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Cheezburger Network Blog
FIRST UREADStgfeadced
Die of something horrible. Preferably rape by Bubba.
FIRST
Eat the F-word 4 letters of your name.
tsrif
Sign the petition, bitch!!
Just know that everytime he says “first”, God will cut a limb off his next of kin.
Really? Boy, that sure is neat!
i wan som too
so how does it go with the ‘first’ crap – do you get your jollies this way?
FIRTS
Uh, pretty sure the word in question doesn’t begin with “F”…
Seriously.
Get a life and a girlfriend, loser.
don’t need a girlfriend when you’re in college
meta-loser.
HI Dad!
bubba??
It’s a movie reference, I think. So as not to spoil it for you, I won’t name it, but I haven’t even seen it myself.
!!!!!!!!!! id really like to see what happens next
its funny cause they’re FAT!!!
Funny Auto Tractor?
Ferocious Automobile Toreadors?
Frisky Arvo Touring?
Fanatical Arse Tremblers?
Fellatiers And Teasers?
Forgiveness And Tasers?
Furtive Anus Touch?
F(l)abulous And Top-heavy?
Fornix Anterior Tender?
French After-Taste?
Failing Axle Test?
Fancy A Testdrive?
Forcing A Tuber?
Fiddle And Twist?
Friendly Amorous Tap?
Festive And Turbulent?
flatulent and tasty?
Fur and Tourism
File Allocation Table
Flattened And Twisted?
Friendly Alien Tramps?
Failing at Typing?
Failed At Thining
Flabby americans thought-processes?
Fried and Tasty?
Foxes Are Thinking?
Lowered Expectations driving school.
Friendly and Transgendered?
Four-letter Abuse Time!
FAnTabulous
nah, just fat
but im proud that you had a conversation over what i said
C-C-C-COMBOBREAKER
fluffy attack tacos?
No, fat – as in obese.
Free Added Traction
Nope,
Just Fat.
I’d drive that.
I’d dive twat.
I’d derive cats
I’d delude Matt.
I’d deride bats.
I’ll debark boats
I’ll debeak brats.
I’d freak on hats.
I’d freak on frats.
I’d speak on flats.
I’d leak on mats
I’d sneak on gnats
I’d peek on AT-AT’s
you cheeky boy
id peak on ghats
i’d eat rats.
I’d deprive them of baps!
I’d buy that for a dollar!
The scooter or the fat guy?
the scooter!!!! or wat’s left of it…….
Guns! Guns! Guns! C’mon fellas, the Fatty Ass Trembles are playing *bup bup* to-night!
It’s easy to pick up chicks when you have such flash wheels. WIN!
Wheelchair appeal
It’s definitely putting the wheeeeeeeeeeeeee in wheechiair!
More like putting the wheeezze in the wheelchair. Pant, wheeze, cough! Poor chair has no more “wheee!” left.
they got caught ridin dirteeyy
It was a threesome. They had his foot rests in the air, wheels spinning, and the motor was groanin’ while they got on top and rode him hard.
Okay…I think I’ve got it…
.
A wheel-jiving motor-striving hard-driving?
Get Xzibit to throw some phatty Dub-dubs on that bad boy, and maybe some LCD screens and a chandelier and “Daaaayyyyuuuummmm!”
It’s already pimped, with a hooker in the back
I’m disturbed by the ninja cow stalking them from the rooftops.
probably wanted to join the party! lol
I think she just picked-up her brand new “Big Man” latex doll.
It’s so she can use the “2+ only” lane.
LOL. Because it’s so much quicker, hahahaha.
.
And yes, she’s calling the shots from that position, no risk!
What are you talking about, the cow is in the backseat.
The Ninja Cow just found her sister.
…and dad.
*tears well up*
*comforts CWR*
I know, it’s really disturbing.
I’m just a softie for reunions is all.
*prairie dog pops head out*
Whoops – too much fiber! Stay in school kids!
Where will they put the kids?
She loves kids…just can’t finish a whole one.
If she could it would be free
they have to try to cram them into those little take-away boxes.
