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Cheezburger Network Blog
hej esben
yummy
That just ain’t right.
Im sorry but I think this is a win, the fact the he has a girfriend is a win, because there would be no chance to find someone like him around with the oposite gender
Well, I once knew a turkish girl…
*shudders*
was her brother him?
Her mother.
Her twin?
I don’t want to talk about that anymore! I don’t want to THINK about it! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!
*runs out crying*
Wait… I THOGUHT YOU SAID YOUR ANKLE HURTS!
YOU LIAR! I SENT HUNDEREDS OF GET WELL CARDS! HUNDREDS!
*runs out crying*
Ugh, all these crying men and that manscaped chest hair are making me reconsider my sexual orientation.
its the crying game all over again
it’s time for the passing of the torch
such elegance and beauty
Yeah, great. All these years of “stop this macho behaviour, admit that you have feelings too” and as soon as we do it’s also not right. Women!
Oh no,
it’s the sex wars all over again
*shudders*
Is sex a secret weapon or is it used boldly right up front, as in Nagasaki & Hiroshima?
And just what WAS that flaggy-looking thing those men were raising on that island?
His front area is like a love mirror. a very special love mirror.
So do you call that a hairt?
I’ve known this guy for years, This is Alexander The Poet! Look him up on the internet, this is part of his comedy act lol
i know this guy too- he used to have a lj, but it looks like it’s been deleted.
his poetry was so awful it was hilarious. boo that it’s gone now.
Who says he has a girl friend…. could be a guy… or a dog… or a monkey.
Or his mom…
There’s a good chance that this fail originated in Arkansas. We can’t factor out the possibility that his sister could be the one on the other end of the camera.
Technically, mom could be considered his girlfriend … if she’s female.
And I’m not sure what’s worst – that he did this in the first place or the fact that you can tell he thinks he looks hot. *gak*
he doesn’t need a girlfriend. a guy like him
might have just done it for the experience.
Probably a sheep.
eeeeeeewwww
I guess this is fail because… he had so much hair on his belly.
language, language…just spread the <3
The guy in the FAIL pic already spread the ♥ around…all around his belly.
The symmetry is just amazing.
I knew a turkish girl that used to spread the ♥ all around her belly.
AGREE!!!
<3<3<3
Hee…! I like seeing ♥ on the blog.
You could be doing more, though…
*hands Tigerwoman the wax*
I think I just cried a little, from the image of sheer pain.
LOL
He looks like a playing card =O
Yeah, a joker.
yeah the queer of hearts
Good one
The douche of hearts?
a Frog of fail.
He looks like he’s used to playing Solitaire.
and probably will for some time too.
He’s going to die an Old Maid.
yeah a no get any at all pokeman
*wispy whispering voices* Faaaviooo
*whispers* Yeeees?
A better valentine present would be a full permanent wax AND a cosmetic surgery on the face. Man, he’s ugly as hell.
Well, there’s nothing wrong with a little chest hair, just don’t overdo it. Granted, I wouldn’t be turned on by a man that… well-endowed
But no chest hair at all (or worse, shaving or waxing it) is just plain icky if you ask me.
I like a smooth chest on a man, myself. But I like ‘em young.
Mookie you like ‘em as young as Superman?
I like them about 36, right now.
Missed by two years – damn!
Which way? Over or under?
Are we still talking about age?
or haircut?
or naughty quarters?
positions?
Accessories?
Attributes?
Proclivities?
Aspects?
Facets?
large pecs?
Effects?
I have large pecs
Defects?
I was talking about your age but I’ll accept any answer you’re willing to give.
Then I say under and let you figure out what I’m talking about.
.
.
Under.
If you’re talking about what I think you might be, there are other options.
I meant my age! What were you thinking?
*whistles and looks around casually*
yea….. age. that’s what I thought you meant.
not me.
Missed by four (4) months! This morning my car’s window wiper stopped functioning and now this? I better stay in bed today.
*goes to bed, stares at calendar and shakes fist*
I’ve about six years to prepare myself.
what kind of 36-year-old has a smooth chest and doesn’t wax/shave?
The yummy kind.
not a fan of manly men, eh?
Manly is fine. I just don’t like hair in my teeth.
Why not? You can floss while fooling around.
There are better uses for my mouth, imho.
Pre-chewing food for baby birds?
