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Animal Transportation Fail


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Submitted by Simon H

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» 604 Failures in Communication

  1. JasonK says:

    Now your animal gets fresh air…and gets hit by a truck.

  2. FIRST says:

    first!
    I’m the winner!

  3. yomope says:

    third you loose

  4. m3 says:

    LOL FIRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST

  5. Caesar says:

    would this work on SUV?

  6. LaidbackSimon says:

    MonsterJam… xD

  7. emmure says:

    sideswipped

  8. CIS says:

    OMG im 12th!!!!! look at me i’m a blind troll that can’t do anything in life!!!1!

    • Zurack says:

      Yes, I know, it’s pretty obvious, but thanks for reminding me!

      • CIS says:

        Sorry, i just had to say that… the troll plague has taken over my mind

        • Zurack says:

          Heh, no problem, it happens to most anti-troll people. Now you just have to DIE DIEIDI IDLOLOLOLO LONOOOB NOOOB NOOBO NOOBL LLOL!O!L!O!L!OL FAILZ!

          • BondFan4518 says:

            *whisks Zurack into nuclear bunker three thousand miles below the earth’s surface*
            Zurack, you may communicate with us with the phone in the bunker.

            • Zurack says:

              You are inside a dark, small room.
              You see a phone.
              You try to get the phone, it is attached to the wall.
              You start using the phone.
              Don’t know what “Call BondFan4518″ is.
              You start to feel hungry.

              • Aja says:

                > SAY WORD

                • Zurack says:

                  You say “Word”. Congratulations.

                  • BondFan4518 says:

                    BondFan4518 does not understand message and slams down phone, muttering “darn prank – callers”.

                    • Zurack says:

                      As you search through the room you find an apple.
                      You eat the apple.
                      You are not hungry anymore.
                      You notice a door made of neon.
                      You try to open it, it is locked.

                      • Zurack says:

                        You notice a key in your front pocket.
                        Get which key?
                        You get the key in your front pocket.
                        You use the key in the door.
                        The door is unlocked!

                        • BondFan4518 says:

                          Alarms sound.
                          Armed guards are on their way.
                          What do you do?
                          A: RUN
                          B: RUN
                          C: RUN

                        • Zurack says:

                          You open the door.

                        • Zurack says:

                          You hear an alarm, you try to run, but the way is blocked, there is a wall of earth and rocks in the way. You remember that you are under the ground.

                        • BondFan4518 says:

                          Armed guards burst into the room.
                          Your only escape route is through that air vent.
                          What do you do?
                          A: ESCAPE
                          B: STAND THERE AND DO NOTHING
                          C: RUN AROUND WAVING YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR SHOUTING “DON’T SHOOT I’M A MOOMIN!”

                        • Zurack says:

                          You try to figure out where the Armed guards came from.
                          You cannot figure it out.
                          You make an angry face.
                          You look at Armed guard.
                          An Armed guard flees from terror.
                          An Armed guard draws a sword and attacks you for 10 damage.
                          Don’t know what “Attack Armed guard” is.
                          An Armed guard attacks you for 11 damage.
                          You are bleeding.
                          You punch an Armed guard.
                          An Armed guard is stunned!
                          You escape through the air vent.

                        • Zurack says:

                          You are in an air vent.
                          You try to get a guard. There is not such a thing here.

                        • hammykins says:

                          You are in an air vent facing 43 degrees east.
                          You feel a slight draft.
                          A rat is gnawing on your leg.
                          >GET RAT
                          You collected a rat.

                        • Zurack says:

                          You load the game.
                          You are in an air vent.
                          There is an exit to the north.

                        • Zurack says:

                          You block your IP address from hackers trying to make you die.
                          You go north.
                          You are in an air vent. There is an exit to the north.
                          You go north and exit the air vent.
                          You see a control room. There is a distracted man watching a screen.

                        • SneakyNinja says:

                          >Beat Man

                        • Zurack says:

                          You start dancing.
                          The distracted man is not a distracted man anymore.
                          The man says “So, you managed to beat my guards and bypass my complex traps, but you still have to…”
                          You kick the man in the face.
                          The man dies.
                          You see a control panel, it is a map. You notice a room named “BondFan4518″.

