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Cheezburger Network Blog
This truck isn’t heavy! It’s big boned!
i wanted first….
Sorry, no can do. It’s my job to keep Firsters from posting first here. Go to the cheezburger page; they love Firsters. But you’ll have to learn lolspeak, too. Good luck!
Well done!
Isn’t easy finding parking on university campuses…
That’s why you should ride the University bus. It’s free with college ID.
.
((smooch))
.
Happy Friday!
Hey, Happy Friday back!
I’m afraid they’re all Bozos on that bus, though…
I usually just ride the short bus to school.
I knew you looked familer!
How could you tell? With all that window licking going on, how did you see anyone’s faces?
Her name is not window, it’s velvet!
HAHAHAHAHA! I love it!
Somehow I knew you would
*ponders the singular possessive next to the plural noun*
WOH.
I like it.
yu misspeled new.
sory, Ill try hardar next tyme.
U sed hardar!
hur hur
used hardon? Ok, but this is going to hurt you more that me.
*than
*goes back to speling thangs incorektly sos peepol wont notes*
I hope you’re not going to collide that large hardon! 0.0
My particles aren’t big enough….:-(
B2th, my experience with “used hardons” is quite a disappointing one. They’re lazy and don’t tend to pay attention when they’re asked to stand up and get back to work.
Exactly. There’s nothing quite like a fresh, ready-to-go hardon when you need to take care o’ bidness, is there? They’ll plunge right in, deeply involved in what matters, enthusiastic and energized. They can be quite explosive, in fact.
*blink*
Well. This is a lovely way to start my blog day.
*Hands Dragon a clear plastic tarp like they use on Gallagher*
You may need this; might get messy.
*offers a Haz-Mat suit if that doesn’t seem sufficiently protective*
See “used orgasm usage” below for further information…
Happy Friday!
Do you come up with these replies on the spot or do you work on good lines from the voting section?
On the spot, usually. Sometimes I only need to read the title.
*admires velvet’s je ne sais quoi*
Aw, thanks! It also helps to be a goofball and to like stupid comedy (movies, standup, etc). You can get a lot of ideas that way!
Have you considered psychedelic drugs?
Don’t bother, they just make you type lolspeak and become convinced your pets are speaking to you.
You mean they don’t? I guess I’ll have to cancel that theological discussion I was going to have with my cat later today.
Are cats buddhist?
I was going to find out, but unfortunately, on this side of the wardrobe, they don’t talk.
I don’t know but dogs, pray to the god of bacon.
They are Hair Krishnas.
Some are Catolicks.
And I admire their dogma
I new a Chewish dog once.
I swear I typed a ‘k’…honest.
Oi.
Jessica, I guess we should cancel our orders for that discount “ROSETTA is STONED” Animal Language Learning courses. Damn! I was so looking forward to chatting with Skwerlly Bob and Fluffy the Fish later on. But if animals can’t talk…
You always try to get one of those Babelfish from Hitchhiker’s Guide. Just don’t confuse them with earworms…that’s just a mental breakdown waiting to happen.
Yikes. You could end up hearing “It’s a Small World” in Farsi.
Amber, I think they already processed my payment. What a scam! Although according to Boggy and Bondfan I used to be (or maybe still am) a newt.
Maybe you misunderstood?
Did BOGGY jam the words “NEW” and “CUTE” together
perhaps? He does that somewhat often.
Or Bonfan was running around with his Harry Potter Wand that day? Even so, the spell should have worn off by now!
Heh, I guess I was having a flashback. But, its nice to think Boggy thinks so highly of me. And Bondfan should never have access to a Harry Potter Wand again.
Looks like the spell wore off enough that you called him “Bonfan”.
The entrance exam at cheezburger is brutal too . . .
you wil need that, i have been there and they speak really weird english, if you can understand half of it, your lucky
仁多な平屋また仁摩やるたなはさはなやみやな
Screw you guys, It’s going home … not
This photo is 100% shot in Romania… Yeah baby ! Stupid romanians…
damn this is from romania.it’s in a village named miristea and it happenned in 2008.i know all this because i am from romania:((
first….. yeah i said it!!!!!!!!!!!
