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herpes heroes
I think the frown face is a nice touch, yes?
So did Superman get herpes from the kid?
I don’t think so; He’s faster than a speeding bullet and STDs have the 5 second rule, right?
Not only that, but Herpes can’t travel into phone booths. Only toilet seats and toothbrushes.
Don’t forget door knobs.
So it’s kinda like hot potato? Get enough people to play and no one gets hurt.
enjoy your phytophthora infestans
Ever since the famine, I’ve lost a taste for them…
.
Could be the thought of herpes though.
To me this isn’t a fail. It’s an honest attempt at an apology! And who doesn’t love cake?>
I don’t think that’s a cake, I think it’s a giant chocolate chip cookie with frosting.
That’s not a cake, it’s a spacestation
the cake is a spy
The cake is a lie
Rather eat pie?
It’s a trap!
The cake is a pie.
I knew it!!!!! It was a lie!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the caek is a lie
i eat my sandwiches on rye!
whats the icing made out of? ………………. more herpes
best game ever
and yes the cake IS a lie
Let them get herpes. Let them eat cake.
i think it would be better if they gave pie instead… pie is alot better than cake
Cherry pie might apply here.
*std’s are transmitted by vaginas,
vaginas are used in std transmission,
cherry pie is a vagina reference*
STD’s are also transmitted by penises.
so a banana pie?
then he should have givin her a sausage…
‘greed. How are you supposed to apologize for something like that, anyway?!
Poor wife who would have to be in the roughest sex ever.
somebody was touched …
just not sure about the nice part
If it weren’t on the nice part, nobody would have caught anything.
touché
i just hope it wasnt from a rapier
since thats not nice touch
At least you get a cookie for the inconvenience!
Touche`
En Garde!
*feints*
*Reposts*
*ripostes*
*fails to DragonWriter for the third or fourth straight day*
*is glad to know someone is keeping score*
i wonder which bakery did this cake……
Is the cake apologizing for giving someone herpes?
its just a form of viral advertising
What’s next?
“Sorry for the hemoragic fever?”
“Sorry about the Ebola”
“My Bad”
But I’ll still respect you in the morning.
Cake?
Finally, I can buy an accident kid cake instead of just a dumb card.
Don’t eat this cake! It will give you herpes!
“My cake is ‘D’o!’”
“out of hope of all but my
share of the feast”
LOL flogger! That’s just wrong (but oh so right at the same time)
The cake is apologizing for the herpes you are infected with after eating the cake.
You can have your cake and get infected too!
let them eat pathogens!
Off with his (smaller) head!!
not necessarily smaller… depends on how bad the infection is.
My cousin had that… calls it “Cabbage Kak”
It’s safe to eat as long as you leave the wrapper on it.
But then you don’t get the frosting.
I think it’s related to another fail that came out today… this is what blowing certain inflatables will do to you.
Only if someone else used them first.
Oops.
a time when you really wish the cake was a lie
lol! The cruelest of dessert-related jokes.
I believe some donut think this is funny.
They’re pudding the wrong emphasis on the whole thing.
We cannoli hope they won’t share it with others.
That would make them tarts.
this disease is no trifle-ing matter
Unfortunately it is very easy to catch when you are pie-eyed.
…and frittering away your life.
Yes, you mousse be careful.
C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER (and only several hours late)
huh? looks below, NO FAIR!!! i cant combo break a commend string that has branches >:(
I commend you for that observation.
I comment on that observation.
WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN and WIN!!!
XD
just curious… Which 2 dessert puns didn’t win?
Yeah.. comments got posted before I could ‘WIN’ them as well. My apoligies.
Apologies. Spelling is hard.
But cookies are yummy.
*gives Nicole a cookie*
Is there an inscription on the cookie?
Indeed, they find muffin funny about this at all.
You might say it frosts their cookies.
♪ Icing of the wonder of it all ♪
need some antibiotics for that confection?
I don’t think that type of confection can be treated with antibiotics
Oh, dear.
at least its delicious!
Oh dear, oh dear indeed.
At least they have a conscience!
Where are the candles? Hmmmm???
Candles? Congratulations, your herpes are three years old?
threeve to be exact
Happy birthday dear herpes, happy birthday to you!
Herpe birthday to you. . .
Now close your eyes, make a wish and blow.
*closes eyes*
*whispers* I hope he’s immune.
*blows*
*Cries*
You don’t bring me flower. . . anymore. . .
It started tenderly, but ended in a sore did affair.
Turns out he was a scab.
Ignorance was blis(ter).
