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I am curious about the conditions that apply…
Must have all immunizations?
I think they meant to say condiments apply.
Yeah, I always think kids taste better with a spot of mustard and ketchup.
BYOB(BQ sauce)?
How about a nice, heart-healthy balsamic vinegar and oil dressing?
Bleu Cheese for me, extra on the side please.
I won’t eat them for free, but we can work something out
If you want to go heart healthy, you shouldn’t be eating kids anyway. Kids are very unhealthy.
I figure if it’s like a buffet, then I can choose among some healthy kids mixed in with some not-so-healthy kids.
Like a pig-pickin’!
♪ I want my baby back ribs, with barbeque sauce ♪
u guys r grose
i accidentally my kid. what should i do?
Kids; humans in general, are actually very healthy for you. Most nutrients that you need are already in the flesh in a way that’s very easily digestible.
Oh definitely, I make a habit to make one kid a day.
*switches make with eat*
That could be taken wrong.
Sez you, Dr. Frankenstein.
Too late. It was.
He must be quite the player.
You eat a habit to make one kid a day?
I eat only a little bit kid meat every day. First the little left foot, then the right, then the hands, etc.
In between I store them in the cellar!
A kid a day keeps the doctor away.
But you should probably have your kids checked by a doctor before consumption.
well thats kinda obvious with them being made of human flesh, and you needing human flesh, its just like pre digested normal food
how would you no that……….
With rosemarry and basil.
♪ Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme… ♪
♪ Don’t shizzle that gizzle, my friend – hand it over to me ♪
i luv balsamic vinegar!
of course, beer, bombs, barbeque sauce, BYOB can stand for anything now!
THIS IS IN JOONDALUP!!! I WAS GONNA UPLOAD IT. HAHA. HOGS BREATH CAFE!
so am i>>
No shirt, no shoes, no service?
No pain, no gain, in the rain?
He came, in a flame, of fame?
(its early. I need more coffee)
*hands WIK a triple shot iced white chocolate latte, laced with Baileys*
Oh, thank you! I should be less stupid in a few minutes.
*Is being reminded of Adam Lambert, giggles, remembers his boyfriend Brad, and shuts up*
This is a test comment, to see if I am banned or not.
Thank you for reading it and wasting seconds from your life. *wzzzt*
you’re not banned
just thought i’d let you know 
I don’t think you’re banned. You’ve been very amenable lately. You don’t need a dict. for that do you?
I disagree.
About the dict.? You are wrong.
Everyone needs a good dict. once in a while!
They ban people here? I didn’t think that happened here. See, I learn something new every day.
*prepares to ban velvet for a brief but short time, then reinstate her amidst great pomp and circumstance*
You can only ban me if you go with me. I’m going to get a vanilla ice cream in a waffle cone, too!
Can I get sprinkles?
I’m coming, I’m coming!!!
That’s what she… no, sorry. I will go hang my head in a corner now.
Don’t be long!
Wait who is getting head in the corner?
Alas…
Is this a private party, or can two play?
It’s ok. If you wouldn’t have said it, I would have.
Me too.
You can’t be banned! Who will take the lead in commenting if a fail comes up and you are still banned?
*re-reads previous post*
Oh! Ice cream… Can I tag along?
I wanna ice cream blizzle, please, heavy onna tartar sauce.
Not being certain what a ‘blizzle’ is, I have to say the tartar sauce just doesn’t seem to fit. Now ketchup with Tabasco… there is an ice cream condiment worth having.
Note to aiki: see previous FAIL.
And I’ll settle for jalapeno dip.
*smacks head, pulls out brain, flips right side up, re-inserts brain correctly.*
There. Now I can make a semi-intelligent comment.
*waits…*
Semi-intelligent comment!
Brilliant! You look a little different, aiki. New hairstyle?
Calvin: I’m a genius, but I’m a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What’s misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I’m a genius.
Yeah… new hair style and a lobotomy. Apparently your brain dose have to be re-inserted right to function.