(cue Homer Simpson)
.
D’OH!
(choking velvet) WHY YOU LITTLE…… i’ll get you for ….not….giving….me…..first
we shall travel to our trolls cave. we shall soon have our PRRREEECIIIIIIOOOUUSSSSS!!!!!!!
Hey. You. Joe.
Don’t be choking velvet.
*spins joe up into the air counterclockwise and boots him into the bog*
My hero!
.
swoon
*dusts off right foot*
*grabs WhoaNellie, puts him in the convertible, and takes off for the coast*
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
*grabs hat as it flies off*
She’s got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away
You’ve gotta make a decision
You’ll leave tonight or live and die this way. . .
Start all over
Start all over
Start all over
Start all over
*watches convertible drive off as Mookie’s Mig flies overhead*
Where is everybody going?
Sorry… I meant Mikey’s Mig.
Please don’t make me have to embarass myself again.
Ooooohh! TROLL! BOGGY kan pway now!Comes heer nu TROLL
*picks up joe mama by his toes and licks him*Troll taste TOO CLEAN! BOGGY WASH U!
*dunks joe mama into gloppy part of BOG*Swims leetle Troll! SWIMS FAST! Pirahnas gunna eat U!hehehe… Good ta see ya, BOGGY!
(cue Nelson Muntz)
.
HAA HAAAAA
orgasm FAIL
See what you get for buying used orgasms? They almost never work.
Not true. I bought one off eBay the other day and that worked fine.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW…
better then used “.’”s
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW….X 10
Still better than a used “:”
Or a used “*”
Or a hand-me-down “!”
And not just any old “\” is acceptable.
My point of view: A Good “Used Orgasm” or even a “Certified Pre-Experienced Orgasm” can only be found in the “Adults Only Area” of the Video Rental Store.
The Internet offers “Multiple” ((ha ha)) Choices the quality varies but you can at least shop in Privacy.
Shop carefully and wisely, some unsuspecting illiterate people have would up with Unexpected and Unwanted Organisms in their Beds!
And please – ALWAYS wash them before you use them!
were did de used orgasms come from all of the sudden?!
and were can i buy one…….?
But do you feel better? Has it brought happiness to your depressing life? I didn’t think so.
crap…almost
Proves the importance of putting rebar in your concrete structures.
I’d like to reinforce your centiment.
Agreed, that argument is rock solid.
The shear joy of how you link your comments together is astounding.
Which proves the importance of proper linkage maintenance in the trucking industry.
Amazing how it all ties together…
Romania, I assume?
Yes, in the Transaxylvania region.
LOLz – 5 points
+1 Gold Star!
And + 100 *smooch!*es.
Thanks, I needed those!
Oo. In that case here’s a shopping list of things for you…
100 *smooches*
100 *HUGS!*
50 *nuzzlesmooches*
50 *snogroflhugs*
10 *gropes*
5 *separations from socks*
1 *CENSORED!!!*
I hope my credit will cover all of that! Perhaps we can work out a trade.
Oh no…everything is given freely with no expectations of anything
in return. Reciprocation, however, is ALWAYS welcome!
*Curiousity Peaks* *Wiki’s*
What is “*snogroflhugs*” exactly?
It sounds both Interesting and Scary!
Nope, not Wiki-able.
It’s our own invention…snogging and hugging while rolling on the floor. It makes for a a safe and enjoyable landing after a POUNCING!*
*Slips extra “a” in pocket before someone else notices*
OKAY THEN! Now all I need is the definition for SNOGGING.
*thinks* {{well, it could be “snuggling like a hog”… No, maybe “snoozing with hugging” or “snow hogging”}} *gives up*
Mikey D is the expert on snogging around here.
You were that blonde in the bar! I knew it! Although you only had the one head then and called yourself Phil.
Lol. That bridge was too tall and got stuck trying to get under the truck.
hehe… squished it like a little bug.
…broke it like a little stick.
Smashed it like a little troll.
…split it like a little condom.