It should be illegal for kids to have parents like that
ATTENTION DRAGONWRITER!
Clicky my name for link to original posting of “We Didn’t Start the Failin’” from way back in November.
They wouldn’t let ‘em walk through the Drive Thru.
Wooh go USA
ALL HAIL THE WHEELCHAIR FAILERS!
Hey, is that one of those shopping trolleys strapped on the back of that chair?
JINX! Although since we spotted the same thing rather than said the same thing at the same time you’re not allowed to look at anything else?
Okay then…here’s lookin’ at you, kid.
I see what you did there
You did whaaaaat to a goat!?!
Oh, like you’re soooo shocked.
The goat – South Africas answer to New Zealand’s sheep.
New Zealand’s sheep is not a question, young son.
And they thought it was consensual.
New Zealand has just the one sheep?
Their collective ’sheep’?
In Communist New Zealand…
All for sheep, and sheep for all.
That’s so it can rear back onto those little wheels and buck her off at the feet of the cow that’s love-struck and following her with amour in his eyes.
Okay…I think I’ve got it…
.
A back-buck bovine-struck love-f*ck?
Yeee-haaaaww!!
(btw, you get a gold star on that one.)
Oooo…I like a treasure hunt.
MINE! GIMME!!
You can has the chick
ooo… shiny.
Apologies, it appears I have become unstuck in time.
Please… Make the images go away…
It looks like the box she is sitting on has it’s own little wheels? Is this actually a horrific crash we are commenting on?
SNAP!
This is getting ridiculous! Stop commenting when I do. I’ll tell mum on you!
(I spoilt that by snickering too much at the timing. Sorry)
We can get it synchro…just relax and go with it.
That’s what you said about the potato and look how that ended? I had to dress as a vicar and no-one believed your story.
I will if you give me that potato.
I just saw part of an IHOP commercial…
WTF!?
All I caught was the last part of it: “…… the potato becomes more aggressive.”
If similar things were done to me as to that potato, I’d be angry too.
And good at holding your breath?
And hold qualifications in spelunking.
If I were a potato, I’d call a mango for reinforcement.
What a pear they would make together.
*straps on folk guitar*
♪If I were a potato,
I’d potato in the morning,
I’d potato in the evening,
All over this land♫
How many potatos must a man slide in
before you call him a vicar
3? Um, pass! Pass! Gimme another question!
“BANK!” The next quesiton is: Whoso list to hunt?
Gotta feel bad for that chair. . .
“After this incident, the wheelchair struggled with post-fatty anxiety.”
post-traumatic-fatty anxiety
Cacomorphobia should be in there too
Absolutely Wrong in so many ways! *SHUDDER*
FIRST
This, my ladies and gentlemen, is a prime example of a failer. Note the missing counting skills, the obvious stupidity and the weird name.
It could just be dyscalculia. . . Be sensitive. . . nah, go ahead and rip him to shreds.
Dracula?
dyscalculia, something like lysdexia
Calculon? The most talented robot ever to tread the boards?
If she fell of, then someone probably would make a potato-related joke.
comment win
“Save a horse, ride a sowboy…”
Ben should ban jou for that. I’d nearly forgotton Deliverance.
*looks innocent*
Whaa-? I was just mentioning the tag line of a song I like. I see I had a typo there, though …
*looks innocent again*
(and I wasn’t referencing Deliverance, btw, just the tag line of the Willie Nelson/Toby Kieth song “Save a horse, ride a cowboy”; plus the guy looks fat like a sow.)
(I really don’t understand why I could be banned for that. *eyes well up with tears* I have seen so much worse inuendo printed here.)
*Squeeze*
JINX!
Hahahahaha.
*sniffle sniff*
I believe you’ve gotten me twice now Mikey D!
*SQUEEEZEs Mikey D back*
I apologise if the squeeze squeezed the tears out.
Get a room you 2
Room for a cat to swing?
Room for a squirrel to par-tay.
No, Sqwerlly wasn’t there that night.
I too am a squirrel.
..
but I wasn’t there either. Too busy gathering nuts.
Oh! My bad. Did you gather your nuts by hand?
