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Cheezburger Network Blog
FIRST
“I can’t hear you.”
My first first ever and you don’t hear me?
Me fail
I can’t hear you.
Sorry don’t speak in “Firsts”
Sorry, can’t read your comment!
Try this then.
*hands over Bascic Reading text book*
See Spot run! Ooooh, he’s got a shiny collar!
*Is distracted by shiny object and runs after Spot*
I want that collar!
Maybe you two should test your horrible piano skills to make this song even more lohan-ey.
What the FREAKING hell.
This was not meant to be in here. Damn you, Failblog.
The FB monster has been active, I see. Remember kids, “Reply to this Comment” is your friend.
Strangers with candy, however, are not your friends, no matter what they say.
Stranglers with Kookies am BOGGY Frend?
No…strangers with cookies are NOT Boggy’s friends.
Have some plates and coffee mugs, Boggy.
For everyone else, there are chocolate covered strawberries – definitely only two per person. Usual penalties for greediness apply, blah blah blah etc. etc. etc. If you don’t like chocolate or strawberries, I have leftover sugar cookies and icing from yesterday.
Gratefully takes a strawberry.
*munch*
Mmmmm! where did you get these this time of year?
I live in San Diego, where it is currently about 70 degrees Farenheit. “This time of year” doesn’t hamper strawberries too much in our neck of the woods.
mmmmmmmmmmmm, Diana thanks!! I needed that.
*plucks strawberries from plate with toothpick*
*hands BOGGY toothpick*
tank sinewWhoaNellie!Mmmm! Poothticks am YUMMY! MOAR?Locally Grown Louisiana Strawberries are now in season here! Some I bought over the weekend were so big I had to cut them in half just to be able to bite ‘em!
Strawberry Salsa: louisianastrawberries.com/salsa.html
I just made myself a strawberry milkshake!
I believe I have strawberry plants around here somewhere. I’d have to get a shovel to show you. In another month I’ll be able to dig in the dirt again. Sigh.
Diana: louisianastrawberries.com/shake.html
That looks delicious! Mine was a bit simpler, though. I’m dieting, so it was a cup of strawberry halves, a half cup of skim milk, and 8 large ice cubes, blended well (this makes 2 servings), then I stirred in some light whipped cream to make it more shake-like. Yummy and only 55 calories for a serving.
Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…
*goes up to Skwerlly to see what he’s looking at*
8-O 
Should we be letting BFF see this… he is still young and impressionable!
*stops the blender* Okay boys, move along. Nothing to see here.
*eyes are glazed over*
Whaaa? Milkshake?
*collpases*
Quick a DOCTOR! CZUHC! HELP!
The poor boy can’t seem to spell any more!
*aies open sligtly*
Skrewly? Wa Hppaned?
Well, son, your were exposed to SEX!
The blood has rushed from your head!
The swelling will eventually subside, (by
the time you’re 75-80 years old). OK?
Ookai, Skwery.
Wa ai do now?
Oh! And you won’t ever be able to
think in any logical manner when in
the presence of Females ever again!
Sorry!
You could see Dr. Czuhc, however
it’s probably best to go home and
take matters into your own hands.
*slaps self*
Ah, that’s better.
What? You mean I can’t think when I see females? Preposterous! Why I…
*sees a pretty lady walk by with nice legs and curves*
I…I…I…
*lady goes away*
I…what was the question?
When Di makes a milkshake it is quite a concoction.
You’re into pain already? That’s a quick start!
Usually slow and easy wins the race. Well,
whatever does it for ya & makes it all better.
What? I have to slap myself so I can speak coherent English. Otherwise, I’ll be speaking like a 5 year old for eternity.
Diana & I do agree:
Darling it’s better
down where it’s wetter
take it from me…
DAMN!
*follows Amber as if in a trance*
Oh, not again.
*collapses*
Amber, we’re supposed to use our power for good only, not for evil or for amusement. *puts up a Japanese-style three-panel screen between Amber and the boys* Be careful.
*loses all motor functions*
I will obey…
Drat, I missed one! *puts a sleep mask over aikiwaza’s eyes*
Hee….! Boys…! They are SO much fun.
