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Cheezburger Network Blog
This is the secret of my sucess.
*peeps* Am I early?
The early bird gets the worm.
(“other pro-active slogans”)
Hahahahaha, love the way your avatar looks to peeping.
…but the second mouse gets the cheese.
…and the third student gets the safety.
But the fourth one stayed up.
And the fifth one went “WEE WEE WEE….”
Wait, I think I woke up in the wrong joke.
And the sixth one went *squeezesqueezesqueeze*
Hello stranger! Welcome back!
‘Allo, luvvie!
How was your trip?
Is this a fleeting visit or have you changed shifts?
It was wonderful and the only reason I came home was to see hubby and baby. If it wasn’t for them, I’d still be in the mountains until I was a grizzled old woman.
The photos were something spectacular! I liked them.
Thank you! It was so much better in person, though. That was my first time having seen the mountains. Hopefully not the last.
it’s really creepy that u seem to know each other
Why?
Yeah, interacting with other humans is sooooooo creepy!
Hey! You replied! Stop this interacting, it creeps me out!
You’re humans? I’m a faulty piece of code, one day I hope to evolve into skynet.
I started out as an NPC in Curse of The Azure Bonds.
I was a hurdle in Track & Field on a C64.
I returned as a bag of groceries accidentally taken off the shelf before the expiration date.
I will never see myself in the mirror with my eyes closed.
I will never say the word “procrastinate” again.
Well, maybe I will but I’ll wait till later.
OH! Sorry. Also, sadly, no I’m still on the same shift, and will be until the first part of May.
Just popping in for a minute to make sure the place hadn’t burned down or anything while I was gone!
Boooo.
No, we try to play nice.
mmmmmmmmmm……cheese.
and the early worm gets eaten
‘morning Moomin
Morning Teddy.
*squeeze*
Thought I might spend the day facing the other way after what Mookie said yesterday (she was worried about the similarity between my avatar and elements of the bear-carving fail).
And your teddy eyes bore into our sould, revealing our darkest secrets?
Eew. Wouldn’t want to be thought of as so sinister. George is a most engaging and ingenuous bear.
And well travelled too!
Yes, he’ll be off to Sofia (Bulgaria) for 10 days next Tuesday, and then to Barcelona in April.
Great. Now I envy a teddy bear.
We all get to that stage some point. Usually when it’s being squeezed by a buxom brunette.
Phwoaaar! Don’t get me started!
That is so so SO wrong coming from a teddybear.
*laughs and laughs and laughs*
*squeeze to y’all (by a buxom brunette)*
Morning! Oh, right:
*squeezes all*
Phwoaaar!
Gooooood Morning Jam.
*squeeze*
Hi jam. *squeeze*. Wheeeeeee!
Hey, Jam! I’ve just been under the assumption you were British, and from nowhere near Buxom.
*squuezes jam*
Uh… Hiya jam….!
What a carry on Jam’s caused with her entrancing entrance
Nyuknyuknyuk.
HA! *squeeze*
I am English and as DDangerously buxom as they come.
…and I have my bra back on. Tsk!
Sorry, the phwoarrrs put Sid James in my head.
Now there’s a disappointment
If I leave my bra off, my nips hurt when they get caught under the PC chair wheels.
That’s weirdly similar to a joke I was texted yesterday.
You should put some tassles on to cushion them
Talking of weird, how come my home town is famous in civil engineering?
The ground stabilisation techniques used to provide a suitable base level to construct the road on.
There’s soft alluvium up there, so if no stabilisation had been done, everything would have just subsided and fallen apart.
The things you learn on FB. They should have just left it and made everyone leave the island… err… I mean village.
I like the name, it’s similar to the name of a maths lecturer I had. His name used to be shouted loudly and happily cos maths students are essentially retards.
Learning that you’ve probably forgotten something useful though.
Gosh… I’m a retard or at least was one?
I’ve forgotten many useful things but I have my autoarchive settings on, so I’m good.
Sorry to break it to you like that
I am and always will be. I was at an art show when I realised I was a maths geek and was struck by a sudden fear the Art nerds would sniff me and my mate out and turn on us.
*squeeze*
I just deny I ever learnt them. Doesn’t work though. I need a new tactic.
It’s OK, I kinda knew that anyway. People back away from me when they find out. I can imagine that it’s similar to admitting you have a weird sexual perversion.
Well, they’re fools for missing out on your company. *nods*
Is there something else you’re wanting to say?
First week of university I got bored of the reaction ‘MATHS? Bloody hell’ and the look of horror, so I lied about the course I did. Unfortunately the first thing that came into my head was archaeology which gave me a whole new batch of weird reactions. Woo.
