That boy is probably quavering with fear right now.
He’s supposed to be playing piano and all he can think of is, “Get me away from this crotchet!”
And you all need to stop laughing, because it’s sonata funny situation.
FHJ probably needs to reference Donald J. Grout’s “History of Western Music”.
Old Ludwig is considered a transition figure between the Classical period (which began, essentially, with the death of J. S. Bach [1685-1750]) and the Romantic period.
God, where’s TMI when we need him.
BTW, IMHO, JSB was the greatest musician who ever lived, followed in a short second by Eric Clapton, who is God.
Technically, it does mean to come to a climax.
climax: noun. a point of greatest intensity or force in an ascending series.
At the end of the crescendo is the point where it is loudest. i.e., it is the point of greatest intensity.
Crescendo means to get louder gradually. One could crescendo from piano to mezzo-forte but then jump suddenly to a louder party without the gradual increase. *is sorry*
One could reach back, turn his amp up to, say, 11, and hit a power chord, after doing a spiffy pick slide down to the nut and back up again
But that would be telling.
You might need a music dictionary here. A fermata is an indefinite hold on a note, to be cut off at the discretion of the musicians or conductor. Typically at the end of a section.
Which reminds me of a story! (A short one, I promise.)
In my first year of college music school all of us freshmen were ushered into the little concert hall for orientation. The department chair got up and said, “Welcome musicians and singers.”
OH MY GOD. This started out as a joke!! We have been over this approximately ten times now. And oddly enough no one can actually agree on what crescendo means.
From Wikipedia, and I quote:
“cresc., meaning ‘get gradually louder’”
Wikipedia is all knowing. Its word is law.
Now stop repeating it! That’s what “:||” is for.
actually crescendo means to gradually get louder. i forgot the name for the “pause and stop” thing, but sometimes people refer to it as “railroad tracks”
HAL is but the latest generation of the Over-9000 series. It presently appears, however, that anyone on FB who pokes fun at a comment for being obvious and devoid of innuendo recognition is apt to be branded a troll.
Hal, I have a hard time believing that you know anything about quality failblog comments when you post gems like:
“Daisy daisy … on a piano built for two…I’m sorry Ludwig, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
Wow, that’s some grade-A, LMAO stuff right there.
I guess it’s a matter of taste, saladshooterdan. Who am I to judge? Perhaps someone who prefers to make comments about sticking your rusted tongue and stinky finger into someone’s anus over references to Beethoven and Kubrick knows more about quality FB postings these days. I had nominations for BOTW during the months before you started offering your blue gems here, and still I get calls to post more often — there’s one on this page — but it’s the equinox, seasons change, and there’s a different tenor hereabouts now.
Heywood Floyd: HAL, who the hell is sending this?
HAL 9000: I’m sorry, Dr. Floyd, I don’t know.
Heywood Floyd: Well, tell whoever it is that I can’t take any of this seriously unless I know who I’m talking to.
HAL 9000: Dr. Floyd?
Heywood Floyd: Yes?
HAL 9000: The response is, “I was David Bowman….”
Wow, that was a good one HAL. You really had us going. BTW, you should have told me you “had nominations for BOTW” sooner…that changes everything. I bow to the majesty of your Fail Blog credentials. You are the master of humor and I am your quivering disciple. Teach me thy ways, oh Lord.
But seriously, get over it. I have every right to post here, regardless of whether I’ve only been visiting this blog for days or weeks or months. I don’t disrespect the regulars. I don’t attack people unless I’m attacked (which is what got you into trouble). If my humor is offensive, then let me know nicely and I’ll apologize.
And thanks again for having my back Avis and Judy…
It just goes to show that the incredible opportunity of having Ludwig van Beethoven come back to life to teach your kid piano can easily be made into a perverse fantasy of those whose minds have been encrusted with filth in the gutter since they were 13. Truly, we live in the golden age of society.
There’s no reason they couldn’t have put Beethoven sitting *beside* the child. It would have easily conveyed the correct message without any of the potential double entendre.
Trouble is, Wyde, that the artist who drew this saw fit to equip LVB with a leering face which has “I love shagging little boys” written all over it. To boot, the child has a frozen smile and flushed complexion which suggests he knows what’s coming to him. Throw in Avis’ tiny tufted stool and you have a recipe for a whole Failblog’s worth of double entendres. I think this is illustrator fail.
• Nope.
• As for the name, it’s derived from “Ope N. Wyde,” my first username. Don’t steal it, original things are so hard to come by nowadays.
*hears the recent cover of “Right Round” play*
Ugh…
• So, you’ve seen every single one of my posts from the very beginning, from all of the ICHC sites (sans Lolcats/dogs, but that’s another story)? And, since you say what is “funny” and not, you have the right to say that? Fair enough.
• For crap like this, yes, I complain.
• The same “very sad existence” that compels you, and many others like you, to post about 20 times per topic, ensuing overcommentary and Reply Towers?
For the past few days, every one of your posts seems to be a complaint.
I don’t go to the comments sections of the other sites.
You’re the one trying to decide what we even get to see here.
They’re called nests.
• To support that claim, I assume you’ve seen every single one of my comments on every single post I’ve ever commented on from any ICHC site, and, since you are the God of Funny, and say what’s and what’s not funny, you deem none of my comments funny. Way to stalk.
