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Cheezburger Network Blog
IM so hungry now!
EAT SHIT BITCH!!!
nah, i don’t like your mom
Reply Win
Reply OWNS!
Yeah, that was a pretty good reply
Hopefully one day one of those kids will share Joe’s shoe size.
That reply was the bomb.
say wutnao
But your mum loves me
your username is so original…
it translates to “Your Big Feces”
yes, i know what it means. I’m just being sarcastic. I happen to know his language because i speak it.
Back to your bridge you evil troll, you have no power here.
That photo was taken in Oshawa ontario. We drove by it so many times having a giggle over it
Lmao this is acutaly my dads restraunt he did it as a joke. people would acutaly come in and tell him about his sign then sit down and enjoy there meal or drink it was a funny way to get people to come in
I went to Durham and this sign made my day every time I saw it.
they eat kids for breakfast
AND YOUR MUM EATS ME!!!
And for free! Someone buy that man some shoes!
I’m just not sure though how they plan to use that bar.
That’s where they debone them.
I hate it when I get a fingernail.
….or a shoelace. The feet are a bit stringy.
There hair still on my food, the cook should have shaved or skinned this piece of meat first.
Mookie acts spookie =)
For free!!!!
FREE!!!1
wii!!!
Free wii?! With glee!
What about me? I can’t see! Please help thee.
Not now i have to pee behind the tree.
But the bees behind the tree will sting thee.
I’m sorry. Thanks for putting things into perspective for me. Here I was thinking I was all cool posting random things on the internet, and I didn’t even realize I was harming people with my homosexuality and the fact that I live in my mother’s basement. Society needs more people like you, out there every day for the benefit of mankind, telling people who desperately need a life to go get one. Thank you on behalf all homosexual basement dwellers, failblog, and, in fact, the whole internet. You win.
In soviet Russia kids eat you!!! (for free on wednesday)
Nothin’ as good as Breakfast in America…
How about fulfilling every sexual fantasy one has ever had and getting rich while doing so. In, hmmm, Slovakia.
You doing great right up until Slovakia.
^*inserts were*
^*inserts wee*
sex wee?
sex oui?
Oui madame! Je t’adore.
♪Be still my beating heart
It would be better to be cool
It’s not time to be open just yet ♪
All this because all I can say in French is ‘I am a small yellow banana’.
Voulez vous couchez avec mois, ce soir?
.
Yay! Please do! Most french I know is nonsense sentences to!
Il y a beaucoup des lapins dans le plage.
PS (The banana confession probably made me happier than it should have)
Je suis une petite jaune banane.
Et voila!
Merci beaucoup! C’est magnifique!
*blows kisses and applauds*
(Is a happy moomin)
*bows and exits stage left*
*Meets Moomin backstage*
*SQUEEZE*
Drat! The Moomin beat me by a minute.
Let’s tell him what he’s won…
A brand new *SQUEEZE*!
Too hard! I wee’d a little
[grannycatflap]
sex wee.
[/grannycatflap]
Doing so in Slovakia would probably be a nice way to fulfil every sexual fantasy one ever had, and get rich.
But I miss the point between this and Breakfast in America.
Really? There it is.
*points*
D’oh!
*steals Arthur’s “Really?”*
*replaces it with a “Whoop!”*
*runs off*
I feel like an idiot now. I just spend $20 to have someone eat my kids, and now I learn that I could’ve had it done for free. Damn.
ID SPEND $20 ON SOME WEED!!!
Sounds to me like you already have.
Sounds more like crack to me. But to each his own, I guess.
Still, there’s that sense of accomplishment when you have to pay for something. If it was free all the time we’d take having our kids eaten for granted.
That’s why I always charge $5 for oral.
That’s eating proto-kids, it’s specialised so you should be charging.
*wondering where Avis is…*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DRAGONWRITER!!!
Cheers! Whooo-hoooo!
Yeah! Happy B-day, here’s your present:
*hands a package with free kids inside*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRAGONWRITER
WOOOOOOOO
*Birthday Squeeze*
HIPHIP!…..
Thighbone?
Patella?
Nutella?
Falabella?
salmonella?
You can get that from eating kids as well?!? It’s a bloody disgrace, is no food safe now?
Umbrella! (Eh, eh, under my umbrella, ella)
*dancing the tarantella*
Happy Birthday DragonWriter!
*eating mozzarella!*
(in breakfast, with the kids)
Titio, is that a cheese omelet!?!?!