*gives aiki another dose of brain*
*nudges DW so she spills it*
Awwwwww, now look what you done and did!
Kinda reminds me of my new despair dawt com poster – “Pretension – The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you’re pretentious. “
Ewwwwwwww. Thanks, Moomin, now I have brain all over my boots.
*surreptitiously wipes boot on the Moomin’s pants leg*
*drools and starts scraping brain off of Moomin’s pants*
I need brains… and a grammar checker.
EEK! Zombie aikiwaza!
*removes pants and staples them to dragon*
Chase her, lots of brains!
*picks up pot plant for modesty and sidles off*
*laughs at the idea that staples can puncture dragon-hide*
*set’s pot plant on fire*
*gets contact high*
Didn’t want to reproduce anyway.
*kicks pot plant remains away*
*reaches over the Moomin and removes superfluous ‘ from post*
That’s what pot does to you!
*climbs into hat and vanishes*
*Yells “you’d better put your pants back on” into the hat*
=O
Still agape from the brain acrobatics just witnessed.
Must be *clean*, vaccinations up to date, under 10 yrs of age.
I wonder if Boggy had something to do with this. The condition: must be a troll child.
*loves kids just can’t eat a whole one*
Am trying to cut down on them.
try cutting ‘em up first
The kids today have too high a fatty content.
Slow cook them and the fat drips away.
I could George Foreman them?
Remember the George Foreman show? I bet he could eat an entire Brady Bunch.
Brady Brunch?
Rotisserie them. Tastier that way, and no fat.
or go for the complete opposite and deep fry
only in America!
Or Scotland. Or Bakewell. I had a battered Creme Egg on Saturday in Bakewell, was rather nice.
*gags*
No, it wasn’t a joke.
I think she throat it was funny.
first
See, you took too long to spell it right.
F…I….R……..S……….um, wait……..T!
And whoever needs punctuation.
If he’d capitalized and exclaimed, we’d still be waiting.
velvet>Sam
HAHAHAHA! One point for jules!
Yay, what can I buy for one point?
A little finger?
I thought we could eat kids for free
That offer applies to entire kids only; due to the cost of separating body parts, I’m afraid we have to charge for individual pieces.
Kid inflation ruining the market YET again.
Damn kids.
Velvet win!
Velvet will always be > Sam.
But 1>2.
Chuck Norris> Velvet
+1
and i dont see how this is a fail…my business seems to be doing pretty well
So, you’re a cannibal by trade?
Aw, thanks malacite & sidhe! ((group hug))
I was very happy to see you back up front where you should be, velvet!
*hug*
It was worth the (spelling) effort, wasn’t it Sam?
Now go eat a kid, OK?
You are in fact not first, as to say you fail. Along with everyone else who say first
Well, yesterday he/she said FISRT. Personally, I found that to be amazingly appropriate.
not funny at all
Oh, you are SO wrong about that.
>snorkles<
*scuba dives*
*drowns*
burbleburbleburbleblaaaaaaaarg.
*puts on David Hasselhoff’s bathing slip*
*jumps into water, swims through giant waves, fights against a shark*
*dives to save the Moomin, holding his breath for about ten minutes*
*finds the Moomin, realizes his leg is trapped*
*heroic effort to free the leg*
*surfaces, pushes the Moomin on a boat*
*Pam Anderson gives mouth-to-mouth to the Moomin and they fall in love*
Hey…let’s see some slow motion running, there!
(Pam can stay in the boat, though, thanks.)
*squeezes ankle in thanks*
Sorry Man But You Double Fail Yet again..
Once for attempting to be a first-Whore because saying first at the start of every joke to try & be first is a “FAIL”
& 2ndly For failing at being first!!!