Pus ooze gonna get hurt when you make rash decisions
Is this from the guy in the previous fail?
that actually makes some sense.
It means the hair styling may have worked. . .
I don’t want to live in a world where that happens.
*catches taxi to Beachy Head*
But which activity are you going up there for?
Spring Break?
Depends how well I shave my chest in the back of the taxi.
Less hair, more aerodynamic!
Don’t be sad. I thought you were going to shave in heart shapes. I’d push you off myself if so.
Don’t shave and you’ve a better chance at activity number 2.
Yeah, but it naturally grows into the shape of prancing unicorns and rainbows. It’s a lose-lose situation.
(Note to self, never go to Beachy Head)
Prancing unicorns and rainbows are acceptable in hair swirls. Hearts are out!
(Note to Moomin: you’re not missing much by not going)
Hurrah! My time to shine has finally come!
(Note to jam: Thankyou, I shall bear that in mind)
He could always wax himself into a man-o-lantern.
…or the Jack of Hearts.
that gun is really starting to scare me now
This gun?
O o
/¯______________________
| IMMA FIRIN’ MAH LAZOR!!!BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
\_¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
Yours is bigger than mine.
(I stole it from wolfgangmurzel2 from way back. Sssssh)
Murzel?
Oopsie. Sorry wolfgangmunzerl2.
no prob!
just happy that…
O o
/¯______________________
| IMMA FIRIN’ MAH LAZOR!!!BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
\_¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
It’s Betty’s Beretta.
How many rounds that Betty have?
I don’t know. If you had the models’ number you could check.
But I don’t have the model’s number. All those drinks bought and nothing to show for it!
(Models wont visit my love nest below this level)
I just phoned her for you. Here’s what she said.
“Betty Beretta FS92 is not able to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone.”
Beep.
I Sig.
Thanks for checking!
It was totally worth it though!
Indeed, we got a cake for it! YAY!
I wonder if she baked the cake herself.
Mrs. Fields has herpes?
Famous Amos gave them to her.
Famously.
LOL!
Could she charge him with a salt and battery?
She dropped the charges, but kept a chip on her shoulders.
*has Robert Conrad flashback*
She folded them in with his other tainting qualities
I think you are trying to sugar coat it.
Go ahead, I dare ya.
Damn it! I have to stop answering the phone and concentrate of refreshing.
i never answer concentrate of refreshing
i prefer cranberry puree
Could I just use a semi-sweet confectionery?
He gave herpes to Sara Lee already…fellow should keep his “Nabisco” to himself.
Can you still get Sara Lee? I’ve not seen them for ages.
I’ll take hand made over general Lee any day!
.
(Morning. Hi now, bye now, gotta fly now, have a lash in my eye now. Ackshully, I’ll say it’s just the sandman)
Depends whose hand. . .
.
(Afternoon. Have fun wherever you are!)
Oooh, and you’re one of the cool people.
Of course! nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee!
Jack Fultons used to stock them but most Fultons I know have closed now.
I don’t know Fultons, I’m too far west I think.
How far West?
Everyone knows Americans have the best sweets. Thats why we are the fattest country.
That’s no fair, post Sara Lee back over here!
Sure! you can have all of mine, I don’t need the extra weight.
it all started with Betty’s Crocker
Wow, fail.
Sorry about the hairpiece?
Sorry about the hair pees.
shouldnt’ve gave her piece a chance
Despite the grand apology cookie she received, she never managed to regain her peace
All we are saying is give piece a chance.
(Sorry, had to do it, given my avatar…)
its ok, ’cause ev’rybody’s talkin’ ’bout Revolution, Evolution, Masturbation, Flagellation, Regulation, Integrations, mediations, United Nations, congratulations, and herpes
Normally what you wrote would have taken 8-10 posts.
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.”
sorry to change the subject but i was wondering if somone could help me. the time that i post is diferent than what my time says. so i was wondering if anybody knows where this website is stationed.
What else should I be,
All apologies.
*Brando voice* You disappoint me, velvet. You’ve disappointed the family.
Our net connection is super slow today across the whole office. I think our provider is messing with the lines before it starts raining for a solid week.
*normal voice* Then it’s alright and I have to apologise to you. Here, I baked a cake for you!
Ummmm…thanks? *eyes the cake suspiciously*
.
Here…have the first slice.
I…umm…just had lunch and I’m allergic to…cake. But thanks!
Mmmm-hmmm.
.
I’ll go put it in the breakroom. These people here will eat anything. Literally. Some of them creep me out.
Is “breakroom” an euphemism for Lolcats?
