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hahahaha…. ET the horny bastard
FIRST
Houston, we have a fail.
Now you can give Steven Spielberg the finger, E.T. style!
I heard they used a finger double for ET in that movie.
Doesn’t surprise me. Look how thick his finger really is!
I heard he couldn’t get it to light up on demand!
If only there was a pill to help with these kind of problems!
……………………………………..________……………………
………………………………,.-‘”……………….“~.,………………
………………………..,.-”……………………………..“-.,…………
…………………….,/………………………………………..”:,……..
…………………,?………………………………………………\,…..
………………./…………………………………………………..,}….
……………../………………………………………………,:`^`..}….
……………/……………………………………………,:”………/…..
…………..?…..__…………………………………..:`………../…..
…………./__.(…..“~-,_…………………………,:`………./……..
………../(_….”~,_……..“~,_………………..,:`…….._/………..
……….{.._$;_……”=,_…….“-,_…….,.-~-,},.~”;/….}………..
………..((…..*~_…….”=-._……“;,,./`…./”…………../…………
…,,,___.\`~,……“~.,………………..`…..}…………../………….
…………(….`=-,,…….`……………………(……;_,,-”……………
…………/.`~,……`-………………………….\……/\……………….
………….\`~.*-,……………………………….|,./…..\,__………..
,,_……….}.>-._\……………………………..|…………..`=~-,….
…..`=~-,_\_……`\,……………………………\……………………
……………….`=~-,,.\,………………………….\…………………..
…………………………..`:,,………………………`\…………..__..
……………………………….`=-,……………….,%`>–==“…….
…………………………………._\……….._,-%…….`\……………
……………………………..,<`.._|_,-&“…………….`\…………..
Wow! I’m impressed!
On second thought… I think I’m slightly offended since it’s a reply to my comment. 10% offended, 90% impressed.
*sings jingle*
“Vi-va Vi-agra!”
so you took the ice cream to?
…To… Where? Or did you mean ‘Too’? Then who originally took the ice cream? What kind of ice cream? Can I get a bowl of this supposed ice cream? Was it made by E.T.? With that finger? Nevermind.
It was another fail reference.
hahaha
Amazing!
Neat!
Sweet!
Dude!
DUDE! What’s mine say?
SWEET! What’s mine say?
*SQUEEZE*
*SQUEEZE* I should make my next tattoo a moomin!
Hee!
I thought you would prefer a much-missed little ceramic sheep?
I do miss my little ceramic sheep! Do you know he is?
No, sadly not, was hoping you may have a clue. He’s a very erratic sheep.
i’m going to get a tattoo on my finger… of a bigger finger.
What is it? A duck?
No, it’s sketched after life. It’s you holding your hand before your eyes.
its your mum
Which part I wonder. Urgghh…
_____________________________________________________________________________________
________:________________:________________:________________:________________:________
__________i_______________i_______________i_______________i_______________i__________
____________i______________i______________i______________i______________i____________
i_____________i_____________i_____________i_____________i_____________i_____________i
___X____________X____________X____________X____________X____________X____________X___
_____]X[_________]X[_________]X[_________]X[_________]X[_________]X[_________]X[_____
________XXX________XXX________XXX________XXX________XXX________XXX________XXX________
_XXX_______XXX_______XXX_______XXX_______XXX_______XXX_______XXX_______XXX_______XXX_
[___]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[___]
XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX
XXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXX
XXX_XXXXX_XXXXX_XXXXX_XXXXX_XXXXX_XXXXX_XXXXX_XXXXX_XXXXX_XXXXX_XXXXX_XXXXX_XXXXX_XXX
XXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXXXX__XXX
XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX___XXXXX
[___]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[____]XXX[___]
_XXX_______XXX_______XXX_______XXX_______XXX_______XXX_______XXX_______XXX_______XXX_
________XXX________XXX________XXX________XXX________XXX________XXX________XXX________
_____]X[_________]X[_________]X[_________]X[_________]X[_________]X[_________]X[_____
___X____________X____________X____________X____________X____________X____________X___
i_____________i_____________i_____________i_____________i_____________i_____________i
____________i______________i______________i______________i______________i____________
__________i_______________i_______________i_______________i_______________i__________
________:________________:________________:________________:________________:________
Wow! That’s…symmetrical!?
Is that a duck?
It’s an exploded diagram of a duck.
No, a diagram of an exploded duck.
Duck hunting with an assault rifle…
No, a diaphragm of an exploded duck.
