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First. Boom Baby.
i thought penguins marched faster than this…
FIRST FHADSFIKREAFD
4nd place!
its epic nom noms
Fail.
WHAT!?
Astounding!
A FAIL on FAIL Blog?
So ODD! Who would have ever thought!
Not me!
Or me!
I might have, but I can’t trust my own memory. Nothing can be truly be seen objectively.
Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.
Really? I thought they’re produced in China.
What isn’t? Except for safe toys.
I thought thoughts came from lightbulbs?
That’s just a filament of your imagination.
It seems the light bulbs are the indication of the thought being finished. Like the beep on a microwave. That was my interpretation from cartoons as a kid.
They do. That’s why intense periods of concentration can you leave you lightheaded and the origin of the term ‘flash of inspiration’.
But…the man with the trench coat in the park told me…
*Removes trench coat*
*Makes mental note, never go to the park again she knows now*
Put that back on!
Hmm do I have to keep the detective hat on too? Wearing 2 coats is getting me hot under the collar.
Ok, you’re officially the strangest flasher in the park!
Night, all, I’m going out…be good!
Enjoy yourself Dilly. That goes for all of your personalities.
WIN
This site has no fail in it!!! Only win!!!
No, that was just “American Freedom.” We have it sent over in little cardboard boxes, which are also made in China. Its ok, someday America hopes when we grow up we can make our own freedom.
What’s a “fail”?
you
owned
lol
Owned And Sold To Another “Owner”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
win.
“Fail” cannot be explained. It must be seen. It cannot be explained in words or loosely defined. You must simply witness fail and then you shall know what it is, and what it truly means. Trust me, when you see the fail, and it is epic, you will know it.
A lot of those posts have a ring on the other side that the cable could go through.
I reject reality and substitute my own.
Thank you, Adam Savage.
…and thanks to Bush, too.
I’d rather not. Savage’s reality was a lot more fun than Bush’s.
So true! I just felt mentioning Bush was absolutely necessary when it comes to self-created reality.
no. penis.
Am I missing an eyebrow?
Failure is ALWAYS an option!
But loosing is not.
+1 win for you!
FREE BIKE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Haha, I see this all the time in Amsterdam
taking a picture instead of stealing the bike win.
if there was a ring there, thered be no reason to loop it around the whole pole, hmm?
yea, well, there isn’t a ring. Stop substituting reality.
Reality isn’t what you think it is. Or maybe it IS what you think it is. I’m confused.
There is no spoon.
Keeping the bike from falling over would be a perfectly good reason to use up as much slack as possible. My guess is that there’s a ring there we can’t wee.
you suck bitch!
all people that say “first” suck
Ha ha. You said “first” too so that means you suck too.
Unfortunately, your comment is untrue due to Clause 5.3 of the Failblog Comments Pack, Chapter 3: “Which Comments are acceptable”. According to this clause, “the usage of the word “first” is unnaccetable when it is on its own, is used solely for the purpose of the significance of being the first to type in a comment or when it is typed by a troll. Within a sentence, the word first is acceptable, provided the comment is intelligent.”
BFF where can I get a gander at this book. There are so many laws I’d like to be aware of that currently I am ignorant of.
An intelligent comment on failblog? HA!
—> “provided the comment is intelligent.”
Quoting the word doesnt count…
“nadie tiene robermela”
Umm… free bike?
Free lock too!!!
the lock is locked and u don’t have the key smart one.
I really cant tell if CIS is being sarcastic or just plain stupid. I think sarcastic.
take the bike, and lock it to something else, with a new lock >>
No, keep the bike where it is and just add a lock to it… Whoever’s bike it is won’t figure out they could remove it.
Go away, you’re unwelcome here…
lol best comment ever
I agree!!!
not to mention that post is totally unsecured
It’s pretty happy with just being itself, actually.
It’s secure with it’s poleness.
Why not? It’s a pillar of the community.
It works alone in this area; its piers are down by the docks.
You do just pylon the puns, dontcha?
I’m just trying to help out; you know I like to come to a palisade.
Your aid is always welcome! Here…let’s have some wine and get pilastered.
*clink!*
*erects a monument to our lasting romance*
*clink!*
Just don’t put me up on a pedestal…I prefer seeing eye-to-eye.
Our relationship is built on a sound footing. Hey, that’s our song!
*slides arms around you, slow dances*
Oooh, they’re playing our minaret! I love dancing like this…
*leans head on shoulder and closes eyes*
Hi there! It seems that I forgot your drink last fail, so…
Uh, it seems I don’t have any peach schnapps, can I substitute mampoer instead (its also made from peaches)? I’ll do that, and you tell me what you think. Thank you.