….pounded like a 2 dollar whore.
How do you top a 2 dollar whore?
With aplomb?
With Bacon, Sour Cream & Chives?
With nuts and cream.
Several squirts on the cream?
I always like a cherry on top!
There will never be any cherries around a 2 dollar whore.
…banana split.
With a fire-axe, then stuff her in a whorebag for disposal?
Where would I find, this said “whorebag” if someone, hypothetically, needed it?
You can buy the expensive ones online, but I always preferred the simplicity of a burlap sack…maybe write “whorebag” on it with a magic marker, to make it seem legit.
Do you underline it?
Second question, where does one buy a burlap sack?
Ummm, have you tried: http://www.burlapsacks.com
Did I mention how much I love the internet?
If it exist, in any form; conceptual, impossible, practical, fake,actual, new, used, damaged, tangible and intangible, then it is or will immediately be on the internet. And if it is, there’s a porn of it available for the right price.
In case there was any doubt…
http://www.zazzle.com/whore_bag-149855499949806714
Don’t think that would fit a whole whore, though.
Bacon, Sour Cream & Chives?
Romania, again!?
Stupid towns with their cheap bridges.
They’re going to push this truck into the stream and build a better bridge across the top of it.
The fundaments of that bridge will be strong!
OMG.
Is that one o’ them fundamentalist bridges???
They fight imperialist trucks guerilla-style: Drag the enemy in your territory and make sure he never leaves.
a bridge to far, good war movie
yes but it WAS historically significant
Looks like he’s dumping a load. Poor thing couldn’t hold on.
Spooky….
That’s weirded me out.
That’s bizarre because I’ve been totally weirded in.
Like… woh.
No fail. This is just near where I live. It is a lavatory for trucks.
F1111111111111RST!!!!
ps Am packing. Am bored.
Packing? Packing heat or packing for a trip? If you’re going somewhere warm, take me with you!!
I’m going to Germany. It will be warm eventually but… you’d probably better pack your own heat.
Victoire!
Oui, cheri?
Sie sind die besten!
*giggles*
*juggles*
*jiggles*
*niggles*
*wiggles*
*wiggles*
*diggles*
*dangles*
*wrangles*
*hangs loose*
*cuts loose*
*Foot’s loose*
*checks foot*
*checks fancy*
Yup. And fancy’s free.
*where’s nancy?*
packing potatoes!
AaHHH! BAD EYES MAN! BAD BAD BAD!You SCARE BOGGY! You SCARE my Bond Frind!
*STOMP SQUISH STOMP STOMP SMUSH!!*
He always ignored the requests that he ought to dump his load.
that’s what she said…….
Yup, half of a Dacia in the background + the tower thats far away…100% Romanian stuff
That bridge is from Minnesota so 99.99982% Romanian anyway.
Minnesota: “The land of 10,000 Romanians”
Oh, therrrrrrrrre’s a truck in my moat, get it out, get it out. There’s a truck in my moat get it out, get it out.
*does a jig*
*eats a fig*
*pilots a mig*
*wears a wig*
*lights a cig*
*burns a twig*
*sells AIG*
*locks the brig*
*excavates the dig*
*accosts a whig*
*Offers a swig*
*Zags a Zig*
Herrases a pig
*buys a copy of Big*
*welds with a TIG*
*pokes a pig*
*plans a gig*
*dons a wig*
Geesh. I hereby protesteth – my wig came first and lo, it’s been supplanted, vertically speaking, by Arthur’s wig!!
Oh, the shame. The horror. The general disappointment.
*feels sorry*
Oi!
*screams and runs off*
*hands Arthur a margarita*
*sniffs*
*hugs Arthur in an embarrassingly intimate way*
Oi!
*screams and runs off*
*screams and runs off*
Okay…WHY are all of you impersonating BFF??
Oh yes. That never actually occured to me. Hahahahaha.
A *squeeze* for your observational prowess.
*comes back quietly*
*watches the Hershey man without panic*
*maks lotts off speling mistackes*
Better?
FIRST!