That comment is even scarier than your new avatar.
*thinks*
.
sumptuous oration?
Sucking the poison out of snake bite victims?
I’m changing it just for you Mooks.
I’ve got a snake-bitten area you can suck.
♫ We’re men–We’re manly men!–We’re men in tights!
We roam about the forest looking for fights!
He’s gonna deflower her in the tower!
*turns clock back six months*
…and thus it is established that everybody present is in their thirties.
*has sudden feeling of strong bukkit presence*
Gimme nine days and I’ll join you there.
Aw… it’s a milestone for you.
I’m past that by 1 year.
I’m off to beachy head to celebrate
Really, I figured you to be younger than me?
Sssssht – she’s 29. Every woman is 29 for a couple of years.
Nope! It’s ok though. I’m young at heart.
I still feel about 12. I play at grown ups.
If I could stay at any age, I’d be 28 forever.
It’s all downhill from here.
Pffft. Soooooooo not true.
Yer 30s…yer doin’ it wrong!
Young I was, but now am old,
But I am not yet grown cold;
I can play, and I can twine
‘Bout a virgin like a vine:
In her lap too I can lie
Melting, and in fancy die:
And return to life, if she
Claps my cheek, of kisseth me;
Thus, and thus it now appears
That our love outlasts our years.
~ Robert Herrick
Man…those metaphysical poets really knew how to party.
“Claps my cheek” indeed…! You KNOW he was looking for a spanking.
The thing to remember while reading his works is that he was a vicar.
…”Thus, and thus it now appears
That we have spuds stuck up our rears”
Actually, I won’t be 30 for another decade… Does that mean I’m not wanted in this thread?
And a hair cut
two bits
2 bytes
When did Mike Myers grow out his hair?
He looks a lot different without the hockey mask.
Sadly, it can’t be Halloween every day. He looks like he gets up to some D&D the other 364 days a year.
“If there are any girls there, I want to DO them!”
EWWWWWWW! Run away! Run away!
NO! If he smells your fear he’ll attack!
win.
How could you resist those luring eyes?
eyes?
His heart flipped when he saw her.
You know what love is like: hair today, gone tomorrow.
Say it aint so folicle ole’ me.
*inserts ‘l’*
It’s been an L of a day!
Eep! Watch where you insert that!
He needs to have a heart-to-heart conversation with himself.
hey wait i’ve got a new complaint
.
ʇuıɐ1dɯoɔ ʍǝu ɐ ʇob ǝʌ,ı ʇıɐʍ ʎǝɥ
I’m hoping he puts a top on for a total eclipse of the hearts.
Two of hearts, two hearts that beat as one…
(earworm duel)
I believe that his heart will go on…
(we heard that quite often recently, but what can I do? It fits the fail and it’s the nuclear bomb of earworms)
Owner of a lonely heart. Ohh much better than a..
But don’t tell my heart, my achy breaky heart…
His Groove is in the heart…
Two of hearts, two hearts that beat as one…
*realizes that one has already been taken*
I’ll be in the bukkit for the rest of the day, theng-kew.
Two hearts,
believing in just one mind…
He’s giving ♥ a bad name.
You like me now?
Frank, I’m not gay! Stop calling me! I will never like you!!
It’s good of you to be so frank about your feelings.
You mean that he secretly likes wieners?
Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener
That is what I truly want to be
‘Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener
Everyone would be in love with me
Ah, the innocence of youth, when all that song conjured up was a cookout.
I just think Demolition Man.
Spooky!
jam, I’d like you to meet my nemesis Zurack, he’s brilliant and witty. Makes me laugh.
You’re yin and he’s yang?
I don’t think we ever agreed which was which.
Who was which? Who was what? Dunno which is correct. Hmmm.
Schizo cool how you both look similar!
See Mikey? I told you!
What did you tell him? That he has a double indentity?
I told him all moomins look alike. He called me a specicist!
Hmmm… well Zurack does have a slightly bigger nose.
Sorry Arthur, I stand corrected.
*grovels at feet*
*surrepticiously grabs ankles*
*grabs the Moomin by the ankles, pulls him up*
Thou shall never grovel, Lord Moomin.
*stands on his head*
*tries to wave*
*topples sideways*
Eep!
Oops! Sorry, I thought your mass centre was your nose. I didn’t know that moomins… impressive!