                        • The Moomin says:

                          It is a room with a view. The view to a kill.

                        • BondFan4518 says:

                          You approach the room.
                          You open the door.
                          You enter the room just as you see a figure whisk away in an elevator, shouting “So long, my moomin friend!”

                        • hammykins says:

                          Let’s dance into the fire!

                        • Zurack says:

                          You see through a window. You see a Kill. It looks angry.
                          You use a control panel.
                          You press a red button. The Kill is incinerated instantly.
                          You notice a red button below the “BondFan4518″ room.
                          You press the red button below the “BondFan4518″ room.
                          Nothing happens.
                          You see through a window. There is a pile of ashes.
                          Your eyes are closed involuntarily. After 10 seconds, you open your eyes again.
                          You see a frail-looking man. You read “My name is BondFan4518″ in his white shirt.

                        • BondFan4518 says:

                          A helicopter hovers overhead.
                          A voice calls from the helicopter “Hah! You have only destroyed my double! You can never destroy me!
                          Armed guards approach, with guard dogs and armed vehicles.

                        • plussingaswhich says:

                          >USE RAT

                        • hammykins says:

                          The rat runs away.

                        • Zurack says:

                          You eat a rat in your pocket.
                          You feel a supernatural force.
                          You are thirsty.
                          You jump and drill through three thousand miles of earth, rocks and petrol.
                          You are in the surface. You see a blue helicopter.

                        • Zurack says:

                          You wait for something to happen, nothing happens.
                          You get some rocks from the ground.
                          You throw a rock at the blue helicopter. The rock hits a Pilot in the head. Pilot is stunned!
                          The helicopter starts to fall.
                          BondFan4815 is terrorized.

                        • Ridley Scott says:

                          You hear screams as the helicopter plunges to the ground, bursting into flames on impact.
                          You see a charred figure struggle to stand up, and he croaks “you may have beaten me today, but you may never beat my-”
                          You kick him in the face.

                        • Zurack says:

                          BondFan4815 dies.
                          You are in a totally desert desert.
                          You save the game.
                          You wait.

                        • BondFan4518 says:

                          A dancing frog appears.
                          He sings “Hello My Baby, Hello my darling, Hello my ragtime Gal”
                          You eat him.
                          You are bored.
                          You start drawing pictures in the sand
                          You giggle at the naughty picture you just drew

                        • Zurack says:

                          You finished the game.
                          You failed to blow up the secret base.

                          Score: 47/100 Try playing again to discover the 10 different endings!
                          And stay tuned for Fail Adventure 2!

                        • Zurack says:

                          Achievements: 2/10

                          1 – ???
                          2 – ???
                          3 – ???
                          4 – ???
                          5 – ???
                          6 – ???
                          7 – Become a superhero.
                          8 – ???
                          9 – Eat the dancing frog.
                          10 – ???

                        • BondFan4518 says:

                          You are in the bunker.
                          There is a phone with “Call BondFan4518 and tell him you’re hungry” written on a sign next to it.

                        • Zurack says:

                          You eat the sign.
                          You are starting to hallucinate.
                          You call BondFan4518.
                          You say “DO YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN KEEP ME HERE FOREVER? I WILL DIE OF STARVATION, AND THEN I WILL NOT BE TRAPPED ANYMORE! HA! I WON!”

                        • BondFan4518 says:

                          You hear a “ping!” as an elevator arrives.
                          Ten armed guards step out of elevator.
                          You wonder why you didn’t notice the elevator before.

                        • Zurack says:

                          You say “Say away from me! I will ki… kil…” You collapse and faint.

                        • BondFan4518 says:

                          You wake up strapped to a table.
                          You are in a laboratory.
                          A mad scientist cackles as a scary looking machine thing looms over you.

                        • Zurack says:

                          You try to say something, but you are too weak to form a word.
                          You try to move your arms and legs, you are defenseless.

                        • BondFan4518 says:

                          BondFan4518 appears
                          He says: Zo, mein Moomin freund, ve meet again. Now you cannot escape mein viendish trap! AHAAAAHAHAHAHHA!

                        • Zurack says:

                          You say “B-Bond… Fan… Bastard…”
                          You try to break free, but to no avail.

