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Cheezburger Network Blog
FIRST AGAIN
FIRST
STILL FIRST
Aaannnnnd you’re done.
Stick a fork in him, just to be sure.
Make that a Pitchfork, gotta make sure he knows what awaits “firsters”!
*Demonic laugh*
An electrified pitchfork with poison on the tips for good measure.
*I think that should have been electric …
One prong per butt cheek. The middle one – well, that’s obvious.
To bake the potato?
We need a Vicar, ASAP!
You rang?
*squeeze!!!*
YAY!
*SQUEEZE*
You’ve been gone AGES!
*sigh*
Yes, I’ve been switched to nights at work. It’s now 4:45-ish here, and I’m…erm…bushed. Hee!
No fair! Can you not tell them that there is massive public demand for you to be back on days?
I’ll be sure and let them know
Say the moomin will potato them unless they consent!
*puts on stern face aas he throws and catches a potato*
I imagine that to be something like “egging”, only it would probably hurt worse. Either way, it’s a frightening concept. You’re very…persuasive, Mikey!!
Come to the Dark Side, we have potatoes:P
k-k-k-katy! Yay!
I found your song. Fun. I’ve missed your little spud…
*pain*
Nay. My first is better than your first.
Is this the new McDonalds adults meals?
Probably too many letter ’s’’s there? I’ve just confused myself.
Would you like a McAnal with that?
Made from reconstituted potato?
Backend harvest!
Hahahaha. It would have to be!
It’s actually served with fish taco.
hahahaha! I want to be a farmer when I grow up daddy and plough the back field just like you!
Brokeback burger?
Sorry, but this was a fail.
It would have been a win if the name was Mc’Ass
Sour puss.
Smelly cat.
She looks like the cat that got the cream.
Stop milking it.
Make me! I dairy-ou!
I will! You ask for trouble and that is what yoghurt.
Your threats a-mousse me!
I will get my Wife to back me up, cheese a ninja!
*stands alone*
Eep! I butter apologise then!
Whey to go!
Although you should be ashamed. How curd you hide behind your wife?
I imargarine he’s a milktoast.
Ghee whizz, you guys don’t quit.
Are everyone’s posts skimmed from milk truck fail? You know you’ve cottage be more original than that.
smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Wheelchair failers.
*blinks*
Winking at me again Mikey? Haven’t you had emuff yet?
*wawes franticly back at Mikey D*
friends reference that’s so 2008
That’s just a McFantasy.
No, but maybe some anal fantasy catfood..
nice… I’ll have one pussy meal please.
Lemme know when it’s all you can eat.
Some people get stuffed real quick.
Some can never get enough.
I know where you can get for breakfast for free. God bless America.
Can I have some of your pussy…Mcmeal?
Yes – I ordered one for my boyfriend, but he wouldn’t eat it.
*sniggers*
Well your boyfriend doesn’t know a good happy meal when he sees one.
My boyfriend or Mookie’s?
My boyfriend doesn’t like fast food. He eats very slowly.
Finger-lickin’ good, huh?
With cream on top.
I was always told to use utensils.
i honestly lol’d “teehee”
Does that
cucome with fries?Make it a Big Meal and it comes with the new salty McShake.
Oooh Yummy! Ice cream for dessert?
Soft serve, even.
Pop a cherry, too.
McTwat does that say? I **** believe my eyes.
I see you’re pussyfooting around using curse words.
That’s out of character for me. I hope I’m not dick or something.
We’re all judging you.
*writes down contestant scores on card*
I just assumed you’d cocked up.
You’re schlong about that.
Your comments hanging low, hopefully this will get it upright where it belongs.
It sucks when that happens. There should be a stiff penalty.
Don’t get testes. Give him a chance.
Come on now, let’s not drop the ball(s) here. What’s the matter? Cat got your erm, …toungue?
*Uh- not you, Mookie, just the guys.*
It appears Mikey’s agasht.
I’m bushed out! Running out of puns.
Is this the bell-end of the puns?
I blew his mind.
Come on now, a muff is a muff!
Well, well. Aren’t we just the growler now!
Snatch-urally.
Well, I guess it’s not like you to get back in your box.
I cunt help it.
I know. So you’ll keep beavering away, I hope.