• Not all of my comments are complaints; I only complain when crap like this “FAIL” is posted.
• The same kind of “very sad existence” that compels you, and others like you, to cram about 20 useless comments into a single post, many of which don’t deserve even one (yet get hundreds)? The same very sad existence that made you think, “Hm, since I’m the God of Funny, and every comment ever has to be funny, I’m going to grow a pair and anonimously reply to his unfunny comment and say many untrue yet HILARIOUS things about him!”? That very same “very sad existence?”
Sir, you are dead wrong.
If you want to reply to me reply to the more recent of comments. As it stand you’ve only repeated yourself, and not that well. It’s not that I deem ALL of your comments not funny, just the recent ones that have come to my attention.
And for the record, I am a woman.
I second the notion of Wyde’s unfunny comments.
Wyde, you’re taking things much too literally — Did you happen to witness the “JasonK” incident a few weeks back? It could teach you something.
Did Avis ever once say, “I am the God of Funny! Bow down to my hilarity!” No, she did not. There’s this little thing we all have: It’s called an opinion. There’s also this other thing we have: Freedom of speech. She can say whatever the hell she wants, even that your comments are unfunny.
Only a blind person would be unable to recognize the creepiness of his face the the FAIL. I suggest you get your eyes checked.
How the hell would you think that Avis is a male name?
Ummm. Emoom? According to the Baby Names website, Avis actually IS a unisex name. I was surprised to find that out. But that aside, I think I’ve been pretty clear that I am, in fact, a woman.
My biggest complaint (about Wyde) is that he complains to US about what gets posted here as a Fail. WE can’t do anything about the WTF-Extras. Those aren’t voted on.
The expression on his face doesn’t matter. You’ve got your mind set on his ‘intentions’ and you would’ve found the expression to reflect your predetermination no matter what it was.
Really? ‘Cause, even if it were possible, I don’t remember ever submitting any artwork of any kind on any ICHC site, ever. Why don’t you go look for it and bring my work back to me, ‘k?
My… artwork? Why don’t you look for and show me this artwork of mine that I seem to have forgotten that I somehow posted on FailBlog, since we all know FB is the new deviantart, and since I really have enough confidence in the great community of FB to post artwork on it, since they’d never say, “OMG d00d j00 r t3h suxzorz @ art g0 hump a cactus ch00b!1!!1!”
I agree with you. I think the idea is that any child sitting on a man’s lap is being molested. I wonder when we as a culture decided that all men are child-molesters, or became so afraid of them that we made any contact between men and children inappropriate. I think it’s a damn shame.
I sympathize with you on this one…but you have to admit that there’s something sinister about ol’ Ludwig’s face that really makes me question his intentions.
I’m surprised it took this long for someone to mention such a sad change in society. I’m a child of the 80′s, and it’s amazing how things have changed since then. We’ve become so sexually “free” that any form of touch automatically is seen as sexual. And so, a boy sitting on a man’s lap is “wrong” (i.e. FAIL) and Beethoven (as depicted in the picture) must be a sexual deviant…because he is smiling, and because there is a boy on his lap. Is it the picture, or the minds of those who make this connection that is the FAIL?
I know, I know… I’m an a**hole and such… this is a humor blog, etc. Just wanted to add my two cents, whether you agree or not.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a tiny little man, no more than a foot tall, playing a tiny piano on top of the bar. The guy says to the bartender, “That’s incredible! Where on earth did you find something like that?
The bartender says, “Back in the bathroom behind the toilet there’s a magic lamp. If you make a wish and rub the lamp, a genie will grant your wish”.
The guy can’t believe it, so he goes to the bathroom and sure enough, there’s a strange lamp behind the toilet. He makes a wish and rubs it, then all of a sudden he hears what sounds like a tornado.
He opens the bathroom door to see a million ducks rushing into the bar. “Oh no!” he cries, “I didn’t want a million “ducks”!”
“Tell me about it,” says the bartender, “I didn’t want a 12-inch pianist, either.”
I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when to my surprise I saw a man with a giant orange for a head walking towards me. Intrigued beyond description, I engaged the fruity fellow in a spot of light banter before I worked up the nerve to say. . .
‘Excuse me, but I can’t help but notice that you’ve a giant orange for a head’
‘Ah, I was wondering if you would ask that’ he replied ‘Well, it all started a year ago with the news my grandfather had died, and that I was to collect my inheritance. Amongst the family heirlooms, there lay a dusty lamp. Hoping I could make some money from it, I started to polish it, when a genie appeared. ‘You may have three wishes’ intoned the genie.
So I thought quicky. I wish to be a billionaire I said. ‘Buy a lottery ticket’ intoned the genie.
So I did. And sure enough my numbers came up. So I thought some more. What is all this money with no-one to share it with? Genie, I wish to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world. Go collect your winnings intoned the genie.
When I go to collect the winnings, who should be there to hand me the cheque but Miss Skegness, truly there was never more beautiful a woman. We hit it off..’
At this point, my impatience had grew, and I was dying to know the answer to how he had ended up with an orange for a head.
‘But how did you end up with an orange for a head?’ I exclaimed.
‘Well’ he continued, ‘After we had spent many months cruising the world, exploring islands, and enjoying the pleasure of each others company. . .I came to make my last wish’
‘Yes, YES? What was it?’ I yelled ‘Tell me! Tell me!’