0.0
O great, now I have to view source for every moomin comment.
Who (you or Zurack) was which (the yin or the yang).
Thankyou kindly.
*squeeze*
*pops up in front of Mikey wearing a moomin costume*
*unzips costume, and out steps…a Hemulen!*
*unzips Hemulen costume, and out steps a Snufkin*
*unzips Snufkin outfit and out steps the Snork Maiden*
*unzips the Snork Maiden outfit, and emerges in all draconic glory*
*SQUEEEEZES the moomin!*
*unzips dragon outfit, which floats to the ground, empty*
*Blushes*
I’m flattered!
*shadoobies*
my brains been shattered
I can’t believe that Failblog would post a picture of a man with a heart-on, it’s disgraceful and pornographic.
It’s disheartening, I agree. And it makes you wonder what’s going on below the beltline…
(*Moomin squeeze*)
I hadn’t even thought about that
My heart’s not in this fail any more.
(*Mookie Squeeze*)
Don’t lose heart! Maybe we can style the hair on his head. Then he’ll be a heart-throb for sure.
(*is juiced*)
That hair over his shoulder isn’t from his head – it’s from his back.
*winces*
I bet you’d like to know what he has done with his pubic hair, don’t you?
Please DON’T tell me! Really… just don’t!
How the hell would I know? You’re the one to find out…
*closes door leaving jam and heartman alone*
*screams in terror*
bangs fists against the door*
LET ME OUT! PLEASE…
COME ON GUYS THIS ISN’T FUNNY!
*lights dim*
*blacks out*
*romantic music (loud)*
*camera films fireplace*
*wakes up in revovery position*
Who am I? Where am I?
Why is there a part shaved woolly mammoth hovering over me?
*turns on lights*
*screams*
How did that plunger get there?
Who are you? I think I have PTSD.
You want to see the doctor about getting some cream for that.
I don’t want any cream for it. I have a feeling the memory of the trauma would send me to Beach Head.
Y didn’t I insert a Y?
I like the beach. . .
It’s more of a cliff. The beach is at the bottom.
Ah yes, realisation just dawned. Sorry, being slow.
He mentioned it on QI, that was where I heard about it from originally. (My name is a transcript of the episode)
Sean Lock went to Beachy Head once
I live about 4 miles out from there. If I ever think about ending it all, I won’t have to travel far.
They do have people out looking for depressed sorts. The pub landlord is on constant watch for loners and the phone box up there has a direct link to the Samaritans.
It’s also a common place for passionate teenagers. Ahem… I don’t know anything about that of course.
GASP!
Do the splatting noises not prove distracting and put you off?
It’s a big cliff. The sound doesn’t travel that far!
Err… I mean, I don’t know *grins*
Aaaaaaaaaah! Busted!
Hahaha.
It’s getting hearter to comment on this fail, he keeps looking at me.
(*Sells Mookie concentrate. . . PROFIT!*)
it’s a spade!
(“neutering joke”)
It’s heartcore!
Just when I thought the blind-date couldn’t get any worse…I realized John’s extended visit to my bathroom was to use my razor for his nefarious purposes.
well just remember… love is blind.
Lust isn’t.
You don’t look at the mantle when you’re poking the fire, though.
Ah, but are you going to put your log in the fireplace if the mantle looks awful?
If you’re wearing the right goggles, sometimes the mantle just doesn’t matter as long as you’re going to get warm.
I like to toast marshmallows over an open fire. I don’t wear safety goggles though, how much damage can a marshmallow do?
I think it really depends on what you’re going to do with the mallow.
.
Bring anything else besides the mallows?
a cold, shriveled hot dog?
Lol Eis Ov Speidz :>
w00t bass clef!
Yeah, if it had been that other clef, there would have been treble!
Bass ist ftw! Bass guitar ensures higher sex quality
This is to wrong…
…as leaf is to tree.
Too right!
… the unrightable wrong
hearthly worth posting this fail.
At least you can’t say he isn’t original. But it would have been much better if:
1. He cut his hair;
2. He lost some weight; and
3. He drew the hearts on him rather than grew them.
4. he was against a more romantic background
5. he wouldn’t eye you as if he were gonna rape you
6. He had an eagle perched upon his shoulder.
7. He was swinging a UroClub.
8. He was naked.
(doh.)