*gets out imperial measuring cups and stuff like that*
*prepares drink for DW with a flourish*
*slides down bar*
There you go!
third yay
Good for you…everyone should have at least three yays per day. It’s good for the heart, you know.
Yay!
And the occasional “Woohoo!” is excellent for respiratory function!
*Wonders what a yippy-eye-oh-kyay would do*
Oh hell, that’s an entire aerobic workout of the “WHEEEEE!!” muscles!
Does an WAHOOO!!! a day keep the doctor away?
I have been doing that quite often of late. My sister-in-law moved out last weekend!
WAHOO!
WooHoo!
Yay!
Yippy-eye-oh-kyay!
WHEEEEEE!!!!
Oh, your humo(u)rous maximus must be in GREAT shape!
And banging your head into a wall reduces stress.
Also – reduced walls.
and letting out a good dose of diarrhea is good for the old poop shoot
Please, we don’t need to know your anal fantasy.
I’m just really squicked out that he thinks it’s “shoot”, not “chute”…
Ewwww. Shoot. Ewwww. Is there an emoticon for “Ewwww”?
I go with shock….
I guess this one could work…
Technically no due to replys….
When a pole and a bike love each other very much…
I foresee a divorce.
Bondage… you’re doing it wrong.
Or…at least really, really wimpy.
I guess their safe word is goodbye.
“Baby, I like it meh”
The bigger FAIL is riding your bike to Best Buy.
Yes, heaven forbid we ever try to conserve natural resources.
Anyone who would think to conserve natural resources would have the IQ to secure the bike properly. This kid was going to play free video games.
With this kid’s IQ? He probably works there.
Nice to know he found work after selling that fire extinguisher at Circuit City.
He’s probably still snickering over that price tag incident which got him laid off.
He was able to live out his dream of making his employer the butt of his jokes.
Now he’s going to go videotape his escapades of his awesome tricks he does on his bicycle while having his friends takes pictures…
That’s not the only thing he’s going to videotape…let’s just say dogs are involved. I won’t say more, as I don’t want to corrupt BFF’s mind any further.
he could have locked it to a buggy
Proper American nomenclature for “shopping cart” fail [these colors don't run].
Perhaps the cable goes through the frame and the rear wheel at least rendering it not ridable.
Funniest comment EVER!
LOL! I crack me up! Whooooo!
Someone could use a salmon and chicken and original flavoured cookie.
The colonel hasn’t given out the recipe for the original flavo(u)r though. So how can you be sure that it is original?
Stupid American
Your comment is completely misspelled.
It should have been ‘Stupid Trojan’.
Epically, tragically stupid.
He’s just in to pick up some anal fantasy
His pussy was really hungry.
So he’s overprotective. Big deal
Take a look at the pic again…
You guys fed the troll again, he’s been doing this for a while. But I inexplicably sort of like this one, he’s silly.
I think you just miss Ghouk and his grandfather.
Am I so transparent?
See-through, baby.
PS I don’t think I formally introduced myself dilettante. I am Emperor nice to meet you.
*Offers greetings cookie*
It is a chocolate chip cookies with the chips spelling out “HI”.
Well, hello there! Color me surprised and pleased.
*colo(u)rs dilettante surprised and pleased*
Nah, it doesn’t suit you.
*wipes it off very gently, so as not to harm her*
Much better.
most failed comment so far
Wow dude,
you fail at… Dude, you fail at freaking life! JUST LIE DOWN AND DIE!
Nah, I’ll NAIL my bike to… something!
Lmao, more fail than the bike owner. And it was their fail to begin with… Recycling win?
Why stop to take a picture of it, when you could be riding away on your new bike?
Fails like this makes me want to cry.
Hi Sara!!!! How’s the little one?
Welcome back, Sara.
At least it’s not as bad as this one (clickie).
What the…? Good catch.
Oooh, Sara!!
*hughughughughug!*
We’ve missed you! Give the bun-bun a smooch from his Auntie Dragon, okay?
And Auntie Loz
Hello Sara! How are you and the family doing?
Sara!! We’ve missed you! Now maybe we can outnumber the trolls once again!
Hi! Hi! Hello, everyone! Baby’s great, he’s growing like a weed.
I see the trolls are out in full force this evening. Aww, makes me all misty…
Sara J! It’s about time you got your asse in here again!
You’re back! Would you like an alcoholic, or non-alcoholic drink?
*opens bar*
It’s a win. There is actually an invisible pole.
So funny tamalli. We have the same name. We probably have the same IP address. You want to be friends?
Schizophremia fail? And/or spelling fail.
I think it’s a multiple personality fail…
that’s the same thing…
nope, thats just a streight up too much rejection fail.
stop..no stop..ahhhhhhh RAPE..RAPE…OMG NOT IN DA Ear….help HELP
Guess the colour of the bike owners hair?