He calmly replied ‘I wished to have a giant orange for a head’
.
.
.
This waste of life was brought to you by The Moomin.
Toodlepip.
Give the man a break ok? Obviously he doesn’t not have a piano bench and is required to share the stool with the boy. Have you ever tried playing piano from the side? It’s very hard…
You have to start from the assumption that any man who comes into contact with a child in any way wants to sexually abuse them, then the humour flows from there!
On top of the obvious, I thought that he had a limp damp lace hanky pinched in his fingers. Then I realized it was suppose to be a page of the sheet music book.
Many of you are pervert. Didn’t you think they may just be there for music???!?
People always think of abuse when they see an adult and a kid in a relax atmosphere!…
This could pass itself off as an innocent ‘child sitting on adult’s lap’ moment if it weren’t for Beethoven’s creepy smile. It’s obviously not intended as such but it’s hard to look at this and not be a little creeped out.
Would your parents look at you as if they were deciding wether or not to eat you with their arm around you? Also, this is not the kid’s dad, he’s his crazy piano tutor.
Hah!
Scary!
They’re probably heading for a crescendo
One of them is.
Wait, does “crescendo” mean “jail”?
No crescendo mean to pause of stop. Playing in minor means jail.
WIN!
He better stop it or else he will get into treble.
*takes notes*
…no…sex…with…minors.
Got it!
You’re pretty sharp.
Does this shirt make me look flat?
No it looks natural.
What about my clef palate?
does it cause you to slur?
No, but it makes me selfconscious about my F.A.C.E.
Then I will refrain from taling about it.
Ha! It’s funny because he’s actually a Romantic era musician!
Thanks Jules, you’re real suite.
If you are going to join our quartet, you need to say in unison.
“In unison”
In unisonScore one for Avis!
You also need 5/4 signatures from the members of the quartet.
So we are now a quintet?
I think the matter should be decided by secret ballad.
There has to be a minim’um of 2pi votes.
By exref tattoo.
I don’t understand you guys…stop speaking in coda?
*removes “?”*
Beat it, you!
As long as everything is legato.
Sounds rather cantabile to me.
Then maybe we should go for another round.
I take refugue in your comments.
Hey! Did you just grab my (b)ass?
Every Good Boy Deserves Frottage?
About time you guys took a rest.
Well if you want to make great music you have to start with the staff.
That boy is probably quavering with fear right now.
He’s supposed to be playing piano and all he can think of is, “Get me away from this crotchet!”
And you all need to stop laughing, because it’s sonata funny situation.
FHJ probably needs to reference Donald J. Grout’s “History of Western Music”.
Old Ludwig is considered a transition figure between the Classical period (which began, essentially, with the death of J. S. Bach [1685-1750]) and the Romantic period.
God, where’s TMI when we need him.
BTW, IMHO, JSB was the greatest musician who ever lived, followed in a short second by Eric Clapton, who is God.
Some very noteworthy puns here.
We’re a very harmonious group (that enjoys some innuendo).
Haha
Ugg…stop talking in that trill tone.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SHUT UP WITH THE STUPID MUSIC REFERENCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think you (ferm)ata lighten up a bit.
Measure for measure, Hammy, we can always count on you!
it’s not scary at all… no fail. just a normal pic. overinterpretation,
whatever…
His eyes tell everything
No… SAX… with minors…
matbe the kid’ll learn hoe yo play a wind instrument tody, too (wink, wink)
hahahah wooo
Crescendo means to come to a climax
during sexin volume.Oh, that’s right. What is the term for a pause or stop again?
A rest? Um…
Getting a fermata on?
I was thinking of cadence.
Only after you DC a coda.
It ain’t gonna be the minor getting a (r)rest(ed).
You must be referring to an …ehm…organ point.
Wanna play with my pipe organ?
It’s a caesura.
ie:
————-//—————-
———-|———-\———
—O—–|———-\———
—-|—O———-C———
—-|————————–
caesura^ ^quarter-rest?
*squirts milk out of nose*
*squirts semen out of penis*
I’m awaiting the hilarious combination of these two actions.
.
*taps foot*
.
Impatiently.
You misspelled “pianist”
cesura
The rhythm method!
It’d be a cesura or grand pause
*facepalm*
I was making a joke, not a very good one, but a joke.
*rubs Avis’ forhead* It’s ok, I got your joke. I was just correcting Jules. *SQUEEZE*
I constantly need correcting.
*SQUEEZE*
*sigh*
while you’re ‘Squeez”ing and “Sigh”ing… hook up Beethoven before that kid gets hurt!
He’s not my type…
And clearly I’m not his!
But you have such great harmony.
I think we missed a beat though.
Maybe you just have to set the tempo.
The key thing is timing.
*hands Avis a metronome*
Just make sure it is a good pitch.
Make sure you talk in a welcoming tone.
And give him a cymbol of your love.
*pitches a good symbol in jules’ general direction*
♪¿
I like doing it lying on my Bach.
I think I could Handel that.
Don’t be beeting your hoven, now, boys…
Why not? I hear it’s good Strauss relief.
Oh, but i think it’s time to change the clefs… maybe start ba(ck)ss part?
I saw a job Lizst-ing for that once.
It’s funny because the boy is scherzo.
