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Cheezburger Network Blog
That takes skillzzz
Beatzzz with randomzzz
first!!!
No buddy, I beat you! Without trolling!
Take it like a man… or woman… or whatever you are.
Yes he beat you. You must handle the failure of being beaten on this special occassion…..
but seriously, it’s doubted if you two can handle that much of a failure anyway.
You sir are the retard. No-one, but no-one, calls a fellow failblogger a retard. Only trolls deserve the title, ie- you.
*removes BondFan’s tazer battery from charger*
*hands BondFan fully charged battery*
*stands back*
*smiles*
So THAT’s why it wouldn’t kill anybody!
*tazes oke like hell on wheels*
*throws oke’s body into cage*
Job done.
Thanks! I signed a petition to ignore them…
Right.
It has given me great pleasure to protect Failblog from these horrid trolls. My tazer has almost become a part of me. But.
*stirring music*
I understand trolls can only be ignored if we can stop them. Although this will mean I will have to give up my tazer, and my job of feeding Boggy (bless him), I know I will have gone along with my fellow Failbloggers in banishing these disgusting low-lifes once and for all.
I therefore hand in my tazer, resign my post of Boggy-feeder and troll-tazer, and sign this petition.
*takes out pen and signs petition*
*hands in tazer and hazmat suit*
I guess I won’t be needing those anymore. Someone fresh can do the job for me.
*salutes*
*salutes back*
I can only hope Boggy will forgive me…
He’s a robot, he doesn’t have feelings.
But really, are you trying to say up there “Trolls will only be stopped if we ignore them?”
I guess I phrased that badly. I meant, they are only encouraged if we fight with them. Ignore them, and they will get bored, and move onto another place to plague with their meaningless comments.
You, sir, are mistaking Boggy, a fully organic Bog Monster property of SB, for a late Mecha (now retired from service with all due honors, and then turned into toasters).
What a solemn moment.
*salutes with tears in his eyes*
You, Sir, are an honorable man. The spirit of tazing will live on in our minds and hearts. Whenever a troll appears, we will automatically consider him tazed and tossed.
Amen to that, Arthur.
*salutes while weepy violin plays in background*
*salutes*
We will miss your tazing days, friend.
*tears well up in eyes*
Sigh…
*salutes*
Is the job of troll-tazer…open, sir?
Your tazer has become a part of you? He’s a cyborg! Everybody ruuuuun!
*calms down*
That is of course, only if you use it responsibly.
Ah I see you were looking for someone to do the job? Well, I will never touch a tazer again, but I do have a controller that will guide typo fairies and grammer fairies (each wil their own bucket of acid) to trolls, attacking specific joints. This will render them immobile. While they are being rendered immobile, my nanobots will constuct a troll cage and conveyor belt, that will link up with the main conveyor belt of the BOG-O-MATIC. This is a highly efficient form of troll disposal.
*puts down CV on SB’s desk, and a CC on BFF’s desk*
Hope that will convince you.
*waves goodbye*
*tear* You will be greatly missed Bondfan4518. You probably
seen me yet (or maybe you have) but I am not new to Fail Blog.
I simply read the comments and add my input when I think it is
needed. Now, I was wondering can anyone sign this petition?
*Inserts haven’t*
FIRST!!! Fail!
SECOND YESSS
I hate seeing my name everywhere on this fail.
But there are just so many of you to handle for boggy’s stomach (if he is an ordinary guy pretending being that, anyway).
Did I just see a reference to Boggy?!? From Jason K of all people?! Seriously, don’t go losing your edge on us. The Fail Blog needs an angsty, Raskolnikov-like buzz-kill as much as it needs the trolls and the regulars…all are part of the circle of life around here.
*hands scannerdan a good cigar*
I have to disagree. I think JasonK has the potential to contribute witty and funny comments. So far, he refused to do so and acted like a troll and that was annoying. If he’s now trying to change I’m willing to give him a chance.
Actually Arthur, if you’ll look at my comment again I clearly refer to Jason K as something other than a troll. I’ve never considered him a troll, and I’ve stated before that he often posts funny/witty comments (see my rant yesterday). That said, the fact that he lingers around the blog, chastising those who take part in the fantasy aspects of it, makes him a bit of a turd. But still, like I said (with all seriousness) in my earlier comment, the Fail Blog needs buzzkill turds, just as much as it needs the trolls.