Is that really relevant?
Yes, you moron….
Better moron than more off!
Unless youre at a gay pride parade.
PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE!
Yep, now im moroff.
Don’t tell me who to instant message.
go back to /b/ troll
You’re breaking rules one AND two…
I wonder what colour your hair is?
But I thought everything was relevant is the FailBlog comments?
Many relephants are found in the zoo.
His security is just a phallusy.
He just wasn’t trying hard enough.
I’m sure at first glans this looked like a good idea.
I foreskin a realy bad run.
Ballsed-up already.
*sends for bukkit*
*Brings bukkit*
You’ll have to stiffen your resolve and rise to the occasion.
Mmmm… original flavour.
Works great, as long as he gets there first thing in the morning >>
[OT] Last night I had a dream about FB. Should I start worrying?
Suppose it depends on how the dream went?
Ooh…did it involve a potato and a bukkit?
No, it was some boring work-related thing.
I also dreamt I had a kid yesterday; that was much scarier even.
I don’t remember exactly. I was catching up on two days of FB – that must have triggered something.
haha.. that’s some scary stuff Aja!
Keep your camera handy. It means an epic fail is in your near future.
FIRST! OMG….can’t I believe I’m first!!! Everyone else fails, I win.
I think you should stop refering to yourself as “everyone”.
And you misspelled “I whine”.
Aawww. You guys is just jealous cuz’ I was first. I love you too.
Comeback fail. Go see an optometrist.
People often link it through the back tire, aswell. He might just be leaning it up agains the post…
Penis!!!!
Yes, we know you don’t have one.
That, my fellow human, is simply non-factual. I just, not less than 5 minutes ago, masturbated. I should clarify that I ‘rubbed one out’ as opposed to having ‘rubbed one in’, which definitely qualifies myself as a penis owner. I also required kleenex after the deed was done, which in fact proves that I also am in ownership of testecles. Your arguement has rendered invalid.
a kleenex? wow. small testicles.
ya thats pathetic. you must not really have one
testicular spelling fail.
Spectacular life fail.
no one will steal that pole now that it’s locked to that bike!
http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/category/various-sundries
Penis post win!
I came
I am impressed with your previous ‘wank’ post! It nearly wore my scroll wheel out. WIN!
Took you long enough- sheesh!
I was hoping that you left.
Fluffy? Can you please do something about that ^? I’ll sing you a song if you want!
I am tempted to say that there is a correlation between the time since the Fluffy Doctrine was published and the sudden explosion of troll spam, but I won’t.
BFF…for the last time. DO NOT put all of this on fluffy. She voiced an opinion, one that many of us agreed with, and did not make any demands of anyone. She was courteous, polite, and respectful. So STOP laying your blame on her!
Whoah, Whoah.
I am not accusing Fluffy of ANYTHING. Not one thing. I see Fluffy as one of the politest people here. She never insults, and is very peaceful.
Did I critisize her? No, I just put her name down because she was the first one brave enough to finally voice the thoughts of Failbloggers.
I’ll say it again. I do not blame, accuse or dislike Fluffy AT ALL. I am just saying maybe we should be allowed to critisize occasionally. I’m saying this not to Fluffy, but to those who are willing to listen. Or read. Take your pick.
Either you don’t read very well, or you have a very selective memory.
NO ONE has said there has been a Geneva Convention with the trolls. Troll baiting, bashing, goading, stomping, flaming, etc is still perfectly acceptable and often appropriate and desired. What we objected to was the incredibly boring, unimaginative, uncreative, repetitive tazing that was taking up more space than the actual trolls were.
And saying that your “correlation” was in no way laying blame at
fluffy’s door was disingenuous at best.
*rather enjoys troll baiting*
It’s like candy, it’s not good for you, but there IS an enjoyment factor.
Amen, sistah!
*hug!*
*hugs*
Unfortunately there haven’t been too many recent trolls worthy of baiting. Shooting fish in a barrel gets old.
I know…I miss playing with trolls like flutterdoc and lindsay, who always thought they could outsmart me and made themselves look like total asses by trying to do so…
*nostalgic sigh*
I forget who flutterdoc was. What was he/she like?
Claimed to be a cardiologist or heart surgeon or some such thing. I remember he spent an entire evening trying to “FAIL!” me, and ended up failing so miserably that even HE had to admit it.
THAT…was fun.
I seem to remotely remember the heart surgeon comments. Yes, he was really annoying.
I wonder if Lindsey’s given up?
What about a barrel filled with alcohol?
*proffers*
Don’t drink this all in one go, see?
I seem to have been misled here.
I thought we were not allowed to do ANYTHING to the trolls. I shall take heed of your wise words, Dragon, and resume my flaming duties.
My correlation comment was a sheer act of facetiousness. I had a cynical moment, which I reget now.