Yes, yes they are, but we need to play nicely with our toys and not abuse them too much.
Hey!!! A Japanese style three – panel screen! Whoops! I knocked it ov-
Amber? Oh my-
*blacks out*
Ok, that time you just went looking for it. *gently ties BondFan to a chair and puts a bunny rabbit head on him*
*wakes up*
Uh, why am I wearing bunny ears? Who tied me to this chair? Untie me, I say! This is against my human rights!
Let men say whate’er they will,
Woman, woman, rules them still.
Wow! BFF in bondage at such an early age. They grow up so fast these days…
What? Bondage? Aaah!!! Someone call the police!!!
*tugs at ropes*
Help! I’m being assaulted!
Diana, Amber, Dragon and all the other girls; here’s something you’ll get a kick out of…my fav web cartoon. For [Example click me name]
Is it wrong that I found all three of those girls in the cartoons very sexy?
*pats Bondfan on the head* No dear, that’s the point.
I’m dieting too, although my diet consists mostly of stout and crisps. But a diet is a diet, I reckon.
big enough comment pyramid.
Not yet…
BOGGY wunt 2 say sumtingBoggy wunt to tells you dat about the
Ooooo! Hi Ammmmmberrrr, um, ahhh...
*drools*
*leashes BOGGY*
Come along Boggy the BOG needs stirring and you smell too goo—
Ooooo! *jaw drops* Errr Ummmm
*drops leash and scampers over*
HI AMBER! HI DIANA! HI DRAGON!
How you girls doing? Hmmmm? *winks*
*takes two chocolate-covered strawberries* *savors*
I liked the comic too.
Sinfest, it’s a hoot! Start way back at
the beginning, it’s addictive, humourous,
witty, intelligent, crafty, sly, insightful,
direct, obtuse, and fun! Well, worth the
time spent reading it at work. Read the
Wikipedia entry, it helps to give insight
to the plot and all the characters.
It’s a “Never Fail” Good Start to my day!
this show is the kind of garbage we have to deal with everyday on TV in Australia
Wow, here, try this
*hands over basic literacy textbook*
Basic*
Textbook*
La la la la la la la
Hey everybody! Lindsay can sing!
Not very well, mind you.
The screching! It’s getting to me! Nooooo…
*puff*
Well it’s a good thing I’m pretending not to hear it.
*pokes fingers in ears*
WHAT? SPEAK UP!
It sounds too vague. Please go slower!
WhaAaAAaT?
Ima sorry, your words blend in with my la la la la la la la la
What is he saying?
…to fail
…or not to fail…
Wait, what was the question?
Something about digestion?
Something about discretion?
Whips and scorns. ^
that’s not MY profession…
Something about detection?
Do you have a suggestion?
Something about dissection?
I think I’m having an er….lobe.
dr. seuss izzat you?
That is the bare bodkin.
I don’t look good in twain
All my suits are made for a whole person
And we have yet another example of a fine, expanded vocabulary! Wow! I so appreciate being in the presence of those with such motivating words. I must admit, though, there’s no blank space and exclamation point on this one, which does detract from its influential power.
.
(sarcasm again)
FFS! I had to do it! The “No comments yet” link spoke to me… Just like the voices in my head tells me that you must die…
Next time think of something else to write that’s related to the topic. You’ll get much warmer responses.
.
I’d rather you kill off the people I work with that came in here last week with fevers and head colds. Now half the office is sick!
Yeah, and when you’re finished with velvet’s office come over to mine and do the same.
After that we may reinstate your dignity.
Maybe.
No, the voices are telling me to kill you
I can’t hear the voices.
Then you can’t be the Decider.
What about writing something about the video itself instead of “F****”?
dude, i never see anybody here EVER write anything about the actual fail, so maybe it’s time to open your fucking eyes and see that this is a fucking playground for 35-year old nolifers. kthxbai.
How about these?
“FOREMOST!”
“INITIAL!”
“PRIMER!”
“OPENING!”
or my personal favorite:
“PRELUDE TO ACTUAL DISCUSSION!”