Sometimes I use my teeth.
Ouchie!
But GOOOOD Ouchie!
Never had a complaint yet.
Who told?
You’re a swinger? I feel so used
I was swinging from the chandelier. Don’t you remember?
All I remember is handing you a small woollen mouse full of catnip and then it all went a bit crazy.
In light of your comment, I do remember.
I like how you switched-on there.
You even took your top hat off that night. I was so touched.
In my current situation, it is the least I could do.
Awww. I knew what you did there, but the thought of riding a sowboy
could lead to only one brainworm…hehe and hence the banjo
It’s working.
OMG I just saw this one…It actually worked. *puff, puff, puff*
AND we went TWICE each at 2:28! Now would you nip to the shop and get me chocolate?
*sneaks DrB a Snickers bar from his desk drawer*
Shhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I’ll get you chocolate if you can promise me that you’ll never write “hence the banjo” ever again. Those three words chilled my spine…
Sorry for the brainworm. I didn’t intend it at the time, really; but payback is that now all I can see is that.
Here…you, Mikey and I…let’s hop in this raft and float down-stream away from it all…
*starts singing the ‘Jaws’ theme song*
*throws the ninjacow as a diversion*
We’ll escape while Bruce tries to solve the ninjacow.
*wipes milk mustache away*
“that’ll show you ninjacow!”
*starts singing the ‘Jaws’ theme song again*
OMG, you mouth-raped the ninjacow?
Clicky for earworm of the moment, if ya dast.
D’oh! Correction:
“Save a horse, ride a cowboy” is performed by Big and Rich.
“Whiskey for my men, and beer for my horses” is performed by Willie Nelson/ Toby Kieth.
S-s-sorry.
*feels stupid*
This isn’t a FAIL.
There is no FAIL here.
Call it “funny”, if you really feel that way, but it doesn’t even remotely satisfy the criteria for a FAIL.
WTF is wrong with you, FailBlog?
I kinda agree, but it’s nothing to make a fuss about.
It IS a fail (max hauling weight)
anon is fat?
Anon’s got a roof-cow.
pesky and very difficult to get rid of. Cows can’t walk downstairs you know
That was what I told the judge that time my mother
broke both her legs.
great engineering win
jenny craig fail
Fatty boom-boom, hey fatty boom…
p00r american fat bastards! Go macdonalds, go burgerking!!!
Ronald MacDonald, the king of the phedophile clowns.
phedo aka. phail and phyrst?
Neither, just plain creepy.
Go easy on Ron. He may seem a little too jolly, but, if you look closely, there’s a real sadness in the eyes.
I’d rather like to know what they are doing in the street. It doesn’t seem like they are using the crosswalk, but I could be wrong.
It’s the celebration of a new parade, The Wheelchair Retard Parade. It’s kinda like the gay parade, except the people are better dressed.
The “cross”walk yelled at them and told them to go around.
The crosswalk is a very intelligent being.
I think I love them.
Yep, what’s not to love…?
The front left of the scooter chassis…I HATE IT!
Good call. Front right ok with you?
I think you are in need of higher standards.
This is teh interwebz, we don’t have standards.
This is a surrialistic painting, right?
Surrealistic spelling, more like…
Thank you!
*expires*
As a mime, most of what I do is lost over the internet.
I can’t hear you. Did you say you were trapped in a box?
No, I think it was something about walking through a REALLY strong wind…
Oh? I thought surely he was being dragged across stage by
a large man eating truffle with issues about cable television.
She slid right down that pole and onto his back!
that is a move I will have to Czech out.
I hope you make sure it is well Greeced.
LAST!
fast
cast
mast
fatman: “quick! to the fatmobile!”
fatwoman: “I’m waddling as fast as I can!”
fatmobile: “OMG NO!!!!”
ninjacow: “moooo!”
This was the last time Fatmobile was ever seen alive.
That’s because he’s got all the krispy kremes he can eat stashed in the fatcave. With his own delivery service just in cast 10 crates isn’t enough.
Heeheeheeheehee.