                        • BondFan4518 says:

                          Suddenly, the A-team burst through the wall.
                          Mr. T breaks the straps, picks you up, while punching several guards and BondFan4518
                          You escape the lab

                        • hammykins says:

                          You see a barred window above you.
                          A bird appears and whispers a message to you through the bars.
                          Unfortunately, the window is three stories up and you cannot hear it.

                        • fuzz on the concept says:

                          >GET ROOM

                        • dilettante says:

                          It’s a Choose Your Own Text Adventure Exquisite Corpse!

                        • fuzz on the concept says:

                          Yeah, as in, choose a dead horse and beat it over 9000.

                        • dilettante says:

                          They can put that horse in a sack and let traffic beat it?

                        • fuzz on the concept says:

                          Well yeah, with their 2009 Viper horse powers.

                        • dilettante says:

                          Sssssssssssssecretrariat

                        • Guy says:

                          The rat jumps out and kills everyone.
                          It turns on you.
                          You get in the helicopter.
                          You don’t know how to use a helicopter.
                          You move the gear stick forward hoping it will work like in the movies.
                          It doesn’t, you crash and burn.
                          Fail.

                          *****GAME OVER*****

                          *kicks arcade machine and hands controls back over to Zurdack*

  9. fluffy the fish says:

    It really should have another hole for when the dog is shitting with fear.

  10. Emma says:

    I’ve seen this before somewhere – isn’t this an ad from the ’40s or ’50s? You know, the good old days, back before people knew what a lawsuit was, and pets were still treated as animals, not wittle babykins with his designer dog seat and matching collar…

  11. CIS says:

    warning: at high speeds, your dog’s body will go like *SQASH* in between the sides.

  12. tosser says:

    They made this after their first model for children failed to generate good publicity.

  13. Aja says:

    *SQTM*

  14. Daughter says:

    or crushed by a guard rail…

  15. Aja says:

    That dog’s been sleepwalking ever since.

  16. jameshogg says:

    Inspired by Batman and Robin no doubt!

  17. Joe says:

    And running into walls…

  18. narazhai says:

    I think the more interesting thing about this is that the driver is white. I thought we got over white-supremacy.

  19. Joe says:

    Color him in?

  20. emmure says:

    SIDESWIPPED T BONED DRIVE BY BITING

  21. Jan says:

    Ah .. Good Old Times ….
    i actually transport my son like that.
    that want him in my car

  22. j says:

    Not only good for transporting your family dog — but in the event of a side impact, also contains that pesky gore splatter and makes a convenient body bag.

  23. blik says:

    lol open the door

  24. Ragidandy says:

    This fail seems to have disappeared from the failblog main page for the moment. Is that not odd? I reset my cookies and cache, but it isn’t there anymore. Curious indeed.

  25. Rawr says:

    If you have an accident with that……

  26. emmure says:

    late

  27. rush2112 says:

    “puppy go bye bye”

  28. Gigitsu says:

    what if my car doesnt have a runningboard? Or is that why we have a trunk now?

  29. Dylia says:

    It’s really sad that–currently 64 comments in–that no one has taken into consideration how cars were built back into the ’40s & ’50s. This would have been no big deal in an era when there were very cars had seat belts & the ones that did were lap belts. Children (my dad included) rode up front on their mothers’ laps.

    Back then, the outlook was that the bigger your car was, the safer it was. There were no crumple zones, no airbags, no anti-lock breaks, no power steering, no nothing.

    • Sammy says:

      No shit?

    • Padraigh says:

      And this is related to having a dog riding outside your car how?

      Also, none of those things improve safety so whatever.

      • Dylia says:

        You have obviously never been in a significant car crash, because they do a world of good.

        My point was that people would not have considered such a placing of the dog on in a sack on the the running board any more dangerous than putting a luggage topper on the roof. Times were different then. Pets weren’t treated like children; they were treated like animals (which they are). Besides, running boards were much wider than what we find on the SUVs & trucks of today. There was plenty of room for all but the largest of dogs to lie or stand in relative comfort on that space. The only discomfort for the animal–apart from a collision, of course–would be in the case of bad weather or getting a little chilled from the wind when driving at speed.

        • Sammy says:

          What if the doggy needed to #1 or #2?