It’s a room set aside for breakdancing and bodypopping, hence the discoball.
You’re still free to use my hash cookie idea.
i’m sorry i’m bad,
i’m sorry i’m blue,
i’m sorry for all the things that i did to you
I want that cookie but I don’t want the herpes that go with it.
eating it might make your mouth sore
That would be 1 simplex side infect, HowSoeVer, there are others 2.
7 Layer Herpes?
Looks like one lay ‘er did it.
I like it how the cake colo(u)rs match the apology.
I like the crude drawing of the virus with the frowny face.
*looks at herpes virus through microscope*
I’ll be damned! They really DO have frowny faces!
You’re the one who got the herpes?
No, I took the sample from your mum. Figured you wouldn’t mind.
As your herpetologist, I recommend some petting later.
Of the “heavy” variety, I presume??
With good arms in lusty stroke…
It carries a brave form. But ’tis a spirit…
I might call him
A thing divine, for nothing natural
I ever saw so noble.
I already have a problem with animals in hats. Just sayin’.
“sorry about the herpes” … but wanna meet up again later for round 2??
Might as well, nobody else will have sex with you. And can’t let all that frosting go to waste, either…
mmm’mmm Good.. now excuse me while i go cough up a lung…
I think you’re sort of confused about the symptoms of herpes, there.
no.. i think i’m infected with SARS.. or the flu.. definitely not herpes
I can think of several things to do with frosting that would keep it from going to waste.
That suggestion may meet a frosty reception.
yes.. cover the guy from the previous fail’s face with it…
Eat cake and enjoy your herpes!
I had to give that cake to your mother
FAIL Blog has no PM support.
Does the frowny face have hairplugs?
I think Kilroy just stopped by… And there he goes!
unibrow implants
In my experience i’ve found apology pies to generally better received
Arf!
Oh boy, another cake! I’ve never been to a herpes party before. I wonder what it’ll be like?
A pain in the ass. And elsewhere.
Don’t be so rash, Arthur!
Yeah! He’s obviously oozing with enthusiasm for the party!
Don’t let so much sarcasm seep into your tone…
I shall bump it down a notch!
I did it all for the N00kie…
^ gets n00kie c00kie ^
You can take that cookie… and shove it up your – Aaaactually, thanks! *Nom*
I honestly find it cute.
Sorry for the shitty comment
Meh-ka lekka hi malaki tae mo. You owe me a wish.
jambi mekka love to a hiney ho and getta cake
is that what turned him green?
The song ‘Down and Dirty’ by Y&T just came on…. How appropriate.
Big Lol from my side
I love that it’s a bumpy cookie.
*eats one of the chocolate chips* Mmmmm!
Now that’s some good herpes!
I think this might actually be a joke cake for a radio bit. There’s a radio show in Atlanta called The Regular Guys… one of the guys has a bit called “Bake Me a Cake” where he goes to bakeries and tries to get them to write silly things on cakes. He once got a cake that said “Thanks for getting an abortion” or something, I think…
That’s an incredible lame joke. If I was the owner of a bakery I would write stuff like that on cakes – as long as I get paid…
100rd
Anyone who’d fall for that must be simplex-minded.
*Clap*
Did you just give Rotcod the clap?
Ooops!
I had a bad morning and was a bit crabby.
*Orders cookie for Rotcod*
AHAHHAHAHAH!
Even the cookie face can’t hold eye contact.
Did not notice that until you pointed it out. Pretty damn funny!
Bwahahah! Then the cake should say, “Sorry for the Herpes and Headache.”
First…
Mmm that looks yummy! I would suffer through some herpes to eat that!
Have it say, “Sorry about the typos”.
)
(56.4 wpm
You can do better then that Mr. Moomin!
U can haz tiepohs?
My very first lolspeak attempt and I already hate myself!
haha i refuse to type like that… I just don’t have it in me!
It was so bad I’m hating myself too!
lolspeak is another language. It’s okay to dabble in other languages, right?
*thinks*
Can’t believe I just said that. Pardon me, I have to balance some bread on my head with a pickle in my mouth.
Hahahaha.
You reckon that’s the punishment? It sounds about right.
pickle surpriiiiiiiiiiiise!
I’m slowly getting worse.
You have your ups and downs I’d say.
It’s old age catching up on me, too old to learn new tricks.
Nine more days, then you’ll be old.
I resent that!
I resemble that!
(me too)
…I will reply…
…I will survive…
…I will conspire…
…I will aspire…
I won’t be too old to grab you by the ankles young man!