The church does not approve.
The IUD of an exploded duck.
The IUD exploded the duck?
The IUD negated the f***?
The duck was DUI?
Duck Under Investigation?
That would require a private duck.
it is 3D if you move the bar beneath it.
Ah Jean-Luc. Very nice.
Ooooh… fail number two. Nice try on the TOTALLY ORIGINAL copy/paste text art though.
Vi-va Vi-agra!
(That was supposed to nest under Arthur’s “90% impressed” comment!.)
Grrr…
*flicks tail agitatedly*
here kitty kitty kitty
*chacing cat around the fail bog*
^chases
*treats jules to some granny cakes*
In this case it is preferable to use the term “stand-ing”.
Or “hand-ing”.
lololololololololololololol
Sod off you idiot. And stop linking to your dumb ricer car page, it blows.
That is funny. Especially “It’s thinking like that that starts wars.”
thats funny. escentially im
thinking of starting to like star wars
It’s thinking like that that starts cars.
dolphin eater
*hits with a pan*
I’m thinking that it has more to do with the fact that the page’s most useful piece of information is: “Sorry But You Do Not Appear To Be The Vehicle Owner”.
you think the 206 is a good car? Have you actually driven it? It’s a shed with
extra torque steer!
Yes, I’ve driven a 206. You have to adjust your driving style to compensate for the fact that it’s a FWD hatchback. They handle differently than everything else. A friend of mine brought his back with him after visiting Europe, and I’ve got to say, if he ever sells the car I’ll buy it. 206s are notorious for understeer, but then again, any front wheel drive car can be hated for that. Just look at the Dodge SRT-4. 220hp front-wheel-drive. Car has understeer like you wouldn’t believe. The 206 is a dream compared to the SRT-4. The best way to improve their handling is to add a little more weight to the back, adjust your suspension, and get better tires. They’re pretty decent cars, once you figure out the best way to drive them, for you.
That guy takes cars way to serious, imo.
Cars are what I do, man.
I get paid to work on/build/rebuild cars.
I’ve raced cars for 15 years.
It’s natural to me, now.
WAY too seriously. I’m with you on this one Arthur.
Don’t forget Italian cars. Lambos are famous for their speed.
Sooo true. But also, absurd prices.
…
tl;dr*eats 3000GT with 800bhp 3.0 liter V6*BURP! HA HA HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!
I put less than $8,000 USD into my 426 Hemi and I get >1200 bhp w/ NOS. Without the smack, I’m probably still around 800 bhp and at least 600 ft/lb torque. My vehicle weighs nearly twice what yours does and could still eat it alive any day.
My larger engine also has the strength to deal with higher pressures, temperatures, and overall stresses than your little import V6. Basically, it will last far longer when driven under extreme performance.
You can imagine and dream all you want that your Mitsu 3000GT is some kind of supercar, but dollar for dollar, nothing beats good old-fashioned American muscle.
I have a Ford Focus. It’s green.
Read it and weep.
I can top that…
I own a ford focus too, but mine is silver and has damage on the rear passenger door where a front loader backed into it.
Oops – sorry about that – didn’t see you down there …
*weeps*
VW Polo. Faint red. 12 years old. Bumps and bruises everywhere.
Mercedes C220, 9 years old. Engine stops every time right after I ignited. Sometimes even stops after I drive a few hundred meters. I had it fixed 3 (three!) times now but it keeps coming back. Last week the motor from the windscreen wiper gave out during a storm! I was glad to make it back alive.
I have to unlock my car on the left door and look it on the right. The electric window on the driver side moves with about 2 cm per minute and closing it takes even longer. And makes a horrible sound like *squeeeeeeeeeek* At drive-ins everybody laughs at me.
tl;dr
lol I had a 3kgt those cars are the biggest pos ive ever driven and thats saying something. it was a 3800 lb car back in the early 90s when airbags werent even standard. plus get this a 40k car that had abs as a option which was a good thing cuz the abs system would fail cuz mitsu doesnt know how to make electronics guess thats cryslers fault though right. I dont see a honda civic out running a mustang gt unless its got a turbo or something because a high 13s car vs a high 17s car it takes some work to knock that 3 seconds off. Dont get me wrong I like most jap and other cars and id gladly buy them before id buy american but making tons of power just isnt something the japanese are good at sure they have a few here and there but there good at making econoboxes with no soul so just leave at that.
