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By bad teaching?
No, by not having a revolution to get rights.
*spins clockwise!*
Are you playing spin the buttle again?
Oh look, it landed on me…*slips off flip-flops*
.
*spins!*
Strip pin the bottle?
If you pin that bottle to me, there’ll be trouble!
.
Oh, look it’s stopped again…now who’s it pointing at?
*ducks*
Oooo! Quick, but not quick enough! (if you’re of legal age, of course)
*pulls off a sock…***
drats…
*spins*
Hell. You’re not rigging this? *tosses towel on floor*
*spins!*
*looks away*
It’s okay…that sock is on…umm…
*takes a sneak peek*
Is it meant to look like that?
O.O
*loves how Jam call a smock ‘fully clothed’*
That’s the sock, silly!
.
Ha! It’s stopped. Now who’s it pointing at this time…
*lands abruptly, skidding*
*tries to look like it was intentional*
How many can play in this game?
Hi poppet! Oooo, you landed right in front of that bottle!
The more the merrier, though I’m not really sure of the rules.
All I know is it involves bottle spinning and removal of clothing… though I think the bottle is weighted… or something…
I got here after flying through a bad storm. I put on mittens and a hat to play, but the hat fell over one eye.
*takes off hat*
*spins smoothly on slick mittens*
It’s International Rules: Spin the bottle; whoever it’s pointing toward when it stops loses an article of clothing, then spins it again! (I don’t know how it wends – usually get distracted before then)
We could pay Truth or Dare with the bottle… more options than just clothing removal.
But… But… But… Are there really any better options than clothing removal?
Not for us adults, but some funny underage regulars here could join in if we keep it PG.
I guess we could blindfold them and make them guess!?
This is tame compared to that next fail!
That’s true, they’ve lost at spin the bottle and are already bear.
Then I believe the bottle is pointing at you, Moomin. Got more than your hat on? Hee-hee.
He’s already lost his trousers. The brain got to him.
Then whoever that is over there in the shadows, we see you! It’s your turn…
*unzips moomin suit*. . .
…and shows his true self which is…
*a squillion tiny moomins in tiny tophats come tumbling out and swarm out under the door*
*bottle spins as all the moomins swarm by it*
Me again? Pffft!
*removes one mitten*
*spins and waits*
Damn! I’ve got to remove something now.
*stealthily removes bra without removing shirt*
Us girls are clever like that!
*spins and waits*
Damn these name changes!
*creeps out of the corner, trying to avoid squishing the many mini moomins*
Drats…
*removes pants*
*spins*
*saunters in wearing a toga* O crap this is not a game for me today. *Runs home changes returns*
Drat.
Removes underwear with pants still on Zoolander style.
*Quickly enters* You should probably stop this soon before the fail police arrest you for indecency. *Quickly exits before the bottle of evil points at him*
It wasn’t spinning…?
*spins*
I’m going to curl up in the corner and sleep.
*ahem* I better still have 3 mittens on when I wake up later on…
*spins bottle for good measure*
*curls up*
Zzzz…
*looks around* ACK!!!!
NOT MY SOCK!!!
*spins the bottle once again, and runs off to bed*
*sneaks back in and places two more mittens on Sidhe Cat*
Heh, tell me what to do, I’ll show you.
*sneaks back to bed*
*sneaks in*
*Makes stupid comment*
*Sneaks out*
this is actually a pretty amazing book.
hope you get to read it sometime.
*Catches someonerandm* Your comment was stupid but you aren’t that sneaky.
*puts tracking device on him as he tried to sneak back out*
Hey what’s goin on here?
*yawn… blink, blink. Stretches*
*Shakes head. 2 mittens fly off of ears*
Well, I wonder how those got there? At least I didn’t wake up naked.
*sigh* Oh well…
*scampers off to see where everyone is*
Hey guys, what are you talking about? *looks at bottle* Damn! *removes one sock from foot* Watch where you point that thing, I’m very self-conscious!
This is more random than Schrodinger’s Cat
theres a reason?
Upright Citizens Brigade?
no, by reading this book
ZING!
By getting eaten?