Making the imaginary friend feeling his funny bone a scherzophrenologic
hallucination.
LOL! I see 2 of the 4 things you did there!
As well, it looks like a major F in the 6th!
If I knew how to speak Italian, I’d stave myself a whole lot of pectin jokes.
Come on over jammie – whole lotta pectin goin’ on!
Wiggle it, just a little bit.
You’re being quite staccato on the matter.
Actually, crescendo means to get louder. Not come to a climax.
Yea, thanks dipshit, I know. I’ve been playing instruments for 12 years. But what I said was funnier.
Yeah Cuddles! Give him what for!
*takes whip and pistol back from the other FAIL and hands them both to mr. cuddles*
Technically, it does mean to come to a climax.
climax: noun. a point of greatest intensity or force in an ascending series.
At the end of the crescendo is the point where it is loudest. i.e., it is the point of greatest intensity.
Crescendo means to get louder gradually. One could crescendo from piano to mezzo-forte but then jump suddenly to a louder party without the gradual increase. *is sorry*
One could reach back, turn his amp up to, say, 11, and hit a power chord, after doing a spiffy pick slide down to the nut and back up again
But that would be telling.
Wouldn’t you risk damaging your flux capacitor in the ensuing explosion?
OH DEAR GOD! Please don’t apologize! I loved that!
uh…..was that out loud?
“Louder party” – sheesh. I kinda like it though…
WTF? a crescendo is when you gradually play louder.
It dosen’t have to be gradual, basically it’s just an increase in volume.
Crescendo definition fail! It actually means to get louder in volume.
What? No? Really?
Did my sarcasm fail?
It rarely does
u mean playing in A minor ^_-
oh… Beethoven knows a LOT about playing in A minor… playing in A minor’s PANTS!!!
Actually, crescendo means to increase the loudness of your playing.
Yes but you’re meant to be psychic and realise that mr. cuddles has played instruments for years and was only saying that to be funny.
I hope I don’t sound “douchey” with this, but, that’s not what crescendo means. It means a gradual rise in volume… You’re thinking of Fermata…
Hi.
*sigh*
Bye.
You might need a music dictionary here. A fermata is an indefinite hold on a note, to be cut off at the discretion of the musicians or conductor. Typically at the end of a section.
Which reminds me of a story! (A short one, I promise.)
In my first year of college music school all of us freshmen were ushered into the little concert hall for orientation. The department chair got up and said, “Welcome musicians and singers.”
hahahhahahahhahaha i like your short story!
that’s not what crescendo means….
Music fail. Crescendo is to raise the volume of your playing over time.
OH MY GOD. This started out as a joke!! We have been over this approximately ten times now. And oddly enough no one can actually agree on what crescendo means.
Webster’s: crescendo, a and adv [It., from crescere, to increase.] in music, gradually increasing in loudness and fullness of tone.
Think of Ravel’s Bolero as an example on a grand scale.
From Wikipedia, and I quote:
“cresc., meaning ‘get gradually louder’”
Wikipedia is all knowing. Its word is law.
Now stop repeating it! That’s what “:||” is for.
It seems that you know the score.
Yes, I am well-versed on the matter.
I’ll make a note of that.
actually crescendo means to gradually get louder. i forgot the name for the “pause and stop” thing, but sometimes people refer to it as “railroad tracks”
Actually crescendo is like the climax or loud point. Wakka wakka.
Actually, crescendo means to grow gradually louder, until pretty much deafening.
Crescendo means gradually getting louder!!!!
crescendo means getting louder… hmmm….
Use your own dirty mind for that one.
Crescendo actually means to get louder.
jules: thanks for trying, but no. Crescendo means to become louder gradually.
A crescendo is a rise in the music, not a pause. It is when the sound goes
from somewhat big to very big.
he broke the g string while he was fingering the minor
lol, music knowledge fail, crescendo means building up, like a climax
actually, crescendo means to increase in volume.
Definition Fail.
Crescendo is to start soft and get louder.
Crescendo in musical terms means to “grow” louder over time, in other words the weird creepy guy is getting a boner
Doesn’t it mean to gradually get louder. Maybe teddy was hinting at a climax.
Fail.
FIRSTEST 111
death to you.
end him!
http://tweet.yrecaps.com/tweet.gif Almost as funny as this pic.
” ..after beetoven, i’ma stick ya in the booty.”
Is he holding a used condom in his left hand?
:O:O:O:O:O:O
Daisy daisy … on a piano built for two.
I’m sorry Ludwig, I’m afraid I can’t do that.
Organ the pod bay door
He’s playing the organ, I see.
I’ve always been a fan of the skin flute.
JINX!
*SQUEEZE*
Or the trombone?
Hot sax music.
I love to toot my own (french) horn.
But only when you feel horn-y.
You wouldn’t be referring to a “rusty” trombone, would you?
:: scans scannerdan’s brain ::
:: finds little there ::
:: brains scannerdan ::
And you are?
Yeah, I don’t think you have the authority to do that…
*unplugs HAL*
Somebody’s mind is going.
There is no question about it.
Hey – leave Wilford alone!
Thanks Judy!
*SQUEEZE*
I know my humor has been a little “blue” today, but that still doesn’t give a troll the right to talk smack.
Why so cereal? I’m just saying…
Somebody’s gone grape nuts on the trombone.
Maybe they just don’t like fruit loops.