The hair and weight don’t bother me as much as his ‘trying to be seductive’ eyebrow raise.
This has a cheese factor of 11. That’s as far as the dial goes.
All soooo very true!!!!! Lol!
true blue baby I love you?
Blue Who?
queen of hearts win
Does he honestly think this is turning someone on?
lauren, just admit you like it, makes you feel tingly
I call that a big WIN.
That is the bathroom in my nightmares.
What about the bathroom in Trainspotting?
I doubt you fall into a sea hell when you climb into this guy’s toilet though. Although I wouldn’t doubt that he will be looking for some butt ‘pills’ later.
i cna be first?!?!?!!!?!
The first to meet this guy alone? Sure!
Now our planet can never be saved! Earth, wind, fire and water would never touch this.
-reluctantly stares-
P.S. That face turned green would make the best sick-face!
If we get given prior warning we could put on blue shades?
*shuts eyes tight*
thanks for the arrows…
Just pierced your heart and made the juices flow, didn’t it?
Staring contest strategy WIN!
Seriously? ANOTHER picture taken from http://www.eatliver.com/ that I saw months and months ago?
Why do I bother coming back here?
Funny, I was just wondering why you do!
Are those things on his chest BOOBS?
Hearts, but close.
Are all Klingon women this ugly?
Hi People who’ve responded to this Fail!!!!!!!!!!!
LAWLZ
Hello!
*waves*
A young boy discovers the magic of the internet. How sweet!
I know, and we get to share this special moment.
Mikey, your Moomin cousin is a sarcastic sort isn’t he?
*nods*
A heart to heart conversation with face only a mother could love………Creepy as all get out…….Gives me the hebie geebies for sure…Like a psycho murderer or something.
O nices hearts !
http://www.agoravox.fr/article.php3?id_article=52890
He should get a job in a horror film, imagine him walking in and killing you, there is a knife under that hair of his……….i wouldnt like to have him as the last image i saw on this earth….. hey mookie, moomin, other cool guys…… dr.b if he is here
*never gets included on the cool people lists*
*pouts*
I got my own mention (see below).
I’m honoured!
Posh jam…
*includes pob on cool people list*
Woohoo! A German thinks I’m cool.
I’m a regular David HasselPOB!
I said cool, not GOD.
Right. Sorry. (“sheepish”)
Jump in my car, I wanna take you home,come on and jump in my car,
it’s too far to walk on your ow-own
. . .
Ah, c’mon, I’m a trustworthy guy
. . .
Oh little girl I wouldn’t tell you no lie
Couldn’t you care about peace in the middle east instead of singing? Cure cancer?
I worried about my own alcoholism first.
Awwww. Have a burger.
Ok, I will wait while you talk to the cool guys… Just wait here… Alone…
*includes Zurack on cool people list*
I’m doing this because the Moomin likes you.
Hello there!
*waves*
Imagine him doing a flirty tiger roar and clawing you with those paws. . .
I’d rather he stabbed me to death.
oh better say hello to jam, hello jam,
*tries to think of pun related to jam/marmalade but is stuck…*
Hello Punisher.
You could say something about:
conserve
sugar
pectin (my personal favourite)
raspberries
or even make up sandwich related jokes. All at my expense of course. No charge for you.
I jammed my brain thinking of good puns :/
I can think of some, but I want to preserves them for later.
Her personality has many fine aspics.
I’m as thick as they come you mean?
She’s berry sweet.
She makes me jelly-laugh.
It’s Leo Johnson! New Shoes…
Good god yes! The owls are not what they seem.
I’m seriously scared that the pattern continues as we get further south. D:
Maybe he changes suits as he goes lower?
Clubs on his junk, diamonds down the legs?
There’s a whole lot more fail in that photo than just the valentine-shaped body hair. a LOT more.
His eyes say “serial killer” and his chest says, “hey stupid look at my eyes.”
(Morning *yawn*)
Morning? I thought you were British?
Nopers, I am a East Coaster Yank
Ah, former East Coaster myself (born and bred). Mainly Connecticut (also New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts). You?
Ahhh a fellow New Englander! I’ve spent most of my life in Philadelphia, but was born in Baltimore. It’s cold here… :/
Hey, I’m going to Philly on business in April! Hope the weather is better then. I’m in Michigan now – bad weather, bad economy, just bad, bad, bad.