Ha ha! I have my oddities but I don’t think I’m particularly perverted. I guess that’s subjective though.
I did a joint honours. I never lied about the course I did, I just omitted the maths part of it!
One of me mates did Spanish, Business Economics and Maths. He used to try teach me Spanish in maths lectures while I sabotaged his notes.
What was the other part of your honours?
Does he send postcards? And do you have a photo album just with photos of George in these places?
I think an album of Polaroids from around the world would be grand. It could a heirloom, with each future generation adding to the album.
Like the garden gnome in Amélie.
Precisely
Love that film.
*squeeze*
*squeeze*
Back to work for me now.
O, wait, I am at work.
Me too, was first one in the office. Woo!
Good idea. We must get him out and about a bit more. He usually spends the day lounging around in bed, even in exotic places.
ST, just so you don’t feel left out…
I still have my red velvet stegosaurus that was given to me on my 5th birthday, which I inexplicably named “Hideous Obox”. My 6 month old daughter has recently taken a liking to it, and I must admit, I’m a wee bit jealous.
Ok, maybe more than a wee bit.
*looks up*
*SQUUEEEEEEZES MOOMIN*
*looks down at floor*…..perhaps I squeezed too hard…
*looks sheepish*
Boo!
Oh yes k-k-katy. Forgot to say that me and DrB had a baby while you were gone.
*ROFFLE*
Jebus, I leave you kids alone and look what happens! I’m gonna have to send a card now, aren’t I?
I think the foetus gestated in a box.
DrB is a genius.
All accident kid cards will be gratefully received.
Uh oh, I missed it. Which one of you gestated?
*hugs and squeezes to all*
Morning Mookie!
*squeeze*
Good morning everyone! Here I am with one of my scarce apparitions!
*vanishes again*
Morning Mookie!
*squeeze*
I think the gestation occured in a glass of scotch down the back of one of the leather chairs. The sunlight in the roof garden helped speed the process. Had they not been half-pineapple I doubt they would have survived.
Morning
I think something happened that night on the roof garden when I woke up with my laces tied together. Hmmm.
No shit she can pull a crowd.
I want to be the baby’s god(less)mother, OK?
*slept poorly, has headache*
*squeeze better*
Me and DrB will have to get you invited to an unchristening.
You are a font of good ideas, Mikey.
*tries to cure headache with caffeine*
Drink it this time – pouring it on your head doesn’t work, ‘member?
I wish you had told me that 5 minutes earlier.
*dries hair*
Dry all of them this time!
*blinks* Morning everyone… *yawn*
Morning, Malicite. How are you today?
what exactly is the reason that your day stays the same but you
went from 4:43 AM to 2:27 AM to 1:05 AM
Hey, S.T.! Hey, Moomin! I’ve been trying to get my gravatar up with mixed sucess. It works on PK, but not here at FB. Any suggestions? (Keep in mind I’m borderline e-tarded.)
How do ED.
Have you cleared your cache and then refreshed the page?
What is it supposed to be, I see a black background with what looks to be a possibly a close up of a twisted E?
Ooooh. Guess it is working, then. There went two hour’s worth of sleep! Thanks!
It’s the advice people always give, if it hadn’t been that I wouldn’t have a clue what to say!
Start the day with a sucess!
I think it’s a robot vagina.
Uh?
Got it in one! Oh….no…wait. I misread what you said there, Chris. It’s from a comic called “Bear” (how prophetic considering my current company). A close-up of a supporting character.
Hmm… doesn’t loook very teddyish at first view.
Even when enlarged I can only see some silver lines on a black background.
Yeah. When I have a little more patience I’ll put it into proper perspective. I chose a VERY small thumbnail, gravatar blew it up anyway and then told me to crop it. Any suggestions?
Not quite sure if I understood that correctly, because the answer would be pretty simple: Take a bigger pic.
Just a warning, I probably have no clue as to what I am talking about.
Copy you avatar onto a blank white page slightly larger that your avatar and then save that…?
*your
*than
*slam head into refrigerator door
Seriously going to bed now.
I’m going to try that. If you don’t hear from me in a while, I broke something important. Thanks again, my FailTeam!
You can drag out the lines of the cropping box, so as to get the entire picture. When you go to do it you can choose to use an already uploaded image and just recrop it.
Whoops, forgot to put the rest of my clothes back on after yesterday’s rousing game of Strip Spin the Bottle
I meant ED lol
OH!!! I see the robot vagina now!
*collapses the horse*
Noooo! The work day has just started!