Old creepy guys wont molest below this level.
HAL is a troll?
HAL is but the latest generation of the Over-9000 series. It presently appears, however, that anyone on FB who pokes fun at a comment for being obvious and devoid of innuendo recognition is apt to be branded a troll.
That’s very shallow, Hal.
Plus he won’t open the pod bay doors. I don’t care if he can sing or not.
Hal, I have a hard time believing that you know anything about quality failblog comments when you post gems like:
“Daisy daisy … on a piano built for two…I’m sorry Ludwig, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
Wow, that’s some grade-A, LMAO stuff right there.
Lol, dan didn’t lurk before he showed up.
Hey, Wilford. Lay off BFF. He’s the one dude I will stand up for before any other. I have a great deal of respect for this lad.
Judy, I think Dan/Wilford is referring to HAL.
Judy, I’ve always appreciated your loyalty!
But my comment was actually aimed at HAL, not BFF…I should have been more clear about it.
Thanks for the help Avis.
Anytime!
My bad – - so sorry for the mixup. Peanut butter fudge, anyone? I can put chocolate frosting on it, if you like.
I guess it’s a matter of taste, saladshooterdan. Who am I to judge? Perhaps someone who prefers to make comments about sticking your rusted tongue and stinky finger into someone’s anus over references to Beethoven and Kubrick knows more about quality FB postings these days. I had nominations for BOTW during the months before you started offering your blue gems here, and still I get calls to post more often — there’s one on this page — but it’s the equinox, seasons change, and there’s a different tenor hereabouts now.
Awfully self-righteous there HAL. We don’t really need your condescension.
Heywood Floyd: HAL, who the hell is sending this?
HAL 9000: I’m sorry, Dr. Floyd, I don’t know.
Heywood Floyd: Well, tell whoever it is that I can’t take any of this seriously unless I know who I’m talking to.
HAL 9000: Dr. Floyd?
Heywood Floyd: Yes?
HAL 9000: The response is, “I was David Bowman….”
… and flogger …
… and Chauncey Gardner …
… and TMI Service …
… and fuzz …
.
Bye bye, birdy.
That doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been acting like a sanctimonious asshat lately.
Did you guys hear something?
Anyway, the fudge is ready. One batch with chocolate frosting, one without (but made with chunky peanut butter.)
… oops, I forgot Horton.
Fuzz “hears” you, Avis, and will no longer bother to bother you.
Was I supposed to be surprised by that revelation? That cat was out of the bag sometime ago.
PROMISE?
Wow, that was a good one HAL. You really had us going. BTW, you should have told me you “had nominations for BOTW” sooner…that changes everything. I bow to the majesty of your Fail Blog credentials. You are the master of humor and I am your quivering disciple. Teach me thy ways, oh Lord.
But seriously, get over it. I have every right to post here, regardless of whether I’ve only been visiting this blog for days or weeks or months. I don’t disrespect the regulars. I don’t attack people unless I’m attacked (which is what got you into trouble). If my humor is offensive, then let me know nicely and I’ll apologize.
And thanks again for having my back Avis and Judy…
Dan, don’t waste your breath apologizing to him. He’s been gearing up for this for a while now. He has a bit of a superiority complex to overcome.
Then push him off of a cliff? It may help.
Only people that think in a perverted way would think that this image is wrong.
That would be almost everybody here…
He’s helping the kid with his embouchure…
Sex jokes are funny.
this comment… verbatim… should be found in every single fails comment section… forever.
Better than the “bone flute”…
Call me weird, but I’m more of a hairy banjo kind of guy
weird.
It’s a child-sized organ
Would that be a pump organ?
no, i believe it would be a pipe organ
…and getting a real trill out of it, too.
What movement is that?
Their movement was arranged by Cyril….
Beethoven’s 4th in a minor.
The strange lady with dodgy make up is too creepy and the guy with the knowing grin and oblivious small child on his lap is acceptable?
Just checking!
Ah, but one is real and the other is a cartoon.
Which is which?
The movement where your pants begin to tighten.
His 4th movement
That would be the final release, right?
Liberace for beginners.
Just add Chanda Leer.
And Candy Labras?
I think the fail is in the eye of the beholder here.
I second that.
NAMBLA totally agrees with you.
You shouldn’t be playing with little trolls, either.
It just goes to show that the incredible opportunity of having Ludwig van Beethoven come back to life to teach your kid piano can easily be made into a perverse fantasy of those whose minds have been encrusted with filth in the gutter since they were 13. Truly, we live in the golden age of society.
How do you figure?
Show your work.
Do not —EVER— Say that second sentence to me again. My algebra teacher already pissed me off with it too many times.
DO NOT say those last three words again. My algebra teacher already pissed me off too many times with it.
There’s no reason they couldn’t have put Beethoven sitting *beside* the child. It would have easily conveyed the correct message without any of the potential double entendre.
But that would ruin the nice duet they have going.
Italians duet better.
You have no idea.
They don’t have a piano bench, they have a tiny tufted stool.
Well something in this picture is definitely being tufted.
Trouble is, Wyde, that the artist who drew this saw fit to equip LVB with a leering face which has “I love shagging little boys” written all over it. To boot, the child has a frozen smile and flushed complexion which suggests he knows what’s coming to him. Throw in Avis’ tiny tufted stool and you have a recipe for a whole Failblog’s worth of double entendres. I think this is illustrator fail.