Twat is what i shall do.
That last comment was balls, I’m sorry.
Goes nice with the Big Mac.
And tater tots.
And Quarter Pounder.
With cheese?
And mayonnaise.
I relish the idea of this.
Can I just pop a gherkin in it?
Sure but you will have ketchup!
We’ll end up in a pretty pickle.
I salsame pretty pickles once. They were dressed up real nice.
Mustard been a nice sight.
*strikes the “me” from salsa before anyone sees*
*whistles inconspicuosly*
They had many condiments.
Salt it out mate.
Must be a contraceptive sponge.
It’s the porn remake of spongebob squarepants.
*snork*
*hands tissue to SC*
Thanks. Mikey makes me laugh.
*squeeze*
Q: “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea…?”
A: A muff diver?
Hee!
His best friend is a chocolate starfish you know. . .
My first “Heee!”
You’re poppin’ all my cherries Mikey!
Be careful with the one in the back. It hurts.
I wonder if there’s some kind of checklist for things to have done to you on Failblog?
There’s a first time for everything and we haven’t even covered all the bases yet.
Covering them up is no fun
Snuggling under the covers in the dark is fun. We could see what pops up with an ET finger light.
I wish I could forget about that but it keeps coming back to illuminate these conversations.
She dropped her scotch and now Mr. McDick is going to put her to bed.
I love stories with a happy ending:)
I just love happy endings… especially if it doesn’t cost extra..
The best things in the world are free;)
“Extra, Extra! Get your “free” Mcpussy right here! Only $6.19! Coming cheap, won’t last long…
McDonalds, here I come!
“brb”
It goes well with used orgasms!
Free for 500 yen.
I thought ya got what ya paid for?
Sponge Bath anyone?
I thought the course hairs on any Mick were red.. However, this proves not all McPussies are fire crotches.. who knew?
They decided to go green for Saint Patrick’s Day.
Would you kiss it? It’s Irish…
It’s hairish allright.
You plucked that one right out from under me.
Heheh. Did you get rug burns when you went down?
What? It’s made of woven female pubic hair. The name is appropriate.
They even make toothbrushes of it nowadays. Works miracles for your teeth but the rest of the day you will be trying to remove something of your tongue.
all the hair in your teeth you could wish for without the poo on your chin
Poo on your chin?
That’s… not right.
Winnie-the-Pooh is on your chin,
Winnie-the-Pooh has a big grin,
I say, lass, this is a big win,
Now you’ve got Pooh-goo all over your chin.
I was seeing it more as a continence FAIL…
Maybe there is something like a too intensive orgasm…
that and the ‘magic’ frequency
Maybe the owner of the ‘too intensive orgasm’ generates the
magic frequency.
….and she told me I was special
Aww, look at it this way – maybe you helped her.
Chin up!
Everyone who reads the FailBlog is special.
Certainly NOT the trolls.
Ok… there are exclusions.
Clause IV. Trolls are not special.
Which ’special’ are we talking?
The good special!
*smiles nervously*
*feels better*
Now I know why that burger tasted so funny.
Because you got it from a clown?
*shakes DrB by the hand* Genius.
Ahhh, that cracked me up.
Essence of Ronald McDonald.
*Ahem*
He’s got biiig feet, too.
*giggles*
It must have been a rodeo clown, working with bucking broncos and frisky fillies.
and undulating ungulates
I assume it leaves a pleasant fishy smell in it’s wake.
The sent on the package: Bearded Clam
There might be a scratch and sniff on there as well.. getcha a sample..
*scent even*
It even has a pic underneath of a little man being mesmerized by the aroma wafting from the McPussy.
It’s actually a dancing cat. In a hat. I was so
curious as to WHY the sponge company
had given their product this name I googled
it.
But then I was VERY sorry I did ‘cos the
sponge wasn’t the first pic that showed up…
*feels rather ill*
*tries to erase memory*
*should have known better*
You practically dared me to Google it! And of course I did. Thanks for that! Thank God I’m a vegetarian already…
I had to share.
*shudders*
You and you – bad and bad. I never surf p0rn. So when my son walks up behind me…what’s on the screen? Oh, hell.
.
I told him it was a cheeseburger
Hehehe! How old is your son?