Making Connections textbook. Let me guess, Grade 9 geography? lol
lol, I have that txtbook as well
i rock
I paper
I scissors? I robot? I walrus? I for an I? I-dentity crisis.
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind or pirates.
[~ Gaaaaarrrrrrrrrnnndhi]
Pirate Gandhi? Interesting idea.
Future Failbloggers in the making.
Mutant Failcloggers in the baking.
Itinerant failjoggers in the raking.
Pewter gollywoggles for the taking.
Neuter Polly’s Boggles, sure is aching.
artless huger muggers are all waking.
Mendicant failbeggars in the mugging.
Stupid children sure like baking.
Cupid, Mildred, Lure Tykes, Taking.
… I coulda swore this made sense when I first typed it…
That’s what I get for staying up this late…
Not a fan of the rhyming threads that devolve into nonsensical strings of words. If you can get a rhyming scheme going while still writing coherent sentences, that’s fine.
Beware the Jabberwock POB!
Hey, at least if you imagine the words have definitions they make sense. Here, the words have definitions, and cannot make sense.
I agree. I try to tie it to the Fail, or I leave it alone.
5th post, and i don’t PHAIL :[
Maybe you should read that book ollie…
I think ollie should benchmark off that post, then create some pathway strategies to achieve his organisational values.
Ollie should stop skating around the issues that are obviously bothering them.(Morning! We’re Moople-daddies! How cool is that title Fluffy bestowed upon us?)
Yeah, no point going off all half-piped. (Heya! Freaky how it looks like Austin Powers, hey!)
Although all the preparation can be a grind. (I always knew that playing Tony Hawk’s would come in handy one day. Am watching your clothes list with fear, we already have one accident kid!)
Isn’t this getting a little goofy?
(Yay Tony Hawk
Perhaps not, but you do Fail.
Is this an instructional manual, or perhaps a cook book for that one restaurant a few fails ago?
Maybe the other article under the book is titled Baking Connections?
Yeah, they probably thought the spoiler was already out for the title “To Serve Children’.
most likely just a detailed description of child anatomy and how it cannot support massive weight; Thus explaining how you could utilize a child for heavy labor but that it would not be very efficient as your workers would die off before they procreate.
It’s a book written by an award winning teacher on the problems of modern heads-down-write-what-I-tell-you-to-write education system.
guy’s a genius.
If their heads aren’t down they can see you messing with the student teacher, duh.
That is why I always lifted my head up just enough to peek out and watch.
Sit down, shut up, face the front and pay attention!
…and don’t turn the page until told to do so.
At middle school our headteacher shouted these gems at us in assembly:
‘Stop sitting in front of the person in front of you’
‘Sit still and get to the end of the row’
We were paralysed with confusion as we tried to work out what to do.
Obviously you were supposed to sit in a circle and have wheels under your chairs.
We weren’t that clever in middle school, we just giggled about the headteacher being a loony afterwards.
I think they just wanted us to stop messing around so much.
I wonder how John Holt would feel about being on fail blog.
Agreed. It’s a great book. Definitely a WIN but not how the regulars might think.
(you know, if/when they think)
Excellent book about how compulsory education causes children to fail.
I hope it is an instructional manual on how to fail, that way we might get some better fails in the future. A chapter “Juggling with Iron Pens” would be most welcome.
Jiggling with iron pans.
*Wiggling with ironed pants*
*Haggling with Byron’s rants*
The book was written by a former teacher who realized how our system of education works to “dumb” kids down. He also wrote “How Children Learn” in which he described his observations about the things that interested children and therefore opened their minds to learn. Sadly, John Holt died in 1986 from cancer. However, his work is every bit as appropriate today as it was 40 years ago.
I own this book.
Deeply insightful book. I love it. I recommend it for every parent.
It’s been in your family for generations.
I have been in my family for generations too…
Do they call you grandpa daddy?
yes they don´t
Good day to you, Mister Fritzl.
there´s a good one! appreciate it..
I agree! It is always sticks in my mind because it is by someone called John Holt, but presumably not the reggae singer one. I am sure he also did a more positively named one, How Children Succeed or something.
he had a few books.