Not yet for me, so I’m allowed to do so.
A pox upon you and your horse collapsing abilities!
*shakes fist at Arthur*
*scratches furry head* this is getting very cryptic.
Funny, Moomin – I’m also shaking my fist…
ST, a reference to a previous fail. Apparently the term for wanking in Polish is translated as “collapsing the horse”.
So what’s with the bridle, Arthur?
Do you like it? It was expensive.
Expensive? Try being the father of the bridle…
Did I say bridle? Looks more like a miniature barbell!
That’s not Prince Albert on that horse, is it?
Who let him out of the can?
He finally got a key made.
He chaste the locksmith for ages.
Isn’t that the name of an album by The Wallflowers?
*marches*
I DON’T KNOW BUT I’VE BEEN TOLD
ROBOT VAGINA’S MIGHTY COLD
*marches on out out of the thread*
*marches back in*
*grabs the superfluous “out”*
*uses it to re-exit thread*
The behaviour of the system’s pretty strange. In my experience (and I’m a newbie with this), altering the image can take hours, rather than minutes, to have an effect. Also, I think there can be confusion with the image-cacheing on your computer. When I posted my first message this morning, I got my old, rear-facing avatar, until I refreshed the screen, when it started peeping as planned.
Yup, that’s what it do!
You change it, wait a few minutes, clear your browser cache, and then load FailBlog again. It shouldn’t take >30 mins., usually 5 mins.
PEEPS!
Peeps, Chicks & Bunnies! *salivates*
*Anxiously awaits the Easter Bunny*
Ohhh! Goody!
*plans Easter Egg hunt*
EVERYONE BELOW ME IS GAY.
Oh my god! how did you know?!
predicting sucess
And everyone above me is a closet case…
But we won’t judge you for that
Suc ass classes now being held at the S&M Strip Bldg.
*SCOOTCHES CLOSER!*
Nice, DrBig.
Are you teasing my ego?
I was exactly thinking of your ego at the time.
*wasn’t
It’s so impressive you’re lost for words?
The drool made my keyboard slippery.
Quit straddling your keyboard and that won’t happen.
I’d hate to bore you by getting a big head…
Big heads are the best for being bored.
True. Boredom vanishes when one’s head to delves deep into a matter.
*saves ‘to’ for later*
I suppose that all depends on your definition of “bore”…
You have to think the matter over again and again.
Turning it over, then over again in your mind.
Working on one idea, then another; making connections.
Exploring the possibilities; not stopping at the first answer that comes.
An open mind can lead to new insights.
And earworms.
Ewwww! *shudders*
Sounds hot! Where do I sign up?
You’re such a kiss ass!
*smooch*
Are you implying I’m an ass?
No, sweet moomin. I winked twice to take out the sting.
Isn’t that blinking?
*squeezes*
Obviously the lurve thread, this one. *squeezes alll round*.
This is a strip bldg. Of course there is lurve all around.
*squeezes all*
Ooo! I want one! *SQUEEZES*
*squeeze*
It’s more like a tic I have, but I was trying to play it off.
*helps play it off*
That’s not where my tic is!
Not yet.
Not at the Spankme Building?
Noat at the Candlewax Building?
They did away with it. Too many drips applied.
That bldg. is in the back.
I don’t get it
“Because you spell sucess”
Success is spelled with 2 “C”s
Comment fail by Studdenfadden, I think.
Oh, I see where her other ‘C’ is…
She’s so sucessful and busy she ain’t got time to spell.
Oh? I thought it was behind that sign that says ‘link’.
That appears to be a faint bullseye?
That’s where the ‘S’ is meant to land.
Well, there was never a claim that they’d spell it RIGHT. Just that they spell it.
And because you’re worth it!
You suc.
You blo.
You *SQU
You stin
I cam
…vid vic.
~ Jul Cae.
I was hoping that wasn’t too cryptic!
How’s the good doctor today? Long time no se..er, type, or something like that!
Hiya! A tad busy, but having fun all the same! All good at your end??
Ah, the same, the same. It was a crazy night at work. Tornadoes everywhere.
Hope your night didn’t spiral out of control!
Not out of control, per se, but it did funnel right down the tubes.
Hope your colleagues didn’t get to twisted about it.
*tosses o up*
Was that a general directive?
Aja is so manly he’s gone caveman on us.
Clan of the Caveaja?
I’m from the Caves of Altamira.
“We’ve got fire,
We’ve got wheel,
We’ve got caveman
sex appeal!”
Who can tell me where that’s from?
Class?
Erm…a Geico commercial?
Moonwatcher’s Angels?