        • DogBitez says:

          Pets weren’t treated like children; they were treated like animals (which they are).

          That’s like telling your adopted son he’s less important to you because he doesn’t share your genes. A-hole. Some animals are THAT important to people… best friends, children, guides. Humans are the cancer on Earth… not the other animals. (Did you forget that we Humans ARE animals, too?) Putting some poor creature in a sack, attached to a speeding vehicle, with no means of communication or escape is f-ing torture no matter what decade, Dylia.

      • arimareiji says:

        The point was that these were the days when people didn’t worry about minor little things like “What if you’re in an accident?”

        Actually, I think this one is a safety win by comparison with the maroons who let their dog run and jump around the inside of the car while they’re driving. Huge distraction, which makes an accident a lot more likely. And if/when one happens, Fido’s going through the windshield anyway – so everyone is more at-risk.

      • loufail says:

        Back in the ’40s roads did not have curves, and with an average of a car per 1 million of population there were no accidents. In those years dogs were harder and rubber tubing was softer. Dog sack was a great solution for those families with more than 10 children.

        • plussingaswhich says:

          Indeed.
          Back in those days all dogs were the size of horses and made of solid iron,
          no-one feared for their safety and quite right too.
          All cars were made from stone blocks, they were at least as large as
          submarines, dogs were strapped onto said cars
          with leather straps and brass buckles. All children wore woollen
          undergraments, it was all very, VERY SAFE.

          • BondFan4518 says:

            I feel like I’m listening to Abe Simpson.

            • plussingaswhich says:

              S’all true, I saw a documentary.

              • dilettante says:

                Grampa: “Hey, the dog’s dead.”

                Bart: “Grampa, he’s not dead.”

                Homer: “Dad, you shouldn’t say the dog’s dead when he’s not.”

                Lisa: “It’s not fair to toy with people’s emotions like that.”

                Grampa: “He is dead. I’ll get a shovel.”

                Marge: “Well, he’s not dead, but he is awfully sick.”

                Grampa:”Oh sure, the old man’s off his rocker. If Grampa says he’s dead he must be alive.”

                Lisa: “He IS alive, he’s wagging his tail.”

                Grampa: “That’s only nothing. Dogs wag their tails for hours after they die. I’m tired of this conversation. Let’s talk about something else. I’m going home.”

        • You forgot the the 45MPH speed limits and Dad always wore a hat and smoked a pipe as he drove with the window down. Driving fast enough to hurt the dog would make Dad’s Hat fly off or his pipe go out!

    • plussingaswhich says:

      The bigger your dog was the safer your car was?

      The more crumpled your dog was the safer your children were in the front?

      The safer your lap was the more very your car was?

      Em.

      Sorry.

      *lies down in darkened room*

    • Aja says:

      You lost me at ‘outlook’.

    • EtymologicalDisaster says:

      Ya. But it could really scritch up yer paint job a good one….. Try to beat a four-dog night for safety, Ralph Nader!!!

  30. sterling says:

    that is a great way to kill your dog!!!

  31. I love looking at things like this. It makes me feel both nostalgic and proud that even if it doesn’t seem like it sometimes, we really have come a long way…

  32. AJ says:

    Wouldn’t this basically… Puree` your dog if you get into an accident?

  33. azi says:

    Why is that a fail? Its actually a great idea.

    • Steven says:

      Finally, someone who uses logic. This is no more dangerous than letting your dog ride inside the car, and it saves you the trouble of the dog getting dirt in your car or scratching up the interior. Plus, and it is sad that I have to explain this to people, the running boards on cars back then weren’t anything like the tiny platforms on SUVs, they were about a foot wide and you could easily stand on them while the car was moving, meaning that any car getting close enough to damage the dog would also end up hurting the people inside. Why does everyone have to be a hippie nowadays and get upset over stupid things?

  34. Kristopher says:

    WIN!

    Its a great way to mount rabid attack dogs on your vehicle.

    The last thing you want is to have a rabid dog in the vehicle with you.

    If some pedestrian, bicyclist, or hobo gets in your way, just hit the button and loose the hounds. A well equipped vehicle should have at least four mounted on it.