In the last chapter of this book he said that he held a seminar of teachers, one of whom asked him “I love this book, but when are you going to write ‘How Children Succeed’?”
Apparently he looked blankly at them and just said “I thought I already did.”
2th Printing!
Looks like a 7
In fact I tried to view the picture at an angle in the hope that that glare would go away.
Did it work?
No. And I feel really stupid now.
You should face your screen away from the light source, that will work.
I turned my monitor off to get rid of the glare, now I see the book fine.
I just noticed that it was overdue and returned my monitor to the library.
The book monitor must have appreciated that.
I remember when the librarian was a much older woman.
Kindly, discreet, unattractive.
Chapter 1: Have dickheads for parents.
….who name you Jed I Knight…..
… and then dropped you in the unwanted babies can …
…where you wait until you’re eaten, for free…
…andwhile you waited, learned to play classical music…
Chapter 2: Drugs, alcohol and commiting crimes are cool.
The appendix contains a list of stores for the best hoodies.
Plus tips for filing unemployment applications.
Chapter 3: Do ‘Har har’ laugh from The Simpsons when someone hurts themselves.
Apparently, there are two chapter threes.
*catches his mistakes and tries to play it off*
…or sent you to a school where “whore children come first.”
*tries blowing on her post in hopes it will float on up to the right thread*
*is surprised the post isn’t up after that!*
*helps kannadzuki blow harder*
*secretly passes blue pill to comment*
Wow, that must have been awkward!
Blow hard!
*
Wait, so very sorry. That surely didn’t sound right . . .
I don’t know what you’re thinking of but I am clean of mind.
You’re quite right, of course. Besides, “blow” is just a figure of speech.
Blow is a verb.
Blow is a noun. I read about it in chapter 2.
Either way, I should probably have the bukkit now. *hangs head in shame*
That you have to use the bukkit blows.
Now now children, coming to blows over this sucks.
Careful! I think Moomin’s about to blow!
Is this a sly jibe about my massive nose resembling the fabled white whale?
*crosses arms and taps foot*
Don’t be blue, I was implying a different, deep-diving whale.
Uh oh, seems I’ve been doing it wrong.
Whatchu doin’ here? Figure of peach is in the next chapter!
)
(Morning
I’m feeling peachy, thanks! Is that a banana in your pocket or have you been playing with Mikey again?
(Morning – time to make the coffee!)
*tastes*
yup, it’s a banana.
(Morning Mookie)
Blow Hard: With a Vengeance?
That’s downright nasty.
(I’ll pay extra)
You couldn’t afford the inflation.
Yeah, I’m a bit of a let down.
Aww… don’t put so much pressure on yourself.
You leave me breathless, but I’m all mouth and no trousers. (There was a weird incident yesterday involving brains, a pot plant and a dragon who doesn’t take kindly to staples)
You’re a sweet Moomin. It’s exhal’tation just talking to you.
)
(I saw that. Did you get some pants back on in the end? I only ask cos…well… you know!
I’ve been inhale and highwater to get to talk to you, but it’s worth it.
)
(Am sat at my desk newsreader style so you’ll never know
You don’t belung inhale. You’re a breath of fresh air.
(Have you got an open fronted desk or are you in one of those cubicles? *looks hopeful*)
Wednesday’s last so lung without you, it’s such a pleasure to shoot the breeze with you again.
(I sit facing the corner like a naughty boy, although I am in the master bedroom. Everything’s open in this house, erm, office)
Aww..
)
I’m always here for you ex’zephyr Wednesdays, when thair’s no chance of a chat.
(Is the corner thing for the least distraction? Looking at the join in the wall must be dull. I’m sat at my kitchen table with tea and a work pile up.
You stir up a whirlwind of emotions with your comings and goings. We’ll just have to batten down the hatches and weather the worst on Wednesdays.
)
(Just how it ended up I think, it means we can sneak up and scare the hell out of each other though. Are you having your weetabix? Must be lonesome working home on your own
I’m thermal’ovely Moomin will manage without me for one day.
(I’ve got you babe but I’m happy in my own company if needs be.