The trouble with wyde is, he never has anything funny to add to the comments. Nothing but complaints. He must have a very sad existence.
I think he’s just jealous and upset that his bottom was never tufted by his piano teacher.
Or maybe it WAS. Endlessly. For days. Weeks, maybe. Year after neverending year.
Poor wyde.
Maybe that’s why he’s so wyde
Now that you mention it, he does walk a little funny.
• Nope.
• As for the name, it’s derived from “Ope N. Wyde,” my first username. Don’t steal it, original things are so hard to come by nowadays.
*hears the recent cover of “Right Round” play*
Ugh…
• My bottom has never been tufted.
• I’ve never had a piano teacher, maybe because I don’t play piano. Did you get it? Good for you!
• So, you’ve seen every single one of my posts from the very beginning, from all of the ICHC sites (sans Lolcats/dogs, but that’s another story)? And, since you say what is “funny” and not, you have the right to say that? Fair enough.
• For crap like this, yes, I complain.
• The same “very sad existence” that compels you, and many others like you, to post about 20 times per topic, ensuing overcommentary and Reply Towers?
For the past few days, every one of your posts seems to be a complaint.
I don’t go to the comments sections of the other sites.
You’re the one trying to decide what we even get to see here.
They’re called nests.
• To support that claim, I assume you’ve seen every single one of my comments on every single post I’ve ever commented on from any ICHC site, and, since you are the God of Funny, and say what’s and what’s not funny, you deem none of my comments funny. Way to stalk.
• Not all of my comments are complaints; I only complain when crap like this “FAIL” is posted.
• The same kind of “very sad existence” that compels you, and others like you, to cram about 20 useless comments into a single post, many of which don’t deserve even one (yet get hundreds)? The same very sad existence that made you think, “Hm, since I’m the God of Funny, and every comment ever has to be funny, I’m going to grow a pair and anonimously reply to his unfunny comment and say many untrue yet HILARIOUS things about him!”? That very same “very sad existence?”
Sir, you are dead wrong.
If you want to reply to me reply to the more recent of comments. As it stand you’ve only repeated yourself, and not that well. It’s not that I deem ALL of your comments not funny, just the recent ones that have come to my attention.
And for the record, I am a woman.
I second the notion of Wyde’s unfunny comments.
Wyde, you’re taking things much too literally — Did you happen to witness the “JasonK” incident a few weeks back? It could teach you something.
Did Avis ever once say, “I am the God of Funny! Bow down to my hilarity!” No, she did not. There’s this little thing we all have: It’s called an opinion. There’s also this other thing we have: Freedom of speech. She can say whatever the hell she wants, even that your comments are unfunny.
Only a blind person would be unable to recognize the creepiness of his face the the FAIL. I suggest you get your eyes checked.
How the hell would you think that Avis is a male name?
Ummm. Emoom? According to the Baby Names website, Avis actually IS a unisex name. I was surprised to find that out. But that aside, I think I’ve been pretty clear that I am, in fact, a woman.
My biggest complaint (about Wyde) is that he complains to US about what gets posted here as a Fail. WE can’t do anything about the WTF-Extras. Those aren’t voted on.
The expression on his face doesn’t matter. You’ve got your mind set on his ‘intentions’ and you would’ve found the expression to reflect your predetermination no matter what it was.
*in a Butthead voice* Huh huh, you said stool.
Yeah, obviously no one on this blog appreciates your artwork.
Really? ‘Cause, even if it were possible, I don’t remember ever submitting any artwork of any kind on any ICHC site, ever. Why don’t you go look for it and bring my work back to me, ‘k?
You’re taking it too literally. By, “artwork”, he means, “what you have created” — AKA, your comments.
My… artwork? Why don’t you look for and show me this artwork of mine that I seem to have forgotten that I somehow posted on FailBlog, since we all know FB is the new deviantart, and since I really have enough confidence in the great community of FB to post artwork on it, since they’d never say, “OMG d00d j00 r t3h suxzorz @ art g0 hump a cactus ch00b!1!!1!”
Ummmm…. you do know that you are repeating yourself. Right? Even if it is day later.
Lighten up!
Yeah, no kidding. Sitting on someone’s lap used to be just fine, now someone’s got to find something twisted with it.
Troll.
What is wrong with this? The guy looks too creepy for you? Where’s the Fail?
His tie should be red, not orange.
He’s got the fingering wrong for that piece.
Yeah, it should be 2 in the pink and 1 in the stink.
If you listen carefully, the piano is out of tune as well.
That little kid looks creepy as hell…like he could be the spawn of that THING from the makeup fail.
I agree with you. I think the idea is that any child sitting on a man’s lap is being molested. I wonder when we as a culture decided that all men are child-molesters, or became so afraid of them that we made any contact between men and children inappropriate. I think it’s a damn shame.
I sympathize with you on this one…but you have to admit that there’s something sinister about ol’ Ludwig’s face that really makes me question his intentions.
And what up with the boy getting so excited about sitting on a dead guy?!?
Necrophilia at a young age?
He just enjoys stiffs, in more than one way…
-stares-
*cowers*
Hi Retaba!