Hope you’re having a great time, DW. We’ll keep the party going for when you make your grand entrance, of course.
Let’s prepare a surprise party for her!
That could be fun too. Maybe someone (POB?) could burst into song upon her arrival. We can all add a verse. ^_^
*stakes out hiding spot*
Isn’t cheese omelet redundant?
It’s a sad day when the recession gets so bad even foodstuffs are jobless
No, not all omelets have cheese.
Really? Cheeseless omelets? I thought the whole point of the omelet was that you had the cheese to keep in all the other stuff.
As long as there aren’t cheeseless nachos or cheeseless quesadillas, I suppose I can cope with the idea of cheeseless omelets.
Actually, my understanding of omelets is the eggs. As long as you break the eggs (with the gem and the white) somewhere (somewhere you can mix) with salt and then kinda fry it , but with a little ammount of oil, you get an omelet.
Obviously you can add cheese, or ham, salami, chicken meat, onion, parsley, or anything else you might like.
This is the way omelet is understood here in Brazil. I know nothing about the truth out there (different than mine).
Femur’st all wish a happy birthday to Dragon.
*sings happy birthday, Stevie Wonder style*
Happy birthday, mighty Dragon! All the best to you!
Please to be having a happy birthday honored Dragon.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRAGONWRITER!!! *BIG BIRTHDAY SQUEEZE*
Hee….! Thank you, everyone!!
*big squeezes and smooches for all!*
*Massive Birthday Squeeze*
Happy Birthday!
Have a Great Day and get well soon!
*mwah*
*adds big HUGS too*
Happy Birthday!
It has to be a happy birthday when I have such friends as all of you.
Proficiat Dragonwriter!
Bonne fête!
Dearest Dragonwriter,
A most joyous day to you on this, the anniversary of your embarkment on the wondrous and most strange sojourn known as life; a most momentous occasion indeed.
Dragon, I wish you all the best on your birthday. Hope your are soon “atop the weather”!
Hugs & kisses!
Thanks, Judy! My fever is down and I’m on the mend. *hug*
Hee, thanks Sidhe Cat for getting the party started! Dragon is a little under the weather. I’m sure she will be touched by the spontaneous celebration when she arrives.
.
Happy birthday, babe.
Overwhelmed is more like it! Thank you all so much…I feel quite beluffed.
Here…I’ll share my cake with you all!
Thanks darlin’…I’m hoping you have a special birthday celebration planned for tonight, just for the two of us.
*wicked grin*
I hope you find the arrangements ap-peal-ing. I’m making your special Egyptian margaritas, so I can work on my responses to you.
*POUNCE!!!*
Best. Birthday. Present. Ever.
*smoooooooooooooooooooooch*
I can’t stop smiling.
Oooh! It worked… YAY! I’m glad you liked it. *blush*
Now I can’t stop smiling!
*SMOOOOCH!!!!!*
I LOVED it. All of it. Though I must say, my favorite part was at the very end.
*clink*
Let them eat kids.
Let them play with the kids!
Sick sick sick! Eckk…
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
WARNING! DON’T FEED THE TROLL!
He feed himself with kids
‘Sokay. They’re Free Range kids. Look at that big pen they have to run around in.
A big pen? That can’t be write.
(Hello stranger!)
Yeah, he accidenty his -is. (I ink it was a mistake).
(Hello gentlemen!)
Those are chewy – marinade for at least 24 hours.
(Hello fine people!)
A raccoon must have taken the end of it, they have bic appetites.
)
(Morning Mookie! I think he’s been and gone
How silly do I feel?
*squeeze* You feel nice!
*blushes*
*SQUEEZE*
You’re exceedingly nice to be squeezed by!
*squeezes both*
Ah…that’s better.
*squeezes the Moomin*
Ah…that’s – butter?!
I can’t believe it’s not!
The trans-fat is emitted from the trans-port…
You batter believe it!
eww – not baby batter?
You can’t batter babies, you’ll get arrested.
It does make them nice and crispy, though.
Crispy small fries?
Bad taste, Mikey. Really bad taste.
*giggles secretly to herself*
Unbelievable! This is not butter!
*shakes head in disbelief*
This is an outrage.
Scandalous! Those who are responsible have to go to jail for that.
*hides behind the moomin* I didn’t do it!
*backward squeeze*
That was awkward.
Welcome to my life.
I want to know if they also have a sign that says “No shirt, no shoes, no service.”
Yeah. I had kids in a real dive of a joint once – undercooked. They were practically still tossing a tennis ball around out in the back yard!