Your protest has been duly noted WN…
aww the big tires upfront made it, but the baby tires in the back didnt :\
Smaller surface area to spread the load out.
load?? load of illegals made it across the street then, finally!
It was carrying several hundreds of gallons of water. Can you not see it puddled beneath the truck?
There’s a screaming face on the end of that wall. The bridge was his friend.
hah, I didn’t see that at first….It’s haunted!
Note the potato in front of the screaming face.
Probably the vicar’s truck.
I think I can actualy spot a troll under this bridge! He is peeking his head and hand up from behing a rock on the right side.
That was weird. Your comment encompassed both of mine and was sandwiched between them
*is spooked*
Tis the failforce.
Haha, you can’t get past my forcefail!
Yes I can, I’ll just walk right around it like this.
*walks around forcefail*
Ah, foiled again.
*scampers off*
He was screaming “firstttttttttt,” but the bridge collapsed on to him. Sadly, his fail will go unnoticed and uncared for.
Where will all the trolls live now?
With no place to live the trolls are going to be roaming around the fail blog.
*begins placing anti-troll mines*
Venice has a couple of bridges…
I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we reach it.
And we’ll huff and we’ll puff and we’ll… no, wait… no… nothing.
*whistles*
Who’s that trip-trapping over my bridge?
Yes! That’s it!
Trip-trapping. That’s what I was looking for.
Thank heavens for Mikey D.
I think someone did a little to much huffing and not enough puffing.
I have the impression that my dog is talking to me.
Wait…
I has a hotdog?
lol
Well, I hope you have a safe journey to Germany if I don’t see you before then and a cracking time over there. Hopefully you’ll have internet access so we don’t have to miss you.
*SQUEEZE*
*SQWEEEZE!!*
Thank you Mikey D. I know that die internäten in Germany sind fine in general but I think they are going to be slow where I’m staying.
Hopefully I will be able to check from time to time, though.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’ll miss you guys.
SQUEEZE!!
Hello Mikey D!
I have missed you, like, a little bit.
*Extra-special SQUEEZE*
Hey Bod! Where have you been? How come you are off to Germany?
I’ve just returned from the far-flung climes of Castleford.
Castleford! How thrilling. Where is it?
I have been around but too crap to post. I’m moving out of my flat and putting all my stuff in storage and going to Germany for three months for a theatre project and then, when I come back, I don’t quite know where I am going to live. So… somewhere in there is some kind of excuse.
North of Pontefract (Which means broken bridge and ties in nicely with this fail), which is to the East of Wakefield. Or Between Leeds and Hull on the M62.
Oooh, what’s the theatre project? Are you an actor or are you behind stage?
Which part of Germany, if you don’t mind my asking?
How is Bod going to reply to both questions, you ask?
Simple. Regardez:
I’m going to work as an actor in Berlin. And Halle. And Erlangen. And various other places.
*preens*
So far North, Mikey D! Did you get dizzy?
*admires Bod’s preening, but wonders if it’s all an act*
Just to answer a question you (Bod) will ask yourself in a couple of days: No, not all Berliners hate you. They’re always like that. Start worrying when they’re friendly!
Thank you, Arthur. I’ll remember that.
Just in case, though, I am investing in some skinny jeans and a pair of ridiculous wrap-around glasses. Maybe some kind of white jacket. And a very small, square bag. My haircut is already pretty bad so that shouldn’t make me stand out.
A bad hair cut is the result of confusing Berbers with Barbers.
Or running with scissors.
Next question next question.
What is the production and what is your part?
(See how I combined two questions into one? I’ll expect you to reply to two different people with an answer apiece)
.
Funnily enough yes, but that was due to the heavy lifting work out on site. Oop North is grand, the scenery more scenic and the aire more atmospheric!
(That was a pun referring to the river Aire. Honest)
*watches Mike (Mike??) sternly*
*puts bukkit away*
I seem to be having some sort of identity crisis.
It happens to the best of us.
Having funs the main part. And it does sound like an adventure.
The production doesn’t exist yet so my part is likewise yet unknown. I just… I can’t see how to make that more than one answer. I’m sorry. That’s the best I can do. Really.