Perhaps to denote SARCASM we ccould all decide to use same prefix or suffix to the Sarcastic Comment; such as: S (bold italic “S”) or perhaps $ (bold italic “$”) ?
*considers the idea further*
Or we could just let it alone.
I think half the value of sarcasm comes from its inherent ability to separate the witty from the non-witty, i.e. those who can recognize it from those who can’t. That might just be me, though.
It’s not.
Agreed completely DTI. Although I might still substitute a “$” for an “S” every now and then…
I started writing (sarcasm) on my extreme sarcasm posts so that those who can’t recognize sarcasm don’t light into me for being mean.
Um, was that a sarcasm?
Bascically I can’t hear you… WHAT?
Now Bob, my technicians tell me that you CAN hear, but you are just pretending that you cannot.
Now Dan, my phoneticians tell me that you CAN hear,
but you are just pretending that you’re a carrot?!
Bob, you can talk to Phoenicians? Awesome. Can you ask them how they made their purple dye?
Easy, they used the Eyeballs of the Four Toed Phoenician Cave Newt. One in seven had Purple Eyes.
But my Phoneticians are not Phoenicians
so they may just be outright lying to us.
There’s no such thing as sarcasm on the interwebs, because every possible opinion is held by someone.
So if I say, “My God, it really adds to the fullness of my experience on the tubes to have techniques of humour, as they apply to a purely written environment, explained in great detail by strangers”, it’s quite possible that that’s actually my opinion.
So, it’s far better to stick with
NO YUO!
How very pedantic of you…
Gosh!
I wish he would just dispense with the pedantries and get on to the point.
How very pointed of you…
better than being disappointed !
He was appointed to be ‘defender of all’
“There’s no such thing as sarcasm on the interwebs, because every possible opinion is held by someone.”
Ohmigawd…this may be the funniest thing I’ve ever read…someone help me, I can’t breathe….!
Puff, puff, pass.
*Sits Dragon on a chair and fans her like a southern belle.*
I don’t want you to faint. This is what you were meant for. None of the failers you’ve ever know have made you laugh like this, have they?
Whew…! I feel better. For some reason, that one just tickled my silly spot.
(Comments may nest below this level)
There ought to be a website where all you guys can go and play ’snap’ to your heart’s content.
Quit talking over each other!
Sorry didn’t hear that, what?
You keep saying that I can’t hear you. Stop insulting me like that!
FTF! *hugs*
B2th! *hugs* you keep hugging me but I can’t *SQUEEZE* you! Stop insulting me like that!
He can’t hear you. Can’t you see his receipt?
quit swearing about their mother
Actually I think he said “I just saved 15% on my car insurance.”
Didn’t she say she stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night?
…the hip bone’s connected to the – head bone…
…the head bone’s connected to the – knee bone…
Sing along, everyone!
*looks frantically from side to side with hands over head*
What… what’s going on in here?
*runs away suppressing frantic burbling*
Who knew that the hokey-pokey really IS what it’s all about?
I can’t hear you. I’m shaking it all about.
THIRD
*Strikes someone’s head with the Bronze Medal*
Very good! I see that you’ve willingly complied with the “Tazing Ban Treaty”
There’s been a ban!?
There has.
A new treaty has come into law, stating “All trolls must be either ignored or disarmed using methods that do not involve tazing”.
Would you like to sign it?
Sign hell! Then somebody could PROVE something. Not me. Nuh uh. No way. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Feggutaboutit. Are you looking at me?
Sign hell? Is that where all the idiots who make the FAIL signs go?
Hee!
I can’t hear you say that you’re third.
My technician says you can hear him and you are just pretending that you cannot hear him.
4th lol! that’s my lucky #. Ok, now let’s comment on the video. I have no audio at work.
Read Velvet’s reply to the firster. That’ll give you a pretty good idea.
“I can’t hear you. Stop rustling those papers in the back ground. Ok, ok, let me focus.”
“I think you can hear me, you are just pretending to not hear me.”
“Oh, so you are saying I can’t hear you? Are you calling me a liar?”
“Ma’am, that proves that you can hear me.”
“if you are going to strat insulting me I will not answer any questions.”