We need a picture of you to put on fail blog for the amount of times you have done this, is this you
http://c2.api.ning.com/files/nF*iwCQMy8UqGDS5eOea7nmVIWSMrRFolmk5AZkQr9iCIt4*-PsXvBKrKh0EcFaaTtQ891PxNTkYmxXMii31-Mz0IIDsXwjl/dork2_brown.jpg
is this
I bet this is attached to the back of the building in the previous fail.
lol, no kidding!
mmm yummmo- with some tartar sauce
What the hell is that animal with sunglasses next to it? A wild hog?
Really, most strange! Maybe it’s what’s going to be eating the kids. Seems to be drooling in anticipation.
Drool? I thought that was snot.
No ’snot, it’s saliva.
But really, who nose for sure whether it’s snot or saliva?
It’s a sinus the times that we can’t even tell the difference. Damned educational system!
Who nose these days?
*runs away*
oh, most certainly it’snot snot.
damn refresh fail
Mmm… kids!
midgets are even more delicious!
im not a kid but i would still like to be eaten
do u guys think i can take advantage of this awesome offer
Conditions apply.
Epic comment win.
+1 on Malicite.
Since I missed first again, I’ll go with eighth (Nests don’t count).
Gr… ninth I guess….
Conglaturations!
You are very great. Many thanks!
Now go and rest our herro!
Until the next fail! -Rides off into the sunset on a white stallion-
*looks at clock*
The next fail will be uploaded in 2 hours and approximately 40 mins. At least, that’s the time one is uploaded every day.
lol this is in joondalup
It’s a shame they took down their “unattended children will be given a shot of espresso and promised a puppy” warning.
New sign reads: “Unattended children will be sold as entrees on the black market”
indeed it is… the hog’s breath cafe…
I am trying to figure out what they are really trying to say?
We are still feeding kids for free!
Or
Kids are still eating for free!
At least it’s not
Kids are still eating me for free!
That yellow exclamation mark tells me one of your drivers isn’t working!
That response tells me one of your submarine captains isn’t diving!
Divers lurking?
By the transitive properties of “offensive to religious leaders”, I believe that makes beach-going kids “seafood”….Wait, where’s my handbook?
probably “eating” -> “seating”
That does make the most sense. Now leave. We don’t have any cents here, imo.
or “heating”, “beating”….
8O… My mind went right to the gutter there.
*retrieves aiki’s mind, looks it over*
*dusts it off slightly*
Here ya go – a little gutter diving every so often is good for ya, aiki
Thank Nellie. I don’t think my brain has been this clean in a long time.
*inserts brain back in head*
I wondered about that. Are they cannibals or pedophiles? Maybe they’re both.
Cannibalistic pedophiles? How romantic! I never thought of it that way.
Kids are turning into quite the delicacy on Fail Blog. I say nom to that…nom nom…nom nom nom….
This is a good one.
A number between 10 and 100!
.002
Sorry, try a number at least 9.998 larger please, assuming the set is inclusive.
*hands velvet “27″, at virtually no additional charge*
That’s just a matter of opinion.
between 010 and 100 is only 011
It was an i, not a 2. Its .002
sez you.
but as Jam once told us… There are only 010 types of people in this world.
01000111 01100101 01100101 01110011 01101000 00101110
01010011 01101111 01110010 01110010 01111001 00101100 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00101110
I’m sorry, I can only understand hexadecimal
01000100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01100001 01110000 01101111 01101100 01101111 01100111 01101001 01110011 01100101 00100000 01010111 01001110 00101110 00100000 00100000 01001001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01100011 01101011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101010 01101111 01101011 01100101 00100000 01110101 01110000 00101110
Wow… that was a lot for such a short sentence.
Yes you did lol
Sorry you had to do that too lol
Wow – this fail has been out for thirty minutes, and no one has come out to tell us what sickos we are yet!
Judy, Judy, Judy! They are still sleeping. Shhhhh! Their moms let them stay up late last night.
Where were you Judy?
Posing with pickles :/
Shhh! Malacite – that was OUR little secret!
Bah! I always ruin secrets by writing about them! Mal fail!
Surprize:!:
That’s what she said when she pulled out the… *puts a sock in his mouth*
Has anybody seen my second soc… Malicite! Give that back!