It seems Bondfan is falling out of favour here. Are you ok?
*slaps self*
I’ve got to stop being so serious on Failblog.
I realise I am slowly becoming a grump here. I shall have to be really careful what I say.
The one thing my mother said to me most often as I was growing up was, “Would you please THINK before you open your mouth??”
It took a lot of years to learn to do that, though. It’s a skill that takes practice! So I sympathize with what you’re saying here.
*gives BFF a cookie that she swiped from di*
…Just don’t tell, okay?
I really must do something about putting my foot in it. One false move and I could be the next Sarah Palin.
Ooh! A cookie. Okay, I’ll keep it a secret.
*muches on cookie*
Thinking! Now there’s a lost art.
I try to keep it alive as best I can…!
Would like to add that not only do you keep it alive but you also cause others to follow suit. You provoke it.
’shall have’? choose one.
I understand you completely here. Passion and seriousness on the interne are worse than drinking and driving with an ex girlfriend you can’t stand.
Anyone got a “t” for the internet ^.
**kersplotch**
This happens too often.
She prefers to be called X-box
Nah that references something entirely different.
You shouldn’t call it the “Fluffy Doctrine” since a lot of people, including yourself, have signed it. Honestly, if someone would taze that wanker I think he would feel encouraged because we noticed him – and obviously getting noticed is what he so desperately wants. Trolls like him – ban ‘em. For the usual FIRST!!!ers and similar trolls the policy of ignoring has worked quite good, I think.
See folks – that’s how slow I write. I hate the “rank my typing” site.
It’s the getting there that counts Arthur. How’s the ankle doing?
Hi there!
.
It seems that I have some alcoholic ankle ointment that needs to be *SQUEEZED* on. Would you like it?
Good morning! Hurts like shit, thanks for asking. But at least it looks really funny, because my foot is now totally swollen. My left foot looks as if I’m a really fat guy (I’m not).
Would you like some of my alcoholic ointment? I’m a purveyor of all things alcoholic!*proffers*
Yes, thankyou. If it helps, I’m in. Not being able to walk sucks!
I type faster when I drink. Try that!
I misspell far too often when I’m sober. I think booze might not be the answer…
I was going to offer you a Mai Tai, but after what you said…
Well, it’s noon here and that my be a bit too early for a Mai Tai – especially since I have to work a bit today… But thanks anyway!
How about some refreshing Orange Juice?
Great, thanks! Have a cookie.
It’s weekend already? *snooze*
Just FYI, if you write to failblog and ask them nicely, they put idiots like the wanker on their automatic filter. I did that when the last pooper came, and I did it again today with this asshat (which I suspect is one and the same).
My hero!
*hug*
Wohoo! You’re the best!
I hope you guys come back to read this, cuz Emily from Failblog deleted that wanking comment. Thanks Emily!
*hugs!*
I know how to steal it!
Do tell.
No, because someone else could steal it until i’m there to steal it!!!
*tries to imagine incredibly slow bike thief stealing bike until aaa… gets there.*
David Cameron (the leader of the Conservative Party in the UK, which is the opposition to our current governing party) did this exact thing in the middle of London and wondered why someone still his bike.
Incidentally, he’s trying to be “eco-friendly” but he’s just a prick as his CHAUFFEUR drives behind him everywhere he goes!
It’s Labour Party airheads like you that make me sick.
That was only once. You’re just overusing the Tory party’s mistakes.
Someone stilled his bike?? Hardly seems worth it, really.
What proof is there that the bike was stilled?
It doesn’t appear to be moving.
Of course it is not moving. It’s a photo, silly. Though you could scroll up and down really fast and make it move.
Now, if someone tried to DIStill the bike…then, I’d be impressed.
You’d have to keep it in your Bauhaus though.
*pffft*
Who needs to steal the bike? Just photocopy the picture and everybody’s happy.
Oh like this person did? *holds up bottle of distilled bike* Would you like some? It tastes kinda rubbery though.
This is not a good week to pick on Mr Cameron. sheesh…
It is always a good week to pick on any politician, anywhere. It is the only thing that they are good for.
Not when their disabled son just died! There’s gotta be a rule book for this sort of thing…
I’ve just remembered that. I was terribly shocked when I read the news that Ivan had passed away. It must be a real shock for David and Sarah, and my condolences go towards them.
I think we shouldn’t insult politicians when they are grieving. Especially when the person involved is a six year old boy.
Crap. That didn’t make a splash in the American news. When I did a search, the
top article I found was (ironically enough) a piece about retrieving a stolen bicycle.
Heartfelt condolences from this Anglophile Yank.
For more info on the sad story, click my name.
Is Yankophile a word? Cause if it is, sounds pretty rudey dudey.