*offers DrB a hop-scotch*
I spy with my little eye…something beginning with…
*SLURP!*
And ending in. . .
*BURP!*?
I’ll lettcha know when I’m ready to end.
.
Okay. Just say the word from now…
Ready. . .
Steady. . .
PUMPKIN! Aaaaaaah! I didn’t say go.
Pumpkins have feelings too, you know.
Ummm…
It’s “Shoeless Joe’s” so it’s rather “No shirt, shoes, no service”. I wonder how many people eat there in the winter.
Actually, it’s quite popular in the winter. People walk there uphill both ways. And they like it!
That reminds me of the good old days… Seriously, EVERYTHING was better then.
Everything was butter too, no belief required, we knew it was butter.
Even though we had none. Or anything else.
And we used t’live in shoe in’t middle o’road.
Are you a tyke too?
Nope, just a dirty rotten scoundrel.
His name is Michael Caine, and not a lot of people know that.
He’ll Get Carter’ed off before long then.
The man who would be king would never let himself be treated like that!
Alfred that he did. Zulu’k shocked about that Moomin.
Noooo! Alfie-nd who did that to him and make them pay!
To make them pay they’d have to get an Italian Job. Maybe they should just go back into Educating ‘Rita’.
*tried to fit Rita in nicely but failed*
If you’d care to examine the Ipcress File, you’ll see that the Cider House Rules state that the conversation is going to get clumsier from now on as we try to fit in references.
We shall believe in the days of butter.
And in the land of butter and honey (used to be milk but it’s gone sour).
The milk took a churn for the worse?
And worship the era of popcorn.
That man has issues. I can only assume they stem from a sexual attraction for his mother.
I’m sure he’s supporting his mother in spirit.
This is the right place for octomom
Just leave me alone with the bad jokes! I love my kids. ALL 114 of them.
I love them all too!!!
Especially with applesauce and salt
Free? Don’t think so. I expect payment when I bring you kids to eat.
Only if they’re 12 and under, though. Those teenagers can be tough.
And you don’t know where they’ve been.
And it’s easy to choke on their braces.
And they have weird chemical additives.
And they’re so oily.
And they have a smokey flavour.
And have way too many hormones to be healthy at all.
(GOOD MORNING!!!)
*blinks*
The taste of rebellious youth has always left a sour taste in my mouth.
Yummy.
It looks cold. Can I have some free kid gloves?
Handle with kid gloves
Handle with kid gloves
Then you learn the lessons
Taught in school won’t be enough
Put on your kid gloves
Put on your kid gloves
Then you learn the lesson
That it’s cool to be so tough
—
Rush, 1984
So would you bring kids here to be eaten, or take them to the baby dump?
Or after they’ve eaten, do they re-define baby dumps?
The baby dump is right next to the main sewage playground.
pull my finger to find out
*pulls finger*
*pulls finger*
hey, that’s not a finger!
don’t stop
*sprays the screen with Weetabix then roffles*
I thought it would be porridge considering grannycatflap is trying to spread his wild oats.
I can assure you it was Weetabix. Now I’ve got to get my screen wipes out.
Eek! She’s had her weetabix!
*cowers in fear*
why won’t anyone take me cereal? jam, you should have knwn to keep those screen wipes at the ready at a time like this
I’ll can’t take you cereal when you bran’d the blog with hilarity.
*Is having a gnarly system failure. Removes ‘ll*
*sees your ‘ll and raises….some more kids after last sunday*
Self raising kids?
Weetabix and porridge… my god…you’re all English… or Irish.
*loathes porridge*
With porridge, I’d have assumed Scottish myself.
Hehe, I’m an Irish Yankee, so when I go home, I get force fed porridge.
I swear they use it to insulate houses…
It’s more of a plaster coating surely. Everyone knows it’s broth for insulation.
It’s like the Greeks laugh at us for eating humus, they use it for grouting (Joke courtesy of Sean Lock)
They may laugh at you for eating it but I’ll stick to Weetabix thanks.
FINE! You can stick with your Weetabix, I’m off to stalk Sean Lock.
Oh… now I see
tee hee
Spreading the oats? That’s socialism!
No wonder they went wild about it.
nice remarx
Marx reloaded?
you eat the blue kid, you forget about ever going to that diner
What’s with the red kid?
they’re burny, think they might be adolescents
This may seem like a good deal, but you have to think how much they will charge you to eat your kids on a day that isn’t Sunday.
