! as far as you know =_=
well im pretty sure youre also the first one to say that about your penis. hello!
Is it because you have such a large penis that you are first or you being first resulted in you having a large penis?
It’s because he has a tiny pimple that he sprooks on about it on the internet.
I like these kinds of trolls… boosts my ego and gives me the feeling that I AM in fact more important than some people. Don’t you get that feeling with some of these guys?
By the way, I was not talking about you. I was talking to you.
To me ‘importance’ is when someone close thinks of me when I’m not around, and vice versa. I’ll leave ‘ego’ for the next poster…
I was comparing myself to other people, as in trolls.
Yes, and I was saying that for me, comparisons don’t really matter – but I getcha, all the same!
Alright, good.
I figured you’re smart and that I wouldn’t lose you by saying that!
You had me worried for a second.
I think this guy needs to learn the difference between “importance” and “impotence”.
(Big penis guy, that is)
True. He has one, and I’ll tell you he certainly is not important!
Yes, the ‘big penis guy’ … It’s funny because his overuse of CAPS and this misplaced desire to be first seem to shout to me “im compensting for something.. Guess what..”
One can only imagine. Fortunately.
Pfft….men. Always measuring the wrong thing…
Pfft…women. Always thinking that men are all the same…I measure how long I am away from you.
.
DrB, I loved your definition of importance.
Hee…! You got me there.
So. Whatcha gonna do with me?
That’s what she said.
Ooooo. Now I know what type of “she”s your going for.
mmm ladyboys
Just the way you like ‘em.
Azn?
That’s what you get for letting 10 year olds on the internet. Let that be a lesson to all parents.
yeah let ‘em play on the streets like in the good ol’ days
Oh, just put ‘em in green garbage cans.
Be sure to close the lids.
OOOHHH NO YOU DON’T
You thought you had a pubic hair until you pissed out of it
That’s sad and funny at the same time.
omg soooo close to first!
Wow. One’s life must be too boring to get excited about getting a first place.
mind your own business, i’ve always wanted to be first on here!
Which says a lot about you, actually.
And more than we wanted to know, really.
Not that we couldn’t have guessed…
Yeah I know I have a big penis too…
*walks by Opie*
*turns around and points*
*covers mouth with other hand to suppress laughter*
What? What are you pointing at? I can’t see anything there.
(Psst, it’s hanging off his back.)
*snork!*
It’s an initiative of the pro-lifers. They didn’t know what to do once they were born.
if you ever meet a pro-lifer, ask them how many kids they’ve adopted.
And now for something completely different, the Sham-Wow guy beat up a hooker.
Hahaha I heard that on the news yesterday, awesome. That’s what he gets for the crap chop.
Well, as a pro-lifer who WAS adopted, and someone who also knows several pro-lifers who have adopted children, may I be so bold as to point out that you’re an idiot?
Thank you.
I’m sure it’s not the first nor the last time you’ll hear it.
ouch. you called me an idiot. I bet you wouldn’t have been mean were I a collection of cells in a 13 year old uterus. Anyhow, good for the pro-lifers you know who live by what they believe. All too many people claim a belief in something and yet live in hypocrisy. Kind of like republicans who believe in “small” government, yet want the government in their reproductive choice, their sexual preference, and in their marriage.
THANK YOU! I thought I was the only one who noticed that.
But hey. This is Failblog. Enjoy the fun.
i hope you don’t mind me squeezing in (i’m pretty good at that) but i must agree 100%. As a moderate on the other hand i must point out that liberals want big government yet they want people to choose the above stated things
Yes. *respects conviction*
people like you need to appreciate life a little more.
pro-choice doesn’t have life anywhere in it.
pro-life has life in in (obviously)
you must really be a liberal person.
you are holding me back from my pursuit of happiness.
k thanks barack.
I say we should have after-birth abortions.
me too, let’s start with you
LOL NICE FAMILY GUY REFERENCE!
*pushes the big red fart button*
*KERFLOOURT*
Well, it is a recycle bin…
SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE FROM BABIES!!
Soylent green is made from people. Soylent baby blue is made from babies.
And soylent pink.
Never forget that.
How could I? :p
Word. Drop and load.
I hope that’s not your pants you’re dropping there.
I think it was his IQ.
Whatever it was I aint picking it up!
I think xb may have dropped this word: “sense” *offers it back*
At least it’s safe
you must properly dispose of your babies.
otherwise the streets would be infested with ‘em.