And as for me, hey, I just had a spare cigar
And as for me, I just opened the bar.
Drinks anyone?
*lights cigar*
I’ll have a Jack and Coke, if you don’t mind…and put Arthur and SloeJelly’s drinks on my tab.
I’m sorry, but I don’t think that trolls are needed around here. Just look at the suspect fail – that’s what trolls can do! They suck and I would be more than happy to never see any trolls again. After all, earthquakes, dog turds and mosquitos are also part of the circle of life…
We’ll just have to agree to disagree then.
earthquakes? life fail
FIRST
Do a faceplant
And do a failroll.
You are fifth.
fifth!
I have one apple, then two apples, then three apples, then four apples, then my brother gives me another two apples, how much do I have?
According to you, five.
sixth!
Nope.
And I got a much better place than you once but did not even brag about it.
And you are yelling about being sixth! That’s pathetic.
Try again.
Don’t encourage it!
hammykins! a pleasure to see you this fine Saturday!
And a good day to you too!
*removes hat*
Faceplant!
4th yes
Actually…
No.
What exactly is that setup? I’ve never seen a rail jam off of a mountain before… what is he even trying to do?
I dunno, but the guy on the other side with the camera is cracking me up!
Jay Leno should try it.
why, in particular?
surgery-free-chin-reduction
Ba-dum-tish.
ouch. looks like more than slight pain, to me.
Ouch. Looks like a Palin move, to me.
Nosegrind?
first
first is worst
bratwurst
hot dog
sexual innuendo
shitty pun
i fit right in.
i kid i kid
Ain’t it a lovely day for shitty puns?
Eat Shit,die!
at least he din’t say first.
*didn’t
at least he didn’t misspell didn’t
grammar fail
Mistake categorizing fail?
THIS IS A SHAMEFUL ATTEMPT TO GET TO THE TOP PART OF THE
COMMENT SECTION. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Also, the word “sublimity” on the picture makes it hilarious.
SHAMELESS*
SHAME!
Or was that really random of you? O_0
Now that is a nose grind
priceless xDDD
Are those triple chins?
I don’t think you’re ready for sloe jelly?
OMGWTFBBQ!!!
oh my god, what the f**k barbecue? is that anything like Mystery Meat?
Do not question the mystery meat. You will not like what you find.
Shamefully shameless.
Mamefully mameless
Famously famous?
Famously fameless*
(Damn you autocorrect)
He got owned..
In teh face!
there are worse places I can think to faceplant than on “Sublimity”, though!
I Kant think of one!
“a quickly alternating attraction toward, and repulsion from the same object” I would be waiting for the second step.
Patricia McKillip and Eddie Izzard make you good in my book!
Ooh…such a missed opportunity!
“…makes you good in my Burke!”
Snow surprise that you’d say such a thing, Dragon
He’ll have to Hobbes away after that one.
Someone should notify his next of chin….
So boardom really kills…
That was a planned fail obviously.
I got it! He was breakdancing.
Maybe he was facedancing?
Facebreaking?
Achey breaky facing?
this is not a fail.. it’s the inverted grind.. and big bonus points for getting the board-extension.
haha this picture was taken at just the right time xP
It takes extreme winter sports in a new direction. This is the faceplant event.
Takes a true athlete to win. If I had a camera two weeks ago I coulda owned him though.
Love it how you try to predict.
wow, that sucks. that’s gotta hurt. I’m surprised no one in the audience is wincing.
one person has her mouth open in shock, I think. The head, third from the left on the top….
Yeah, it’s painful just to look at him x(. *flexes neck*
lol look at the poster in the back. It says epic and they the wrote over it so it says epic FAIL
Haha I noticed that too
Epic fail is epic.
Another win for Captain Obvious!
What do you have to say, Mr. Obvious? What’s it like saving people from the horrors of the unknown?
i don’t think the worst part of captain obvious is the obviousness of his observations. i think the most annoying part, is how captain obvious always seems to emphasize odd portions of obvious things.
4 eggsample – captain obvious: “hey there guyz, wuts going on in this photo you ask me? it LOOKS like some GUY forgot gravity was the other way around.”
no funeral
But, but his avatar looks so cute! Can we keep him as a pet? Maybe we can convince Boggy to look after him.
Who, Sir Cheesy?