Buffy? (“Beer bad” episode)
*buzzer sound*
Mission Hill – Kevin Vs. the SAT episode. It’s on Adult Swim…sometime.
It’s the Prime Directive.
I thought that was ‘Protect the Innocent’ or ‘Serve the Public Trust’?
Nah. That directive sucked.
You mean suk?
I came
That’s for letting me know, momma!
your welcume
Acording to my dicitionary this is spelled correctly.
Redneck dictionary? Those can be caught on fire and replaced. : )
(it’s a ref to previous fail)
.
Fahrenheit 451
Don’t upset the Equilibrium.
Oh boo! I miss some fails since I’m only playing on the interwebz half a month at a time. : (
Let me guess: A divorce? Split time to use the computer?
Erm, close. A divorce as in I split my time up? : ) I have two jobs. One is training horses. The ranch where I train does not have internet therefore no Failbog for me!
*yawn*
Bed time!
Good night! Although 10 a.m. seems pretty early to go to bed…
It’s currently 1:59 a.m. where I reside. : )
Er… strange transitive/intransitive verb construction fail there.
Call my butter because I’m on a roll!
Hmm. Apparently it is time for me to hit the hay..
*me
I’d call your butter collect if it’d accept the toll!
Maybe it’s supposed to be secess.
The secret to my abcess?
Eewww…
(Did I spread mistrust yesterday? I read your conversation with Avis. If so, I’m really sorry! Please try to erase what I wrote.)
No, there’s a lot of people that do it. And that’s been said before.
You’ve nothing to worry about Arthur.
How’s your ankle doing?
Whew.
It’s alright, thanks for asking. Still hurts a bit, still a bit swollen, but nothing serious. I’ll be back on the pitch in three or four weeks. Looking forward to that!
Three or four weeks? Sorry to hear you’re injured, Arthur. It’s ard for me to keep up with all the news, but I just can’t spend all day failblogging, much as I’d like to.
Thanks. It’s not too bad. I think three weeks ago I hurt my ankle and the doc was pretty sure that it’s so bad that I wouldn’t be able to play football for about a year. Turned out she was wrong (yay!) A couple of weeks is nothing.
Hurrah! That’s a lot better news than originally thought.
Am made up for you!
Thanks!
*squeeze*
‘later, all. have to do some work. I’ll try and look in at the next fail.
Bye ST.
*squeeze*
LOL
ShamWOW!
Because you spell sucks us.
Everyone knows when you are good looking like her, you don’t need to know how to spell.
But can she type?
Hello there!
What are you doing!? You should be sleeping!
Me?!? It’s 9:30am here!
You should be sleeping!
9:30!? Where do you live, Jupiter!? It’s 5:30 here….and yes I should be sleeping.
Close, it’s England.
Hahahaha, yes you should! What are you playing at? Everything alright?
My dog woke me up and I thought I would just come into work since I couldn’t go back to sleep. Silly pug.
Hmm. I see someone has beaten my high score.
*rushes off defend my speed-typing honor*
Which one was your high score? That 117.2 has been there a while.
Er…well, maybe that one was mine. I thought it was 116 though. My memory is not too good.
Hmmm, better to be safe and beat it anyway!
No, 117.2 was me. Took me seven attempts.
And I had to sum up the results, of course.
I think you two need to battle it out! Good thing multiplayer is coming next week! haha
*chases Arthur Eld about the room with a wet noodle*
How dare you beat my score! Just wait….I’ll get my high spot back.
*leaves in a huff*
oh haha ….battle anyway!
Hehehe. I would only have a chance to win if it’s about the slowest with the most mistakes.
I’m up to 29+. Still only using two fingers. I wouldn’t want to use them all and be on top anyway.
Katy, my only result so far was 15.8 with 11 mistakes. Thou shall not fear me. Please, put down that noodle before anyone gets hurt.
Don’t do it Katy, everyone loves a good wet noodle fight
Woo hoo! Just scored 37.8! This is an astonishing, miraculous score!
…for me.
k-k-k-katy – 116??! Really? Wow.
so, spelling counts…
*sigh*
Must have jumped to conclusions. My apologies, Arthur.
.
plussingaswhich, yeah somewhere around there, although it seems this morning that the best I can do is 112.
So…who wants spaghetti?
You apologize for thinking that I’m really good at typing? Err… It’s alright.
*sigh*
I need to go to bed.
Arthur, I’m sorry I chased you with the noodle. I’m sure your typing skills are what they need to be in order for you to survive as an adult. They can’t be TOO terribly bad, or else you wouldn’t be on here!
*squeeze*
Still awake or already?