30 with 15 errors and thats my final offer
….SOLD!!!
61.6 with no errors, down on yesterday but up on last week.
that’s quite impressive for a Moomin with only 1 digit on each hand!
*tries to shake hand, but withdraws offer with a puzzled look on face*
*changes mind, pulls digit* *cowers*
*tophat falls off*
Dammit grannycatflap, now look what you did!
Sorry about that. *picks up tophat and returns it noticing the writing inside*
BTW
Moominpappa (Muminpappan) – orphaned in his younger years, he is a somewhat restless soul who left the orphanage to venture out into the world in his youth but has now settled down, determined to be a responsible father to his family. He is almost always wearing his black top-hat, inside which is painted, “M.P. from your M.M.” to differentiate it from all the other top hats in the world. Moominpappa also lived on a ship with three Hattifatteners for a few days, observing their behaviour.
Thankyou
Are you a fan of the moomins too? The hattifatteners are truly terrifying, even more so if you touch their barometer.
Big fan of your work, although I prefer the more recent failblog
appearances to the TV show
*speechless*
Thankyou!
I far prefer your work here to League of Gentlemen.
*squeeze*
Is that DAAAAAVE????
Thank you very much!
*squeeze*
of course I blame failblog, not my lack of typing skills, for my poor performance at work
Got caught with cream on your lip, eh?
dammnit! you see! this manning of the cat flap is not an easy task! critter having a real run of the place today.
*puts down a saucer of milk*
granning of the cat flap surely?
oh yes, silly me, where are my thoughts today, must be a storm on the way
*checks the hattifatters barometer and promptly has part of penis bitten off*
*replaces penis with saggy boob, whistles innocently*
*looks on in amazement*
Wow… look at the size of yours!
it used to be bigger before the great barometer maiming of 2009
Bigger than a saggy boobee? I reckon mine is bigger than yours.
I got 106 when the text was from Alice in Wonderland. Otherwise my best has been in the 50s. What throws me off is when the text throws in words that I didn’t anticipate, forcing me to stop and think about what I’m typing, which slows me down. Conversely, with the Alice in Wonderland text, I could anticipate what word would come next, making my typing much quicker.
Wow, thats a pretty big difference though. Did you have the Alice in Wonderland text memorized from before?
That’s really crazy…I got 71 or something like that…and I thought I typed fast…. *thought wrong*
Ha, beat all you bitches. I got 17.
Win! Dammit, I need to try harder :/
I could teach you my skills if you want.
*bows to the master*
No, but the Alice in Wonderland text is written in a certain style. I wasn’t familiar with the particular passage, but I was familiar with the writing style, so it was easy to anticipate the text. (It also helped somewhat that the average word length was shorter.)
Do you want me to tell you the meaning of his username?
I don’t get what the big FAIL is. Seems like A Modest Proposal to me.
Zing! They have to be Irish.
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back,
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back…
:: ribbit ::
Does this place offer a kosher selection on Sundays?
LOL, Kids are great as long as you boil them first! LOL
RT
http://www.privacy.at.tc
Good old shoeless. That’s been what the sign said for years. This is a VERY long term fail. Always meant to take a picture, but alass I’ve been beaten to it.
WIN!!!
I h8 kids
Say it isn’t so!
The recession gets desperate.
Know that Jonathan Coulton wrote a song about Kenesaw Mountain Landis (and Shoeless Joe) in which he sings that the latter “killed and ate some babies”? So I’d call it both fail AND win.
Most people won’t even do it for a million pounds, so it’s great they’ll do it for free!
This is the second thing I’ve seen on failblog near my house. Maybe I should move?
Not at the Shoeless Joe’s we go to!
I GO TO THE SCHOOL RITE BY THIS SHOELESS!!!!!
ITS A MASSIVE JOKE AROUND HERE, BUT IS ALMOST 6 MONTHS OLD NOW!!!
Say it ain’t so, Joe…
nom nom
suck dick
can someone tell me where this place is?? i wanna go there!!!!
At least they don’t charge. They do it for free! LOL
Winston Churchil who said,”I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.” Not sure if he was joking or not…..
And people blame pedobear!
Sigh. Obsolete usage for “eat” and “eating” is literally “to serve food.”
Would have been better if it said “No shirt, no shoes, no service.”
I know where this is! Its between Orno and Whitby, isn’t it? They changed that sign some time ago, but I’d know it anywhere. I loved driving by that every week on my way to Pheonix Stable. *high five* My first recognizable fail.