… i fell invaded…
what for the comments to flow in about how i misspelled “feel” -.-
im surprised you didn’t get the ‘what for’ on the misspelling also.
Woah, too many posts of me occured here. But there are lots of them coming.
And in the end, I like flaming at them only to be flamed and quoted by somebody else.
All the trolls come out of the woodwork on the weekends.
Who let the trolls out?
Woof, woof, woof, woof
*tunes guitar for accompaniment*
*Gets bass out*
Hey, is this a private jam or can anybody join?
*grabs cello*
Git down
EW PEDIFILE ALERT
LAST!
Your name says it all.
Scratch ’smart’.
Is this better?
Yep! Humility is always welcome until you prove otherwise.
I love you.
I was last when I posted.
SNOW fail.
’snow fail!
Icy a fail!
Sigh… such cold comments from the lot of you…
Chilling, isn’t it?
Any idea why this isn’t tagged as g-rated?
cuz the guyz nutsack flipped out probably.
i’ve been to that shop…..
Did you see a man with a flat face?
or a snowboard high-fiving all the other snowboards?
and this, kids, is how you shatter your larynx
http://www.lowbrowsophisticate.com
Okay, this is the relative putridity of various beings in increasing order.
Slugs
Slugs swimming in barf
Trolls
Spammers
Persistent Spammers.
You have decayed enough, find what is left of your brain and try as hard as you can to put it to good use.
Seconded.
thirded.
Snowboarding fail: noseboarding win!
This is a drunken snowboarder should not attempt parkour. It should be left to the professionals.
^why
i was wondering that myself.
I love how everyone else commenting is like SECOND! FIRST! FIFTH!
So really it’s called First Syndrome, where if first is not said, then everyone else decides to make their mark by trying to get second, or third, etc.
And failing.
Joshy, those people are called trolls. They make up only a quarter of Failblog here. Don’t pay attention to them. Ignore them, and they’ll go away.
Besides which, eventually they get tazed and/or tossed into the BOG, where they will receive a fate for which they are worthy (picture a BOG MONSTER torturing them endlessly and then crunching them up in little bites, savoring every nuance of their despicable trollness).
And there you have that.
The BOG has been replaced as a troll disposal place by “The BOG-O-MATIC ZX-9 ULTRASYSTEM” and has recently reverted to a relaxing scenic destination.
While I have a deep respect for technology in general, and the BOG-O-MATIC ZX-9 ULTRASYSTEM in particular, it is – and shall always be – the BOG.
I would like to take this moment to point out that it HASN’T always been the bog. That is something relatively new. And not necessarily an improvement.
O
M
G
Can we ever go back?
God willing.
If we all believe!
Maybe if we all clap our hands! Like with Tinkerbell!
*clicks heels together three times*
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…
*rings a bell*
*Is unsure what used to be there, but happy to find out*
I do believe, I do believe.
Well let me tell a story. Once, less than two moons ago, no one claimed ownership of any part of the blog. We all just … posted. Sure, we trashed a few trolls. They did deserve it. Others began to develop… other ideas.
*sits by the fire and listens wistfully*
*gets all nostalgic*
These others developed … several personalities. Rather like Sybil.
And some of these personalities were quite rude. Others decided they OWNED parts of the blog.
*opens eyes in awe and wonderment*
We were all here on our own. And yet a circle of friends developed. A society if you will. Yes, this society had a few, unspoken, rules. But these were the same rules that apply in the world outside of the blog. They tended to be polite (for the most part) to each other. And though they were given to occasional ribbing, they did not try to annoy each other (too much). But, alas, it seems those days are gone.
If Loz were here, she’d keep everyone in line.
She might take us to task over our spelling or grammar, but that’s about it. Unless she knows you. Then she might goose you.
And now, gone are those happy days, to be replaced with typo fairies, grammar fairies, from our fellow sites. It was only a matter of time before FB succumbed to the disease that was poisoning ICHC, and her fellow sites. This saddens me deeply.
Well, it sure is fun to fight back!
It sounds lovely. Let us bring it back.
I should add, I’ve only recently found Failblog. It was a cool place to come and see funny pictures. Then I started following the comments. That is something I usually avoid because most boards I’ve come across are dominated by posters who are trying to point out mistakes, be overwhelmingly negative, start fights… I guess there is a word for all of them. In any case, I was delighted to find out that most of the comments here are lighthearted and witty and generally intelligent.