“Ok ma’am, this interview is ended.”
apparently waving your hands at the side of your head increases concentration…
*tries it at the office*
Nope all that it’s doing for me is getting me odd looks at the office and some one approaching with a white jacket.
After Labor Day? And before Memorial Day? Call the Fashion Poice!
They already have a full file on me… It’s a lost cause.
durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
That’s your lucky #? Well, 2 is my lucky @ and 8 is my lucky *. However, 4 is my lucky $.
No, you’re just not that lucky. Now just shut up and drive.
Nah, I think he can walk, he has his umbrella.
You know that a diva is female version of a hustler, right?
17 is my lucky *. Weirdly though, if I say 17 out loud, I can’t hear it.
If I say * however, I can hear it.
Judging by how a * looks you just farted loudly then?
Hey George
No audio here either.
It’s never stopped me before
for this one I hooked up my speakers and am playing it when people come up to ask me for favors.
*nods in abject approval*
My technicians tell me you CAN see what I am posting and that you are just pretending to be more interested in the potato.
*rustles papers noisily*
Stop distracting me!
What?
It looks like you are making eyes at me!
I can sometimes make a spectacle of myself, so sorry.
I don’t put my glasses on, they run down the battery.
Fawlty Towers FTW!
Is this a piece of your brain?
I don’t know. Did you make the frame out of concrete, or wood?
Does it float?
We all float down here.
Beep! Beep!
Yes? Then it’s a witch…. burn!
Yes, but what else floats in water?
A DUCK!
Who are you, so wise in the ways of science?
I am Aikiwaza… I mean… I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
*bangs two coconut halves together*
“He must be a king…he hasn’t got sh*t all over him.”
On second thought, let’s not go there. . .
T’is a silly place.
It’s only a model.
Wait a minute. Perhaps she’s right. Perhaps I’ve been wrong to blindly follow the medical traditions and superstitions of past centuries. Maybe we barbers should test these assumptions analytically, through experimentation and a “scientific method”. Maybe this scientific method could be extended to other fields of learning: the natural sciences, art, architecture, navigation. Perhaps I could lead the way to a new age, an age of rebirth, a Renaissance!
*thinks for a minute*
Naaaaaahhh!
trolls? aww, we can’t try it now
Is it an African witch or a European witch?
What is the speed of the African witch?
I don’t know tha- AAARGH!
I didn’t hear you at all… which witch?
I usually get the meatball. YMMV.
*puzzled look at B2F*
*wanders away thoroughly confused*
Laden or unladen?
Laden or bin-Laden?
Guess I was just being short sighted.
No, that’s just the money you could be saving with Geico.
LOL!
I can’t see you.
.
I’m not listening!!!
Everyone’s gone deaf!!! Aaarg, silence!! I can’t hear SILENCE!!!!
Shush girl, shut your lips!
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips!
I said shush girl, shut your lips!
Do the Helen Keller and talk with you hips!
She wants to touch we woah, she wants to touch me woah…
.
Sorry, it seems the perfect opportunity to post an earworm
earworms only infect if we know the song. I am perfectly safe from this one!
Earworm? Tapeworm is more like it…since the thought of Helen Keller doing the wild thing is pretty nauseating.
Whenever someone says Helen Keller, I think of an actress falling off a stage.
Hehee, me too!
Ahh, the good old days of Failblog, when the trolls were few in number and the witty banter never ended…
*eyes turn misty*
Look, I’m working on the perpetual banter machine. I just need to tweak it a bit…
*loud bangs and crashes resonate through the blog*
*smoke suddenly fills the thread*
HEY! Who sold the fire extinguisher??
It’s right here! *hands Dragonwriter the extinguisher* No, wait, this is just a hammer. What gives?!?
Where’s a fireman when you need him?
Sitting in the recliner playing with his hose…
*snert*
Completely off topic here, but I thought you guys might find this funny. And Dragon while the words (it’s a song) are not exactly work appropriate, I think you’ll like it.
Here’s hoping it works.
P.S. this was not a confession.