  35. Mizana says:

    That kinda looks like a good idea, if you have a flat board on the bottom of the sack. Dog might shit it’self though if a simi goes by though…

    I’d so buy that =O Now if I only had a car to put it on…

  36. emmure says:

    doggiebag

  37. poundworld says:

    It seems a good idea

  38. kacky says:

    I hope nobody really did this. doggie’s legs would be all broken from smashing up and down on the running boards.

    • Alcina says:

      I don’t see the dog’s legs would be any more broken than the legs of a human standing passenger on a bus when sid bus was doing 60mph…

  39. lucas says:

    omg that is actually a good idea!

  40. Phaet says:

    Why a fail? It actually looks pretty useful. It can work.

  41. Seriously says:

    Like, LOL,!

  42. Sercio says:

    dick kick

  43. raul says:

    Can this be applied to humans too?

  44. jake says:

    that is the worst idea for a product i’ve ever seen

  45. tim tim tim says:

    I haven’t read all the 200+ comments, so perhaps someone has already made this observation. But isn’t the dog going to suffer a severe concussion or perhaps a bad case of broken-neck once the driver opens his door?

    • RankMyTyping says:

      Isssss that going to be a deal breaker for you?

      • The Moomin says:

        It’s certainly a dog breaker.
        (PS 55wpm. Am I being stupid or have you recently added the section that tells you what the text was from?)

        • RankMyTyping says:

          Umm I think I added it about two weeks ago. Thought it added a little extra. I am adding stuff pretty much every day. I am working on multiplayer part now. As soon as it is done we are battling! :)

          • The Moomin says:

            I like it, I had wondered what I was typing from before.
            *slaps Jon with velvet glove*
            I challenge you to a duel! :D

    • Doorbell says:

      “I haven’t read other people’s comments because there are too many, but I still want to add a comment that is useless since somebody already said what I’m going to say and I also expect people to read my comment even though I don’t read theirs”.

      People like you are the reason message boards are a complete havoc! You should be ashamed! Don’t post again until you’ve read all the comments on this website!

  46. weeeee says:

    i don’t like dogs. this is a win

  47. bogie says:

    I betcha it’ll work for the nine year old… Gotta figure out a way to roll up the windows, because he’s a little noisy…

  48. Durgess says:

    Those things actually work well. We don’t use one on our dog, he gets the backseat, but my retarded younger brother, he has to stay outside drools and yells too much and he fits in perfectly. Little bastard looks forward to it!

  49. Outback Jon says:

    A guy I know rides his dog around in the saddlebag of his motorcycle. Check the link for a pic.

    I think my dog would LOVE this. I wonder if I can still find them.

    • BondFan4518 says:

      Your dog will not love it once you’ve opened the driver side door and his head flies off (check the illustration for the position of the dog’s head).

      • Avis says:

        I’m a little more concerned with what the driver is doing. It’s pretty clear he’s not looking at the road.

        • 2wellread says:

          I noticed the danger of decapitation (to the dog) right away, but you’re right, what IS that guy doing? It could probably get him decapitated too…

  50. John D'oh! says:

    Inevitable sideswipe fail!

  51. Aja says:

    Picture posted at 10:00 am, first comment 11:01 am?

  52. sam-the-man says:

    Spelling fail: it’s sewn not sewed.

  53. TheWatchman says:

    The Watchdog is in position.

    dadadadadadada *Watchdog* dadadadadadadada

    *piff* *paff* watchdog beats the car that was nearly rushing into you.
    dadadadadadada *Watchdog*

  54. Achi says:

    Hey, the first side impact air bag!

  55. FailBlogger says:

    WAKE again, Teutonic Father-ages,
    Speak again, beloved primeval creeds;
    Flash ancestral spirit from your pages,
    Wake the greedy age to noble deeds.

    Ye who built the churches where we worship,
    Ye who framed the laws by which we move,
    Fathers, long belied, and long forsaken,
    Oh, forgive the children of your love!

    There will we find laws which shall interpret,
    Through the simpler past, existing life;
    Delving up from mines and fairy caverns
    Charmed blades to cut the age’s strife.

  56. cairnage says:

    These comments are always so un related. LOVE IT.