Hang on a minute… he’s older than you are!
If you don’t stop replying at the same time I do…
I’ve got a gun… I’d like to see you try something!
I have one too. We could re-enact some Western movies!
The good the bad and the ugly.
I bagsy ‘bad’.
*plays harmonica*
*shoots Liberty Valance*
…and that’s where my knowledge of westerns ends.
Hehehe! Good!
.
But “young man”? I dunno…
Is what jam says true?
You’re 34 aren’t you Arthur?
See what I mean?
So we’re both really slow typists?
I am!
Off topic chatter
*pulls out electric prod*
Keep it moving.
This autumn… half seventy.
*cries*
…randomly!
I get the feeling I’m missing something.
Chest hair?
Sorry…
Only kidding, couldn’t resist!
Gah! I’m being bullied by OAPs :p
It’s a puzzle, Mikey.
I’m not old enough for a bus pass yet. Though it would come in handy!
You’re down with OAP (yeah you know me)
Going down on an oap did you say?
Hahahahahaha. Arthur’s still down with the kids.
Makes me feel younger…
You’re only as young as the person you feel. (So they say).
Have fun guys.
See y’all come back now y’hear.
Tell that to Gary Glitter.
Does that mean you are off?
So Superman is 12?
I’m off yes… can you smell it from there?
I must do something about that!
*SQUEEZES Moomin*
*SQUEEZES Arthur*
*Squeeze*
*waves*
*squeeze*
Bye!
I need your opinion! For the multiplayer part, there will be a chat room…Do you think it would be cool to have the WPM after every line you type in the chat box? It wouldnt be super accurate per say, but might be neat
Ooh, that would be pretty cool. It’ll give you an indication of your freeflow typing speed rather than just copying. I’m assuming there would be a difference in speed?
Pretty neat idear.
Yeah, you should type significantly faster when its coming from your brain and you can look at your keyboard
Obviously it would lead to competitive chatting to! Who can chat the fastest!
ugh, my brain is still asleep.
43.8
this site has turned into cake wrecks
sounds delicious!
How’s this a fail?
A life long friend and a cookie.
I call that a WIN!
One sylable off the haiku
nicely done other wise.
May I suggest that you remove the “A” from the second line. The meaning stays the same.
Failblog Reposts are Fail
I tried to get a cake at P&C that said “Sorry I Raped You” and they wouldn’t let me!!! D:<
This is beyond fake. Failblog Fail. How is this ranked so high? Has anyone else not seen this a thousand times? Happy Valentine’s Day – Sorry for the herpes? Jackasses here.
QED
Great pic!!
That’s not a lizard. >O
omg, where do I get one of those?!
What, herpes? Truck stop, most likely.
You guys are all failures and have no life. I hope you all know that.
I think you should stop referring to yourself as “you guys”.
and you should stop using the words on your cake for your username
This was obviously a joke. It’s not a fail unless it was a mistake or an accident or something in that absence of thought nature. Peeving me OUT!
wtf? this is a win not a fail, i wish i was that creative.
“News is like herpes, if you’ve got it than why not spread it around?”
Just sad… :C
Don’t forget, tomorrow is pi day!
In all fairness, I once asked someone at a bakery what was the strangest thing they’ve ever put on a cake, and she told me that once a group of guys came in looking for a cake for their friend. Instead of “Happy Birthday,” they asked for “Congratulations on the Sex Change.”
I like the spicy taste of herpes-blister-liquid and whats left over when the blister skin is gone. that shiny bit of bare flesh, still contaminated with the herpes virus. it tastes like tin foil kissing someone who has it.
fail, amirite?
herpes are you kidding me? lame
is this the cake that Rihanna gave to Chris Brown just before he beat her?
It’s certainly possible.
Well, you never know… I’ve seen some pretty discriminatory herpes in my time.
But this is really a condom fail, IMO.
It looks as though the frown has a little herpes sore.
if cake is youer friend, but it says herpes on the cake, but the cake is apologizing…
does that mean herpes is your friend?
Oh yeah, that’s going to make everything all better.
oh snap
Who ate all the pies?
That pigeon in the corner! Blame it all on him!
I’m sure he was forgiven XD
If I knew getting herpes meant getting a large cookie cake I wouldn’t have
been so careful.
#168
Obviously fake. Even tho making that cake is no big feat.
=]]
pwned D:
What r herpes?
a cake would’ve been so much more appropriate
i think this should be a win, the dude defo deserves a high five for that!!
This is a WIN. Imagine this delivery to your mother in-laws birthday.
this has to be a practical joke.