*snork*
How…appropriate. :p
Pssst…Hey dragon, you need to put a quantum feed back loop riiiight….there! Then it will work without the need for a fire extinguisher, increasing efficiency to 90%! You can’t get better than that…
holy shit, this pyramid never ENDS!
Gosh! You’re RIGHT!
People keep adding to it!
It’ll be the longest one ever!
*adds to pyramid*
Will we make it to the great giza status?
More like the tower of babel. I hope Gott hat damit keine Probleme. Moment…was ist los? Ich kann euch nicht verstehen!
Do you listen to contempoary songs? That one only came out a few weeks ago…if you listen to a top 40/ contempoary radio station, you should hear it…
OMG FIRST!
…
this fails on so many ways that a book can be published from it. Yeah, Bascic Fails.
OMG YOU MISPELED ‘BASIC’ MORAN!
OMG YOU MISPELED ‘BASIC’ YOU MORAN! LOL!
OMG YOU MISSPELLED MISSPELL AND MORON!
OMG NOT FIRST!!!!!!!!1111111oneoneeleven
Where is Boggy….?
Haven’t seen him today.
There was a rumor (a little bird told me) that the BOG has been eliminated.
Hopefully he didn’t go with it.
Ah… a shame to be sure…
*pauses for a quiet moment’s reflection*
Ahem.
Nothing was eliminated. It was pointed out that it was relatively new.
WHEW!! Thank God.
I was worried bout BOGGY. He’s probably just got a cold.
Anybody got any citric trolls we can send him?
I love you… you just made my day!
*offers big hug*
*hugs*
I refuse to take blame for something that is not my fault.
*clarifies: someone else (obviously ignorant of the ways of the BOG) insisted that the BOG had been replaced. When I said that it would always be the bog, Avis pointed out that the bog was relatively new. As someone who is relatively new to actually >posting< on FB, it was beyond my meager experience level to properly comment on either suggestions, so I just ate one of Diana’s delicious cookies instead.*
*pops up out of ground slinging dirt everywhere*
BOO! BOGGY SCARE YOU! ??HA HA HAR HAR HAR HAR!!Hoo wunts BOGGY? Boggy wunts 2 pway!AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>
Oh. Hi BOGGY!
*twitches on the ground of result of heart attack*
*performs CPR*
I am NOT giving you the kiss of life! I’ll let Dragon, diana, avis, or someone else do that…
what
that
was
trying
to
put
forth
was
some
comment
that
Sorry, I can’t hear you.
everyoneis
beautiful
except
trolls
*hops up & down with gloppy glee*
Yay! Even BOGGY r Bew-T-full!But Boggy, you must remember, interrupting a thread like this is a nawty thing to do (like I just did now).
*wags finger*
Still, you’re a good bogmonster aren’t you? Yes you are! Yes you are!
*purrrrrrs*
OPPS!*grrrrowwwlllls*
Purr? Boggy, are you a cat actually?
<<< Somewhere back that away I explained that BOGGY
was originally a lil’ Chipmunk.
a
smart
poster
can
accicdenty
the
potato
in
vicar’s
bum
FAIL
while
riding
hanging
behind
closed
meat
markets
puppets
and ponies
without
having
herpes.
consent
proper
protection
from
inappropriate
earworms!
like
“Under the sea [under the sea!]
Under the sea [under the sea!]
Darling it’s better
down where it’s wetter
take it from me…”
Earthworm Jim
Awingawe, Awingawe, Awingawe, Awingawe
In the Jungle,
the mighty jungle,
the lions sleeps tonight.
In the jungle,
the quiet jungle,
the lions sleeps tonight…
Disco
I can’t get no… satisfaction…
touching
oops – shouldda refreshed. Sorry, boogers, I mean, bloggers – just a little rusty from being away.
This opens up A Whole New World, you know.
“…and my heart will go on annnnnnnnnd onnnnnnnnnnn”
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
Im a womans man: no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm, Ive been kicked around
Since I was born.
And now its all right. its ok.
And you may look the other way.
We can try to understand
The new york times effect on man.
Whether youre a brother or whether youre a mother,
Youre stayin alive, stayin alive.
Feel the city breakin and everybody shakin,
And were stayin alive, stayin alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin alive, stayin alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin alive.