*spits out the sock and scampers away*
*checks socks*
*sees there are no bells on them*
*sighs in relief*
The song “Ding Dong Merrily on High” seems strangely appropriate here.
Me? Over at a cooking site looking for some good stir fry recipes for kids. They have a whole section dedicated to “Cooking with Kids”!
They could be referring to goats, but goats are never quite as tasty.
What I’d give for some goat meat right about now…
How about a free child? I’d gladly trade in some of my leftover goat meat.
Trade a child for goat meat, eh? You drive a hard bargain sir, but I’ll take your offer.
Hard bargain? The children cost MUCH more than the goats to be kept fed. Not like those kids.
Maybe we are the only normal ones, and everyone else are the sickos?
hmmm I don’t see the fail..
its cause ur black
sorry thought this was the church fail
the rizzle for the sizzle crap
FAIL fail.
fail FAIL fail?
Chris Hansen has been eating lunch there every day. No predators yet just a bunch of scared kids eating free lunch.
WHAT?! That’s mean! That’s not fair!!! I’m a proffesional child eater. People pay me $500 to eat their kids. And now this… this… crook comes to town offering to eat kids for free???? I’m going on strike!
if u go on strike then were will the kids go to get eatin
think about the kids man, not urself
If this is your typical writing level, then no. You don’t win.
damn, you stole my Chris Hansen thunder.
Fail.
No one sells kids to cannibals at any kind of discount.
There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.
Fisrt!
Dear lord, not another “fisrt”…
Blob<Sam?
Maybe not. Blob did include punctuation.
Good point. How about:
Blob>/=Sam
A clever idea… I like it!
don’t think i am going to eat there unless i can eat the kids for free instead of them eating the kids for free..
This isn’t a cannibalism fail, it’s a context fail by the photographer. This joint is down the road from my place (literally), and if the photographer had a clue he would know that this is in the context of ‘if you can’t control your kids while eating in this establishment, we’ll happy dry age them with our beef in the fridge for 21 days before serving them up with a nice side of corn on the cob, curly fries and steamed veg’.
If anything, this is a win for both cannibalism and natural selection – now only if they’d use those sharp kitchen knives to cut of the knackers of the stupid parents so they don’t breed any more satanic offspring.
lol. Knackers and mash served as an appetizer..
Knickers and mash?
Crackers and mush.
Peckers and mesh. (Crackers and mush…just sounds so funny in my head right now…*drinks third cup of coffee*)
Hackers and cash.
glorious.
Well, I wouldn’t eat a free kid. You never know what you’re getting with the free ones. They’ve probably been sitting around forever, all stale, lice-infested, rotted brains from too much video game playing and the music they listen to. I’M not taking that chance!
The voice of reason.
Phht, babies are never that clean when you eat them.
Frankly, someone ought to be profiting from all of the gratuitous kid consumption.
There should be a tax on it! All good things are taxed these days
Would that be a sin tax or skin tax?
I think there’s a B missing somewhere in there.
Who could have drone such a thing?
180th!!
Well, I just lost my job. Off to go kill my family. Its been sweet failblog.
Really? Damn! I feel sorry for you.
(Don’t kill your family!)
*worries about sofaqueen and all the little sofas*
*squeeze*
Now I’m hungry -_-;
Mmmmmm I like me some kids
There you are!
63.8wpm!
76wpm!!!
you missed me!?
I wait for you to appear. You’re normally here earlier in the day aren’t you?
I havn’t been on as much latley.
There YOU are!
*squeeeeeeze!*
THERE you are!
*SQUIZZLE*
Squizzle really doesn’t sound like something that should be done in public…
Not that that’s stopped anyone here before…
tooooooooooooooooo much freeeeeeee time
I want see the menu. @_@
Want to* x.x Can’t think in school
Funny how that works isn’t it. All that you’re required to do there and you failed them.
Looks more like a cannibalism win to me.
I´m also curious about the conditions that apply!