Yes, and then sometimes they get in the sewers. Then they breed, and you’ve got babies coming up out of people’s toilets. Not a good situation at all. Because eventually they mutate, so they’re not just normal babies anymore. As a precaution, I’d recomment putting the lid down at night (and maybe putting a weight on top) just to be safe.
Fair dinkum, when those pudgy little blighters get big they can be trouble. Crikey! and those massive over-sized heads – and you never get used to that eerie toothless grin. They have a certain wild beauty, but don’t be fooled into getting one for home.
If you do, however, make sure the cage is re-enforced with chrome-plated steel. Otherwise they can burn their way out with the lasers in their eyes.
Infant Mutant Laser Babies…Infant Mutant Laser Babies! Heroes in a diaper…BABY POWER!! (Infant Mutant Laser Babies comes with everything you see here. Each sold separately.)
DON’T BUY HIS INFANT MUTANT BABIES! They were captured illegally by baby poachers!
They were made in Mexico and the paint is lead based.
Psssh.. this is old news:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29768
Somehow, that comment doesn’t seem to go too well with that avatar.
fashion-police??!
FIFTH!
By the way, nests don’t count…
Sure, if you’re an Emperor Penguin.
By the way, you are a toolbag.
Tell me, why do people like you do this?
I’ve always been wondering why people like you complain about it?
Because it’s stupid, retarded and stupid.
Get rid of all the stupid, retarded and stupid things on the world… then what’s left?
Me.
So basically you want to rule the world?
Well I could tell you what’s not left!
Is it Opie?
Thank you, Redundancy Boy!
It’s true! I’ve tried teaching a few nests to count in my day, and let me tell you, they just can’t get the hang of it!
Don’t talk with your mouth full.
don’t comment with a dildo up your ass
Don’t comment with less than 20 IQ, asshat.
like I have a choice here
At least he admits it, fluffy.
Then again, I’ll admit to anything
I’d say he’s bottled water in a can.
It’s ok, I gave the dildo to Opie.
K, so I’ll give it back to the kid in the clownsuit
Make sure he colors between the lines.
thats a very creative insult… asshat.. i like it lol
Just take the rod out of your ass.
I’m pretty sure it’s filled with something comfortable like pillows – nice, fluffy, thrown away pillows.
i’m pretty sure it’s filled with babies.
I mean sumthin for the babies to be thrown away onto safely.
The top restaurants won’t take them if they’re bruised.
i don’t mind them bruised as long as–
i’m still eating them for free.
I’m a quality guy. Prefer organic produce if I can get it.
That means only organic fertilizer.
How can you tell if your baby is really organic?
Cut it open and look for wires?
See, Opie? When you’re not acting like a completely vicious buzz-killer, people will talk to you.
No, we called the police, and it turns out that they were burritos, not live babies.
Well I certainly can’t tell the difference.
Burritos are spicier.
So are the Mexican babies.
Especially after they’ve grown up!
There is a chute under the can, leading to…
the Batcave?
(Let’s all wake up and keep it going)
Where they land on a mattress, and
…a large wolf with a diamond studded collar picks them up by the back of their jumper suits, and…
ships them off to Gary Busey’s school for beautiful people
where they…
..learn how to come first to…
..comment first on Failblog…
So THAT’S where all these trolls are coming from!
Trolls live in Texas.
…recognize a twisted understand of beauty. With the new knowledge they are then empowered to…
… trots down a tunnel with it dangling from his jaws, continuing on until he comes to two tunnels…
…and sees that both tunnels are completely dark. He knows that down one of those tunnels are the Infant Mutant Laser Babies waiting for him, and remembers that his IMLB detector has been on the fritz lately, so he…
… gently rolls the baby under the range of the laser detection rays…
… because they require odd sized batteries and he has none, however if…
…he inserts an apple he might get enough voltage to power them… (Popular Science’s edition this month has an article about apple batteries)
Where does he insert the apple into?
YOUR BUTT.
So how come I didn’t notice that?
Cuz you’re retarded.
Prove it!
Have you READ your failiures in communication?
Nope I just write ‘em.
You’re lying. I mean, POPULAR science!? That doesn’t exist.
Ever drove a beemer? It’s popular and made by putting a lot of scientific stuff on a pig pile, mix it and distill….
…and the incredible Hulk is born. He roars….
Ack, sorry, you beat me to it.
That’s such a cute top. Can I borrow it?