*watches the teal deer run past*
You must not realize that Mitsubishi was famous in America for making high-end televisions and stereos long before any company you can think off of the top of your head.
Airbags are standard in 3000GTs. My ABS kicks ass. And I have electronically customizable suspension. So I can alter my handling characteristics as I drive.
Yes, when 3000GTs were new they were expensive. They were Mitsubishi’s highest class touring car.
Designed to compete with Toyota Supras (which are also heavy), Mazda RX-7s, and Nissan Skylines (again, relatively heavy cars), the 3000GT was a luxury/sports car designed purely to have lots of power available, and have every creature comfort that could be thought of.
Keeping that in mind, I will admit that my car doesn’t even have every option, and it weighs 3604lbs. But I also have all-wheel-steering, all-wheel-drive, electronically customizable suspension, active aerodynamics, tunable exhaust, twin turbochargers, a 6-speed, power everything, CD changer, digital temperature module readout, airbags, a full size spare, and a 20 gallon fuel tank.
So, I think that, for half the price of a Mercedes Benz, having all the options that they did and still having a pretty nice car is worth it.
I’m not crazy enough to spend $43,245 (sticker price for my car when it was new) for anything.
That’s why you buy them used, and rebuild them. Because from the showroom floor, they were amazingly overpriced. But you can find any body style 3000GT for under 10k now. For the price, find a more elegantly designed, attractive car. I rather like my leather seats and deep exhaust note.
And as for Mustang VS. Civic, I have only one thing to say. Civic Si. 210hp, roughly 2300lbs. Mustang GT. 315hp, roughly. Almost 3600lbs. That’s for a 2008 Mustang GT. The power to weight ratio there is so much smaller, as opposed to the Civic. Add an intake, exhaust, and a supercharger (all less than the price difference between the two cars) and you’ve got a 280hp Honda that can outrun any stock Mustang. The Mustang is essentially a 14 second car. It’s in the HIGH 13s. And most drivers aren’t skilled enough to put their Mustangs in the mid-13s from the factory. I don’t know what Civic specs you’re looking at, but I grew up driving a ’94 Si Hatch with 300hp that ran 14s.
And you say that Japanese cars can’t make big power? Look at the Evo, or the entire Subaru lineup. All of them make around 300hp. And they’re all 4-cylinders. Most V8s don’t even make 300hp anymore.
So how can you say they don’t make big power?
Did japan make a better atomic bomb? i dont think so…
At least fast cars aren’t made specifically for killing people.
No your not!
You claim first by replying to a comment? intelligence FAIL
Wow, you fail good.
first fail
Wel, he always was a little too close to Elliot…
I feel like this isn’t that bad of a fail…
Taken so nobody can first xD
“Taken so nobody can first xD”
Ummmm, you did.
Boggy… Has Mikey been teaching you to talk?
Colour fail? It’s a different colour from ET?
It looks like it might be a different religion too.
You reckon ET excommunicated it from his body?
I heard it spun around when they exorcised it.
After vigorous exorcise it spews green everywhere.
I heard he couldn’t get it to light up on demand.
Gah! this doesn’t belong here!
That’s what Elliot said.
*applauds*
Hahahahaha.
LOL
Maybe you should put a light on the end to find your way!
End = glans?
Glans, or an appendage …
How about a french tickler with a light?
how about the baby jesus butt-plug, I have a whole case and not enough orifi
Knickerbocker presents: The Potato Pryer Deluxe, for the Adventurous Vicar!
With built in Scopic Light!
Easy insertion, even in the darkness of a confessional box.
for your holiest of holy’s!
Humor win!
first :0|
Fail.
eben BOGGY noes U spelled QUEER wrong!HA HA HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!
*STOMPS Queer qwer into BOG*
Mamma mia! But I don’t think Elliot will be bonding with that!
Is that a reference to Pierce Brosnan?
Is that a reference to Remington Steele?
Is that a reference to Maxwell Smart?
Is that a reference to the Avengers?
Is that a reference to the Fantastic Four?
Is that a reference to Air Bud?
Is that a reference to my imaginary friend?
Is that a reference to Jan Brady
*inserts ‘?’ into previous post*
*inserts 8==D into previous poster*
*inserts 8==========D into previous poster*
I get it! It’s cuz it looks like a penis!
thx captain obvious
Designed to be used in the darkness.
Make sure Elliot’s not looking!
Mummy’s just going to phone home, dear.
I thought she’d set the phone to vibrate to await your call?