Be careful with coining new words. It my go off in directions that you don’t want. This one has at least one obvious undesirable path before it.
You’re just yanking my chain.
Okay, I take the “always” back. I had no idea. The loss of ones child, no matter what their age, is one of the darkest periods one can go through.
That’s probably why he didn’t move very much.
First…..
How about you go join Penis in his trip to the optometrist.
Sometimes, I beat off while thinking about Jean-Claude Van Damme. Then I urinate on my dog and order pizza.
if i was a robber i wouden’t stole this bikeee only baceuse of this
ahhahah
Didn’t David Cameron do this?
Silly noob.
Tbh, my opinion on this certain is that this was staged. No one is -that- blind/stupid or both… Not even the inbred rednecks, sadly in the possession of US citizenship.
…probably, but we can imagine its real!
twat
Someone has Tourettes…
They make medication for that.
Thats, I’ll go to the GP in the morning time
Thanks**
Tosser
Lol, Tourettes SPELLING FAIL PAH
No, Tourettes is the correct spelling.
And don’t you pah at me, mister.
I prefer Miss
and no i think you find your wrong
pah
Sigh.
Have you tried Googling? I thought not.
What are you doing with your wrong there, BFF? Can I see it? Does it need to be fed? What’s your wrong’s name?
I’ve named my wrong Boggy Jr, to honour the monster. He’s quite cute. Here, try holding him!
Erm….
*backs away quickly*
Thanks, but no. I have quite a good view from here.
By the way, I think this troll has Turret’s Syndrome…
*examines odd, tower-like growths sprouting from troll’s head*
I think he has Parrot’s Syndrome as well: She can’t be bothered to make a decent comment over and over again.
Maybe she also has Ferret’s Syndrome, since her posts stink.
google that shit!
His wrong pah? What are you saying?
From the name *lol btw* and your picture i am asumming you are British ? Oui ?
Well the translation may be different
I prefer Miss
Don’t you dare *sigh* at me as if you are better then more !
And what is Googling ??????
WOW!!! HOW DID YOU GUESS I WAS BRITISH?! ARE YOU PSYCHIC?!
Googling: To search on Google.
Whats Google ?
Oh bloody hell, I give up. This guy is just pulling my leg now. I’ll let you guys handle him.
Little Miss Spastic is baiting YOU, BFF. Of course, I could be wrong and she could have just crawled from beneath a rock.
See…when trolls bait YOU is the perfect time to fire up that brain of yours and squelch them with wit, humo(u)r, puns, and other things that trolls cannot comprehend or use themselves. THAT, my friend, is the FUN part!
Like I said, I am not a guy I prefer Miss
Unlike you bondloveing perfectionist I am not British
Is Google a British/European thing
I do not have a television, I don’t really have the internet, my brother is showing me this website on his portable mobile and The only other site I have ever been on is a doctering enclopedia,
I am a doctor working aboard helping poorer countries and I have been out of communcation for 15 months.
So you should NOT pity(!) me because i do not know what GOOGLE is, go back and watch a bond film
have a nice life
bye
*groan*
It’s a mixture of flutterdoc and Lindsey. God help us.
Did you get your med degree by studying from a “doctering” encyclopedia? No offense, but I think I’ll choose another doctor.
i don’t understand, did i translate is wrong ?
Doogie will do at this point.
I am still unsure what an “Enclopedia” is. Is it a new species of insect?
Doogie?
Dragon, I would avoid non-perfectionist doctors in general.
Best advice I’ve gotten all day!
I don’t understand, i don’t need to waste my time with immature boys like you
The troll has spoken
Arthur, the National Health Service mostly consists of those kinds of doctors, which is why I tend to see a Private GP.
*looks at Dragon*
Boys? She must be talking about BFF and Arthur!
I think I’m a bit too old to be a boy…
How appropriate…she Miss-ed!
Me too BFF, how posh are we?!
We’re so posh even chavs won’t rob us. I hate the buggers, always lurking around in their hoodies.
*ahem*
*tries to hide her hood*
I’m sure, Loz, that you have no ill intentions whatsoever. I meant the money-demanding, knife-wielding lager-louts who plague most of East London.
And most inner cities across the world.
Our media just love hyping up the ‘broken Britain’ cliché, making it seem like it’s so much worse here than anywhere else.
I see what you mean. The Evening Standard has been chock full of headlines such as “GORDON MAY SUE FRED THE SHRED” “LONDON TRANSPORT SYSTEM MOST EXPENSIVE IN EUROPE” and “BORIS CAUGHT CYCLING IN CITY HALL”
For the record, I would LOVE to live in London! I can’t even begin to aford it, but I LOVED the time I spent there. It was far and away more civilized than any city I’ve lived in.