The IMLB, too clever to fall for this ploy from Laser Wolf (who, while sounding like one of the characters in Fiddler On The Roof, is really not since his name is spelled differently. Merely coincidence), had already enabled their secondary laser detectors. The baby, Tevya (again, another Fidder On The Roof name coincidence) rolls toward the IMLB. Meanwhile, Laser Wolf attempts to escape down the other tunnel…
the furnace.
Hey, If I gave you a Ferrari, where would you put it?
garage.
Oh. You don’t know that one, do you?
If I gave you a baby, where would you put it?
Dead or alive?
One of each.
My wood stove.
Ahh man. These ARE screwed up.
Wait a second… ‘a baby’ but one of each? That makes it… an undead baby?
Hence my reply… my wood stove. Wouldn’t want those things breeding in the sewers!
What is worse than seven babies in one container?
One in seven!
wow — a twisted mind of a trash man had put that there.
A definite FAIL!
An even more twisted mind put that comment there.
I see they’re recyclable, too.
You know if they keep this up, it could lead to a baby shortage.
Nadya Suleman would be hard pressed to keep it up. (?)
)
(>squeeze< Morning!
Same. I’d need a reversal to go back into active service.
(>squeezeback< Goodmorning!)
Back up here and keep me warm.
*shudders*
I don’t like it down there…VVV
*places cushion at kotatsu for Sidhe (to get warmed up)*
Thank you, kannadzuki!
*curls up on kotatsu*
Ahhh… that’s purrr fect.
*purrs and watches Failblog activity through slitted eyes while packing cotton with paws*
I’m sorry, but putting *squeeze* in the same comment as Nadya Suleman made me think of her squeezing out more babies…
They might as well come flying out saying “good morning.” And with that, I’ll say good night, all.
Is it safe?
Of course! Once the box is full, they are shipped to China for child la… huh? I’m not supposed to tell them that? Oh, OK. As I was saying, they are shipped to China for NOT child labor!
For a petting zoo!
Someone has to make those Nikes!
i have to get a baby and throw it in a bin in order to surrender?
this is a clear breach of the Geneva Convention! i demand my rights!
How do you fit 50 dead babies in the fridge?
Not sure, but if they’re young enough, you can pick them up 10 at a time (5 with each hand) by just putting your fingers in that soft spot on the tops of their heads. Much easier carrying them around like that.
No. Wrong answer.
Answer: A blender.
How do you get them out of the blender?
a straw.
Tostitos!
guacamole! Or smoothees. Ever wonder what went into Wendys Frosties or McDonalds milkshakes? Look no further!
Stick a piece of cellotape on the fridge.
Dead baby jokes, eh?
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them!
And on how many brushes you place on each.
That’s not a fail lol. They’re just trying to make their job easier.
Better than leaving them in the dumpster out back on prom night.
Because this is a SAFE surrender site!
I never got that whole “baby in dumpster on prom night” bit. Why would you bring your baby to the prom in the first place? Shouldn’t the baby be at home with his/her grandparents?
It comes from a true story in 1997. From the NY Daily News:
“A New Jersey teen gave birth in a ladies’ room during her high school prom, dumped the baby in a waste bin and then resumed dancing with her date, prosecuto rs said.
The 19-year-old senior from Forked River even requested a song from the disc jockey while her dead son lay in the trash inside the blood-splattered rest room, prosecutors said.
An autopsy was being performed to determine if the baby arrived alive or was stillborn. The results, expected today or tomorrow, will determine whether the teen is charged.
“We don’t know if there’s a crime yet,” said Monmouth County Assistant Prosecutor Elaine Leschot. “If it’s a stillborn child, then it’s not a homicide. There’s a lot we don’t know yet.”
The teen, whose name was not released, did not speak to cops.
Fellow students including those who saw the sweet-faced teen at the Lacey Township High School prom said they didn’t know she was pregnant. The tall, big-boned brunette wore a dark blue or black dress and looked as if she hadn’t a care in the world.
The 6-pound, 6-ounce, 19-inch baby born full-term was discovered at 8:30 p.m. Friday in a trash can tucked inside a toilet stall at the Garden Manor catering hall, where 360 seniors were partying amid black and pink decorations. “
TL;DR
No, sir. It’s not.
I read it anyways now and anything past the first paragraph is TL..
I’m talking about your name…
Yeah I know, coke is better. Although a spliff is the only thing you can easily get a hold of here…
*FACEPALM*
mmmmmm napalm
More baby jokes!
How many babies does it take to tile a roof?
Hmm… I got nothing.
hmmm… you’ve got NO THING??
Depends how big is the roof.
And how big a tile a baby’s body would make.
Depends how thinly you slice them.