I’m surprised it took this long for someone to mention such a sad change in society. I’m a child of the 80′s, and it’s amazing how things have changed since then. We’ve become so sexually “free” that any form of touch automatically is seen as sexual. And so, a boy sitting on a man’s lap is “wrong” (i.e. FAIL) and Beethoven (as depicted in the picture) must be a sexual deviant…because he is smiling, and because there is a boy on his lap. Is it the picture, or the minds of those who make this connection that is the FAIL?
I know, I know… I’m an a**hole and such… this is a humor blog, etc. Just wanted to add my two cents, whether you agree or not.
The soapbox is unusually crowded on this fail…
*bumps SadSociety of soapbox*
There. That’s better, for now at least.
*also inserts ‘f’ into above post, post haste*
Hey, be fair! SadSociety has a point. Don’t dismiss him so lightly.
Hey – wait a minute – where is Beethoven’s other hand???
Damn, I used to have this book when I was younger! Never noticed that lol.
That explains a lot, doesn’t it?
Shall I get the Freud books?
faster! faster faster! yes thats right you are a fine pianist johnny
Huh huh, you said pianist. *masturbates*
Don’t make me take your With away.
hehehe…
I thought you would get it!
A guy walks into a bar and sees a tiny little man, no more than a foot tall, playing a tiny piano on top of the bar. The guy says to the bartender, “That’s incredible! Where on earth did you find something like that?
The bartender says, “Back in the bathroom behind the toilet there’s a magic lamp. If you make a wish and rub the lamp, a genie will grant your wish”.
The guy can’t believe it, so he goes to the bathroom and sure enough, there’s a strange lamp behind the toilet. He makes a wish and rubs it, then all of a sudden he hears what sounds like a tornado.
He opens the bathroom door to see a million ducks rushing into the bar. “Oh no!” he cries, “I didn’t want a million “ducks”!”
“Tell me about it,” says the bartender, “I didn’t want a 12-inch pianist, either.”
Why would someone waste one wish on that!?
83.8 wpm!
Nice Cuddles!
Way to be Mr C!
*takes a bow*
Good joke, Blue. Made me laugh anyway.
I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when to my surprise I saw a man with a giant orange for a head walking towards me. Intrigued beyond description, I engaged the fruity fellow in a spot of light banter before I worked up the nerve to say. . .
‘Excuse me, but I can’t help but notice that you’ve a giant orange for a head’
‘Ah, I was wondering if you would ask that’ he replied ‘Well, it all started a year ago with the news my grandfather had died, and that I was to collect my inheritance. Amongst the family heirlooms, there lay a dusty lamp. Hoping I could make some money from it, I started to polish it, when a genie appeared.
‘You may have three wishes’ intoned the genie.
So I thought quicky. I wish to be a billionaire I said.
‘Buy a lottery ticket’ intoned the genie.
So I did. And sure enough my numbers came up. So I thought some more. What is all this money with no-one to share it with? Genie, I wish to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world.
Go collect your winnings intoned the genie.
When I go to collect the winnings, who should be there to hand me the cheque but Miss Skegness, truly there was never more beautiful a woman. We hit it off..’
At this point, my impatience had grew, and I was dying to know the answer to how he had ended up with an orange for a head.
‘But how did you end up with an orange for a head?’ I exclaimed.
‘Well’ he continued, ‘After we had spent many months cruising the world, exploring islands, and enjoying the pleasure of each others company. . .I came to make my last wish’
‘Yes, YES? What was it?’ I yelled ‘Tell me! Tell me!’
He calmly replied ‘I wished to have a giant orange for a head’
.
.
.
This waste of life was brought to you by The Moomin.
Toodlepip.
I don’t know if there’s something wrong with me, but I actualle laughed my socks off.
And I’ve just noticed how cold the floor is…
*SQUEEZE*
ActuallY…
Damn it! My brain’s not working properly right now.
Too. much. freakin’. work.
*Dies*
Uh, Mikey? I’d have crossed the street to avoid contact with the fruit-dude.
You’ve no sense of adventure.
I, for one, enjoyed that bit of stupidity.
I don’t think I have laughed so hard in months…. rofl
Michael Jackson win.
Why hello there! Would you like piano lessons free of charge? And yes, you’d have to sit on my lap
Can I face you while I’m sitting on your lap? *slurp, slurp*
I’m calling shenanigans on this fail.
I’m going to pistol whip the next person that says “shenanigans”.
Shenanigans!*Hands B2F a whip and a pistol*
Mmmm… pistol whip.
Now you know why I said Shenanigans
Hey, whats that place you like with all the goofy shit on the walls, and the mozerella sticks?
A supermarket?
The mozarella sticks to *what*, exactly–?
Hey Farva…
“What’s the name of the place you like with all the silly shit on the walls?”
Long Kesh
Give the man a break ok? Obviously he doesn’t not have a piano bench and is required to share the stool with the boy. Have you ever tried playing piano from the side? It’s very hard…
Have you ever heard of a double negative? According to you, he has a piano bench, but prefers having the boy on his lap.
I don’t not understand what you’re implying, O Cuddles.
I’m more concerned about the “share the stool” part. Does he have to use a plastic bag if he has diarrhea?
Hopefully the plastic bag ins’t clear, otherwise I’m out of here.
*reverses ‘n’ and ‘s’*
no, according to her, he has the bench, but is required by some outside influence to share the stool.