  57. rafael says:

    eu gostei :D

  58. Raiden1312 says:

    LOLWUT

  59. Graeme Ellis says:

    I like how everyone is calling Zuraks picture a troll. its a MOOMIN people! Sheesh…

  60. My dog would hate me!

  61. ShadowMaster22 says:

    And when you slam the front door when giving your dog a ride for the first time… (guillotine, anyone?)

  62. Wesley says:

    How is this a fail? The stinky dog stays outta the car like it should!

  63. Andy says:

    I see the fail. It says right on the description of the sack.. “Sewed.” It should say “sewn.”

  64. ebbbs says:

    the most humane way to get a roadkill

  65. Simp says:

    I love this sack. I had a really stupid dog and traveling with it was worse than inquisition. Now I have this sack and, unfortunatly, the third dog… I know it is sad, but I am not a mass of bruise.

  66. concerned... says:

    According to the picture, u’ll decapitate the dog everytime u close the car door…

  67. Lumpy says:

    Other than the dog’s head being where the door opens, this is a win. Who want’s dog ass on your seat?

    *shudder* Gross.

  68. colinthebox says:

    hanging from a caboose

  69. Ruukasu says:

    When was this printed? Looked like someone learned the hard way more than 60 years ago.

  70. Maiden! says:

    i hope no one was dumb enough to buy that… and anyone who uses it suffers! and the people who invented it suffer! muhahaha *disappears in a puff of smoke*

  71. Zachary Zoldan says:

    Fail? more like Epic WIN

  72. Jakius says:

    So this is what Sky Mall used to look like?

  73. timmy says:

    open the door

  74. bob says:

    where is the fail?

  75. gadzookz says:

    How are you suppose to swing your car door open without whacking its head?

  76. tenn734 says:

    its a pippa garner cartoon from car & driver, you nitwits. its a fake product. OP fails.

  77. mikki54 says:

    I’m sure this joke has been made already but I don’t feel like reading through all these comments… :P

    The funniest part to me is the part labeled “grommets.” This kinda does look like something Wallace would invent to put Gromit in, in case of trying to catch a zombie rabbit or the like.

  78. swsws says:

    hahahaha the dog would suffocate if the car was speeding on a highway

  79. Lancer says:

    Not to be a failcrasher, but it looks like this is a MUCH older advertisement for something which clearly didn’t do so well anyways.

  80. bushputz says:

    Any one up for a round of ‘Crack the Whippet?’

  81. fjw says:

    dog loving fail

  82. Mike Jecks says:

    This looks like an early, outdoor version of an airbag, doesn’t it? I mean, it sort of might work . . . bit messy, and the idea of air slowly collapsing is naff, but on the other hand, there’s no explosive inside the car, and let’s remember everyone used to smoke in those days.

  83. Quyen says:

    this is just cruel! animal abuse!! :(

  84. Bojo says:

    There is a double Fail in this one. Notice it says “Hole for Head” on the bag by the front tire.

  85. trosper says:

    This is a grand idea! Gets your dog from point A to point B, and then when you reach your destination…your dog gets decapitated, fun for the WHOLE family!

  86. Koopa says:

    …And while exiting the car, you also get the enjoyment of smacking your dog in the head with the car door, that is if you haven all ready beheaded him shutting the door the first time.

  87. wild life animals names and information know more go here thank you !!!

  88. JDL says:

    are they on ebay?

  89. Ervin says:

    Hahaha, I’d totally use this.

  90. Francisco says:

    Anyone knows if this product comes in “Mother In Law” Sizes???

  91. dukethepcdr says:

    Thank goodness it as “soft rubber tubing” to prevent the car’s precious finish from getting marred. What about the poor dog getting marred?

  92. frogman says:

    it’s a joke right? The people who wrote that weren’t seriously thinking this could work?

  93. Darq says:

    I want all the Z’s

  94. huh... says:

    look at all these racist people.

  95. LMAO says:

    how the hell are you suppose to open the door with decapitating the dog?

  96. UFCRuleZ says:

    Rather nice blog you’ve got here. Thanks for it. I like such topics and anything that is connected to this matter. I would like to read a bit more on that blog soon.

    Truly yours

  97. The Moomin says:

    Your comment fails to nest in the right place.
    Go back to last save point?


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