That was ninjacow’s last recorded utterance (udderance?) as she was sucked into a jet engine.
ROTFLMAO and such
Do they have superpowers?
as far as I know only nijacow has choclate milk which is why he made the cut
Looks to me like Ninjacow is also rockin the Power of Levitation.
A boycow? That borders on the unbelieveable…
Oh no! that’s not milk!
Now you’re in a sticky situation!
? huh.
took me a while to get it started, but once I got it going…..
…right into the arroyo, huh?
There’s a distinct lack of ankles and Georges this morning?!?
Well, I can help with the ankles.
Hurrah for ankles! We’re a Victorian scandal in the making.
I’ve got plenty to show! In fact, right now I could be a victorian gay sex god.
*is scandalised*
Where’s George? After all, he’s yours so you have to know.
He’s appeared
He’s up there ^
*is Victorianized*
I’d keep that a secret.
You would.
Don’t worry, it’s under my hat.
Jimmy hat?
The bar is open for a short while…what would you like?
*puts on barman outfit*
*opens bar*
I’m Barman.
*gives CWR a bored look*
Well, hello. What would you like?
*continues to polish glass with rag in bored fashion*
Where’s Olive, (the boy toy wonder) this evening? I know, I’m one of very few people in the world that can pronounce parentheses. *proud*
Ooh ooh… another like I had yesterday please!
Ok then! *wink*
*prepares Sex on the Beach*
Its seems something has popped up. Excuse me.
*goes in back for a few minutes*
*comes back out*
*finishes making drink for jam*
*slides down bar*
There you go!
Thank you! Can I get some peanuts too please?
Wait what’s this on the… oh never mind!
Wait, did Stategist just slide down the bar?
Since I’m shortly for bed, I’ll have a Long-Island Iced Tea, please.
*I nested wrong*
Strategist, may I have a Long Island Iced Tea?
*sigh*
There must be jam in his ears.
What did you jam in his ears? What flavor, at least?
Seedless raspberry.
Wait – you blew a raspberry, but there was no seed? Seems there should be a double entendre there somewhere…I’m prolly just imagining things again. What? No. Go away. Sorry – elves, you know.
*feigns innocence*
Anyone seen the bartender? I need more sex on the beach.
Yeah, bored looking fellow about yay high? Sorry, don’t know anyone matching that description.
Why hello…I heard that you needed some more sex? Uh, on the beach?
*grins uncontrollably*
*grins some more*
Well it seems I have to catch up with my rest. Until we meet again!
I’d tap that.
I’d type that! (58.8 wpm
)
Oh Mikey D, my loyal website viewer. Why can’t all people be like you!?
Do you make money with that site?
You kiss your mother with that mouth?
I’ve outsourced kissing my mother. Now a Pakistani does that for me.
So, no then.
*eyes water with laughter*
*ears water with confusion*
When the medicine kicks in that will stop, so don’t worry.
Damn.
Not yet…..maybe one day! …..Do you want to give me some money?
Want – yes. Can – no.
I’m surprised you even want to! That’s a start!
I’m very generous. That may be one of the reasons why I’m broke all the time.
Well, whatever you do, don’t get “fixed” just because you’re broke. Hoo, boy – THAT was a mistake.
My two fingers aren’t going there…
I…can’t do it! I just can’t. Sorry. I guess I’m not so much the uncouth bastard I always imagined myself to be. Someday, though…I will be. *hopeful*
Tiger, not even I touched that comment.
.
But it was a beautiful set up Sidhe Cat, all the same
Thanks.
I was referring to the fact that I type with 2 fingers. Just in case ya didn’t know
Rrrriiiighttt….
*sigh*
Here we go again…
I’d slap that.
I’d slap that thigh and ride the wave in… 12 and 4 errors
If that can be able to move, thats a win
If you can diagram this sentence, that’s a win.
i like them. they make me look positively skinny.
aMAZed that scooter can go go with that much load.
After the apocalypse, Mel Gibson and Tina Turner rascal about the wastelands, having eaten all the others survivors…
Which is which?
Where is what?
Now they are perfectly prepared if the planet turns into Waterworld. We all float down here!
eek! a clown!