Raised in good ol’ VT my self. I’m going there in a couple of days. And just as the sun is starting to come out here.
This past weekend proves that someone is screwing with the Northeast. It was almost 80 on Saturday… *sniff*
Our springs are wonderful. I feel immense pity for Michigan because they seem to get the most news coverage of all the areas hit by the economy fail.
Enjoy the next few weeks of winter! Hopefully less.
No no no no no no no! Omg… that is hilarious.
You’re screaming already? Wait until he drops his pants…
iiiiiii just can’t resist that “come hither” look.. LMAO… iiiick
I don’t know if “come hither” is that look. He looks irritated…like the good people at the DMV…
“come hither, I have three katana at home we can play with…”
…
…
I think I know that guy… O.o
Eew.
By “know” you mean…
I mean he works at a restaurant I like… That I might not ever, ever go to again. D:
Have a heart! He’s got two!
that we know of… dun dun duuuunnnnnn
Bwahaha! I have decided that at least one of his hearts is in distress.
However, with so much chest hair, his back must really be special.
*ponders*
Then again, I think he might be doing something big for St. Patrick’s Day.
We’ll just have to wait and see
Pardon me while I go sign up for the Lesbian Club.
Alexander the Poet, author of “She Gave Me Wood.” Perhaps one of the best experimental performance poets of our generation.
My what pretty long hair you have
There should be an arrow pointing to his face as well to avoid confusion of a true fail.
oh my god.. you guys must be VERY bored.. incredible, how much shit you post here..
thank you for joining the “i’m bored, so let’s go post shit in failblog” cult, pookz
i might throw up. wait, i just did in my mouth. gross!
how’d last night’s dinner taste? lol oh gah!
Damn that’s creepy. *shudder*
This is *much* worse than wearing your heart on your sleeve.Slight aside: Is there any way to communicate to the people who run this site that we don’t need arrows to find the fail?
[Loz]
This is a perfect thread for my heart-shaped box!
[/Loz]
…*misses Loz*
I love her like a sister.
The chest-heart could be cute, the happy trail-mirror-heart…no! That’s DEEP HURTING!
That’s Alexander the Poet. He used to open for my husband’s band Evil Adam a few years ago. Google him.
That’s seriously disturbing.
Isn’t it about time you changed your shirts, walrus-face?
I’m sorry but there’s no fail there…He shaved is body in order to make his hairs have a shype of normal heart and reversed one…what’s the problem ?
Were the arrows really necessary?
I mean, everything ABOUT this guy screams fail, let alone the hearts of scary man hair on his torso clashing with the scary girl hair thrown over his shoulder. *Gags*
I’d call that more of a WIN than a FAIL. If the good lord has gifted you with abundant body hair, why not make the most of it?
He didnt form it, hes so cool it just grows in that way.
Where is the fail? I think he pulls the look off well.
Of course, knowing his personality would make or break the sex appeal. But with a certain personality type, this could be hot.
Does anyone else think the hearts make his stomach look like an angry face, with his nipples for eyes and the bottom heart for a mustache?
For some reason I think of a slightly more attractive long-haired Jack Black.
Must be the whole “Neanderthal brow” he be sportin’. Xd
He has two hearts. Does that mean…he’s a time lord? Oh, Doctor, what’s happened to you? This regeneration is just not working out.
tis guy’s comedy is bad
At least he’s creative…..
there needs to be an arrow pointing at his face too because THAT is a fail
Hahahahah!
That’s just, just, just sick, sick and wrong. SO, SO WRONG!
That’s Alexander The Poet! I e-know him. Google the name. So worth it.
What? No clever design shaved into his back hair too?
Blech!!
ten bucks says it’s a Line Trap.
Fail forhead, fail long hair, fail everything
my husband NEVER needs to see this picture or he will do it! *Shudders*
DEUCE BIGALOW MALE GIGOLO….
Oh my God! It’s Alex the Porno Poet! With his famous heart on!
I actually know this guy…. woah.
CLINGON!
How come the only guys I ever meet are either gay or this guy?
#167
“Don’t, don’t you want me? You know I can’t believe you, when you say that you don’t need me!” Insant fal. Ima get muh bukkit naow.
OMG
girl or boy?
i know whos NOT getting laid on Valentines day
he’s got an outy!
LOL
facial expression fail