Disco, disco duck
Ah, get down, mama
I’ve got to have me a woman, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Disco, disco duck
Got to have me a woman
Disco, disco duck
Oh, get down, mama
Try your luck, don’t be a cluck, disco
Disco
Disco
Disco
Disco Duck!
Disco really made it
It’s empty and I hate it
And the next thing you know, skwerlls and ducks are mating! Along comes “Six little ducklings, sitting in a row. Fat ones, skinny ones, skwerlly ones, too.”
“And the skwerlly one jumped
as the ducky ones flew.”
Jump little skwerlly one!
So jump it did.
Fly little ducky ones!
So the ducky ones flid.
Quack little ducky ones!
So they quacked away.
Climb little skwerlly one!
So he climbed all day.
Wasn’t his goal to show that she’s a liar? I think this was an interview win.
Thats exactly what I thought.
I hate women like her.
I can’t hear you!
Actually, my technicians are tell me that you can hear him…
Mike Munro, what a champ!
buba is still concerned by this cucumber story…
Someone please stone this woman to death.
kthx
-The management
Steps to a healthier charity fund:
1) Stone said woman to death
2) ????
3) Profit
nonono, you have it all wrong. Safety is third. Always.
Don’t worry, I know second aid.
lol
while i appreciate your FB reference, it is blantantly clear that safety comes first.
then teamwork.
I’ll have a packet of gravel, please.
FIRST
FAIL.
Please. Don’t feed the trolls. Feeding them = encouraging them = making them happy. Making them happy = NOT GOOD.
OK, no one seems to wonder / ask: who is this woman? What the F is this about?
I’m curious! Inquiring minds wanna know. You know?
Sorry, different song.
How bizarre!
How brazil!
*hands B2F a tangerine…*
*hands Nellie a tambourine*
*hands scannerdan a tan sardine*
Berg,
Her name is Rose Portious. She was some 2 bit crack whore that married a wealthy Australian Businessman. Said business man died, and now she flaunts her cash like a striper on a pole.
She is the biggest wheezebag and excuse for a human being to walk the planet. Thats about it really.
Oh, so kind of like the Australian version of Anna Nicole Smith?
Ausfag, I am deeply offended by your derogatory comments about strippers and wheezebag’s. They are far better than that!
Anyway, can’t hear you.
I’ve met her a few times. She is such a miserable person, and I mean that in the sense that she’s lonely and sad. Even her kids hate her. She’s the one person that taught me that money is nothing if you’re an asshole.
Thanks for that Aus *thumbs up*
I’m so glad she moved away from Perth. It’s much nicer without her.
Can you hear me now?
Nope.
Good
SNL, please, please see this, watch it closely, memorize it.. this is funny. Make a skit, and use it in your show so it will be funny again.
Thank you
Arrose such a clatter?
*springs from bed to see what’s the matter*
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters
And threw up the sash
Let out with such an utter
That the milkmaid was all a flutter
oh, I hate when that happens. Try not to eat the sash when your hammered drunk, I know it’s hard to remember in that state of mind.
And next thing you know, he threw up the sash.
no freaking way…that is so not what inspired me to respond to dianatheinsane’s coment. extremely original Judy mouse
Pray tell, what does inspire you, abstract? (DTI doesn’t mind when I copy her comments – we share cookie recipes.)
lolz, love how you changed the name there. tee hee
I think I’ll keep it for a while. It feels good.
Screaming: “Lock all the doors and hide all the cash”
Take out the papers and the trash
Or you don’t get no spendin’ cash
If you don’t scrub that kitchen floor
You ain’t gonna rock and roll no more
Yakety yak (don’t talk back)
Yakety yak Yakety yak!
That used to be my favourite song!
and then?
…..and some eggrolls. Thanks.
I am a vampire and
lolz, i still love it it reminds me of the scene in “October Sky” where they rip up the rail road ties and then think “oh shit, here comes the train” but it’s on the other track….welll, it’s funny in the movie, not so much when I type it.
I thought this was more like “Owned” instead of fail?
What a bicth!
her receipt looks like a monster hand…look at it!