Thank you folks of Failblog.
The point (finally): If these are Failblog’s dark hours, I’m extra delighted to see the light return!
*clap clap, click click, ring ring, thinking I can all the live-long day.*
Simply but well put.
*reminisces on a similar entrance experience to the FB*
OH right on the face!
is a faceplant anything like eggplant? cuz I don’t like that either. anyways, this looks like it hurt. alot. but I still would have laughed if I was there. alot. i’m done now. ok now. riiiight now. done. now. bye.
*This message brought to you by a mutual partnership of MTV and our Public School system*
A faceplant is more purple with some black and blue thrown in and road rash more often than not.
Often tempting, the faceplant can be quite tasty. The snatchplant is delectible, and may come with a root attached. The fruit of the assplant is to be avoided, unless you’re German.
Oh my.
or unless you’re the vicar.
Heee…
epicFAIL lol
You’re either pro or you noob, that’s life.
Im second you naabs
haha. this is the new boarding shop in Portland, Oregon (named epic snow, of course). this photo is the background for their computer in the shop. x)
Boarding shop – is that like a boarding house?
I think it’s
a) where pirates are trained in how to get on ships
b) a lumber mill
c) a dirty hockey player training camp
d) where smurfs go after getting laid off from the wonka factory.
dd) i just wanted to put double d’s there
Is this a lifelong dream that you have show off some double d’s?
I think it’s his lifelong dream to touch double d’s. Or any letter for that matter.
you know what they say about breast size… any more than a mouthful is a waste.
Dentist Win
He rather needs a spine doctor.
You’re angry. Go with what you feel.
If you take the snowboard out, It’s more like a BREAKDANCE WIN…
I would love to see the video of this! ….Someone go back in time and get some video!
If you can find some plutonium I will.
If you can grind some geraniums still
If you can sign some plutonium bills…
If you can hand me some heartburn pills.
We’re sorry – the space-time continuum you have reached is not in service at this time.
How did he even get in this position?! Doesn’t look natural. I hope he survived … maybe
Welcome to winter pilates.
Brrrr!
Wait until you see how he does a plank. It isn’t pretty.
This one looked like it smarted just a little ;>)
has anyone noticed that in the pic, whoever captioned it put “FAIL” over the word “snow” on the little yellow sign? I just wanted to point that out :]
Yeah, right next to the word EPIC. Thereby making this an EPIC FAIL. I do believe that was the point.
FAKE!!!
I assure you, I am quite real.
you rent cars to folks, rite?
not a fail if demonstrating how to keep your snowboard scratch-free
Hey, guys? Has anybody else noticed that practically all of the videos are reading as ‘Violating the terms of service’ or what-have-you? Wasn’t sure where else to post this.
oops! I did it again!
baby let’s do it
i’m sexy
Yes you are.
ops..
well that sign in the background is win. (the epic fail poster)
OUch, now thats gonna hurt!
RT
http://www.anonymity.eu.tc
I do believe the proper naming of this trick is a “Frontside Faceslide”
I’ll b sure 2 do tht!!!
you guys have this all wrong!!! This is an EPIC WIN!
What you don’t understand is that this is an extremely hard trick called the Faceplant McTwist. Very few people can pull this trick off, and apparently this man is one of them!!!
I think pros can do it easy, but you have to donate your face. It’s a steep price unless you were getting corrective surgery anyway ;~)
its actually my fav to watch. epic scorpion.
FacePlant FTW!!!
I am so happy this got up on fail blog, me and my friend “Lyle” were looking at pics and found this so we slapped a fail on it and sent it in. <– sorry cant spell
can i get a witness?
lyle. LOL!
That guy just Jeremy Lusked himself. BTW I’m the Angel of Death for Bjork
I feel honored to be the 232nd poster.
No no no, you’re supposed to grind BOARD first!
last. lol im kidding.
That seriously looks painful. i love the “epicFAIL” in the pic haha!
a matter of fact it’s not a failure he’s performing the world known FACEPLANT:P
SCORPION!!!!!!!
Iv done that be for
not fun
Snowboard Break dance WIN!!!!
he tought us how to do a faceplant XD
auch*******
Whats even better is that Sublimity is an INSURANCE company… XD
painful
he musta been trying a lipslide