Can’t believe I forgot that one.
What’s brown and gurgles?
Brown gurgling things.
A baby in a casserole.
Can I cry now?
go ahead, don’t wet the comments though, wet something else
Yes. That one was a bit disturbing.
They have one of those on pregnancy ward in every hospital you know.
….Why dont they just have a room where you leave baby’s or an attendant that takes them….?
The thing is, they probably have a camera watching that trash can 24/7 so it’s not like it’s anonymous anyways :O
Oooooor… Why don’t just people STOP making so many babies?? It’s waay easier!
Without baby making, there wouldn’t be any of us here!
The human race would dissolve into nothing-ness over night!!
And mice would become the dominant life-forms on Earth!!!
Skwerls would rule the mice though.
The equivalent of humans and sleigh dogs?
I can live with that. Oh wait… I can’t because I won’t be. Well I’m ok with this.
as if they do it on purpose..?
Wow That is just Great
Just what your mom said when you first came out.
Only she said it with firm tongue.
I wonder what she said the second time he came out
How many babies does it take to switch a lightbulb?
How the hell am I supposed to know?
Coz you’re an expert on the matter.
Prove it.
You’ll find out when you grow up…
Depends on how high you stack them?
12.5 Idiots.
Reduce, Reuse, Recycle!
Surrender, Servey, Reclaim!
Come, See, Conquer!
Ready, set, Go!
In, Out, Cum!
Lather, Rinse, Repeat!
You, Ruined, The Joke!
_-_’
Roll, Floor, Laugh!
Stop, Drop, Roll
Kill, Scene, Kids.
Sounds, Like, A Plan.
a man, a plan, a canal, panama!
(clue – read this backwards)
!amanap ,lanac a , nalp a ,nam a?
Say what?
It’s a palindrome.
Should have known.
Too early to clone.
“Bah Weep Granah Weep Ninni Bong” to you too pal!
Lions, tigers, babies! (No, that’s dumb) Some, assembly, required (no, that’s even worse). Um, 25, 6, 4? I, Am, Walrus? Little, Big, Horn. Little Orphan Annie. Annie, Get, Gun. Guns, And, Roses. Roses, Are, Red. Moe, Larry, Cheese. Cheese, Stands, Alone. Alone, Again, Naturally. Aaauuggh! Too late; I think I destroyed the momentum on this one. Momentum fail.
36, 24, 36
I hate when I click “Add comment” instead of “Click here to cancel ‘reply’”
I hate when after we and your mom do our things,
The condoms turns to be ripped off.
Your English is getting better, though your Trollish accent is still so think it’s very difficult to understand you.
*facepalm*
THICK, not think. Think does not belong in a sentence regarding this troll.
*ker-SPLORTCH!!*
Psht.
Once I’ll send u a pic f me u wont think that eh
What you look like has absolutely no bearing on what I think of you. Really.
*grin!*
What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A living baby
A dead baby in a clown costume.
A dead baby in a clown costume holding a purple dildo.
A dead baby in a clown costume holding a purple dildo while dancing the lambada.
am i the only one curious about what a “safe surrender site” actually is?
Its a place where you can put your hands up without being called a freak.
hands up dead babies butts
‘Im only going potty!’
Thats what they all say.
it’s so you can leave your unwanted child and be sure that someone will come and do the paperwork to enter it into foster care until it’s old enough to go to jail.
Or Juvie.
Except for four special ones, of course, who go on to become Infant Mutant Laser Babies.
You know what, screw you too, pal.
I tried posting the link, but the board won’t let me..
There are “safe surrender laws” in most (if not all) states in the USA, which allow the legal guardian to give up unwanted babies without fear of prosecution. The Safe Surrender Sites were established to actually give a place for people to drop off the babies.
So this trashcan sounds pretty safe to me! Mishun accomplished!
It’s mission. Not mishun.
This wouldn’t be quite the same for the Importance of Being Ernest would it?
A Wheeeeely Bin?
Almost almost.
Yeh I must say:
Sense of humor FAIL.
Even my dick didnt laugh.
he didn’t pull this one off eh?
This is yet another angle of the ‘Baby Dump’ shop. Instead of cash registers, they just have nice bins for the babies. Just make sure you close the lid after you put the baby in there.
What happens to the babies?
they recycle them to make recycled (brown) babies
This is wrong people. Babies should really be recycled. Think of the planet!
Im keeping some for recycling.
They give you 0.25 cents for each
That’s not bad. They don’t cost anything to make so that’s 100% profit!