Her phone must be on mute. She never answers it, always calls back after a couple of minutes.
It’s a trunk call.
wow, and i thought checking for prostate cancer was tough on humans, would hate to be ET
Eat SHIT.DIE!
geil
I think they misspelled “grows”.
I think they misspelled “boner”.
I think they misspelled “aroused”.
E.T.? Enormous Todger?
Extreme Titillation?
Erection Toy?
Eccentric Tigers
Emasculated Toe
Excited Throbbing?
Elliptical Thumbclamps
Enjoyable Tumescence?
Erogenous Tremors?
Ecumenical Tubers
Erotic Tension
Effervescent Trembling
Exploding Trash?
Elongated Thumb
Elaborate Tintinnabulation
Erect Thingy
erectile tantalizer?
Capitals fail. shit…
Ribbed for her pleasure?
they never say for his pleasure, cuz if they did, the package would be empty
Woman!!
You got that from a comedy skit >:(
PLAGIARISM FAIL
What does that say at the bottom of the package? Is that first word “knicker”?!?
Kinda looks like it says “knicker-bocker.”
It looks to me like “knicker-shocker”.
The second one is “licker”.
I think you should licker first.
Liquor first, that’s what I always say.
Yes, they’re more willling when they’re unconscious.
yes the beer goggles definitely help
BTW I was not implying that they were needed
Ha! A conscience! (btw, I loved your ‘sex wee’ comment the other day heheh)
Why thank you DrB
Is it really from the “Knickerlocker”?
For once, I genuinel don’t think this looks like a penis.
I think I’ve grown up
This is the only thing you’ve ever seen that doesn’t look like a penis?!?!?
lol. that’s not what i said at all or even insinute. you word-twister you *squeeze*
Not necessarily like a HUMAN penis…
Maybe a severly mutated (or mutilated) human penis…
Honestly, if you EVER see a penis that looks like the E.T. “finger” … RUN. Fast and far, RUN.
However, if it is your own penis and it is also running then you’re having a problem.
Yeah, but if it IS your own penis, you should be running to see a doctor.
And you can get there in the dark!
Sorry, but it has to be done. . . .
What’s ET short for?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because he’s got little legs!
*Ba-dum-Tish*
extra testicle beep beep
Extra-Terrestrial
iow, from another planet
Extra-Terresticle.
surely im not the first to say this??? ” ET…Foam Bone”
what happened to the failblog channel on Youtube? anyone?
Oh… dear god.
Yes son?
They misspelled Deer God, they were looking for Herne.
They misspelled Queer God, they were looking for Freddy Mercury.
Buddy you’re a boy makin big noise
Playin’ in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo’ face
You big disgrace
Kickin’ your can all over the place
Singin’
We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you
Don’t stop him now! He’s having such a good time! He’s having a ball!
The show must go on!
He’s stone cold crazy, y’know.
I hope he’s careful. Otherwise another one bites the dust.
No offense, but I think you’re going slightly mad!
No! It’s just a crazy little thing called love!
I want to break free of this thread.
That would take a kind of magic.
He’s waiting for the hammer to fall, and it’s putting him under a lot of pressure.
He could use the Innuendo machine.
So where do we go now?
It’s a beautiful day. We can go anywhere.
Can we take a midnight train?
I could stand here waiting, oooh, for another day…
I got Georgia on my mind.
They misspelled Beer God, they were looking for Dionysus.
They misspelled Steer God, they were looking for the minotaur.
They misspelled Fear God, they were looking for Phobos.
…but found Cheney.
Badum-tsh!
I’m having a badum-tsh-day. Sorry!
I’m sorry, I’m just not getting the cymbalism.
We’ll have to drum it into you.
I just read “Being funny for drummies”.
Breaking the Combo with that particular line was HILARIOUS!
.
badum-tish!
Ooouuuuuccchhhhhh.
Truely, I love the mental process that your mind went through to arrive at that comment!
your two comments make me lol
“Youu…light up my liiife…”
*Touch this*
No no, the joke goes “Pull this”
But the real fun starts when you push it back as well.
Rinse and repeat.
Am I the only one here that thought Finglonger?
Futurama ftw
I thought was pepper!
I actually had one of these as a kid. (I was too young to realize the similarity.) My mom’s work made them & it stopped working within a week or two. (I’m sure my parents were thrilled since we would touch everything in the house saying, “Ooouuuch”.)
don’t repeat that story again, just a bit of advice. What other kinds of amusing penis shaped toys did your mom’s company make and how many of them did she bring home for you to play with?
or maybe not even for you
Oh, honey, put that down… well, um that’s… um… a toy… for you. Just for you. Don’t go showing it to daddy.
old
You’re older than you’ve ever been,
And now you’re even older,
And now you’re older still.