Yeah, I know! I was hoping they would zoom up on it and show that it was just a photo copy of her butt.
I’ll bet she was so afraid to lose it that she held onto it while she copied it.
Ouch… I wonder if that level of stupidity is painful
Meh, even if it was she would be too stupid to notice.
Stupidity seems to have a anesthetic quality.
*proffers bukkit* Would you like an “n” on the side?
Avis saves those ‘n’s for me whe I mess up.
Spellchecker had no problem with my post, so no thanks.
On second look, I think I’ll take a dunk. No, no, I’ve got my own.
*KERSPLORTCH*
*sigh*
No problem, we still love you.
Indeed.
*Grins, wipes corners of Avis’ mouth.
*Grins, offers clean ShamWow.*
Thanks. And I mean it from the bottom of my heart!
(This is simply too much fun)
*SMOOCHES after pudding is cleaned up*
oooooh, i was trying to figure out what you guys put in the bukkit
I have my own bukkit since I seem to need it SO often. Mine usually has fluffy mackerel pudding in it. Everyone has a different flavo(u)r in their bukkit though.
hmmm, I want mango flavor
it’s supposed to be your least favo(u)rite flavo(u)r. The idea is to dissuade you from making egregious spelling and/or typing mistakes.
OK, turkey then
Because turkey is the opposite of mango!
Um, what was she trying to prove. Because whatever it was, she FAILED!
She had the receipt, didn’t you see it?
The devil gives receipts for your soul?
Only if you sign it in blood…ask Faust!
E’en hell hath its peculiar laws.
Sign it? (DTI) Then somebody could PROVE something. Not me. Nuh uh. No way. Nada. Zilch. Zero. Feggutaboutit. Are you looking at me?
Didn’t we just go through this. I ain’t signing nothing ’till I talk with my attorney, Mookie!
Only if you use American Express
HILARIOUS!!!!!
Man, if only we hadn’t been able to hear HER. That voice and her constant interruptions with it were grating on my nerves.
I love a quality interview.
Then I suggest you never watch A Current Affair. This is typical of the kind of bullshit they pass off as “news and current affairs”.
Even better, Jerry Springer.
stupid fat ignorant bitch!
“Stay safe” means he’s going to kick her ass.
Would anyone else get massive amounts of satisfaction by asking “Can you hear me now?” three inches from her dumb face with a loudspeaker that dwarfs the sound of a jet engine?
I can’t get no
losing streak?
how do you get those cool avatars? i registered and uploaded a pic but it doesn’t show :’(
It’s a tradition to answer this question with the following:
Clear your cache.
uh hey hey heeeey… listen what I say…
When will I know that I really can’t go to the well one more time to decide on?
“…Satisfaction.”
So…is this clicky ^ you, Sidhe Cat?
cause i try and i try and i try and i try.
You can clearly tell by the way she’s reacting that she’s guilty of all charges. And being a douche.
I love how the announcer totally knows this too and just starts laughing!
I see Rose failing, Mike Munro winning!
I agree doan……….but, to me this is a typical liberal, they will not answer a direct question. When forced to answer, they just say “you suck,” or “I can’t hear you.”
I just went and looked over the last few fails, and Now I’m just stting here lmao! Quality, especially the multi car pile up…literally
Failblog does not disappoint!…..Except when it does.
But then they claim it was intentional. Something about irony.
looks she cant hear,can someone call a witch to make the exorcism???(i think i fail whit my bad english)
doesn’t care…my technicians told me they couldn’t hear you…WTF
that was an interviewER fail. It was a language barrier, not hearing. She was just using the incorrect vocabulary to express herself on the problem.
Um, she might be Filipino born, but she’s been living in Australia for years. I’m pretty sure they speak English there.
By krakey, I b’lieve they do, mate!
Kind of.
Filipino born, Alabama bound?
Don’t kid yourself, Rose Porteous is a notorious SLAG and speaks english quite well.
Yes they can!”looking at oboma picture”
“smile after see obama”
Lol! What a stupid whore!