I ♥ London. I spent a summer there when I was doing research for my dissertation at the British Library and the National Archives. I couldn’t afford to live right in the city so I rented a flat in Barking (yes…Barking, make “mad” jokes as you will), but it was one of the best summers EVER.
I would like to try a village in the Highlands myself. Perhaps Lowlands of mom’s side of the family would be good.
Aww you guys, you should all come back here so we can have a big mad failblog party!
Loz, if you buy the tickets, you’re on! I can’t afford to go out to dinner, let alone London!
I would but… I’m saving up to leave this country lol.
Really though, how much fun would a failblog meet be?!
Any destination picked out yet?
Much fun indeed! I am currently working on setting one up stateside. Un-official of course.
You are? *sigh* Wish I could join in.
and coyote, I’m heading to France
The obvious best site is Seattle Avis. It is best since that is the area I live in and thus could commute on the cheap.
Er…Loz…I think you might feel slightly “third wheel-ish” at Avis’ particular meet. I’m thinking it’s more of a one-on-one meet…yah?
You are going from one interesting place to another! And I’m stuck in western Washington! Y’all excuse me while I go and pout in the corner.
Dragon, not that one!!! I’m planning a later one!
Coyote, if I could afford to go there, that wouldn’t be a bad idea! Ihave never been to that part of the country and would like to see it someday.
Coyote, if it’s any consolation, I’ve always really wanted to visit Seattle! I’ll get there one day. Would also be handy for seeing friends of mine in Vancouver.
And Avis, you’re arranging a one-on-one meet?! With who?!
Three guesses.
My failance of course!
Erm…Loz might have missed that whole dealie there…
Eh yep… missed it…
I just realized that.
Loz, I mean Christopher. And he is planing on visiting my town, I have had no hand in the planning of this.
Oh, so it’s not the romantic internet-relationship meeting that I had built up in my head?
I definitely recommend them though, that’s how I met my girlfriend. Nothing more romantic than meeting the love of your life for the first time at an airport… *reminisces happily*
Awww! That’s sweet!
Google is a search engine on the web. It has been around for YEARS. It is NOT a British thing. How have you NOT seen the internet if you are a doctor?
You don’t need to look at the internet to be a doctor
What rock DID you climb from under?
I have been doing research
Under?
People this, er, individual is spreading fertilizer about this site; possibly in preparation for spring planting.
Shame on the lot of you for falling for it for so long. Tsk tsk.
We’re only baiting the troll. We don’t for a minute believe them.
*raises eyebrow*
Some damn fine acting going on here.
What she ^ said. C’mon, coyote, we were just wishing for an old-fashioned type of troll to play with…let us have some fun!
Ok, we’re starved for a worthy troll and this is what came along. It’s not worthy, but it responded. Granted, we need a more advanced foe than this, but one takes what one can get, sometimes.
What Dragon^ said. I was afraid of sparking off another argument, so I refrained from saying “Let us have fun? Please?”
No.
Plllbbbbbbbt. :p~~
Aw, come on! PLEEEEEEASE???
*innocent eyes*
How did none of you guys think that one would need
INTERNET to see Failblog?
*blinks in surprise*
CIS, I think you’re making the mistake of assuming we believe the troll. We don’t.
Please don’t put any weight on my ramblings CIS. Unless I am going off on one of my tirades, unmistakable by their wordiness, all is said in jest.
*after 4 minutes of scrolling down through the wank troll*
I know, it was so obvious only a troll wouldn’t get it.
I just thought some1 would actually have a very
witty thing to say about that, something that must
have eluded me while reading the posts.
BOGGY grabsTourettes LOLby the neck and throws her up in the air. BOGGY see is TROLLS can FLIES!*SPLAAT!!!*
NOPE! TROLLS not can FLIES!HA HA HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!
*STOMP! SQUISH!*
TROLL flat like frizbee!BOGGY Throw! Who pway catches wif BOGGY?
Wow my formatting is screwed up.
I am actually astonished by your post. Try looking closer into the comments.
I’ll play catch, Boggy!
But only if you promise not to squash me.
KO BFF Freind! You goes stands by London Bridge an I stands by Beg Bin!Okay. Wait a mo.
*hops onto Tube train and gets off at Westminster Station*
I’m ready. Throw at will!
No! Will is back in Fail BOG thwacking Trolls with Beeg stik!BOGGY pwaying wif BFF Frind! Why BFF not at London Bridge?
Whoops! Hang on a mo.
*boards next train to London Bridge station*
Okay, I’m at the bridge. Ready when you are!
HA HA HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!
BFF funny frend!London Bridge in a dessert on Azirona USA
BOGGY Seened it!
BOGGY pwayed Troll under bridge wif Touristes
Then them alls runned away!
HA HA HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!