Cheese?!
Cheese??!! Don’t link that image with cheese!
You’ve just made it SO MUCH worse!
*scrubs at brain with McPussy sponge to remove mental image*
*retches*
*armshoulder*
Look on the bright side, at least it wasn’t a Ryannon link?
Rynannon? (I’ve forgotten how to spell her name. BRB)
TY Mikey. Well he didn’t say “no it isn’t”. I guess I switched tabs before he got a fix on it.
*”no it isn’t a cheesburger” that is.
Phew! Sounds like you got away with it. That was lucky.
(I just went looking back through fails to check how to spell Ry’s name and I could find her?)
It’s “Ryannon.” Learn it. Live it. Love it.
Cheers!
We definately don’t want Ry-Anon. We aren’t trying to do w/o her. Where’s she been lately,anyway?
Still can’t find it.
You’re trying?
Masochist.
Is it just prOn or something disgustingly perverted?
It’s a doucheeburger.
Erm… not disgustingly perverted.
Unless shaved genitals that look like vaguely like
fast food are your disgusting perversion…
its like trying to pry open a cold toasted cheese and tomatoe sandwich in the morning
With your tounge.
hahahahaha!
He’s a very happy little kitty, dancing with his top hat and cane. He knows he’s gonna get some tonight!
*Imagines Charlie Sheen singing his chistmas carol”
lol
Dunna Dun Da Daaa…
Im luvn it?
Dunno.
Dunna know? You’re not lovin’ it? You need to get out more.
My ankle has a different opinion on that.
*applies soft kneading motions with paws (no claws) to Arthur’s ankle.*
Better?
A little. Your paws can be really gentle.
Anpu doesn’t like that sponge. It leaves mysterious white stains and didn’t help him gain wait when he needed it. False advertisement.
works better than a douche bag
Indeed.
In deed?
Of deed.
I personally feel that’s a fine name for a sponge!
54
And it took me less time to type breakfast than like 
90.6…I did better last time.
*is too ashamed to admit her slow typing speed*
The only time I tried it I had 15.8 and 11 (!) mistakes. Hopefully because I didn’t care for punctuation or capitalization. Feel better now?
Not really. The first time I tried it I didn’t even realise you had to type the words, so I started making my own sentence up.
Hehehe! That was my very first try, too.
my type – rank
Now that did actually cheer me up!
that’s a first for me today! *squeeze*
*squeeze*
I left caps-lock on on my first try and ended up with 100% mistakes
65 now.
48.8 with 100% accuracy. Woohoo… That’s about a 400% increase on last time.
Quiet Nazi Boy
My friend did that too…lol
who is this fabled ‘friend’?
she goes by the name of….Coach
Did she used to run a bar in Boston?
No, but she used to used extra dees.
She sounds awesome, wierd name, but double D a definite plus
Ooo you are speedy, can you please try to beat 108, so you can take first place away from my friend?
102…dammit.
Ok. 112. (clicky my name if you don’t believe me.)
Aw, it won’t go to the page. Ah well. You’ll just have to take my word for it.
*Applauds*
*bows*
Thengkew!!
*pats back, gives sportsdrink* Nice work there!
You did it! The link in your name doesnt work, but if you go to my newly added stats page, you can sort by WPM and I see yours. Thanks!!!
“McPUSSY” — the new tuna melt sandwich
Soon to be sued by both McDonald’s and the porn industry.
ROTFL, Priceless dude, Priceless!
RT
http://www.privacy-center.pro.tc
At a certain point of usage the sponge gets wetter of its own regard.
I don’t know what’s more cheesy and obnoxious–the eternal parade of “first” trolls, or the eternal parade of “anti-first-troll” trolls.
Hmmm, I wonder if they use only this sponge to clean up spills from the tap in the next fail…
great for mc_loving ain it?
Brings whole new thing to mind when I hear “McDonalds I’m lovin’ it”.
HUGH JUPP IS A RAPIST
McPussy looks like industrial power Velcro.
Or is it just me?
I BOUGHT THIS SPONGE WHILE GROCERY SHOPPING IN BUENOS AIRES YESTERDAY, I HAD TO, WAS THIS FOUND IN ARGENTINA?
Super size that one…
is that a sponge for pussies?