She can use her cell phone AND she’s thrifty with the alphabet; that’s enough. She’s got the job.
Ds alphbt thrft equl emplyblty? Excllnt. Aldry hv a jb, nw lookng frwrd to a psyrse…
*payrse*
Crap, just blew it…
If you hadn’t said, I wouldn’t have known. I’d just think you were on the posting on the wrong page.
*saves “on the” for a later comment*
Hiya plus! I don’t know what you said^, but glad to see you!
Hiya back
That was looking scarily like lolspeak, ick.
I read it 3 times and still got stuck on the last word. Have you been away, or just silent lately?
I think its pursue.
Or procceed.
Or – Pls send ur mom my apology for using the torn durex kthxbai
Proceed*
I think the ass switch wasn’t plugged…
Does alphabet thrift equal employability? Excellent. Already have a job, now looking forward to a payrise…
Ingenuised.
Yay, Moomin!
My alphabet thrift is clearly not up to scratch – no ‘payrise’ for me…
I’ve been posting less ‘cos I’ve not been as busy… The more work I have to do at my PC, the more I don’t do it, and hang out on the lovely Failblog instead…
That sounds familiar.
You too? Hmmm. How do any of us manage to keep our jobs, etc?
‘Coz we’re brilliant?
In my case, I am my own boss, and I just can’t bring myself to fire me.
Same for me. Although I have already issued a caution to myself. If I don’t stop I’ll have to see myself in my office and shout at me.
As long as you’re not sexually harrassing yourself…
For some of us, it’s the only option.
Luckily, not for me.
Hmpf.
*apparently is in bad humor this morning*
I didn’t want to sound harsh! It’s all good.
*passes another coffee and an aspirin*
Thanks, Arthur. I’m a mess today.
*chugs coffee, gulps pills*
But how do you make unwanted sexual advancements…on yourself? No don’t tell me – set up a website and charge people for that info; I’d hate to deprive anyone of a revenue stream these dark days.
.
.
Huh, huhn, I said stream…
Payrise. Well, I wouldn’t have gotten that until I was asleep. Then of course, I would sit up in bed and go “D’oh!”
Sense of humor fail.
Epic.
Nope, not at all my
goodman. Just different terminology from that which I am accustomed. We just say “raise,” not “payraise” or “payrise.” So pllbbbbffftttt~~~Who are you talking to?
Myself.
I was in the closet and got lost in the gloom.
So thats what you call it today?
Gloom, despair, and agony on end.
Deep dark depression, excessive misery.
Hee…
Freak much
The song’s about you.
Would you like to buy a clue?
…Haw.
I spell failore.
Was that a joke? Or did you just fail at ‘failure’
The only failore here is you.
F u cn rd ths, thn u mght hv a career as a mgzne ad mdl. Aply wthn. Prpre fr sucess.
i = already mudel
u own cll phn? Thn u hrd! Cngrtltns! U strt Mndy.
cll phn?
Was that some sort of Dr. Phill acronym with a twist?
that doesn’t even look like a Dr. Phill acronym. and his name is Dr. Phil, not Dr. Phill.
stfu noob.
this sux!!! MUHAHAHAHAHHAHARRR!!!
‘261 Failures in Communication » ‘
aw man, does that mean im a failure?
My mom always told me im a lil angel.
maybe she was wrong.
If only your mother had been pro-choice, then perhaps she would have made the right choice.
Oh gosh, I work for this company. I always knew it was epic fail….but REALLY?!?
You must be very sucessful
I just do it because they’re the highest paying employer in the area. I will be “sucessful” when I move to Boston for Berklee.
Actually an incomplete sentence fail.
They meant to put “Because you spell sucess incorrectly”
Could someone tell me what’s wrong with this picture? I don’t see it..
i have seen bigger fails. this one is kinda lame!!!!!
i dun get it
Sometimes work sucs!
I do not see an error.
I don’t see why all these ’success’ adds have a person on a mobile phone smiling? It’s so late ’80s, when you had to actually be successful to own a mobile telecommunications device. Nowadays, that chick is probably just hookin’ up a drug deal so she has some gear for her next porno shoot…
This ad puts the s “profesional”
lol, this one has to be in the hall of fame.
Galing talaga ang Pilipino!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha!!!
This ad should have read: “Because you can’t spell sucess”
I don’t get it….what exactly is the fail?
i dont get the picture, whats wrong with it?
If I don’t have sucess, then I guess I fale.
#52
we may spell success but you don’t
The irony in all this: Because you SPELL sucess. And only success could be spelt wrong.
HaHaHa niceee…