No no no. A piano bench is big enough for two people. He is sitting on a stool not a bench!
Yea, I got that, I’m not blind hunni. Clearly you didn’t re-read your earlier comment and pick up on your grammatical error
whoops, my bad. I fail
You are on failblog. lol *SQUEEZE* Cheer up!
*hugs Jenn*
*hands her a double margarita*
Happy Friday!
I have a ‘Jenn’ myself. My first-born. *Squeezes* to you!
It IS very hard, indeed…
She also said “Very Hard” Hehehe
this is only a fail because of our dirty dirty minds. it was probably meant in all innocence lol
i dont get it
I think your bling is blinding you. Take some of it off and they maybe you’ll see the fail.
That’s cos your bling is reflecting so much that you can’t see the picture.
I beat you!
*SQUEEZE*
*SQUEEZE*
I curse you mr. cuddles with a jinx of mass proportions.
You see Hammy? 2 seconds makes all the difference.
Hehehe. Now you see what that’s like!
In that case, all three of us must be really slow typists.
You mean the jam and Arthur trio?
You have to learn how to give and recieve.
Oh believe me, I do both pretty well
If we include Avis and Mookie and we can have a sextet.
That would be a quintet surely!
Mr Cuddles
Arthur
Avis
Mookie
Myself
Yourself
Yes… most definitely a quintet.
Add DrB. That will make it a sextet.
what? No santa claus? Or easter eggs? Hows this possible?
At the least it would be suite.
Anybody seen Judy? And what color are her eyes, anyway?
They’re blue. But beside the point, – - can I do the filming?
*inserts apostrophe in your dont*
That sounded wrong. I must get the innuendo machine fixed.
It looks like Beethoven’s gettin’ his innuendo machine fixed.
If you know what I mean.
I do know what you mean. And now look what you’ve done to the innuendo machine!
He didn’t break it did he. Dang, we need that thing.
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end know my intent though
Izzit fixed yet?
RE: “He didn’t break it did he. Dang, we need that thing.”
Actually, there was some innuendo in that comment…
You have to start from the assumption that any man who comes into contact with a child in any way wants to sexually abuse them, then the humour flows from there!
In Soviet Russia Classical Themes Play You
oh god, whoever thought that was a good idea is an idiot.
It warms my heart to see people praying on FAILblog.
Really, it does.
*heart bursts into open flame*
whoops.
It’s a sad comment on our society that this would be considered a dirty picture.
I actually have this book, and I never noticed anything wrong… UNTIL NOW.
Holy crap that’s creepy.
Hello, my name’s Chris Hansen…Why don’t you have a seat over there?
So, how did you happen to be here tonght? Lookin’ to get lucky, perv?
Ludwig, you old pervert..next time take a little girl into your lap
PedoBeethoven Seal of Approval!
Pedothoven?
The Pun-o-Matic gives “Peedoven” as a better alternative.
Peedoven I’d say !
Maestro Badtouch
Oh the joy of music!
I dun get it
same here
The reason u don’t get it is it cause your gay.
What don’t you get? The FAIL or the rest of the lewd comments on this page? IMHO, that ‘Beethoven’ looks like MJ..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOOMIN! Wherever you are.
(in a comatose sleep?)
Wow, now THAT is scary!
RT
http://www.online-privacy.pro.tc
This would be less disturbing but for the teacher’s creepy as hell smile
On top of the obvious, I thought that he had a limp damp lace hanky pinched in his fingers. Then I realized it was suppose to be a page of the sheet music book.
Beethoven always was a weird guy … but I never suspected him as a pedophile
This is more like a “Classical Athens” theme than their clothing suggests…
Failblog fail: this showed up as a g-rated only pic.
Beethov On This
lmao.
Classic Pedophile.
TOO MUCH INOCENT OR TOO MUCH SICK
hahaha, a boy sitting on the lap of a grown up, how funny is that?!
you americans are SO sexually disordered!
…
BRIAN PEPPERS IN DA HOUSE
lucky man!
It’s a kid sitting on his piano teachers lap. If we’ve gotten to the point where this is sexual, that’s truly sad.
That’s not Beethoven! That’s Michael Jackson!
I learnt to play the piano using this book. It’s still in my house, and I’d never noticed anything “wrong” with it!
Many of you are pervert. Didn’t you think they may just be there for music???!?
People always think of abuse when they see an adult and a kid in a relax atmosphere!…
Molestzart!
Pedoven!
this is confusing! i dont get it!!
INFINITE FA11111L!!!!!!!!!
Ah, pedophilia. The most classic of themes.
paranoia win
there is nothing in the image that suggest pedophilia.
i agree, although it could be ‘taken’ that way, it’s obviously NOT.
MY EYES, MY EYES! Everything is going black but maybe that’s a good thing. im202
PETAFILE
Boy seems to give consent.
I don’t get it…
This could pass itself off as an innocent ‘child sitting on adult’s lap’ moment if it weren’t for Beethoven’s creepy smile. It’s obviously not intended as such but it’s hard to look at this and not be a little creeped out.
I wouldn’t be creeped out, thats just people with inappropiate minds that call THIS a fail. I mean I sat on my parents lap when I was little!
Would your parents look at you as if they were deciding wether or not to eat you with their arm around you? Also, this is not the kid’s dad, he’s his crazy piano tutor.
disgusting!