TIME! Goes marching on.
and TIME! Still marches on
.
or something.
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay old
your mom or your comment?
His keyboard. The “a” gets stuck sometimes.
ah yes, I see he was hammering away at it (the keyboard) and he accidentally the caps lock button.
If you use a tissue, your keyboard won’t get so sticky.
I like how it lights up when you *SQUEEZE* it.
The only thing Fail about this is your dirty minds, folks.
Not suggestive, not fail. And neither are plant shoots.
It look like 90 year old man weewee
It look like Grouch’s boyfriend’s member after a rough time at the comic convention
the thing is that who the hell would want an ET finger
seems like the worst toy ever
besides , of course, your mother
Middle!
My wife would like that..!
No she didnt really like it that much…too itchy
heh. I had one of those the year the movie came out
Lights up when pressed!
I actually had this toy when I was a kid. It sucked. The button inside the finger had to be pressed really hard to get the light to work, but that was impossible with short, skinny kid fingers. And it was made from this awful, smelly plastic, and it stopped lighting up about a month after I got it. A weird toy all around.
And now we know why it was so weird as a kid’s toy, it was actually for the parents after the kid said it broke.
E.T. = ENTRY (IN THE) TUSH, THIS IS CLEARLY FOR THE ANUS, AND IS A UNISEX PRODUCT.
So it fails at being an epic fail?
LMAO!
This has “Oozinator” written all over it!
OMG. I actually had one of these as a kid. My innocence was destroyed when a family friend did make a joke implying that it looked like a penis. I was 7, for goodness sake!!!
Did they make an ET buttplug too?
jajajajaja esos americanos con las que salen,parece otra cosa jajajaajajaja
*FINALLY finds a reason to pounce from the shadows she usually lurks in*
Colombiano: Making a FAILure of a comment in another lauguage does not negate the FAIL. Also – mujeres americanas no necesitan juguetes – solamente necesitan con muchachos como ti…lol
laNguage…furst fail – yay on me
It’s okay – the n was just rotated by 180 pegrees.
How did you do that rotated d?
I didn’t really – I flipped the b.
that was Mitty. jocular even.
DONKEY PUNCH
LOLOLLL!!!!!!!!!!1111111111 thats funy. it looks liek a penis. a rinkly penis xD
Your spelling is fail, a wrinkly fail.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*fartz da rane-bo and eats choco chips wiht cat sauce*
Someone, please *fans self* PLEASE get this man/woman/chewbacca/chupacabra/whatever a dictionary.
bonerific!!!!!!!!!!!111111111
E.T. f*ck home.
The E.T. finger is evil! It shoots seeds!
LOL PENIS!!!11
what is it?
just thin
Nice post! Keep it real.I have looked over your blog a few times and I love it.
marketing fingers isnt right
hmmm….win.
fail fail fail!!!
I had one too when I was a kid!!!! I was about 6 and too young to understand what else could be used for— wish I still had it now!
I remember this product from the 80s. Bought one out of a closeout bin and had it for years … completely as offensive looking in real life as you can imagine from this picture.
Poke at my c*** XD. Said “E.T the prev”
Easy way for young girls to get sex toys? Clever merchandise!
lololololololololol clever indeed.
ET go home.
FAIL
My neighbor used to have one of these back in the early 1980′s. I was horrified by the ET movie (I was 5-6) and he and my older brother would sneak into my room in the middle of the night and night saying ET quotes and get me screaming.
I wonder if that thing has a vibrator?
hmmmm
It’s like that Vibrating Harry Potter Broom
No Jokes, my fingers all look exactly like this.
heeeeeeey..thiis was on jeepers media too!
Could be a WIN. Depends on your perspective.
I don’t think it lights up… it RISE up. OMG XD
sure…. “finger”
sextoy for kids.
I had one of these things and it was awesome!!! When i was 6.
it lights up too…
3 in 1!!!
does anybody live in California, San Jose?
i had one but my bigsister took it and she is 15
I guess that is how old women realistically pleasure themselves
that`s how my 12 years old cousin got deflowered
so sad ..
lol its probably a real finger that some hobo cut off someone and sold to a store.
et was a failure, big money, big failure.