True. Just make sure that you know beforehand if that’s $0.25, or a quarter of a cent. If the latter, then it’s going to take a lot of babies to add up to any decent amount of money. 25 cents apiece, or 4 babies per penny; I’d wanna know which before I started saving them for recycling.
Just pray for a foursome.
Well closet said they are a quarter of a cent. I don’t think he/she would lie to us!
Yeah, so in that case I’m not going to bother saving them. I wouldn’t have the room to store all those babies. Not to mention the risk of retaliation from the Infant Mutant Laser Babies.
Darn, and I thought we had something here! Back to the drawing board…
Your calculations are all wrong. It doesn’t cost nothing to make a baby. It costs at least a six-pack of beer plus the cost of the midnight runs to the store to get pickle-flavored ice cream and other preggy cravings.
Dont forget condoms.
Condoms that didn’t work, hours listening to your parents bitch at you, morning sickness, loss of figure, and the total embarrassment of having gotten pregnant by the biggest loser at school because his Halloween costume was “really cool” and you were too drunk to even guess who it was. PRICELESS!
Hahhahahahaha.
Stupid halloween costumes, Not falling for that one again!
Actually, if you’re trying to make a baby, you would want to forget the condoms.
Unless its a durex………
*Whistle*
Sorry was that $0.25 or .25 cents? Or is it a matter of opinion? I’m so confused…
It ranges from 0.25$ to .25 cents.
Depends on how well is the baby.
You get extras for blue eyes and good weight.
Great! Overnight Deposit
It’s for babies, it ain’t a sperm bank!
LOL, now THAT is the funniest thing I have ever seen!
RT
http://www.privacy.at.tc
you should really browse the rest of this site dude
oh, thats just awful
don’t cry
don’t fly
on the fourth of july
I’m just a Midnight Dumpster Baby… sorry I had to do the Family Guy reference
AND you call yourself Nelson… tssssssimpsons
that was halarious…8D he used the ambilicle cord as a cane
Oh no, it’s okay folks. On the back of the bin it says “CHILD CARE TUES-FRI”, so I’m sure everything’s on the up and up.
Hey – at least it’s a “compostable” bin…
actually, that might not be a fail. if someone’s so desperate that they’re thinking of disposing of their baby, maybe it helps to realize at the last minute that there’s another option — kind of like the anti-suicide hotline signs near many of our local bridges.
exactly. if this is where people are dumping babies then it actually does make sense to put the sign there.
Actually, it’s pretty common to see those signs by dumpsters and trash cans.
what the heck is a safe surrender site?
At least use a recycling bin!
pretty dumb, the photographer could’ve just placed the garbage bin there himself to take an ultra lame picture. This submission is a fail in itself, not the actual picture.
Fail blog needs higher standards than this dumb shit
Looks like a WIN!! to me
combustible babies fail
Swear almost the exact same thing has been here before.
I don’t think this is a fail. I think the sign is probably there BECAUSE women in crisis will try to discard babies there.
On a side note, I think FailBlog needs to take a page from World of Warcraft’s book with a “Report Spam” option, so we can get all those stupid unrelated comments at the top out of the way.
Thats how they treat human life these days?
It’s the building, not the trash can.
I don’t know that it’s such a fail… I mean, that is a recycling bin under the sign, is it not?
I’m curious. Is there no policy on sending in obviously photoshopped entries?
What on earth is a “Safe Surrender Site”!? The sign make it look like you would surrender your kid, but common, in what English speaking (or western) country would you need to have that!? That would just be a horrible society!
So really, what does it mean?
uhh…
1. You overestimate the degree of civilization at which western world English-speakers live at.
2. It is not too different from those boxes in Churches or hospitals ALL nations have.
So really, what does it mean. –> it means when the parent doesn’t want to take care of the kid, they dump it somewhere. this is a “fail” because it shows a garbage can in the wrong place (I assume this building is a Church in Macao.)
At least it’s a recycling bin…
fyi it’s a composter
from Macao (Portuguese and Chinese @ same time)
I always thought that you were supposed to leave babies on a doorstep in a basket? Progress can be an ugly thing.
#58
the sign shows a hand holding an infant, also there are three different languages shown, this is a basic anonymous orphanage drop off. the bin would have been put there for the photo!
=safe surrender site= !!! think of an unwanted teen pregnancy, or case of rape!
Something tells me that someone moved that trashcan to that spot as a sick joke.
*()=_=()*
with all the lib stuff on this sight, I thought This would be a win!!!
It’s time you did too.