Hmm. Scenery would be nice.
Water musician he was!
You had a nice handel on that reply, Mikey!
Good to see you bach, DrB!
Bod,
When you’re in Erlangen, don’t miss to visit “Brauereigaststätte Penning-Zeissler in Hetzelsdorf (clicky), 50 km to the north-east.
They brew the best beer in the world.
Pittsburgh.
I’ve heard that Yorkshire is very beautiful. I don’t know it at all but my grandmother had very fond (and oft-related) memories of the countryside around Whitby. Well worth photographing, apparently.
Carrying Rosie O’Donnell back there…
It’s going to be a production about Handel, given that it is some kind of anniversary this year.
That’s exciting, getting to find out when you get there. I’m assuming you know others in the production rather than having to fend for yourself from scratch?
The scenery is beautiful. I love to explore and photograph it.
Yes, yes, I know all of the people. If it were just me and my harmonica I might feel a little more scared. As it is I’m still nervous but at least I know that it will be fun.
Doh, scratch my “handel” ref! ^^^
I’m not the ref and I will not scratch your ‘handel’. Get off the pitch. You disgust me.
He never discussed you, he was remarking on his previous comment.
Is anyone remarking on the current comment yet?
Who made a comment about currents?
There’s no raisin to take that tone.
This is not the date to be so berry picky.
Let’s not get all meloncholy.
Grape. Just grape.
What’s eating you, Gilbert?
No comment.
So many cars and trucks falling on stuff and things as of late. Hope they change this up!
aww cheer up, Dominic… if it werent for these things, then we’d be stuck watching boring stuff like umm… news
Whitby is one of my favourite places, I have many photos of there and the surrounding area. It’s a shame that Fylingdales radar base is such a blot on the landscape.
maybe it is just trying to taste that delicious looking spring water?
http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/category/jack-grabber
!!!!!111!!!!!1!!!!!!one!!!!!
(first)
I get up in the morning just to see idiots like this make my day
,
i do what i can
i am super troll, at your service
A super troll would know when a person was aiming a comment at them.
Can’t they both be idiots? :/
Anpu says this is just a dumber attempt at aquiring hybrids. Those are two completely different species. They’re genetically incompatable.
Well, after a hard day here, at least you get to see lots of funny things on your way home
funny as in “haha” funny or “kids on the short bus” funny?
STOP EVERYTHING!
Mr. T was just singing ‘The hills are alive with the sound of music’ on the radio.
I’m in some kind of heaven, it was marvellous.
So, who would win in a fight between Mr T. and Chuck Norris?
Mr. T, by dint of sheer enthusiasm and the calibre of sketches about him. (clicky)
A blot indeed.
Romania strikes again! We have another epic fail to be proud of!
I smell ROMANIA!!
I taste Romania!!
what side was the steering wheel on ?
On the left.
Romania… gotta love it!:)
it’s so obvious once uve been there
where’s the driver? ghost
Thats not a fail! It’s how they discover the load limit! Then they rebuild it just as strong and hope nothing goes wrong.
And here is romania again
you gotta love our country
Asa e in Romania. :X
taci in pula mea
eh.. nu e numa’ la noi, s-a mai vazut..
tipic romanesc, in schimb, e sa dai cu p*la-n gura daca nu-ti convine parerea celuilalt, si ai impresia ca iti “jigneste” tara.
Mie mi-e dor de casa cand vad asa ceva…
I see a ghost in the light green house o__O
owww fantastic:D
interesting..
This the failforce.
Romania .. again ..
Romania! ta ta ta ta ta! Rooomaaaniiiaaa!
Looks like it’s in Romania
I’ve actually seen this type of fail live! the bridge collapsed and the rear axle broke as well! xD
Brotherhood win.
hehe romania : D
Yeah…Romania!!! Fail #1
hahaha…is this in romania?
bine ati venit in romania
la noi se potriveste reclama de la adidas
impossible is nothing
Home sweet home
Thats why trucks shouldnt eat at mcdonalds
failure