Yes, she seems like she’s spent a lot of time sleeping around…
Ahh, what an apt way to introduce the rest of the world to Australia’s hard-hitting current affairs reporting. The sad thing is that they’re all like this, in various shades of lol and facepalm.
TOTAL WIN! The lady showed him sho’s BOSS!
362nd.
HA HA HA! Mike Munroe makes Rose Porteous look like a fool! CLASSIC!
she’s quite the crafty young fox
http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com/category/various-sundries
I POOPED! jk. yeah. the bitch dosent even know how to fake not listening.
I’ve got a dachshund you should meet…
The gist of the interview was that Rose Porteous put on a fashion show at her home to supposedly raise money for charity. It turned out once she deducted all her expenses (for ridiculous things like catering, decorating and CHANDELIER CLEANING) there was the grand total of about $500 that was going to charity. The interview was to quiz her about her perhaps pocketing the cash.
She is a shifty character. She was the housekeeper for her 3rd husband Lang Hancock and then married him. He promptly died in dodgy circumstances and his children actually launched legal action saying she had a hand in it.
390th!!
lol, “i cant hear you”
Use a banana phone.
FURSTT!!!!11
Interviewer Epic Win
that… was … AWESOME
What a disgusting individual. She should donate herself to Soilent Green.
Can you hear me now…*short pause*
Good! She sure is ignorant, wouldn’t want to get stuck with her in science class,
or worse(if i was in one) a debate club!
Haha, that was from Australia, I live in Aus and it’s about 3-4 years old.
lol
AUSTRALIAN TV FTW. I remember crying with laughter when this was first on TV.
She was also in a magazine ad campaign for canned tomatoes. It was just a full page photo of her and at the bottom of the page was a can of tomatoes and the words RICH & THICK.
Rose Porteous is a gold digging former maid who has zero class and is a minor celebrity for being nothing more than a twit.
A Current Affair interviewing Rose Porteous. That’s pretty much a recipe for fail right there.
Rose is getting to look a bit like benny Hill these days and her voice sounds like the funny Asian accent he used to do…all she needs to say is ’stupid irriot’ or something.
was that ting tong from little britain?
jesus i need a gun to shoot that bitch
I’m guessing she probably meant to say I can’t understand you. Maybe he talked too fast at some points but not others. Or she’s just nuts.
LOL how the fuck did this woman get on TV? :’]
Holy Crap…no joke i know this lady’s ex husband’s family and they all think she is a total money hungry bitch. I cant believe i just saw this ha ha
Oh yeah, A Current Affair for the win! Channel Nine and Aussie TV rock!
She definitely means she can’t understand him.
o.o This interview reminds me disturbingly of some conversations I’ve had while subbing at elementary schools…
lmfao she’s so funny.
Ever heard of language barriors? She just wanted him to slow down….
more facepalm then fail imo
he looka lika man
wat kind of man?
She fails on enough levels that it actually begins to require copious amounts of skill.
This is obviously a language barrier. That news caster is an ignorant prick, she obviously didn’t mean “hear” she meant “understand.” However, he assumed that she was being rude, when she just doesn’t speak english! People are stupid.
Ha ha that is no language barrier my friend that is her thinking she’s better than the reporter. She is saying that she can’t hear him and talking over him because he doesn’t believe that she had the receipt for the donation and she thinks that is bad P.R. for her because no one else believes her either and he is just making the fact more widely known. She also directly quotes the reporter and says it loudly so no one can hear the reporter talk….she was being down right rude and snarky. The reporter is not an ignorant prick I’m afraid. If you knew anything about the context of this interview you would see that he is not and she was just being rude to him. I am Australian and I can tell you this is how it was. My advice is educate your self before you jump to any conclusions, know the facts and make informed statements, not ignorant remarks. Please do the world a favor and at least know what you’re talking about before you say it. “People are stupid”, yes I will agree to that, but perhaps a different people than who you are referring to. Say something intelligent or not at all.
Heed my advice and you might actually get somewhere.
Wow, she’s rude!
sweet, aussie news!
Cool fact… I went to primary school with that news presenters daughter.
Really that person being interviewed was a scammer or was she one of the people that get scammed
Hmmm… now where does this belong?