Maybe they meant “condiments”? That makes a lot more sense than “conditions”.
i always wondered how they made such good food there…..
(hogs breath right?)
This establishment is clearly owned by the Maryland Terrapins Women’s Basketball squad.
Conditions: No fatties. Seriously, Chuck has one hell of a cholesterol problem, and your pudgy little Billy isn’t helping at all.
All right! I didn’t miss out on the Kid-eating special after all!
I used to walk past this all the time to go to work. It’s in Joondalup, Perth, Western Australia. It’s just an ad gimmick promoting their ‘kids eat free’ deal.
Yarp. I liked the old one about giving unattended kids a shot of espresso and promising them a puppy from their mum.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Nice
And here I thought Mike Tyson didn’t have enough money to start up a restaurant anymore.
You’d be surprised! Him and Michael Jackson teamed up and now the kids that no one wants get sent to Never-Land ranch! xD
this pic was taken in hog’s breath cafe
DON’T EAT ME!!!!!!!!!! I TASTE BAD!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE THE PLAGUE!! YOU DON’T WANT TO EAT ME!!!!!!!
Is it unnatural to seriously wonder what cooked human tastes like? Or to think out a good procedure for preparing the meal?
Да, мы любим есть детей >=]
thats cannibalism, and frowned upon in our society.
Conditions apply
Ugh, illiteracy…it pains me so. Those of us who have had the privilege to have learned how to use proper grammar and spelling of the English language need to be SO grateful; it’s absolutely tragic that literacy and education are not “free” like they should be, and that so many Americans just have no clue how to use the English language. Ugh. I want to start a school for these people!
If it’s the pic you’re referring to… It’s in Australia, not America. We do crap like this for laughs.
Ohhh jeeze, I live down the road from this place, one of my mates works there! Considering the last sign they had on that window was ‘All unattended children will be given a shot of espresso and promised a puppy from their mother’, I’d say they are in on the joke. And yes, this is in Australia, where education is provided by the government….we Aussies just have a dry sense of humour…humour with a ‘u’.
I used to work at the Hungry Jack’s on the other side of the shopping centre. Lived on campus at ECU.
*Looks down at comments below this one*
… What part of “This is in Australia” does Molly not understand?
So…. did they mean Kids eat for free? Or they are feeding kids for free? Or are they just nuts
LMFAO
Is this in Arkansas? (Razorback on the window..)
uhh… no, western australia, sorry :/
Hah Photoshop fail!
PHOTOSHOPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no its not, i live near it and that is actually what it ses. get your facts right before humiliating yourself on the web
Not photoshopped. Is legit. You should see some of the comments they have in their menus.
“No groping the waitresses (waiters okay)” is the only one I can remember right now…
Ausie Aussie Aussie!
urmm.. i live near this, and its supposed to be like this, to stop parents leaving their child unattended in there.. yeaahh.. no fail what so ever sorry
This is actually near where I Live in Australia. It is in a place called Joondalup, Located in Western Australia. It a National Restaurant chain called Hogs Breath Cafe.. It’s not photoshopped but more a play on words. it used to say
“unattended children will be given a shot of espresso and promised a puppy” LOL
hey i live near this restaraunt too, and u arnt lying, its not photoshopped and it did used to say that =]
i live in quinns rocks, you?
ROTFL
At least it’s for free…
hey, this is in western australia, no fair! i took a picture of that the other day to put on here, coz i live close to it, but it looks like i was beaten to it =[
PedoBear Win
figures, only pussy gets eaten for free
WOW. Serious photoshop fail.
See the letter T in ‘Still’ and R in ‘For’? See the lampost? Haha.
Nice try, though.
Once again I send out a warning to John and Kate! Recount! I hear supplies are running low at this restaurant.
#50
Conditions apply?????
look at dog in the corner drolling lol
Can I have a medium rare 3rd grader with extra salt?
I’m kidding about the last comment this is fail blog so everyone gets to be silly!
Not too much gristle.
parent win