I’ve had my Weetabix already and the tea ran out)
I’ll try *sniff* Makes Thurdays all the better, every cloud has a silver lining and it’s an ill wind that blows no good.
(Awwww! You’re sweet jam *squeezeysqueeze* I can’t work without distraction. GCF hasn’t been seen, so you should have all the weetabix you can knowing your monitor is safe)
You know what they say though, absence makes the heart grow thunder.
(I haven’t done any work yet because of the distractions. The phone keeps ringing; people always want something.
I’m investing in a shield so my monitor can be impervious to attacks of Weetabix.)
Sorry to interrupt. Mommin, find me where you used to hide once!
Damn! *runs back to squeeze Moomin*
*SQUEEZE*
But when I see you, sunlight in the rain
(What do you do? I’m currently trying to do some structural calculations.
Could be worse, a lad at work scratched his monitor playing with a toy horse)
Snow hardship to return; you can easily tempest me.
(My job is different depending on what day it is. Wednesdays, I run workshops, the rest of the week I’m a dogsbody.)
Awww, you’re so sleet. You make me all warm and slushy inside.
Keeps life interesting, it’s one of the things I like about my job)
(Sounds like a varied work-week
Aww… stop it. My eyes are all misty.
(Today, I have to record myself and my screen for training purposes. I can’t get it right, I don’t like the sound of my voice and my laptop can’t handle this software but I muddle on!
In a few weeks, I have to go out on a roadshow and soon enough I’ll have to build some new courses, so it is varied but it also boils down to teaching the same old things day in day out.)
I talk too much! I’m heading over there —->
Gah! You’ve rained on my parade by leaving the thread!
(For a moment I pictured you trying to videotape yourself over your shoulder working and was going to make a comment about recording yourself on failblog. Sounds like it could be fun, but does that mean an absence from failblog while you roadshow it up?)
And no you don’t.
Chapter 3: Remember The Meaning of Romance. No, wait….wrong book; that’s The Book of Love (I always wondered who wrote it).
not so ‘win’ at all. it’s just a book about how and why kids fail in life and what as a parent to prevent that from happening, i read it.
Wouldn’t it help to insert the word “preventing” in the title?
Ok Arthur, I think I’m looking in the right place?
I seem to be banned from the terrible site with the horrible language! Hehehe! I’m kinda proud of that, although I don’t know why.
Ok. Next try in an old fail.
I would never have guessed.
I’m not 100% sure though. I have to rely on my memory and that can be misleading.
I shall bear that in mind. Thankyou.
*ankle squeeze*
*ankle squeeze*
Doesn’t really change anything, does it?
Naaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Chapter 4: Being a troll on “FAILblog.org”
HUGH JUPP IS A RAPIST SEND HIM A DEATH THREAT
*Failcon punches “Owen Reese”*
They held the release party for this in Fail Hall!
Does anyone know where I can buy this book?
http://tinyurl.com/d8rerl
Amazon.com has new printings, as well as used copies. They have several of his other books too. My favorite was “Teach Your Own”, and it led me to pull my kids out of school and let them learn at home. Two of them went on to university on scholarships and the youngest taught himself gold and silversmithing, and now makes fine jewelry.
A biography for the the writer?
Oh, and here I thought it was your autobiography.
No I could never write such lies. Then again you may be the prime candidate for the author position.
Seems a little thin to me.
-Envy-
Why So Bearous ?
Oh crap wrong fail.
Haha, I actually have a copy of that book.
and i proofread its portuguese translation… not a bad one is it?
That’s what our college wants to happen to us. They don’t give a S**T about us at all
Did someone say cheese?
Do you really need a book to tell how children fail?
cool! i proofread the translation of that book into portuguese. hahaha. small world. nice book too…
WE HAVE THIS BOOK IN THE LEARNING SECTION OF MY SCHOOL’S LIBRARY!!! LOL I’VE SEEN IT!!
OMFG!! My folks had this one on the bookshelf when I was a kid. >:(
Was I here????
#48
WIN!!!!! DX
Yess! Awesome win!!!
I have that book, read half of it, don’t remember any of it.
i own this book, its about teaching methods
no one will read this