Wow…does this mean I have to board the next plane to Arizona? Good god. I’ll throw the frisbee from here. Catch!
*sends frisbee in FedEx*
♪ ♫♫ London Bridge failing downs, failing downs, failing downs
London Brigde is failing downs MY FaiL Lady! ♪ ♫♫HA HA HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!
Nvm it seems that I can’t express myself today (or most days this week for that matter), just go on playing with BOGGY and forget what I said.
Miss Tourettes LOL, if you’re still out there, I get the impression that
a) English is not your best language
b) You are from a country with limited internet access, or
c) where women don’t use the Internet as much as men do.
If so, welcome to the Internet & please handle your English carefully.
If not, you’re not a very interesting troll.
That last part nearly had me spraying wine all over my laptop.
Well done!
Thanks Avis (and I’m glad you could continue to enjoy your wine)!
penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis
hey bee boop? how you beeping wanna come booping avec moi ; )
: P
penis
ctrl+c
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…
Is tht david cameroons bike??
Oh for crying out loud…where the hell are these people coming from? Has the Labour Party found out how to comment on Failblog? Disaster!
Can someone tell me where this picture was taken…i need a new bike
I’ve just been reminded of a quote from Emo Philips, the comedian:
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
I have just added that to my thought of the day collection.
I’m hono(u)red.
Here is one from the collection.
The love of truth lies at the root of much humor. — Robertson Davies
Hello. *waves*
I know we haven’t spoken directly much, but could I ask if you’ve read much Robertson Davies? I was considering buying some of his works, in particular the Deptford Trilogy as what I’ve read regarding the story sounds fascinating.
A Mixture of Frailties is my favorite of his.
Thankyou
I can’t read that, it has silent E’s!
You must construct additional pylons.
StarCraft win
once apon a time,uyahdu uhduaojushho ihjoaijhdahuhsfuchau dhiojsdiajhiuchauohfc oua cucoaiiduisajdoui auoaduhdoiasjidhaoidiajodjuoaauhweudoaeu oaucdahuewhofheuhfjoauf auofeufao efeieieiei aipj fa ayifhajcn aucaucn soncjsdjihdcvhsuiv dshnudjvcushio esuohoufhsodoj fihauhiuahsu d uachoauhif fdsaihdhiahs disahduihajicx asihwuojsusahuhwdi iajdasijdiha idhua afohfdihauofa huswaochuahodc hsoiaj auygc usoa cia scusoa acu hau cyahcuusua ucaihcuhgggajhdihujsaicuua auihcajhuocaihcubiua c auic uaic aihihaf ia niuaushushs aua hdoahdha abduaouw. and they all lived happily ever after
BOGGY Like you storee tale, it end nice!BOGGY not EAT YOU! You maked nice storie!
BOGGY just SQUISHES AND STOMPS YOU!
HA HA HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!
Wah! Squeeze becoming extinct!
(clicky)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
*squeeze!squeeze!squeeze!squeeze!squeeze!*
I’ll do my part for the cause!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!
*squeezesqueezesqueezesqueezesqueeze*
Did you read the article? Did you find it peculiar they listed two and three as two of the oldest words, but not one? I know the concept of zero or nothing is relatively new, but one?
It is the loneliest number, after all.
And yes, I did read it…fascinating!
I thought three was a lonelier number?
Three is sadder because it emphasizes the “one”.
But then again, three is the magic number
I thought that was 42?
That’s what you get when you multiply six by nine.
Mikey! We can breed-up the squeeze numbers to a
healthy level…but what if it’s a habitat issue?
If it’s a habitat issue, I vote we go comment on every blog site we can with *squeeze* to see where they breed well.
We need a contingency plan…just in case our virtual world crashes.
.
I’m off to the shop…let’s see if we can get some traction in rl…
ooh, yes. That’s a good idea. We should try drop it into everyday conversation in rl to ensure it stays.
.
Have a good shop! *waves*
Six by WHAT?
No, it’s “one if by land”, silly.
I get why some words will drop out of common usage, but why “squeeze” and of all things “bad”?
I know. You’d think less common words, like “abattoir” or “pedomorphic” would go sooner. In fact, this spell checker doesn’t even know the word “pedomorphic.”
And yes, I am absolutely sure I’m spelling it right.
*snork*
Hammykins, you are utterly adorable.
*squeeze*
There are plenty of words I would be happy never to see again. Why is it that these are never the words that fall out of favo(u)r?
For instance “phat”.
I have my reasons.
Seems that the frat boys that grow up into the father of frat boys wont let Pretty Hot And Tempting go. I think this word came into existence because some quick witted guy made the error of calling his wife fat. Though I’m not ruling out a woman calling a guy that. (equal opportunity.)
Frat boys grow up?
Will wonders never cease?!