*looks at avatar*
Hmmm…
Is that a real pic of you, Arthur?
I just love big muscles!
Sorry to say that – no. I think the big muscle guy around here is Christopher.
The fact that:
1) One, the other, or both were capable of lifting the shopping cart onto the back,
2) The woman was then able climb onto that and sit down, probably BEFORE the guy sat down.
shows that this woman is clearly capable of standing and walking on her own, possibly the guy as well, but chooses not to. The lack of exercise is probably a strong contributing factor to her weight, which she then uses as an excuse not to exercise.
And the chair is designed for ONE not TWO.
THAT is what makes it a FAIL.
Well, pin a rose on you.
Um well, THAT AND THEIR EXTREME OBESITY make it a fail!
But, thanks for your well thought out breakdown…
This has got to be in Texas somewhere. I grew in Texas, the DFW area and there was a restaurant with a cow on top of it. I believe it was in Haltom City but that pic does not look like Haltom City BUT looks like Texas, LMAO!!!
This is in California.
Oroville, CA to be exact.
I am ashamed to live here.
Obesity epidemic example – WIN
Wheelchair suspension – WIN
Laziness factor of ten – WIN
So the only FAIL is that these two tubbies have failed to pick up their relation from the top of that roof yet.
That’s how fat people do it! They use a f*cking motor!
So that’s what that buzzing sound is!
LOL, Where’s the beef? ROTFL
RT
http://www.privacy-center.pro.tc
Is it just me or is the cow on the roof laughing at them?
He is the only thing preventing this vehicle from doing a wheelie.
The song fat bottom girl comes to mind.
They wanted to ride their bicycle but they couldn’t distribute the weight effectively.
Also, there’s nothing wrong with a fat bottomed girl as long as the proportions are right.
Ya I just wanted to make the queen refernce.
I sort of don’t think this was the fat bottomed girl Queen was referring to… but I could be wrong.
More importantly, ow did she climb up there?!?!?
her hair is pretty though
http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/category/jack-grabber
what do hover-rounds and fat girls have in common?
They’re both fun to ride, but you wouldn’t want to be caught dead on either of them.
It’s a new model of motorized wheelchair. It can carry not one, but two fat asses at once!
Even worse is seeing people like this at Disneyland. They can’t go on the rides, so I can only assume they go there for the food
Yes they do get on the rides and everyone has to wait 15″ for them to wedge themselves in. Then they put everyones lives in danger from overstressed machinery and then it takes 15″ for them to pry themselves out when the ride is over.
Yes, they do go for the food. With a side of Crisco.
THIS THING CAN ONLY HAPPEN IN THE U.S.A.
Secret test photo of new Harley-Davidson revealed!
I think that’s paula abdul on that vehicle…just a thought, =P
More of a success.
More of a mess
wtf dude
lol. He has to use his feet to help push it along. Jeez maybe she should hold up a sail to do her part…
These two are from my hometown. I’m so proud.
First!
Looks like the wheels are going crooked under all the pressure lol
I live in this town, and ive seen these people.
These electric carts are great for disabled people, but there are way too many people who use them simply because they’re fat. Try walking instead of riding while eating junk food.
That’s what it’s coming to these days. One day, we will all have electric scooters and on that day, I will consume a box of twinkies without stopping.
Mmm…twinkies.
Oroville, CA represent!
This is in Oroville, CA.
I think this is a picture of them before their drive-by.
watch out dudes it’s gonna Xplode
This idea or the moment in time when they confirmed that ‘Yes, we will transport our combined 550+ pound bodies across an intersection on this mobile machine designed for a 250 pound maximum’, makes it increasingly more difficult to believe that all humans are created equally.
Ham wagon to the Nth degree.
the obesity epidemic, in a nutshell.
ahhh the american way
this is why I hate the people in oroville.
The comments on this picture make me very, very sad.
…as the film ends, we see myrna and floppy joe embarking onward to an exciting life of success and adventure!
lol…I live in this town..I’ve seen these two riding around in the flesh..
ORO DAM BLVD. to be exact!