*wonders if this is a knock or a general question*
Well technically (*voice rises as when asking a question*) eventually they grow up?
I’d say they get older rather than grow up.
It’s a knock.
Like a personal one? Referencing me as a frat boy is what i meant in my question.
Frat boys as a whole. Exceptions can always be made.
Oh okay well thanks for the benefit of a doubt. I don’t think frats are as popular here in Canada as they are in America. All i know of them is from your t.v. stations broadcasting here. I also don’t think frats would accept game/computer programmers to be.
I could make some analogies, but they may not go over so wellwith the group as a whole. And a Frat might accept such a person, if only to boost the house GPA.
Frat’s here tend to be comprised of the lowest common denominators.
*ahem*
*inserts space between “well’ and “with”*
Analogy away please I wish to know your train of thought. Gaining someone’s perspective always benefits both sides. Me gaining a broader view, and you allowing people to see where you are coming from. Okay so its not beneficial on both sides, I just got to know.
First ROFL today. Well played.
Spell check in Yahoo!mail doesn’t even recognise the word “internet,” but they want to discontinue the word “bad?” How lame is that?!
Actually, I’d expect this. You don’t need to add ‘one’ behind ‘mammoth’ to clarify the number of mammoth, but you do need a number behind a plural to confirm how many multiple items there are.
*SQUEEZE!*
Woohoo!
*SQUEEZE!* back atcha.
Pah! *SQUEEEEEEEZE*
Take that, scientists!
how fricken retarded can a person be?
You tell us.
No no…s/he’s actually showing us, not telling us. Well done!
Hee!
Jim Dangle!!!!!!!
No, he’d lock his to a 12-foot street light. Yet some kid would still figure out a way to wedge the bike over the pole…
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Actually, that bike is perfectly safe. That green “bot” in the background is armed and prepared to instantly wheel around and zap any thieves that try to take the bike.
Dude, can I have some of what you’re smoking?
1- I am not a “dude.”
2- Think OUTSIDE the box!
3- Sure, ear…*passes doobie*
Maybe that should have been:
3- Sure, “‘ere…”
*passes doobie*
But what do I know? Hmmm? After all, I’ve been “smokin!’”
(That’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it!)
I know where this is, it happens all the time. The best thing is to take a bike and just switch it with another idiots bike.
That’s my bike! Well it is now anyway. I take it. Ha.
All your base are belong to us
*I’m risking a life here*
Out of curiosity, how many “Fails” back does the average FAILblogger go back to view comments?
Just wondering, as I am by nature, curious…
*Personally, if I am up-to-date on the comments, I go back 1 day.*
*Wishes there were more night owls/cats with which to comment.*
Did I get my grammar correct on that last sentence DW/Loz?
*seriously*
For me it’s the day’s fails only. So see you at the next one.
It’s hard for me to believe that of the billions of people on this planet, that out of the thousands of people that view FAILblog, and the hundreds who comment, that not even a dozen are night owls/cats? I must be one of a kind.
*sigh*
*Trolls need not apply, as I now have a new pair of “Troll-Erase 5000″ glasses.
(see Loz’ comment at 11:37 am on “Pricetag Placement” FAIL as reference.)
I am up in the afternoons here which is GMT +2, and America is fast asleep. zzzzZZZZZzzzz…(i’m in South Africa)
ching chong ching ching chong chong chong
He really loves his Bike….
OMG! Such an intellectual comment, I think I’m going to pass out!
*gets dizzy*
*catches Sidhe cat before she passes out*
*rights her*
There you go…:D
Thank you.
FAIL FAIL FAIL.
Lmao it’s Cameron’s bike
Awesome
That’s my wife bike!
Wow this is one odd conversation
i’m surprised the bike is still there when the picture was taken
465th comment
I want to see the back of the pole before judging this..
I’ll tell you were this is, it’s at Waterford Lakes in Orlando Florida. Right in front of Best Buy.
Bike EX-owner fail, you mean….
Me too, i dn’t know that..but supermarket man retailer ask me”Is that you byke out o there?..well someone can steal it easy..with just up and go…”that the history, it happends…
Que burro, impossÃvel de roubar.. hehehe
Somebody went out and set this up so they’d have something to submit to FailBlog. Kinda funny.
Only a gay burglar will touch a giant dildo just to steal a bike…
oooo boy.
he’s a pea brain
LAST POST!
There’s a “he made a slip-up” joke in there somewhere…
FAIL L:D
mega LOL!
my bike
…
epic fail on a stick
wanker
Worst. ASCII art. EVER!
Your RSI really seems to be two fold, today.
Or one fold, and copy and paste seems to be wearing out.
Whoops, I just roffled!
*goes to clean up*
No, I think he just REALLY likes Olympic skater Michelle Kwan.